Latest / Rock My Finances / What are some common needs of parents with special needs children-By Denise Carbon
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Unless specifically indicated otherwise. The content expressed or my views only,
- 0:03Speaker 1: and not necessarily those of Life Co Asset Management LLC.
- 0:06Speaker 1: The content presented is in no way in investment advice, solicitation,
- 0:09Speaker 1: or an offer to sell securities or investment advisory services.
- 0:13Speaker 1: The material is provided for general information and educational purposes
- 0:16Speaker 1: based upon publicly available information from sources believed to be reliable.
- 0:20Speaker 1: I cannot assure the accuracy or completeness of these materials.
- 0:23Speaker 1: As such, the information in these materials may change at
- 0:26Speaker 1: any time without notice. Reference to these discussions about eels
- 0:29Speaker 1: and annuities or fixed insurance products. Investments on fixed insurance
- 0:32Speaker 1: products are different from investments in the stock market. Any
- 0:34Speaker 1: guarantees provided by a fixed insurance product cannot be assumed
- 0:37Speaker 1: to be guaranteed for any other investment.
- 0:39Speaker 2: Welcome to the Rock, my Finances show on k for
- 0:42Speaker 2: HD radio and Talk for TV, where we put the
- 0:45Speaker 2: fund in finance joint Powerhouse Jeffer Jos CDFA CMC and
- 0:51Speaker 2: Private Wealth Advisor, as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
- 0:56Speaker 2: control and confidence with your money, your way. It's not
- 1:00Speaker 2: about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
- 1:03Speaker 2: find out. Now, here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer jos.
- 1:10Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, I'm so glad you're back for another show.
- 1:13Speaker 1: This one is going to be great. As you can
- 1:15Speaker 1: see behind me, I have some happy birthday stuff, so yes,
- 1:18Speaker 1: celebrating my sixtieth birthday this week.
- 1:19Speaker 3: Very exciting.
- 1:21Speaker 1: And I have one of my besties to be on
- 1:24Speaker 1: the show today, so I'm very thrilled about that. I
- 1:27Speaker 1: have not been able to really dive deep into interview her.
- 1:29Speaker 1: She is part of the Soul Sister series, so check
- 1:32Speaker 1: that out. I have a lot of shows on the
- 1:35Speaker 1: Soul Sister series where all four of us get together
- 1:37Speaker 1: and chit chat and dish about all different types of things.
- 1:40Speaker 1: So today is going to be about Denise and Denise
- 1:43Speaker 1: and what she does and her community and all about her.
- 1:46Speaker 1: So her and I have done some Law of Attraction
- 1:48Speaker 1: shows as well. You want to check those out, And
- 1:51Speaker 1: this one is going to be all about Denise and
- 1:54Speaker 1: her special needs community and her career and her company
- 1:57Speaker 1: and everything that she does. So without further let's welcome
- 2:00Speaker 1: miss Denise Carbone.
- 2:04Speaker 4: Hi sweetie, Hi sweetheart, and happy birthday week to you. Woo.
- 2:11Speaker 1: Denise, actually set me these signs and she's like, hey.
- 2:15Speaker 3: Where's there someone like, oh, yeah, we go.
- 2:19Speaker 4: We can't already rate someone's sexy sixtieth year, and so
- 2:24Speaker 4: this is a big thing.
- 2:26Speaker 1: I love that you say that, especially since I had
- 2:28Speaker 1: carbs and not feeling.
- 2:29Speaker 3: At all it's sexy. But thank you so much because
- 2:32Speaker 3: that is my goal, right, the.
- 2:34Speaker 4: Sex feeling internal thing doesn't matter what you eat.
- 2:38Speaker 3: This is true. This is true. I love it.
- 2:41Speaker 1: Okay, So, miss Denise Carbone, I'm going to read a
- 2:45Speaker 1: little bit from your your bios and your website and
- 2:48Speaker 1: I'm going to interview you and ask you questions and
- 2:52Speaker 1: I just want to get to know more myself as well.
- 2:55Speaker 1: And I believe what you do is so important to
- 2:59Speaker 1: be an ex about the special needs community and you
- 3:03Speaker 1: actually being a parent coach helping parents deal with this
- 3:07Speaker 1: entire lifestyle that has their heart connected, that has their
- 3:12Speaker 1: finances connected, that's part of who they are.
- 3:15Speaker 3: Like this is not just.
- 3:17Speaker 1: The writing a book career or you know, start even
- 3:21Speaker 1: starting a company, which is crazy, hech but this is
- 3:24Speaker 1: like you are so enveloped with their love and their
- 3:29Speaker 1: emotions for their children that you are an amazing parent
- 3:32Speaker 1: coach for them and.
- 3:36Speaker 3: Let's not forget, but you are. You are a.
- 3:39Speaker 1: Powerhouse in this community in the Bay Area, Like you
- 3:43Speaker 1: have been doing this for so long, Like you have
- 3:45Speaker 1: experts coming to you for questions and answer more and
- 3:51Speaker 1: training right, Like there's so much she gives, talks, just
- 3:55Speaker 1: all kinds of things. So I can just imagine how
- 4:00Speaker 1: frustrated the parents would feel. I mean, my son a
- 4:04Speaker 1: d d ADHD some learning disabilities.
- 4:06Speaker 3: Say hello and Alona, because you'll know, she's a freaking
- 4:10Speaker 3: zoom queen. She just has to crawl on my keyboard
- 4:14Speaker 3: when I'm on zoom.
- 4:16Speaker 4: No wonder you can know who to give her to.
- 4:18Speaker 3: Yeah, gosh, thank you. I love it. I know I
- 4:23Speaker 3: know you love her.
- 4:26Speaker 1: So being with Parker and having to do the special
- 4:31Speaker 1: classes and fight for his rights for his small, little
- 4:35Speaker 1: tiny disabilities in your stream of things, and to do
- 4:39Speaker 1: his I e. P. And to fight every year to
- 4:42Speaker 1: make sure that he got the things that he needed
- 4:45Speaker 1: in order to be successful in school, and then he
- 4:47Speaker 1: had all kinds of other issues as well.
- 4:49Speaker 3: I have this much experience in dealing with wor Okay,
- 4:58Speaker 3: we're okay.
- 4:59Speaker 4: My support I just want to interject how that is okay?
- 5:04Speaker 4: She and I like Jennifer said, right, love direction, direction.
- 5:08Speaker 4: So basically what just happened, for those of you who
- 5:10Speaker 4: aren't watching this, her background just totally fell apart and
- 5:15Speaker 4: fell on the floor. The surfboard fell off the wall,
- 5:17Speaker 4: one of the sixty Happy Birthday sixty signs fell down.
- 5:21Speaker 4: And I think that's not that's not a coincidence, because
- 5:26Speaker 4: I was thinking in my mind, yeah, you're saying Parker's
- 5:29Speaker 4: Parker's thing was just so little. I can only imagine
- 5:32Speaker 4: what other parents are dealing with. And I was gonna say,
- 5:34Speaker 4: that's baloney, because your child's special need or delay or issue,
- 5:42Speaker 4: whatever it is, behavior, you know, whatever you label, like
- 5:45Speaker 4: you said, ADHD, doesn't matter the diagnosis. In my mind,
- 5:49Speaker 4: if your child is struggling, so is the parent. Right.
- 5:53Speaker 4: So if your whole heart in your mind and everything
- 5:57Speaker 4: was on Parker and helping him succeed, whether in your
- 6:00Speaker 4: instance like you're saying with the IEP in the school district,
- 6:03Speaker 4: you are going to do everything that you can for Perker, right,
- 6:07Speaker 4: And that's what I love about supporting parents that have
- 6:11Speaker 4: kids with special needs or developmental delays or behavioral issues
- 6:15Speaker 4: or neurodiversity, which is like the hot buzzword now doesn't
- 6:19Speaker 4: matter what the issue is, and oftentimes parents come and
- 6:22Speaker 4: minimize it like they're like, well, this is just a
- 6:24Speaker 4: little thing. Well it's not a little thing, or you
- 6:27Speaker 4: wouldn't be worried about it, or you wouldn't be losing
- 6:29Speaker 4: sleep over it. So back then it was a big
- 6:32Speaker 4: thing for you, and it probably took a lot of
- 6:34Speaker 4: your time and your attention and your focus because he's
- 6:38Speaker 4: your heart as your kids.
