Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 204. Scout Bassett, Paralympian

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204. Scout Bassett, Paralympian · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Even when I get in situations that are challenging, or
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I go through hurdles myself, I have to remind myself of, oh,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: you've been through much worse like this is just, you know,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: a little bump in the road, and it's good to
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: look back in the past and remind yourself of what
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: you've been through so that you know, okay, I can
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: get through this too.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emileavadi here.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two oh four of Hurdle.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: A wellness focused podcast.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Reconnect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: and industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments, and
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: everything in between.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: We all go through hurdles.
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  Speaker 3: In life, and my goal through these discussions is to
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  Speaker 3: empower you to better navigate yours and move with intention
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: so that you can stride towards your own potential and
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: of course have some fun along the way.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: I am elated.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: That feels like the biggest understatement to bring you this
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: week's conversation with paralympian Scout Bassett. Scout's story this is
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: the biggest understatement is one of grit and resilience. Now
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: when it comes to facing hurdles, Scout is no stranger.
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  Speaker 3: She was born in China and abandoned after losing her
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: leg in a fire when she was just about eighteen
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: months old. She then moved into an orphanage, and we
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: talk extensively about what that experience was like for her today,
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: and was then adopted at age seven, moved to the
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: United States and adjusted to not only learning the ways.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Of a new culture, but also a new language.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Despite her disability, Bassett was always, always, always passionate about
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: sport and movement, and eventually she learned to run using.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Her prosthetic leg.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: In today's episode, we talk about what it was like
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: to get an actual prosthetic that was made for activity,
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: and then.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Her drive which carried her through.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: To run professionally starting with her time at UCLA. We
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: talk about the grit and tenacity that it took for
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: her herself to make it to the Paralympic Games and
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: what the competition was like, what that felt like, and
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: the hurdle of sitting out on competition for the twenty
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: twenty Games and instead commentating on the.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Action for NBC.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: So grateful for Scout being so willing to get vulnerable
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: and open about her experience her story truly when I
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: say it is unbelievable, her strength is just it's unrivaled
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: and it's so so beautiful. Now, I do feel like
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I have some new hurdlers in the mix lately, especially
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: after the slew of live shows last week in Boston.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: So I want to say welcome and yep, I just
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: called you a hurdler.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: That's what I call the audience.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: I'd love for you to connect with one another in
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: the Facebook group.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: It's called the Super Secret Hurdler's Facebook Group. It's not
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: secret at all.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: The link to join it is in the show notes.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: And stay up to date with what's going on with me,
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: what's going on with the show, and get more of
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: the inspiration and motivation you love directly in your inbox
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: every single Friday with the weekly Hurdle newsletter. The link
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: to subscribe is in the show notes and bonus. The
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: best part is it's free. Of course, always stay up
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: to date with the show, the guests, and me. Over
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: on social media, you can find Hurdle over at Perdle Podcast.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I am over at.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Emily a Body and while you're at it, while I'm
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: in the midst of all this housekeeping, leave a review,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: will you, It wouldn't mean the world to me. Just
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: take a few seconds head on over to the Apple
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Podcasts store or wherever you are listening to this podcast,
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: rate and review the show, Send an episode to a
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: friend and let me know what keeps you coming back
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: time and time again to Hurdle every week. And with that,
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: let's get to hurdling today. I am sitting down with
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Scout Bassett. How you doing today's Scout.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I'm great, Emily, Thanks so much for having me. Super
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: excited to join your podcast.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I am so excited to have you join my podcast.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: I'll be honest with you, the hurdler. So that's what
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I refer to the listeners of the show. They have
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: been asking for me to chat with you for some
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: time now.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Well, no pressure here, but it's quite
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: an honor for me to be here with you.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: The thing that I want to kick start off with
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: you is something that I've seen you speak about on
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: your great platforms in the past, and that is about
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: the fact that fifteen percent of the global population, that's
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: one a billion people worldwide, are living with some sort
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: of a disability, whether that is visible or invisible.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: You a paralympian.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: Do you feel as though, at this point in your
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: athletic career that your disability has almost gotten to define you.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's a great question. Yes, and no, I think
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: what is difficult sometimes is people know you for that, right.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: It's like always, oh yeah, the girl with the prosthetic
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: or the amputee or the girl with the one leg,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: and that is oftentimes sort of the thing that people
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: you know know you for. And on the other hand,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not upset about it because it is something that
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: is unique. It's obviously not super common or you know,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: every day, and so I do respect that fact that,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm very proud of everything that I stand
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: for and all the things that really make me me.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: I don't want to fight those things, you know. I
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: think so many people get in these positions and they
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: don't want to be a part of a community that
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: they belong in, right, They're resistant to that. And I
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: don't feel that way, and so, but yes, it is sometimes,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: you know, frustrating when all people know you or or
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: they the first thing they think of when they think
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: of you is not anything about who you are as
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: a person, but oh yeah, she's the one leg.
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: You know.
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  Speaker 1: So yeah, that's the part where you know obviously, and
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I think that's globally. Like I talking with people with
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: disabilities everywhere, they always say that I wish my disability
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: was just a side note and not necessarily the lead
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: to who I am, and so I can very much
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: understand that too.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: When you think about who you are at your core,
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: when you describe yourself, who is Scout Bassett.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: It's constantly evolving, I think in some ways and changing
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: just because you know I'm changing and I'm growing and evolving.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: But at the core of who I am as somebody
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: who's extremely passionate about what I do. I'm passionate about
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: my craft. Everything that I do has a sense of
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: purpose or meaning for me. I don't have a lot
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: of free time, so given that the projects, the things
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: that I invest my time in are things that mean
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: something to me and say something about who I am
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: or what I represent or what I'm passionate about. And
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: so that I would say is who I am. It's
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: just somebody who's really passionate about things, passionate about making change,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: passionate about creating pathways for others, and passionate about really
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: being the very best that I can be and not
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: just for myself but for others. And I think the
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: other thing I would say about me is I'm somebody
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: who is just extremely resilient, very strong. I've been through
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of really hard things in my life, and
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: even when I get in situations that are challenging or
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I go through hurdles myself, I have to remind myself of, oh,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: you've been through much worse like this is just you know,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: a little bump in the road, and it's good to
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: look back in the past and remind yourself of what
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: you've been through so that you know, Okay, I can
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: get through this too. So I think that I would
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: say that's a quality I'm really proud about of myself.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Resiliency. That's absolutely beautiful.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: And I really appreciated what you started off by saying that.
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  Speaker 2: Note that I accept that this is.
