Latest / Sometimes There's Side Eye / STSE #81: Preparation for the Win

Transcript

STSE #81: Preparation for the Win · Sometimes There's Side Eye

• 0:12
  Welcome to Sometimes There's Side Eye, a podcast about two
• 0:16
  friends having real and unfiltered conversations about
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  dogs and people listen as we talk about our lives with dogs,
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  training, behavior, share some laughs and a whole lot of
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  banter. I'm Heather.
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  And I'm Christy, what are we talking about this week,
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  Heather? This week we are going to talk
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  about how you can set yourself and your dog up for success when
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  it comes to a new experience. That was a very long title.
• 0:46
  Well. Put So do you want to explain
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  why we're talking about this? Sure.
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  I guess what 2 weeks ago or a few weeks ago I took Jackson
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  kayaking for the first time and this next week we will be taking
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  trim kayaking for the first time.
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  And so we were talking through what we were doing to prepare
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  the dogs to be ready to try this new experience of kayaking and
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  then what we were also doing to prevent us from being over
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  threshold as well as our dogs. Yeah, I mean, I immediately was
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  thinking about Trin being either stressed or barking on said
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  kayak with me, which would make me have big feelings right
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  alongside her. Because if anyone knows, they
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  know I do not like a barking dog.
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  So especially high pitched bark. So I was kind of thinking
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  through, OK, what can I do to set her up so that she can feel
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  more comfortable and also if she feels the need to park to bark
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  to redirect her. So I decided to freeze some
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  topples and I'm going to take them in a cooler along with us.
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  And honestly even if she even everything goes perfectly I will
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  probably still deploy the topples because I would like
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  this to be a positive experience for her and I want it to be low
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  stress. If it goes well I could see us
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  based on how well Jackson did us being able to kayak with them in
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  the future, maybe even taking them down the river.
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  So I want Christy shaking her head no.
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  You don't want to take it down. The river.
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  No, I have too much fear to take them down the salt.
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  River that's so interesting. I just, I've seen too many
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  people get in trouble who can swim and they, they get tangled
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  up and things and I don't want that.
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  Well, just. I had grand ideas about.
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  Taking to the river, but I don't feel that way about the the
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  lakes at all and I don't feel like people are are being
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  irresponsible taking their dogs down the river.
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  It's just you have. Want to take trend down the
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  river? I'll go with you.
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  Oh, I love that. OK, well anyway, I was thinking
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  big picture. How do I make this a positive,
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  long lasting good experience for her?
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  I also was thinking a lot about how I set Trin up for success
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  this week because I am taking her on a work trip and so it's
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  going to be her and I one-on-one, staying in a few
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  different hotels, doing a lot of driving and then throwing some
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  fast cat and some scent work in between.
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  And so I did a lot of thinking this these past few weeks.
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  How do I make sure that she is getting what she needs while
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  she's waiting around for me and she's staying in hotels with me
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  and just kind of planning? So I feel like there's a lot of
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  thinking through things going on right now to kind of prepare our
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  dogs for for what we want to do with them short term and long
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  term. Yeah, absolutely.
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  One of the first things I'll say is it really depends on your dog
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  that you have too, how you prepare them.
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  Because when I introduced Lucy to kayaking, we blew up the
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  kayak. We sat inside of it, inside my
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  house. We sat inside of it in my front
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  lawn, in my back lawn. We moved it around.
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  I, you know, I practiced with her getting on it on her own,
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  different types of kayaks. All of that I neglected to
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  practice paddling, which then then she was like, what is
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  happening? Why are is this thing going over
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  my head repeatedly? So I did neglect to train that,
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  which was my bad. But I don't think when I trained
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  her that I brought any treats or anything with me.
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  I just was like, oh, she'll get it out like she we've practiced
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  and she'll be fine. And then with Jackson, it was
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  such a different experience training him because I know he's
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  such a resilient dog that I can throw him into almost any
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  situation and he's gonna be OK. He's he's very resilient.
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  I'm also gonna be watching him for signs of stress and things
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  and, and I'm totally OK calling things early if we need to.
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  So I was fine driving 2 hours to the lake and then just even if
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  it was 15 minutes in the boat and he was like, no, I hate
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  this. Then coming home.