- 6:39Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you so much. You are one hund
- 6:42Speaker 3: percent right.
- 6:42Speaker 1: The universe definitely has my back all the time making
- 6:46Speaker 1: sure that I stop going down the rabbit hole of
- 6:48Speaker 1: things that don't need to be going down. So you
- 6:50Speaker 1: are one hundred percent correct. Thank you Angels, Thank you Universe.
- 6:54Speaker 3: So you are correct.
- 6:55Speaker 1: So I have that much experience in fighting for my child,
- 7:01Speaker 1: and I I did. I'm looking at your website right now,
- 7:06Speaker 1: Special Advantage dot com. And yes, the frustration and the worry,
- 7:11Speaker 1: the stress, the anxiety, the overwhelm, exhaust exhaustion, like you said,
- 7:16Speaker 1: is your biggest.
- 7:17Speaker 4: Thing, right, this is the biggest thing that my parents
- 7:19Speaker 4: struggle with like they and I'm blessed. Okay, I'm gonna
- 7:22Speaker 4: just grab your microphone Jennifer or take over you go girl.
- 7:26Speaker 4: I'm so passionate because, like you said, this is you
- 7:30Speaker 4: know about it because of your experience with Parker. I
- 7:33Speaker 4: have been around special needs my entire life. Okay, I
- 7:38Speaker 4: was born and had a special need of my own.
- 7:42Speaker 4: I was born into a family where we have ten
- 7:45Speaker 4: family members that have one form of special need or
- 7:47Speaker 4: another right. So I'm not new to this. It's been
- 7:51Speaker 4: my entire personal life and my entire professional life. I'm
- 7:57Speaker 4: a special needs expert, developmental specialist, therapists, and parent coach.
- 8:02Speaker 4: And my parents are coming to me, parents and children
- 8:06Speaker 4: with special needs because they're wondering if they're doing all
- 8:09Speaker 4: the right things, the right things right, Like I got
- 8:12Speaker 4: do the right thing to help my child.
- 8:14Speaker 3: We have no idea what that is.
- 8:16Speaker 4: They have no idea what that is. And what I
- 8:18Speaker 4: find is that they're super frustrated and exhausted, just like
- 8:22Speaker 4: you were reading on my website. They're frustrated. They're exhausted
- 8:26Speaker 4: trying to navigate these broken systems, whether it's the school
- 8:30Speaker 4: district or the medical system or whatever it might be.
- 8:33Speaker 4: And they're struggling with knowing how to balance their time,
- 8:36Speaker 4: Like they don't put themselves first. They put their child
- 8:40Speaker 4: first in absolutely everything, and then they're getting stuck in
- 8:43Speaker 4: anxiety or stress or overwhelm and all they really want
- 8:47Speaker 4: is a greater peace of mind knowing that they're doing
- 8:51Speaker 4: the right thing to help their child make progress so
- 8:54Speaker 4: that their child will grow up and live a happy,
- 8:57Speaker 4: independent life because they're so worried that what's going to
- 9:00Speaker 4: happen when I'm gone? Yeah, and it affects the whole family.
- 9:06Speaker 4: It doesn't just affect the mom or the dad, Right,
- 9:09Speaker 4: Like dad's worried about maybe in traditional like traditional older
- 9:14Speaker 4: families like red winner and stay at home parent, Right,
- 9:19Speaker 4: they're worried about their finances, which is where you come in. Right,
- 9:21Speaker 4: They're worried about the siblings and how to help the siblings.
- 9:26Speaker 4: The grandparents are worried and maybe giving mom and dad
- 9:29Speaker 4: grief about why aren't you doing an off or why
- 9:31Speaker 4: do you need that therapy? Or you know, so the
- 9:33Speaker 4: whole family's effective and if you don't know that, you
- 9:38Speaker 4: kind of sweep it under the rug and pretend like
- 9:41Speaker 4: it's not there. So when the siblings acting out, it
- 9:45Speaker 4: must be the siblings fault.
- 9:48Speaker 3: That's so true.
- 9:49Speaker 1: And also denis it kind of sneaks up on you,
- 9:53Speaker 1: like we're just getting through the day, right, there's small
- 9:56Speaker 1: babies and we have them, and then you start adapting
- 10:00Speaker 1: to whatever you need to be adapting to. And then
- 10:02Speaker 1: all of a sudden, they're ten and you're exhausted, or
- 10:06Speaker 1: five and you're exhausted, right, and it's like right, like
- 10:09Speaker 1: I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but oh
- 10:11Speaker 1: my god, I don't know if I'm doing and they
- 10:13Speaker 1: start school and it's a whole other thing.
- 10:15Speaker 3: So right, it's so much. How did you get into this.
- 10:23Speaker 4: Interesting story? Like my why? I got into this? It
- 10:27Speaker 4: was actually listening to you know me, I don't even
- 10:31Speaker 4: know if you know my why, but that that always
- 10:34Speaker 4: hits my emotional button. My why is hearing the stories
- 10:41Speaker 4: of how hard it was for my mom to parent
- 10:45Speaker 4: my brother through his needs because she had no idea
- 10:51Speaker 4: how to help him. She didn't know what was going on.
- 10:54Speaker 4: And he okay, so a little bit of background, like
- 11:01Speaker 4: my brother was speech to has like in today's world,
- 11:05Speaker 4: he may have gotten diagnosed with ADHD or sensor integration issue.
- 11:10Speaker 4: Certainly communication delays, you know, my mom used to say, well,
- 11:14Speaker 4: he couldn't communicate what he needed how he felt or
- 11:18Speaker 4: what he wanted. He was nonverbal until after age two,
- 11:23Speaker 4: and wow, and he was a risk taker, so he'd
- 11:27Speaker 4: get into all kinds of things which led them into
- 11:30Speaker 4: the emergency a lot. And he was inconsolable and cried
- 11:36Speaker 4: a lot of the time, and she didn't know how
- 11:38Speaker 4: to help him. And so there was one day in
- 11:41Speaker 4: Lucky's grocery store where she was shopping for groceries to
- 11:46Speaker 4: put dinner on the table that night, like she did
- 11:48Speaker 4: every night to stay home mom, and a man came
- 11:53Speaker 4: up to them out of nowhere, and he which, which
- 11:58Speaker 4: is such a big thing for my family, please going
- 12:01Speaker 4: out in public with your child? Right, So he came
- 12:03Speaker 4: up and my brother was crying and was not consolable,
- 12:06Speaker 4: and so he got right in her face and said,
- 12:08Speaker 4: my god, woman, can't you stop your kid from crying?
- 12:14Speaker 4: That point, she was so on her last nerve that
- 12:19Speaker 4: she picked him up out of the cart, shoved him
- 12:22Speaker 4: in front of the man's chest and said, no, I can't,
- 12:26Speaker 4: But if you think you can do better, please feel
- 12:29Speaker 4: free to try. Oh my goodness, which is so uncharacteristic
- 12:35Speaker 4: of my very subdued, non challenging mother, right, like very quiet,
- 12:41Speaker 4: saint like mom. She she checked out of the store,
- 12:45Speaker 4: put the kids in the car, sat down in the
- 12:48Speaker 4: front seat and sobbed. Sobbed, and made dinner and put
- 12:54Speaker 4: the kids to bed. Both my brothers to bed. That night.
