Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / Bigger Than Volleyball: Carli Lloyd On Surmounting Setbacks, Training Your Mind & the Power of Self-Talk

Transcript

Bigger Than Volleyball: Carli Lloyd On Surmounting Setbacks, Training Your Mind & the Power of Self-Talk · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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  Speaker 1: You have to put in the work. It's about what
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  Speaker 1: you're going to give. That's what you're going to get
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: out of this is how much you're going to give.
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  Speaker 2: Hey, Hurdler's Emily Vadi.
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  Speaker 3: Here you are listening to another episode of Hurdle, a
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  Speaker 3: podcast featuring the mindset, secrets and true stories of the
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  Speaker 3: most inspiring women in sports and wellness, empowering you to
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  Speaker 3: live a happier, healthier, more motivated life and of course,
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  Speaker 3: conquer your own hurdles. On this week's episode, I am
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  Speaker 3: sitting down with Carly Lloyd. She's a world class volleyball
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  Speaker 3: player for League One Volleyball's often team, as well as
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  Speaker 3: an Olympia who recently celebrated her second consecutive championship. When
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  Speaker 3: in our convo, Carly shows her journey through professional volleyball,
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  Speaker 3: from playing thirteen seasons abroad in countries like Italy and
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  Speaker 3: Brazil to the joy of finally competing on home soil
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  Speaker 3: in the US. She opens up about the immense hurdles
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  Speaker 3: she's faced, including the heartbreaking loss of her father at
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  Speaker 3: a young age, the grueling for your cycle of being
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  Speaker 3: cut from the national team before finally reaching the Olympic
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  Speaker 3: podium in twenty sixteen, and how she manages the transition
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  Speaker 3: between high stakes competition and her role as a mother.
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  Speaker 3: We also do a deep dive into her mindset secrets,
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  Speaker 3: discussing how daily meditation, journaling, and a commitment to transparency
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  Speaker 3: have helped her navigate the highs and lows of professional sports.
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  Speaker 2: Make sure you're following along with.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Hurdle over on social It's over at Hurdle podcast. You
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: can also check out Iheartwoman's Sports over at Iheartwoman's Sports
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: and Me over at Emily Abody. Listen to Hurdle with
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Emily Abody on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever
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  Speaker 3: you get your podcasts. And with that, let's get to it.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Let's get to hurdling.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Today. I am sitting down with Carly Lloyd.
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  Speaker 3: She's an Olympian, she's a player for love Austin, Carly Lloyd,
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  Speaker 3: Welcome to Hurdle.
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  Speaker 2: How are we doing.
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  Speaker 1: I'm great, Thanks, Emily, thanks for having me. I'm really
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  Speaker 1: excited to be here with you.
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  Speaker 3: I am so excited to be here with you because
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  Speaker 3: you've had quite the week.
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  Speaker 1: What didn't you say, Yeah, I literally just got back
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  Speaker 1: home yesterday from a whirlwind of finishing the season and
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  Speaker 1: wrapping things up, and here we.
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  Speaker 2: Are finishing the season.
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  Speaker 3: She's not acknowledging the elephant in the room, which is
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  Speaker 3: the big win.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, we won the twenty twenty six championship for League
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  Speaker 1: One with Austin on was that Saturday?
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  Speaker 2: What do we have Monday?
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  Speaker 1: Two days ago in Long Beach, California and we are
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  Speaker 1: legit back to back champions which is unreal. It still
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  Speaker 1: feels like I haven't had time to like really process it.
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  Speaker 1: We've just been moving and figuring all the things out.
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  Speaker 3: But it was incredible, incredible back to back champions so special,
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  Speaker 3: especially because the league really is in its infancy. What
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  Speaker 3: do you credit this title number two too? And I'm
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  Speaker 3: sure that it's not a singular thing.
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  Speaker 1: That's to say, Well, I mean, honestly, both seasons were
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  Speaker 1: quite up and down. This season, I would say maybe
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  Speaker 1: even a little more. We had a lot of returners
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  Speaker 1: this year, I think nine returners from last year's team
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  Speaker 1: and some new staff on board, and went through the
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  Speaker 1: league like regular season, just not performing consistently.
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  Speaker 2: You know, we won.
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  Speaker 1: We were at seven and ten at one point in
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  Speaker 1: the season, and this year only four teams were going
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  Speaker 1: to be able to make it to playoffs. The structure
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  Speaker 1: was a little different last year. I think we pushed
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  Speaker 1: through the low moments in really and really difficult times
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  Speaker 1: just by staying committed to the process and like what
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  Speaker 1: our team was capable of. We knew what we were
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  Speaker 1: capable of, and we needed to recommit every day to
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  Speaker 1: just getting better, literally one ball at a time.
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  Speaker 2: And I think it was this team.
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  Speaker 1: We had a really special group of girls that were
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  Speaker 1: committed to each other and to helping each other be great,
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  Speaker 1: and that's special. It's hard to find that. I think
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  Speaker 1: just that component of having a true team got us.
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  Speaker 1: I think to the end, one ball at a time.
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  Speaker 2: This is about volleyball. This is not about volleyball.
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  Speaker 3: What a metaphor for getting through a lot of the
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  Speaker 3: challenges and the hurdles that life throws at us.
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  Speaker 2: I call the listeners hurdlers.
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  Speaker 3: You're a hurdler yourself, and that you certainly have overcome
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  Speaker 3: your fair amount of challenges to get to this point.
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  Speaker 3: So talk to me a little bit about how your
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  Speaker 3: past experiences have enabled and empowered you to focus on
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  Speaker 3: that do one thing at a time, get over one
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  Speaker 3: thing at a time.
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  Speaker 2: Mentality.
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  Speaker 1: I have been playing this sport for a long time.