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  So I knew that was going to be OK.
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  So I didn't do all the same things with him, but I did bring
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  all the treats with me. And so when he felt, when he
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  acted like he was feeling unsure or nervous or bored, I was
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  feeding that making sure that he felt comfortable enough to still
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  keep looking around and exploring the kayak, me, the
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  water, how it worked. The biggest thing for him was he
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  was so confused why people kept floating by us.
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  It was like he just couldn't quite grasp boats and he was
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  like what is happening here? I don't understand.
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  These people keep zooming right by us.
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  But he did great overall. He did amazing and it's what I
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  expected him to do. And I think I prepared according
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  to the dog that I haven't, yeah. Yeah, it's interesting.
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  Like with Lucy, you did all of this desensitization beforehand
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  to prepare her, but then in the moment didn't have food because
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  that's the dog, you know, that was what where you were.
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  And then with Jackson, nothing in beforehand but then had food.
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  And what did you say you gave him like a bag and a half
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  retreats over the time, which is totally, I mean, not judging,
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  but just to tell, to see the absolute opposite of the
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  preparation versus the in the moment, what he would need.
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  And not necessarily for stress, but to keep him also occupied
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  because Jackson's a guy who likes to be interested, likes to
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  do things that are interesting and move his body.
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  And that's not what kayaking is, Yeah.
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  He's so confidently walked off that kayak, like I wish everyone
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  who had seen how confident. We had video.
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  Walking straight into the water and not understanding that's
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  that was water versus the kayak. He was, he was so shocked.
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  But I I knew he would also recover from that fine.
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  Yeah, he walked to the plank band.
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  He did. Yeah, it's going to be very
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  interesting for me to do this with Trin because I don't know
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  how much we've talked about on the podcast, but Trina is a
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  completely different dog in a dog sport dog show environment
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  than what she is in a non dog show dog sport environment.
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  So it's going to be very interesting to me to see how she
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  responds. I think that she will be normal
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  like she would be in a dog sport environment because she's with
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  Jackson and you know, she has like that level of comfort with
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  him that will give her confidence if she's feeling a
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  little unsure. But she really is a completely
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  different dog just in normal day-to-day life outside of our
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  house when she doesn't have the context of oh, we're going to
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  practice, oh, we're going to go to a trial, Oh, we're going to
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  go to a dog show. It's she's this interesting
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  little thing. Yeah.
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  That'll. Be so much confidence and
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  resilience in when it comes to dog stuff, dog sports, yeah.
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  Yeah, yeah. So my, my thought process was if
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  we're walking around our our development and our neighborhood
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  area and a dog comes out of nowhere, a Trin will bark at
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  them. It's like, what are you doing
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  there? Like she doesn't expect it in
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  that environment, right. And I was actually reading a
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  post where people were talking about this and someone was
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  talking about how they were likening it to prison mentality.
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  Sit with me for a moment. So they were basically saying
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  Trin at dog sports is around all her like people, guys who are
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  out in the prison yard are like a little more tamp down.
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  You could even say maybe a little flooded because there's
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  just everybody everywhere. But then if they're walking down
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  a hallway one-on-one, they're more likely to be to Shank
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  someone, which is a very severe. Yeah, he is more more likely to
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  Shank. Someone literally, I read that
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  analogy and I was like, bitch, we'll Shank someone.
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  So, but they were basically likening it to her just walking
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  down the street, feeling vulnerable by herself and
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  immediately jumping to, I got to defend myself.
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  You know, she doesn't have her friends around.
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  She doesn't have her people around.
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  She doesn't feel, you know, any like she just feels very
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  vulnerable and she feels like she needs to defend herself.
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  And I was like, oh, that's such an interesting little analogy
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  there. And there were a lot of people
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  talking about that. So I will be very, very curious
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  to see how she responds to the entire environment.
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  Yeah, absolutely. And I feel like Jackson always
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  expects there to be dogs everywhere he goes.
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  He's always hoping for dogs. He really does expect them to be
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  because they're always in the park, they're always on our
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  walks. They're So for him, I think he
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  was a little disappointed he couldn't get to the dogs on
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  shore, but he wasn't surprised by them.
