Latest / I Do, Part 2 / LOVE STORIES: Olympic Gold Medalist Sanya Richards-Ross and Super Bowl Champ Aaron Ross

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LOVE STORIES: Olympic Gold Medalist Sanya Richards-Ross and Super Bowl Champ Aaron Ross · I Do, Part 2

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories and Sonya, Richard
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Ross and Aaron Ross joining us. Now, before we get going,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: let's just get this out of the way. University of
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Texas and the two of US, University of Georgia, University
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: of Arkansas. Let's just try to get this. Let's just
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: get through this over everybody.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's all good here. It's just friendly competition.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: So God, it's good to see you. And let's start. Yes,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: right off the top. And I guess this is kind
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: of a This is the one that tripped a lot
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: of folks up, so we change it a little bit
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: this year. So put it this way in five words
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: or less, and I'll start with you, Sonya, describe your relationship.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a really good one.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: I'm happy that we didn't watch other ones so this
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: would be so authentsake, you know, you're not like prepared.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: But in five words unless which is very hard for
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: me teaching because I like to do, but I would
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: say our relationship is the most loving, like joyous place
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: of growth.
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: That's mine life.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: For me, you know, like for us. I don't know
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: if that's five words, but that's what comes to mind.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Loving, joyous, place of growth.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: That was five nailed it not shocking all right? Eron
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: how about you?
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: I would she stole my growth?
• 1:45
  Speaker 6: So now I got back, I would say our relationship
• 1:52
  Speaker 6: is exciting.
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: Damn. I want to use growth. Growth is is.
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: I think growth is the main thing, especially with us
• 2:00
  Speaker 6: together for so long. So exciting growth and a roller coaster, Guys,
• 2:09
  Speaker 6: roller coasters are exciting.
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: They are.
• 2:13
  Speaker 7: They can be scary too, though, both and you hope
• 2:18
  Speaker 7: it doesn't go off the tracks.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Now, that's a lot of stuff we could do with
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: roller coasters here.
• 2:22
  Speaker 8: But that's honest. I appreciate that. No, but that is true.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: And I think when people hear that, all jokes aside,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: it makes the rest of us mortals feel like, Okay,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: we're not alone. Roller Coaster rides are a part of
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: most relationships, even solid ones, even time tested ones.
• 2:39
  Speaker 8: I'm curious who said I love you first?
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Definitely mean and early too.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: So.
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: My husband and I met at utube and in college
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: freshman year of college two thousand and three, and we
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: were both were both on athletic scholarships. We both hadn't
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: we didn't know each other before. So I'm with my
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: sister and he walks into the CAFs and I'm like, ooh,
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: he is point.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Who is that?
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: You know? So I call him over and he introduced himself,
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: and you know, we kind of go on our first
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: DAIDA a week or so later, and I want to say,
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: probably in the first month or so.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: We're on a call and I'm like, I love you.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Oh wow Bold, yeah, oh yeah, I listen.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: I know what I want.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: Amy. I don't really play around. It's like, look, I
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: saw him. I was like, that's my husband, He's the one.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Let's do this.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then how long? Okay,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: go ahead, Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: how long before you said I love you?
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: I'll come back to my reaction. Okay, all right.
• 3:43
  Speaker 6: So to give you some context, so I saw her
• 3:47
  Speaker 6: like a year previous to when the time that she's
• 3:51
  Speaker 6: she just actually met yeah, sorry to track meet. And
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: of course I didn't want to approach. I wanted wanted
• 3:57
  Speaker 6: her to focus on what she was doing. So that
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: following year, I get back to campus, I'm asking my teammates, Hey,
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: do you.
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: Know this this girl.
• 4:05
  Speaker 6: I'm trying to figure out where she's at, who she is,
• 4:08
  Speaker 6: and then they actually told me that she had a boyfriend.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: So I was like, ah, so I kind of fell back.
• 4:14
  Speaker 6: But then this actual time right here that she's talking about,
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: when she saw me coming to the cafeteria, I'm an athlete,
• 4:22
  Speaker 6: so coaches always told me to make sure.
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: You put yourself in position and make places. She got me.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: I put myself in position.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: But to get to exactly, you haven't flotten.
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: Whole year, she didn't even know. So she went for
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: the baby.
• 4:45
  Speaker 6: But to answer your question, when she said it, it
• 4:50
  Speaker 6: definitely caught me off of surprise. And I have a
• 4:53
  Speaker 6: sweet mate, a roommate, sweet mate, and I said I
• 4:58
  Speaker 6: love you too, hung up, ran to it, ran to
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: his room like, oh man, I just told him, girl,
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: I love broth.
• 5:07
  Speaker 8: So you regretted it for that because it was so soon.
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: So I was like, am I supposed to say this
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: this early? But of course I always head over heels
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: for but that love you were and it was it's serious.
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: We've been together ever since.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all said I love you very quickly and maybe
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: shockingly so for Aaron, how long were you engaged before
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: you decided to get married? Maybe I should ask how
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: long until you got engaged and then how long until
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: you got married?
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were together for seven.
• 5:41
  Speaker 6: Years ten, two thousand and three and two thousand and eight.