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  Speaker 3: Who I am, and I can totally sympathize and hear
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: where you're coming from with that, because there are some things,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: you know, whether it be circumstance or just you know,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: the way that life goes, there are things that are
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  Speaker 3: going to be out of our control.
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  Speaker 2: So I hear you now.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: But I would have to assume that, you know, maybe
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: you didn't always feel that way about your circumstance.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Can you talk to me a little bit about that?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah? I think so much of life is about things
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: that you cannot change about ourselves, right, It's things you're
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: born into. It's things that you are born with, qualities, characteristics,
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  Speaker 1: whether it's your ethnicity, whether it's the shape or size
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: of your body, or whether it's circumstances that you had
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  Speaker 1: absolutely no control over. And while I've never spent a
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: lot a lot of time wallowing in those things, certainly
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  Speaker 1: there have been moments where I'm the human part of
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  Speaker 1: me says, oh, I wish it didn't have to be
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  Speaker 1: like this, or I wish I was this and not this.
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  Speaker 1: You know, I'll give you an example. I am a runner,
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  Speaker 1: a sprinter, and I am only four nine and probably
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  Speaker 1: way the size of like a newborn calf, I'm guessing,
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  Speaker 1: and in a sport where size to some element does matter.
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  Speaker 1: When you are competing and you told the start line
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  Speaker 1: and women next to you are much taller and have
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: a lot more size than you and don't have to
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  Speaker 1: work quite as hard or as quickly as you. That's
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: those are times where you know I say, oh gosh,
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  Speaker 1: I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish
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  Speaker 1: I had a little bit more size on me. And
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  Speaker 1: obviously that's not something I can change, right, can't change
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: my genetic makeup in that sense, But in terms of
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: life circumstances, being in the orphanage, losing my leg, coming
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: here to America, being adopted, all the struggles that I've
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: been through on that journey are things that I obviously
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: can't change. And the circumstances of my experience and the
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: orphanage and having to make peace with that and to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: have a sense of acceptance of like, this is the
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: experiences you've lived through, this is your story, this is
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: your past. But it doesn't have to be something that
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: you're a prisoner of and or a place that you
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: have to be parked at forever. You can move forward
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: from those things. You can heal, you can become whole,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and if you allow it, those things can be the
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: very things that give you strength and power and really
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: help you to be all that you can be and
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: also to help somebody else. So I have definitely had
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: to have that mind shift of Okay, for so long,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: it was about survival, It was about working through these things.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: It was about coping, It was about that healing journey.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: It was about navigating the dark seasons that you go
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: through when you go experience something so traumatic, things that
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: break you down as a person. And that's what I
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: felt like I was doing for a long chunk of
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: my life is just Okay, I've just got to survive.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I've got to get through this. And now I can
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: have a sense of Okay, not only have I gotten
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: through it, but I'm going to embrace it, accept it,
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  Speaker 1: and use this as something that really powers me and strengthens.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Me right, not just how can you survive, but how
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: can you thrive with the circumstances in the hand that
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: you've been dealt. You mentioned being born in China and
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: being a bad after losing your leg and a fire
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: when you were just eighteen months old. You also talked
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: about the orphanage. Talk to us a little bit about
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: that upbringing in China.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: It's an experience that I would never wish on another
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: human being, the kind of experience that leaves you absolutely
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: broken and devastated to your core and just unthinkable things
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: of abuse, of neglect, of hopelessness, of desperation, things you
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: do out of complete desperation, really a sense of survival
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: right of every day, like I've just got to make
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: it another day. And I tell people I'm obviously a
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: big dreamer now and I have big dreams, but I
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: was not that growing up, because there was no such
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: thing as that. You never dreamt of life beyond the
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: next day, of just can I survive today to make
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: it to tomorrow. And so when I say that, I
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: am really paint a picture of such isolation, such darkness,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: and I even look back and wonder how I even
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: survived that, because it's just things that you wouldn't You
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: don't think a person could really make it through the
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: amount of pain that you live with, both physical, emotional, mental,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: and to be such a young person and to have
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: to figure that out when you're that young, you don't
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: have the coping skills, the maturity to be able to
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: handle a lot of that kind of you know, pain
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: and trauma and heartache. But somehow you do. Right every
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: day you survive, you get by. But I think that
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I can look back now and say that I wouldn't
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: change a single thing. I don't regret anything that's happened
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: as traumatic and horrific as that experience was, I know
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: that I wouldn't be the person that I am today.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I know that I wouldn't have the strength, the courage,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: the resilience, the will to keep going, to push forward
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: had I not been sort of forced into a situation
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: to develop that at such a young age. And so
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I can really appreciate that experience for that reason. To
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: say that it was hard is an understatement. It's beyond that.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know if there's a word to really describe
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: what you live through day in and day out, because
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: most people wouldn't even have a context for that. Yere
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: devastating on so many levels.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: Can you remember some of the conditions of what it
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: was like for you in that orphanage?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Mind you. I was almost eight years old when I.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Left, so right.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: People are always so shocked by that, And when you're
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: almost that age, you have the ability to form memories
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: and emotions and feelings. We never left the premises of
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: that place, So in the seven years that I lived there,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: never left the grounds of that orphanage. And I remember
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: from our playroom, or our not our playroom, but our
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: living room where all the beds are, we could see
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: a playground outside sort of this dirty window, and you
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: there was swings, there was a slide, there were some bars,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: and it kind of looked like there's something that goes
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: off in your head. Okay, that looks like something that
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: we should be on, I should be on. But instead
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: of allowing us to go outside and play on the playground,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: they hung laundry to dry over the playground, so like
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: sheets and blankets and whatnot. And it's just like, that's
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: something that's so poignant in my mind and vivid because
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I remember that being something that was really characteristic of
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: a lot of our experiences. You'd see something that or
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: feel something that was meant for you, and then it's like, nope,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: not for you, you know, and just so much of
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: those happy or potentially happy memories or experiences just dropped.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: And no access to television, books, radio, We never got
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: a formal education while we were there, and just spent
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: my days of doing chores, manual labor. The form of
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: punishments when you misbehaved, or even if you didn't misbehave,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: but perhaps they thought you were challenging their authority or
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: their control led to just unreal abuse, and I think
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: that's the part of you that you just never forget,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: you know, that never leaves you. Even with the amount
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: of therapy and work that you do and healing that
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: you do. Those are scars that are imprinted on your
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: soul that never go away. And I share that because
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I think so many people have this idea of healing
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: or they go through something traumatic, and they think that
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: in order to heal or to be whole, that those
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: things have to be completely erased or forgotten, and that
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: until that happens, you're not whole again. And that's not true.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I think you can very much heal and become whole
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: from an experience and still have very deep scars, physical
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and invisible, not a lot of away, not a lot
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: of like what were some of your best childhood memories? Well,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: mine is not gonna look like some of you know yours,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: and that's okay too, And so I just remember the
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: every day you go to sleep and you just you
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: know what tomorrow is going to be because it's the same.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: It's like groundhogs Day, where it's like the same, You're
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: doing the same thing every day and nothing ever changes.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: But then also you never really get that feeling of
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: hope that things are going to change, or that your
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: fate is something's going to be different. I think that's
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: a hard thing to sort of live through and just
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: mentally too.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course, And I believe that in doing my
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: research that there was a certain amount of time that
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: you could ultimately spend in this orphanage before you couldn't
