Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Hayden Johnson Disobeys Bridger

Transcript

Hayden Johnson Disobeys Bridger · I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: But I invited you here. I thought I made myself
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: you're our presences. Presence enough. I already had too much stuff.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: So how did you dan to surbey me?
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts, I'm precher Wineger. We're
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: here in the studio. It's another seven pm recording. Nothing
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: can ruin my good mood unless even the smallest thing
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: goes wrong. So we'll just see how this all unfolds.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you what I'm flying.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I went.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I had one of my classic five thirty PM dinners
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: alone at In and Out, And while I was there,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: a little girl told me I look like a beautiful doll.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Everyone needs to recognize that I'm a beautiful doll. I
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: need more people spreading the word that I'm a beautiful doll.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: I thought that was very nice of her. She didn't
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: have to tell me I was a beautiful doll. And
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: so now I'm I mean that'll carry me for weeks.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: So thank you, little girl. And is there that's the
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: big news in my life? Is there anything else happening?
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I don't I watched the documentary about the guy who
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: crashed the cruise ship. That was dark. That's another reason
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: not to go on a cruise. I didn't realize. I'm
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: not getting into the cruise right now. That's a tough situation. No,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I think that's about it. We have Patreon, you know,
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: patreon dot com slash. I said, no gifts. It's just
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: a I mean, it's heaven on Earth. Everyone's there having
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: the time of their life. I'm having the time of
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: my life. We have bonus episodes, you know, the whole thing.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Get over there, join us. We're we're having a great time.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: And that's it. I think we should get into the podcast.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: I love today's guest. It's Hayden Johnson. Hayden, welcome to
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: I said, no gifts.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Thank you that you didn't segue by saying, and here's
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: a beautiful and speaking of beautiful.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Dolls, See, this is why you should host it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: It feels almost pointed to me. So I we're starting
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: with animosity.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: There's only one beautiful doll in this room.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: That's right. Well there are too, there are two.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Wow. See I'm heading the keys to you.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, just take you don't have to you don't
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: have to. We can both. We can be like one
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: of those little you know how people collect those little
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: sets of porcelain like babies.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: We can both kind of be a different baby.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: The little like the little angel things you'd buy a
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Hallmark Precious.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Moments, Precious Moments.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: We are a couple of pressure moments.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Change the name of the podcast Precious Moments.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a really good I didn't know what
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: to do with the beautiful doll information other than to
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: just what a sweet thing for a child to say that?
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: It is really really sweet. I feel like, is it
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: I want? I mean, I'm not. I don't want to
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: guess as to why.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did not. I didn't ask for details. Let's
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: just leave it. Yeah, it's a doll.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: That's incredible. And then my question about the man who
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: crashed the cruise ship.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, did you watch this?
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know about this. I assume you mean the Titanic.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I refer to the Titanic as the cruise ship.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: You guys, hear about this cruise ship that went down.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: That you never really called the Titanic was a cruise ship.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: I guess yeah.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: I think we just need to say it. It was
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: a cruise ship like a carnival cruise.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't know if there was a
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: pool on deck. I like to imagine there.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Was a water slide. Yeah, could go kart track.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: It's sad to think that they maybe didn't get that
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: before the big crack.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Right, the Titanic was kind of worse than a carnival cruise.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Let's be honest.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, I would rather be on a
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: carnival cruise.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: It was a bad cruise line.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I would feel like really bad. I mean, being a
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: man on the Titanic, I imagine, is really tough, and
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I imagine like the worst like trans woman like closet
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: trans people to ever exist were the people who realized
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: that because they had not transitioned before the Titanic went down,
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: that they wouldn't be able to get into the boat
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: and that they would then die, which I think is
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: a beautiful lesson for people.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Maybe the most selfish thought you could possibly Wow, but
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: that's true. Yeah, Wow, that's really interesting.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: If people were honest about who they.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Are or they could have gone on the boat.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: They could have gone on the boat.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: So do we say it serves them right, I don't know.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: I think so. Yeah. I think if you choose to
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: stay in the closet, you should should die round on
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: the Titanic with the captain or whatever.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Closeted people should be at the bottom of the ocean.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: I agree. I agree. You heard it here first.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Now this cruise ship. What I'm talking about is it
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: was like in twenty twelve, and it was in Italy,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: and I guess there were some people on an island
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: that an employee on the ship knew or his family
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: was there, and so he asked the captain, could we
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: get a little a little closer to the eye. No,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: the whole ship sank.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Well, but they weren't close enough to the island. They didn't.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: They shouldn't have split the difference. I don't think anything.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: They should have chosen me go all the way, go
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: all the way or far.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: If you can't see the family members waving, you aren't
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: close enough.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I guess that's oh, that's so sad.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And the documentary did not. They should have interviewed
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: the people that they were trying to get close to
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: and see what they thought about the whole situation.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: They shouldn't have told the family. I think I don't know,
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: they should have just been like, oh, I don't know,
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: the ship's still out there, something like that. If you
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: don't see people go down in a boat, you know,
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: I like to think that they're still out there kind
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: of triangling it somewhere.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: No, it's it seemed genuinely terrifying. I mean, the ship
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: has just flipped over and you're kind of falling off
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: the ship and the captain saying, we're not going down.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Do you feel like you could survive in a situation
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: like that?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: No, Okay, No, I think I would be out pretty quickly.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: Do you ever see one of the like that video
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: of like it's like the cook and the cook survived
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: because there was like the pocket of air and the
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: ship that sunk. No, and like divers found the cook.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: I think he was a cook. I'm not sure he
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: was in the kitchen, but like he's just like in
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: a pocket of air and he'd like survive for days
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: down there.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Wait, I think this guy might be on the cruise
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: ship I'm talking about.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: It might be the case. All I know is that
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: I really strongly believe I would be like that person
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: like that, I could be in a situation where everyone
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: else dies, but something really lucky will happen to me.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: There's something very special about it.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: There's something special about me. But God wouldn't let me die.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like I eventually it would
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: just feel so painful, you know, Like, I'm just like,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: if I get uncomfortable in any situation, I'm just like,
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: whatever ends this as quickly as possible.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Oh that's such a good point. I forgot about how lazy.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Oh no, and you start to think about, oh, I'm
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: getting hungry, and I'm like, for what.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I want to take a nap. I don't
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: want to be swimming anymore. Those they are all really
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: good points.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: The only thing that would keep me alive is like
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: the idea that I'd be able to get a book published.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Deal, Yeah people are doing that, and you could be
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: called like the amount of hours that you were down there?
