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The Fifth Hour: Seattle Screw Job · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Cutbooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: In the penthouse. Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: Radio and a Happy Friday Morning to you. Finished with
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: the radio show a couple hours ago. I walked out
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: of the studio and I said.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna come in here.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna come back to the podcast studio, the remote
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: podcast studio.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: And I had this big plan.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I was going to tell all these stories about Santa
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Benny and all that stuff. And however, I've made an
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: editorial decision on this edition of the Fifth Hour podcast.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I have decided that I need to get back on
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: my bully pulpit. And even though I did four hours
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: of talk radio last night and I used the soapbox
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: to rant and rave about what happened in the NFL game.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: It was such a whack a doodle finish to the
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Rams Seahawk game last night in the beautiful Pacific Northwest
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: that I have decided that I'm going to rant more
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: about that. I have some more thoughts I want to
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: share with the class. And you're part of the class,
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: and we will give you the holiday schedule as promised
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: later in this podcast, which includes Hanukkah, which is going
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: on right now, so Lotka's Jelly Donuts and then with
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: my wife's family Christmas cookies. She bought eggnog. I will
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: not be partaking in that, the whole Norman Rockwell thing.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: We'll have that, But.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Right now, in this moment, let's get the party started
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: with a little audio therapy. Not radio therapy. This is
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: podcast therapy. It's therapeutic. It's just what the doctor ordered.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: It's group counseling. It needs to be done because of
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: the Seattle screw job that took place last night. Now,
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: I don't work for the Rams. You know that I'm
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: not a show for the Rams. You know that, although
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: no Streudinis might disagree, I'm not. I don't make any
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: money when the Rams win unless I bet on the
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: game and I did a small bet, nothing major in
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: that game, and Seattle was actually favored by one and
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: a half to two by the time the game kicked off.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I need to talk.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: About this because what we watched was not football. That
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: was a magic trick. It was sleight of hand. The
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: NFL pulled two points out of a hat like a
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: street hustler with a bent deck of cards back in
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: the old Times Square in Manhattan. Now let's say it's slowly,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: because I know there's some people there that might be
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: listening on Park Avenue in New York wearing headsets. Now,
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: if you're in the replay center in New York, you
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: have the headset and then a blindfold. The referee blew
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: the play dead whistle.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: The universal signed for stopped playing football. Now, that's it.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: And everybody did the Rams stop. The Seahawks stopped, even
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Zach Charmoneau, who came over there, and he slowed down
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: like he hit rush hour traffic. And he wasn't in
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: a hurry. The play was dead. He grabbed the ball,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: but he wasn't in any hustle. It was finito. It
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: was done, and somehow the modern day Penn and Teller
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: went abra kadabra. The NFL handed Seaheadle two points, like
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: a complimentary mint at the end of a bad meal
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: when they give you the bill. And by the NFL's
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: own rule, I went back and I looked because I thought, well,
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: maybe I got something wrong here by the NFL's own rule.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: And I know reading is hard for some spelling is
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: hard for others. I learned that every week on the
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: show and inadvertent whistles. According to the NFL's own rule book,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: an inadversive inadvertent whistle ends the play unless the action
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: is a continuation already in progress. Key phrase already in progress.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Now Charboneau, the running back there does not stop to
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: pick up the ball until way after the whistle after,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: not during, not simultaneous after. That's not continuation, it's not
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: that's a sequel. Nobody asked for its. It's hilarious to
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: me watching the replay, and I watched it, I don't
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: know seven thousand times. The second that whistle blows, whistle, whistle, whistle,
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: everyone freezes. It's like a middle school dance when the
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: chaperone flips the lights on. It's also like musical chairs.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: The music stops game over. But the NFL said, nah, eh,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: I think we'll keep dancing. Well, Seattle, you're allowed to
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: dance the Rams. No. And here's the kicker on this.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: It isn't even about the officials on the field. They
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: actually got the call right in the stadium, the Seahawks
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: were preparing to kick off to the Rams.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: They got the call right. They called the play dead.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: They did their jobs.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: The disaster was cooked up by the instant replay brain
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: trust in the Big Apple, the Wizard of Oz behind
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: the curtain, pulling levers and pretending this is all you know,
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: this is all kosher, that it makes sense. And but wait,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: there's even more. Now, how about the absurdity of advancing
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: a fumble ball on a scoring play. Now, that's supposedly
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: banned in the fourth quart it's illegal for boton, it's
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: against the rule, except apparently, when it's a two point conversion.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: The Seahawks need a little bit of a booster, a
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: little booster shot.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: There you go. It's funny how the.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Fine print always opens up like a trapdoor, the NFL
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: handing the Seattle football team two points like a TSA agent,
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: waving one guy through while everyone else gets friss like.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: What the heck? And this wasn't missed.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: It's manufactured, is the word I will use. And let's
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: not ignore the snuffleufigus wearing stripes in the corner of
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: the room. Who's chatting with the HeLa monster? Okay, they're
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: having a conversation. And then over there, I believe the
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: is that a giant oversized blue whale that just swam