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: We got married in twenty ten, but you're proposed in
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: eight So we're together for five years and then engaged
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: for two years. So we got married seven years after meeting.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: So five years into our relationship he proposed, and then
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: two years that.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: We got married.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you've been married. Now how many years.
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: Married? Since? Ten?
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Sixteen years?
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: This year?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, So tell me this What was the best year? Aaron?
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: I'll start with you, what was the best year of
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: your marriage so far? Or if you can't give me
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: a specific year, tell me what was the best stretch
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: of your marriage so far? Those early years, some middle
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: years or lately where we are.
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: Now, it's two during our career, so of course twenty
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: ten through two thousand and sixteen, it felt.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Like a fairy tale when kids yet nothing, nothing that happened.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: We ain't had no kid yet.
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: Part part that middle part we had our son in
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: seventeen through twenty two after roller.
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: Coaster Wow, and then probably I will say now I
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: would say our best year has been these last two
• 7:02
  Speaker 6: because of the brot.
• 7:04
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and it sounds like you agree with that.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say like in the beginning, even before
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: we got married, it felt like we were like on
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: this honeymoon for years, like people. It was like seven
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: eight years of just you know, relationship and marital bliss.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: And I think a large part of that too, was
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: because we were also living in our dreams. Like Ross
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: was in the NFL living out his dream I was
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: competing in the Olympics. I think that we had enough
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: space in our relationshiphere we you know, we were traveling,
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: so when we saw each other was always like we
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: just wanted to be loving, you know.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: It wasn't like we were each other.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we went like fighting because we weren't in the
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: same house all the time. I think we really appreciate
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: our times together. So, yeah, we had a really nice
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: stretch of a like literally like honeymoon bliss. And like
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Ross said, we had that tough period when we had
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: our first son and then other things to a lot
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: of changes, you know what I mean, like not no
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: longer competing in our sport, like the loss of that,
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: which feels like a death of something, you know, because
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: we have been doing it since I was I saw
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: when I was seven, and so you know, that period
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: for both of us of transitioning from sports into real
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: life and being parents and all that stuff was really
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: tough on us. And then I think now we're kind
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: of on the other side of that. So I would
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: say those first ten years.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: And now these last like two.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: That is so interesting because one of the questions is
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: did you have a honeymoon period and if so, how
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: long did it last?
• 8:21
  Speaker 8: Would you say, and I would you attribute.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Part of the fact that your honeymoon period lasted for
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: so long and sounds like it was near down perfect.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: How much time were you actually spending together. Do you
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: think having the time apart and having that time to
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: be together to support each other, but to also have
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: your individual needs being met outside of the partner had
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: a huge part of that honeymoon period.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: I think that I think the space is one thing
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: that people in relationships don't give enough kind of respect
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: to how important that is. I think that people get
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: married and they just everything's just all on top of
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: each other all at once, and that's hard. It's hard
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: when you transit from single life or whatever your life
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: was pre to like now, every moment you're with the
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: person and you're their source of happiness, it's really hard.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: And so I think for us, yes, there was this
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: awesomeness about our relationship in the beginning, part because we
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: were both so happy on our personal journeys as well
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: that I think played into it. And then you know,
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: we were young, we were just it was just a
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: lot of really amazing factors. I think that made it
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: really special at that time. And yeah, it was definitely
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: an extended, extended period.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, so the key to being happy is being a
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: part as much as you can early on. Got it.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: It's just actually it was the gift and the curse.
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: That was the gift in the beginning, but then the
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: curse came came when we had to stay and figure
• 9:50
  Speaker 6: each other out being together after retirement.
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: We had we were just in the house of twenty
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: four to seven with each other.
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: So it was just it was like the of most
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: people's relationship to where you're trying to I don't like
• 10:06
  Speaker 6: taking the trash out early in the morning, but she
• 10:08
  Speaker 6: wanted me to take the trash out early in the morning.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: So it was just so many things that we had
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: like refigure out.
• 10:14
  Speaker 6: Yeah, refigure out that we used to let each other
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: slide on because we were just so happy to see
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: each other, you.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Know, Aaron. That takes us to another question we do have,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: But tell us what is the longest stretch or period
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: of time that you all have been apart from each
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: other or actually living apart even from each other. What
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: was the longest stretches you all had to deal with
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: in your relationship.
• 10:35
  Speaker 6: I would say it's not so much living apart because
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: football season and track season it kind of its opposite.
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: So and my off season is her season, so I
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: would go where she's at, So it wasn't an extended
• 10:50
  Speaker 6: amount of time, but she would be gone maybe a week.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Two weeks, sometimes Olympics three weeks.
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: Yes, we say the longest TJ was probably a month,
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: like from like where I would be for the Olympics,
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: we would go to training camp and then I'd be gone,
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: or like Ross will be a training camp.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: I would say the longest was a month, but.
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: That happened quite off yeah, throughout the year.
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so it would be two to four weeks where
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: we'll have off and then we'll be together for like
• 11:18
  Speaker 6: maybe three months, and then we'll have another week or Yeah,
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: there was a lot of breaks.
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: In between that one year.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: So once you all ended up living with one another
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: day in and day out, there weren't exciting trips necessarily
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: that you were off to go accomplish your dreams.