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  Or maybe he was a little but happily surprised.
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  Like, did you see we could have friends on the shore?
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  Like what are we doing on the lake?
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  Yeah and I think so just thinking through.
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  So I'm going to Christy's house, we're going to drive 2 hours.
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  So Jackson's going to ride next to Trin in their crates.
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  They're not going to get to really play because it's going
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  to be way too early in the morning.
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  Like we're not going early so y'all can have a play date
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  first. So basically we're going to like
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  pack up our stuff, we're going to go.
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  So I also think that her excitement to be free with
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  Jackson, like on a leash, but free when we get out of the car,
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  we'll be in our favor because I think she'll be excited to be
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  like, oh, what are we doing? Like, oh, I'm with my friend and
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  we can use that to also sort of work in our favor.
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  Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, I hope it doesn't pack
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  fire and like we don't have to enough time to play.
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  And then she's like, no, let me get over to that kayak with my
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  friend. Yeah, let's hope.
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  Inside the kayak. You guys might get some really
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  funny videos to watch on the. Instagram really if you're
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  depending on the dog you're taking, it really does depend on
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  what type of things you want to do and how you stack the deck in
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  your favor. And if you don't mind turning
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  around after a 2 hour drive and driving right back home, then
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  you have more options. But if you really want something
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  to work then stacking the deck in your favor is is going to be
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  beneficial. Everything from if your dog has
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  noise sensitivity and getting them used to the noises that the
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  kayaks make, if they have have motion sensitivity, getting used
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  to those motions, all of that. Yeah, I was just sitting here
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  thinking too, and never being afraid to say this is not the
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  activity to take my dog along for, or we're not ready because
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  I, I mean, taking a route Euler is a lot more of an undertaking.
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  So Tiago's never been kayaking tater.
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  That. If Tater were a different dog in
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  his noise, phobias and lack of confidence at times, he would
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  really enjoy kayaking. But he is not the dog.
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  So could I work really really hard and desensitize him and get
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  him to the point that he would be OK with it?
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  Probably. But how much stress would I put
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  him through to get him there and is it really worth it?
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  Who am I really doing it for? So I think it's also OK to sit
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  and think about who is my dog? What are they OK with, What are
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  they not OK with? And is this really the activity
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  that I should be taking them along for?
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  And maybe it's not your dog, but you really want to kayak with
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  the dog. Well, ask your friend's dog if
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  you know somebody else's dog that might want to go along, ask
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  them. Maybe your parents have a dog or
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  your sibling has a dog that you think would.
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  Really enjoy it. Do a dog swap for the day
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  exactly. So don't be afraid to say, you
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  know what, it's just not right for my dog.
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  Or, or if you get out there like Christy said, and you realize,
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  gosh, I thought my dog was really going to love this and
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  it's not working out. Don't just call it a day.
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  Call it a lesson learned and say OK now I know for next time
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  maybe I take my brother's dog. Yeah.
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  Oh, she would hate it. So much welfare.
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  There's ducks out there and she hates ducks.
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  She's terrified of them. OK.
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  Don't take Christie's brother's dog.
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  Or brother's dog. Well, one thing I did also to,
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  to kind of set the stage was I thought, oh, I went with my best
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  friend and, and her dog. And I know her dog enjoys paddle
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  boarding with her. So I what I didn't want to have
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  happen is we drive all the way up there and she was like, I'm
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  totally fine if we leave after 5 minutes, that's OK.
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  But I thought I felt like it was unfair to her dog to be like,
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  hey, look at this exciting thing we're doing.
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  Just kidding, we're not doing that.
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  And so I told her, hey, I know you'll say no, but here's the
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  plan. Here's what's going to happen if
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  all everything fails. I'm going to go for a hike with
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  Jackson and then we'll meet back in like an hour and see, like
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  you want to come hiking? Do you want to keep paddle
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  boarding? You know, do we want to go home?
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  What? What do we want to do?
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  Yep, I think it was really smart.
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  Yeah, 'cause we want to be fair to everybody going.
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  Absolutely. I love that.
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  I think it's a good compromise. Yeah.