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: into the room. We already talked about the Puka Nicool
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: horsehead in the bed on the radio show last night.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: The league sending a little bit of a message. You're
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: gonna talk out of school, out of class, you're gonna
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: talk about the referees. Well, suddenly the rule books can
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: get flexed like a yoga instructor. The Rams should have
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: won the game thirty to twenty eight in regulation, end
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: the game, roll credits, that's it. Instead, we got a
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: blown call that changed the outcome of a lot of stuff,
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: a lot of stuff.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Whether it's the division, who knows.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: What's going to happen the final few weeks of the season,
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: but the division, number one seed, number one in the NFC.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: A call so bad it belongs in the hall, not
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: that hall, the Hall of shame. Right next to the
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: infamous replacement referees, the past interference reviews that vanish into
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: thin air. Now was this malfeasance? Was this incompetence or
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: was this intentional?
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: That's the question hanging in the air.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Like Kim trails back on the old Coast to Coast
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: with Art Bell and you know the spin is coming, right,
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: and I've already started to see some of it. I
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: cannot wait. I'm gonna go to bed here a little bit,
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: and by the time I get up, it'll all be
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: bouncing around the echo chamber the League press release, which
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: will be a gigantic word salad. And by the way,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: I don't like salads. I don't like salad, but it'll
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: be a word salad. Correct application of the rule as
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: it is written in Phase seventeen of the rule book
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: after a further review. Spare me, I'm gonna puke in
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: my mouth. No justice, no peace. This one's going to
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: echo for days. The Seattle screw job, the Rams got robbed.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: Case closed. Now you say the case is closed, but
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: you think I'm done.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Hell no, hell no.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Let's address my coffee drinking seahawk loving friends. So I
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: mentioned I did the radio show a little while ago.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Oh I got done. I had a little bit of
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: a down stretch, kind of reset the battery there for
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: a little bit, and then I come back.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Into the remote studio to do.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: The podcast, and I made the mistake of opening up
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: my email, my inbox, and then also went on.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Social media, some of the social media stuff.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: And I'm going to say this slowly, clearly, and I
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: believe with perfectly polished, a perfectly polished golden hammer. For
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: my friends and those that are regular fans of the show,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: some of you I met at the Seattle meet and
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: greet we did in twenty nineteen.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: But those of you chiming in from.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Seattle wagging your fingers and declaring that I've gone full
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: tinfoil houtguy malor you boys think that I've lost my fastball.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: You're calling this a conspiracy rant that what are you doing?
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: You're laughing at me.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: You're saying that it's like I've seen sasquatch wearing ram
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: colors in the end zone. Listen, Regardless of all that,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: here's the inconvenient truth. You j'rer bronis. You jackwagons can't
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: handle and all of you you fall on the spectrum
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: of Mama Luke.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let me explain the inconvenient truth.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: A lot of things feel true long before they're actually
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: officially stamped approved by the people in charge. This is
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: all stuff that comes out in books years later. History
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: is littered with examples. This is not fringe, this is
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: not outer space, this is not street level reality.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: It's not any of that.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing remote viewing what we witnessed in Seattle
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: last night as we're doing this podcast early on this Friday,
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: the nineteenth day of December. But you look last night,
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: that was the metaphorical bloody knuckles is what that was.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: It was NFL street justice I get. In my opinion,
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: it was payback with a smile for m wide receiver
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: Pooka Nakua, who sent out a comment on social media
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: and then deleted it after the game. But Pookah is
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: the guy. He listened, he poked the hornets nest. He
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: went out of two and twenty five yards receiving, two
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: hundred and twenty five yards receiving and a couple of touchdowns,
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: and yet the NFL is like, listen, you poked the
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: hornets nest live on a live stream Internet stream and surprise, surprise, surprise,
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: he got stung by the hornet's nest right there, Well,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: the hornets in the nest, you prod the hive, don't
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: act shock when the bees come buzzing.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: And now I know the game. You know some of you.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: Are playing, not all of you, but some of you
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: are playing. Some are just rage baiting.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: It's like, hey, let's poke the mallor hoping to get
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: a reaction so you feel alive. Right, you get five
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: minutes in your sorry ass situation.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I want to I'm gonna bust mallards chops, That's what
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. Okay, I'm not talking to you. Okay.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I enjoy busting balls as much as anyone. I love
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: hitting buttons. It's fun.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: I'm amazed how people get so upset over sports takes
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: on an overnight show. However, here we are, it still
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: happens all these years later. So I'm not worried about
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: the rage baiting morons. Right, the ones I would like
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: to address, and if this is you, you fall into
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: this category, this basket, the ones that actually believe this
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: nonsense about there's nothing to see here. And when you
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: label anyone who questions it a conspiracy theorist. Congratulations, you
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: have just won the booby prize. You are drinking the
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: kool aid of the CIA.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: That's right, the CIA.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I went there. Buckle up, buccaroo. Now, while the
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: CIA did not technically invent the phrase conspiracy theory.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Didn't you know that?