• 11:34
  Speaker 8: Now you're stuck with one another. What were the problems?
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know you joked about the trash, but
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: what were some of the daily problems that started to
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: chip away potentially at your romantic, honeymoon esque clove.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: I would say the biggest one started with our with
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: their with the birth of our son. So I think
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: for us ultimately, and I think a lot of times
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: in relationships, you set out thinking, you guys have you know,
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: exactly similar goals, like everything is going to be aligned
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: on how you're going to do things, and then when
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: things don't pan out that way, it can cause like
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: a riff. And so I think I have like fifteen
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: god children, like I'm Godmother of the year, I'm Auntie
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: of the Year, and I thought I was gonna raise
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: our kids a certain way, which was completely in alignment
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: with how Ross was like more strict, like very you know,
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: structured kind of the way we grew up. And then
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: and then the babies came and I was like wrapped
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: around my little finger. I mean, he's softy, you know,
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: And so just even those types of things like understanding
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: like what parenting was going to look like for me
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: versus for him, like what my expectations were of him
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: as a father and a husband, like you know, to
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: support me. So I feel like the baby was the biggest,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: like first like kind of tornado that hit our marriage
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: because we weren't communicating as clearly.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: As we had in the past.
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: And I think also too, what was difficult for us
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: was that whenever I would try to express myself, it
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: felt like I was saying he wasn't being a good
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: father and vice versa.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: So it was really hard for us to receive.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: That because we felt like we both were in our
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: own right and so I think that was the biggest
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: challenge for us, was how do you communicate how you're
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: feeling about something in a way that still feels like
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: positive and uplifting, but you know, still get your point across.
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: And I think that was that was when we started
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: to have the challenges in our marriage.
• 13:21
  Speaker 6: Aaron, you agree with that, I agree one hundred percent. Yeah,
• 13:25
  Speaker 6: she hit it on the head. I can't even add
• 13:27
  Speaker 6: to it. Yeah, it's perfect.
• 13:29
  Speaker 8: How did you get sorry? How did you get through that?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Then?
• 13:31
  Speaker 8: I mean, how did you get help outside help? Or
• 13:33
  Speaker 8: did you just figure it out?
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: I think we started to and it took a while, but.
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: We tried to communicate as best as possible and kept
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: coming Okay, this was the major change, and you kind
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: of touched on it. What it was is we started
• 13:55
  Speaker 6: to attack the problem instead of each other. So we
• 13:59
  Speaker 6: started to attack the issue. And I think that's that
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: was the like big life for life for us. And
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: that's when things you started to see things change.
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: Things that she was saying to me.
• 14:12
  Speaker 6: I started to receive better, and I was like, I'd
• 14:15
  Speaker 6: never heard that, and she's been saying it for the longest,
• 14:18
  Speaker 6: but I wasn't receiving it that way, and vice versa.
• 14:21
  Speaker 6: So when we started to put the problem on the
• 14:24
  Speaker 6: table and said let's fix this us, let's attack this problem,
• 14:30
  Speaker 6: that's when we started to see major change.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: And this is a couple we've are a question We've
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: asked every couple as well. Did you get help in
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: working through that? Did you we all go to a
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: counselor or therapy of any kind of did you handle
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: it on your own?
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: We handled it on our own, Yeah, we we.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: And the thing is we've like I had a sports
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: psychologist through the end of my track career, so I'm
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: very open to talking to people.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: That's something that you know, Rossnein both would do.
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: And I would use my sports psychologist sometimes to help
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: me with issues in my marriage. But Ross I never
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: went together or felt the needs to go together, and
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: so no, we didn't have to get like a psychologist
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: to help us or go outside of our marriage. But
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: what I did want to add to that too was
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: just I'm just always I know that there are people
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: listening who maybe going through some similar things.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: So just some of the lessons too that we learned
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: from that.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: Because on top of that too, right, we kind of
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: mentioned it too, like we also were going through a
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: lot of life changes, and so I feel like Ross
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: went through a stage of depression first, I think, I
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: think when looking back and now I feel like I
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: did too.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: There was a point of why, you know, but there.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: He was also just kind of not himself, right because
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: football was over this kind of identity crisis of like
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: what are we going to do next?
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: You know, it's just like really challenging to.
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: Figure out what's next. Who am I outside of football?
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: And I think what a lot of people do in
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: relationships is that like when you sign on to be
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: with somebody for life, you got to understand you're going
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: to love this person at their highs and at their lows.
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: And I think people want to give up on that
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: person when they felt, oh they changed or they're not
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: happy whatever. But I feel like if you can love
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: on that person and show up for them and kind
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: of be a reflection of them being their best self,
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: then there comes a time when they're able to do
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: that for you. And so I think that that also
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: was was big for us at that time too. And
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: I think about you know, that phase of our relationship,
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: it was just really really tough. It wasn't just deuce
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: our son. It was also just a lot of life changes,
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: you know, like we were moving from allstin. It was
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: just so many things, And it would have been easy
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: at that time about this is too much like we
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: used to being bullissed.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Why are we at a two? Like why did they
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: go from a ten too?
