Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / September 11, 2018 | Expresso - Dominique Ekong

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September 11, 2018 | Expresso - Dominique Ekong · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good evening, ladies.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have to say, it was pretty overwhelming to try to think of how to sum up my life in roughly 20 minutes.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought I'd clue you in on some of the major snapshots of my life by way of what I'm calling Five Lessons of a Sinner Saved by Grace.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: There has been so much that has happened in my life, but there are some very key moments that really show off God's glory, and I want to take this time to make much of his name.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime she has stood up to give the church announcements, I cheese from ear to ear, just waiting to see how she's going to deliver the message.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And when I attended LOL for the first time this past December, I was in full-blown tears just thinking about how much her story blessed me.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And this year, when she sat at the same table as I did at the Women's Chronological Bible study, I was elated, like, oh my gosh, we are going to like laugh all the time.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Truth be told, she really is a beautiful person inside and out.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I have gained so much wisdom from her.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I truly believe that if we would not have sat at the same table at Bible study, I wouldn't be standing up here now.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, life lesson number one: if you don't want to have to get asked to share your story at Espresso, never sit at a table with Connie Hall.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Just kidding.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: She really is a wonderful person, though, and I truly believe that God orchestrated our meeting and thus me sharing my story with you today.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: But seriously, my real life lesson number one is follow God's lead even if you're afraid.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Let me be the first to say that public speaking is at the bottom of my list of favorite things to do.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Which is ironic because my majors in undergrad and graduate school were broadcast journalism and communication studies.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Go figure.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: As a really young child, I was so shy that I was often teased and picked on in school.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: As I got older, I choked at the thought of having to initiate conversation with someone face to face.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and you know, on the first day of class or in a first time at a group where you have to stand up and say your name and blah, blah, blah, I just wanted to jump out of my skin.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Better yet, just run out of the room.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: College was a major turning point for me in moving closer toward conquering my fear of speaking to others.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: In college, I slowly put myself out there by joining various groups and clubs where I would have to speak and get comfortable hearing my own voice.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: In grad school, I had countless opportunities to speak in class, which I had to take advantage of, otherwise, my grade would have suffered.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage and parenthood, however, have been the most significant areas in my life in which I've been able to grow increasingly comfortable speaking.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: With marriage, it's not so much that I am married, but rather who I married to.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: My husband is one of the best public speakers I know.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And hearing him always encourages me to be more confident.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Once I became a stay-at-home mom, I really wanted time with other moms.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I learned to force myself out there to make the first move.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't necessarily become a pro at this, and I still feel like I have shy, awkward moments at times.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And even now, I sense the enemy of my soul wanting to quiet my voice.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I will not keep my mouth shut, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you feel like God is leading you down an unfamiliar road, which would involve you doing things you're uncomfortable with, do it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Trust him.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Quiet not your voice.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Be not afraid, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go, and he will meet you and provide you with all you need.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: When Connie asked me to speak at Espresso, I asked her to give me 24 hours and I would let her know whether or not I would do it.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was super nervous to speak in front of a room full of women, and I wasn't sure what I would share.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: The next morning, as soon as I jumped in my car to go to my workout class, the sermon that was just beginning on the radio was entitled, Sharing Your Story, the Best Evangelism Tool You Could Have.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not lying.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I felt God cornering me for sure.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Once I got to my workout class, although I was working out, the entire time he just brought to my mind what I could share and how to do it.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: He is so loving, and he really does meet us in our weaknesses.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: So let's rewind.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was born in the summer of 1985 in Bronx, New York, to a simply amazing mother, Denise.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: She was, in my eyes, what I would call the Black Princess Diana.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: She was classy, stylish, she was very tough but super sweet, and truly loved and cared for others.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: She was loved by so many people, even though she arrested.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: She was a captain in the New York Police Department and worked in the area of corrections.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: She worked nights, so I would sleep at a babysitter's house while she was at work.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: She would bring me to the bus stop in the mornings and be there to pick me up in the afternoons.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: One afternoon in particular, when I was in kindergarten, I remember she picked me up from the bus stop, but her hair was different.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: She typically had long hair, but this afternoon she wore a short wig.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I remember being very confused and asking lots of questions.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But from what I could remember, I think she was trying to convince me that she was just trying a new style.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: But in my childlike mind, something just didn't sit right.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Later on the following summer, I was spending time in Texas with my aunt, as I did every summer.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: It was the beginning of August, and like always, we were scheduled to take our trip back to New York so I could be back home with my mom and ready to start the new school year.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: However, my other aunt called from New York and said that the trip needed to be a bit sooner.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: We needed to get back to New York right away because my mom wasn't doing well.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: What I was unaware of was that she had cancer.