Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 190 - Expectations vs standards

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 190 - Expectations vs standards · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
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  a mastermindset coach, creative strategist and also happened to
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  be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
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  come out here every day to record a podcast to.
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  Teach distinctions. Possibilities, new ways of
• 0:18
  thinking and just bring some joy into the world.
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  So welcome to the coop and let's start your day off in a
• 0:24
  fantastic way. Hey everybody, good morning.
• 0:30
  Can you hear that? Can you hear all those frogs?
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  Don't they sound magnificent? This is so special.
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  We have been void of this sound for weeks and weeks because we
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  were very dry. And yesterday we got a boatload
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  of rain and all of a sudden the frogs woke up, came out of the
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  trees. They're like everywhere right
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  now. And the trilling is going on so
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  loud. So super excited.
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  Anyway, we're doing the podcast from here this morning.
• 1:00
  Sun's not even up. OK, so let's talk about
• 1:03
  expectations versus standards. So there's many differing
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  opinions on this, but I'm going to give you mine because this is
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  something that I truly live by myself.
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  So I have very high standards for myself and the things that
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  I'm involved in and my how I keep my home, how I keep my
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  farm, how I take care of my animals.
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  I have super high standards. I know that.
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  I know they're a pain in the butt.
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  I let me be the first one to say that I know that and my
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  standards are just that. They're my standards.
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  That doesn't mean that I have to have those standards for
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  everyone around me. It means I have those standards.
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  For me, an expectation is somebody else that's around me
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  and then saying, well, I expected you to dot, dot dot do
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  whatever that might be. Expectations versus standards.
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  It's an interesting conversation because often the 2 are
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  commingled. They become twisted.
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  They become like mushed together, if you will.
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  And people confuse them and say, well, I expect that you're going
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  to do this or I expect this. Well, now you've got your
• 2:23
  standards. Putting something on someone
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  else who may have different standards, which may be lower or
• 2:28
  higher, This works both ways. And that sets up a recipe for
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  disappointment. Believe me, I've lived it.
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  I know. And when I had to figure out the
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  difference between expectations and standards in my own
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  definitions and how I was seeing them, then I could sort it out
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  and try to say, OK, well, if they're my standards, then I
• 2:48
  have to hold myself to those standards and nobody else.
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  Like, that's it. Just because someone's in my
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  world doesn't mean that I'm holding them to that standard.
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  It means I'm putting an expectation out there
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  potentially. But again, without telling
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  somebody, that's not fair. And you have to give people the
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  idea of these expectations. You really like, have to say,
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  well, here, this, this is what I'm looking for.
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  You don't have to even say I expect because now that just
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  sounds very, especially if it's a loved one with you, you know,
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  that just sounds very controlling sometimes.
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  So you're like, well, you have to put them out there and say,
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  is this something that you could do or is this something that you
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  could work on with me or approach it in a way that makes
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  you likable instead of dictoria, You know, you want to be a
• 3:40
  dictator and you'll be dictatorial in the whole thing.
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  You want to be approachable with it and the standards that you
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  have. Some people will say, well,
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  lower your standards and it's really more of lower your
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  expectation. Just lower your expectations,
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  but keep your standard for yourself.
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  So I get up early every day so that I can get a lot of things
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  done before I start working. Nobody forces me to do that.
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  I put that on myself. I have high standards, so I
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  recognize I'd never used to when I was younger.
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  I'd be like, well, I would expect, you know, my person to
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  be that way, but my person is not that way.
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  So I have to look at things the way I am.
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  I willing to give up that standard.
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  And the answer is no, I'm not willing to lower my standards,
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  but I am willing to shift my expectations.
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  Do you see the difference? And it's a really big deal and
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  it really stops a lot of stress. And if I do have an expectation,
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  I have to be very forthcoming in what it all means.
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  I have to be very specific of what that is so that my, my
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  family can understand it or my clients or my partners in
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  business, whatever it is that they, I, I, they understand that
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  I have that expectation based on the standard.
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  So I will language it that way. I will say, listen, my standard
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  is this. And if you're going to work with
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  me, like let's say it's a partnership that I have with
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  somebody, I and I'll come right out and say it, this is my
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  standard. This is how I run it, and my
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  expectation is that if you're going to use my content, you're
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  going to do it the same way. And if you're not, then you
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  can't use my content. And I can be that way because
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  I'm telling them my standard and my expectation and they can
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  agree and then I can hold them to it.
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  But it's a lot less stressful if you approach it this way.
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  OK my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I will see you
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  tomorrow. And I hope you enjoyed the frogs
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  in the background because I certainly did.
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  I'll see you then. Bye.