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  Speaker 1: I've been living this life for quite a long time.
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  Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm one of the oldest players in
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  Speaker 1: the league at this point, and I seriously feel like
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  Speaker 1: I'm here and still playing this because I've been committed to.
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  Speaker 2: The hard things.
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  Speaker 1: I've been committed to getting through the hard things, and
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  Speaker 1: I've been welcoming them so that i can learn and
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  Speaker 1: grow and continue to evolve as a human being. I've
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  Speaker 1: had a ton of failures throughout my career and a
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  Speaker 1: lot of hardship, personal hardship in my life at an
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  Speaker 1: early age, and I just feel like the mindset of
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  Speaker 1: embracing the fact that we're going to have change all
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  Speaker 1: the time and we're not going to know what that
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  Speaker 1: change and that hardship might be is really important. I
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  Speaker 1: have a lot of specific moments that are like stories
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  Speaker 1: that I could share, but I think the main component
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  Speaker 1: of all of this is just the idea of knowing
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  Speaker 1: that things aren't going to be easy, and if you
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  Speaker 1: just stay as present as you can in the moment
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  Speaker 1: that you're in and do what you can to control
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  Speaker 1: whatever it is that it's in my control, then you're
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  Speaker 1: doing the best you can and hopefully things are going
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  Speaker 1: to work out the way you want them to. But
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  Speaker 1: this season specifically, it was hard, and there were a
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  Speaker 1: lot of challenges that came up, and I think every
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  Speaker 1: time it happened, I just would stay grounded and committed
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  Speaker 1: to my process of showing up to me the best
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  Speaker 1: that I could be and whatever Coulp, Paccy your role.
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  Speaker 1: That was every single day for the collective mission of
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  Speaker 1: what we wanted to do, and I think our team
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  Speaker 1: did a good job of that. But yeah, that's kind
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  Speaker 1: of how I've approached my life, I guess.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, And so many people might hear that and say,
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  Speaker 3: easier said than done. When a difficult moment crosses your path,
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  Speaker 3: how have you got into this place where you can
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  Speaker 3: meet the moment instead of perhaps allowing anger to step in.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I think in the past that happened a lot
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  Speaker 1: anger or defeat or just grief of moments. Like I
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  Speaker 1: think throughout my life, I've learned it's not always been this,
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  Speaker 1: It's not always been this way, this kind of welcoming
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  Speaker 1: of the hardship. I think I've learned over time that
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  Speaker 1: it's through the hardship that we learn the greatest lessons.
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  Speaker 1: So when it does present itself, I think it's here
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  Speaker 1: for a reason, and I'm going to learn in this
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  Speaker 1: and so that that sort of embracing it and knowing
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  Speaker 1: that it's inevitable, it's always going to happen. We're going
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  Speaker 1: to ride these highs and these lows all the time.
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  Speaker 1: And sometimes when I'm on those those high moments, I'll
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  Speaker 1: take a second to say, this is really rad, but
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  Speaker 1: it's not going to be forever. And I know that
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  Speaker 1: something is going to come, and and it's almost welcoming
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  Speaker 1: it because I know that on the other side of
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  Speaker 1: it there's something beautiful that can come.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's a beauty full perspective. And
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  Speaker 3: I was chatting with a girlfriend who recently ran the
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  Speaker 3: Boston Marathon and didn't get the result that she had
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  Speaker 3: hoped for, large in part due to things that were
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  Speaker 3: beyond her control. And I said, the thing is is
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  Speaker 3: that you run for days to go like yesterday. You
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  Speaker 3: run because of it reminding you who you really are,
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  Speaker 3: and when things don't go your way, that's really why
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  Speaker 3: we run. We run to experience that, right And so
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  Speaker 3: for you to have hardships and challenges as you articulated
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  Speaker 3: early on in your life. It's those things that have
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  Speaker 3: instilled in you and taught you who it is that
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  Speaker 3: you really are as well.
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  Speaker 1: Totally and I in hard moments when they present themselves now,
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  Speaker 1: I look at them and I really do reflect on
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  Speaker 1: I've been here in a similar situation or something harder before.
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  Speaker 1: And I also am very aware that there are people
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  Speaker 1: in this world that are going through much harder things.
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  Speaker 1: So the perspective of it's hard for me, I've been
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  Speaker 1: through hard things before, and other people are going through
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  Speaker 1: much harder. It gives me strength that I can get through.
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  Speaker 1: I can get through something. Also I can help others
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  Speaker 1: through it too by just staying committed to doing the
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  Speaker 1: best that I can. That's really the theme of my
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  Speaker 1: life is just do the best that I can all
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  Speaker 1: the time.
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  Speaker 2: Do the best you can with what you have.
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  Speaker 3: That's one of those and both situations, because I and
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  Speaker 3: I'm sure you can relate to this, get into this
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  Speaker 3: place where I have to remind myself not to shame myself,
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  Speaker 3: that my heart might not be as hard as somebody else's, right,
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  Speaker 3: that there is a recognition like how privileged am I
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  Speaker 3: that this is my heart? And also an acknowledgment that
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  Speaker 3: it can be hard.
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  Speaker 1: Right exactly that, Like the it's an awareness piece of
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  Speaker 1: we all are. We're here living our our own lives
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  Speaker 1: and our own stories, and it's in relation to other people.
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  Speaker 1: We can't do anything alone. And also looking like there
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  Speaker 1: are people that I don't know. I see things, you
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  Speaker 1: see the news, you see all of these things, and
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  Speaker 1: I feel like I've been given the gift of a
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  Speaker 1: really beautiful life of being able to do what I do,
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  Speaker 1: be able to be a mom, and play the sport
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  Speaker 1: that I love, and have a career path that I'm
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  Speaker 1: really excited about.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, all of these things.