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: Way back in nineteen sixty seven, so we're talking almost
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: sixty years ago, the internal CIA the Dispatch, recommended using
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: the term conspiracy theorist to discredit critics of what the
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: time was a very big report, the Warren Commission, and
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: so the memo from the CIA, it actually helped popularize
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: the term as a weaponized slur designed to shut down
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: any kind of debate. You cannot question anything.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Because you will be given cooties.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: You're going to be called a conspiracy theorist and shutting
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: up a lot of people. You shut them down any
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: kind of debate by making skeptics sound unhinged.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: How dare you?
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: And no, I am not wearing tinfoil headphones. It is
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: documented history. It's the same playbook as the NC double
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: a years ago.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: They were facing their ruin.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: People were suing them, people were players, were dying, their girlfriends, their.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Wives, were suing the NCED double A.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: It was called something else, but they came up with
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: the term student athlete, just pulled that out of thin air.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: It was a phrase cooked up to avoid paying workers
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: comp a cute combination of words ugly motive, ugly motive.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: And they did that for so long that people thought
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: it was legit. They didn't realize it was a hustle
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: by the nc Double A, and they kept repeating it
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: even to this day. While players are being paid wads
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: of cash, more money than Alf and Fergdog get paid.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: To do the show, which is not much, not much.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: But they just give them wads of cash and say, here,
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: play football for us, play basketball for us. And they
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: still people still use the term student athlete. And here's
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: the malor money line. It's not a conspiracy theory in
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: terms of the NFL stuff or really anything, if it's true.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: It's not a conspiracy theory if it's true. So let's
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: talk some football.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: What do you say, because the NFL has already released
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: the hounds, it's gonna get worse. Later I mentioned the
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: word salad is coming from the NFL. They'll be sending
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: it to Pro Football talk. And then Florio will post
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: it and he'll go nutso and all that stuff. So
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: we know that's coming, but it's already started. Like suddenly,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: out pop the rules experts, right, the rules experts like
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: jack in the box lawyers.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: And as they pop up.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: And you know, spin the thing in the jack in
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: the box, they spin themselves dizzy trying to spit polish
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: a rusted broken call now one of my favorites, and
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: I wanted to share with you here on the Fifth
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: Hour podcast, and I quote, this is somebody that worked
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: for the NFL.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I don't think they worked for the NFL anymore. They're
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: former referee.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: The quote was, whether a whistle is blown or not
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: is completely irrelevant to the two point conversion that was
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: given to Seattle. Completely irrelevant was the line, so the
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: whistle is blown or not, it's completely irrelevant. That is
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: higgely piggly nonsense, is what that is. That's not analysis.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: That's called gas lighting. One oh one call him the
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: gas man whoever said that. And for those that are
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: playing along at home or at the gym, or at
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: work or in your car, gas lighting, I think we
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: all know what that is, but some of you might
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: not know. Gas lighting is the manipulation of people into
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: questioning their own reality, into doubting what their eyes saw
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: and their ears heard, and what we all heard, every man, woman,
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: and child, clear as a church bell whistle, whistle whistle,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: And so that might be the dumbest thing ever spoken
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: by a human with some kind of credentials to their name.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: The NFL wants to have it both ways. Heads they
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: win tails. You are cuckoo for cocoa puffs. You're crazy,
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: crazy crazy. You're on the chew crazy trade. You are
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: when players from both teams let me repeat this for
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: those of you a little slow. For players from both things,
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: maybe you're on the spectrum. When players from both teams
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: stopped playing at the sound of the whistle, including the
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: numb nuts who casually strolled over to bend down to
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: pick up the ball. Two full mississippi seconds, one mississippi,
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: two mississippi after the whistle, that is no longer a
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: clear recovery by any reasonable definition known to humanity.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Beast or zebra or lizard, person or the grays. I
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: don't care. If whistles and rules are now.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Open to interpretation, then congratulations, Come on down, We've got
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: ourselves a rule change. So from here on out, the
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: lesson is ignore the whistle. It's not just play to
