Latest / The Junto Podcast / E63: Manners Matter
Transcript
- 0:10Hello America, welcome to the Juneto podcast where we promote the practical
- 0:14applications of critical thinking and bold creativity.
- 0:18I'm your host Edgar Mills. Thank you for,
- 0:28Hello, America. Welcome to episode 63. Yep, 63, going strong.
- 0:34Appreciate all of you for listening. I really do. So what are we talking about today?
- 0:39Today, we're talking about basic politeness and good manners.
- 0:44Those two things once were the lubricant of our daily interactions.
- 0:52So it kept things going smooth, eased the friction with the other humans,
- 0:57good manners, basic politeness.
- 1:03And it seems, and I could be wrong, this could just be my observations,
- 1:08and probably social media has a lot to do with it, but it seems that these things
- 1:13are, excuse me, in short supply these days,
- 1:16especially like formal manners. Never mind just basic manners.
- 1:22And it also almost, this is definitely because of social media,
- 1:26but it almost seems like people are looking for friction these days.
- 1:31So, yeah. And look, I'm not mourning the loss of some bygone golden era where
- 1:37everybody was kind and polite and all that.
- 1:39I mean, a little bit, but I don't think it's lost completely.
- 1:42What we're going to try to do today, what I'm trying to do today,
- 1:45is kind of diagnose where these manners begin to slip away and how we can sort
- 1:53of get it back across all the generations that are still walking the earth today,
- 1:58how we can get it back.
- 2:02Just a little anecdotal thing. I can tell you now, every now and again,
- 2:05I'll have the opportunity to hold the door open for like an elderly person.
- 2:11And elderly people seem to be very appreciative of outward display of good manners
- 2:17as compared to young people.
- 2:19You hold a door open for a young person, they don't give you a glance,
- 2:22they don't look at you and say anything. They go in as though that was the way
- 2:25it was supposed to be. So, I don't know, kind of weird.
- 2:28So, yeah, hopefully today we can come to some sort of, I don't know,
- 2:32understanding, some kind of practical path back to some semblance of basic human
- 2:38dignity and basic humankind that's with each other.
- 2:41And I'm not outwardly a really happy-go-lucky guy, which may seem like I don't
- 2:48have good manners, but I do.
- 2:50And I always say the cursory thank you or please or you're welcome.
- 2:59Or literally, if I'm dealing with someone older than me, yes,
- 3:02sir, no, sir. I always do that. Whether I'm smiling about it or not, it's irrelevant.
- 3:07All right. I target these people a lot, but here we go. And the baby boomers,
- 3:13they absorbed a lot of their good manners through, well, at the kitchen table, right?
- 3:20Back in those days, everyone still had dinner at the dinner table.
- 3:27And then they had a lot of overly formal type jobs.
- 3:32But I don't know if it was the type of job or if it was just the time that they were in.
- 3:37But in that post-World War II prosperity, that was, you know,
- 3:45the firm handshake kind of had a little meaning to it.
- 3:49Or yes, sir, no, sir. Or, you know, everybody kind of still back in those days
- 3:56would give their neighbor a wave.
- 3:57And in some neighborhoods, in rural areas, I guess it's sort of like that.
- 4:03Maybe some suburban areas. But there's – I suspect, and from what I see around
- 4:08the metro Atlanta, like –,
- 4:11You might be living next door to someone in a cookie-cutter neighborhood,
- 4:15never interact with them whatsoever, never know their name, never know anything
- 4:19about them. It could be that way.
- 4:25So the baby boomers, they come up with the manners, right? And they grew up
- 4:29with the manners. But what happened?
- 4:32Where did it start to go south? Well,
- 4:36the baby boom also gave us all these leftist activists and protesters and agitators,
- 4:44the anti-war hippies, which weren't hippies at all.
- 4:50Well, I think there was more of a fashion statement there.
- 4:55And the anti-war thing was just generated. Look, the Vietnam War was bad. We know it was bad.
- 5:02And we knew it was bad then. But I think the anti-war protesters was sort of
- 5:08a symptom of something else.
- 5:11Because what did those baby boomers also, those specific, that group,
- 5:15they weren't just protesting Vietnam War.
- 5:19They were protesting their, the system, their easy upbringing.
- 5:25And this is, I think, the first glimpse we get to see of this white guilt or
- 5:32this privilege that they feel embarrassed or ashamed of.
- 5:37So I think we started to see it there. So good manners to these protesters became like a conformity.
- 5:48So I believe that's the beginning of it. And I blame a lot of today's problems
- 5:52on the baby boomer generation because they're the ones who are in Congress right now, by the way.
- 5:59So and then came Generation X, my generation.
- 6:04And we were raised on independence or depending on your perspective, neglect and MTV.
- 6:13Yeah, and those of you who've known me for a while, you know that I also say
- 6:18MTV was the downfall of modern society.
- 6:22And to a degree it is. But so in this generation, Generation X,
- 6:27this emerging sort of culture of self-reliance or just do it yourself or I'll
- 6:33figure it out on my own type.
