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Transcript
- 0:00[SPEAKER_00]: Dating apps have changed the way we seek and find love.
- 0:04[SPEAKER_00]: One would imagine that it has made it easier to find your soul mate, or forever person.
- 0:09[SPEAKER_00]: You simply log on from the comfort of your home and search the internet for the person you believe is the most similar to you.
- 0:16[SPEAKER_00]: Perfect, right?
- 0:17[SPEAKER_00]: What if I told you that the advertised ubiquity of love in social media has made it much more difficult to find that one person who you might spend the rest of your life with?
- 0:28[SPEAKER_00]: How is that possible?
- 0:29[SPEAKER_00]: Finding someone among the myriad of people has been made easier through social media, but with all these options available, we end up wanting to try them all, not seriously committing to one.
- 0:42[SPEAKER_00]: So, we end up stumbling through relationships, suffering heartbreak after heartbreak and believing it's some kind of right of passage.
- 0:50[SPEAKER_00]: In the end, it's easy to think that the more relationships we stumble through, the more we learn.
- 0:57[SPEAKER_00]: However, have you ever wondered if a different approach might be a better answer?
- 1:02[SPEAKER_00]: There has to be a better way.
- 1:04[SPEAKER_00]: In the past, cording and arranging marriages were used to ensure a good match.
- 1:10[SPEAKER_00]: While these methods are practiced in certain cultures, it's not common in Western society, but should we adopt them again?
- 1:17[SPEAKER_00]: Would they work in our current fast-paced lives?
- 1:21[SPEAKER_00]: Who knows?
- 1:22[SPEAKER_00]: So, in what ways is the dating world broken?
- 1:26[SPEAKER_00]: too many choices.
- 1:28[SPEAKER_00]: The plethora of dating apps, such as hinge, bumble, tinder, and okcupid have widened the dating pool.
- 1:36[SPEAKER_00]: Now, you can meet people outside of your immediate circle and hopefully date, but have you noticed that the more choices and potential partners you have, the more difficult it becomes to actually pick one?
- 1:48[SPEAKER_00]: The phenomenon is called the paradox of choice.
- 1:51[SPEAKER_00]: You would think that the more options the better.
- 1:54[SPEAKER_00]: wrong.
- 1:55[SPEAKER_00]: The paradox of choice states that the more choices that are available, the more effort it takes to make an actual decision, leaving us unsatisfied with whatever choice we make.
- 2:06[SPEAKER_00]: This paradox has been observed in many different fields, ranging from product marketing to a design.
- 2:12[SPEAKER_00]: Now, imagine having so many choices when it comes to dating.
- 2:16[SPEAKER_00]: It's overwhelming, primarily because dating requires a lot of time, commitment, emotional vulnerability,
- 2:24[SPEAKER_00]: Now, having to divide those resources among several different partners is too much.
- 2:30[SPEAKER_00]: Not to mention the variety of dating apps can be intense.
- 2:34[SPEAKER_00]: There are at least five really popular apps and many more that promise you romantic bliss, which leads us to our next point.
- 2:42[SPEAKER_00]: Superficial Connections
- 2:44[SPEAKER_00]: Because you're juggling between different perspective partners, simultaneously or not, it becomes difficult to form a real connection.
- 2:53[SPEAKER_00]: What does it take to form a real connection with someone?
- 2:56[SPEAKER_00]: Time.
- 2:57[SPEAKER_00]: You need time to get comfortable with that person.
- 3:00[SPEAKER_00]: Time to know them, time to form a bond.
- 3:03[SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, many of us stumble through online relationships with expectations that differ greatly from reality.
- 3:10[SPEAKER_00]: Hollywood movies and online dating campaigns have led us to believe that you need to feel a spark.
- 3:16[SPEAKER_00]: or they have to match your vibe, but that doesn't happen instantly.
- 3:22[SPEAKER_00]: Sure, maybe you both click instantly because you like the same music or take your coffee the same way, but that doesn't guarantee a lasting relationship.
- 3:30[SPEAKER_00]: At best, you stay friends for three months.
- 3:33[SPEAKER_00]: However, we see idyllic couples that supposedly meant online everywhere, but we forget that it took work to make those relationships work.
- 3:42[SPEAKER_00]: Some people wish for an idyllic relationship, but are not willing to put in time and effort to make their relationships work.
- 3:49[SPEAKER_00]: Wanting a perfect relationship and having evidence that it is indeed possible, many of us enter online dating with high expectations.
- 3:57[SPEAKER_00]: And when it doesn't work out, we become frustrated.
- 4:00[SPEAKER_00]: But, the dating world on apps is a numbers game.
- 4:04[SPEAKER_00]: The probability of finding your special someone on the first swipe is incredibly low.
- 4:10[SPEAKER_00]: So, if you decide the dating apps is your go-to method, then don't give up if you don't make a special connection right away.
- 4:18[SPEAKER_00]: fear of vulnerability.
- 4:20[SPEAKER_00]: Not only do we make superficial connections, but we are also afraid of opening up and being vulnerable emotionally.
- 4:27[SPEAKER_00]: Online dating doesn't give us the chance to open up emotionally, or at least be genuine in our vulnerabilities.
- 4:33[SPEAKER_00]: We only open up to a certain point because we want to maintain that spark or intrigue.
- 4:39[SPEAKER_00]: But, that also happens in face-to-face meetings, too.
- 4:42[SPEAKER_00]: However, it is much easier to be yourself in front of someone than it is to be online.
- 4:48[SPEAKER_00]: Is it because expectations are too high?
- 4:51[SPEAKER_00]: This disparity between online presence and real life can make us hyper-focused in how we are perceived.
- 4:58[SPEAKER_00]: And also frustrated with our partners when they aren't what we pictured in real life.
- 5:04[SPEAKER_00]: ending up feeling lonelier.
- 5:06[SPEAKER_00]: Not only do we feel frustrated, but also lonelier.
- 5:10[SPEAKER_00]: This lonliness does not just stem from the inability to make meaningful connections.
- 5:16[SPEAKER_00]: A 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people who constantly check dating apps feel lonelier.
- 5:24[SPEAKER_00]: Why is that?
- 5:25[SPEAKER_00]: Is it caused by an empty inbox?
- 5:27[SPEAKER_00]: Few to no matches?
- 5:31[SPEAKER_00]: The study found a correlation between loneliness, social anxiety, and measured compulsive use of dating apps among college students.
- 5:40[SPEAKER_00]: Researchers found that students felt more anxious and lonely after spending excessive time swiping and looking for one more match.
- 5:48[SPEAKER_00]: That, plus an empty inbox, can do serious damage to a person's self-esteem.
- 5:54[SPEAKER_00]: So, what's the solution?
- 5:57[SPEAKER_00]: How can we overcome or circumvent the challenges of online dating?
- 6:02[SPEAKER_00]: The researches or retro practices such as fixed dates has become popular.
- 6:07[SPEAKER_00]: But it still presents unique difficulties.
- 6:10[SPEAKER_00]: While fixed dates, according, were popular and successful methods in the 19th and 20th centuries, are they useful now?
- 6:18[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever your preferred method of dating, make sure you are being honest with yourself and taking care of your mental health.
- 6:26[SPEAKER_00]: If you liked our video, don't forget to give us a thumbs up and to subscribe to our channel for more content.
- 6:31[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to hear more about love and relationship for us, don't forget to check out our videos like the only dating advice you'll ever need.
- 6:38[SPEAKER_00]: And 6 tips for a successful relationship.
- 6:42[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching!