Latest / Iridescent: The Grief Podcast / How I transformed my grief work into a source of joy
Transcript
- Courtney: One of the most common questions I get is how are you not burned out doing this? And if you listen to my previous episode about my origin story working in veterinary medicine, in animal advocacy, pet rescue, in pet sitting, you'll notice that there was a lot of a lot of burnouts, a lot of menti bees, a lot of it's really heavy. It's really hard. the majority of my folks that see me, my clients are grieving. That is the majority of people. And I don't just work with grieving people, but there's a really special space that I am good at creating for folks that are grieving their soul pet in a way that's not religious or dogmatic I am someone who has just walked the way. I have been there as over a hundred people have said goodbye to their darling ones. That is something for me has been such an honor. And it's also something that I'm acutely aware of that that's what burned me out. But working with grieving people now does not burn me out. And I most of my clients are are sitting with heavy shit. It's not a lot of it isn't light, fun. There's tears. I have been known to cry. And it's I am not burned out in the slightest from it. I have crafted my life in a way where I make sure that doesn't happen because it's happened so much in the past that one, I know I'm susceptible to it. And two. I have made it so that doesn't happen to me. I have rituals in my everyday. I have herbs that I rely on. And my own astrological insight kind of gives me an idea of how to walk through things, how to handle myself, what to expect, even an explanation for how I'm feeling. A couple days ago I was having a pity party for myself, pity pity all day long. And then I was like, wait a minute, what's going on? Why am I feeling like this? And then I see that I'm having my my lunar return, that the moon is on top of my moon. And I was like, Of course. Like that happens to me every time. And it's something I noticed. But then I instead of panicking about it and being kind of upset or why do I feel like this? I always feel like this and kind of spiraling. I had a moment to be like, Okay, this happens, your lunar return. Every time this happens when a transiting moon is on top of my natal moon, I kind of just kinda don't feel good. Kind of have myself a little pity party. But to know that that's happening changes everything. Same thing with the herbs that I rely on. Nervines are a huge part of how I don't get burnt out. I take care of my adrenals, my nervous system. I take care of myself. It sounds so basic. But I've talked about it before too, and I actually wrote a whole substack about this. is the care. I feel like the attention in my own life and how I'm feeling, especially with something like autumn. I'll use right now as an example of what I'm walking through is every year. I y'all, I get such bad seasonal depression. Every year it somehow surprises me and I'm like, wow, I can't believe I'm this depressed. And then this year I said, you know what? We're doing something about it in fall. Because I know when winter comes, I'm gonna be miss. So if we take care of it now, if I walk on my walking pad, if I have my what is it called? Like a sunshine lamp in front of me, and I'm moving my body and I'm taking my bitters and I'm I'm taking care of myself. And not in a huge way where it has to really shift my life, but it's these little things, it's My bitters or my liver herbs or walking on the walking pad, getting to bed early. That's a huge one. But do you see how simple that is? It's not like I'm doing CrossFit and doing all these crazy things. I'm going to bed earlier and I'm drinking different teas. And I'm walking more, like really. But I I know that's going to help me. It's a lot of what I talk about with my clients too. So we're able to look at things, look at different patterns throughout our lives. And if you're someone like me who burns out really easy, that's when a reading is great because you can go, why am I burning out? It can be a physical thing. You can be physically burning out, but you can also be mentally burning out. I am someone who mentally burns out first and then it manifests in the physical. And there's folks that the opposite happens. Or you just explode and you don't know what's happening and and it's scary and it's frightening. lot of times explained through astrology. You can see it in the chart. And the way to move forward is also in the chart. It's the reasoning and the seasoning. It's it's all of it. So it's something that I feel really lucky to be able to do is be able to sit with folks that are sitting with heavy emotions. In my last episode about my origin story, there's a lot of Compassion fatigue, a lot of hurt, a lot of burnout. And that happened from you know, seeing abuse, whether that was at rescues or in veterinary medicine. You see it a lot. now it's clients that are coming to me and grieving. They are in full grief. That's heavy shit. But the way I've cultivated my life now, I'm able to hold a capacity for it. I truly understand how sacred it is to be able to hold space for that. And it's something I know I need to keep doing. So there's like a hygiene that goes into it. So for me, I don't burn out and I don't get sad. In the way that you would normally think. I feel sadness for my clients and what they're going through, even when I'm talking to people on the internet. Y'all, I love nothing more than commenting on people's posts and just being a sounding board. I just want to be there because that's what I needed. I feel like I am the me that I needed, A, when my cat died, and B when I was working in animal care. And that's something I