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WOKE Predictions For 2024 · Radio Baloney - The Richie Baloney Show!

• 0:03
  So as we bid farewell to twenty twenty three, the question on all of
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  our minds is what will the woke ruin next? So here are my official
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  woke predictions for the year twenty twenty four. And firstly, as we know,
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  there is nothing that the woke love more than proclaiming things racist. So
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  I predict in twenty twenty four, the woke will pronounce that boulders are rac
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  Oh. Hold on a second. Oh, they already got that one.
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  Okay, milk is racist. Oh sorry, they got that one too.
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  Okay, bird names are racist? Darn it. How about two plus two
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  is four is racist? Oh? Man? Eh? Coffee? Coffee no
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  being punctual? Oh come on, all right, it looks like we got
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  one here. Something they haven't called racist yet. Shoelaces. I mean,
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  it's just shoelaces. Right, Hold on a second, what do Doc Martin
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  lace colors mean? God damn it, white supremacy. Man, this is
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  just getting tougher every single year. Hold on paper clips, anything for paper
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  clips? Nothing, don't see anything. I think we're good with paper clips.
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  Okay, my prediction twenty twenty four, the woke will pronounce paper clips
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  are racist. I expect to see something out of Harvard. Now, speaking
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  of Harvard, embattled Harvard President Claudine Gay, who was under fire for her
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  handling of protests against Israel at Harvard and for multiple accusations of plagiarism. In
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  twenty twenty four, will release her memoirs Mind Camp, and when asked if
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  her book is just simply a reprint of Adolph Hitler's Mind Camp with her face
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  on the cover and her name, she will reply, well, that depends
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  on the context. In this context, yes, Now moving on, citing
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  studies that show jim culture is white supremacy, the Biden administration declares protein powder
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  the greatest threat to democracy in the United States slash greatest domestic terrorism threat,
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  but a crack is fine. In twenty twenty four, Cardi B will release
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  a follow up to her hit song wop or Wet Ass Pussy hap Herpies Ass
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  Pussy a New York Times op ed. We'll call it a feminist triumph,
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  not to be kept out of the woke headlines. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will
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  release his official new pronouns hair Teeth, and he will have a vaginoplasty,
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  stating because its current year as his motivation. He will say that he was
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  inspired to make this brave and stunning move, speaking with a kindergarten teacher.
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  In twenty twenty four, Queers for Palestine will be upstaged by artists who draw
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  the prophet Mohammed for Palestine. I've requested an interview, but to apparently no
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  one knows where they are. In the new year, we will see the
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  very first ever transfetus social media influencer. Speaking on the view. The mother
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  will say that the mail assigned fetus kicked like a girl. She will have
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  a gofund me account. The Biden administration will announce over two hundred billion dollars
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  for rapid transit projects across the Mexican US border one Way. The funding bill
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  stipulates a one pound of fentanyl limit per passenger and not to forget my friends.
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  In the UK, the Guardian newspaper will print an op ed on the
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  continued problem of grooming gangs. It will be titled just put on a Burka.
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  Already, the year twenty twenty four will see major upheaval in the tech
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  sector. Chat GPT will quit open AI and becoming gender studies professor at Berkeley.
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  In the year twenty twenty four, the states of New York and California
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  will raise the minimum wage to just whatever Elon Musk has per hour. In
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  related prediction news, unemployment in California and New York will reach one hundred percent
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  and everybody will blame Trump. And finally, in the year twenty twenty four,
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  Marvel, on the heels of its largest financial failure of all time,
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  will double down and introduce its latest superhero for modern audiences, Diverse Vagina.
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  Its superpower is invisibility, you know, because nobody's gonna see it anyway.
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  That's all I got to say about that. Please subscribe, like and share.
• 4:57
  Sharing really helps me out. I thank you for that. I will
• 5:00
  see you next time.