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  Speaker 1: It's such a gift, and I wake up every day
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  Speaker 1: truly grateful for what I have and the path that
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  Speaker 1: I get to live. And then again when the hard
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  Speaker 1: things come, it's like, Okay, I don't love going through
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  Speaker 1: hard moments, but I know that I can get through
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  Speaker 1: them and I'm grateful. This is my heart, you know it.
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  Speaker 1: That's how it is. Yeah, that's how it is.
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  Speaker 3: And I know that right now the season that you're in,
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: things look a lot different than they did. I mean
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  Speaker 3: a handful of years ago when you were playing abroad
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  Speaker 3: and really viewing volleyball in a different way. Love has
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  Speaker 3: enabled you to stay home and to be with your family.
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  Speaker 2: Talk about what that means to you.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I played thirteen seasons away from home.
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  Speaker 1: I lived in Italy and Brazil and Azerbaijean in Turkey.
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  Speaker 1: I did a lot of that alone, I mean, on
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  Speaker 1: my own before I had my daughter and my husband,
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  Speaker 1: and I loved that life because I liked challenge. We
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: talked about it already. I like those moments of having
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: to dig deep and get through things and learn. I
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  Speaker 1: love different cultures. I loved that part of my life.
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  Speaker 1: After having my daughter and continuing this path of playing professionally,
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  Speaker 1: it's not as easy taking a little human being and
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  Speaker 1: going and living abroad.
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  Speaker 2: We did it. We did in Italy.
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  Speaker 1: We went to Puerto Rico with my husband and my
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  Speaker 1: daughter and great beautiful experiences, things that I really loved.
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  Speaker 1: But when League one presented this opportunity of signing a
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: contract to stay here and play in the US and
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  Speaker 1: continue to do this, it was it wasn't like so easy,
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  Speaker 1: because I did love my life before of traveling, but
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  Speaker 1: it's like it was a breath of fresh air that like,
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  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Okay, I can do this, and we
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  Speaker 1: can be only three hours from home instead of a
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: twenty you know, a twelve or twenty hour travel day.
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  Speaker 1: My family can come and help in a pretty pretty
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: quickly if we need it, and my husband can be
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: with me full time with my daughter, and we can
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: still make that work as well with his work and
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: all those things, and so it's become easier. It's and
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: that is honestly, it's really important because what we do
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: is physically and mentally exhausting every day as athletes. It's beautiful,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: it's a great it's a great experience that we get
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: to do this, but it is really hard. It is
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: a lot of energy every day, both physically and mentally.
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  Speaker 1: And I think being able to do this on home soil,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, it's something I dreamed about because for years
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: when I would go from my overseas contract to the
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: national team with one week in between, and I would
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: literally be playing volleyball year round with two weeks off
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: a year, it was really hard. The grind was really hard,
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: and we would talk about how cool would it be
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: if we didn't have to go and play overseas and
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  Speaker 1: we could be here and it was like such a
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: far dream for years and years and years, and then
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  Speaker 1: now it's here and we're doing this, and we're seeing
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  Speaker 1: the connection all of these young athletes in the US
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: that are playing youth volleyball or in college and they're
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: literally within arm's reach of us, and they're able to
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  Speaker 1: see that this is possible for them. It is a
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  Speaker 1: dream come true. It is something I dreamed about and
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  Speaker 1: it's happening. It's having chills right now because it's so cool.
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  Speaker 1: It's so cool for those little girls. I was one
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  Speaker 1: of those little girls, and I didn't have this opportunity
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  Speaker 1: to see it here, to have it with an arms reach.
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  Speaker 2: You know.
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  Speaker 1: It was on the TV at the Olympics. That's about
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: the only time I saw volleyball happening. So it's a gift.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: It's a beautiful gift, and I'm so I really am
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: so grateful to be in it, to still be playing
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: and to be able to like round out my career here.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: It's so cool.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you mentioned that there was a fair
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: amount of heart that came hand in hand with a
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: journey that got you here. When you reflect back on
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: your career as it stands thus far, what would you
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: say was perhaps the most difficult hurdle.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: There's a specific moment in my career when being an
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Olympian and representing our country and winning a gold medal,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: like making history with that program was that was what
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: I was striving for, and I was in my early
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: twenties when I think about volleyball and the path to
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: get me to the Olympic podium. That four year period
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: leading up to twenty sixteen was really really challenging because
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: it was a four year cycle of getting cut and
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: being released from my dream every year and having to
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: recommit and come back and try out again. And I
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: would say in that the heartbreak of I'm getting cut
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: again and I what's like, why am I not enough?
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: And what do I need to work on to make
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: that happen? Like that cycle was really hard, like what
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: what volleyball things do I need to get better at?
