Latest / Glovisor Podcast / Ep. 54: Stop Fixing Yourself: Your “Flaws” Could Be Your Superpower - Jeni Yelton
Transcript
- Joe: What if perfection isn't a goal and the very flaws that you're fighting could be the key to becoming more confident, effective leader? Welcome to the Glovisor Podcast, where we explore business growth, communication, and personal development through real conversations with people that make an impact. Our guest is a leadership strategist, executive coach, and speaker with more than 25 years of experience helping people lead with greater confidence, clarity, and purpose. She challenges one of the biggest traps in leadership: the exhausting pursuit of perfection. Her message is simple but powerful. stop fixing yourself and start leveraging what already makes you uniquely valuable. She's the author of Confidently Flawed, the Fatal Flaw Theory to Stop Fixing and Start Thriving. Glovisor welcomes Jeni Yelton. Jeni Yelton: Joe. It's so such an honor to be here today. Thank you for inviting me. Joe: you're welcome. Very excited. So Jeni, let's begin. Tell us a little bit more about what you do. Jeni Yelton: So I am a speaker, author, and coach. And really, when it really comes down to it, I am an adult learning theorist. I have spent my career trying to understand why I behave the way I do, why other people behave the the way that they do. And that's what I'm passionate about is really understanding people. And through that process, I I discovered that, you know, people spend so much of their time, effort, and energy in this comparison. mindset and I I realize it myself working in different types of industries and you know in corporate training and development and HR where organizations big and small try to put kind of this way of behaving onto employees and then get frustrated when there's these big gaps. And so as part of my development for others and part of my development culture in organizations, I've I've really focused on more of you know, what is about the impact of somebody and a little less with their their skills, how can they use those skills and the best skills in them? Because I am a true believer. Are you ready, Joe? You're not broken. Joe: Right. Jeni Yelton: You're not broken. But you're not perfect. So we have flaws. We we all have flaws. And part of the empowerment is knowing what those are, being open, honest and transparent, but not to hold yourself back from them, but finding a way to use them. in a way that makes an impact, that makes a difference because at the end of the day, that's what's going to measure success. Joe: Wow, that's a mindset shift altogether. Now every successful entrepreneur has had a defining moment. So what inspire you to pursue this path? Jeni Yelton: You know, it's interesting because I I I loved corporate training and development, but I tell people who get into training and development to be careful because anytime organizations look at the budget, they see training and development as a nice to have. And that's that's really difficult because I think that most companies, I I I believe that most people, but even most companies and organizations want to make their employees perform well. They want to increase leadership skills, they want to do those things, but when they're looking at a budget, sometimes training and development is considered expendable. And after my third layoff from an organization, I thought, okay, what can I do to make an impact in a larger spectrum? So as an entrepreneur, I started to research, you know, is it consulting? Do I need to go out there and do some consulting? Do I need to out there and do coaching? And I did both of those things and and and enjoyed both of those things. But then there felt like there was a Purpose that was pulling me to do something different. And that's when I sat down and and wrote the book because I wanted to share the message. I want to disrupt performance management and do things differently within organizations so that they see the value of professional development. And it doesn't have to be training and development per se, but professional development encouraging growth and purpose within their organizations. That was probably my biggest transformation. For my own career. I I actually have a little story. I sat down trying to figure out, you know, what I was going to do, and my pen stopped working. And I looked at it and I'm like, got a little upset. I don't know if you've ever gotten upset at a pin, Joe, but it it's a moment when you just get upset at it. And I thought, you have one purpose. And that's when I realized I'm like, wait a minute, we spend all of our lives trying to think of our purpose and walking around wondering what we're here for. And then think it's a there's a simpler way to look at it. But if I can find a simpler way to look at it, how can I help people and organizations find a simpler way to look at purpose so that they can bring it into the organization, retain the employees that they need to, grow the performance that they need to, scale the organization from any size, from a mom and pop small operation all the way to a large organization? There's a something more than just getting somebody to work. It's getting somebody to work for fulfillment. Joe: Now you've had the opportunity to work with certain organizations or departments. Making that shift, that mindset shift that you're that you're bringing to them, is it something that people embrace immediately, or is this a long, laborious