Latest / Cash Confident with Brie Sodano / Getting Your Love on Board for Financial Change

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Getting Your Love on Board for Financial Change · Cash Confident with Brie Sodano

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano, your fearless host, personal finance expert and the visionary behind the revolutionary Cash Confident community.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Get ready to embark on an electrifying journey where we redefine the rules of money and empower women to harness the immense power to craft a life they truly, truly desire.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: This podcast is the ultimate resource, meticulously crafted, for women who are ready to unleash their financial prowess and embrace a life of abundant success.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: We leave no stone unturned as we delve into the depths of money management, mindset mastery and the undeniable influence of emotions on your financial decisions.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Prepare to rise above the societal limitations and break free from the chains that have held you back, as we equip you with the tools and knowledge to make bold, confident choices with your cash.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We believe that true financial power begins with knowledge, and that is exactly what we deliver.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So buckle up, my fierce and ambitious friends, as we embark on this transformative journey to becoming Cash Confident together.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, hello, hello.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident podcast.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano and today we are talking about getting your love, your spouse, your roommate it doesn't matter for big financial changes.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: So every episode I'm excited to talk about because this is my favorite thing and I'm the biggest nerd ever, but anyways, this is a topic near and dear to my heart because when I first started, many, many of the people that I worked with were couples, and it is a topic that, when we have it right, we can get a lot of momentum going really quickly toward the changes, toward the life that we want.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: And it is a topic where, when we get it wrong, we can end up, I don't know, with some really hurt feelings, lack of progress and all together, just less awesome.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to give you some of the things that, when I'm working with clients, we start with and we work on, and hopefully I will give you some insights and some help.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: If your spouse is a little bit of a hindrance to making financial change, all right.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: So let's just start at the beginning.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So oftentimes my marketing is really geared toward women, so most of the time it's women who reach out to me.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to say this and it's probably not 100% true all of the time for everybody, but in my experience this is what's going on.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: So oftentimes a lady reaches out to me and she wants to really change their financial reality in some way.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: She wants to be saving more, she wants to be taking her kids on vacation and she wants to be doing something different, and she's looking at where the money's been going and her spouse looks to be a problem.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: It looks like it's something that she can't really do all the way on her own and that she would need some involvement from and I'm going to just use the word spouse for this episode, but really what I mean is partner, partner, spouse Even.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Some people live together, cohabitate together, share expenses, and they're not even romantically involved.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: So this is the situation that I'm talking about, just to be clear.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: So she's talking to me about whatever her spouse is up to, and so here's the thing that does not work.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: You call Brice Sedano to fix your finances and then you tell me that something's wrong with your spouse and then I should talk to them and fix their problems Highly ineffective.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I'm a little hilarious when you say it all out, but this is a place that the conversation gets started.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: So the first thing that we want to understand is that sometimes we will use a mental technique called projection.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Now, projection is when you look at somebody else and you see their faults, their problems or whatever, but it's really just reflecting back to your kind of own little bag of crap there.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So oftentimes, when we're looking at our relationship with our money and our spouse, there is a high chance of projection.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Now what that means and what that is glorious for, is it means that that's going to show you the places that you can actually clean up your side of the street.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: So let's just I just want to say it this way for just a second so let's just imagine somebody says to you hey, I'm really feeling like I could use a few pounds and I want you to go on a diet with me.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: And you weren't looking for a diet and you didn't have a problem in that area.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: One, it's rude, like it would feel super rude to receive that kind of comment.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: You'd be like ew, no, and it's not your idea.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And so you, like are probably gonna be super resistant to the whole thing.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Well, often times that's the juju that people come at their love with, and so it's not always ladies, men do the same thing.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I've had men call me for the same thing, like, hey, my wife has a spending problem, can you fix her?
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: And I'm like ew, absolutely not.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Um, but yeah, and I have ladies calling me Like my husband spends a million dollars on fancy craft beer.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Can you make him stop?