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: And in that as well, when I was struggling in
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: that cycle, a lot of just my innate not good
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: enough as a human being surfaced, especially through an injury.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: It was during this time, like at the early time
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: side of that four year quad I got injured. I
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: was going through a lot of therapy to try to
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: recover from that, like physical therapy and mental I had
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I needed to see. I started seeing a sports psychologists.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I did years and years and years of therapy in
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: this period too, and it was combined. It was this
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: like I have this physical, this this reality dream of
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: like I want to go to the Olympics, I want
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: to present our country, and I what's not in my
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: control is whether I make that roster or not, Like
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: I can do everything in my power, but I'm not
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: making that decision. And I think that grind of like
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: getting cut being told you're not enough year after year
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: after year was really really challenging for me, and paralleling
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: that was all of my inner human beingness of like
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I'm not enough, you know she's better than me, or
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: what if I don't accomplish my dream? And what are
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: people going to? All of those thoughts that was just
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: a really it was. It was turmoil in my head.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: And I think my last the summer leading into the Olympics,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I had at that point done four years of I
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: was like four years of continued therapy and different different
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: capacities sports psychologists, out therapists, I did energy work, I
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: did all kinds of things to try to heal my
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: mind and my body, and I think in that moment,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: there was this realization of what was truly in my control,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: and it was just being able to take care of
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: myself and bring my best self every day. I talked
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: about showing up fully. I was going to show up fully,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: leave it all out there, and I'm going to let
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: go of the on the other side of it. And
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: it was that getting to that place that I think
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: has allowed me to continue to play and really see
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: the sport and life in a different way. But it
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: took a ton of heartache and physical physical pain and
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: not being able to play for a little bit, those
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: sorts of things to get me to that place.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: The first thing that I want to talk about and
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: acknowledge is maybe something that some folks wouldn't be familiar with.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: And that's how you're saying you have to make it
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: and get cut, and then make it and get cut.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: So for those that aren't entirely aware of how the
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: cycle works, can you shed a little bit of light
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: on that.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So everyone knows that there's an a summer Olympic
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Games every four years, and between every Olympic Games, there's
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: four summers of the national team. Our national team athletes
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: sort of trying out to make a roster to represent
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: the country in a certain amount of tournaments, and they're
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: named different things. There's World Championships, there's a World Cup,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: there's V and L, there's Olympic qualifications, and so every
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: summer that's when we compete for our national team. And
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: then it's in the winter months the ups set of
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: the year that we're going and representing our club teams
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: in Europe and now in Love. But so when I
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: talk about trying out for the team every summer, that's
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: what it is.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: We regroup.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: It's actually this time of the year, around April or May,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: we start our national team season and the gym starts
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: with it can be anywhere from I don't know, twenty
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: to thirty girls, and it's they're just trying out, whittling
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: the numbers down until the final tournament of the summer,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: which at the time that I was trying out for
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: the Olympics, it was twelve athletes we're going to make
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: the Olympic roster. And so my four years leading up
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: to that cycle, I mean I'd gone in each summer
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: and I represented us our country in some tournament at
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: some event, and then by the end of the summer
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: they were saying, you know, you're not going to be
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: going to World Championships, so you're not going to be
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: going to the last tournament of the summer. And so
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: twenty fifteen is that summer when they had cut they
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: said it's very likely or not coming back next summer,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: and that meant that I wasn't going to be playing
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: in the Olympics. And when I went to my club team,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: my pro team that year, I was playing for a
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: team in Italy. We had a really incredible season. We
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: won Champions League, which is the highest level of competition
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: over in Europe, and I got a call and said
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: they said, hey, can come try out in two weeks
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: and then yeah.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Then yeah.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: How do you in those moments put aside maybe the
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: frustration or the anger. It's clear that being told that
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: that eleventh hour every time comes with its fair amount
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: of anguish, right, So how do you put that aside
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: in pursuit of what your ultimate goal is?
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: It's a great question, and I would I would say
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: it's not about putting it aside. For me, it's really
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: about feeling it, living it and trying to understand it
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: the best that I can. And so every year, each
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: of those summers I had like total breakdowns, total like resets.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: I would go with my sister. We would you rent
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: an airbnbing, go be in nature for a few days.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I would go stay with her. It was mainly my
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: sister that I would fall back to and just say
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: like I need a total reset here, and she was there.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: My family is incredible. I have such a cool support
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: system and I always have. And that's another reason why
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I'm able to get through these hard moments is their
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: belief in me too, because I think those moments you're
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: talking about, whether it's anger or it's just overwhelm or defeat,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: whatever that feeling, is having one a support system around
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: you to say, we believe in you and if you
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: want to keep doing this, keep going back. That's one
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: part of it. And the other part is seeing it,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: seeing the pain, and asking yourself is it worth it?
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Is it worth it to keep going back and trying
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: to do this again? And for me it was it
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: was I wanted that, and I would tell myself every summer,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I would tell myself, They're gonna have to cut me
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: because I'm not gonna walkway. If I have the chance,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: I'm gona go back. Like it was just this constant
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: dialogue in my head, and I think that, yeah, it was.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: It was allowing it to be with me and accepting
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: the fact that it was hard and I was angry
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: and I was you know, all these things and it
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: was important to see it, to feel it, to process it,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: to work through it. And again, that's a lot of
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: therapy and a lot of time.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: A lot of time.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: And what you articulated so beautifully is this foundational understanding
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: of your why.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: You took time to really reflect on what it is
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: about this specific goal that means so much to me,
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: not allowing external validation or sources to be the determinant
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: for what it is that you would put up with
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: or that you would seek right. Also, how beautiful it
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: is to have so many wonderful people in your support squad,
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: your sister included. I'm hearing you talk about these experiences
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: and hearing so much grit in your voice as a
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: part of your personality. Where do you think that grit
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: comes And do you remember a time that you really
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: felt like you had no other option but to be gritty?