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: She had had breast cancer previously and had gone into remission.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: However, this time it had come back and spread throughout her body rather rapidly and unexpectedly.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: She died within a few days of our arrival at the tender age of 35.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that is when my world turned upside down.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: My father was not in the picture.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: He had been around very little during my first year or two of life, but that quickly dwindled.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have one fuzzy memory of being around him when I was small, and that was as good as it got.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, my mom passing away didn't change his desire to be any more involved in my life, as I would later find out that the only thing he cared about was where his$60 child support check was going to be sent.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes,$60.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I hadn't really known the love of a father up to that point.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't know that I might have been missing out on anything.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted my mom, and knowing that she was no longer living and walking around on this earth had me feeling like I was in a twilight zone.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: At seven years old, I had lost my best friend, my rock.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: My mom meant everything to me.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: One of the best memories I have of my mom is coming home, turning on the music, and just dancing together.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: She was super loving and affectionate.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: She worked so hard in her career, even sending me to a great private school.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Twive years later, I miss her so much that it hurts.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Lesson number two.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: When you have a tragedy in your life, don't be so quick to be mad at God.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: It is always too soon to be mad at God.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about perspective.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: What looks like a terrible thing to us may actually be a good thing.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: It may actually be a good thing in his big picture of life.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: So he can bring you where he wants you to be, close to him, because we are ultimately his.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Nor do I ever remember being told there wasn't enough money for something.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: But even with this cushy lifestyle, something was missing.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: I should have been so thankful for my aunt and uncle taking me in as their own.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: However, with the new marriage union and their precious baby girl in the picture, instead, I often felt like the outcast.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: The one piece of the puzzle that just didn't belong.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: As I mentioned previously, my mom was super loving and affectionate toward me.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: My aunt, on the other hand, although she loved me, wasn't as lovey dovey.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: There wasn't a ton of hugs and kisses, no late-night girl talks, and I found it difficult to develop a deep relational connection with she and my uncle.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: I firmly believe that there is a major difference between being there physically and being there emotionally for your kids.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can provide for them all the material things in the world, but if you're not deeply engaged, talking and finding out who they are as a person, their likes and dislikes, it can really be a major game changer for the worse.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I remember one particular occasion being in tears asking for my aunt to talk to me, outside of just talking about what chores I needed to do, but really talk to me, you know, about the girl things girls need to know about, about womanhood, how to deal with boys, hormones, all of those things.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: To no avail.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: In her defense, I realized that she just didn't know how.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: She had taken on her sister's child in the prime of life where she was previously single and had no kids.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: All of a sudden, her life had turned upside down in the midst of grieving her sister.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: She had not experienced the type of love and mother-daughter intimacy I was searching for, and therefore didn't have it to give.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Please don't get me wrong.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think she and my uncle did a spectacular job raising me.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we are so much closer now than we were then.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, though, we can give our kids all the material things we never had while still not giving them what they uniquely need.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Nevertheless, here we were, and this was the situation.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: I cried out to God on numerous occasions, asking him why he took my mom away from me.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was angry, frustrated, and didn't have the slightest clue about the God I was angry at.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: But God was setting this whole scene up for my dependence upon him.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: He wanted me, and he was making sure that any potential idols were torn down and that my heart was being prepared for him.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know the plans.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what was going on, but he did.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Here I was a child who was left with no mother, an absentee father, and some really great guardians who were making sure I had the best life they knew how to give.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and they did take me to church.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because my uncle was Catholic, when my aunt and he got married, it was natural that we all became Catholic.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I went through the whole thing catechism, confirmation, the white dress, big ceremony, everything, with a soul just as empty as an unworn pair of shoes.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I had no idea.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Lesson number three good deeds alone do not get you into heaven.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: No amount of religion or religious acts can put you in a right relationship with God.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Only trusting in God's Son, Jesus, can do that.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 2, 8 and 9.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was good.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that God was pleased with me because I went to church.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't matter that I was partying the night before, doing God knows what with my friends.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: My aunt said that she didn't care how late I stayed up or what time I came home, but that I better be up and ready to go to church the next morning.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I did.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: I followed the rules.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I checked the boxes, I knelt, stood, prayed, knelt, stood, and prayed, knelt, stood, and prayed for nine years old to 21 years old.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout this time of growing up, however, I had several really good game-changing moments come about.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: The first was that I had an aunt and uncle in California who were Christians.