- 6:36We kind of.
- 6:39Well, I don't know. we like literally
- 6:43literally shrugged off sort of
- 6:46traditional and formal good manners and that
- 6:49that whatever shrug is what it's
- 6:52become known as that kind of stuck man
- 6:55and that kind of yeah that kind of stuck it became the default and also called
- 7:00the whatever shrug also call that the 10th group salute then came to millennials
- 7:06yeah the millennials so they are the first,
- 7:13true like well their world was shaped by the smartphone gen x was not the smartphone
- 7:19came later and we were like oh well that's crazy yeah the the millennials their
- 7:24world was shaped by the smartphone.
- 7:27They weren't yet all completely 100% digital, but they very much were heading that way.
- 7:34And then the jobs, right, they started doing non-traditional.
- 7:38That's when tech jobs started coming along. And they started doing these weird
- 7:42sort of gig jobs where you may not have had to sit in front of a table full
- 7:47of humans or go sell a product.
- 7:49So good manners weren't a default at work necessarily.
- 7:53You want to be a quiet, isolated genius. Go ahead. Do your thing. Nobody cared.
- 7:58So their default, well, the interactions, right?
- 8:04The more digital interactions there are and the less human, real human interactions.
- 8:11Nobody cares about calling Mike Tyson a chump online, right?
- 8:16But in face-to-face, would you ever call Mike Tyson a chump? No, you wouldn't.
- 8:21Because you'd catch a gigantic fist to the face, right?
- 8:26So now, normal daily interactions to these millennials starts to look like,
- 8:33it starts to seem a little, well, I don't want to say risky,
- 8:36but like, it's safe just not to interact.
- 8:40It's uncomfortable to interact with other people. So they just don't.
- 8:45So their default became neutral.
- 8:48No manners at all. Not good, not bad, not otherwise. Just blank stare.
- 8:53And that's how we got the millennial stare.
- 8:56Yeah, have you ever gone into a coffee shop with a millennial working behind
- 9:01and you walk up and you stand there and they look at you and you look at them
- 9:05waiting for the cursory, hey, how's it going? Can I help you?
- 9:09What can I get for you today? Instead, they just go.
- 9:13The millennial stare. They don't know how to interact with human beings.
- 9:17I'm saying everybody and this is not obviously everyone in every generation,
- 9:21right? Just some examples.
- 9:24The millennial stare, it's pretty funny. My son talked about that a little bit.
- 9:29Gen Z, though, was the first generation fully, fully formed by algorithms and digits. Yep.
- 9:40100% fully formed by algorithms and digits
- 9:43everything born on
- 9:47the screen and what they learned is
- 9:50the controversy or outrage or snarky little
- 9:54quips gets more clicks than goodwill than good manners do and that's all it
- 10:02matters now is how many clicks and how many whatever influencers everybody's
- 10:07an influencer so it's all about the clicks no manners necessary They didn't,
- 10:12good manners don't get clicks. Yeah.
- 10:16So screens have become our primary interaction. I'm interacting with a screen right now.
- 10:22And then you guys are going to hear me on some speakers through your computer or your smartphone.
- 10:28So there's no real need for good manners. I suppose if I'm an asshole though,
- 10:32you'll, you won't listen to me anymore.
- 10:34Maybe I don't know how that affects in the podcast business.
- 10:38So now all these things we have, now we can interact. We can almost exclusively
- 10:42interact without any need to contact another human being physically, to be in the same space.
- 10:53And that, along with, you know, still there's economic pressure going on.
- 10:57Gas right now is, you know, nearly four bucks a gallon around here. It's insane.
- 11:01So there's some economic pressure still going on. And then we got all this cultural
- 11:07noise, whether it's artificial or natural, we have all the division going on.
- 11:12And division is madness, immigrants this and racial that and left versus right
- 11:20this and that and Epstein files.
- 11:23And I don't know if you guys have noticed going around Twitter in the past day
- 11:27or two is Hunter Biden sex tapes with him and his big old schlong all over the damn Twitter.
- 11:33So that's pervasive in our world, right?
- 11:37So all of that noise has sort of taught us to preserve ourselves and conserve energy.
- 11:47And so real interactions with real people starts to look like some energy that
- 11:53we can't spare, right? Right.
- 11:56I can't I can't bring myself to to muster up enough energy to go and interact
- 12:03with this person in person.
- 12:05But just this right here will do the trick just over the digits.
- 12:08Easy enough. It's crazy.
- 12:10So so outward efforts of courtesy, outward efforts of good manners start to
- 12:17look like a waste of energy that we don't have it.
- 12:21That's what it looks like But we do though It doesn't take any energy In fact
- 12:27it probably takes less energy To give a person a kind word in person Than it
- 12:31does on the digits Does all this sound amorous?
- 12:35I mean maybe I'm not meaning to be.
- 12:39And then on top of all that, we have all this modern theater and political theater
- 12:45and all this artificial wokeness and all this virtue signaling and political
- 12:50extremisms and all this shit.