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: stay there any longer. So you going through this groundhog's
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: day time and time again. Also so losing your friends
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: at one point or another without much of an understanding
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: or explanation.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I haven't spoken too much about this, but
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: that is a reality that is also very in itself
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: a form of heartbreak that it's just impossible to put
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: words around. Right. You have to remember that in this
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: room of five to ten year olds, there's about fifty
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: of us. You don't have parents, you don't have family.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: There's not love going around, not a lot of nurturing
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: going around. And so I mean, obviously there's adults that
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: are your quote caretakers, but the other children are really
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: your family and who you form your bond and your
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: connection with. It's the sense of we are all in
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: this together, even if it's poor, even if it's bleak,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: like just the fact that you have other people that
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: are walking through the same journey and experience is something
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: that's very comforting. And as you get older, you start
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: to get this panic because and anxiety because you start
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: seeing these people suddenly leave. And I'll give you an example.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: This one young girl was a few years older than
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I was and at ten years old at the time.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: If you were not adopted or they didn't assign you
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: somewhere else, you are just forced out of the orphanage.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: And although there's not really been a direct answer, even
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: when I went back in twenty sixteen, they couldn't really say,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: they didn't say or want to say, what really happened,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: the idea is painted quite clearly that you are just
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: you know, you're homeless more yes, And I remember that
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: in the last two years, near the last two years
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: that I was there, this girl who was a few
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: years older than I was, so she was approaching that
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: age ten year was my lifeline. She was my best
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: friend at the orphanage, helped to take care of me.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: At that time, most of the orphans were just girls.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: They didn't necessarily have a disability. In fact, it wasn't
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: all that common to even have a disability and the orphanage.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: The orphanages were just flooded with girls in a country
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: that had a one child policy, So she didn't have
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: a disability, but she really because she didn't have one,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: she helped that time. I barely had a prosthetic, but
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: just growing up, you know, up until they made me one,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: she really helped me to get around and you know,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: just was such a great, really caretaker and I formed
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: this like just to well bond with her. And then
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: in the last year or two that I was there,
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: she was just gone one day, like it would be
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: like your parents or your sibling, and one day you
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: wake up and you never see them again, and nobody
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: tells you what's happened to them where they've gone, Like
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: you have no answers. And that was for me, like,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: and I think a part of me just it's like
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: another form of grief, you know, and loss, except you
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: have no answers of what's happened to them. And that
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: for me was absolutely just crushing. And that's a common
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: thing that happens though at a certain age you age
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: out and people leave, but they don't tell you what's
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: happened to them, And yeah, that just really.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: Devastating, absolutely heartbreaking to hear that, and I appreciate you
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: for sharing that, and also so interested about what it
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: was like for you to go back in twenty sixteen.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: Not to jump around too much, but I feel like
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: I need, I need to hear a little bit about that.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: One of the if not the most profound experience of
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: my life. That's something I've always wanted to do, but
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: there's never the right times for it. Right there's nothing
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: that prepares you for an experience like that. You're never
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: going to be fully ready from an emotional standpoint to
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: handle that kind of experience. But when I got the opportunity,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: I said I would I would always take it because
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: you just don't know if you're ever going to get
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: it again. And something that was really wonderful about going
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: back in twenty sixteen is that it was the exact
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: same orphanage at the exact same location, and two years
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: later they moved to a new, new place. So I'm
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: really glad that I was able to have that experience
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: of seeing my original orphanage. Still, when I was able
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: to go back, I went into that experience saying that
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to be resentful. I didn't want to
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: be bitter going there, even though my experience was or
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: obviously really difficult, But I just said I wanted to
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: give as much love and hope as I possibly could
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: to the children. And I was able to go there
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: with my partner, Nike, and we just had this mission
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: that we were going to go. And one of the
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: things that I remember about my childhood there was that
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: we never got to quote play. There was no soccer balls, basketballs,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: jump rope, there were no like real toys and so
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: or activities. And so I wanted to come and we
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: gave just so many basketballs and soccer balls and jump
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: ropes and toys, and it was just incredible. But I
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: just wanted to share as much love and as much
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: hope as I could with these kids, and that's what
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: the experience was. We got to spend a whole day
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: there and just to be able to see the light
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: in these kids eyes when they saw me. Now, the
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: orphanage over ninety percent is with children with disabilities. For
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: them to sort of see somebody that looks like them
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: and just to be able to connect with them on
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: that level was just incredible. But what I will say
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: about that experience is that was really the turning point
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: of my healing journey because up until then I really
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: hadn't addressed a lot of what that experience, the impact
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: that it had on me my life. You know, you
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: come here and you just try to you know, assimilate here,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: and you're trying to get by and all these things,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: and you kind of really haven't had a lot of
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: time to really reflect and think about the how such
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: an experience like that leaves you right and so for
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: me to be able to afterwards, I didn't cry single
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: tier while I was there, but as soon as I left,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: there was such a I mean there was tears for
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: months after that, and I finally realized, Okay, I need
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: to go and talk to somebody and work through everything
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: I've gone through in that experience of you know, from
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: when I was a kid to come going back and
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: all of that. So it's really just a wonderful experience
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: in that sense of I think a lot of times
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: we can't move forward from something until you face the
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: very place the people that perhaps broke you. For me,
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize how long I had been parked at
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: that place of pain, of loss, of trauma until I
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: was able to go back to the orphanage, and I
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: saw that okay, Well, in the physical sense, I'm okay,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: but emotional and mentally I'm still not okay. And so
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: I wanted down a really dark couple of years of
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: having to work through that, getting therapy, medical help, all
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: of that to really heal from that experience. And I
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: didn't really know I needed it that bad, but I'm
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: really glad I was able to just confront it and realize, like,
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: this is some heavy stuff, and until you deal with
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: it and you work through it, you're you're always going
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: to be parked at this place and you're never going
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: to be able to reach your full potential.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: And to your point here, grief is in linear journey.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: As you said earlier as well, everyone that you walk
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: by on the street has their own story and is
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: navigating so much grief.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: And for you to be carrying this around not just.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: Like the emotional anguish that I cannot even fathom, but
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: I'm sure in certain ways physically also, this grief was
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: manifesting within your body in so many different ways.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you feel that right, the anxiety, the stress, the tension,
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: the physical pain, absolutely, and I think it can be
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: in some ways all encompassing, right, it can be, it
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: can fill and completely consume your mind, but it can
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: also consume your emotions and your physical state too. And
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: a lot of times we think we're okay because we've
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: had success, right, or we're doing so well, or on
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: the outside people look at you and they're like, oh,
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: but she's living her dream and she's so well, there's
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: no possibil a way she's struggling. And I think that
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: what's important is that even in the midst of living
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: your dreams, there can also be a tremendous amount of suffering.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: That's part of the human condition, and it's part of
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: the condition that we don't always want to recognize or
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: admit is there. Even while you can be perfectly successful,
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: you can be, you know, having everything, you can be
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: living your dream, you can have everything that somebody else
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: would want. And that doesn't mean that there isn't a
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: considerable amount of suffering going on. Two things can be
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: true at the same time, and that is also very
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: human and very normal to go through.