process to get them to make that shift? Jeni Yelton: That's a fantastic question. I would love to say that I could just hand them the thing that said, hey, find your purpose. And they would all just say, well, that's what we've been searching for the whole time. Most companies and organizations and departments want to see measurable results. They want to see numbers. They like the concept of people feeling fulfilled within their role, but it's harder to see the impact. But here's the sneaky part. It's the same thing with training and development, which is one of the reasons that training and development tends to be one of the first cut in organizations, is the ROI for performance measurements is hard to measure when you train somebody. But when I come in and I talk about change and training, it's more about transformation and real measurable impact. Where you can measure where people actually are performing better because they're they're adopting, they're implementing, they're motivated. The biggest failure in most organizations, and when I say most most, I'm talking like 99% of organizations, the biggest failure they have with change at all is forgetting about the employee part of the change. They focus so much on the process, they focus so much on the technology, they focus so much on you know making sure that all their SOPs are correct. They train their employees, but they never really motivate their employees for the change. And so they spend millions and millions of dollars trying to, and I've been a part of some of those transformations, trying to get people to adopt something, to throw it out and say, the problem is the system. Most of the time it's not the system. It's lack of interest in the people. And so when you start thinking about motivation, people are motivated by what benefits them. And that is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but it's the reality. In fact, if if I would not be surprised if my kids put this on my grave because I say it all the time. People behave in a way that benefits them. And that's just human nature, positive or negative. If they're doing something, they're doing it because they're either protecting themselves out of fear or benefiting themselves out of results and you know, some sort of success. It's not a bad thing. It's human nature. But organizations and even individuals themselves don't always reflect on that. So I wish it was an easy thing for people to do, but they have to be willing to invest in the idea of really defining their culture and their purpose all the way up the level. A lot of times organizations start with trying to fix their employees right where they are. The problem is they're not broken. You don't need to fix them. You need to shape the culture so that it is more aligned to a purpose, more aligned to a mission, more aligned to values, so that people all the way at the top, and it has to spill down. They have to see it working and being successful from every single level. And that's where it's often lost in scope, is because a lot of times senior leaders in the organizations, especially ones that have grown themselves, are so focused on. their role, their responsibilities. And they have a ton of responsibilities that they forget how much they influence, inspire the ones every level below them. Joe: Now, if one of our listeners wants to invest in themselves or in their department or their small business, can you share with us what that journey would look like working with you? Jeni Yelton: I've got several coaching clients that I'm working with that are really focused on their own development. Most of the time people come to me in periods of transition in their life. So either they're stuck and they can't seem to get out of their current role, like they they've applied for manager positions or they maybe struggle with executive presence or being seen. and so they come to me saying, you know, how can I get myself to the next level? others come to me and periods of transition when they're wanting to maybe own their own business. So they're working for a company and now they want to move into entrepreneurship. And and it's exciting. Entrepreneurship is super exciting, but there's pieces of it that aren't clearly defined. So I work with them on trying to really define, you know, their purpose and what they're trying to do to be really clear. Because my belief is, and this is with any level, if you can define your, your, your purpose at that that Third level, But overall, I work with people through that purpose idea of there's three levels of purpose. That first level is what you do, your tasks, it's that safety and security. It's the actual job. It's how much money you make, your drive or motor hybrid or if you're in the office, it's it's you know, where you can eat lunch. It's those main things, right? That just your day-to-day life. the second level of purpose is connection. And within yourself, it's the community of love and people that accept you for who you are within an organization, and this is what I work on with organizations, is defining what that looks like for a company and a culture within their organization. It means that you go into work and it's people you want to be around. It's an environment that you want. The problem is is that most companies and even people stop. There. That's it. They just look at that area and then they say, okay, well, that's good. My culture's good and I'm making enough money. Everything is fine. And they kind of work