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm like ew, no.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: So anyways, here's where we're going with this.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Is the problems that you perceive that are your spouses?
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Chances are, chances are they're your problems too.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: So we always want to get started cleaning up our own side of the street.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: There's many, many reasons for that.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: The first is is that families are systems, so when one part of the system changes, everything else has to change too.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: It's just the nature of systems.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: So if you start cleaning up your side of the street now, your side of the street is going to be neat and clean and shiny and gorgeous, and your spouse can then start to notice hey, her side of the street is a really clean and gorgeous and my side of the street is covered in litter and empty craft beer cans.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Maybe I should do something, all right.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: So that's that's one of one of the reasons where, when you're looking at changing your financial landscape, look at your projections and then just get started on whatever's yours to clean up.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: The other thing is, really it does come across as really rude and unhelpful to be like.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I don't feel great about this and I need you to do something about it.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: And it's not because it's not true.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: It's just not very effective in getting any sort of long term change.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: To be honest, like when I'm working with clients, the last thing I'm thinking about is like I'm like is this fair?
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I have air quotes up.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: I'm just like no, does this work or does this not work?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Is this going to get the result that people are hiring them for?
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Does this not get the result?
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: And oftentimes the feeling of like fairness is the thing that will hold people back for literal decades.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: So I would rather give somebody the suggestion like well, you just do it.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Then, if you want it to be different, you get the thing that you want, because in that time, that's the place where our spouses have a little time to see the difference, have a little bit of time.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And I will say that if you start cleaning up and you stay consistent with it, it does take, usually like four months.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Four months is usually what it takes, and that's just my experience.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Some people also have had their spouses hop right on board like in minutes, and some people their spouses really never get fully on board.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: All right, so it's.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: You know there's more to this.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: The other thing that happens is, once you start making the changes, you're going to start to see momentum.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: You're going to start seeing things be different.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: You're going to start, you know, seeing your money flow to different places and that's a really that gives you the things that you need.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: And then, once you have some momentum and things are going, then that's a place where you can say, hey, I've made these changes.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Is there any like?
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Is there any room that that you want to change?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Now I'm going to go over some pitfalls, if you will, where I see the trying to get the spouse on board is either ineffective, damaging to the relationship, or both.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: So one thing that is both ineffective and damaging to the relationship is being super controlling.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I will tell you, I once had a client, naked or said a married couple.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: They came to see me and she was sending her husband into the world with no money.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: She would take his debit card, she would take his credit card out of his wallet and get like he would have no money and then he would resentfully spend money whenever he had the chance and I was like, yeah, that that tracks.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: That tracks like because it's super masculating, super controlling and and I mean this man was out every day working, working, like he literally would come to my office and be like I can't even buy a cup of coffee, like it is humiliating, and I was like, yeah, all right.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: So that was one of the first things and that is the most extreme example that I've seen, but I do see lower, less aggressive levels of this come across my desk pretty frequently.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: So it could just be things like you know, you, your husband doesn't, maybe, or your spouse doesn't have access to know what's going on in the bank account.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: They have to call you to be like hey, babe, can I buy a sandwich?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Hey, babe, can I spend this money?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Um, where there's just no level of like their own, their own autonomy right, their own ability to to have have the the data information required to make like a reasonable decision.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: So super, super controlling is one thing.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Another place, that is that is a conversation that actually I would love if people had before they started to have the money conversation which is like what are our actual lifestyle priorities?