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: That both and this idea that it's not like it's
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: life without gratitude. Yes, there is gratitude. There can also
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: be suffering. There can also be trauma. There can also be,
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: as you mentioned here, so many things that those that
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: may have an opinion on the success may not be.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Seeing from where they sit.
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: We did talk about this extremely traumatic chapter for you,
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: but the silver lining is that you do come over
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: to America and you get adopted.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: So talk to us a little bit about.
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: The childhood that you remember that was a little bit
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: sunnier than what you experienced before that time.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say that obviously being adopted right up
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: there with one of the best things that's ever happened
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: to me in my life. I certainly don't think I
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: would have probably made it to this point in terms
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: of like, I don't know that I'd still be alive
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: today if I wasn't adopted. I say that because when
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: I left the orphanage at almost eight years old, I
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: weigh twenty two pounds. That's a size to toddler, I
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: mean some one year old or that by the end
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: of their first year, and so clearly physically malnourished, very weak.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, to be eight and twenty two pounds is
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: it's un almost unthinkable. And so you know, I'm obviously
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: so grateful because I know I'm alive today because I
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: was adopted, But I would also say that experience is
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: heartbreaking in a totally different way. You go from the
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: only place you've ever known, the other kids that are
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: your family, this environment, like I said, all you've ever
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: known to coming here to America, experiencing everything for the
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: first time new and not only for the first time
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: you're having these experiences, but also you don't have a
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: reference point for anything because you've never been educated, you've
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: never watched a movie, you've never listened to anything that
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: would tell you, you know what I mean. Like now it's like,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: you know we have today, you know, we can know
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: how other people in other parts of the world live
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: because with the form of media that we have access
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: to and information, but we didn't have access to any
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: of that. And so the idea of coming to America
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: and having parents living with the family, I didn't even
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: know what that was. And so and I'd never been
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: on a plane or a train, and you're just you know,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: going to school before all these new things, and so
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: that obviously was just kind of the first year. You
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: have this deep, almost like you're sick feeling in the
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: pit of your stomach of just navigating all this newness.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: But I come to a town of sixteen hundred people
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: in northern Michigan, predominantly Caucasian. I could count on one
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: hand the number of minorities that lived in this town,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: and two of them were in my family, my other ties.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: So obviously that had its own challenges, right, and then
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: I don't speak of wording in English, And oh, I
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: also have a disability, something that's not seen in our
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: entire county.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: Your adopted parents had also adopted twice before.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: My sister that came first was adopted ten months before,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: and then my brother and I came together. But none
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: of us are biologically related, got it, So, but they
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: never together, They never had children except for the ones
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I adopted from China. And yeah, there's a lot of
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: difficulties in that. And the adoption and adoptee experience is
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: also another identity crisis sort of you go through, right,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: And I think so many people don't hear a lot
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: about this because we often associate adoption as like this
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: form of like a savior complex, right, like somebody's being rescued.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: But what often happens in these foreign adoption scenarios so
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: my parents are white, I'm obviously not. I grew up
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: in a white family. But it also strips you of
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: where you come from, and you know you're sort of
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: being put in a situation where another culture's norms and
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: values and traditions and culture is being put on you.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: And you go through this like WHOA what am I? Am? I? Chinese?
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: Am I white? And my half am I?
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: And it gets very confusing, especially when you grow up
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: in a community where there's not a lot of people
• 36:12
  Speaker 5: like you to connect with, to hold on to that
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: part of your identity, your culture, your language, and those
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: are difficult things for foreign born, foreign adoptees, immigrants. It's
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: very common the immigrant experience, but it's a hard one
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: to navigate.
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I know that you ultimately ended up going
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: to UCLA. Would you say that that was really your
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: introduction into more diverse group of humans.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, and something really wonderful happened at UCLA, but also
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: was a bit confusing for me. So UCLA, I believe
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: when I left it was like four twenty four percent Asian, Right,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: we call it the University of Caucasians lost among Asians,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Like that's the real acronem of Bucla. It's the largest
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: ethnic group at UCLA, more than the number of white
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: people that go there. And so my roommate is full Chinese.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Her parents are, you know, first generation immigrants, and I
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: remember her just being so horrified in some ways and
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: shock that I wasn't more Chinese, that I didn't act
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: more Chinese, that I didn't speak the fluent Mandarin, that
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: I didn't have a rice cooker in our room, that
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't have all these you know, traditions or customs
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: that come with being Chinese, and her just being like,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: helps this possible, Like you're not living up to your identity,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: you know. And so it kind of really forced me
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: to confront the fact that from my childhood here in America,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: growing up in America, I had largely not necessarily by choice,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: but had to dismiss or ignore my Chinese identity to
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: fit in, to assimilate, to adjust, uh, to to be accepted. Right.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: But it was also really wonderful because it's also sort
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: of the chapter of my life that really helped me
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: to open my eyes and to learn to start embracing
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: that part of who I am, that to be proudly Asian,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: to uh embrace you know what I look like in
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: my features that make me Chinese and just to not
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: dismiss it. And so that was something that was wonderful
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: that came out of UCLA.