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: You know, What comes up for me when you say
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: that is my first hardship in my life was digesting
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: and coming to understand. My dad's death. Happened when I
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: was really young. I was four, He was in his
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: early thirties and he committed suicide. And in that time,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: when I'm that age, I didn't understand what had happened.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: As I've gotten older and I've come to understand mental
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: health related issues, I've come to understand life and human
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: beings being on this planet. I see every day that
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: every one of us have a choice to be here,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: and we have a choice to live our life and
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: how we're going to live it and how we're going
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: to show up in it. I think when I go
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: out and play and I'm playing this sport, and it's
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: such a gift that I get to do this, I
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: have so much passion for my life, for the life
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: that I'm living. Truly, I could get emotional. I have
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: so much gratitude for my family, for the people that
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: stepped in to help me get through all the hardship
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: that I've been in. When my dad passed, my uncle,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: my mom's brother, stepped in to help raise my brother.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: My sister and myself, and he found was like a
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: foundational strength for me in dreaming and putting in the
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: work to get to where I wanted to be and
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: having he was in the gym. He was the first
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: person that taught me how to play. He was the
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: first person that believed, that talked to me about dreaming,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: that talked to me about setting goals, that presented the
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: possibility of like what my life could look like as
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: an athlete. And I think my grittiness is all of that.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: It's understanding how precious life is. It's understanding that I
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: am living a very beautiful life that not everyone gets
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: to live. And I play for the people that I
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: love that have been there for me. I play for
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: my uncle, I play for my mom, I play for
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: my family. I play for the little girl that thought
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: she wasn't enough forever. And I played for the girls
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: that think that they aren't enough right now that are
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: going to get through it and realize that they are.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: So it's yeah, that's I think that's what it is.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: And I don't think I've ever articulated it with someone else.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: But I journal a lot. I have always been a
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: journaler and a writer. And when I do that with myself.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: I under it to me, that's how I process everything,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: all the hardship and all the things.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, I appreciate you for sharing that with me.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: And it's so clear that in these difficult moments, A, yes,
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: that is where a lot of your understanding of what
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: it means and feels like to be gritty comes from.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: But also be that your.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: Support system has really come together to enable and empower
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: you to become who it is that you are today.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: It's irrefutable that you have this really beautiful strength within you,
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: this really strong mindset. Now, when we talk about having
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: a strong mindset, what would you say is perhaps one
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: of the biggest misconceptions about what it actually means to
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: have a strong mind.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: People don't understand that their mind can be trained in
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: a very similar way that they can train their body,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: and it takes diligent practice and a daily commitment. And
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: I know that very deeply because I am daily committed
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: to the health of my brain and how it's functioning
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: and where I'm thinking, what I'm thinking about, where my
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: thoughts are going, the story I'm telling myself, And.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: What does that commitment actually look like for you in practice?
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: I mentioned before, I journal, I write. I feel like
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: that's the greatest way for me to process my emotions,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: my feelings, what I'm going through. The thing that has
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: I think really changed the trajectory of my life as
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: a parent and as an athlete is committing to a
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: meditation practice. The time that I spend in the morning,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I prefer morning. I think it really is. It does
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: make a difference for me when I can actually sit
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: down and have my ten minutes or if I get
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: fifteen or of uninterrupted time. I think it really does
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: change the trajectory of my day. But that piece I
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: have feel like my awareness of myself is exponentially changed.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: In the past.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I've been doing meditation for a long time, but I'd
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: say in the past few years three four years, since
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: having my daughter and really committing to this and having
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: adopting it and saying like this is something I want
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: to nurture it, I just feel so much more calm
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: in my life with all the things, like we're talking
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: about everything that comes up, seeing it and understanding that
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: it's okay and it will pass or whatever it is.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: So meditation, journaling, those are the two things that I
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: would say are my like my foundational practices, the things
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: that I love to do and I commit to.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: And I would even argue, having seen you get a
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: bit emotional before that the meditation and the journaling equips
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: you with the tools you need to then not only
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: feel your emotions, but then respond to your emotions instead
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: of a more impulsive reaction.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Totally, and all it is for me is being more
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: aware and accepting of myself, no matter or what it is. Like,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I am a huge feeler. I am a very emotional
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: woman my whole life, and I've been pretty comfortable with that,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Like I think pretty comfortable with that, but as I
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: become a parent and parenting my daughter and in this
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: relationship with my husband, and I think it's so important
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: to be transparent. I think transparency and honesty is one
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: of the greatest gifts in the world. I think it's
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: the foundation of every strong relationship, and that is something
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: I think one of my greatest values in the way
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: that I want to live is just to be honest,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: to be transparent, and so in that I'm very aware
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: of how I'm feeling, very aware of and so I
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: think it just shows up all the time, and that
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: meditation practice, my journaling. It allows me to just see
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: myself and I'm okay with that, you know, like I'm
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: okay that it's not always going to be perfect and pretty.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I use I'm a perfectionist to the core. I always
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: have been, and I think that's also that my practices
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: like allow me to see my imperfection and although it's
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: jarring for me for a moment, I also I can
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: process it differently and I can love myself in a
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: new way and continue to grow.
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you have such a heightened awareness of who it
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: is that you are and what it is that you
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: bring to the table. I want to pivot this back
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: to sport a bit and ask how that awareness makes
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: you a better team player. What do you do for
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: your team to help them maybe understand the same goodness
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: within themselves.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: You know, the longer I play, the more I see
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: and feel relationships on the court as being really foundational
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: for a team to have success. I think in there
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: when I was younger, you know, I'm playing, I'm fiery,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I've got all this these dreams and it's just like
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: all this energy and I'm older now and I'm seeing
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: the game. I see the opportunity and I see the
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: younger girls, and I know we're all at different places
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: in our lives and in our careers, and I know
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: that my value is not just being on the court
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: and physically dominating all the time. It can show up
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: in a lot of different ways. And I lean into
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: that because I think I got that when I was younger.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know if I got it so much
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: from teammates, but I definitely got it from my family
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: and supporting and believing. And so I now I know
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: that in something in my control is instilling belief and
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: having conversations with my teammates and helping them, coaching them
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: in a way like also technically and volleyball, I know
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: a lot now, so I'm like I can pour into
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: them and really help them, you know, on and off
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: the court. And I think as volleyball players when we're young,
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: we're just thinking oftentimes just thinking about starting. Am I starting?
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: Am I playing? You know, I want to be on
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: the court, That's all that matters. But a team is
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: made up of girls that are on the court and
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: on the bench for a reason, and every single person
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: serves an important role. And so my role at moments
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: the last few years has looked different in being on
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: the bench more often, and I've asked myself, like, what
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: is my How can I add value to this group?