- 12:56Speaker 4: I was she's pregnant with me, so like I was
- 12:58Speaker 4: there but not quite there yet. And she got home
- 13:02Speaker 4: and she I mean later that night she said, art,
- 13:07Speaker 4: if I don't get help with him, I think I'm
- 13:08Speaker 4: going to end up in the funny farm, which back
- 13:11Speaker 4: then meant I'm going to go crazy. And so knowing
- 13:15Speaker 4: her journey and how much she was suffering alone right
- 13:19Speaker 4: not knowing what to do to help her son, feeling
- 13:23Speaker 4: like I'm the only one who's a failing parent who
- 13:26Speaker 4: doesn't know what to do, you know, And it's like, okay,
- 13:29Speaker 4: so I want to help the child make progress, learn
- 13:33Speaker 4: to speak, and that's what I do, right, Like, I
- 13:35Speaker 4: help the child make progress, whether it's communication or gross
- 13:40Speaker 4: motor or social or cognition or learning to body train,
- 13:44Speaker 4: I don't know whatever. And it's also helping the parent
- 13:48Speaker 4: feel more confident in their parenting, reduce their stress and
- 13:52Speaker 4: overwhelm and fear of the future, like it's it's helping
- 13:55Speaker 4: them know what to do so they can support their child,
- 14:00Speaker 4: go back out into public and be armed like the
- 14:03Speaker 4: Mama bear or the Papa bear that I want them
- 14:04Speaker 4: to be. And so my why like touches me every
- 14:08Speaker 4: day and I feel the parents that are out there
- 14:12Speaker 4: suffering alone, and it's just it's it's criminal because our
- 14:17Speaker 4: systems are so broken with leaving parents on their own,
- 14:21Speaker 4: if then for themselves. And you said, and feel like
- 14:23Speaker 4: I'm talking a lot, but you said, oftentimes, you know,
- 14:26Speaker 4: they get to school, which is true, they get maybe
- 14:28Speaker 4: they're five or maybe they're ten, and that's when they're
- 14:30Speaker 4: getting a label or a diagnosis or an assessment, or
- 14:35Speaker 4: maybe the parent was worried about something, but the pediatrician
- 14:38Speaker 4: wasn't listening. So it's yeah, frustrating for me knowing that
- 14:44Speaker 4: parents know that something's not right, and when they finally
- 14:49Speaker 4: are heard and acknowledged, or when they're finally ready to
- 14:55Speaker 4: take action to support their child and their family, their
- 14:58Speaker 4: whole family and themselves, that's what I love to to do.
- 15:03Speaker 4: I love to come in.
- 15:04Speaker 1: That's what you pop in, Mary Poppins and swoop in
- 15:07Speaker 1: to help them get some type of normalcy to their
- 15:12Speaker 1: life and not be exhausted with that.
- 15:15Speaker 3: I appreciate that.
- 15:16Speaker 4: Well.
- 15:16Speaker 1: I can tell you right now that I had four
- 15:18Speaker 1: children and I knew within the first week that Parker
- 15:24Speaker 1: was going to be different. So moms, no, moms, no,
- 15:28Speaker 1: they just know. Moms just know he was. He was
- 15:32Speaker 1: the absolutely happiest baby. But he was happy on my
- 15:35Speaker 1: hip for two years like that was just where he
- 15:39Speaker 1: needed to be.
- 15:39Speaker 3: And he was.
- 15:40Speaker 1: He was absolutely hilarious. He was so cute with his
- 15:42Speaker 1: big old grinned and laughing all the time. And Journey
- 15:44Speaker 1: made a laugh all the time. It was so cute.
- 15:46Speaker 1: But I knew he was and I knew he was
- 15:47Speaker 1: going to be different. So and moms just no, yeah,
- 15:52Speaker 1: I totally get that. Okay, So I did not know
- 15:54Speaker 1: your why was your mom and your brother.
- 15:58Speaker 3: That touches me. I love that of that. And we
- 16:00Speaker 3: all have a why.
- 16:01Speaker 1: And if we don't have a why, get a why now,
- 16:02Speaker 1: because there's no reason to wake up if you don't
- 16:04Speaker 1: have a why.
- 16:05Speaker 3: Right, Oh, you got to have a why.
- 16:08Speaker 1: But it keeps us going, right when when the world's crazy,
- 16:13Speaker 1: it keeps us going. So I know that your career
- 16:17Speaker 1: has evolved and your business has evolved, and I know,
- 16:20Speaker 1: you just keep adding new things and new things for
- 16:23Speaker 1: your parents and your children, and with COVID happening and
- 16:26Speaker 1: not being able to see them in person, and then
- 16:28Speaker 1: you know, doing your parents support groups and now being
- 16:31Speaker 1: able to go back and work with the kids and stuff.
- 16:33Speaker 1: Tell us, as an expert in this field that you've
- 16:37Speaker 1: been doing for so long, how do you take care
- 16:40Speaker 1: of yourself?
- 16:43Speaker 4: Good question. I have a lot of things that I
- 16:46Speaker 4: do to take care of myself. Had I have to
- 16:48Speaker 4: practice what I preach, right, because that is actually one
- 16:51Speaker 4: of the secret sauce things that I tell parents, Like
- 16:54Speaker 4: if a parent tells me, how do I help my kid?
- 16:56Speaker 4: That's the number one thing is they actually have to
- 16:58Speaker 4: take care of themselves or they won't be able to
- 17:01Speaker 4: take care of the rest of their family. Right oxygen Yeah,
- 17:06Speaker 4: put your own oxygen mask on first. So, so I
- 17:11Speaker 4: have to practice what I preach. And you and I
- 17:13Speaker 4: have been friends for a long long time, and so
- 17:15Speaker 4: you've known when I do that and when I have
- 17:16Speaker 4: fallen off the wagon, so to speak, and kind of.
- 17:19Speaker 3: Which we all do.
- 17:21Speaker 4: We all do. Yeah, yeah, but for me, there's many
- 17:25Speaker 4: many ways. It depends on what I'm what I'm doing like,
- 17:28Speaker 4: if I'm needing to advocate for myself, I'm going to
- 17:30Speaker 4: use certain tools for that right if. But for my
- 17:33Speaker 4: regular day to day stuff, I have a very solid
- 17:36Speaker 4: morning ritual that I absolutely love that grounds me and
- 17:41Speaker 4: sets me up right for success for the day, because
- 17:45Speaker 4: I'm a firm believer that you have to let you
- 17:48Speaker 4: have to figure out how to manage your own emotions.
- 17:50Speaker 4: Otherwise your emotions are going to manage you, and then
- 17:53Speaker 4: you can end up going down the spiral right downward
- 17:55Speaker 4: spiral instead of it up spiral. So it's set me
- 18:00Speaker 4: up for a good day. And as you know, I
- 18:05Speaker 4: just got to go to the beach again, or chose
- 18:07Speaker 4: to go to the beach again yesterday in the midst
- 18:09Speaker 4: of all the stuff I needed to do, because being
- 18:11Speaker 4: out in nature absolutely also grounds me and helps me
- 18:17Speaker 4: take care of myself. It feeds my soul.
- 18:21Speaker 3: I love that.
- 18:21Speaker 1: And we need to have our glass fell in order
- 18:24Speaker 1: to help other people, and I know Denise and I
- 18:26Speaker 1: are very alike that way. My whole life is set
- 18:29Speaker 1: up to be able to be there for my clients
- 18:33Speaker 1: and family and friends and myself. I put myself first
- 18:36Speaker 1: one hundred percent of the time. How I feel how
- 18:39Speaker 1: help sleep, eating everything is all first, I am first
- 18:44Speaker 1: one hundred percent selfish as heck, and I'm very happy
- 18:47Speaker 1: with that.
- 18:48Speaker 3: And in order for us.