up to those two pieces. The third level of purpose is beyond yourself. It's really what is your gifts? What do you what do you value? What motivates you to get up every day? What are your what who do you're meant to serve? Who's supposed to get an impact from what you do? Here's the difference between those three levels that I work with with individuals. I work with in organizations and I work with with entrepreneurs is to really define this first instead of this first. Not how much money you gotta make, what kind of job you're going to do, but really defining that up that third level of who's going to be impacted, what does that look like? Because here's why. These two down here, how much money you make, your job itself, the tasks that you do, even the culture, are all externally driven, internally felt. And you can probably attest to the show where you had a great environment, you worked with some great people, you love it, and then your best friend left and suddenly everything changed in that culture. Or everybody got along and then a new person came in, and it they you even hear, the cancer joined our culture. So it's internally felt, but it's externally driven. And once it's externally driven and it's negative, then we go back down to the lowest level and say, are we making enough money? Do I even like what I'm doing? So most people that come to me are at that level of questioning, even all the way down to level one. The last level, you don't ever know because you just know within yourself it's all internal. It's internally felt and internally driven. So you know that what you're doing means something, it makes an impact, it delivers something, it leaves a legacy, it has some sort of a ripple effect. You may never see that measured. You may never see somebody come to you and say, because you did this. This is why I'm doing really well. You just have to know that you're doing something bigger than yourself. And I start here instead of here with people. I start all the way up here trying to figure out what their values are, what what and when I say values, you can have a hundred values, but there's usually only three, three that wake you up and motivate you every day. It doesn't mean the other ones aren't important. It just means that those those three that drive you. I help you figure out what those three are. I also help you figure out what. your gifts are. We it tend to devalue our gifts. We we any if we think we can do it, we think that it's too easy. And we don't really value it in ourselves and we don't always value it in others. And so we find out what are your natural gifts, what are you good at, what your capacity is, what you make an impact doing. And then who are you meant to serve? And usually it's somebody like you, it's somebody in your own culture, it's somebody that you want to help. But that's who you're meant to serve as an as an organization, as an individual, as an entrepreneur. And then we kind of figure out, okay, now where do you want to be and who do you want to be around? And how do you network if you're an entrepreneur? How do you make those connections and talk through that process and then down to what do you want to charge? What are the exact products that you want to offer? Or for an organization, you know, what do you want to pay? How do you want to do the compensation? So that it works down the the list. it feels more fulfilling because if you're up here and you're more aligned to this, then you can have that friend of yours leave and you're not gonna automatically jump down because you're already at a higher level up here, that you're not gonna feel it as much. Doesn't mean you're not gonna feel it. It just means that it you know that there's something bigger than this and then this through the process. Joe: Now, once you're hired by an organization, how do you deliver those different steps to making the transformation? Jeni Yelton: I use ADCAR as a framework for change and transformation. And I am pro-size certified. And you know, I'd always done change and transformation. I've always used the same process and the same thoughts. but now I I really leaned onto a measurable result, which comes back to our original discussion. Like, how do you see results? Well, ADCAR actually helps you do that because it does have measurements that are put into place throughout the process. So I use that. framework of AgCar starting out with awareness and desire, which is what do they know? Do they know why they need to change? Do they know why? What's the benefit? What's the benefit for them? Why are they motivated? And getting people on board, then determining those knowledge and skills that are right there in the middle and and abilities and what they need to improve on. And then finally, how do we measure it? How do they reinforce it? How do you continue it? One of the things I really find interesting in training development and this is probably it to me it's one of the things that frustrated me as a trainer and I think it frustrates employees and it really frustrates managers is people will go to a class and let's just pick a topic like time management because that's really one of the most common topics prioritization time management and they'll send somebody to class and say you need to improve on your time management. It'll be on their performance review, improve in time management. So they're ready. They know most people know. I need to learn to be better at my managing my time. So they'll come to the workshop