- 12:53Well, it inhibits our willingness just to show good manners to someone.
- 12:58Because now, a simple interaction, simple decency with another person,
- 13:03there's always got to be some ideological purity test.
- 13:08If you hold a door some for someone hey if it's if i hold a door for a professional woman,
- 13:16she might see it as being condescending yeah and that's not a controversial
- 13:21thing it's like hold the door i hold the door for anyone if i approach a door
- 13:26at the same time as anyone i don't care if it's a young boy a grown man my age
- 13:31or younger big small woman elderly literally.
- 13:36I'm going to hold the door. That's just it. It's a courtesy.
- 13:39But now it might be looked at as being kind of sinning.
- 13:43If I, heaven forbid, I compliment someone, well, let's say a female again,
- 13:48because I'm a male, right?
- 13:50If I compliment a female and say, wow, you look really nice today,
- 13:54or just you look really nice.
- 13:57Maybe I've never seen. So is it out of the way to Compliment someone you've never seen before,
- 14:03I don't know maybe There's probably a A good way to do it and then a bad way
- 14:07to do it But what if it's a woman you work with every day And you come in Wow
- 14:12Kelly you look really nice today Oh thank you Or this motherfucker you know.
- 14:19Now it looks like there's some kind of, I don't know, ulterior motives,
- 14:24perhaps, or maybe it just seemed offensive. I don't know.
- 14:30So and then and then today, what's pervasive out there politically is the identity politics.
- 14:35So now with the identity politics, we do everywhere.
- 14:40You're scanning every stranger for some ideological purity or some outward sign
- 14:44of their of their click, their set, their tribal marker so that we can determine
- 14:51whether or not even to say hello or just ignore them indignantly.
- 14:55If I got my red MAGA hat on, right, of course, no one on the left is going to
- 15:00be like, oh, hey, I'd open the door for you. They're going to sneer at you.
- 15:05Right. And maybe vice versa.
- 15:09Your good old boy walking down the street start start
- 15:12to open a door and a young girl that looks like my
- 15:15daughter with shaved head and piercings all over and
- 15:18tattoos he just opens door and walks in and cuts her off because he thinks she's
- 15:23a little lefty weirdo or whatnot that's what's going on out there it is going
- 15:28on there there are plenty of examples you can see it now look There's not chaos
- 15:33out on the streets of Rome or Atlanta.
- 15:36I do see little acts, but I see more acts of dismissiveness than I do of courtesy or good manners.
- 15:46I will see people open the door, walk in and let it go without even holding it open.
- 15:52And then some 80-year-old guy and his wife and he's reaching,
- 15:55you know, I see that all the time.
- 15:58So even if it's just dismissive, it's bad manners.
- 16:02Or I hate, I hate to see people drop shit on the ground, especially people who smoke.
- 16:09Hey, if you're listening to this and you drive your car with the window down
- 16:12and you smoke and then you flick your butt outside the window because you think
- 16:18the world is your trash can.
- 16:21You you're an a-hole and i'll take it up with you
- 16:24in private we can talk about it one yeah that's
- 16:27littering don't matter if it's a cigarette or not two
- 16:30in places like i don't know out west colorado and things that have heavy drought
- 16:37and dry seasons you can get a heavy fine for that because that can start literally
- 16:42start wildfires so anyway yeah i see things like that a lot and i'm like wow,
- 16:49And I'll mean mug them through the window I'm not going to get in a fight over
- 16:54that But sometimes I'd like to Sometimes I'll just like get out and go stomp
- 16:59someone It's good manners not to get out and go stomp someone,
- 17:04So now you got the identity politics And it's causing people to selectively
- 17:09use their kindness Because they don't want to be kind to the wrong people,
- 17:16Yeah You know, I thought this when I was young because my dad was very much
- 17:22a blue-collar guy, and there seemed to be like this universal sort of pact amongst the working man.
- 17:31Easy because that guy's struggling just like you are that's
- 17:34in your mind you're like yeah man just working stiff get
- 17:38a free you know not a free pass but like yeah let
- 17:41the guy in you know what I mean or whatever because you
- 17:44knew that like yeah he's out there struggling if he's got especially like my
- 17:48dad worked for the city of Atlanta and so if they had the city of Atlanta resurgence
- 17:54patch on their shoulder in some dirty ass work boots like you knew that dude was struggling yeah man,
- 18:03so it's just become easier just to either ignore stay silent or just retreat
- 18:09and all these little small gestures these simple little courtesies have have
- 18:16begun to uh the fade away man and look this,
- 18:21I talk about racial stuff a lot.
- 18:23And why is that? I mean, I don't know why that is. I think it's the way and where I grew up.
- 18:29But, you know, Atlanta, well, Atlanta's majority black, but I mean,
- 18:32Georgia itself is a significant black population.
- 18:38But working class neighborhoods, man, you know, black dudes and white dudes
- 18:44are punching the same time card.