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, probably probably forty eight hours.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Well wait, now I got a news magazine show that
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: you're running.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, and then you get like a TV
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: series and it's like but it's just one person. Yeah
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: that's good movie.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Have you been on a cruise?
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: I have not. I really want to you do well,
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: I want to do one of those one of those
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: gay cruises whatever.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Oh right, that you would actually perform on.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think that's like the only way that
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: I like being invited to something where it's like I
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: get to kind of prove that I deserve to be
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: there and then or like a gay guy party, at
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: least like a gay guy boat. I get to be like, hey, guys,
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: I'm fun, like, yeah, we like me, and then right
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: we go to the islands.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I wonder if I would even enjoy it
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: on that level.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: You've never done a cruise, I'm like.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: In high school, my family went on one. Okay, it's
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: just not for.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Me high school. Did you have like a like a
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: love affair with anybody?
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: No, I didn't have a love affair until I was thirty.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for asking that. It feels like
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: kind of a hot sexy place is on a ship.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Well, until you've been on one, okay, Yeah, then you
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: know it's like a Walmart.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, and I do see that that's a hot sexy place. Well,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: anything can be a hot sexy place. Yeah. I think
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: it's like summer camp in the sense that you're like
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: all kind of locked away, right and at which means
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: there are no rules, there are no laws, no laws
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: consenter otherwise. I'm sorry. I really started to pull myself
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: back from saying that, but I guess, I guess, yeah.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: I can't believe you didn't get molested on a christ ship.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Get that. I don't know. I'm gonna no, no, no,
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I can actually keep it in and keep it in.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: I'll double down.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Neither of us should ever go on a cruise.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: I don't think so. I think I should be banned.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: From all of them. You have immediately been blackless to
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: every cruise.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: If you search crews under in my name, it's gonna
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: be this conversation. Do not allow a board?
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, what's been going on with you?
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: You know tomorrow I'm going on tour. So I've been packing.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: What sort of packer? Are you? Like? An overnight thing?
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Or I try to take a small amount of things
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: because I really like being like mobile, Yes, but I
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: also want to take a lot. So I'm trying to
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: be really organized this time because it's like two weeks.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: But I am having trouble because of course I want
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: to bring like twelve dresses, of course, but that's that's
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: a lot of clothes, a lot of clothing.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Are you flying or driving?
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: I'm kind of doing both, Like I'm flying and then
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: I'm bussing and then I'm flying.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: You need to keep it small, yess.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I got to move around a lot, and I like,
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: you know something, I'm going to be like in cafes
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: and stuff with my luggage, I'm sure. So I got
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: to be able to like move it and move it around.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: So it's probably required a decent amount of planning.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: It has, you would think. I mean, I don't know.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: I went out and I bought little again the little bottles.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Oh sure, soap soaps and stuff. So that's like that's planning.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: It's like responsible, right, Yeah.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: I think so that's I never buy those of them.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I'm just like digging through the cover beneath my sink
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: the night before, just looking for half used things.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what I've done in the past, and
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: I kind of wanted it to be like pretty this time.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, make it a nice little thing.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: How do you pack as last minute as possible? Okay,
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: and I as small as possible because I will avoid
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: a baggage carousel at all costs.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, those are and they're like they're whipping that shit around.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Have you ever watched them put this stuff on the plane.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: It's crazy.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: They're throwing it harder than it has Like I get it,
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Like I wouldn't want to be doing that that either,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: but it is wild.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: It looks like they want to break.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they're trying to, which is like, you know,
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: power to the people, like I love I love the
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: workers and stuff. They should be allowed to do that,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: but I don't know, pay them better and maybe they right.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: We'll give them some tools to get it in there.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You ever see one of those like movie thing
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: they like move the thing little?
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Oh it's like a conveyor belt. Yeah, yeah, something like that.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: I think that's cool. Engineers are really awesome.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, engineers are making things easier.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: I really like that sat out engineers for re all.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I appreciate engineers because I'm not capable of building anything
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: on my own like that or like the idea of
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: creating a machine is so foreign.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you ever like build something for like your space,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Like you haven't.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I mean Ikia stuff and even that's like a massive
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: struggle for you.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but you've never like and like what if we
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: put up a banister.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, it would be a disaster.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I'm the third son in my family, and my dad
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: after I think after the first two sons, was like,
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not teaching anybody anything else. Yeah, and so I
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: was just the person who would just have to run
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: and get tools while they build things. Are your brothers
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: gonna yes, well one of them is, I think, yeah, yeah,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: are you going to go at building things?
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: I kind of, I mean no, but my ego is like, yeah,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: I was an eagle scout, so I too. Okay, night, Yeah, wait,
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: wait what did you do for your ecle product, because
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: this is famously one of the things that you kind
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: of they're like build, They're like build a fay.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't build anything. I collected clothes for a hospital,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Like after you. Some people are done at the hospital
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: don't have clothes to where so they would go and
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: get new clothes or whatever.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: That felt like something I was capable of doing.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: They and I'm I'm so sorry if this is offensive.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: They don't have new clothes to wear because they got
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: implants and now all their shirts don't fit no more.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: That's exactly I was finding sexy new outfits for people's
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: hot new bodies.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, hell yeah, I love that. That's a great ego project.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I would love to pitch that to the scaptical.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: So you know when girls kind of go and boys,
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: you boys kidding out BBL or whatever, they go in
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: and they get a hot, sexy new bad and non
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: binary people, non binary people can get a BBL or whatever.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: But you know, we get them like jumpsuits.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: We don't want them to look dumpy. Yeah, they paid
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: all this money, they.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: Made all this money, you want them to walk out
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: of the hospital looking dumpy. I did I think an
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: even gayer what I organized my high school theater's prop department.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Oh that's really sweet. That seems like a horrible project.