and it'll be a great workshop. you know, I'm I try to make my workshop super engaging and fun and have people enjoy it. And they learn something, we talk through it, and then they go back to their desk and they don't apply it. And managers get frustrated and like, well, why does nothing change? Why doesn't anything change? It's because they really weren't motivated to manage their time. And they were and they almost feel like they're being beaten up for the same thing over and over again. And they have all the tools, they have all the resources. So what I do in that knowledge and abilities area in the middle is really address what the what they really need to learn and how they can manage through it. So I use this fatal flaw theory where and I've been teaching this for over twenty-five years, but I look at my flaws and I own and I then I say, Okay, they're flaws, but that doesn't mean that they're that they're They're impactful in a negative way. Sometimes a flaw can actually lead to a gift in another area. But I look at these flaws and I say, okay, is it fatal? Is it fatal to my career, fatal to my organization, fatal to my health, fatal to my relationships? If it is, I don't really fix it. I try to manage it. So that's what I work with companies to do is to say, okay, instead of looking at what is a flaw for an individual employee, look at and see is there a way we can manage it and measure success on what makes impact. instead of what's a performance competency measurement, comparing them to somebody else. That's where we go through the process of of looking at, you know, transformation, not just training. Joe: Now, would you be able to share with us a success story where you've seen the most transformation in in organizations you've worked with in the past? Jeni Yelton: it's probably one of my my my favorites. And like I said, I you know I I don't I I really have understood what my third level is for a long time. I had to define it, but I I do understand it. And my third level purpose is that I take complex ideas and simplify it in a storytelling way that people can understand it, use it, apply it, and transform. That's my purpose. And so I've been doing that my whole career and and not, you know, I don't expect to get other than good ratings in a training class, I don't expect that, you know, somebody's gonna come back to me 10 or 15 years later and say, because of you, this happened. But I have had that happen. And it's it's it's it's so amazing and fulfilling for myself to see somebody else be successful. So An example that I think, and I know that she would be okay with me sharing, was an was an employee at an organization that I was working with and I was coaching one on one who kept applying for jobs. And when I say applying for jobs, I just mean if a job came up, she applied. And it it and it was really out of desperation. She knew she wasn't happy where she was. She knew she had more to give, but she really couldn't figure out what it was. And when by the time she came to me, it had probably been about four or five times that she had been declined for an opportunity. And when we sat down and we started to really talk about what her gifts are, what her skills are, what makes her fulfilled, she started to really look at not only what she wanted to do, but why she wanted to do it, the impact she could make, the difference. And instead of just trying to get out of that desperate, I need to do something else, she really figured out like, Who she wants to serve. And so she started to be more in line and building skills and things that actually she was already good at, but because become a master of, because that's my the way I think development should be is that you should look at your gifts and spend more effort and time on those and developing those. And so that's what she did. And some of it ended up being kind of a culture thing for her as well. But she left the organization and she is just she I she has moved up in different organizations, but she's always moved up with confidence, clarity, and at and intention, which to me is really what it's about. The funny thing is, is that she thought she wanted to be a leader. And I think leader is a was a wonderful job and a perfect place to be. But she was stuck on that was her only path. But when she started to really figure out who she was, how she wanted to make influence, she realized that she wanted to be a leader by influence. Not a leader by manager. And I think that's not easy for some people to realize that there's different paths that you can take by really unpacking it and kind of understanding who you are and who you're meant to serve and making decisions by intention with confidence and clarity, your your path becomes clearer. You feel like you're making the right steps forward. And she is probably one of my biggest cheerleaders. She She talks about me to everybody, refers people to me. And this is somebody that I've now known for 15 years. And this conversation started like five years ago. Now I have other stories of like that. And I have stories within organizations where I've seen culture and shifts change in organizations. I've been very fortunate in my career to enter in organizations where there really wasn't employee training and development and helping shape a culture of development within an organization and seeing. the accolades that those organizations have received for the type of training and development cultures that they have now. but her story is