- 18:49Speaker 1: To be that way for our clients and what's happening,
- 18:52Speaker 1: we do have to have parameters around our lifestyle that
- 18:57Speaker 1: I think comes with confidence as well, well, which is,
- 19:00Speaker 1: I know what you give to your your parents and
- 19:02Speaker 1: your mama's and papas and the kids as well.
- 19:05Speaker 3: Right, we have to.
- 19:07Speaker 1: Show them we don't know what we don't know. Thank
- 19:10Speaker 1: you Maya Angelou, like we don't know what we don't know,
- 19:13Speaker 1: and once we see someone else living this and going,
- 19:16Speaker 1: oh wow, I can actually do this, That's why I
- 19:18Speaker 1: love your support groups. I know that after losing my children,
- 19:22Speaker 1: I would not be here if it wasn't for support groups.
- 19:24Speaker 1: So I'm so happy that you have support groups so
- 19:27Speaker 1: that other parents see that they're not alone and that
- 19:30Speaker 1: they're not insane like the feelings that we have with
- 19:35Speaker 1: that can actually, like your mom, make you go to
- 19:39Speaker 1: the funny farm. First of all, you do not want
- 19:42Speaker 1: to be in this situation, and this is me speaking
- 19:45Speaker 1: for me. When I got to a certain point where
- 19:48Speaker 1: I do not want to be in this situation and
- 19:50Speaker 1: it's my child, So how much guilt do I have
- 19:53Speaker 1: about that?
- 19:54Speaker 4: And then right, oh my god, huge, Well, nobody's thought
- 20:00Speaker 4: up to be in this camp, right or in this
- 20:02Speaker 4: in this group. I mean, it's not like, Ooh, I
- 20:06Speaker 4: want to have and or I want to have a
- 20:08Speaker 4: child in my dream. My vision is to have a
- 20:11Speaker 4: child in a wheelchair or to have to have a
- 20:13Speaker 4: child or you know, have a child who's nonverbal and
- 20:16Speaker 4: using a talking device, right, or or I want to
- 20:19Speaker 4: have a child who is going to eventually be labeled
- 20:23Speaker 4: with autism or cerem a policy, or Down syndrome or
- 20:27Speaker 4: Angelman syndrome. That's a new one. I haven't heard of.
- 20:30Speaker 4: Sign me up for that. You don't want to be
- 20:34Speaker 4: in this camp. It's not something that you sign up for.
- 20:38Speaker 4: In fact, most people don't know anything at all about
- 20:42Speaker 4: the special needs community until suddenly they have a ticket
- 20:46Speaker 4: and they're on board exactly right. And and the thing
- 20:50Speaker 4: about the groups, thank you for mentioning the groups, Jennifer,
- 20:53Speaker 4: because I'm with you a hundred percent, Like I fully
- 20:56Speaker 4: believe in support groups for families that have kids with
- 21:01Speaker 4: special needs, right because they're so valuable, But parents don't
- 21:06Speaker 4: know that they need it, and most of the time,
- 21:09Speaker 4: when they first start their journey, they're like, oh, hey, no,
- 21:12Speaker 4: I don't want to be in a group, like I
- 21:14Speaker 4: don't belong with Sorry everybody, but I don't belong to
- 21:17Speaker 4: those people. Those people My kids not like that kid, right,
- 21:22Speaker 4: And the reality is, you guys have the same fears,
- 21:25Speaker 4: the same worries, the same stressors, and the kids are
- 21:29Speaker 4: more alike than different. And that's the thing too that
- 21:34Speaker 4: I love preaching, because kids with special needs are more
- 21:39Speaker 4: alike than different than their typical peers, right, And everybody
- 21:44Speaker 4: wants to believe that, And yet they don't want to
- 21:47Speaker 4: believe that their kids, Like I don't want to be
- 21:50Speaker 4: in that special class because then my kid's gonna pick
- 21:52Speaker 4: up behaviors like the other kids in that special class. No,
- 21:57Speaker 4: we actually do so much better when we're recognizing the
- 22:01Speaker 4: strengths that these amazing kids have and the amazing gifts
- 22:06Speaker 4: that they are here to provide for us. Like most
- 22:10Speaker 4: people don't focus on the strengths. They focus on what's
- 22:13Speaker 4: wrong or what's.
- 22:14Speaker 3: Right and how to fix it right.
- 22:16Speaker 4: And so the group for me groups for me because
- 22:19Speaker 4: I have different ones, I have free parents, sport and
- 22:21Speaker 4: discussion groups. And then I have a very low monthly
- 22:24Speaker 4: membership which is like a it's a coaching program and
- 22:30Speaker 4: parents poorkrop ball rolled up into one, which I absolutely
- 22:32Speaker 4: love because it's such an incredibly uplifting, productive group of parents.
- 22:37Speaker 4: But once people are in it, they're like, oh my god,
- 22:41Speaker 4: why didn't I do this sooner? Because your family doesn't
- 22:45Speaker 4: get it right. Your your parents or your friends that
- 22:49Speaker 4: have typically developing kids, they don't understand what you're going through.
- 22:53Speaker 4: They're not on the same journey that parents that have
- 22:57Speaker 4: kids with special needs are on. So it is that
- 22:59Speaker 4: secret sauce, just like you said with with when you
- 23:02Speaker 4: lost your kids, you know, or for me I've had
- 23:04Speaker 4: I've been in trauma groups, like when I had the blockage,
- 23:08Speaker 4: you know, the disability, what was it my third disability?
- 23:11Speaker 4: You know, Like I was thrust into a support group
- 23:14Speaker 4: and wasn't sure I was gonna like it, but it
- 23:18Speaker 4: was the best thing I would have I could have.
- 23:20Speaker 3: You were one of those that.
- 23:23Speaker 4: Don't. I don't belong here. These people are different, you know,
- 23:26Speaker 4: I'm different.
- 23:27Speaker 1: It's like, so I have one rule when I'm around
- 23:31Speaker 1: people that were doing things around food, you have to
- 23:35Speaker 1: try it. If you don't like it, that's fine, but
- 23:37Speaker 1: you have to try it. Same role with this, like
- 23:40Speaker 1: if someone recommends something to you and you see something,
- 23:44Speaker 1: you have to try it, Like it's crazy not to
- 23:46Speaker 1: it's just ego centric not to try it, or your
- 23:51Speaker 1: fear is just way too big.
- 23:53Speaker 4: Ye fear. It's usually fear, right, Like I'm not gonna
- 23:55Speaker 4: like that slimy thing.
- 23:57Speaker 1: Right right, But it's like, okay, just try If you
- 24:00Speaker 1: don't like it, that's fine.
- 24:02Speaker 3: So let me ask Let me ask you this.
- 24:05Speaker 1: What is one of the most asked questions that you get?
- 24:14Speaker 4: Kind of alluded to it a little bit. I think
- 24:16Speaker 4: the number one question often is how do I help
- 24:20Speaker 4: my kid?
- 24:21Speaker 5: What do I do?
- 24:22Speaker 4: How do I help my kiddo? And for me, it's
- 24:27Speaker 4: obviously it's very individualized, Like there's no cookie cutter answer
- 24:31Speaker 4: for any parent, because your child's an individual child with
- 24:36Speaker 4: their specific wants, desires, and needs, and they're in your family,
- 24:40Speaker 4: which is also an individualized family, which is different from
- 24:43Speaker 4: your neighbor or your you know your friends, and so
- 24:46Speaker 4: you want specific things. So for me, there's no cookie
- 24:52Speaker 4: cutter approach to serving a family or serving a child.
- 24:57Speaker 4: I look at where they're starting or what they're dealing with,
- 25:02Speaker 4: and then what we need to do next to reach
- 25:05Speaker 4: where they want to go.
- 25:06Speaker 1: Right, So you do consultations with them because yeah's individualized.