• 38:59
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  Speaker 4: Talk to me about coming into your own as an
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: athlete as well during your time in college. I know
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: that you got your first running prosthetic at fourteen, so
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: I'm sure quite the journey from getting your first running
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: prosthetic to running competitively in college.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: So I actually didn't know or hear or get recruited
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: into Paralympics until my sophomore year at UCLA, so fairly
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: late in the game. But the high performance director for
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: US Paralympic Track and Field had. I guess she had
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: read some articles that I was a triathlete and was
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: a runner. And one thing about Paralympics that people don't
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: know is there's still quite a gap between male and
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: female participation at the Games. So the numbers, unlike the Olympics,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: it's pretty much fifty to fifty in the Paralympics. It's
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: not like that. It's a little bit better now, but
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: the Paralympics hasn't even reached forty percent female athletes. Wow,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: so you can imagine even two games ago, we're barely
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: clearing thirty percent. And you know, so my point being
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: is that they were sort of on this mission and
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: still with much of what I'm doing now, on this
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: mission to get more women athletes competing in the Paralympics.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: And so she saw that I could obviously run because
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: I did triathlon, and well, I wonder if we can
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: get her over to crossover to track, and at the time,
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: triathlon was not part of the Paralympic program, and so
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: she had contacted me, and I was like, I'm not
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: really that interested. I'm having a lot of success during
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: triathlon and I really like this in running, and when
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: I went to high school there wasn't track or cross country.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: We didn't have a program, we didn't have a facility neither.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: So I didn't really know anything about track really to
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: begin with. But she just kept being persistent. Finally I
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I'll come to a camp. So the
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: camp was at the Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: and one week there and I was like, I think
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: I want to do this. This is amazing. And I think,
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: being somebody I'm very competitive in terms of sports, and
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: having largely been denied the opportunity to be competitive growing
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: up in high school sports or grade school sports, the
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: idea of competing at the Paralympics, the biggest stage in
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: the world, was just obviously very alluring to me. And
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: so that's how I got involved in Paralympic track and field.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: And obviously I didn't make the team in twenty twelve,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: but decided I would continue. And here we.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: Are, here we are.
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: You know, It's it's very impressive to me and very
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: appropriate that we started this off talking about where it's
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: like resilience, because you just touched on the struggles that
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: you faced coming into sport in high school and for
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: so many that would dissuade them from continuing on to
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: kind of investigate that a little bit more and pursue
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: that passion. For you, do you believe that that type
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: of behavior, that type of resilience, that type of determination
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: was modeled at home maybe, or where did that grit
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: come from?
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: For you?
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: Living through that orphanage experience is really what you know,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: instill that never quit, always keep fighting attitude. And you know,
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: it's funny. I started doing sports when I was in
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: second grade and it started with youth soccer. I'm so
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: excited because one thing that's really wonderful about sport is
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: it was really the only thing when me coming here
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: to America that made me feel like, Okay, this is
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: how I'm going to be able to understand, to assimilate,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: to get adjusted is through sport because sports are really
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: without borders. You don't have to speak the same language,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: you don't have to look alike. Like. That's the beauty
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: of sport, right And for me, those were, you know,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: the social cultural language barriers I was struggling with. Sport
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: was a great way for me to sort of integrate
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: myself here. But I found out something that wasn't expected.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: And maybe it was just the naive aspect of me,
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: but I could always show up, came to every game ever,
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: practiced every tournament, but I wasn't always welcome to actually compete.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: And I remember just being kind of shocked, but then
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: sort of looking back and being like why was I shocked?
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: You know? And so I every season of every year
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: I signed up for a sport from second grade through
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: high school, and I tried every and all and obviously
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: didn't have a lot of success, given at that time,
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't have a sports prosthetics. I did sports on
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: my every day walking like not made to do sports,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: but I worked hard. I showed up every day. And
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: I remember in eighth grade I wrote my softball coach this.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: Remember I don't even know if you remember this, but
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: this might show how old I am. They have these
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: papers that you put in your three ring binder, and
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: it had like lines on it, yeah, kind of like
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: trans right, you could sort of see through this, And
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I filled out one of those eight by eleven one
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: line papers and wrote her a letter to say I
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: was quitting the team and why I was quitting and
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: how I didn't appreciate the way that she was trading me,
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: and how the other girls didn't include me, and just
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: like they were so resistant to everybody else got to
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: play except me. And I'm working hard and showing up
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: every day, and like the thing is, I wasn't somebody
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: who was like real raw raw or like real loud,
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: and I wasn't in anybody's face. But this letter was like,
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: all right, I'm going to show her, you know, because
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: I would. I would show up every day, but I
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: wouldn't complain about the fact that I didn't get playing
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: time or that people were like, oh, stay away from her.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: You know, I didn't. I didn't display any of my
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: frustrations with that. So this letter I put it all out.
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: Then would you say the letter was out of character
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: for you, coach?
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: Completely? Like I remember reading it back and being like, boy,
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: is this person. You're so ridiculous? Right, And so I
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: put it in an envelope and sealed it, and I'm like,
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: I'm more to practice and giving it to her tomorrow. Well,
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: of course I wake up the next morning and I'm like, oh, heil, no,
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not giving her this letter. Because if I give
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: her this letter and tell her I'm coining, then she's
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: going to get what she wanted me not in their face,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: me not there. Clearly that was the message she was
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: sending me is you sit on the bench and everybody
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: else will play but you. And I'm like, why am
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I going to give her that satisfaction? That's ridiculous, it's silly,
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: And no, I'm going to show up every day, even
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: though I know what the end result is going to be.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: And I think there's a really powerful lesson in that.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: I didn't know it at the time, but it served
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: me while in my life, and it's the idea that
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: in any environment, whether you're in sport, whether you're in
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: a work setting, family, whatever, it might be the idea
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: of how important it is to just show up and
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: to be there, even when you don't want to be,
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: even when you know you're not wanted, even when you
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: know you are the other. And there's something really important
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: in that because of the not only the resilience and
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: the strength that it builds, but also helping them to
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: understand that the only way we get inclusion, the only
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: way we get acceptance, the only way we diversify the
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: environments we're in, is sometimes just to simply be there
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: to exist, to have other people be comfortable with whatever
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: discomfort they might feel in our presence. And there's something
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: to be said about that. And so I didn't know
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: it at eighth grade. It taught me something really valuable.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: And it was hard, though, the idea to show up
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: and to know you're not going to get to play.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: But I think that what really pushed me is I
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: just loved being out there. I love being part of
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: something competitive. I loved training, I loved working hard. I
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: loved just showing up and knowing I'm going to do
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: something today that I maybe couldn't do yesterday. And that
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: for me was really rewarding.