- 18:47You know, I've done many a temp job Working factories.
- 18:54Color is irrelevant When you need a job,
- 18:59know, it sucks just the same. Your back hurts just as bad as his and his just as bad as yours.
- 19:05Grocery bills are still expensive, regardless if it's you or him buying them.
- 19:09So I hate to see bad manners show up when it comes to cultural and racial divide,
- 19:15because that is just one simple little thing,
- 19:19one simple thing that would have a great impact, I believe, on easing,
- 19:24easing up those cultural and racial divides, I think.
- 19:28But yeah, I'm going to go back to the big evils, media and politics.
- 19:34They kind of conspire to keep the divide in place because,
- 19:41yeah, it keeps the conflict fresh on the front burner so that we don't have
- 19:48to look at the real issues, the deeper issues,
- 19:52economic issues, civil rights issues like real civil rights issues,
- 19:58when the media and,
- 20:00when they frame every little workplace friction or every little traffic slight
- 20:08as some kind of racial war.
- 20:14Yeah, it just perpetuates the problem
- 20:16and the trust amongst your neighbors disappears when it doesn't need to.
- 20:22People stop giving the nod or the wave.
- 20:27Stop letting people get over. When you see somebody with a blinker,
- 20:31you know, you speed up, close up the gap.
- 20:34That's effort. It takes effort to do that, by the way, to speed up,
- 20:37to close that gap. Why would you do that?
- 20:40If you weren't paying attention enough to let that gap happen and somebody gets
- 20:45in it, then you have some good manners and just let it be.
- 20:51And the irony is, especially with the black and white situation,
- 20:56working class, because I'm not going to, for the rest of this,
- 20:59I'm not going to differentiate black and white, working class,
- 21:02is that that's the irony is that you have so much more in common with the other
- 21:10working class guy, regardless of his color, than you do with any of the media pundits.
- 21:15The perfect hair or the media, social media influencers, you know,
- 21:21making $20,000 a month on YouTube somehow or whatnot.
- 21:26You don't have anything in common with those people.
- 21:29You've got everything in common with a dude that lives in your neighborhood,
- 21:33who you see him every morning on the same route going to work,
- 21:37same route coming home from work.
- 21:39So one good way to get back to good manners, because it's an act of effort,
- 21:46but it's just not much effort, that's all. It doesn't require much effort.
- 21:50But to remember that our common ground with the other human beings is a real
- 21:57easy way to make that effort easier.
- 22:00Remember that you do have the common ground.
- 22:04You have nothing in common with Hunter Biden, unless you have a giant penis, I guess, and do crack.
- 22:12But the dude pulling out of your neighborhood, going to work every morning,
- 22:17he probably got plenty in common with him.
- 22:20Manners, good people, listen to this and listen real good.
- 22:26Manners are not shallow. They define you.
- 22:31Yep they define you and if
- 22:34you don't use them at all ever that's how
- 22:37you will be viewed and remembered so they're not as shallow as they seem but
- 22:43the fact of the matter is they are small simplistic minimal minimal effort inputs
- 22:52outward displays of well your character,
- 22:56And those good manners that you use and interact with the other human beings
- 23:01are just a small daily confirmation,
- 23:06a little daily piece of proof that you see the cashier or the waitress or your
- 23:16coworker or some stranger on the street as fully human.
- 23:21Yeah. And worthy of some basic human respect.
- 23:25That's what good manners are. You know, they may seem like surface level,
- 23:31surface level gestures, and they are, but they're not disingenuous.
- 23:37And that's how simple they are. If you simply do it, it's not disingenuous.
- 23:43Now, you can have some artificial manners if you're trying to kiss butt with
- 23:48an executive at your work or something. but good manners given artificially
- 23:54they come off immediately like that they come off as shallow and.
- 23:59But generally speaking, for the regular public, if you make the effort, it is genuine.
- 24:08It don't have to be some crazy, you don't have to shine the guy's shoes as he
- 24:15walks through the door. I mean, it's just surface level.
- 24:19A simple thank you or I appreciate you. Oh, my God, man.
- 24:25That's a simple act of humanity. no deeper philosophical reasons required.
- 24:33Yeah, no deeper, no hidden agenda required.
- 24:37And here's the secret genius on all that is that it'll improve the day of the
- 24:44person you're being kind to for sure.
- 24:48But it also feels good in your own bones. It will improve you.
- 24:53Yeah, that's right. It'll improve you as well.
- 24:57Because if you hold a door and you get a genuine smile back, man, it feels good.
- 25:03I might not be able to carry you through the day, but man, it feels pretty good.
- 25:07Or if someone, you hold a door and somebody actually says thank you, it feels good.
- 25:14Or if you let somebody in and then they roll their window down and throw their
- 25:17hand out, wave frantically, feels good.
- 25:21Feels good. You just brighten somebody's day, if only for a little bit,
- 25:24if only for a second, feels good.