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: It kind of was, and I like developed like a
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: really strict organizational system, and then I was supposed to
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: like give it to my high school theater teacher, but
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: I just I got the I got the approval and everything,
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: and then I was like, ah, I was like abandoned that.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: So I think they're all marked still in my high
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: school theater. But I just like I never they have
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: like act six and I just never gave anyone the labeling.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: You didn't have the job, or it I did half
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: the job, so that's I moved all the stuff around
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: and moved the trees with the trees and the little
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: swords with the swords.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: And now some other are their scouts anymore?
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: I think so. I mean, I who knows. They started
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: in my when I got interviewed. They one of the
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: questions for me was like, do I think that women
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: should be allowed into the Scouts?
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, what a crazy question?
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: And that was like to evaluate me, and I was
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: like yes, and then they like pushed back on it.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: I was like, well, I don't know whatever. They were crazy.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: Scouts are crazy.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: It feels like a trick question where the answer should
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: be yes they should be, even if it's called the
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: boy Scouts, but fact that it's just like, oh, you're right,
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: they shouldn't. That's so crazy.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's It was wild. I don't know, asking a
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: child like yeah, asking like a teen boy. I mean
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: I was already gay, so I was like, yeah, I
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: would love I would love to get some girls in here.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: I imagine I'm already gay, and I'm like no, no, girls,
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: no girls.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: No. It was a kind of a nasty organization.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: It was they're kind of just prepping kids to like
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: be like highway patrol or military.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Totally, totally I think towards it, because I don't I
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: think it may have fallen apart. But it started to
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: fall apart because they started to be kind of inclusive
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: and they had kind of created their own monster that
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: was like, no, you can't we that's not our Scouts.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Didn't like pete hegseth or something be like oh, we're
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: gonna stop making the Scouts gay or like that was
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: sure they like, oh, because they like have like pronouns
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: and stuff. They were doing pronouns.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Such a waste of time.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Sorry. I was trying to make a non binary version
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: of the eagle, but I couldn't excel excel Scout.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Eglis.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: It was queer. I don't know about you, but like
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: we were playing magical gathering and kind of having.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Your Scout troop.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, we sensed delightful. We were really. I mean,
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: I think we were all kind of just like indoor
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: kids that our parents couldn't put us in sports.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Wow, but no. Growing up in Utah, it was like
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: it was very tied in with Mormonism. So I think
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: that the Mormon Church was like probably one of their
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: biggest damn contributors or something. So every boy did it,
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: and so then it was just kind of Scouts wow.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: And so it was the things you think about and
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: the things that I hated doing most of all. Yeah,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: and so I kind of just cheated my way through.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Someone watching me try to tie a knot is one
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: of the saddest things you can imagine. Yeah, I cannot.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I can barely tie my shoes. So the idea of
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: like me tying real knots.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, horrifying. Yeah. I was never good at that.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I was there anything you were good at within scouting?
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Not really. I mean I have I have one really
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: iconic memory where like the scout master was like interviewing
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: me to get my next rank, and part of the
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: interview he was like, you should never like allow yourself
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: to be alone in a room with like an adult
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: Scout leader by yourself, because of course they're having a
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: real problem with huge If we get to the end
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: of the interview and he's like, Okay, now do you
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: want to follow me back into the end of this room,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: and I was like yeah, sure. So I did kind
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: of fail. I remember failing the molestation test it's a molestation.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: H Yeah, I know. I trusted him. I thought he
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: was trying to stop me from getting molested, and I
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: brought molestation back into the conversation. I'm so sorry, but yeah,
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: I wasn't. I couldn't swim. That was a hard agle.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: I couldn't swim.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I couldn't swim. That's the one thing I kind of liked.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: When they made us swim in all of our clothing.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I felt so dramatic.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was crazy. I couldn't. I couldn't do it.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: It's hard, hard, it drags you down.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I remember like eleven year olds like passing
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: me while I was like fifteen, and it was embarrassing.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: If I liked camp, camp was fun.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Parts of it were fun for me and other parts
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: were bagony.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we could do skits around the fire. That's what
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: that's like.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: You're dream ofing on a gay cruise, Yeah, exactly, exactly.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: There's a reason I'm here.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: I see those things just almost the same, being a
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: boyscout camp, being on the gay Chris, Well.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: I think there is something else we should talk about.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: I've been trying to avoid the subject, but there's nothing
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: I can do. I was excited to have your here today, Hayden.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: But you know the podcast is called I said no gifts. Yes,
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: so I was alarmed when you kind of trotted into
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: the studio holding a gift.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Listen, I am just that kind of friend. When I
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: hang out with somebody one on one for the first time,
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: I refuse to show up without a presence.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine no one ever wants to hang out
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: with me a second time?
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I show up with a big gift box.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: Well, should we open this here on the podcast?
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: I think I think we might as well.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: All right, let's see here, what's in this gorgeous little
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: white bag with God knows where it came from?
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: I got well again, I don't want to I don't
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: want to sponsor any any particular brand.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Now, let's see is this tissue?