• 51:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and that grit in determination, it wasn't just back
• 51:34
  Speaker 4: in high school. Obviously, it carries with you through college
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: and then come twenty fifteen, when you first start training
• 51:43
  Speaker 4: as professional, A lot of that grit in determination and
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: resilience comes into play with the circumstances that surround doing
• 51:52
  Speaker 4: that full time. Talk to me a little bit about
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: what life was like back in twenty fifteen.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Well, I know you've had many incredible professional olympians and
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: athletes on your show, and typically how it works is
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: you go pro when you have a major sponsor or
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: a sponsor, not even a major sponsor a sponsor. Right,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I decided I was going to go pro, go all in,
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: and I didn't have a single commercial sponsor.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: The Scout basket way I would not recommend, uh, this
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: is the way to do it.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like, and I'm not even talking in apparel
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: brand like. It wasn't There wasn't even like a drink sponsor,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: right that was like, hey, we'll give you. There wasn't
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: even like a merchandise or a product sponsor. It was
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: just you know, what had happened is I left UCLA
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: all right, and after college I got a really great
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: job offer to work in digital media for a medical
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: device company in Orange County, California. And towards you know,
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: midway through year three, I realize, Okay, I've been training
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: still in the morning after work, and it's just starting
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: to get to be very difficult because now I'm working
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: more hours, I'm traveling more for work, and it's just
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: getting to be a little bit unmanageable. And this dream
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: of competing at the Olympics, at the Paralympics had eluded me,
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: and I thought, there's only one way I'm going to
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: make this happen, and it's if I go all in.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: Because at this level, the Paralympics is not participatory. It's
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: not anybody that's training and wants to compete can compete.
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: It's you have to earn your spot to go. And
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: I knew that the only way to do that was
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: to go all in. And I got a coach at
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: the Olympic Training Center that I had been in contact with,
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: said I'll train you, but you got to find a
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: way to live down here and get to practice every day.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: And so I naively decided, oh, I'm just gonna And
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: at this time, I'm twenty five, twenty six, maybe twenty five,
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: and I decide, Okay, I'm gonna just quit my job.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: And I knew, like this was really great first job
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: out of college, and like I had, you know, uh,
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: really great benefits. It was really good pay, I had
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: a company card. Like I'm leaving all of that to
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: be like, I'm gonna go poor and broke. I have
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: no money and uh to no sponsors, and I'm gonna
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: just do this full time. So I moved to San
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: Diego and I lived off of my friends' couches and
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: spare rooms for six months and decided like I'm just
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: going all in, and obviously, you know, we know what happened,
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: but the results were tremendous. Being able to be all
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: in full time made my way from like twenty somethings
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: in the world to top five in six months in
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: the world rankings. Then of course I got my first
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: that you know was interested. But that time was absolutely terrifying.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, whenever I think of making a change now
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: or how scared I am to do something bold or
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: big or brave, I think back on that time, like
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: if you could leave a job and go and pursue
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: your dream and have absolutely no sponsors, very little savings,
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: like and do it and go all in, like you
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: can do hard things. You know, you can do other
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: hard things. And it turned out great. But I remember
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: there would be nice I would literally tears would just
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: stream down on my pillow, being like I don't know
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: if I'm gonna have gas money to get to practice
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: this week, or like how many cup noodles can I buy?
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: You know, and just like things like that. You know,
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: It's just it was wild.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: Do you remember where you were?
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: And also like how it happened, because obviously things have
• 55:57
  Speaker 4: kind of evolved over time. But where you were when
• 55:59
  Speaker 4: you got that first sponsorship offer?
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: Was it a call? Was it an email?
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a call. And I remember being in
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: the bathroom getting ready to go to practice, and I
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: got this call from a Portland number, and I'm like,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know anybody in Portland, but it didn't look
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: like a spam like call. So I just I don't
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: even know why I picked up, because now I never
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: pick up a number that I don't like, I don't
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: have saved, but it was like a Portland number, and
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I've never gotten a call from a Portland
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: area code, right, And so I picked up. And her
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: name is Laurie Roth, and she's probably not gonna appreciate
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: me putting her name out there, but she called me
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: to tell me that she was interested in in Nike.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: She works for Nike and Sports Marketing and was interested
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: in sponsor you know, we were interested in sponsoring you.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: And I remember being like, oh, this this is not real.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: Click like I thought it was like a like a
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: spam call or like a fake call, because I was like,
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: this is not real, Like.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: You hung up?
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, oh. I was like, oh things,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: but I'm not interested, like thinking it was like some
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: sort of like somebody's trying to get me into like
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: you know, baye me into something. And so and then
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: the number calls back again. Wait, spam numbers don't almost
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: never do that, right If you hang up, they don't
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: call you back. And so I picked up and she's like,
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: I'm for real, I'm a real person. She's like, I'm
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: going to send you my email, like I can send
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: you my company like you know, my company email to
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: let you know I actually worked with the company. And
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, like I never heard of her,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: you know. And so you know, she's like I'm serious,
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: like this is not a praying, this is not a
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: space you know whatnot. And so anyways, it just, uh,
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: that's where I was, and it was incredible, you know.
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: I think what's funny is a lot of people start
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: out doing this, like nowadays, all these young kids, well,
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: how do I get a sponsor? How do I get this?
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: How do I get what you have? And I always
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: cringe in some ways when I hear that, because when
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: I started out doing this, I'm like it wasn't for
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: any of them. It wasn't. I never started doing Paralympics
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: or quit my job to do this full time, thinking, oh,
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: I can get sponsors out of this, Oh, I'm going
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: to make a good living doing this. Like I went
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: into this mindset of like I'm going to struggle, I'm
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: going to suffer, like I'm gonna be broke doing this,
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: and I'm okay with that to chase this dream. It
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: wasn't I'm going to chase this dream so that I
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: can get a nice live and live comfortably and have
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: all this recognition. Like it wasn't for any of that.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: And so when Nike and City and some of these
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: other partners came, it was all cherry on top from me.
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: It was all beyond my wildest expectations or dreams. And
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: I'm really glad it happened that way because it's made
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: me appreciate and also helped to keep me grounded of
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: why I do this the longer I've done this, and
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: to remind myself that it was never for any of this.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: And obviously it's wonderful because it got me out of
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: my car and all my friends. Thankfully my friend's couches
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: since beair room, they're more thankful than I am. But
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: you know, and obviously it's been wonderful in that sense
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: and to be able to have a platform and a
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: voice and certain that. But it's funny when you know,
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: young athletes today are like, well, how do I get this?