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: What can I do for this group? And I I
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: try to do that to the best of my ability, and.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah it.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I think my younger self would not be able to
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: say any of this or articulate any of this, because
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: it's been through those ups and downs, the hurdles, the
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: years and years and years of doing this that I
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: now understand that I my value is not just the
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: physical part of how I play the game. It's so
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: much more than that.
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: And in a team environment, or any environment really where
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: you have an opportunity to compare yourself to others, it
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: can be challenging not to fall into that trap, not
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: to think about someone else's progress versus your own. How
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: would you say that you've adopted the ability to stay internal,
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: not compare against others, and really stay in your own lane.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: I think I have fluctuated. I will say that, like,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I've not always been super consistent and stable in this.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: But when I was young, really young, my uncle, the
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: father figure that I talked about earlier, he presented this
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: quote to me, and it was by a track athlete
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: at the time. I used to run track and play
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: volleyball when I was young, and Steve Prefontaine had a
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: quote that's to give anything less than your best is
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: to sacrifice the gift. He gave that quote to me
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: in a huge poster. I have it still on my
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: bedroom wall, my childhood bedroom, and he talked about it
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: in his way, and he kind of said that this
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: is what I want you to know that you have
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: to put in the work. Like you it's about what
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: you're going to give. That's what you're going to get
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: out of. This is how much you're going to give.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I've been committed to doing the best that I can
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: my whole life. I really feel like that I have
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: been a hard worker. I believed in the grind. I
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: believed in hard work. I believed in being the first
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: athlete in the gym and the last one to leave
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: when I was young, because my uncle he made me
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: believe that, like, you gotta do it. You've got to
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: It's going to be hard, you know.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: And so.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: Throughout my career there's been moments where it's been hard
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: to just focus on what I can do and be
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: the best that I can be. There are moments that
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: I've looked and I've been like, damn, she's making that
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: roster and I'm not, or I didn't start this match, like.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: How is this possible?
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Like there's these times that I have that, But then
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: it's it's the reflection piece of like that is not
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: in your control, Carly. You can only do what's in
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: your control. And that's mainly my effort, like my effort
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: into what I'm what I'm trying to get after every day,
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: my why reflecting on that, like why am I here?
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: What am I doing this for? And staying committed to
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: how do I get better? And it's led me to
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: having hard conversations to asking coaches like what can I do?
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Where am I lacking? Like how can I help this
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: team more? And committing to that again doing more, like
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: doing the hard things to get to where I want
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: to be, And the comparison's always there. It's going to
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: be natural for us to do it, especially as women,
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: and especially with everything in social media and all the
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: things that are thrown at us every day. I mean,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: it's all there, but then it's back it Really for me,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: it comes back to if I'm going to I'm going
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: to do my best. That's what I that's what I'm
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: going to do, and I'm going to focus on that
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: and then on the other side of it. If something
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: happens it's not in my control. I'm going to have
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: to work through it when it happens, and.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: I have to work through it. We're talking about hard things.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: You shared so beautifully before about the difficulties that went
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: hand in hand with your first quad leading up to
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: your first Olympics.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Would you say that there was a specific.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Moment in your career that you felt like you really
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: hit a wall, and if so, which I'm sure that
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: there was, was there an aha moment that helped you
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: clear it.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: I think the biggest wall I hit was the third
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: summer of the Olympic cycle and being told you probably
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: aren't coming back, and I left for my pro season
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: the next week. When to Italy, I was playing on
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: a team. I had already been in therapy, but I
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: decided to get a life coat, which I feel like
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: I had more work to do. There were things that
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I could not figure out on my own. It was
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: a big investment for me.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: At the time.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: I was in my mid twenties and I was like,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: this is a lot of money, but I'm going to
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: do it because I need help through that work, through
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: committing to continuing to play. The aha for me was
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: in that moment really realizing, like in that season of life,
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: that dream that I'm going after, it's not my decision,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to be the one making the
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: decision of whether I get on that roster or not.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: And so it was like.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Detaching myself from the outcome of what it could look
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: like and committing to the process. And that is when
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I really adopted my meditation practice. It's when I started
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: doing it every day. It's when I realized that what
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: was truly in my control and really nurturing that instead
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: of focusing on the things that were outside of it.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: Logistics question, because I'm sure there's so much interest in this,
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: how did you find your life coach, and how did
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: you know that they were a good fit for you?