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: And I started, Yeah, that tissue And a lot of
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: people would say that it looks a lot like a
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: straighter Joe's bag that I rapped.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I like, I like a sustainable tissue.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wrapping paper is fucked up. I think I think
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: we should look into that. I think there's something bad
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: about that.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Someone's going to get to the way.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: We got a lot of other stuff going on right now.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: But when we get kind of like, I don't know,
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: sort of a better government going on, we should we
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: should look in a wrapping, move to the.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: Top of the link, okay, pulling in it.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, here you go, here you go.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Okay. It's a book called Warriors into the Wild.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's right, Aaron Aaron Hunter.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: And it's got kind of a common house cat.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, now, here's This is a book that I a
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: book series that I was deeply obsessed with all throughout
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: my child So I have many copies of this book.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: And this book is about cats that live in the
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: woods and work together, run clans together. And a lot
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: of people would say it's kind of for you know,
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: young adults and like mentally ill people. I'm gonna say
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: transgender people. But I back pulled it back of anyone.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: I feel anyone can sort of get into it.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Looks like there are six books in the series.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: There were six at the I think the time that
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: this book came out. I would say that now there
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: are probably upwards of fifty.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Now that's the sign of a quality book.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: You know, when people want to keep getting it deeper
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: into the lore, when it can sustain itself that long.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: So book has forty nine sequels, you know, if they
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: had the right idea.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, And here's the thing about Aaron Hunter is Aaron
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Hunter is actually like I think, like twelve women or something. Oh,
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: I like this, which is a team, very fun. Yeah,
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: and that kind of prevents a situation like a JK. Rowling.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: You know, you can kind of kick one out.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you can kick one out if they start getting
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: too crazy. You can kind of democratically decide who's worth
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: keeping in the warrior.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Kind of a great idea.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: I think. So. I think that's how everyone should write
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: books with eleven other women.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Then no one gets too much power. Yeah, exactly. I
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: mean JK. Rowling would be in a gutter somewhere.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: I think so. I think they would have kicked her
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: to the curb, see you later, and we could still
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: enjoy Harry Potter.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Could have kept the integrity a little bit more. People
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: would have been like, well, there was that one lady
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: that was involved, but that was years.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: Ago, exactly. Yeah, I wanted to find a Harry Potter thing.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: I had just been sent like a bunch of Harry
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: Potter memorabilia but I had growing up. But I think
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: I dumped it right before I got asked to be here,
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: and I could have given you just a box. Harry
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Potter hought you with that, Like you keep all these gifts, right,
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: you wear all these up in the studio, right, what.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Sort of stuff was in the box?
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: I was like Voldemort Swan and like I had like
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: the DVD's and I was a very Harry Potter. These
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: were my two obsessions, and Harry pot.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: And Warriors kind of came out on top.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean in a big way, because Cat's sort
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: of unproblematic.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Like they famously kind of a creature that can't really
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: do too much harm.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they decided that Harry Potter be easier
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: to make movies out of than Warrior Cats.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I feel like Warrior Cats. Is this feels like a show.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: That's and that's kind of what I'm using your podcast
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: A long. Yeah, I'm saying, hey, people have been trying
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: to get this show made for since I was maybe
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: nine years old.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Is that? I guess that probably is true? People the books.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, people loved this. It's sort of like Magic Treehouse esqueere.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: I think it had like a big following or like
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: box Car Children or whatever. Right, But this is I
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: think nicher and cooler.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: And kind of more for the general. Everyone can get
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: on board with this idea. Everyone everyone loves cats, right,
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: It's kind of.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: Feels like Lord of the Rings with cats, you know,
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: like it's got such a lord, it's got such a world.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: And so I think it could be an incredible HBO series.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: If we're gonna do the Harry Potter one, we should
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: do the Warriors one.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Well, you should option the book, get it going, I
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: think so.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: I don't. Well, I know you're a big Hollywood person.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: They haven't really quite let me in yet. So I'm
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: hoping that maybe you can bridge. You're huge. I mean,
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: I know you to be a big Hollywood I'm a
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: mover in Shakoa. Yeah. Well you kind of came into
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: the office today. You were in a big shuit. You said,
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: I just came here from.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: I just got offset.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: I just got Yeah, I just got offset. I'm here
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: from CBS Spot. No, I don't know where do Hollywood
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: people go. What's that club that they all go to,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: Club Hollywood. You just came from Club Hollywood the Chateau Mama.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Have you been there?
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: No?
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: I haven't, So I haven't been let in yet.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Anyone can go there. I didn't want to go. A
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: friend but was having like a kind of an ironic
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: birthday brunch and I dragged my feet all the way. Wow,
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't even order food. I was so annoyed.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: And that friend did, Jennifer Lopez, Sorry I did. I
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: was like, who's the most famous Hollywood person I could
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: think of?
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: It's an ironic shadow.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: You're a big Hollywood person. I know this, I know this.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, so this is a I'm actually curious. I feel
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: like I can get sucked into kids books like this.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: Still they're really fine. I like, I reread it and
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: it is like fun and it's easy to read.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Right, that's a nice feeling.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: All the books they make for adults are so hard
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: to read.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: They require critical thinking, yes, concentration.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Like we layered in every like it's not just kind
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: of simple metaphor. It's like so many different layers. But
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: there are beautiful things in Warris. Like what so they
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: have four clans? Right, they have Thunder Clan, River Clan,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: Wind Clan, and Shadow Clan. Now guess which one's the
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: bad one? Certainly not Shadow, It couldn't be Shadow, But
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: like that see that's easy to understand.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: I go, okay.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: And then they have star Plan, which is where all
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: the ancestors go. Oh, I like that, and it's beautiful
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: because the ancestors have no effect over like the world,
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: but they kind of influence it with their It's a
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: very ancestor theology in the way like they did good
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: things or bad things in life, and they continue to
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: influence other cats.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Just radiate the vibe at them.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there are a lot of good video essays about this,
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: and I'm doing a poor job at describing it. About warriors, yes,
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: oh wow, people really like these.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I cannot believe. I've never I mean, they could have
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: found a slightly more interesting name for the series.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: Cats in the Woods cat Warriors, cat Warrior. I mean, yeah,
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: well people say warrior cats because I think warriors just
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: it evokes a different image, right, not of a housecat
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: that goes into the wilderness and finds a tribe of
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: a cast.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: So are there human beings in this book? Not?
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: Well, okay, there are, but they are like sort of
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: just really only exist in the context of like they
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: own house cats, which they call kittie pets book, and
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: they call the humans two legs again easy stuff to understand.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: It's awesome. But sometimes the cat the people will like
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: be in a bulldozer and try to like tear down
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: the woods. Oh, then they like ring into play, but
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: like usually they keep them at a distance. It's mostly
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: cats stuff.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, and fifty books and.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: Fifty books of cat stuff.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Have you read every one of them? No?