- 25:27And all the digits, all the algorithms and all the screens will not replace
- 25:32those kinds of feelings. Those are real.
- 25:35Those are genuine human feelings.
- 25:37Can't be replaced with algorithms. Can't be replaced.
- 25:42And by doing these little things, you can, well, walk a little taller.
- 25:47You know what I mean? You feel a little bit better about the person that you
- 25:52just chose to be in that moment.
- 25:54You guys know I always quote Ayn Rand. I love Ayn Rand.
- 25:58I think she was a philosophical genius.
- 26:01And you know she strongly, she was a staunch advocate of rational self-interest.
- 26:09She understood this better than any moralist or altruistic person ever has.
- 26:19Rational self-interest, rightly applied, is not at all selfishness,
- 26:25certainly not petty selfishness.
- 26:28Rational self-interest is a very clear-eyed recognition that your long-term
- 26:37and short-term well-being depends on the quality of the environment that you occupy,
- 26:45the quality of the environment that you interact in and you contribute to.
- 26:52So being well-mannered towards other people is not altruistic.
- 26:56It's not because Jesus said so.
- 26:58It's, well, a level, I mean, it's a little bit of an enlightened perspective of self-interest.
- 27:07I help you because it helps me. So that sounds selfish, right?
- 27:12But you're being helped.
- 27:17By helping you, I'm helping myself. Maybe not directly, maybe,
- 27:20maybe three or four times removed, you know, you treat other people with the
- 27:26dignity that you want to cultivate in your community.
- 27:31Because if you do, then they're more likely to treat others the way you treat them.
- 27:37So for instance, I don't know, what tradesmen, your local, your local carpenter,
- 27:43you know, if he consistently shows fairness and a little bit of human class, right?
- 27:52He good customer service and he does quality work and he's honest and his reputation precedes him.
- 28:00That creates an environment that people like to be a part of and feel like,
- 28:06well, I've got to step up my game.
- 28:08Or yeah, I keep saying this one, but if you, a driver letting someone else merge,
- 28:13man, I mean, that's, It's such a small gesture.
- 28:16It's such a small gesture.
- 28:19But if you let somebody merge, guess what? They are more apt to let someone
- 28:23else merge later on down the way.
- 28:26Yep. It's the same concept. I know I bring up my friend Trail Trash Dirtbag
- 28:31every now and again, but he picks up trash along the trail and he doesn't go out to pick up trash.
- 28:39He goes out to run or to cycle. but when he
- 28:42sees trash he stops and he picks it up and he's
- 28:45i think he saw a study or something or at least it's his
- 28:48philosophy that if somebody sees you do that then they are something like i
- 28:54can't remember 80 percent more apt to stop and pick up trash on their their
- 29:01their movements whether it's on the trail or wherever on the sidewalk whatnot yeah.
- 29:07Yeah, you have an effect on other people. You cultivate the community you want
- 29:11to be a part of by doing that.
- 29:13Unless you just want to be a
- 29:14part of a bunch of a-hole communities or a community, a bunch of a-holes.
- 29:19And then speaking of rational self-interest, and notice that is not selfishness again, folks.
- 29:28We can go into this nuance on another, you know, we'll go into it.
- 29:32But if you show a little casual kindness to a stranger or whatever,
- 29:39or you're just patient with someone trying to trying to get it out,
- 29:43whatever, they can't quite put their words together or they're stumbling, you know, whatever.
- 29:49That might land on someone who opens doors for you down the road.
- 29:55And I don't mean literal doors. I mean, like opportunity.
- 29:58Do you know what I'm saying? Maybe a job lead or a contact, you know,
- 30:03somebody knows somebody who's in your field, et cetera.
- 30:07Or even just, you know, they remember you in the right moment when you need a favor.
- 30:13So rational self-interest lived daily, and I mean lived, turns good manners,
- 30:22which costs you nothing, into very, very smart investment.
- 30:28Investment in people. Yeah.
- 30:31Now, good manners in our society are not a foregone loss. I'm not saying that we're doomed.
- 30:37The apocalypse is around the corner. I mean, it may be, but...
- 30:42People out there, right? And there's different segments of society that practice
- 30:47good manners on a regular basis.
- 30:49And I'm talking about working class here though, mainly, but we can and should
- 30:58rebuild a culture of where it's commonplace.
- 31:03A simple way of a yes, sir, no, sir. Yes, ma'am. no ma'am. Firm handshake,
- 31:08hold the door, get the chair.
- 31:11I'll tell you one that I make it a point to practice is that if I'm sitting
- 31:17down somewhere and someone walks up to shake my hand, I stand up and I shake their hand.
- 31:25Or if I'm with a group of elders and we go to have coffee, I allow them to sit down before I sit down.
- 31:34Where do I get that stuff from? Hell, I don't know. I just know that it's good manners.
- 31:42I sit down and have food, I take my hat off my head and put it in my lap.
- 31:47Is that overly formal? I don't know.
- 31:50I'm not an overly formal guy, but I was taught good manners at some point along
- 31:54the way by various people.