- 25:11Speaker 4: Okay, well yeah, yeah, absolutely, Like I have, every program
- 25:16Speaker 4: that I have is very individualized with families, and it
- 25:18Speaker 4: starts with the conversation. It starts with a complimentary you know,
- 25:22Speaker 4: accelerate your child's progress discovery session.
- 25:25Speaker 3: That's awesome.
- 25:26Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I start with. But like, in a nutshell,
- 25:29Speaker 4: if I were to drill it down to what's kind
- 25:31Speaker 4: of core to every parent, what every parent needs, it's seriously,
- 25:36Speaker 4: it's like refill your your cup, like, let's address store
- 25:40Speaker 4: needs to because when you're depleted and you got nothing
- 25:43Speaker 4: in your cup, you can't give to them, right. And
- 25:47Speaker 4: you know this, like in thinking about Parker, if you're
- 25:50Speaker 4: not your highest best self, you can't support him the
- 25:53Speaker 4: way that your best self would support him.
- 25:55Speaker 1: Or when there's no way that I could have been
- 25:57Speaker 1: my highest best self at that point because I wasn't
- 26:00Speaker 1: reaching out for help. I didn't know I needed it really,
- 26:02Speaker 1: so I definitely was not my best self going through
- 26:07Speaker 1: that whole experience. And so yeah, anybody listening right now,
- 26:12Speaker 1: please definitely reach out, ask for help, check out, denise
- 26:17Speaker 1: anybody that knows someone that could be suffering from anything
- 26:21Speaker 1: at all around any disabilities whatsoever with their family, Like
- 26:27Speaker 1: we have to ask for help, like we have to
- 26:29Speaker 1: reach out to just to see.
- 26:33Speaker 4: That we can't do we can't do it alone.
- 26:35Speaker 3: And why do we think we My.
- 26:36Speaker 4: Mom that I thank god my mom had the smarts
- 26:39Speaker 4: to go home and ask my dad to say, look,
- 26:42Speaker 4: we need help, and thankfully he was able to say,
- 26:45Speaker 4: you know what, Yeah, okay, I can see how you're
- 26:47Speaker 4: supporting our family, so yeah, let's get you some help.
- 26:51Speaker 3: And how do you do you have single parents in
- 26:54Speaker 3: your groups?
- 26:55Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah absolutely, Like I
- 26:57Speaker 4: make everything doable for whether there's single or whether they've
- 27:01Speaker 4: got support or family whatever or not. It's funny because
- 27:03Speaker 4: I just want my brain, as you know, Jennifer, my
- 27:06Speaker 4: brain pops like popcorn, and I go all over the
- 27:07Speaker 4: place depending on where I need to go in the moment.
- 27:10Speaker 4: And I also like, I'm I started. You know, I've
- 27:14Speaker 4: been doing this for thirty years and so it's not
- 27:17Speaker 4: about me. It's about supporting the families. And I started
- 27:19Speaker 4: as an early interventionist, which is birth to three, and
- 27:25Speaker 4: I do I serve families in their home. I do
- 27:28Speaker 4: home visits with families locally, but I also have been
- 27:31Speaker 4: doing virtual services for years, way before COVID, right because
- 27:35Speaker 4: I support medically fragile children and sometimes if they're going
- 27:38Speaker 4: to have a heart transplant, you can't see them for
- 27:40Speaker 4: a while because you don't want to bring in the germs.
- 27:43Speaker 4: But I was thinking about my mom with me because
- 27:46Speaker 4: I had issues when I was born. She had a
- 27:48Speaker 4: home visitor that taught her exercises to do with me,
- 27:53Speaker 4: to support me every time she did a diaper change,
- 27:57Speaker 4: like she had these certain exercises great or like it
- 28:01Speaker 4: was a nurse home visitor back then, right, But I
- 28:04Speaker 4: became the home visitors that my mom had to support
- 28:07Speaker 4: my issues.
- 28:08Speaker 3: That's so cool because I.
- 28:11Speaker 4: Came out feet first and I got stuck right and
- 28:13Speaker 4: so I had to have my leg in a cast
- 28:15Speaker 4: for the first you know, I can't remembers three weeks,
- 28:19Speaker 4: three weeks, four weeks of my life and had all
- 28:22Speaker 4: kinds of issues when I was born, and so I
- 28:26Speaker 4: don't remember where I was going with this, but like
- 28:28Speaker 4: it just it definitely, Oh, I know It definitely stems
- 28:30Speaker 4: from let's address the parents. So my mom was worried
- 28:34Speaker 4: about me, So let's give her something to do to
- 28:37Speaker 4: help decrease the worry. Now she feels empowered. Oh, exercise,
- 28:41Speaker 4: I can do these exercises. Oh, I can embed them
- 28:44Speaker 4: in the regular routine of the day. Fits easy, peasy.
- 28:48Speaker 4: I can deal with the other two children and Denise's
- 28:50Speaker 4: needs because you know, you put it into the diaper
- 28:54Speaker 4: changing or a meal or you know, dressing skills. I
- 28:57Speaker 4: don't know, whatever. It's easy. That's not hard. So over
- 29:02Speaker 4: the year hard, but.
- 29:03Speaker 3: It's I love the way you integrate it.
- 29:06Speaker 4: Yeah, I have to.
- 29:07Speaker 3: So what did you do after that the early years?
- 29:16Speaker 4: After the early years you mean of like my career
- 29:18Speaker 4: kind of thing, Yeah, you did one to three and
- 29:20Speaker 4: then yeah, well I started, I mean I probably started
- 29:25Speaker 4: before that. I mean, I'm working with kids with special
- 29:27Speaker 4: needs my whole life, really, but I ran the high
- 29:31Speaker 4: risk infant program at Stanford, decided I wanted to go
- 29:35Speaker 4: back for my master's degree in early childhood specialists so
- 29:37Speaker 4: I could be providing the services to families in their homes.
- 29:43Speaker 4: When I realized the systems were broken, like the federal systems,
- 29:46Speaker 4: were broken and kids weren't actually getting what they needed
- 29:49Speaker 4: to get. It was probably around the time I started
- 29:51Speaker 4: to do my own private work too, which expanded to kids,
- 29:55Speaker 4: you know, beyond age three and you know five six.
- 29:59Speaker 4: Now I still work with kids like birth to ten ish,
- 30:04Speaker 4: depending on the child is my favorite age to work
- 30:07Speaker 4: with in the home still and providing services for families.
- 30:11Speaker 4: But I have clients right now that have adult children
- 30:15Speaker 4: and I'm supporting the parents, like I'm a parent coach
- 30:18Speaker 4: in therapist, so I can help their children through helping
- 30:22Speaker 4: them And that's usually more virtual work right or through
- 30:27Speaker 4: the Special Needs Connection membership program because I can help
- 30:30Speaker 4: them through the group program. But yeah, it just depends
- 30:34Speaker 4: on what the family is looking for, what the family needs,
- 30:38Speaker 4: because sometimes it's helping the child make progress. Sometimes it's
- 30:42Speaker 4: helping the parent make progress or work through the parent
- 30:46Speaker 4: to make progress for the child. That's wonderful.
- 30:50Speaker 3: I love that. I love that.
- 30:51Speaker 1: And you're in the Bay area and they can reach
- 30:55Speaker 1: you at special Advantage dot com. Can they sign up
- 30:57Speaker 1: for that complimentary check in thing from that website?
- 31:00Speaker 4: Absolutely, they can reach out to me to connect with me.