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: I mean I think I like, I should, I should
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: get back into it. But there are so many and
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: they have like affairs, they are like, oh, they're like
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: pregnancies and that's and affairs. And wow, it's really beautiful.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: It's really good.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: And cats have quite a few kittens. That's a lot
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: of new characters introduced.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I mean it kind of keeps going. I
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: mean I think now all the characters from the original
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: book are like dead.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean I hope so at this point.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but so they just keep building.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: The right the law. Do you have a cat?
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: I don't. Well, I grew up with fifteen fifteen. Yeah,
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: tell me about that. My dad had a bunch of cats.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Oh did you like them? You know at the first three?
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Surely, I think that's probably the typical story for most
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: of them.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: We have three. I really liked it, and then we
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: got three more and I was like, Okay, that's a
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: lot of cats. Oh right, and then I kind of
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: got out of control. Yeah, that's a lot of cats.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: But there was one the first cat that we had.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Her name was Aspen, and I loved ask.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Oh very cat. So you were still on board with cats.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Big time on board with cat right, I think I
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: just yeah, I've had so many and I like cat sitting.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Cats sitting screed.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, any sort of sitting is kind of the
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: ideal version of anything because it's not really your responsibility
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: in the end. You're just gonna have a nice time
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: with the pet. Yeah, and if it destroys something, it's
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: kind of not your fault.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, cats, I'm also like so anxious. I think
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: cats would be hard to like hang out, oh wow,
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: because they're like always running around and getting out. I
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: don't know when I cat said, I am constantly looking around,
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: like looking under stuff, being like the cat's still here.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Not being able to find a cat is the worst
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: fore you.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: It's so scary because you know that they can get
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: far away.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, and it happens like I cat sit for a
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: friend and at least once a time that I'm cat
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: sitting for her, I'm like, he got out because they're
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: so good at hiding.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: They're really good at hiding. They get in all the
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: little stuff. Yeah, Now imagine they go to war. Combine
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: these things, combine the combine what you know about cats,
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: and combine war, and that's a killer book. That's a
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: good idea, that's a Yeah.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: I wonder how, like does the publisher gather these twelve
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: people or you said just twelve women.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm probably exaggerating now, but it's like sex can
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: I doubled it, but like, yeah, I don't know how
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: that comes about.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Right. It's like, we have an idea cats, you know, book,
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: let's hire some people.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: Imagine you're out at a bar with your friends and
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: you're like, yo, we should write a book together. We
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: should write a kid's book together.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Anytime I see a book and it has two
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: authors on it, I'm immediately like something.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: One one person wrote this, the other person is addicted
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: to cigarettes or something. You know, it's like they have
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: something going on and so they were going to write
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: it and then they're like, let me bring in someone.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well I'm excited to let me read this back cover.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Fire alone can save our clan, honey. Okay, For generations,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: four clans of cats have shared the forest, but Thunder
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Clan is in grave danger. Shadow Clan grows stronger every day.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Jesus I know. In the midst of this turmoil appears
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: a house cat named Rusty. Sounds like a normal guy
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: who may turn out to be the bravest warrior of
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: them all. So he was leading a life that he
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: didn't realize was about to become something much bigger.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's a good story. It's good.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: That's something to everyone should remember.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: It's a lot of kids' stories. Yeah.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's like, oh, I have a terrible home life. Yeah,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: magic world.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: Magic world. It's a good formulae, I.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Mean for every kid, because essentially every child, even if
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: they don't have the worst home life, just doesn't like
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: their parents.
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, all kids can get in. They're really
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: catching it on people not liking their parents and wanting
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: to be in a world of magic and.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: Literally anywhere else in their life in danger.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: Do you think that's like unique to the Western world,
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: that we have a lot of stories.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Like that right where, like maybe in other countries where
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: maybe family just dynamics are different. Yeah, that's a good question.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: Actually, Like we're so obsessed with being like, aren't you
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: a lonely loser kid that everyone hates? Don't you wish
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: you could get out? And then they kind of catch
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: cash in on that.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder, especially within the United States of the
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: also like you're really special. Yes, well that's more special
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: than everyone else.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: This is something I just been thinking about because I've
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: been watching more like Eastern films recently and like also
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: like anime and the way that they kind of handle
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: like a kid's story is like the power of friendship
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: will like get us through, And I feel like a
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: lot of our stories are like I alone, you don't
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: have the power, and I alone will survive. And I
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: feel like maybe that's bad.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: I think that maybe a bad mindset to have to
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: be the chosen one.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: I think. So, I'm sure someone's written like a thesis.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: I'm sure, but interesting.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe the children's publishing world should think about that.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean they're all friends in the Yeah,
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: this is an army of cats. This is an army.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: It's pro military.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and while in some ways, yeah, it's pro warrior.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: Certainly I give you this and like a Navy seal book.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Or whatever, you try to recruit me.
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I give you fucking unbroke. I can't remember remember
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: when any of those are calling.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm not the person to ask. Yeah, well,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: I'm very excited to have this. I might truly give
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: it a shot. I read do you know Jamie loftis? Yes,
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: she recommended Charlotte's Web a few years ago and I
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: reread it. Unbelievable book. I had such a good time
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: reading it. It was so heartbreaking and it's for kids, so
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: it's also you just blow through it.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: I can't recommend it enough.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: That's so interesting. Is it similar to the story that
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: I know? Because I don't think I ever read it.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: I think, which version? Do you know? Because there have
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: been several movies at this point, right, I know, I'm
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: trying to there's like the original, old, old animated movie.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: I think that must be it. I mean, I keep
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: getting Charlotte's Web in Babe confused. Oh sure, Charlotte's Web.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Charlotte's Web is more about the well, it's about the
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: spider saving the pig.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I think it is live action, the one
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: that I remember.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: Watching and I think Julia Roberts may voice the spider.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: She's a classics.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: Spider, she's a good spider.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: But I look at her, I think there's a spider.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're in the Hollywood offices when they lay out
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: a pile of images of women, and you go that one,
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: that one's the spider. I knew your Hollywood. I knew
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: you were Hollywood.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what we're talking about. Charlotte. Charlotte's
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Wonderful book, but it's probably similar enough to the movie
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: but way better.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I might get into it.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: I love I can reading like a few hours.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: I love a great story, you know.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: I listened to like podcasts like Myths to Go to
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: Sleep too. Yeah, any of these like myths.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: And Legends, No, I'm not familiar.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: I really like these. That podcast is great. And the
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: guy just like reads like a story but in its
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: like actual context, like not in whatever disnified.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Oh sure, right right.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: I just listened to Robin Hood.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, good story, cool story. So he's just kind of
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: reading the original as close to the original version as
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: he can find.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of. And they're like more fucked up and weird, right,
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: which I think.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Is interesting much more interesting.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: You know, it's not like a fox, right. I mean,
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: Robinhood was a guy.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: He wasn't a fox.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: He was not a fox.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, well I think we should play a game. Okay,
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: we might play two games here. We're gonna first play
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: a game called invite list and God, the order of
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: operations on this podcast is totally falling apart. Elis. First
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: of all, I just do you have anything to recommend
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: or promote?