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: Too? Start new businesses? Yeah, Yeah, it was just a lot, But.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: I think I think that that's when that's when true
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: love is really tested, and that's when you're able to like.
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: And that's why we talk about growth so much, because
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: we went through it like we had to like learn
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: to love each other again and be there in the
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: hard times and love each other unconditionally.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah y'all laughing now exactly, But it was always funny.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: It wasn't always funny, you know.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: So you know, to the points you all are right
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: now making leads us to a question we have here,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: What is the closest you all got in your relationship
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: do you think to it ending for good? Not just
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: a bump in the road, but did you have a
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: moment where you actually thought, damn, this might be it?
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, And I think
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: so I think that for that part, this was kind
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: of more on me where Okay, so thet really talking
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: about this is the public yet. But so you know,
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: as an athlete, right, like I think for me in particular,
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: I know R also agree with it to some level,
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: Like you're always chasing these goals, right, so like it
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: was like next year I break the American record, break
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: the War record, all of these things, right, and so
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: I think that when I retired, it took me a
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: lot longer to let go of that like what's the
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: next thing I'm gonna win at?
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: So it's like I had the baby, Okay, check out
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: my mom, but like what next? What next? What next?
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: And so like even like doing the Housewives, all the
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: ortunities that were coming my way, it was like me
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: just saying yes because I wanted to keep winning, like
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: I wanted to keep achieving. And so I hadn't really
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: settled into like that next phase of our life of
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: like what it really looked like to be a mom
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: and to be a wife and not be this athlete
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: or this you know person that's always pursuing pursuing. And
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: my husband I think, hey, this is this is their
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: work and the girls and so you know, my husband
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: kept trying to explain, like she tell me, like you
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: got to slow down, like this is like now we
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: need to be focused on family, like this is the thing,
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: and I'm like family, family, We got that, like what
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: else are we doing?
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: Like you know, what else are we doing? And so
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I think that in that.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: Phase, we were both really unhappy because Ross wanted one
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: thing and I wanted something else.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: And we're kind of like going in, you know, like
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: this for a little bit.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: And my husband just had so much patience, you know
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: with me in allowing me to kind of like trip
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: up a little bit.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: And then kind of come.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: Back around to like, you know what, you're right, like,
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: this is the phase of our life now where it
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: is really family first, not just me saying oh, I'm
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: doing all for my family, but like literally being family
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: first and you know, and making that shift in my
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: mind that I wasn't just this like individual athlete chasing success,
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: but I'm now this family person who.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: It's all about our family success.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: So yeah, we went through that was our I think
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: that was even worse than with Deuce, like that like
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: not being on the same page and like that concept
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: like no, and I'm also like no, we're not doing that.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, like that tugging of like what
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: do we do next? That was that was the hardest
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: time for us.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: For sure.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I so appreciate Sonya that vulnerability and that honesty because
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: I think, yes, you all had an extreme case because
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: you are.
• 19:41
  Speaker 8: Who you are and you've accomplished what you've accomplished.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: But I think so many people resonate with that, where
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: do my dreams begin and end? And how does that
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: fit in with a relationship and with a family. And
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: when you have gotten your value and your worth out
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: of performance, out of RecA ignition of that performance, it
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: is really hard when it goes away. I know that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 8: I think TJ and I can both speak to that specifically.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Maybe not on the same level, but certainly that makes
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: so much sense and being vulnerable and saying, hey, that
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: tested me.
• 20:15
  Speaker 8: I'm curious when you were in that period. And first
• 20:18
  Speaker 8: of all, I'm just curious how long it lasted.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: And and b did you ever while you were having
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: a disagreement or a fight, threatened that it was over,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: threatened that it was going to leave, say I'm done,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: did those words ever come out?
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: I would say it lasted about two years, Is that right?
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah?
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: And I like so Rossni made a pact like when
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: we first meant that we would never use the D word,
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: Like we were always like really strict about that, like
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: we're never going to use the D word in our marriage.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: Like no matter what.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: And I'm trying to think that I don't I don't
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: even think at that time we actually said it.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: I think she never told me. She might have told
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: a friend or something.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Him.
• 21:01
  Speaker 8: That's fair, that's fair question.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: To me.
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: I think we kept that promise to each other, even
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: at our lowest and never say but we felt it, definitely,
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: we felt it. We can feel like this really might
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: not make it another year, but we never said it.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: How often big or small do you fight?
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: Mm hmmm, we've been with those. The time here that
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: we were talking about it was a lot. But currently
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: currently we've been in that honeymoon phase again. Now it's
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: more it's more of a discussion and a debate rather
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: than an argument.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: That's good to hear. And that's what you're talking about, right, Aaron,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: that's growth. All right, Let's stick to the house for
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: a second. Let's go with a few chores around the house,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: some of the basic things, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Let's just
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: start with who does most of the cooking in the house.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I do, all right, I don't think. Yeah, Aaron's not
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: not even nodding the head on that one. That's uh,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: that's probably the case. Is anyone to sign a lot too?
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: So my husband will order my husband. She's not a
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Jesus a lot. But whenever we cook, which is not
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: that much. I don't want I come getting too much credit.
