Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / Cleanin' Out The Sound Fridge!

Transcript

Cleanin' Out The Sound Fridge! · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Nobody wants to, but it's got to be done. We're
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: cleaning out the sound fridge. On one more thing.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: I'm one more thing.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: That's a lie. I like it. It's easy and fun.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I'd like to be the guy who is one more thing.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: You don't have the boy I don't.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Thanks metal guy. By the way, I love that theme, Michael.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Do we have any jokes unused from today's show? Yeah,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: we do. Okay, if they're any good, go ahead, Lego open.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: A new factory today in Vietnam that operates entirely on
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: clean energy.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: It's a state of the art facility. And oh, what's that?
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I'm being told the dog knocked it over?
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Wow, that is a very silly joke. And how about
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: that other one?
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: Well, guys, Just hours after his new tariffs went into
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: effect this afternoon, President Trump announced a ninety day pause,
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: which made the stock market skyrocket. Yeah, the market just
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: had the best day in years, jumping nearly three thousand points.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Who knew we'd reach a point where the economy feels
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: less stable than Kanye West? What I can handle the
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: daily swings in the market right now. Having a diversified
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: portfolio means you're taking Xanax, Valum and.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Kloniphant pharmaceutical humor.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: There has anybody done a wellness check on Kanye since
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: his wife dumped him last week. She tried to get
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: him committed unsuccessfully and she dumped him.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he could be like in Gene Hackman shape at
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: this point. Yeah. Wow, Okay, so this is a natural
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: sound as we say, it's just a crowd noise essentially
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: of Tim Walls at the Capitol trying to make some
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: sort of speech and he was being heckled by veterans
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Tan Michael, welcome to the Capitol. Wow, they're yelling, coward
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: and shut your fing mouth at him.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I don't like shouting people down, So I'm going to
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: stand to always be against shouting people down.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't like the heckler's veto.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: I really a quick Kanye update. He is at it
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: again on Twitter as we speak.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Is he really?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: He's fine? What's his U? What's what's he mostly talking about?
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: The Jews?
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: He Uh, He's posted a picture of himself with Obama
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: and he said, Okay, how many tweets am I at?
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Did I beat the record yet? And he's just going
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: off on a.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Thing to do as a billionaire.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Wow, he's a lot.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, troubled nut job. Here's Anderson Cooper trying to have
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: some sort of town hall with Bernie Sanders and makes
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: a fatal mistake, a terrible, rude mistake. I want to
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: introduce Grace Thomas. She's a local civil rights attornition's Democrat. Right,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: say then pronouns? Actually, thank you? Oh it's the them pronouns. Actually,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: you know what, kiss my ass, babe, sit down, you
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: get to say nothing next. Well, that's what I would
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: say if I was a little Andy Cooper.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: So yesterday Trump announced he won't take questions from our
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: reporters who use pronouns. How do we feel about that?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Fine?
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Perfect?
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Great? You're trying to drag people into radical gender theory.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Stop it, no freaking way. I don't think you're dangerous
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: or that I would hire you. If you're putting pronouns
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: in your emails, you're scaring me.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Well in that last clip, I don't know if you heard.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: When you go, you hear Anderson Cooper go oh, and
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: then you hear her go like that. She had this
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: smirk on her face, like, yeah, that's right. You you
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: apologize you misgendered me.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: It was just I have power over you.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Now right again exactly.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I want to introduce Grace Thomas. She's a local civil
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: rights attornition's Democrat. Right say, then pronouns actually thank you?
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Oh that good for you.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Wow, go straight to hell.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: They them. You know, my two middle fingers go by,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: they them, look at them right here. That's what I'd say. Ah, yeah,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: that is so frigging annoying. No, it's trying to drag
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: you into radical gender theory that the whole pronoun thing
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: is about. Interestingly, I started to listen to a podcast
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: where Barry Weiss was interviewing John mcwarter, the great linguist
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: and thinker, and he was like, no, language evolves, pronouns
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: are kind of weird. Anyway, it's fine. I didn't get
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: deeply into his ideas. I'm intrigued. I'll go back to it.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: It seems like a very academic theory though to me,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: because in the real world, people are trying to accomplish
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: something very specific by making you use their pronouns like that.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: They're trying to get you to admit that sex doesn't
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: exist except as a social construct and radical gender theory
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: is the truth and you need to accept it and
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I do not and will not, thank you very much.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: It's they them o, my lord. Oh, I so want
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: to use a really bad word right now. It'd be
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: a great punchline too. She uses they them, but she's such.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: A advance the runner by dropping the ball right in
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: front of the plate.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, Yes, softly tap the ball with your bat, yes,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: so it goes a limited distance. Yes. Oh, let's see
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: what else do we have that I wanted to play?