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: And how do I get that? And I'm like, just
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: focus on getting better, improving the results your process, like
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: the journey. Focus on that and if it's meant to be,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: it will happen. Like those things will come.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I know that you, you know, the hurdles
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 4: keep coming for you. I loved watching you doing a
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 4: lot of the commentating on NBC last year, but I'm
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 4: sure that that experience at the time was probably a
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 4: little bit difficult for you as someone who had participated
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 4: in twenty sixteen. How did you reframe your mindset to
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 4: really grab hold of the reins on that opportunity.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: It was hard. I'm not gonna lie. It wasn't the dream, right.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: My dream is not to be commentating for the Paralympics.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: It's obviously to be competing in the Paralympics. And last
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: year it was the perfect storm of everything that could
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: have gone wrong That season did go wrong, and just
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: you know, injuries and setbacks, personal setbacks and health stuff,
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: and it was really rough and it was rocky, and
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: I knew going into the trials that we were it
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: was going to be a bit of a long shot,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: you know. And obviously, up until August there was still
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: this possibility because you know, I was only quite high
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: on the alternate list, and they were thinking maybe we'll
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: get a few additional slots and you'd be one of
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: the first people to go. So I'm still training, and
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: then when we got word that they weren't going to
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: receive any additional slots, it was like the tears were
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: flowing again, you know, and it was really rough. But
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: then obviously, when the opportunity came for NBC, I've always
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: been interested in doing sports media. I'm a huge sports junkie.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, when I'm home, sports are always on in
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: the background, even if I'm not watching it, It's just
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: always on in the background. But I love it. I
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: love following sports, and so just and obviously I have
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: a really good knowledge and of the Paralympics, and so
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: when that opportunity came, I just tried to really see
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: it as like all is not lost here, you know,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: something good can come out of this if you just
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: embrace it. And even though this may not have been
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: the dream, you're gonna be able to shed light on
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: other people's stories, talk about the Paralympics, you know, really
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: amplify the Paralympics here in this country. And that's a
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: dream of mine too. It's just a different kind of dream.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: And so that was really wonderful and I had such
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: an incredible experience, but it certainly was hard. I mean
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: I remember like specifically calling my race and it being
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: like this is a little lowkward, you know, and just
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: but I think it just showed me that again, you
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: can do hard things and something wonderful can come out
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: of it. And it really sort of sort of birthed
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: this passion going forward in the future where I loved
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: it enough where I could see myself doing joining you know,
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: the sports media in the future. So that was really
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: wonderful and I think that's something I've tried to remind
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: myself of, Like, I mean, you're doing such a great
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: job of it that while you're being an athlete, you
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: can pursue other and it's important to hone other skills,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: to develop other passions interests, because one day this is
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: going to be over, and you're gonna have to find
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: something else that gets you going and that you know,
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: you're just as excited and passionate about. So that was
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: a great opportunity for them.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: Also recently you participated in the Nike Athlete Thing Tank
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: and in that experience, surrounded by so many stellar other
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: stellar athletes. Uh, do you have anyone that when you
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 4: do sit in front of them you get a little
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: bit nervous about?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 5: Uh?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: Certainly Serena. I felt that way when I was in
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: her presence at that thing. Thank it was just it's like,
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: this is sorre looms. And what was kind of funny
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: is I'd actually worked at the US Open as a
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: court attendant in my uh sophomore year of college. How
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: funny that summer and I worked as a court attendant
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: working one of her events and our matches on Arthur
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: ash Stadium, and so I actually met her then she
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: didn't remember, but not not surprisingly It's okay, but then, like,
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: you know, tell her that story. She thought it was
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: pretty cool that you know, I did that, And but obviously,
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: you know, she's just such an impressive person, not only
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: as an athlete, but I love what she's doing off
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: the court and really making herself a woman of many
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: skills and talents. And I think the people I'm most
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: inspired by Alison Felix is another one. She's a good friend,
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: but whenever I'm around her, I feel like I just
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: sound like an idiot because I get so nervous and
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: I try to like be engaging, and then I'm like,
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: but I'm talking to Allison feelings. The people I'm really
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: impressed by here are not only great athletes. There's a
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: lot of really great athletes, but the people that I'm
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: really most impressed, moved inspired by are the ones who
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: are much more than just an athlete, doing things that
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: are you know, showing that as a woman you can
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: do and have and be at all. And I think
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: that's something I really strive for because so much as
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: society still tells women that they've got to stay in
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: their lane and they have to sacrifice this to have this,
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: and and people try to put you in these boxes
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: right of what you should be doing and the roles
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: and the lanes that you should be in. And I
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: love women who have defied that and you know, are
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: saying people tell me I can't have it all, well,
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: I can't and I can do it all. And I'm
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: just really impressed by that because it's something that you know,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: I want to be too. I see myself as so
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: much more than just an athlete, and you know, I
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: think it's important for people to know that too.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 4: You just said the term I believe it was not
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 4: staying in my lane. And at the top of this
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 4: we talked about how it may feel at times to
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 4: feel as though others are defining you by your disability.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 4: When you look in the mirror, scout, what is it
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 4: that you see looking back at you?