- 31:57And those things have stuck with me.
- 31:59A little round Italian man named Leo,
- 32:04who had forearms the size of my frigging thighs and he looked like a little
- 32:09he was like five foot five and he you know bald he was like a character in a
- 32:15you know godfather movie or something,
- 32:18taught me that you will shake a man's hand and you will give that man a firm
- 32:24handshake that that is it anything else these that you're not a man people will
- 32:30not take you seriously And not squeeze the guy's hand off, but you got to give a firm head shake.
- 32:36That's good manners. That's one way you know you can trust to a degree.
- 32:44Now, a little side note on that. I once shook the hand of Lindsey Graham,
- 32:49the senator from South Carolina.
- 32:53And it was like a dead fish, clammy soft.
- 33:03Oh, my God. It was disturbing. It was very disturbing.
- 33:09Yeah, it was very disturbing. Where am I at, man? Golly. Golly.
- 33:16Daughter and I were discussing manners and stuff and such
- 33:19and her and her friend had
- 33:23gone down to visit with her grandmother they live about an hour south of us
- 33:28and she'd gone down to visit and and Nana had made you know little snackies
- 33:34and and whatnot and then you know not the next day but the day after,
- 33:41or the next two days later,
- 33:44my daughter sends Nana like a thank you note.
- 33:48Hey Nana, thanks for having us. We had a really great time. Love you.
- 33:52Always fun spending time.
- 33:54See you soon. That was it.
- 33:56Man, how much impact do you think that had on Nana?
- 34:00I mean, think about that, man. A gesture, a simple gesture that took my daughter
- 34:07probably 15 seconds to write, probably had a profound impact on her grandmother.
- 34:15Yeah. Little thank you note, you know, hell, go get a Hallmark card if the spirit moves you.
- 34:21Yeah. Thanks for your efforts. I appreciate you. That's it. Nothing big.
- 34:28And that right there, folks, is what you call class. I don't care how much money
- 34:33you have or what kind of car you drive.
- 34:34That is classy. That is classy.
- 34:38What else? If you're at work, you know, you might not be best buddies with everybody
- 34:42in your job, but, you know, every now and again, throw a kind word up to somebody
- 34:46who you wouldn't normally, you know.
- 34:48Hey solid works today you know thanks for picking up the slack good job simple,
- 34:55and what do you think man they're gonna go home and analyze that
- 34:58for weeks like what did he mean by that no that's well some people will because
- 35:03now we're in a neurotic society where people don't take things for face value
- 35:08they got to read into it they got to go look it up on the on the digits on the
- 35:13computer what did he mean what did he mean you.
- 35:17Today. Good job. That's one way to make your daily life just a little different, a little better.
- 35:24Hold a door. I've said this 8 million times already, especially for the elderly
- 35:28or especially for a mother toting around a couple of toddlers and an infant
- 35:34scurrying around to do her chores while her husband's at work.
- 35:38And she's got a handful and she's bumbling her way up to the door and you're
- 35:43getting ready to walk in open the damn door hold it give her a smile and then
- 35:49you know good luck whatever.
- 35:54Door without expectation by the way folks if
- 35:57you don't get a thank you that don't mean never open the door for
- 36:00someone else again oh hey don't
- 36:04don't do it with an expectation otherwise maybe it's not genuine don't do it
- 36:09with an expectation now look there's one rule here that i i learned when i worked
- 36:15construction with my cousin barry the man carrying the load gets the right of
- 36:20way And I apply that everywhere.
- 36:23If I'm on the city street getting ready to walk into a building and someone's
- 36:27carrying a box of files or a big-ass briefcase and a purse in one hand,
- 36:33a briefcase, and open the door for them.
- 36:36They have the right of way. They're carrying more stuff than you. That's just as simple.
- 36:40That's simple. But even on a job site, you know, if you're overloaded and then
- 36:45some dude, yeah, let the guy with the load go first.
- 36:49Give him space that's a
- 36:52common that's common good manners and action right there
- 36:55again man let try it
- 36:58one day do an experiment when you're in your daily commute try letting
- 37:02a couple people over you ain't got to open up the gap and then
- 37:05let everybody and their brother squeeze in
- 37:09and now you're three miles back from where you started you don't have to do
- 37:14that i'm not telling you to be ridiculous about it i'm saying if if it presents
- 37:18itself you know sometimes people are are a-holes and they they hit the right
- 37:23lane and speed up and then try to get over before the lane runs out.
- 37:27And then sometimes you got somebody who's just completely clueless to the ways of atlanta traffic.
- 37:37Do an experiment do it spend one week letting
- 37:41people in time your commute compared to
- 37:44your normal you know right see how much time that costs you i think you'll find
- 37:49out that probably it costs you about nothing and then you've allowed somebody
- 37:53else to un-f themselves that's a good one though here's one and i'm horrible
- 38:00with it and i'm trying to be better about it but here it is,
- 38:03remember names remember someone's name and use
- 38:06their name yeah very bad with names and I don't know if the military would make
- 38:13you better or worse with that but I've met so many people I know so many guys
- 38:19with the same exact name I know so many dudes who look like some other dude,
- 38:24I've been in units with with guys all around the world and then bump into them
- 38:32again And then you just, there's just so many.