want to say too, is if you're someone who works in animal care and you need support, you need someone that gets it, that's that's where I come in. That's what I love. It's something that I I love working with folks who are familiar with that. And know that something needs to change, but they're not sure what. So if that's you, if you're someone who is a vet tech, is a veterinarian, works at a rescue, volunteers a lot, know that there are sliding scale options within my herbal consultations that allow you to have access to herbal care on a scholarship that's to make it so you pay little to nothing. Because I believe that herbalism is a is a human right and it's something that more of us need and it's something that saves lives. It's harm reduction. So that's a long, drawn out answer. Doesn't this, doesn't this work stress you out? Doesn't it, you know, isn't it depressing? No. It is, I feel sadness and empathy for my clients, but it does not depress me. It's something that I feel so Filled with joy that I get to do, it makes me feel like this is my life's purpose. I have clients that their their dog hasn't died yet, that they're in that anticipatory phase and they're they're wondering how they're gonna make it through. And we're we're coming up with game plans. how to make it through. We're looking at time frames of Kind of when to expect things. Not necessarily predicting death, but we're saying, hey, this might be a complicated season. Let's start taking items off that bucket list. Let's start talking about those hard conversations. Let's bring this to the forefront of our minds in a way and with someone that has the capacity to hold space for that full range of emotions. So there's the before it happens, there's the during it happens. And I have clients that their cat's been dead for a year. And they and they haven't quote unquote gotten over it. And then in working with me, we talk about how you don't have to get over it. There's rituals you can do to help separate it and create a little space, but you don't have to get over it and never think about it ever again. And a lot of my work is for folks that they're not even thinking about it yet. You can have a two year old dog and you're not even thinking about it yet. I hope that my work finds you and that you're able to at least start thinking about it that way when that day comes. Cause it comes for all of us animal guardians. We think it never will and it does. And my work is here to not make that so surprising, not to make it such a a shock to your system. But to make it something that is embodied and heartled and prepared for. Because when we prepare for it, we're able to be more intentional. We're able to put thought into it. We're able to plan it out in a way that just makes sure we are held and make sure our animal companions are held with the utmost respect and compassion. It's we're not rushing for decisions. We know milestones, we know what to look for, we know how to how to read their body language, talk about diet, nutrition, things that are the whole body. It's their whole body and our whole body. That's why I'm a holistic pet grief guide. It is the whole of it. Body, mind, and soul, baby. The whole thing. All the animals in my household utilize herbs. I utilize herbs. We, if you've been around for a Lucas cancer diagnosis, Luca had mast cell tumor. We decided to cut the not we he got his cancer removed and then we took all processed food out of his diet. Our dogs get a meal cooked for them morning and night. Because mast cell tumors, there is research that it's in mast cells come from processed food. So what's a way to get rid of mast cells? What's a way to get rid of histamine? Processed old food. You know? When you buy pelletized food, how long has it been in that bag? How long is it in that bag after you open it? So something to think about that with me, it is a whole body experience. You do not need to come to me a day or two after your pet die. And honestly, I won't see you. If you did. A lot of people don't know that if your pet died within a week of when you booked your consultation, we either reschedule or you get refunded because it's not fair to put that on you that I will be able to heal that. And that's it's not me doing any of the healing, it's you. You are totally capable. You know, I don't want clients coming to me in desperation thinking that I will quote unquote heal them. You are the ones doing the healing, y'all. I just help you walk toward it. I just help carve out a path, give you some tools, hold the light while you figure out the way. That's all I'm here to do. I'm a guide. I've walked the the pathway over a hundred times. And I'm happy to be that facilitator, help you integrate. So something I don't talk about a lot is. I won't see you if it was yesterday and you book a reading with me. Skr, we're not doing that. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to anyone involved. It's not fair for your darling one. I don't just see folks in acute grief. It's well before, it's during, it's after. Or even if you're just someone who feels a little lost, you have a space here too. So know that I don't get sad doing this. I feel sadness. But I don't carry it with me. I feel really honored to do this sacred work. So if you're someone who is looking for a companion to help you walk through a difficult time, hi, hello. My consults are always open. I'm open until the end of the year. And I'll be taking a little bit of time off in January. But I'd love to have you here. If you have any questions, you know where to find me. I'm at the Cosmic Craft on everything. The period, cosmic, period craft on everything. So have any questions, you know where to find me. I'll see you next week.