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: You I see myself as a disruptor, a change maker,
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: a difference maker, and you know, somebody who's just absolutely
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: relentless in all things in life. And that's what I'm
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: most proud of. The other day, my coach, I actually
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: made a huge change this off season and went to
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: a new coach and a new program after being with
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: my previous coach for six years. And it's always scary
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: when you make those kind of huge career changes, life
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: changes like that. But one thing that she said to
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: me was she said, you are the hardest working athlete
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: I've ever worked with. And she works with you know,
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: elite college coaches, I mean college athletes, And she said,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: just to see that your work ethic and the way
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: you show up every day and you don't make excuses
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: and you just like you're just relentless. And it just
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: gave me such a sense of prime when she told
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: me that, because that's how I want people to see
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: me too, as somebody who is you know, just works
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: really hard, has never had anything handed to them. Things
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: have never come easily, and I want people to know that,
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: you know, in life, there's going to be so many
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: times and circumstances where it's not set up for you
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: to succeed. In fact, if it was that way, you
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: wouldn't appreciate the success as much. And we see that
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: in athletes where everything has come so easily, or they've
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: come into it in a situation where they had every
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: resource available, and it's not the same attitude, it's not
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: the same perspective. And so you know, I really I
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: want people to know that, you know, if it's all
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: set up for you to succeed, it might not be
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: the right thing, you know, and it's certainly not going
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: to mold and build you to who you want to be.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: Because the best things in life, the most valuable thing
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: wins I've gotten, the most precious things that I have
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: in my life, have all come from the really hard stuff.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: It's never come from being on the podium, winning having records.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: It's come from the hardest things I've ever had to do,
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: the hardest decisions, the hardest seasons. And I appreciate everything
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: so much more because it didn't come easily, because it
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: wasn't just handed, and that you're going to have to
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: work for it. And so that's what I really appreciate.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: For those that may be listening to this, who.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 4: May not be quite where you're at with their disability
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 4: perhaps or navigating disability on their own, what advice do
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 4: you have to offer them as they make their way
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 4: on their journey.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: Into that journey Not to resist hard things, hard seasons.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: I think so many of us the natural instinct when
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: we're hit with something really difficult, myself included, is what
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: can we do to just make this go away, or
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: to avoid it, or to run from or to cover
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: it up so that I don't have to deal with it,
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: or that I don't have to confront it. And the
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: only thing that it does is it just delays things.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: It doesn't make it go away. It just delays whatever
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: journey you're supposed to be on. And so for me,
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: I've whenever I've leaned into the hard stuff and I
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: say to myself, something good's going to come from this
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: if I allow it to. I want to grow from this.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: I want to build. I want to evolve from this.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: Like I want whatever lessons I can gain from this
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: really difficult thing, obstacle, hurdle, challenge, strouss go, whatever it
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: might be. I want to get the very most out
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: of it is I can. When I go in with
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: that perspective, uh, it makes it a lot easier. You're
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: not hiding it, you're not resisting it, and so I
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: just say whatever, if you're in a hard season or
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: approaching that, just to lean in, you know, to take
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: out and get the most of it from that. Because
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: if you're if you allow it yourself, every struggle, every
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: hardship you go through is going to teach you something
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: really incredible. The hard thing is that most of us
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: don't want to find out what that is, right, and
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: it's hard. So I would just say to lean in
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: and just you know, get the best out of whatever
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: that difficulty is because difficulties exist in life for a reason.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: It's not there to just put you on a detour.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: It's there to do something, to teach you, something to
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: grow you, to mold you, and just embrace that.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: Grace and patience. Grace and patience.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 4: You also mentioned just now, you said, just now working
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 4: with a new coach. What else excites you at the moment.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: I'm working on a couple of projects that are really
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: exciting that I can't quite talk about but just yet.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: We can come back and discuss that when it comes out.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: But those are really really great things. You know, I'm
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: only something funny has kind of happened, and you know,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: I'm more towards the sunset of my career than the
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: sun rise. But what I have really enjoyed in this
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: time is, you know, I'm aiming for twenty twenty four,
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: and what I've realized in this go around is just
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: to really relish the process more, not to be so
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: fixated on the outcome or the results. But this is
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: something that is finite, right, There's an end to this,
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: and I want to be able to when it's all
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: said and done, to say, like I loved every single
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: moment of being an athlete, even the really hard things,
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: but that I made the most of it, and I
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: loved the journey, the work, the process more than you
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: have to love that more than the result, because the
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: truth is there's a lot of failure. You know, you're
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: probably gonna lose more races than you win races, and
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: so as a result, you just have to love the process.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: And that's what I'm this go around really enjoying more
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: is just that the process of the grind and the
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: ups and the downs of that come with being just
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: you know, being an athlete, but loving this really like,
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: I feel like I love it now more than I
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: ever have, and that's a wonderful thing.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 4: I love hearing that that, Just like truly, I feel
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 4: like there are probably so many people listening to this
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 4: right now that also needed to hear that piece of advice.
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 4: Speaking of advice, the last question here for you today, Scout.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 4: Right now, you have an opportunity looking back on I
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 4: really want to say, you know, that time period dealing
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 4: with not going to the twenty twenty Paralympics, it seems
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 4: as though when it comes to hurdles in your athletic career,
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 4: that was a really monumental one. So right now you
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 4: have an opportunity, looking back on that time to offer
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 4: yourself one piece of advice, looking at that hurdle moment,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 4: What is it that you tell yourself?
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: The answer would be that it's going to be okay,
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: because in the moment and at the time when I
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: didn't make the selection, I remember just being like, it's
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: like your heart just falls out of your chest, right
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: and it's just shattered. And for a couple of weeks
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: I wasn't okay, and there were tears almost every day,
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: but I had this feeling of like, oh my gosh,
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: where do I go from here? It's the end of
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: the world, Like this is it and you just you
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: feel like it's the end of the road, right And
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: I remember just being like, and what I realized now
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: is it's not the end all be all. Life goes on.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: But also how thankful I am for all the people
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: my life at that time and now who have like
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: held me together and helped me to pick up the
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: pieces and just pushed me to keep going. And you
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: still have your best is still in you, and that
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: one day, one race doesn't define who you are. One
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: failure doesn't define you. And I think that's important to
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: keep in mind because oftentimes when we fall short of
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: our dream or our expectation, or when we don't get
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: what we want, it often feels like it's it's the end,
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: right and and a lot of times we say, oh,
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: that's the sign I must be done, like give up.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: And I'm just thankful for everybody in my life who
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: helped me to realize, like not to define myself by that.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: You know that I am so much more than that
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: one moment, in that one race. And I would say
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: that for anybody, you know, whether you don't get that
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: job promotion or that pay upgrade that you were hoping for,
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: or maybe it's something more personal, maybe you want to
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: have children and you're not. That's not happening, whatever it
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: might be, Or you want to get married and that's
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: not happening, whatever goals or dreams you have. That a
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: delay is not always denial. It just means it's not
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: right now. And I think it's important for people to
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: keep that in perspective, that a delay doesn't mean that
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: it's never going to happen, or that you just got
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: to quit it. Sometimes it's just that it's just a delay.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: It's that it's for you, but it's not happening right now.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: It's not your time. And in many ways I feel
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: like I'm a better athlete now than I was the
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: last go around, just all around, mentally, physically, emotionally, and
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: that's a really wonderful place to be.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 3: What a journey Scout. Let me tell you this combo
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 3: undoubtedly worth the weight. Ten out of ten would do
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 3: it again. How do the hurdlers follow along with you?
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 3: How do they keep up with you as you continue
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 3: along in this beautiful chapter?
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: Give us all the details.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You are tremendous. I understand and
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: see now why your podcast is so successful. You do
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: such a great job. It's just at Scout Bassett and
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: Bassett is with two s's and two teas.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: Beautiful.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 3: I'm over at Hurdle podcast an at Emily a body,
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 3: another hurdle conquered.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.