• 22:24
  Speaker 7: Okay, now we want to qualify it because I asked
• 22:26
  Speaker 7: her and you just said me. And when someone does cook,
• 22:32
  Speaker 7: it's right. That's an honest about who cleans?
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: We both, yeah, but my husband's more of the clean freak,
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: so he's the one. Like when he cleans, I got
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: to move everything out of the way because he might
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: throw me away.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, that.
• 22:48
  Speaker 8: And what about laundry.
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: She won't let me do the laundry. She would do
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: the laundry, and I'm a better folder. She she does
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: the laundry well, and I fold fold.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: You'll put the colors with the whites.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, look this everything, I got it, you know,
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: on behalf of all guys everywhere. Does it really matter?
• 23:07
  Speaker 8: Yes, it absolutely does. The white turned gray or pink?
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: It does it?
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Though they do?
• 23:15
  Speaker 8: Yes, it matters, it mattered.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, thanks, okay, fun, Actually we just played dumb, so
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: y'all keep doing it.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: You're such because you know I'm a better folder than
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: he is of the clothes, so therefore I actually like
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: folding clothes, though I fully honest, I get a sense
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: of accomplishment sadly from that.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: And you know what, and Sonya too, since Sonya you
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: were being honest, we will be honest. We do wash
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: and fold here in New York, like we have we
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: we send it out anyway, nobody does. Somebody else does
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: our launder.
• 23:44
  Speaker 8: That's a new thing though. It's because we don't have
• 23:49
  Speaker 8: a washer and dryer in this apartment. Otherwise we would
• 23:52
  Speaker 8: absolutely do it.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: It's a long store. We'll get back to you. Let's
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: stick with this in the house for a second. We're
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: talking about fighting. You all don't. Don't do the fighting
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: as much now, But what do you think about the idea?
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Did you all ever go to bed angry? Some couple
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: say you absolutely should, shouldn't. Some therapists say, hell, yeah,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: it's okay. To where do you all fall in now?
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: We definitely did. I think it's good now, but we
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: definitely I would. I would go to my little boom
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: boom room and get away. Yeah, and I'll sleep down there.
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: Some nights when it felt like we weren't just couldn't agree,
• 24:32
  Speaker 6: or even it wasn't even about agreeing. It was more
• 24:36
  Speaker 6: about us leaving a conversation feeling like.
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: We weren't heard. Yeah, both both ways. So I think
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: that's what it was. Frustrated both of us, like you're
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: not hearing what I'm saying.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's I think it's unrealistic to say
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: never go to bed angry, Like that's just it's I
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: think it's impossible. If you've been with somebody for twenty
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: plus years, there's just no way you're going to be
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: like every night, if there's something happened, we're gonna make
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: up tonight and go to bed happy. It's just it's
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: a nice goal to set. It's a nice you know,
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: it's a nice thing to try to achieve. But I
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: think it's unrealistic to say that every night you're gonna
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: go to bed happy. I think that, and I think
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: sometimes you need that time, Like sometimes the day runs
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: out and you need I just need a moment.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Maybe tomorrow we can address the issue.
• 25:20
  Speaker 6: So yeah, And it's not to cut you off with it,
• 25:22
  Speaker 6: but it's been a few times where I went down
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: to the boom boom room and had a chance to
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: kind of decompress, and I might have came back up
• 25:29
  Speaker 6: and were like, oh damn, I was tripping baby, my bad.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's so good to hear. I know, I
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: don't want to harp on the two years that were tough.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: And I'm curious.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: I'm curious how you got out of it. How did
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: you get out of it? How did you stop that cycle?
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: Oh man, good, good question. I think you know, first
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: of all, we are praying couple, so we will pray.
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: We're actually fasting right now, so we praying fast so
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: you know, we keep God in the center of our marriage.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: So that's number one.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: And I think that through a lot of those tough times,
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: prayer has really helped us, you know. And we'll be
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: mad now, grab his hand and just start praying. Now,
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: how are you gonna imagine why she.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: Get mad at me? I'm praying for you, you know.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: So I think prayer and then once again communication like
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: my husband and I I think that has been the
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: beauty of our marriage. Like we say the hard things,
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: you know, we we communicate to a fault. So I
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: think that that is what really helped us, was like
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: just really trying to communicate and get to a good
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: place of you know, like and then and.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: Then and then change behavior.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Let's let's give, let's give a little recognition to that
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: as well. Like you know, if you're in a relationship
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: and your partner is asking for something and it's something
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: that is valid, and you want to stay in that situation,
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: and you gotta have change behavior. So I think for me,
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: when I talk about those two years of us not
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: being on the same page, there was change behavior.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: Like I was like, you know what, like I do,
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: Respect what you're saying. I do want to honor my
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: family in this way, and I may change. So that
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: also helps to bring back the joy and the love
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: to relationship is when you change, you know.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: I think everyone wants to know, and I'm sure everyone
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: asks folks like you who have made it through the
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: tough times life's roller coaster and looking back now, what
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: relationship advice would you give other couples, So, someone who's
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: considering marriage, someone who's considering taking that next step in
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: their relationship.
• 27:28
  Speaker 8: When you think about the mistakes couples make, the mistakes.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Even you've made, what would be your best advice for
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: a happy relationship.