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Because that's the thing that, by the time you're talking about the money, if you're not on the same page as, like the life that you're living, then you're never going to come to agreement on the money because the money is going to fund for the priorities anyways.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So I do like when clients have some idea of the life that they're building together and that that is cohesive, right.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: So I'll give you another example.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: So one time my clients in my office they were about, they were maybe a year or two from retirement.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: They had a good, strong cash flow.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: He wanted to to use the the money and he wanted to buy motorcycles and to go on a trip across the country, um, matching motorcycles, which is something that they they were doing.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Like that was it made sense.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: And then she wanted to spend that same money on their children's weddings.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: She wanted to be able to give them both like 50 grand for a wedding each and that was really an issue of priority.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Like that wasn't even a like there was money for either or of on those goals.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Like there was like either goal could have been done and to some extent, both, both could be done.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Like they could just lower the amount that they paid for the weddings and then you know, taking a shorter trip and probably funded both.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: But it was their, their, their like issue with money wasn't about money.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: It was that they were fighting about priorities.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: So that's another thing that you, when you're trying to get your money situation clear, like it's best to start with.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Like what's the truth about what we want?
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: What is the lifestyle that would we want to create?
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: If you have children, what do we want to provide for these children?
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: At what level and where is the boundary on that?
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: So, for example, like I've had many, many clients where one person really values private school and the other person really does not, and then if the kids are going to private school, it breeds a lot of resentment in that marriage, because private school is generally a big line item.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: It's a big, it's generally a big expense if you're writing checks for tuition and so that's.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: That's a place where you want to have that conversation around your priorities and around your lifestyle before you even get to the money.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Because if you're in agreement about those things, the money conversation becomes much, much easier.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: If you're talking about money to figure out priorities, you're going to get into disagreements because it's just a backwards approach, and so it.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: It lends itself to everybody getting into all of their money junk, everybody in the conversation getting into their triggers like and really coming away dissatisfied with the result.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: So that's another place where, if you're working together as a team, get that like life goal vision painted pretty clearly and then fund it, and then fund it, rather than talking about the money to try to piece it together.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: All right, um, all right, so we talked about priorities, that we talked about control and then, all right, so systems and management.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: So this is another place where, so I teach the invisible system to stop letting money and start, uh, stacking cash, and my system is a beautiful system and it works really great.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Um, that being said, this is another thing that I see happen.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: That is, again, probably it just doesn't, it just doesn't help.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: So sometimes I'll have a client and she needs to change her work, or, you know, she needs to change her mindset.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: We're working together and then let's just say, for example, her husband actually manages the bills, like he's the one that, like you know, pays the bills, you know, organizes the finances and then she's like, well, you should, he should be using the invisible system, and I want him to do it this way, and it's like if he's already got a thing that's working and it's functional and it's working, leave it alone, right.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of like when one person starts getting excited, they're wanting to make changes to things that somebody else has already thought out, and it just feels kind of like disrespectful to the person who's already got a system that works.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: So that's another place, that that we want to acknowledge what's working and what somebody's already done, rather than kind of coming at them like what you're doing isn't good enough and there could be a better way to do it.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just, it's just a little damaging to the relationship.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: It's not necessarily super terrible when it comes to results, but it's, you know, at the end of the day, when it comes to our money and our marriage.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day, if you have a perfect financial situation but it cost you a happy marriage, like you didn't win.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Like that's the thing that I think is really important to recognize.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Like a relationship with money is a very big relationship and a relationship in our marriage or our love relationship is also a very big relationship, and so these things, sometimes there will be a compromise.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm sure there are some people in this world who have it all laid out perfect and they're in them and their spouse are on the exact same page and they have everything flowing perfectly.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you, I'm not one of those people and my clients are generally not those people.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Maybe those people don't exist, maybe they don't, but anyways, so that's it.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: And then a clear.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Another thing that's super helpful is a clear understanding of whose role and responsibility it is to do like the daily management, like who's in charge of the investments.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: And it may be the same person, or some people split it up, right, and but that's a conversation where the messiest situations, with the most amount of frustration and fighting, are people where either one of them pays the bills and they all they, they share an account.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: So here's how, here's why this.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: That is just a poor setup.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: That is just a breeding ground for problems, and it's not even necessarily about the money and it's not even necessarily about the relationship, but it just lends itself.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: It just lends itself to hating your spouse, to be honest.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: So I'll give you an example.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: So I clients come in, they both put their money, they both put their entire paycheck straight into a joint checking account and then, when the bills would come, somebody would just open them and write a check.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Now, there's no communication system about this.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: They were just kind of they, either one of them would just kind of take care of it as it happened.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: So that was a hot mess.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Often bills would be forgotten about because nobody knew.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Like I didn't notice that, I figured he got it.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: And then, because there was no system set up, they would be short on their bills and then questioning each other spending, because then it's always reactive.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: So it's always like we don't have money for the insurance because you bought the kids X, y and Z, you know that, that sort of thing.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: And then she'd be like well, you bought coffee on all these days and that's why we don't have the money.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: And it says like total, total disaster.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: So having one, a system that works for whoever is managing the money and then having some set expectation of who's doing what Right, like am I the one that pays the bills?
