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The Difference Between Psychic Emotions and Vital Emotions · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  Most people judge the emotional relationship based on the
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  external vital nature they have built in expectations, many of
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  them conditioned by the social norms within which they are
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  living. Media reinforces the stereotypes
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  of what these emotions are. The ideal of romanticized love,
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  for example, is one that drives much of the social expectation
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  and interaction that takes place in modern Western society.
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  The ideal of family duty and a growing sense of love for
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  spouse, children, and parents is the source of strong emotional
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  bonds in other parts of the world.
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  The vital emotions that arise from these backgrounds are
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  narrow, exclusive and in many cases tinged with a sense of
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  ownership or forms of jealousy and attachment.
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  They tend to create a separation between the inner circle
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  involved in that relationship and everyone else outside.
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  Psychic emotions, including psychic forms of love, are much
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  wider and more inclusive, less attached to specific individuals
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  and less overtly passionate. They encompass not just the
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  immediate relationship, but also a much wider view of the world.
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  Because they do not exhibit the kind of overt expressions that
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  we normally assign to emotions in relationships, we do not
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  interpret them properly. A form of love that does not
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  take on itself any possessiveness, jealousy,
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  extremes such as self harm or when things breakdown.
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  Harm of the other party in the relationship is considered to be
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  devoid of the reality of love, when in fact it may be a deeper,
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  more abiding and more comprehensive form that is
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  simply not being recognized. This is not the same as what is
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  called platonic love, where there is a mental affinity and
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  support structure. Rather it is based on a psychic
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  emotion and a deep connection that has its own rhythm and
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  justification. It is also not the same as that
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  professed love for humanity that does not seem to care about the
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  individuals who make up that humanity.
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  It is in that sense not abstract love, but something far more
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  that encompasses both the whole and the individual parts.
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  The mother observes. Quote.
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  As I said, some people are quite beyond that.
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  They have been able to control it in such a way that it does
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  not get mixed up with anything else.
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  They have in themselves this psychic love which is full of
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  self forgetfulness, self giving, compassion, generosity, nobility
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  of life and is a great power of identification.
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  So most of these people think they are cold or indifferent.
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  They are very nice people, you see, but they do not love, and
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  sometimes they themselves do not know.
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  I have known people who thought they had no love because they
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  didn't have this vital vibration.
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  Usually when people speak of emotions, they are Speaking of
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  vital emotions. But there is another kind of
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  emotion which is of an infinitely higher order and
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  doesn't express itself in the same way, which has just as much
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  intensity, but an intensity that is under control, contained,
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  condensed, concentrated, and is an extraordinary dynamic power.
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  True love can achieve extraordinary things, but it is
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  rare. All kinds of miracles can be
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  done out of love for the person 1 loves, not for everyone, but
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  for the people or the person 1 loves.
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  But it has to be a love free from all vital mixture, an
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  absolutely pure and selfless love which demands nothing in
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  return, which expects nothing in return.
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  End Quote. Reference Sri Oruvinda and the
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  Mother, the psychic being, soul, its nature, mission and
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  evolution. Section 1.
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  Meaning and Nature of the Psychic Being, pages 40 to 41.