- 38:34So I've always been very bad with names, man.
- 38:38I never forget a face and I'm proud of that, but that don't carry the same pull.
- 38:43Remembering someone just in general. Yeah. I think they appreciate it,
- 38:47but remembering their name, that means they take up a little bit of space in your memory bank there.
- 38:52And that makes them feel like they're maybe a little bit important or,
- 38:57or at least important enough to register. yeah man use names.
- 39:07Good one well here's one and i do this periodically when
- 39:10i can offer unsolicited help
- 39:14with a heavy lift now here's a
- 39:18little example if you work in a warehouse you know just sliding the
- 39:20jack over so you can get to it but like grab the
- 39:24other end of the tough box without some dude
- 39:28asking when you see some dude getting ready
- 39:30to wide arm a tough box it probably weighs 130 pounds just get on the other
- 39:37side and i got it bro let's do it again it ain't gonna cost you much time at
- 39:42all help him throw that tough box up on the truck and that's it thanks man right
- 39:47on boom done it's easy peasy,
- 39:51now this might be a bridge too far for some of you but hey man.
- 39:55If you see some dude pushing a hoopty through an intersection in front of a
- 40:01gas station trying to get out of traffic, throw your car in park,
- 40:05turn the key off and go help that joker push the car.
- 40:08It ain't going to hurt you. It'll help him get that job done that he's embarrassed,
- 40:12and out there struggling.
- 40:14So just help, man. Just help him push the truck or car out up into the gas station or whatever, man.
- 40:22Or if you see somebody with a flat. Now look, I did this the other day.
- 40:28And again, I say you worry about how it looks when you go to help somebody.
- 40:32But I saw a young lady at a gas station with a car up on a little,
- 40:37little scissor jack, but she was on like a sort of an incline, well, a decline.
- 40:44And it looked sketchy. And, and there was another lady standing out there with
- 40:49her and they were kind of, and there was some kids running around.
- 40:51So I pulled up. I was like, hey, can I help you?
- 40:55No, it's okay. We got it. And I was like, yeah, you know what?
- 40:58It's not a big deal. And I got out.
- 41:00Well, it ended up that I ended up having to run to my house to get my impact ranch and come back.
- 41:06But still, it's irrelevant. The point is that.
- 41:11Solved the problem themselves and good on them, man. But it was frigging blazing hot outside.
- 41:16There was a couple of kids running around and, you know, the,
- 41:20the, some of the lugs on the tire were, were stripped.
- 41:25So that was a problem. I helped them with that problem. That's all made life
- 41:29a little bit, a little bit easier.
- 41:33Yeah. Help somebody with it. You know, if it's a dude
- 41:36and this might sound a little sexist but if
- 41:39it's a dude chances are i ain't gonna get
- 41:42out and help change their tire and why would a
- 41:45lady edgar why i mean i don't know man that maybe
- 41:48that's some old residual old school stuff there but if it's an old couple old
- 41:54man yeah i'll get out possibly even i don't know i don't know i kind of assess
- 42:01like do these people look like they got they they got it squared away, right?
- 42:07Because just the other day, I went past a couple who had a flat tire in a similar situation.
- 42:12And as I drove by, I slowed down, looked, and they looked like they had everything
- 42:16squared. So I was like, okay, they don't need me.
- 42:19Anyway, point is, it's good manners.
- 42:22And if you see kids in the mix, jump out and help, man. Dang.
- 42:26What else? What's something else that's considered good manners?
- 42:31Well, leave the goddamn break room or any room cleaner than the way you find it.
- 42:39That's good manners. Don't come into a spot. And even if it's messy,
- 42:44don't come into a spot, utilize the spot, and then not make an effort,
- 42:51one, to clean up your own mess, but two, like maybe make it just a little nicer
- 42:57than before you walked in.
- 42:58That's good manners. Absolutely it is. And it's definitely bad manners to leave
- 43:03it worse than you found it.
- 43:07Stewardship for whatever space that is, that says a lot, man, about your character.
- 43:12Especially at like an auto shop, you know what I'm saying? Where everybody goes
- 43:15and gojos their hands in the sink and just leaves it a frigging wreck.
- 43:20Man, just wipe the sink down when you're done.
- 43:24Simple. It's very simple. And it's an easy way to display some small outward
- 43:32display of your character, Even if it's just for yourself,
- 43:35maybe nobody noticed you went in, nobody noticed you came out for yourself because
- 43:41you can then feel good about yourself.
- 43:44What else? What else is some good generic good manners?
- 43:50Well, making eye contact. And Gen Zers or Gen Millennials and Gen Zers hear this.