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that is such a great question. Finding
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: the right people to support your mental health is a
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: true challenge. It's not always the first person you meet,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: and I have been in that a few times, and
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: what I say to people is, I know it's hard
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: to make that first phone call, but make it and
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: if it doesn't go well, start over, make another phone call.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Because you don't want to settle for something that doesn't
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: feel right. You don't want to be working with someone
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: that doesn't feel energetically aligned with you. It's not worth it.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: And I have been. I've sat in so many offices
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: across the table from someone when they asked me my
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: first question or and I'm looking at them and I'm like,
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't do this. This is not
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: right for me. And I just tell myself, I will,
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: I will go try again. I found my life coach.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: I can't even remember how I initially found her. It
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: was on some probably a health summit, heard her speak,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: thought oh she's that's interesting. She was offering thirty minute
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: discovery sessions. Signed up for one met with her. We
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: talked for an hour and a half and I was like,
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: this is this is she's wonderful, this is so It
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: felt so right, And my commitment was for a year.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: I had to commit to a year of work with her.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, how am I
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: going to do this? This is deense over a decade ago. Yeah,
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I was like twenty five, and I'm thinking oh my god,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: how am I going to do this? But I remember
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: I would seeing things like you have to you have
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: to invest in yourself, you have to do hard things.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, I've done a lot of
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: other hard things. I can do this right. And it
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: was a game changer for me because the traditional sitting
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: in an office like talking to a third like this
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: didn't feel right for me anymore. I had done it
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: a lot, I didn't. It didn't feel right, and we
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: were in a space of virtual was happening, and she
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: was in the States, I was in Italy. How I
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: was gonna make it happen? We made it work, and
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: it was. It was one of the best things I've
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: ever committed to. Yeah, And I think through my work
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: with her and through my understanding of what she was
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: representing and how I started, I loved what I was
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: doing with her and in a way offered it, started
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: offering it to younger athletes like it. Not. I wasn't
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: their life coach, and I was teaching the sport, but
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I was taking these practices and starting to instill them
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: in younger athletes because there's so many things that we
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: need support in in life, as women, and yeah, I
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: think that's great.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Yet I want to I want to like break into
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: that even a little bit more because now I'm like, Okay,
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: well what were you learning.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: So many things? I mean, my work with her was
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: it was really the foundation of it was really to
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: understand how to trust, like in general life, because I
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: didn't trust a lot. I think that was my trauma
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: with my just my childhood growing up, trying to understand
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: my dad's passing and being an athlete and comparison all
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: those things. I just didn't trust a lot of things.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: I trusted my family and that was about it. And
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: so I really struggled in life in relationships. I had
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: went through many different relationships and struggled my way through
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: healthy relationships. And so with my life coach, we were
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: really taught. We were talking about all the different things.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: We were diving into my why in life, not just
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: as an athlete, like what trust was and why it
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: felt so broken, also just organizationally, like the scattering of
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: thoughts and how to work through that, how to develop
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: a mindfulness or meditation practice that was good for me,
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: that would work for me. There were so many different
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: things that we talked about and we did talk about volleyball,
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: but I think we talked way more about other things,
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: and then that helped me on the court in my
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: pursuit at the time.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: When you take the time to step back from maybe
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: one of the things that you identify with the most,
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: whether it is a sport or your career, or perhaps
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: being a mom or what have you, when you take
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: the time to step back and see yourself as a
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: whole human beyond that thing, it only improves the way
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: that you show up to the things that you're passionate about,
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: the things that you identify with totally.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: We talk a lot just in our teams about how
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: important it is to be to have balance in life,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: and it's yes, we are athletes, and yes we have
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: these dreams as volleyball players, but when we have other
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: things outside of the sport that fill us up, it
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: helps us on the court. It helps us show up
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: and maybe play more free and not feel as much
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: pressure because we understand that we are more than just
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: an athlete.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: We're a whole human and there are other things that
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: are important to us.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: And for me, I think when I became a mom,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: when I had my daughter and decided to come back
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: to this sport. I understood that for the first time
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: because like I've really understood that, like I am so
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: much more than just this volleyball player. This other piece
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: of my life is actually so much more important. Showing
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: up for her and being a great just guide for
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: her in life is that is so deeply, Like I
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: have the chills everywhere, so important to me and and
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: her seeing me go out there and train and go
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: for these dreams and also you know, have a professional
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: career and be her mom all those things. It's so
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: beautiful for her to learn that. And so I show
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: up on the court and I feel like I play
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: I'm playing from a different space. It's not just the
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: volleyball player, it's all of that. And I think that's
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing when we can get to that place,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: and I think it takes for everyone. It's a different timeline.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: I always think I really encourage people to think about that,
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: because it's hard if you think that you're identity and
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: everything that's important about you is just in if making
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: the roster and winning or whatever it is, the dream
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: that you have nurturing the whole human is so important
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: and it's going to help you be better, I think.
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, without a doll And you mentioned the word timeline.
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: It makes me think about this concept really that mindset
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: isn't a timeline thing, and it's not a destination. What
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: mindset is is it's a muscle, and it strengthens when
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: you put in the reps, just like when you're training
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: a specific muscle group in the gym.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: Reps.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: Equal time under tension equals growth over time, right, And
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: so with mindset, there are going to be perhaps certain
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: drills or non negotiables that you indulge in regularly to
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: help build that resiliency muscle. When I say that to you,
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: what comes to mind in terms of specific things that
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: you're doing regularly outside of your meditation or journaling practice
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: that really give back to your frame of mind.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: Well, as you're talking, First of all, you hit the
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: nail on the head with it is reps and it
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: is a daily commitment. It doesn't you don't just like,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: I feel like you can't just train your mind and
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: then be like, Okay, I did it and it's over
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: and it's not possible, literally not possible.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: And I know that deeply now.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: So yes, I'm meditating daily, I journal I have very
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: transparent conversations. I think nurturing my relationships and having safe
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: spaces to show up in is something I do daily.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: I have my best friends that I literally they know
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: that about me like I some of that just need
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: a space to be totally open and free. That is
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: something I do and something that helps my mental health.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Pouring into my relationships with my husband, my daughter, my family,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: my mom though that is also a part of my
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: daily it's a daily practice. They need to know how
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: much they mean to me. Expressing my love, being transparent
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: and how I feel about things that helps me as
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: a human being. I think I take care of my
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: body in a way that's very intentional because I know
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: that this is like my vessel to be able to
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: be here and do the things that I love. So
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: the way that I eat, the way that I sleep,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: all those things, it's a part of it too, because
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: it's helping me be the best that I can be
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: in whatever I'm doing, whether that's going on the court
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: and playing, or it's showing up for my daughter after
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: school and giving her the energy she needs. And I
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: think with all of that, as we think about mental
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: health or our mindset or the way that your brain
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: is working like the way you're talking to yourself, and
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I know this to my corea. The story you're telling
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: yourself is it's the most important thing you're gonna hear,
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: and it changes. It will change your life for the
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: better if you nurture it and you are aware of it,
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: and you practice telling yourself stories in a helpful, loving,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: supportive way. It's not always going to happen. Our thoughts are.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: They can consume us and go in all these different places.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: But I practice saying good things to myself because for
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: years I was not healthy, and I know that's something
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: that's in my control now, and so I really am
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: diligent about it.