one that just makes me smile and makes me know that I'm on the right path in this journey. Joe: Now, without getting too deep into your processes, would you be able to share one quick way to at least identify one of your own gifts? Jeni Yelton: Yeah. So it's actually I love that. It's one of the things that you think is really easy and other people have noted you for is a good way to do that. Like you think about you you may have not even recognized it at the very quickly there's a story in my book about me walking through a Renaissance festival. I used to do Renaissance festivals a long time ago and I'm pretty crafty. Like I, you know, I'm kind of creative and kind of crafty. And I would walk through the Renaissance Festival and I wouldn't buy anything I thought I could make. Isn't that weird? Like i I if I could make it, I didn't seem to value it as much. And here's the funny part. I never made any of it. Now I buy the stuff to make it, but I never actually would make any of it because I really didn't have the capacity or time to do the work for it. But in my head, if I could do it, I didn't value it. That was a huge light bulb moment for me. And so One of the things I tell people to do when they're starting to figure out their gifts, and there's a lot of different tools that you can use. You can use things like like a disc profile, you can use strength finders, you can use there's a lot of I and I have a tool within within my book and also within my like companion guide to my book, like a self-reflection tool to help really identify your gifts. And I do that when I coach people. But one of the quick and easiest ways is think about things that are you've just always been known for. It's easy for you. So like one of my gifts is flexibility. I've all I don't tend to get upset if something changes. I'm pretty adaptable to changing and fixing things and not getting frustrated with the unknown. that's a gift. Now it can be a flaw to other people. And so that's where you have to understand that some gifts could be flaws in certain situations, but being aware of it is the first step. Joe: Absolutely. Jeni Yelton: So what do you think your gift is, Joe? Joe: you know, I don't know, I guess listening. Now Jeni Yelton: That is a gift. Joe: if listeners remember only one thing from today's conversation, what do you hope that message is? Jeni Yelton: It's what I said exactly to you when we started. You're not broken. Stop beating yourself up, trying to be something that you're not meant to be. We get off that hamster wheel you know, of trying self-improvement. I am all about growth and learning. Never will I say you shouldn't look for opportunities to always learn, grow, try new things, experience life. You only got one time on this rock. So do that, enjoy it. But do it because you want to do it. Do it because it's going to make an impact. Don't do it because you feel like you have to be somebody or not. So that would be if I if I want anyone to remember anything about what I say, what I believe, is that you're not broken. You're not perfect either, but you're not meant to be perfect. But you don't have to fix yourself. You just need to find a way to be confident with flawed Joe: I love that. Now, where can our audience connect with you? Learn more about your work and continue this conversation. Jeni Yelton: Thank you. I well I I do I try I do speak on stages and I look for opportunities to to be able to speak on a stage, talk to, you know, your organizations, or you know, do some speaking and like events and industry group things. And I have a couple of those events that are on the radar for the next couple of months. I'm looking forward to. you can also go to jennyyelton.com, which does have my like speaking page, but it also has a little bit about my coaching. other pieces, purpose-driven solution is the is the business side of like my coaching and consulting piece as well. And then I am the chief people officer for CANSUT, which is a consulting organization, and they are one of we we align in so many ways. I'm excited about being a part of you know their organization and helping them bring consulting and different opportunities to organizations, especially as they're shifting cultures. making transitions, scaling, transformation. That's a big part of what cancel does. But I think if you just go out and buy my book, it is on Amazon. It's confidently flawed. I would love for people to read it. I I actually have in there a place for you to give me some feedback about, you know, kind of the flaws you're working on. I'm I'm starting working on my second book right now that's really geared towards organizations and how they can start leading confidently flawed. In their teams and in their organization and their culture and their environment. So that would probably be the best right way to reach out to me. And I'd love to hear from your listeners. Joe: Now Jeni, thank you so much for joining us and we really appreciate your time. Jeni Yelton: it's such a joy to meet you. It's and thank you for bringing me on and allowing me to share my message. it's it's some important for us to realize that we are good enough. We're we're we're here who we're supposed to be. There's only opportunities for improvements and making an impact. Joe: Thanks everyone for listening. If this episode inspired you, make sure you share it with someone who needs it. And don't forget to follow the Glovisor Podcast for more conversations that make an impact. Till the next time.