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: They got shows probably around when this comes out in
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: Austin and Dallas. So and then I'm I'm doing a
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: show in Partland that's like raising money to like get
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: trans people to like say for states. Fantastic and so
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: you know, check that out. That'll be on my on
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: my Instagram as well.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Listener, go find hate and wherever she is, Yeah, find
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: me find her on Instagram and then go from there. Yeah, honey,
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: And people need to go see live comedy people do.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to kick up a monthly show right now.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: I think that would be really fun.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be fun.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: People aren't doing those right now.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: It's a tough time for live entertainment.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: It is. I wonder if that has anything to do
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: with the five of the world everything else. I think
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: it is fine.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: So I don't know why people aren't doing these fun things.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: I think we're specifically getting your hit quite right.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: But yes, what's your Instagram handle?
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: Underscore Hayden, Underscore Johnson.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: H A Y d N.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: That's right, very good.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: I'm looking out for you and the listener here. Ok
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: I'm very generous. Okay, We're going to play a game
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: called Invite List. I'm going to start naming a list
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: of celebrities. You get to decide who's invited and who's
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: not invited. Okay, when you get to ten, that's the party. Okay,
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: does that make perfect sense?
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah? And I'm going to reveal before we get started
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: that I'm bad at selet pretty, so.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Don't make it even more fun.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, great, great, great?
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, So just say invited or not invited? Okay, and
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: you can say why if you want to.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Bruno Mars, Oh damn, isn't he Is he like
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: in trouble? Is he like in trouble for being like
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: too rich? Did he like become a billionaire or something?
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Bruno Mars. I don't think so.
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: I feel like he did something bad, but I can't
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: remember what it is. So he's going to be invited.
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: I love the songs. That's getting fun. Okay, Kelly Ripper, No,
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: because again I'm not that's familiar. I can't quite place
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: Skelly Ripper.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: You won't have much to talk about. Then, great, Cindy Laupper.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: Cindy Lapper can come, that'd be great.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Tyra Banks.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: Fuck, so I want it to be the last party
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: I ever have. Yeah, but yeah, gets yeah, I get
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Tiger in there. I have to bring the hot ice cream.
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Lisa vander Pump oh fuck, oh yeah.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm bringing Tyler and Tyrone and go on.
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: Let's yeah, it's gonna be I'm a bad party.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: The location is in Hell.
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I've created a nightmare plan rotation.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, Lance Bass, Yeah yeah, Lynce pass Is he's the
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: gay one. Yes, he's the gay one. And just letting
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: you know that's five wow?
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: Five wow? Am I am I too agreeable? No?
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: I think you're I think you're creating a real uh
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: and energy for a particular type of party.
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't think that I'm gonna get along great
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: with anyone. I felt the most confident about Brno Mars
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: so fIF you can believe it. But again, I feel
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: like he did something and I can't remember one of those. Okay.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: So Lance bass Is, yes, Lance pass Is, yeah, okay,
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Michael B. Jordan, oh hell yeah?
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: So okay, great, So everyone, So my house will be destroyed,
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: but I will be doing something in in my own
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: personal room. Yeah.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: The chaos will take care of itself. Yeah yeah, yeah,
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: Well then you can take care of yourself.
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: I've engineered such a chaotic party that Michael B. Jordan
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: will turn to me and go, wow, you're so normal
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: and relatable. I wonder if baby which kids?
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, Ryan Murphy.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: No, No, I don't. I can't.
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: I don't want my party to become a horrible little show, okay,
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: George Clooney.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: God, I no. I just don't think that anybody's going
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: to be able to entertain. I don't think that I
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: think he's going to feel it's going to feel awkward
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: to have him there. Right.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: You can feel him wanting to leave.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: I can feel him wanting to leave. Terrible need this
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: party to go until.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Mark Kamaron.
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: No A.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: Lissa Lou Yeah, yeah, she's I mean, she would be
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: kind of the hot name of the party.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: I think so.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Tiffany Trump, Oh my god, with her fucking golf
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: clubs and that's the one, right, Like what you doing
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: with golf club one? Kids like the youngest, But no,
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: I think she's probably secretly like sixty five. I think
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: she is the youngest. That's not the boy.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah okay, yes, yeah, no, well, no, she can come
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: to the party. Yes, I have placed who she is.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: I mean she can like be outside, she could be outside.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: She can part cars, she can part cars.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: She could be my valet.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Tiffany Trump taking people's cars around the block. Yeah, okay.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: Willie Nelson, Oh.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: Hell yeah, Willie Nelson can come. Well, now I'm gonna
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: have to dream three my dream threesome with Michael B.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: Jordan and then Willie Nelson. I can't believe that you
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: locked in that with me. Gail King, Yeah, Gail can come.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: I think Gail would like keep it toget, like if
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: I'm off having my threesome. I think Gail can kind
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: of keep keep it like like things aren't going to
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: get too bad with Gail. I feel like otherwise it
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: might get a little bit out of hand.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: I can get super messy because you'll feel it a
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: little bit like a responsible adult.