- 43:59Make eye contact. If you're at a restaurant or whatever, I don't care if it's
- 44:03a McDonald's, well, you know, they got kiosks, but if you're dealing with a
- 44:07human, look at that human right in their face and smile, make eye contact,
- 44:13hand over the payment with a smile.
- 44:15It don't have to be a big, stupid grin.
- 44:18Just, just not a frown, right?
- 44:22Just not threatening.
- 44:26Make eye contact when you're talking with someone. Now, you'll glance away. Yeah.
- 44:31And if I'm talking with my homie out on the sidewalk, right,
- 44:34in the city, yeah, I'll look at him. Hey, what's up, bro? You know,
- 44:37I'll be looking around when I'm chatting.
- 44:39I'll look back at him, make sure we're on the same page. Yeah,
- 44:43but, yeah, also I'm looking around, sure enough.
- 44:45But, yeah, making eye contact matters.
- 44:48Windows to the soul, man. Look, these things I just talked about,
- 44:53these are not big grand jets.
- 44:56That requires they don't
- 45:00require money they don't require very much
- 45:03effort at all and there are opportunities all day every day to use good manners
- 45:10they pop up everywhere almost everywhere you go even on the phone you have an
- 45:17opportunity to to be a little to be a little more kind and.
- 45:23These things I just said, these simple things, they represent very simple,
- 45:27regular guy ways to build goodwill amongst the humans.
- 45:33And they provide the general public with visible proof that you,
- 45:42as a human being, you take your humanity seriously and you have regard for their humanity.
- 45:49Yeah. And if you do this, and if you practice good manners deliberately on a
- 45:55daily basis, you will see your environment begin to change.
- 46:03You'll see it because people respond in kind. So your circle anyway will lighten up a little bit.
- 46:11Yeah. So think on these things, folks. Think on these things.
- 46:15This is what I want to talk about. I didn't want to go dark.
- 46:17I wanted something easy breezy, sort of positive.
- 46:22But if you want better conversations in your life, if you want better neighbors,
- 46:26if you want your daily life to be just a little bit better, good manners are
- 46:33the best investment you can make.
- 46:34And it is an investment because you do have to invest something.
- 46:39It shows class and you can develop that in yourself.
- 46:44You don't have to be David Niven, but you can develop a little class within
- 46:49yourself, and you can live this way.
- 46:52And if you can live this consistently and have good manners consistently,
- 46:56without any expectation, you will 100% improve the world around you.
- 47:03That's what I had for today.
- 47:07It wasn't dark. It wasn't too dark. It was pretty easy breezy.
- 47:13Tell me what you think about that. This ain't a cutting edge topic.
- 47:16I know it's not. It's not cutting edge.
- 47:19It's not trending probably on any social platform whatsoever, but it's meaningful.
- 47:27Yeah, it's meaningful. Man, let's add a little bit of meaningful interaction back into our lives.
- 47:36All right, good people. Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you all.
- 47:40Our listenership is growing, our downloads and all that stuff.
- 47:44And I'm still not doing video. These video clips are just little bites.
- 47:49I'm still not doing video. I want to wait till I have a more presentable environment.
- 47:55What do we got? We got June. So this coming up Saturday, we have Libertarian
- 48:00Party of Georgia Range Day.
- 48:03That's on Saturday, the 13th. And on 14th, we have a pistol workshop.
- 48:09So Sunday. So get in that. And then next week, I think we have is next week,
- 48:17the, I'm drawing a blank, Sons of Liberty two-gun match.
- 48:23Golly. Sons of Liberty two-gun match.
- 48:26So yeah, get in that. Check them out. Come out. Have some fun.
- 48:30We're scheduling. We do have some plenty of space for private sessions coming up in July.
- 48:36We don't have a lot scheduled at all for July.
- 48:39And I know it's hot, but we have space. Excuse me. We have space.
- 48:45Check out twoteamguys.com. Yep.
- 48:49Please give send go.com backslash
- 48:53help a homey fund that are that is
- 48:56our charitable efforts that is our
- 48:59our way to solicit donations
- 49:03so that we can distribute those done voluntarily so that we can then distribute
- 49:10those throughout right now the rome or and or atlanta areas to people who may need whatever.
- 49:20And, and look, if you know someone who could use a little help,
- 49:24if their kid needs shoes and you, for whatever reason, don't feel like you should go buy shoes,
- 49:31hit me up and we'll, and we'll go and see what we can do.
- 49:35If you know someone who needs a ride somewhere, I mean, we're not an Uber,
- 49:41but I mean, we might be able to get somebody somewhere for a job interview or something like that.
- 49:45Or if you know somebody who is subsisting on frigging ramen noodles alone,
- 49:50you know, we can get them a bag of rice, some SpaghettiOs or something, man.
- 49:56Like that's, that's where we're at right now. Right.
- 49:59But eventually we plan to grow this into a nonprofit and try to do some great, great stuff.
- 50:05All right. So that's, that's where we're at. Good people. Thanks again for listening. I appreciate you.
- 50:11Take care of each other. Use.