Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Senseless Survey: Does it surprise you that 99% of yoga pants have never been to yoga?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go.
- 0:03Speaker 2: Here's another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM
- 0:08Speaker 2: Mornings KF in mornings.
- 0:10Speaker 3: All right, gather around, let's see how you do. Okay,
- 0:14Speaker 3: very important questions for the sake of the nation, as
- 0:19Speaker 3: you hear all the time. How many will I ask
- 0:22Speaker 3: this morning? Sherlin Barnes will start with you.
- 0:26Speaker 4: Thirteen questions thirteen such so good, so good? Since twelve
- 0:31Speaker 4: question twelve of fantastic REMI is conn ten question ten questions, Yeah,
- 0:38Speaker 4: that's okay, produce a bread.
- 0:42Speaker 1: Eight very cold, people had time, very cold?
- 0:49Speaker 3: Eleven a little bit warmer.
- 0:52Speaker 1: Actually you were right. Oh they look at you life.
- 1:00Speaker 3: I couldn't hold onto it for long, you see, I
- 1:01Speaker 3: had it. I had it town remis. Yes, do you
- 1:05Speaker 3: want I'll give you some tickets right now? Do you
- 1:09Speaker 3: want tickets to Chicago being already did you?
- 1:15Speaker 5: And a great show I've heard fantastic?
- 1:17Speaker 3: Do you want tickets to Soul's sister Judy Boucher?
- 1:22Speaker 1: That's an option?
- 1:24Speaker 5: Mm hmm, that's a hot ticket.
- 1:25Speaker 3: Yeah, ok next to work or you're left to be
- 1:30Speaker 3: there anyways.
- 1:31Speaker 4: Uh.
- 1:32Speaker 1: Brian Adams, go on choose now.
- 1:35Speaker 5: Okay, you've got options Boucher and Brian Adams.
- 1:39Speaker 1: No they're not together, but I know but between those two, yeah,
- 1:44Speaker 1: must get both. Okay, I'll give you singles for each.
- 1:51Speaker 3: You can have your own bachelor's party.
- 1:55Speaker 5: So every now and again, from this great idea.
- 2:00Speaker 2: And someone who looks for single tickets often sometimes they
- 2:04Speaker 2: don't even sell those.
- 2:06Speaker 5: Do you know that?
- 2:07Speaker 2: Yeah, so they want you to kind of almost buy
- 2:11Speaker 2: tickets too at a time next to each other obviously.
- 2:14Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll be the only like gar By himself at
- 2:17Speaker 3: Soul Sister. But but like for my my comedy show,
- 2:21Speaker 3: wackets all start Comedy Jam happening next month at the
- 2:25Speaker 3: Grand Arena. So both nights are sold out. But the
- 2:29Speaker 3: one night, we have eight tickets left, but they're all
- 2:34Speaker 3: it's all single. Yeah, so one year, one day, one
- 2:39Speaker 3: day of which you would you'll never sell.
- 2:42Speaker 2: So I wish those people would actually find each other
- 2:44Speaker 2: if they do buy those.
- 2:45Speaker 1: Tickets, and I need more people like you.
- 2:47Speaker 3: REMI No, I'm not a single by a single.
- 2:52Speaker 1: Okay, maybe I don't know.
- 2:55Speaker 3: Okay, so we'll shut it down on the WhatsApp telephone.
- 2:59Speaker 3: Here is this onrning senseless survey. Good morning, harmor't you
- 3:06Speaker 3: Good morning sir?
- 3:07Speaker 1: Imagine five one two two two.
- 3:08Speaker 3: I'm calling you from the senseless bureau ac stud to
- 3:11Speaker 3: ask you a couple of questions for your country. Don't
- 3:12Speaker 3: take you about thirty seconds.
- 3:14Speaker 5: It's nice, all right, get under So.
- 3:18Speaker 3: Snakes are more scared of you than you are of them,
- 3:21Speaker 3: so they say so. If that is the case, do
- 3:24Speaker 3: you think they also have nightmares of humans crawling into
- 3:27Speaker 3: bed with them?
- 3:32Speaker 5: How can I see you? You can see?
- 3:34Speaker 3: Yes? Does it surprise you that ninety nine of yoga
- 3:39Speaker 3: pants have never been to yoga?
- 3:43Speaker 5: Yeah?
- 3:45Speaker 1: Our teeth just a retaining wall for spit.
- 3:52Speaker 3: Yeah. Are you hoping to someday be rich enough for
- 3:56Speaker 3: someone to fall in love with you for your money? Yeah?
- 4:04Speaker 3: Have you ever wondered how often you turn up in
- 4:08Speaker 3: other people's dreams?
- 4:09Speaker 1: You know, for all that weird stuff?
- 4:16Speaker 2: Yes?
- 4:18Speaker 1: How many kilometers do you think your thumb has scrolled?
- 4:26Speaker 1: Have you noticed?
- 4:27Speaker 3: Wearing a boat is a classy way of saying no
- 4:31Speaker 3: thanks to sex.
- 4:35Speaker 1: No, you don't see.
- 4:37Speaker 3: Is, with all due respect, a nicer way of saying
- 4:41Speaker 3: you're an idiot?
- 4:46Speaker 2: I'm not too sure.
- 4:47Speaker 3: If money can't buy happiness, why do all the people
- 4:50Speaker 3: in expensive restaurants look so happy. Yeah, do you know
- 4:58Speaker 3: that everyone you see is the result of an orgasm?
- 5:02Speaker 1: Oh, think about that for a second.
- 5:11Speaker 5: An innocent citizen. What a journey it always is here.
- 5:16Speaker 2: A good kind man, you can tell bothered by a brankster.
- 5:20Speaker 3: But all questions profound yet true. Yes, Like like ninety
- 5:30Speaker 3: percent of all yoga pants never see a gym.
- 5:32Speaker 5: Yeah that is that is spot on. I own a
- 5:35Speaker 5: pair who've never seen the inside of a yoga student
- 5:38Speaker 5: and they probably never will. Will they be worn absolutely,
- 5:41Speaker 5: just not to that journey.
- 5:44Speaker 6: You've got yoga pants? Possibly they just leggings legs right.
- 5:50Speaker 6: Their lifestyle, We run errands. We might not be running
- 5:54Speaker 6: on the treadmill, but we are active.
- 5:56Speaker 5: Active.
- 5:56Speaker 2: We'll be just like walking a lot in them, you know. Yeah,
- 6:00Speaker 2: going to be doing stuff in the day like that.
- 6:02Speaker 3: See, I say, profound yet true. The Senseless Survey