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  Also, don't forget the sunblock for your dog.
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  Literally just popped into my head because I have to sunblock
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  Trin all of her little pink spots and her little the top of
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  her little head. Don't never forget the the
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  sunblock for the dog and yourselves.
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  Yeah, and one thing I did this time that I was like, I probably
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  don't even need to bring Jackson's wet suit.
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  Oh yeah, you did take his wet suit.
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  Yeah. And I was like, I don't need it.
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  It's not that cold out. It's kind of like a nice, I
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  don't know. It was like high 70s when we got
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  there, maybe low 80s by the time we left.
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  So it was a really nice day for it.
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  But he went in the water three separate times and his third
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  time coming out, he was shaking. Really.
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  Bad. And I was like, oh, I'm glad I
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  brought the, the wet suit with me on the boat, even though I
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  hadn't put it on. Because then once I put it on,
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  even though it was harder to put on wet when I put it on him,
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  then he warmed up and he was fine to keep going.
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  And so kind of preparing for that.
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  What happens if they do fall in and it's cold?
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  Or what happens if they're? Hot.
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  Those types of things you know for either scenario.
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  And of course, I personally would recommend that you have a
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  float coat on your dog or some sort of life vest.
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  You as a person are wearing your life vest.
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  And I know, I mean, I have dogs that are very strong swimmers.
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  But still in that environment where you have people on other
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  people you don't know, on kayaks and this and that and other dogs
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  and all this stuff going on in a, in a what can be a crazy
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  environment, I would always err on the side of caution.
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  And use some sort of life jacket for your dogs.
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  Yeah, yeah. And I've been kayaking and
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  paddle boarding enough to see several times people who are
• 17:18
  strong swimmers fall off their. Actually it's both.
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  Both times it's been paddle boards, they've fallen off their
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  paddle board. And then they have this moment
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  because it was unexpected where they forgot how to swim.
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  Like their brain didn't kick in to say I know how to swim.
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  And one of them even said I thought I was drowning.
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  And then I thought to myself, wait, you know how to swim like
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  you can, You can do this. And she said she was very happy.
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  I was right. I was sticking close by her
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  because she she felt like this overwhelming panic.
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  Yeah, even though she knew how to swim.
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  Yeah. And then our other friend
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  thought her, thought her camelback was her life vest and
• 18:00
  hadn't actually put her life vest on.
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  And so when she fell in, she was like, no big deal, I have a life
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  vest on. But then her camelback started
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  of pulling her down and she completely freaked out and
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  thought she was drowning and, and it took a long time for her
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  to recover from that. And it was really scary.
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  And I thought, well, if us as humans can have that moment of
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  panic where we're like, we are super strong swimmers, but we
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  just in that moment of panic we can't recover, then that
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  absolutely could happen to our dogs.
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  Agreed. I completely agree.
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  It's, it's good to be, to be extra careful.
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  I would say just think about your personal dog, think about
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  whatever environment that you want to take them to for the
• 18:42
  first time, whether it's a trip, whether it's kayaking, whether
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  it's anything and just kind of think through the process.
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  I don't want to say worst case scenario because that sounds
• 18:53
  terrible. But I think being prepared is
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  just smart. And if traveling and doing,
• 19:00
  doing things like that can be stressful for us as humans, and
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  it can be stressful for our dog because they're out of their
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  routine. They're, you know, they're
• 19:08
  excited, maybe they're anxious, we're feeling excited, we're
• 19:12
  feeling anxious. And so I would just try to like
• 19:15
  take a moment and think through, hey, what can I do to support my
• 19:21
  dog? But then also support our
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  interactions to make them a little bit less stressful so
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  that if things do go a little bit South or you have something
• 19:32
  unexpected to happen, you have a way to recover together that
• 19:36
  doesn't just make things sort of tumble down, you know, a dark
• 19:39
  path. Even just sitting here talking
• 19:41
  about getting ready to record this episode with Christy, I was
• 19:45
  texting myself because I was like, oh, I need to remember to
• 19:49
  take this for trend on our trip. And oh, shoot, I want to take
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  this, you know, and I've been thinking about this for a couple
• 19:55
  weeks now, how I'm going to prepare.