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: You had something from yesterday, Jack, right, the giraft thing.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Michael, I'm not sure what number.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: You're not privy to the conversation. I thought you were listening.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Perhaps you weren't paying at time this at all. Perhaps
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: we need a retraining strip to the waist and get
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: ready for your retraining.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: That's going to say. We could added all this out,
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: but perhaps we'll leave it in yesterday's twenty one David
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Murr report. Can you grab yesterday's twenty one? Is that possible?
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: A big surprise at the Maryland Zoo A k new
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: baby giraffes who officials didn't know.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: The mother giraffe was pregnant. She gave birth to a
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: six foot, one hundred and twenty eight pound girl. Both
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: are doing great. Didn't know she was pregnant, and all
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: of a sudden, the baby draft drops out of her.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: It's like that MTV show for a while that like
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: pregnant and didn't know it, or had a baby and
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: didn't know it. Remember that show. Oh that's troubling.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it happens more often than you might think. I
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: thought it was indigestion. No, it was gestation.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Just a human you never you have what do you eat?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: You have an ingestion that feels like that.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, papa's xanax or something or zantac. I guess, sir,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: what is it? Some toms xanax. We'll go ahead if
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: you want. But yeah, PEP said, thank you xanax.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: All did the same difference.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, So how about this? I think it's self contained?
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Clip twenty one Michael.
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: On American Airlines flight one ninety eight from New York's
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: JFK to Milan. American says the man tried taking a
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: seat in an exit row and challenged flight attendants when
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: they told him to go back because he was traveling
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: with a child. He was also reportedly upset he didn't
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: get the in flight meal, he requested the flight turning
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: around over the Atlantic, landing back at JFK at around
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: three am. Police boarding the plane, taking the man and
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: his family off. Airport officials say no one was arrested.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: American Airlines says that offered meal vouchers to passengers and
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: they departed later that morning. The FAA is now investigating.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Sorry, a lunatic scared you to death and we delayed
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: you by a day. Here's a free meal certificate.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: They were more than halfway to Milan too. I watched
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: the book flight tracker thing. They were, Oh, they were
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: pretty damned.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Just keep going in the west there or.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: What I don't I don't get to turn around, keep
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: going and deal with this where we land and the
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: guy was unhappy about his sandwich, so he was expecting
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: a dry turkey and he got a dry hammer. That
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: seems like an overreaction and he lost it in front
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: of his kid.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, nice job. So I think there ought to be
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: like a Miranda warning type warning that the pilot he
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: walks out. He says, sir, I need to read you
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: your rights. You have the right to continue to acting
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: like an a hole, and we will turn the flight
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: around back to our origin, as FAA rules dictate. On
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: the other hand, you should know the following. The rest
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: of the passengers now have the legal right to beat
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: you within an inch of your life, to post your
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: picture and docks you on the internet, and I personally
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: will scald you with a hot cup of coffee as
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: you're dragged off the plane.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Well, what are the penalties. They're pretty high, aren't they.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Because you're into like terrorism laws and stuff like that,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: disrupting a flight.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: They're fairly significant, I think.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: But some of the people you see go nuts on
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: planes are so completely crazy there'd be no reaching them
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: at all. But I think some of these people, if
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: you hit them with a look just before you go
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: any further, this is like twenty years in prison. Stuff
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: you're doing right here. Seriously, this isn't a minor thing.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: I think that would calm a lot of people down.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: It's not. But yeah, i'd be curious.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: So make the penalties higher. We got to make the
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: penalties high enough to make this stop. That's the whole
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: crime and punishment thing.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: What if you ask about the meal and the air
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: waitress is like extremely rude and dismissive. I mean, I'm
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: not saying you get to go, you know, aps and
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: cause the flight to be turned around. But I feel
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: like that's a mitigating factor. I feel like Southwest has
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: decided they can save a lot of money by saying
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: there's a chance of turbulence, so we're not going to
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: do the coffee serve this time because it's happened all
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: never never happened in my life, I don't think. And
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: now I've had it like three times in a row,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: and I'll bet they realize that saves a lot of money.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: I don't recommend that's all them air waitresses.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: But if I get on the flight and I'm a
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: needing coffee and you say we're not having coffee, I'm
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: gonna be close to going berserk's that's bad news. If
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: you're needing caffeine, Yeah, hey you're waitress. Get a little
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: caffeine up in here.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: Hey, I'll take my chances if it slops out on
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: my pants, that's on me. Give me a coffee. Do
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: any of you know about the traders Joe's tote bags? Yeah?