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: I go back to growth.
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: Be willing to grow with your partner and understand the
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: growth that he or she, what journey they're on. Because
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: if you're like for us, we've been together for twenty years.
• 27:53
  Speaker 6: And I've said this before, it's felt like I've been
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: married to four different women. I've had to learn and
• 28:01
  Speaker 6: relearn and relearn my wife and try to mold who
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: I've become because I'm also growing in a way as well,
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: so trying to just relearn and fall in love with
• 28:13
  Speaker 6: each other again. And then I think, like I mentioned before,
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: the most important thing for me to give advice for
• 28:21
  Speaker 6: is basically to attack the problem sometimes. I know as athletes,
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: you always you're almost triggered to win, and if you're
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: not winning, you're losing. There's no great So we've we've
• 28:34
  Speaker 6: kind of learned to let's win and attack the problem together.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: And I think that's the best advice that I.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Can give married the four different signs, which one was
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: your favorite? Ok So I'm kidding, Aaron, do not answer
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: that question. Just playing, just playing here, Okay, just kidding
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: you all. I want to ask about friendship. People say
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: it all the time, married to my best friend, and
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: that you hear that kind of stuff. Where does friendship
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: play in you all's relationship? What was the friendship even
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: before you started dating or did it not really develop
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: until you started an actual romantic relationship.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you gotta be friends. You have to
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: be friends.
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: You have to actually like the person that you're doing
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: life with. So I think friendship is extremely important. I
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: remember when we went to marriage counseling before we got married,
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: or pastor required that we do marriage counseling, and he
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: said one of the key things he said was that
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: she has to be a friend because everything else eventually
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: will fall off, right, Like, yes, you know you're gonna
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: romance to the death of it, but eventually even that
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: will fade, right like all those things. So friendship is
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: really important. So for us, No, we didn't have a
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: friendship prior to us dating. You know, we met in
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: college and our intentions were to kind of be boyfriend
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: girlfrienm the very beginning. But boy, did we build a
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: beautiful friendship along the way. Like we laughed together. I
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: could be with Ross, just me and Ross all the time.
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: I don't have to, you know, be with anybody else
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: because we get each other. We laugh together like we're friends.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: So I certainly think that that is extremely important that
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: the person that you choose to marry should be someone
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: that you like that you have a great friendship with
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: and you know, because that's what's going to help you
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: to stand the test of time. It's like, how much
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: do you actually really like this person?
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: You know, like it's rough.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: What compromises maybe even sacrifices have you each had to
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: make to make the relationship work.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: That's a good question. I mean, that's a good question. No,
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: no one has ever asked us that. That's a really
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: good question. You want to go first, Bade, Yeah, No,
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: that's that's a really good question. I think that because
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: because the reality is like I'm not I don't like
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: the world's words sacrifice someone I could always feel as negative.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: But it's like you're making this investment right, something that
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: you may not want to do because you want to.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: Like in sports, I'm not sacrificing my time. I'm investing
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: my time because I want to be great, and so
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: I like to to keep that same lens on for
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: a relationship. But sometimes it does feel like sacrifice because
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: you are giving up something that's important to you to
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: make this other person happy.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: So I think that we've sacrificed a lot, you know,
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: like through our relationship.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: Like even I can think about for my husband, like
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: he when he would have his off season where he
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: should be training with the team because I was in season,
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: he would come and be with me, And there was
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: there was something lost there right, like he could have
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: gotten become a better athlete himself or built more team camaraderie,
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: but he chose to come be with me. That that
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: was always a major sacrifice, you know, and vice versa.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: I would go do my off season training in New
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: York it was freezing cold instead of being in Texas
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: training with my teammates because I'm wanted to spend that
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: time with him. So I think if we were to
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: really think about our relationship throughout the years, there were
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: tons of times we were both making sacrifices. My husband
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: started our chauffeur company in Texas, so we talked about
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: that time when he retired and figured out what he
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: wants to do next, and we started a show for
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: company and it was doing really well. And then I
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: got an opportunity to come to Atlanta for a job,
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: and my husband left Texas, left the business and came
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: to Atlanta for us for me to pursue that opportunity.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: So I just think there's this constant sacrificing and you know,
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: giving to your partner, whether it's for them to live
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: their dream or for them.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: To be happy.
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: That's always happening in a relationship, and I think the
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: important thing to do is to just make sure that
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: it feels balanced because at some point in a relationship,
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: if it starts to feel like it's too heavy on
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: one person, then that person is going to start to
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: harbor resentment. And so you know, for me, I try
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: to be really mindful like my husband, I think he's
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: going to be. I'm saying it on national platform like
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: the head coach of the University of Texas one day,
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: because I think he's like an amazing coach, but because
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: of life sacrifices, he hasn't finished, like, you know, all
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: the things that he needs to do to be able
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: to do that. So I'm like, okay, babe, it's your turn,
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: Like what are we going to do for you to
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: get starting on your coaching journey?