• 19:57
  Granted, I'm doing several different things.
• 20:01
  I'm doing work trip and then I'm also mixing in two different
• 20:04
  sports at the same time. But I am trying to think through
• 20:09
  what do I need to like make sure that this is as low stress for
• 20:13
  both of us as possible so that we can actually enjoy the the
• 20:16
  experience. You know, I want to take her to
• 20:18
  the beach and I want to have a good time with her and I I don't
• 20:23
  want to be. Be stressed about that, right?
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  So just a little bit extra planning can allow you to really
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  have a good experience with your dog and have your dog have a
• 20:31
  really good experience with you. And that's just making memories.
• 20:35
  Absolutely. I will also say that some amount
• 20:39
  of routine is really helpful. I feel like Jackson does so well
• 20:45
  in sports and being left in the car and craving for long trips
• 20:50
  and things because that became part of the routine.
• 20:54
  If we're going anywhere but Walmart for grocery pick up,
• 20:59
  because it's I don't have to leave my neighborhood or the
• 21:02
  park for a walk. If it's not those two places,
• 21:06
  then he's in this crate. Even if it's a quarter mile down
• 21:10
  the road, but I have to go on the main road, he's in this
• 21:12
  crate. And so that just is like, oh,
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  this is where I go in the car. I go in the crate and people
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  always are like, he just like jumps into his crate.
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  I'm like, well, yeah, that's where he goes in the car.
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  He knows. And then it's just such a nice
• 21:28
  safe place for him to be also. And it doesn't create this
• 21:32
  stress of like, well, where where do I go?
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  You're doing all these other things while you're trying to
• 21:38
  prepare for sports or kayaking or whatever it is.
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  And you're all of a sudden your dog's in the way and you're
• 21:43
  like, OK, you have to move you it stop being needy.
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  It just creates these, if you can create routines, you know,
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  and it doesn't have to be a crate.
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  It can be, hey, you always sit in the seat and you remain seat
• 21:56
  belted in until I'm ready for you or we clip you here until
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  I'm ready for you. You know, whatever it is.
• 22:03
  I think some of those routines give them some peace and calm
• 22:08
  when maybe peace and calm is not readily available.
• 22:13
  In these situations, I plan to take trends little travel crate
• 22:17
  into the hotel room with us so that she and I bought a little
• 22:22
  cart so that I can just load her onto the cart in her crate so
• 22:27
  she does not have to walk through the hotel.
• 22:29
  We don't have to like deal with any of that.
• 22:32
  She gets wheeled straight to straight to our room and I use
• 22:37
  that same setup for her at Fastcat.
• 22:39
  So it works out perfect. It's something she's very used
• 22:41
  to and then I washed her bed that's normally and her crate,
• 22:45
  her large crate here and I will take that with that will go into
• 22:49
  the hotel room with us so that she has a place to be
• 22:52
  comfortable. I'm going to take her favorite
• 22:54
  couple bones. You know, I'm doing I am
• 22:58
  absolutely agree with you. There are some things that even
• 23:01
  on the road we can do that are routine for them.
• 23:03
  And I am holding on to those things and taking, taking what I
• 23:08
  can along with us because it's going to be she.
• 23:11
  We're going to be gone from Wednesday until late Saturday.
• 23:16
  Sunday, we are going straight to kayaking and then she's staying
• 23:20
  with Christy until next Wednesday.
• 23:21
  So she's going to have like all these transitions happening.
• 23:25
  And I agree with you. I'm grateful that she
• 23:27
  understands routine, understands all these things, but I can do
• 23:31
  things to support her as well. Yeah, absolutely.
• 23:35
  And if you're trying to build those routines, don't be
• 23:37
  discouraged if they take a little bit to build.
• 23:39
  Those take time. The first time Jackson went to
• 23:44
  the a trip maybe an hour and a half, two hours away, he like
• 23:48
  screamed the whole time in his crate and I was like, Oh no, I'm
• 23:52
  going to murder him. And now he just quietly he he
• 23:56
  gets a little whiny on the corners.
• 23:58
  I think he gets a little carsick.
• 23:59
  But mostly he just is back there.