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: I thought Katie might know about that. Is that for
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: people that care about the environment, play this clip, and
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I thought maybe Katie might be able to tell us
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: I read the Trader Joe's knew many pastel colored tote
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: bags are being resold online for over one thousand dollars.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: What if you're paying a thousand bucks for a Trader
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: Joe's tote bag, you must be higher than the cashiers
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: that work at Trader Joe's.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: I know, Uh, okay, for that crowd, it's like limited
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: edition or what what the hell?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: It's like the Big Dumb Cup.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and if Trader Joe's for whatever reason, these things
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: went crazy viral and they were I'm it was like
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Black Friday at Walmart, like people going into the stores
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: the second they opened and grabbing them all.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: This reminds me I meant to play this. So Saturday
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Night Live had one of their you know, big commercial
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: song things that they did the other night about Big
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Dumb Line instead of Big Dumb Cup, and it was
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: all centered around Manhattan, but it happens everywhere in the country,
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: mocking the sort of people that stand in the big
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: dumb line. Oh did you hear in New Bagel place
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: open up? Let's go stand in a big dumb line
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: and they and they and they got to stand in
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: the long line, and then they all wait for hours
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: to get up there and say, yeah, that was pretty good,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I guess, but yeah, that crowd. I mean, you're either
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: that crowded or not.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I would never stand in line. Ever.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: If I'm gonna have to wait any amount of time
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: so that I can say I've been to the coffee shop, well.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Then how in the world are you going to instagram
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: the picture of.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: You in that line, or pay multiples of the kind
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: of cup that everybody's using, even though there are many
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: alternatives that are exactly the same to have the right
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: name or any of that sort of stuff. I would
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: never do that, but there are people that always do that,
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: And I don't know what the different genetic makeup is
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: of those people, or I see it in my own town.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: If a new coffee shop opens up, or a new
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: anything where you can eat or drink, lines for days
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: so you can say you've been there.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: What Yeah, these Trader Joe's. This whole thing happened with
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: the tote bags. Then Trader Joe's went, I know we're
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: going to release different seasonal one, but I did really
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: really ranked, you know, get these people riled up and
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: it worked, and over the weekend you could see pictures
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: of Trader Joe's posted all over the country with just
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: lines wrapped around the building for people to get.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: In to get these stupid tote bags.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: If you, first of all, I don't suppose there's any
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: point to this unless you think your friends care, and
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: if you have friends who are impressed that you waited
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: in line around the block to get the next Trader
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Joe's bag or attend the coffee shop or whatever. I mean,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: because if anybody tells me that, I'd think, really, wait
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: in line, why don't you just go next week when
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: there's no line? I would think less of you, not
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: more of you. You know what I mean. So I
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: just I don't get it.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I am texting a close associate who works at TJ's
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: to see if that's happening where he works.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: I know, the old Trader Joe's where I used to work.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, there was actually an accident in the parking lot.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: It was getting so kiock around. I mean the store
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: was out the door for these bags.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I just I don't understand. We're just built differently.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm looking online right now, so they're many totes,
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: so they're like the size of a woman's purse, and
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: they sell for three ninety nine a pop. And right
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: now on eBay, the Fall collection four hundred and fifty
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: dollars for four of these things.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Oh and again you have to have friends think that
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: makes sense.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Sorry Hanson, now you gotta bleep it. Oh well, I
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: guess that's it.