- 31:04Speaker 4: If they peek at my services page, they could look
- 31:06Speaker 4: at the variety of stuff that I offer and see
- 31:09Speaker 4: if anything fits for them specifically. And if it does,
- 31:12Speaker 4: like if they know, oh my god, I'm totally living
- 31:15Speaker 4: in fear. I can't even go outside or even think
- 31:19Speaker 4: about how to go outside right now with my child,
- 31:22Speaker 4: then maybe it's a you know, parent empowerment VIP program
- 31:25Speaker 4: that we talk about, or if it's you know, like
- 31:29Speaker 4: my favorite ideal client is a client who's brand spanking
- 31:34Speaker 4: new to this world in this journey and they're like,
- 31:39Speaker 4: I'm new to all this, I don't know what I
- 31:41Speaker 4: don't know and help exactly so you know, they'll find
- 31:48Speaker 4: whatever's right for them. But yeah, we can talk, like
- 31:51Speaker 4: have a complimentary you know session. I do that because
- 31:56Speaker 4: if I'm the right fit, great, and I'm going to
- 31:58Speaker 4: tell parent exactly how I would sport their child in
- 32:02Speaker 4: helping their development, or how I could support the family
- 32:05Speaker 4: to move forward and get out of whatever they're stuck in.
- 32:08Speaker 4: And if I'm not the right fit, I'm not going
- 32:11Speaker 4: to offer a family anything. I'm going to tell them
- 32:13Speaker 4: this is not the right I'm not the right person
- 32:15Speaker 4: for you. Here's where you should go and contact this
- 32:18Speaker 4: program or go to these people instead. Because I don't
- 32:21Speaker 4: want to waste anybody's time.
- 32:23Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that. I love that. So give me
- 32:26Speaker 3: an example of.
- 32:31Speaker 1: Like a home visit, Like what what would you do
- 32:35Speaker 1: when you walked into a home.
- 32:38Speaker 4: I love that.
- 32:41Speaker 5: My day is so unique and so different every single day,
- 32:44Speaker 5: which is what I love. I'll think of a couple
- 32:51Speaker 5: that I have going on right now as a way. Yeah,
- 32:56Speaker 5: So I have a little girl that I'm working with
- 32:58Speaker 5: right now, and I usually visit with the little girl.
- 33:01Speaker 4: With her mom. Sometimes the sister joins us too. But
- 33:06Speaker 4: she has down syndrome and I actually I think she
- 33:09Speaker 4: has a dual diagnosis down syndrome and autism. But she's
- 33:13Speaker 4: ten and we've been working. They hired me for the
- 33:20Speaker 4: year actually through Regional Centers Self Determination program, which is
- 33:25Speaker 4: totally awesome and new for me. So the family isn't
- 33:28Speaker 4: out anything. But I have been helping them potty train
- 33:35Speaker 4: her and I've been working on helping them teach her
- 33:41Speaker 4: how to use fork and an actually self feeding rather
- 33:46Speaker 4: than just spoon feeding right our fingers. So part of
- 33:51Speaker 4: that was also learning to sit at the table and eat.
- 33:56Speaker 4: Her favorite way of sitting was to kind of crisscross.
- 34:00Speaker 4: I'm a low tone too, So I get it. These
- 34:02Speaker 4: kids with down syndrome typically or low tone kids like
- 34:04Speaker 4: she'd sit with her feet across and on the table,
- 34:08Speaker 4: so part of it was to help her learn to
- 34:11Speaker 4: keep her feet down load.
- 34:14Speaker 3: What does low tone mean?
- 34:16Speaker 4: Oh, thank you for asking that question. So we all
- 34:23Speaker 4: have tone in our body. Tone is what drives us
- 34:26Speaker 4: to be able to use our muscles to pick up
- 34:29Speaker 4: a glass and drink. If I have high tone, like
- 34:35Speaker 4: a child maybe who has cerebral palsy for example, everybody
- 34:39Speaker 4: can kind of have a picture of what that looks like.
- 34:42Speaker 4: I might be more like Barbie or Ken, or my
- 34:46Speaker 4: arms are tight, or my my movements are more stiff.
- 34:50Speaker 4: I might pick up a glass, and it's a little
- 34:53Speaker 4: harder to do. Low tone is more like a raggedy ann,
- 34:57Speaker 4: a raggedy andy doll. So I'm still gonna want to
- 35:02Speaker 4: pick up that glass, but it's harder because now I
- 35:06Speaker 4: have a lower tone, Like my muscles don't. My muscles
- 35:10Speaker 4: are different, right, you can see the difference typical muscle.
- 35:13Speaker 4: I want it. And it's also the eyes too coordinating,
- 35:16Speaker 4: Like I see the glass, I'm gonna go get the glass.
- 35:18Speaker 4: I got the glass. I picked up the glass and
- 35:20Speaker 4: I put it to my helth there's a lot that
- 35:23Speaker 4: motor skills involve your everything's together, like in my world
- 35:28Speaker 4: is a developmental specialist. This is what I love about this,
- 35:31Speaker 4: Like developing the ability to speak to someone isn't just speech,
- 35:37Speaker 4: it's also cognition and social skills blended. So I want
- 35:42Speaker 4: to look at the whole child's development. So motor skills
- 35:46Speaker 4: is going to impact how you eat or drink or
- 35:50Speaker 4: walk across the room and interact with your brother or
- 35:53Speaker 4: your mom, right right, And so looking outside the box
- 36:00Speaker 4: of just my child can't talk helps a parent recognize
- 36:05Speaker 4: what's really going.
- 36:06Speaker 1: On, right, So further than that, Okay, so now you're
- 36:09Speaker 1: with that's what I do.
- 36:11Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's kind of what I do home visit.
- 36:13Speaker 4: It's like I might get now, are.
- 36:14Speaker 1: You also helping the parent to continue that training when
- 36:18Speaker 1: you're not there, kind of like any type of training
- 36:21Speaker 1: that we all need, it's a it's a daily thing.
- 36:23Speaker 4: Right right. So that's what I love about what I do.
- 36:28Speaker 4: And then that was just kind of one example of
- 36:30Speaker 4: a home visit that I totally went off on a
- 36:31Speaker 4: tangent because there's so many things like I would say,
- 36:35Speaker 4: ninety eight percent of the families who reach out to
- 36:37Speaker 4: me want help learning, want help with their child's communication skills.
- 36:42Speaker 4: I want my child to talk, okay, great, so let
- 36:45Speaker 4: me help you with that. And it's going to be
- 36:46Speaker 4: it's always going to be what does your child like
- 36:49Speaker 4: to do, because I always want to work through whatever's
- 36:52Speaker 4: fun for your child. So it could be if it's
- 36:55Speaker 4: an older child, it might be video games, right, Like,
- 36:57Speaker 4: I've got a twenty one year old right now that
- 36:59Speaker 4: I'm working with and it's video games or pugs is
- 37:03Speaker 4: her favorite thing, so we work with that. For another child,
- 37:08Speaker 4: maybe it's blocks or trains, So we're going to do
- 37:11Speaker 4: something with blocks and trains to help with communication skills
- 37:16Speaker 4: or social emotional skills. Like whatever our goal is, whatever
- 37:20Speaker 4: the parents' goals are or what we feel are the
- 37:22Speaker 4: right goals, we're going to I'm going to teach through
- 37:25Speaker 4: something fun because in my my core belief is if
- 37:29Speaker 4: the child's not having fun, they're never going to participate
- 37:33Speaker 4: in whatever it is we're trying to do, right, They're gonna.
- 37:36Speaker 3: Always way I push you away, right.
- 37:40Speaker 4: And if the parents not having fun, they're never going
- 37:43Speaker 4: to follow through either with whatever it is right. So
- 37:47Speaker 4: I don't give homework because I think that sets a
- 37:49Speaker 4: parent up for failure if they don't do it, and
- 37:52Speaker 4: for feeling guilty if they don't do it. So I
- 37:55Speaker 4: try to think about and ask, well, what does your
- 37:58Speaker 4: child love to do and what do you love to do?
- 38:01Speaker 4: And how can we blend the two so you're going
- 38:04Speaker 4: to actually do stuff. So with the child, I was
- 38:06Speaker 4: just telling you about mom loves art, but the daughter's
- 38:09Speaker 4: never been able to do artwork because of her special needs.