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Am I?
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Do I have money in my savings account?
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: What's what?
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: What is all of this allocated for?
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: All right, that's.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: That's another.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: That's another area that is Super helpful with not even just really getting your spouse on board to change anything in the finances.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: It's just having the copacetic relationship between your money and your marriage All right.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: One of the other things that we need for this to work out relatively smoothly is the Is both adults need to have their own autonomous spending money, right?
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: So in the invisible system, um, you know, I would call that a pocket money account, and I'm talking about like.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: So, first, we're saving for our investments, we're saving for our future, we're paying our bills, we're projecting out the things that we're going to need in the next 12 months, we're paying for any big, you know, upgrades or vacations or things like that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: But then in my day-to-day, you know, I'm going to need some money for gasoline, for A cup of coffee, for, you know, a martini out with the girls, and the same thing, uh, for for my spouse.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Um, that's another place that really helps.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: When that really helps that financial situations to stay Working is when we both have, uh, some amount of adult autonomous spending money, and that is relatively fair.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I will tell you at one point I had a client come in and she, uh was mostly stay at home, she was working part-time, as, like a yoga teacher, her husband worked full time.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Now, the way that they set up their money was he.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: He was working full time, so he paid the bulk of the bills, but she was responsible for, like, groceries, and she was responsible for some things.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: So the way that it was ending up happening was that, after he met all of his financial obligations, he had three thousand dollars a month of discretionary income.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Now, some of that was going towards savings and some of that, would you know, like you know, pay for dates and pay for family things.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: But when she Met her obligations, she was like negative 60 dollars a month, and so they were living in two drastically different financial realities.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Even though they were, they were sharing, you know, the same household and the same household expenses, I mean, and she was living in a big, beautiful house and obviously the groceries, the bills, are taken care of.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And so the thing is it was Not the situation was.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: So, if the situation feelings, the situation feelings were so drastically different because she was pinching pennies, she was, you know, not able to buy the groceries that she wanted to buy.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: And, again, nobody was starving in this situation, everybody was well provided for.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: But it was such a drastic difference Like that he could go, I mean, he could go out with his friends and have access to being able to spend up to Three thousand dollars in a month, you know, and she was like.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: She was like putting back the broccoli.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: So there was a very big differential between what they you know that it wasn't so.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: There was also a big differential in what they were making and what he was providing and what she was providing financially to their household.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: But what it really came down to was like that the difference in discretionary income was so vast that when she would even voice her financial concerns to him, he was like I don't even like understand what you're talking about.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Like he was like what are?
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Like what's even your problem?