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah. Everyone else is kind of maybe drama.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: But Gail is sort of like, I've been to space.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been. I've been to space. And you saw
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: It's nine just so you know, you saw when Gail
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: was like, oh this isn't like Gail did go to space.
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: But the whole time she was kind of like, I
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: don't know about this. She did not want to be
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: in space, in space, and I think that's much how
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: she would feel about this party.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: Okay, Andrew Garfield fucking spider Man.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Oh I don't need I don't need spider Man. There,
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: Fiona Apple, Yeah, Apple can come and then late late
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: at night.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Oh that's a great she pulls up late.
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah, and then she's, you know.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Just brings kind of a cool energy.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's getting serious and I'm cuddling up against William
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: Michael b.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: That's a perfect list.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's the perf. Is that the best
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: anybody's ever done? Do you score thing?
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: I think that's the best. That's an A plus. Okay, great,
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: you really like there are really two halves to that party,
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: which I appreciate.
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I you know, you do
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: need to think about that. Who's going to be doing,
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: what's going to be going where?
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: You just have to have some people that are creating
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: something for everyone to talk about.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: I agree.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and to kind of force Willy and Michael into
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: your clutches.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's well, that's why I need like Fiona to
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: show up, you know, like I kind of need there
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: to be a bit of chaos happening with Lisa and
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: who else? Who else was I had Lyra Lisa? They're
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: kind of fighting, and then I am like, wow, that's.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: Crazy, right I invited them?
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so sorry. I swear to God I didn't
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: invite them. But do you want to go upstairs and
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: check out my bedroom? And this scenario I imagine I
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: have the house with it up the stairs.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: You and Michael helped Willy up the stairs, Ully.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: Up the stairs, and then Michael Fox means, well, Willy
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: smokes a big joint.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: It's your threesoid.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: I'm envisioning. Okay, we're gonna play one more game. This
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: is called Gift to a Curse. I'm going to name
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: three things. Okay, you'll tell me if there are a
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: you if you're right or wrong because there are correct answers.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Great and these are all from our Patreon listeners today.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: This is from Christy. Gift or a curse running errands
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: with wet hair.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna say a gift because when I do it,
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: I do feel that I'm I look kind and like
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: I'm kind of it's kind of like I just came
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: out of like a set where I got rained on
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: or whatever. You know. I think I make it look
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: good and cheat right, correct, Okay, that's a gift. Great.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: It makes you feel busy, busy, busy. Yes, it's like
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm just I'm doing it all.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. Right, I just came from a rain
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: storm and now I don't know why I'm obsessed with
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: it not being from the shower.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: The machine was dumping water on camera's role.
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I was just doing a bikini shoe and
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: at the end I had to jump into a pool.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: Did you then you had to go to the post office.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was at the chat to my moan and
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: then I had to go to the post office get
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: your try cleaner.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. Number two this is from a listener
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: named Zara Gift a curse. Candles that smell like tomatoes.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: This is from Zara They retailer is kind of written.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: Okay, candles that smell like tomatoes, I'm gonna say cursed.
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: I don't want my house smelling like Marinera. That's my
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: catch phrase. I don't want my house smelling like Marinera
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: at your real housewives, I don't want my house smelling
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: like Marinera.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: The way people would be confused.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: I think people are really confused.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: What's this lady's story?
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: My couches are too white to eat a big bull
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: of pasta?
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: All right, uh curse? Yeah, I absolutely agree. I think
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: there we know what the traditional candle scents are at
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: this point. Yeah, why in the world would you want
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: your house to smell like tomato and actually tomatoes like
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: famously the thing you get skunk smell out with.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so it's kind of like opposite end. But
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: like also it's extreme.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very extreme. I think we've pushed it too
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: far with some of these sins. That's a curse.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: This is from Cameron Gift a curse. People who are
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: weirdly proud of their ability to lucid dream.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: Oh. I think that's a curse because I just don't
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: think that you need to be doing all that, Like
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: that's so oh even when I'm sleeping, I need to
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: be doing stuff. Relax, turn it, turn it. Yeah, you
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: don't need to be in charge of your dreams. That's
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: maybe the one nice thing that you kind of have
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: to just be like, Oh, I wonder what that means.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: You want to avoid yourself of any kind of deeper meaning,
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: you know, there's nothing to talk to all fortune tell
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: her about if you go, that's like grindset to me.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just you're never away from the job.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I lucid dream, and then I dream that I'm
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: at the computer and I'm crunching.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Numbers and I'm on one of the prediction markets.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, none of that.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: Can you lucid dream?
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: No? I remember, I think I like tried to for
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: a bit that I couldn't. I couldn't figure out how
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: to do it.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: And likewise I didn't really have the the discipline.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: Same. Well that's the thing is it requires training. Yeah, no,
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: thank you, I don't. Yeah, I want to I want
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: to sleep. I need a sleep.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're correct this is a curse. Yeah, partially because
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: I am jealous of that ability to occasionally be able
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: to fly or something seems kind of nice, right, and
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: also just if you want to impress me do something
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: in real life, loser, I agree, it's not impressive. It's
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: something that you probably just stumbled into. It's not really
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: a talent.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It's also, by the way, perverted. It's pervert shit.
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: Oh what you want to be able to control your dreams?
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: What's I can see all your friends naked? Fuck you
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: get out of here. That's fucked up. You creep. If
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: somebody is a lucid dreamer, they're creep. You know they've
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: done sex stuff in there, and that's not okay.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: I think that's all they do.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: That's all they do.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: They work and do sex stuff in them.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: I'm checking the markets, I'm flying, and I'm doing sex stuff.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: With everyone I know.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Fuck that perverts perverts.
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: Ahl right, Well you got three out of three. That's
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: really good. Small list of people.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I know I'm good at parties. I'm
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: knowing when things are good are bad?
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: All right? People are writing into I said no gifts
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: at gmail dot com, begging for answers. Great, we hope
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: me answer a question, of course, all right, this is
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: I have two events coming up I need help with.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: First is on seven six, twenty six, so it's currently
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: seven twenty eight twenty six, so we're right on time
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: with the answer.