• 24:02
  Just like you could forget you have a dog back there.
• 24:06
  I nearly, I nearly. I had a moment of oh, Thursday
• 24:12
  we were going to scent work and so I was carpooling with our
• 24:17
  friends with two Staffords. So this so her male rides and
• 24:20
  Tiagos crate, her female rides and taters crate.
• 24:23
  So Trin rides in her little pink crate and so I got her into her
• 24:29
  crate and I turned around to grab something and put it into
• 24:35
  the car. And by the time I had turned
• 24:37
  back around, she was laying down with her head down curled into a
• 24:41
  ball just like, OK, I'm ready to travel now.
• 24:43
  And I was like, that is so not where we started.
• 24:49
  That's awesome. Yeah, and I, I mean, she has
• 24:53
  been totally, perfectly fine in the car for literally years at
• 24:58
  this point. But to see her just get in and
• 25:02
  just instantly settle and say I know I'm going somewhere and I'm
• 25:07
  cool. She's just totally prepared and
• 25:09
  is like, I love this and that is such a gift.
• 25:12
  I do not take that for granted. Tiago was always like that.
• 25:16
  Tater has been wonderful like that.
• 25:18
  It took a lot of work with Trin and so I don't take it for
• 25:22
  granted, but I am very grateful for it because it is a beautiful
• 25:27
  thing. So I agree, if you have
• 25:29
  something like that, that is a goal, work on it.
• 25:32
  Take small, snap small steps. We took small steps.
• 25:35
  I would make a little topple with peanut butter in it and
• 25:38
  drive her around the block. That was it.
• 25:40
  That was it. When?
• 25:42
  She was a puppy. I can't tell you how many times
• 25:45
  we did it. And then I realized that I had
• 25:47
  to freeze the peanut butter because it wasn't long enough to
• 25:49
  even get around the block. I mean, we worked so hard on it,
• 25:53
  but here we are. So.
• 25:54
  Yeah. And it really bothers me when we
• 25:57
  like put our dogs in a, a situation where they're clearly
• 26:01
  extremely stressed and we're not supporting them or we're like,
• 26:05
  they got to cry it out. They got to get used to it.
• 26:08
  That really bothers me as a human being.
• 26:10
  Like, I'm not passing judgement. I'm not saying right or wrong,
• 26:13
  but it bothers me like deep gutturally bothers me.
• 26:18
  And so for me to avoid those things, I have to prepare.
• 26:23
  I have to prepare my dog, I have to prepare myself.
• 26:25
  And we have to build routines. Yeah, yeah, there's.
• 26:29
  Definitely. And I think it depends on the
• 26:30
  dog too, right? Some dogs are able to handle
• 26:33
  whatever and just be steadfast and roll.
• 26:36
  And some dogs need more support. And you know, we've talked about
• 26:40
  it before, the the amount of support that Ioffer tater is
• 26:43
  different than the amount of support Ioffer for Tiago because
• 26:46
  Tiago doesn't need it. It doesn't mean I love Tiago
• 26:49
  less. We all know that's not true.
• 26:52
  It just, he doesn't need it, right?
• 26:54
  So I think, you know, once again, it comes back to knowing
• 26:58
  your dog and then just sort of setting up expectations and then
• 27:01
  working towards whatever that expectation is.
• 27:04
  Everything's achievable, right? It's just how hard do you want
• 27:08
  to work for it? How much does it mean to you?
• 27:11
  What's it worth? To you, what's it worth to you,
• 27:13
  right? Yeah.
• 27:14
  And is it really, truly going to be fun for your dog?
• 27:19
  At the end of the day, we are dog crazy.
• 27:22
  We want to take our dogs everywhere, but is it the right
• 27:24
  thing for them? Yeah, exactly.
• 27:26
  That's something to consider. Yeah, we shall report back on
• 27:30
  our kayaking adventures. Stay tuned.
• 27:34
  If you've enjoyed this episode, subscribe, rate and share us
• 27:39
  wherever you get your podcast. Also come on over to Instagram
• 27:43
  and engage with us at Sometimes Their Side Eye.
• 27:46
  Thanks for listening everybody. Talk to you next time.
• 27:49
  Bye bye.