- 38:12Speaker 4: So now we're making it. I'm so excited with this
- 38:17Speaker 4: because like she's painting, like we're making a lemonade stand.
- 38:21Speaker 4: It sounds ridiculous, but we've put together a box, We've
- 38:24Speaker 4: created a lemonade stand. The little girl and her mom
- 38:27Speaker 4: are painting together. I've got great memories of Mom laughing
- 38:31Speaker 4: and doing this great activity with her daughter because she's
- 38:36Speaker 4: having fun and she's seeing the progress that her daughter's making.
- 38:40Speaker 4: And yes, it's not about just the time that I'm
- 38:43Speaker 4: there with the family. It's for me to teach the
- 38:46Speaker 4: parents what to do when I'm not there. Right, that's key, Right,
- 38:50Speaker 4: it's key. So I mean sometimes I use the sibling
- 38:53Speaker 4: and it's like I teach the sibling how to have
- 38:55Speaker 4: fun with their the little guy or the little girl,
- 38:58Speaker 4: So that way they're able to continue the therapy when
- 39:01Speaker 4: I'm not there, when mom's busy in the kitchen or
- 39:04Speaker 4: dad's you know, working, So it's it is more of
- 39:08Speaker 4: a twenty four to seven thing, but they don't have
- 39:11Speaker 4: to feel like, did I get the homework in today?
- 39:14Speaker 4: Did I help my child today? Well? Yeah, you totally
- 39:18Speaker 4: helped your child today because you did the therapy, you
- 39:22Speaker 4: worked on communication when you were giving them a bath.
- 39:27Speaker 3: You know that's awesome. Yeah, So how do they know?
- 39:31Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you this, how soon does it
- 39:34Speaker 1: take for your parents to usually tell you, oh my gosh,
- 39:38Speaker 1: I'm so glad I hired.
- 39:39Speaker 4: You, Oh my god. Usually the first session they're like.
- 39:43Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god.
- 39:43Speaker 4: My child never ever, ever, ever does this with anyone.
- 39:46Speaker 4: How did you get them to do that? Like, well,
- 39:50Speaker 4: kind of like the pipe piper with kids, And it's
- 39:53Speaker 4: a gift. I will absolutely I mean, whatever your belief
- 39:56Speaker 4: systems are, I get it. Everybody's different, but I absolutely
- 39:59Speaker 4: know that I have a from God and my gift
- 40:01Speaker 4: is to see people exactly where they're at, who they
- 40:04Speaker 4: are and all the gifts that they have that they
- 40:07Speaker 4: bring to this world. And oftentimes people who have a
- 40:10Speaker 4: child with special needs or the community doesn't see those gifts,
- 40:14Speaker 4: but I do, and so I can join the child
- 40:16Speaker 4: right where they're at in that moment and get them
- 40:20Speaker 4: to do things that maybe no one else did because
- 40:24Speaker 4: they weren't really listening. Not to say that parents don't
- 40:27Speaker 4: listen to their kids, but because I absolutely believe parents
- 40:30Speaker 4: are the experts on their kids one hundred percent. But
- 40:33Speaker 4: I think it's a partnership, Like it's a it's expert
- 40:37Speaker 4: parents with an ex special needs expert bringing out the
- 40:41Speaker 4: child's best. So yeah, if it's not the first session,
- 40:45Speaker 4: it's certainly within the first month.
- 40:47Speaker 3: I love it.
- 40:48Speaker 1: I love that I had the same exact experience as well, Like,
- 40:51Speaker 1: because we can make so much change quicker, and we
- 40:54Speaker 1: just don't know what we don't know.
- 40:55Speaker 4: I was just going to say that we don't know
- 40:57Speaker 4: what we don't know, and that's why it's so helpful
- 40:59Speaker 4: to ask for help when you need it, because you
- 41:03Speaker 4: don't know what you don't know.
- 41:04Speaker 6: And I don't even know even if you don't know
- 41:06Speaker 6: what it is, right, Like, you're my coach, you're my
- 41:09Speaker 6: my financial planner because I don't know what I don't know, right,
- 41:13Speaker 6: I'm I'm gonna hire coaches to help support me with
- 41:16Speaker 6: what I don't know.
- 41:17Speaker 4: So yeah, so if people are out there suffering, ask
- 41:22Speaker 4: for help. Yeah, just makes sense.
- 41:25Speaker 3: Sure. I love that. I love that.
- 41:27Speaker 1: Okay, So now tell me a story, because we love stories.
- 41:31Speaker 1: So tell me a story. Maybe one of your I
- 41:35Speaker 1: know you love them all equally, but maybe a success story,
- 41:40Speaker 1: just some type of success story.
- 41:43Speaker 4: A success story. Oh my god, there's so many. Which
- 41:48Speaker 4: success story do I want to bring up? Gosh, there's
- 41:54Speaker 4: so many. Okay, I'm thinking of family that I worked with.
- 42:01Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, this was such a fun family to
- 42:03Speaker 4: work with. So, and my example is from I got
- 42:11Speaker 4: a referral. I think I got a I think the
- 42:13Speaker 4: referral came from Stanford Children's Hospital. Many of mine do.
- 42:17Speaker 1: Yeah, let me interrupt you before you go to the story.
- 42:19Speaker 1: How do people get your services paid for? I'm private
- 42:24Speaker 1: pay so, but you just mentioned the Stanford and then
- 42:27Speaker 1: you mentioned something else earlier.
- 42:29Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a private pay program so, but I have
- 42:34Speaker 4: different price points. So there's you know, money doesn't have
- 42:38Speaker 4: to be an option if families want to connect. I
- 42:40Speaker 4: have a free parent support and a discussion group that's
- 42:44Speaker 4: an ongoing group that they can reach out and join.
- 42:47Speaker 4: I have my special Needs Connection membership program that I mentioned,
- 42:51Speaker 4: and I actually would love to offer your peeps something
- 42:55Speaker 4: at the end if possible. First, so they had to
- 42:57Speaker 4: say to the end thing for them, a guft ee
- 43:01Speaker 4: if you will. And then I have different programs, VIP programs,
- 43:05Speaker 4: or parents could pay for me privately, you know, per hour,
- 43:09Speaker 4: or hire me that way or whatever. I'm I'm I'm
- 43:12Speaker 4: a set price point and it's cheaper if they purchase
- 43:16Speaker 4: a program because I want to make it affordable.
- 43:19Speaker 3: As a family, and you can do more good when
- 43:21Speaker 3: they are an appropriate und percent.
- 43:23Speaker 4: But I'm not I'm I don't want people to think, oh, well,
- 43:26Speaker 4: I can't afford it because you haven't talked to me,
- 43:28Speaker 4: so you don't even know what you need yet. So
- 43:30Speaker 4: so but yeah, but I'm not. I'm because I'm a
- 43:32Speaker 4: developmental specialist. Insurance companies don't reimburse typically for my services,
- 43:39Speaker 4: although some families have managed to have that happen. Usually
- 43:42Speaker 4: I get referrals from people who know what I do
- 43:46Speaker 4: and don't want to see a family struggling so Stanford
- 43:50Speaker 4: is one of those places that constantly refers to me.
- 43:54Speaker 4: This was a family, and I was going to say,
- 43:56Speaker 4: it's just because it's an example of a young young kiddo.