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: Here.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: I will be visiting my family in France. Since my
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: cousin's kids are now in the seven to sixteen year
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: old range, I was wondering what are some cool American
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: gifts they may want, especially for an eleven year old
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: whose birthday will be happening while I'm there, and maybe
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: some small things for the other kids. Since storage is
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: minimal in my suitcase, I can relate to that last
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: part at least. Well, we missed the date, so for
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: simply we're not even going to answer the question. Okay, great,
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: and that's the listener's fault, not mine.
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: Now they have another event coming up in October, and
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: it says the second half of my trip to France.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: This is a big brag about how long they're going
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: to be in front.
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm going to be in France for mom's son. End.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, the second half of my trip to France this
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: summer is going to be to my friend's bachelorette in
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: can Despite only going on half of the bachelorette trip.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Her bachelorette is already quite pricey. Her wedding is local
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: to her but destination for me and on a Friday,
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: So already, on top of the cost of the bachelorette
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: hotel for her wedding, the PTO being used towards her
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: and out of town trips to go wedding dress shopping,
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: one of which I got a two hundred dollars speeding ticket.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: This person's breaking the law. I get wedding ticket, wedding down.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: Hey, let's separate some stuff here, because that is I
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: don't know if you were maybe if you were acquired
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: to speed for this, but I don't think that that's.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: Why were you going ninety miles an hour to get
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: a wedding dress?
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think that you needed to do that.
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: I think that one is squarely her fault. I'm sorry
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: to say.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: I would like to know how fast and where they
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: were driving, hopefully through a parking lot. Yeah, towards a
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: David's bridle or something. So what should I get her
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: for a wedding gift? We've been best friends since fifteen,
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: with some ups and downs. Okay, so now also saying
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: we have problems. So she's really throwing a lot on this. Frint,
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: I love her dearly, but also think this marriage won't last.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're putting this out there on a podcast.
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: We also have another wedding in Asia later this year. Well,
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, best luck to those people with this nightmare person.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: And it's just signed overwhelmed and stumped. I mean, this
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: person's terrorizing friends all over the globe.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: You got to get poorer friends. Well, honestly, your fault
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: for being friends with people who are getting married in
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: Europe and France. Get friends who get married in a
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: backyard with some fucking cores light.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: Get friends who email that say we got married over
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: the weekend.
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: Surprise, we're having a little so we're gonna have come by.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: The idea of going to France and to Asia for
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: two different weddings. This person, this is almost like a
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: talented Mister Ripley situation because it seems like she's among
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: these rich people, but it's obviously doesn't have as much money,
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: so she's obviously tricking them into thinking she's also a billionaire.
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Interesting and she's.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Breaking the law. Yeah, she's I mean, you've already broken
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: one law, why not steal something.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: I think that's fun. I think by first thought, as
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: you're saying ups and downs, a lot of ups and
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: downs with this friend, I think, yo yo. And so
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: then I go, is there like a Gucci yo yo?
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Can you get them like there's going to.
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: Be yeah, to symbolize the abs and downs of your
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: guys relationship, maybe the ups and downs of.
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: Marriage in hers yeah yo yo, yes.
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: Or maybe the queen's yo yo. Maybe you can break
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: it into the the royal the royal home. Maybe you
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: can dig up Queen Elizabeth.
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: She was buried with her yo yo.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: Of course, of course was buried with her.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Yea tightly clawing it.
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she was kind of mid to. They arranged her fingers,
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: so she was mid trick yocho queen yo yo queen,
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: So maybe do that.
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: I would say, it's kind of a national treasure situation.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: But with the Queen's yo yo.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good movie. I would watch that movie.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Absolutely watched that.
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think you know, you're already on the run
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: from the law and so many different places.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: It seems no one knows where you live. Probably they
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: probably don't know your real name. I mean she didn't
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: even share it here.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Wait, okay, and Queen yo Yo really good for
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: this too. You think the marriage won't last, and neither
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: well the British monarchy.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: So you can make it kind of political, yes, and
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: then you can say that give a kind of a
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: dangerous political vibe.
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And if you can't get the yo yo out
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: of the Queen's fingers, just break him off and put
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: him in the in the box with the yo yo
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: take a soft yeah, cut them off, take some kitchen scissors.
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: They're not going to be that hard to get to
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: snip off of her rotten corps. I think that's fine.
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: I think that's good.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: I think it's romantic.
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's helpful.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: Are you the best friend or not?
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I think so. I think longtime friendships deserve you know,
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: big chest.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, and this is in the grand scheme of things,
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: not that big of a gesh. Yeah, digging up the
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: Queen of England.
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: And yeah, taking her yo yo. Now, if you wanted
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: to take the king slinky conversation, there's something that would
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: be tough. I got that guarded.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: That requires an assassination.
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we can't.
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: Encourage encourage that not public.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: No, well we'll answer that off.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you told me before we started the podcast,
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: no threat, no political assassination threats on I said.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, we're both going to be banned from the UK.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: Oh no, well it's Gray over there.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: It's great. Well we answered the question perfectly.
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Probably saved a life, I think so. And now I've
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: got this new book series that will never end.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: Yes, you can read this anywhere, and we.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: Option and become kind of the rulers of Hollywood. Yeah,
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: I'm shocked this isn't a series.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think I'm always hearing that maybe there
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: are whispers of it happening, but I'll believe it when
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: I see it. And I think you do an incredible
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: job as Rusty or one of the other cats. If
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: we ever get this thing made and can cast it.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: Well yeah, you and I. And then if there is
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: a spider.
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: Julia Roberts and Julia Roberts will be Spider, a non
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: named spider named Spider Parts.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: Well, I've had such a lovely time with you. Thank
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: you for having me, Thank you for being here and listener.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: The podcast is over and I'm I'm going to let
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: you go, so do do whatever you want. I care,
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: and I really don't, so move on. I love you, goodbye,
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by Miracle
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker,
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram, and
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: I said, No Gifts, that's where you're going to see
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting, And don't
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: you want to see the gifts?
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: When you're a.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: Guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: And I said, no guests, your own presences presents enough.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: And I already had too much stuff, So how did
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: you dare to surbey me