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: And you know, do your thing.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: So I think that we're all constantly making sacrifices for relationship,
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: but you got to check in with your partner and
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: make sure it's not too heavy.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: On one side.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Good and she gave you time to think of a
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: really good answer rather than answered like ten of them.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: The last few things before we let you all go
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: back to this is I forgot that we moved it
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: too far down. Money. How do you want handle money
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: in the house. There's always a thing with couples, joint accounts,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: separate accounts. How does it work with you guys?
• 33:38
  Speaker 6: We have all three have my account, her account, and
• 33:42
  Speaker 6: then we have a joint account. But I do most
• 33:45
  Speaker 6: of them managing the money.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: I'm a yellow girl. So thank God for rosscause, oh.
• 33:51
  Speaker 6: Wow, I'm.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: That's balance. That's good.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: I like thank God for balance because we would be
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: all the street somewhere. It wasn't about to say, you know,
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: we're trying to live to we're like eightie, right.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 34:11
  Speaker 8: Do you all find that you have to work at
• 34:13
  Speaker 8: keeping the spark alive?
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: I know that there was that instant attraction we talked
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: about or you referenced, and we all know that, yes,
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: that that attraction can ebb and flow based on where
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: you are in your relationship. Do you actually make an
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: effort to keep the spark alive?
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: Yes?
• 34:31
  Speaker 6: I think that's very important. This is actually happy. She
• 34:34
  Speaker 6: doesn't even know this yet, but this has happened to
• 34:36
  Speaker 6: me maybe the last two years. So I used to
• 34:40
  Speaker 6: always come up with cool little ideas for a birthday
• 34:43
  Speaker 6: or Valentine's or whatever little special occasion. And I would
• 34:47
  Speaker 6: come up with cool little little things and it would
• 34:50
  Speaker 6: keep the spark going. But with us being together for
• 34:53
  Speaker 6: so I've ran out of ideas. So the last last year,
• 34:58
  Speaker 6: I said, Mabe, what do you want? And that's the
• 35:02
  Speaker 6: first time that's ever happened coming from me. And she
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: didn't have an idea.
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: So I just kind of didn't do much like like
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: what she's used to and it was an issue. So
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: and she said she didn't want none.
• 35:16
  Speaker 8: T j oh, never believe a woman when she says
• 35:20
  Speaker 8: she doesn't want anything.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: I never believe it doesn't want anything.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: You know better, you didn't fall that he did.
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: Good hope after positive enough in the bank to get
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: you off never So I was completely wrong on that one.
• 35:39
  Speaker 6: So this year, I'm starting early and I'm asking and
• 35:42
  Speaker 6: she gave me the same answer.
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: So I went to jet chat chat GPT.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: This is.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: But I mean, my jaws are hurting, But yes, Amy,
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: I do think you got to be strategic and even
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: for me, like as a mom, Like you know, I
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: make an effort to like get my nails done, get
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: my hair done, all of those things because I don't
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: want to just like completely fall off.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: I think that for a man, I obviously know.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: That, you know, like attraction is not just the hearts right, Yes, yes,
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: we're like all all this stuff too, So you know,
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: like I do try to make an effort to like
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: keep up with all of those things.
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: Like I know the things that he likes, so I
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: try to you know, do those things. And and then now,
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: so we do have two under two.
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: Well we just he just turned to so we have
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: a two year old a six month old, So like
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: in the trenches again like trenches trenches of parenting. But
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: you know, we still try to make time for each other,
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: and we have lots of plans for like when the
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: babies get a little bit older, to like really start
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: to do stuff again just us.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: So yeah, we try to be intentional. I think it's very.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: Important to be what are your feelings on date nights
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: and that, and do you all do them have set
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: date nights?
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: We don't have set date nights, I think largely in
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: part because of where our lives are right now is
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: just not it's hard for us.
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: We say we want to do stuff, but then we
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: don't want to leave our kids, so nobody like we
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: always want to have our kids.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: It makes us both happy.
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: So what we do, what we try to do is
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: like we're cooking together, so like I'll find a recipe
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: and we'll do something like that together and that satisfies us.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Or like my husband loves movies.
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: I'm not a big movie person or TV person, but
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: we'll you know, put the best together down early and
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: watch something together and that feels like bonding time. Like
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: that's what we're fasting right now. So that's like feels
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: like once again, like just us doing something, just the
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: two of us. So it's like we try to do
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: things like that that we're both into. You know, one
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: person might bring to the other person will do it
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: together and it feels like just our special thing. But
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: we're not like hardcore on like Sturtaday night at seven o'clock,
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: drop everything you're doing.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: I'm just curious. What are you all watching together? You
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: all have a show or something in particular you all
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: are following right now. We're always curious because we watch
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: so much stuff together.
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: Well, my husband is like, like, my husband loves YouTube
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: and like, so we're always watching stuff that we can
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: learn from. So we're like watching a series or movies
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: right now, but it's like whatever's going on in the world,
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: Like we want to understand more about what's going on,
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: like you know, and my husband loves like black history,
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: so we're always like watching documentaries on like our history.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: So not really exciting stuff, but we do it together nonetheless.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: O black history.
• 38:14
  Speaker 8: Wait what did you wait? I didn't hear that. Wait,
• 38:16
  Speaker 8: we didn't hear that.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: What did you just say?
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: And help and help and help?
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Wait?