- 44:01Speaker 4: Doesn't mean I don't work with older families. But this
- 44:03Speaker 4: particular family, he was a micro PREMI, which is part
- 44:07Speaker 4: of my specialty, meaning he was born at twenty five
- 44:10Speaker 4: weeks gestation forty weeks is term, so he was very,
- 44:15Speaker 4: very very early, and he was at risk for many
- 44:21Speaker 4: many issues because of his complicated birth history. So I
- 44:27Speaker 4: started home visiting with this family and his older sister
- 44:32Speaker 4: and also their nanny because it was like a full
- 44:36Speaker 4: comprehensive like I worked with the grandparents, I work with mom,
- 44:39Speaker 4: I work with dad. And the reason what makes it
- 44:42Speaker 4: a success story is I worked with them on every
- 44:46Speaker 4: area of development for him. We worked on motor skills,
- 44:49Speaker 4: we worked on cognition skills, we worked on feeding, we
- 44:53Speaker 4: worked on communication, we worked on dressing skills, worked on
- 45:00Speaker 4: everything you could possibly think of. And they were told, yeah,
- 45:04Speaker 4: your child's probably never going to walk, he may never
- 45:07Speaker 4: tell you I love you, don't expect him to be
- 45:10Speaker 4: able to speak, and he didn't even need any And
- 45:14Speaker 4: I mean like any special ed services by the time
- 45:17Speaker 4: he was three, and he ended up going to the
- 45:21Speaker 4: bing Preschool program, which is Stanford's preschool program, which you
- 45:25Speaker 4: have to have a certain level of ability to actually
- 45:29Speaker 4: be able to attend. So it popped in my head
- 45:32Speaker 4: as a success story because one this family was very
- 45:36Speaker 4: eager to learn how to support and help their child
- 45:38Speaker 4: and make progress, and they were following through with the
- 45:42Speaker 4: recommendations because it was easy to do and fun and
- 45:48Speaker 4: like both kids learned together, and yeah, it was just awesome.
- 45:53Speaker 3: That is a great success story.
- 45:56Speaker 4: Thanks. Yeah, like, that's my goal. My goal is that
- 45:58Speaker 4: kids don't need any help down the road.
- 46:03Speaker 3: And is there anyone that stopped before you think?
- 46:10Speaker 1: Well, if probably, I mean you can help them all
- 46:13Speaker 1: the way through their life. So that's probably a difficult question.
- 46:17Speaker 1: So give me another example. Let's see how much time
- 46:21Speaker 1: do we have left? I forget that I'm talking to
- 46:25Speaker 1: you on a time limit.
- 46:26Speaker 4: That's true.
- 46:28Speaker 3: Oh yeah, left?
- 46:31Speaker 4: Oh god, oh my god, okay, three minutes left. Well,
- 46:34Speaker 4: then let me give your your peeps a special thing.
- 46:38Speaker 4: So anyone who's interested in learning more about who I
- 46:42Speaker 4: am and what I do, because I haven't really talked
- 46:45Speaker 4: well I've talked about what I do, but if you
- 46:46Speaker 4: want to know more about me, visit special advantage dot
- 46:48Speaker 4: com can also look at all the different things that
- 46:51Speaker 4: I have, and there's more that it's not even there.
- 46:54Speaker 4: But but I really really love my Special Needs Connection
- 46:58Speaker 4: Membership group. I I'm about to do some launching, you know,
- 47:03Speaker 4: marketing work to kind of open up enrollment. And it's
- 47:09Speaker 4: such a fabulous program that I believe in, and I
- 47:14Speaker 4: have people finding me all over Like I don't just
- 47:16Speaker 4: coach in the Bay Area. I have families all over
- 47:18Speaker 4: the US and families and other countries that are finding
- 47:22Speaker 4: me as well and working with me. So I love
- 47:24Speaker 4: supporting families. And if anyone wants to join and try
- 47:28Speaker 4: out the Special Needs Connection Membership program at a reduced rate,
- 47:33Speaker 4: it's it's usually right now, right now, it's one hundred
- 47:35Speaker 4: and seventy seven dollars a month. And for your peeps,
- 47:39Speaker 4: if they type in and use a coupon code piece
- 47:42Speaker 4: of Mind all one word peace of Mind, then they
- 47:47Speaker 4: get a huge break and it's only eleven dollars for
- 47:49Speaker 4: the month.
- 47:50Speaker 3: Oh my god.
- 47:52Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm all about elevens or ones and sevens, So
- 47:57Speaker 4: they can try try it out and see if they
- 47:58Speaker 4: like that. Being supported and having guidance, answers and support
- 48:02Speaker 4: to help their child may progress for just eleven bucks.
- 48:04Speaker 4: If they like it, great, stay in it.
- 48:06Speaker 3: If not, bounce, no risk another Bucks. You got a
- 48:10Speaker 3: tryer for a month for sure, try it right.
- 48:13Speaker 4: Try the food.
- 48:15Speaker 3: Yeah, try the food. Eleven dollars.
- 48:17Speaker 4: I'm not the right fit. That's okay, find someone else.
- 48:21Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 48:22Speaker 1: I love that, Denise, Thank you so much, Thank you
- 48:25Speaker 1: so much.
- 48:25Speaker 3: I truly appreciate that.
- 48:27Speaker 1: And I know that we we do need help in
- 48:29Speaker 1: this uh, in this community, and like I have obviously,
- 48:33Speaker 1: I'm grief support for people have lost children. I attended
- 48:37Speaker 1: a gala last night the Monique Wooley Foundation, a more
- 48:41Speaker 1: very good friend of mine that I met here in
- 48:43Speaker 1: Beverly Hills and her daughter committed suicide and so she
- 48:46Speaker 1: has a foundation for her and that's my one of
- 48:48Speaker 1: my passions, right, So we had a nineteen twenties gala
- 48:51Speaker 1: last night. It was so amazing when feeling blue think
- 48:55Speaker 1: yellow is her thing, so cool.
- 48:57Speaker 3: We definitely want to sport what's happening.
- 49:01Speaker 1: And there's so many different, so many different aspects of life,
- 49:06Speaker 1: and I love to send anyone to you in a
- 49:09Speaker 1: special needs community because you're so vast in your knowledge
- 49:13Speaker 1: and your experience and helping thousands of children and speaking
- 49:16Speaker 1: with thousands of parents like you get them, like you
- 49:19Speaker 1: get what's happening, and you can get them quickly.
- 49:22Speaker 3: I mean, I say the same thing about money for help.
- 49:25Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, out of their struggle. So yeah, And it's.
- 49:29Speaker 1: So I don't want to say easy for you, because
- 49:31Speaker 1: that's it's just that once we've done something for so long,
- 49:34Speaker 1: we're actually really good at it.
- 49:36Speaker 3: It's it's we can we can help people very.
- 49:39Speaker 4: Quickly, right, very quickly. You're right, And I love it
- 49:43Speaker 4: so I I thank you for letting me join you here.
- 49:46Speaker 4: I I know that everyone knows someone that has a
- 49:49Speaker 4: child with a special needs. So it's it's just nice
- 49:53Speaker 4: to have a platform to actually be able to share
- 49:56Speaker 4: it you and share about this amazing community of people.
- 50:00Speaker 4: Like I said that you never really want to be
- 50:01Speaker 4: in the club, but once you're in the club, you're
- 50:03Speaker 4: in the club for.
- 50:03Speaker 3: Life, and you need some help, and you need some help.
- 50:05Speaker 4: I love it.
- 50:06Speaker 1: Well. I hope you all have an amazing day. Happy
- 50:09Speaker 1: birthday to my week. It's awesome and I hope you
- 50:11Speaker 1: all can say, I love to rock my finances.
- 50:16Speaker 4: I rock my finances, hie.
- 50:19Speaker 2: For now, we appreciate you joining us today, and don't
- 50:23Speaker 2: forget to subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel
- 50:27Speaker 2: for more engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is
- 50:31Speaker 2: your money story? Let's find out with Jennifer four pm
- 50:34Speaker 2: Eastern one pm Pacific every Thursday right here on K
- 50:38Speaker 2: four HD Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about
- 50:42Speaker 2: the zeros, It's about the F word, feeling, feelings. Jennifer
- 50:47Speaker 2: can't wait to explore with you next week. Until then,
- 50:50Speaker 2: let's all say, I rock my Finances