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I visited them for long stretches a few times during my adolescence, and one major thing stood out to me.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: They were consistent in their walk with Christ.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: They went to church just like I did at home, but when they went home for the rest of the week, they were the same way they were in church.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: They worshiped God in church and in their cars and when they were at home.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: They read their Bible at church and when they were at home.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: They treated people with love and kindness wherever they went.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Watching their lives really helped me see that being a Christian wasn't just who you are and what you do on Sundays, but it's who you are and what you do every day of your life, even when no one is looking.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, during my senior year in high school, I worked at the local men's warehouse.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: One of my coworkers there was a Christian, and his name was Rob.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Rob and his then fiance shared Christ with me on a number of occasions and invited me to church functions.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: When they were share Christ with me, I would always cry, and I didn't know why.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was like my soul was crying out for more, even though I thought I was good and had it all.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: In my mind, I thought there was nothing else I needed, but my soul knew better.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I am forever thankful for people like Rob and Shannon, who shared their faith with me and planted a seed, and set the example for me to later on share Christ with others.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: The residence assistant on my floor, Joey, was a Christian, and she always invited me to the Bible studies she and her friends had on campus.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have a car that first semester, and she would bring me to church with her, introduce me to her family, and really loved on me.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure that it might have been inconvenient at times to have me tagging along, but she was faithful and it truly paid off.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't pay off right away though.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout my college career, I created an unhealthy cycle of habitual dating and partying.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: If anyone was going to a club or party, I was always down.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And anytime I had a boyfriend, we were enjoying the benefits of what only married people should.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was lost, but those seeds stayed buried deep inside my heart.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: All of these instances together sum up for me lesson number four.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Never underestimate the power of your witness unto Christ.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Living a life above reproach and being consistent in your character, sharing Christ with a neighbor, friend, or coworker, or unashamedly standing for Christ amongst a group of other young people.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: These are all examples for me of what fulfilling the Great Commission in Matthew 28 19 means.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: To go therefore and make disciples of all nations.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I ask myself at times, what if?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: What if either one of these individuals had not obeyed and not took a chance to share Christ with me?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Where would I be?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Either way, I am eternally grateful for their obedience.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: My last and most critical lesson takes place at the end of my first semester in college.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: I flew to Berkeley, California to meet my father for the first time as an adult.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: My aunt let me know during my teenage years that I had siblings on my father's side.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: She knew I had a desire to meet them as well as my father, so she set out to find them for me.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: To make a long story short, we arranged to spend our first holiday together during the Christmas holiday in 2003.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: My three older sisters, my father and myself.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: The initial introduction was awkward and we hugged like old, distant friends.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Later on after dinner, we had time alone to have the talk.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: I got to ask questions like, where were you and why didn't you care?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so on.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I had long explanations to recount for you, but I don't remember much of his responses at all.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: What I do remember most was his attitude and demeanor, his lack of remorse or humility, and the fact that I don't remember him saying I'm sorry and truly meaning it wholeheartedly.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to smile and tell myself, well, at least I've had the chance to meet my father.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: It took me some time to forgive and get over the sting of rejection three times over.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: The first from not being there while I was growing up, the second from not being there after my mom passed away, and the third from not even being remorseful after meeting me as an adult.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Over the next few years, we spent little time together and talked on the phone even less.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was hard for me to pursue a relationship with him, after he had not cared about me for so long.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: He had been suffering from a few illnesses and unfortunately died a few years after our first meeting.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would be lying if I said I didn't have some regrets.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest is more like a wish rather than a regret.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I wish that I would have known Jesus during the time knowing my father, as I would have been able to offer him the love that he didn't show me.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was a year after my father passed away that I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was 21 years old.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: God, at his chosen time, removed the scales from my eyes and brought forth the fruit from all the seeds that had been planted.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Lesson number five.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: God, our heavenly Father, is the absolute best parent we could ever have.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Even the best earthly parent couldn't top him.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: He's the best at loving, he's the best at comforting, and he's the best at saving us.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: John 1.12.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Early on in my story, I got a real life picture of what it meant to be adopted.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: I am so thankful that my aunt and uncle brought me into their family and took care of me so well.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: But being adopted into God's family and being rescued from a life of sin and shame has meant more to me than I could ever articulate.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: My mom named me Dominique after a boutique in New York at the time.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And sometime after becoming a believer, I came to know that my name means belonging to the Lord.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if she had hopes that I'd be his.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I am so tremendously glad that I am.