• 38:22
  Speaker 8: Okay, I'm curious.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I'm curious on you if you could get your husband
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: to watch anything with you, like a movie, a show,
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: a series, what would it be.
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: So, you know, I'm a realiz, like I love, like
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: married to medicine, all that kind of stuff. So like
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: I'll you know, beg him to like watch stuff like
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: that with me. But I'm also really busy too, so
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not tripping right.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: Now, Like I don't have much time.
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to grow a business, grow this family, so
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: I'm really not too you know picky on that kind
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: of stuff. But yeah, I like my married to medicines
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: and all those kind of shows.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Robot just made me think of something else. You both
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: of you answer this, if you could get your partner
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: to do something thing with you that you know your
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: partner doesn't like. Right, it's not she doesn't usually like
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: to go to I don't know, a hockey match, or
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: he doesn't usually like to go to whatever.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: What is?
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: Is there one thing you wish that you could get
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: them on board with doing?
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: For me?
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: I think you know this one.
• 39:21
  Speaker 8: Oh, skydiving. We've discussed this as well.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: Really have you done it before?
• 39:30
  Speaker 8: Neither one of us have.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: Done it before. I made the same face you just
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: made when every time she brings it up.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: I want to go skydiving. I want to go I
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: want to do a lot of that stuff that he's
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: not that into.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: He did it, He's done it, and it was amazing.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: Like I was like, oh my gosh, I want to
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: do this, and then I was like, hell, no, I
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: should do this.
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: It's gonna take you to another level.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: So tell you what do you want him to do?
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: I think for me it would be more.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: I mean it's just like simple stuff like I wish
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: my husband would like to go shopping, like I love,
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: like buying stuff for the family, clothes like around the house,
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: and he's just never into that stuff. So yeah, simple
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: simple girl stuff like come with stop shoppings together, shops
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: have girlfriends.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. He wants her to
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: jump out a plane and she will. Let's go shopping,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Let's go to TJ Max.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: So different, simple stuff, simple stuff.
• 40:27
  Speaker 8: Oh my goodness, y'all are amazing. What is next for you?
• 40:30
  Speaker 8: Do you all have any couple goals for twenty twenty six?
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: I mean so my husband and I have done everything
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: together and now we're doing a business together. So like
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: we have built this pajama brand coordinates, you know, just
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: the two of us like growing this brand, and it's
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: been amazing to do it together because I feel like
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: in the areas that I'm weak, he's strong. So it's
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: been this amazing balance. And so as far as not
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: relationship goal, say necessarily, but just as like our you know,
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: as us as a couple, like continue to figure ot
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: how we can grow this business. We want it to
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: be like a family business and be like a legacy business.
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: So that would be I think one of my primary
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: goals for twenty twenty six, and then I think, like
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: relationship wise, just staying in this space of like honeymooning
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: and growth and you know.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Like just this pure love that we have for to
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: the right now. We really just want to stay in
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: that space.
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: Ah ha ha.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: Don't you even dare?
• 41:28
  Speaker 8: You got three boys? You got three boys?
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: And Amy? Do you know who selects the gender of
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: these children?
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: God?
• 41:35
  Speaker 8: Yes he does.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: So he had three chances to get a girl.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: You have struck out, so it's okay, done, But skydiving
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: or another baby? Tell me signinga sky diving or another baby?
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Which one I diving?
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: WHOA, Okay, I'm jumping out. I get that.
• 41:56
  Speaker 8: It's funny.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: My brother and his wife same thing. He wanted a girl,
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: ended up with three boys. He wanted to keep going.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: She's like, no, because we'll just end up with the fourth.
• 42:05
  Speaker 8: So no, thank you. I totally get that.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Guys, this was absolutely awesome. And this is why every
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: single couple we talked to last year we finished and
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: we felt better as a couple, or we grew as
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: a couple after we talked to every single couple because
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: we didn't fill alone. You all go into some of
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: the same stuff we're going through, and you all are
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: just a delight. It's good to see people doing so
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: well who have gone through hell and you know it's
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: gonna be okay. We've been through our hell plenty in
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: life and made a bunch of screw ups, but we
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: found each other and here we are and we're happy
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: and we're so glad to be able to talk to
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: you too. Really we need to. We would love to
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: catch up with you all in Atlanta. We come down
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: there quite a bit, so we love to catch up
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: with you.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: Love to love love that.
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: Thank you guys for having us like this is a treat, Yeah,
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: because we haven't had like a relationship kind of in
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: a long time.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is really fun.
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: Thanks for thinking.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: I guarantee you anyone who is listening right now feels
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: better about their relationship, feels more hopeful. It is. I mean,
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: I know it's hard to talk about the tough times,
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: but that actually is so helpful to hear. Y'all went
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: through two years of hell and look at you now,
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: So congratulations on all your.
• 43:16
  Speaker 8: Success, on your beautiful family that's gonna stay. Three boys,
• 43:21
  Speaker 8: a family of a family of five.
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: I mean, you want to.
• 43:26
  Speaker 8: The growth is going to be spiritual, not physical.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: Sonya, Richards Ross, Aaron Ross, thank y'all so much and
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: happy Valentine's Day by
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: The way, Thank you to you, thank you guys.