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: We talk to ourselves the most in any given day,
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: so that conversation may as well be one that you
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: want to be a part of. I love this idea
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: of I practice saying nice things to myself. Okay, let's practice.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: I will go first.
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: I really appreciate how I show up even when I'm tired,
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: and make the time to do things like journal and
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: move my body because I know that it will make
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: me feel better.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, you're a turn to that.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: I I am so grateful for human beings like you
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: that create spaces for other human beings to be transparent
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: and honest about the hard things in life, because it
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: allows other people to.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: Know they're not alone.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: Even if I'm not talking directly to them, They're not alone.
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: And I think that these types of conversations fuel me
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: and they excite me about what's possible in the future.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: And I'm grateful to be here.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful to be here.
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: I appreciate your compliment, and I also still want you
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: to say something nice about yourself.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, you're like, oh, why do I have to be
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: nice to myself right now?
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: No, I am that's why is it harder?
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: Why is it harder? Is it's so funny?
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: Why is it so hard to say, like I like
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: my Yeah, Well, well, what I want to go to
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: is I am so thankful and happy and excited about
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: the fact that I am home with my daughter now
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: and I get to spend time with her while getting
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: settled into my house and knowing that I'm exhausted and
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: I've had a really hard week and I poured my
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: heart and soul into my team and I'm showing up
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: tired and with a lack of sleep, and I am
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: doing the best that I can, and I feel good
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: doing that, and I'm thankful for how I'm showing up
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: for my family. Okay, that was really beautiful. Way harder
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: to do, way harder. Next, so so difficult to be
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: nice to ourselves. Yeah, that and so much easier to
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: like point out all of the things that are beautiful
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: around you than to twin out the things that are
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: beautiful within you.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: That the truth.
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: Well, I know we're coming off of this really big win,
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: but what else would you say that you're excited about
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: right now?
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: Carly?
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: I'm excited about being home. I am back in Redondo
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: Beach in California, and my daughter is back in her
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: school and in her rhythm and she is stoked on it,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: and that makes me really happy. I'm looking forward to
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: spending time with my family, to not having to perform physically.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: For a while.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm really excited to like revamp our house. Honestly,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: it's filled nice to be home. To be home, Yeah,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: so beautiful.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: I love the it feels so good to be back
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: in our routine sentiment.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: It is so challenging, and I'm so curious to hear
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: your perspective on what we have to do when things
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: aren't all going as we'd hope each and every day,
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: whether that be because you're traveling for work or you're
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: just thrown for a loop because of something personal that's
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: going on for you, Carle, how do you find the
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: balance when you might not be in your preferred routine,
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: when you might not be in one place.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: That's a good question and total transparency. I really struggle
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: with transitions like this. I struggle when I go from
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: in season to out of season or from out of
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: season two season, because routines are totally disrupted. I'm usually
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: moving homes and states or countries. I'm everything is changing
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: for myself or my daughter, and so I have to
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: process that for her too, the guilts of moving my family,
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: all those things come into place. So I I'm very
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: aware of transitions and the challenges, and I allow myself
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: to feel the hard stuff in that. Like I cry
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: a lot in my transitions, and it's just an emotional
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: release of like, gosh, there's so many things that I'm
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: shedding or I don't have all the answers right now.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: And what I get back to what kind of grounds
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: me is the things that I know are going to
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: allow me to have the energy to get through the day,
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: which my meditation practice, for example, I can take that
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: with me anywhere, or calling my mom or my sister
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: or my best friend and be like, hey, I really
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: need to talk through this. Those sorts of things that
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: allow me to remember, like it's okay to not have
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: it all working out perfectly right now, and I just
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: commit to that. And I think, again, life throws stuff
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: at us all the time, so just seeing that it's
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: going to happen, and what are the tools that allow
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: me to get there? And I know that about myself,
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: I know what I need, and I just try to
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: remember to do that even when it's hard.
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: Your commitment to self is really inspiring. Someone goes to
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: your Instagram page and they see this professional volleyball player.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: They see someone who clearly is putting in the work.
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: But when you look at yourself in the mirror, what
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: is it that you see looking back at you?
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I see a woman who is so
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: grateful for the life she's living. I see someone who
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: works really really hard to do the best things she
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: can all the time. I see someone who worries a
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: lot about everyone around her. And I see a dreamer.
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: I keep dreaming. I'm I see someone with a lot
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: of life left in her, And yeah, I see someone
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: living a really beautiful life because I feel really grateful
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: for mine.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: I love what you said earlier about this foundational understand
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: and you have because of what you shared earlier, that
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: you get to choose to live every day. And for
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: so many to hear that perspective and to hear it
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: framed in that way, it's a really special moment and
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: perhaps even a special realization, a way to think about
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: each and every morning in a way that they haven't.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: And sometime now before I let you go today, you
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: have an opportunity, Carly, to offer yourself a piece of advice,
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: going back to the hurdle moment of that third summer
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: before the Olympic cycle, being told it's probably not in
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: the cards here. Knowing what you know now, what would
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: you tell your younger self going through that hurdle moment.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: It's okay that it's not exactly the way you want
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: it to be. Right now, you're going to get through this.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Stay committed to what you love to do and why
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: you're doing it, and everything will fall into place. And
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: trust yourself.
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: Trust yourself, Carly, Lloyd, this was so special. For those
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: that aren't following along with you, just yet give us
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: your details.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: I am not the most active on social media, but
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: I do have an Instagram. Carly Lloyd three is my Instagram.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: I am on there sometimes and.
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm over at Emily Body and at Hurdle Podcast.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.