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean, because he was so lavishly flush with cash and she was so tight with cash.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: So that's another place that that's just an area that we want to be aware of.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: That situation has happened many, many times where one person is like saving in their 401 K and investing in you know and feeling like they're really making progress, and the other person might be paying on massive student loans that you know, or might be having some credit card debt, or might be having a situation and that's more than that Like.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Sometimes this shows up more too when people have separate finances.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: So sometimes we have joint money and everything's going into joint money and sometimes you know that's, you know people keep it separate.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: But that's another area just to be aware of.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: And the last thing that I will say on this topic is so listen, everybody has scarcity.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: That is a feeling that we all encounter as a mindset, that we're all going to get in from time to time.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: And that is a place where we really want to clean up our side of the street and deal with our scarcity.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Because when you win, we do that, we can be so much better able to handle when our spouse is in scarcity.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: And if we come at their scarcity with a lot of judgment again, it's just less effective and it's more damaging to our relationship.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: So the thing to know about scarcity is that scarcity shows up for people in different ways.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: So some people are going to want to stock up when they're in scarcity.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: They're going to want to make sure that they have the physical things that they need.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Some people are going to want to hang on to their money when they're in scarcity.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Some people are going to internalize that and see with stress and anxiety.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Some people are going to have that outward facing and be talking about it and be outwardly expressing it.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Some people are going to want to work overtime, some people are going to shut down, and so that's another place where projection happens, where, when it comes to getting maintaining your spouse on board with your money, we have to look at our own scarcity.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: We have to clean up that side of the street diligently before we could eat, and also their scarcity is really truly none of your business and it's because you have no control over it.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: There's nothing that you can do.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: You can't really talk somebody out of scarcity.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: It's not easy, even if you're in a place of judging or whatever.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: It's also unhelpful.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: So we want to really work on our side of the scarcity and then we can bring a level of awareness to what my lover, my spouse's, scarcity looks like.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: So that way, when they're in it, I can be a little soft, I can be a little compassionate, I can be a place for them to co-regulate and move through that scarcity, rather than berating or judging them or being mad at them or telling them there's something wrong with them for having that.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: But that means that I need to be really clean on my level of scarcity for that to even really be effective.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Otherwise it won't really work.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: I'll just be kind of in my judgment and in my projections.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: So those are some things that you could be thinking about and looking at when it comes to getting your spouse on board.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to just do a recap.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: So one of the first things that you want to do is you want to have your life vision, the life that you're creating together, your priorities, your boundaries.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Again, if you have kids, we want to get clear on what we're doing and what we're not doing, on that conversation before we even bring the money into it.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Then we do want to set up systems.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: We want to make sure we know who's doing what.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: And if my spouse isn't on board, I'm just going to get started.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to get started with the hope and anticipation that he or she will hop on in a few months, because sometimes that's the truth of where we are.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: We all come to our marriages with different upbringings, with different feelings about money, with different levels of control and scarcity, and putting all of this together is not really easy.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: So if there's changes to be made, we're going to start with cleaning up our side of the street.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: We're going to work on our scarcity.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: We're going to work on our behaviors, because families are systems, so when one thing changes, another thing changes, and then we're going to get some momentum going in the direction that we want to go before we start really asking for anybody else to change their behaviors, because that's what works the fastest and most effectively.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: And then from there we're going to be kind to each other, we're going to be nice with this and we're going to really stay on top of our projections.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: So every time we're really judging our spouse or we're really criticizing our spouse, that's a great place to look and be like.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Am I doing this exact same thing?
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Am I finances and am I relationship with money?
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: And you probably are, because that's the way that projection works.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: And then you clean that up before you even talk to your spouse.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: So keeping your side of the street clean with your spending, with your savings, with your investments, with your goal, setting your scarcity, that's going to make the most difference and work the fastest from my experience.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: So I hope this was helpful.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I hope you got something out of it.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Please share this episode with all of your coupled friends.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: All right, I love you.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you for hanging out with me today.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: It was my pleasure and joy to talk with you today.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: If you found value in our conversation, I kindly ask you to share the show with a friend who deserves to unleash her financial power.
• 29:11
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• 29:15
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• 29:16
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• 29:24
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• 29:27
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• 29:31
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• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Remember, you possess the power to shape your financial destiny and, with the Cash Confident podcast and the support of our remarkable community, you are unstoppable.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Embrace your financial power, create the life you desire and let's ignite a movement of Cash Confident women who are transforming the world, one dollar, one decision at a time.