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: the whistle, it's played through them. Pretend they are hood
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: ornaments and they're there for decoration. In fact, why even
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: bother having officials save money. Just let some guy from
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Long Island who's in New York blow an airhorn when
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: the play is over like a monster truck rally, watch
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: out for the grave digger. By the way, and to
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: everyone parroting the rule book, because I have seen this
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: already too this morning. They're parroting the rule book like
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: it's this scripture. And welcome to the oldest argument in sports.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: It's really in.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Life, the spirit of the law versus the letter of
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: the law. By the letter of the law, I'm sure
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: you can futs around and find something there, find something
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: that the NFL got right.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: But by the spirit of the law.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: NFL players are trained from Pop Warner on up.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: We're talking Pop Warner.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: That's when they hear a whistle, the play is dead, period,
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: end of sermon. The play is dead if the whistle
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: doesn't blow. And we'll just look at the game last night.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: If that whistle doesn't blow, multiple ram players dive on
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: all of They all dive on the ball be a dogpile,
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: and you know they're like seagulls dive bombing, drop French
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: fry on the beach.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: So did that happen?
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: No? No, you know, have we gone bonkers?
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: No?
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Have I joined the Flat Earth Society? No, I've not
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: joined the Flat Earth Society, although they still send me
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: emails every once in a while because I blamed Kyrie Irving.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: We did a thing about the flat earth and then
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: the or the Actually, the flat earth people do not
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: send me stuff.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: It's the hollow earth people. Excuse me. The flat earth
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: people don't bother me.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: The hollow earth people who were a subset when we
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: talked about Kyrie Irving and the flat Earth.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Those people reach out to me every once in a while.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: But I'm just refusing to pretend that water isn't wet
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: because some rules analysts told me it's dry.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Carrying the water for the NFL. The whistle has to
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: mean something.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: It has to or the whole thing, the whole operation
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: for Gayzy, which is the word of the week for
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Gayzy seems to be.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: The word of the week.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I feel like I've used it a lot and there's
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: a lot of things. I'm not rushing to conclusions. I'm
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: just selling you. I'm telling you that there's a lot
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: of stuff going on in sports.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Right now that is for gazy is what it is.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: All right now to the holiday radio schedule, by demand,
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: by demand, I have waited to This is not the
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: end of a podcast, but it's getting closer to the
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: end of the podcast, and we will, for ratings purposes,
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: push back the Santa Benny version of this podcast until Saturday.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I have some things I want to share with you.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: About my experience, which I love so much, of climbing
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: to the top of a fire truck and playing Santa. However,
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: you know, I would assume, because you're listening to the podcast,
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: you're a high level p one that I by nature
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: a worker bee. I don't like time off. I don't
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: trust time off. Time off is it's like a suspicious
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: relative who shows up unannounced to your house, double parks
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: in the driveway, and somehow still complains about parking while
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: also eating all of your food.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: And I had this happen. I've had this happen a
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: few times.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: I've had people over and they've just gone wild, right,
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: just absolutely gone wild, and it's maddening. Absolutely maddening is
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: what it is.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: And so.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: Every once in a while, even the most stubborn awks
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: has to leave the plow in the field and walk
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: back to the barn. You know, this is my passion.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: The overnight show, what we call the Ben Mallor show.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: It's not really a job. It's not a paying job
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: at Pizzo.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, but not.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: I could be making more money if I did a
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: daytime show, I'd be making a lot more money. But
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: it's an audio sweatshop, right, It's a nightly assembly line
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: of piping hot takes, crazy calls from people like hollering
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: James and blarn Maine and Lucky Tony rants, Mallard metaphors, mallarisms,
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: all that stuff. It rolls off the conveyor belt in
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: the factory of hot takes while most of the world is,
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: at least our side of the world is drooling in
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: a pillow, or at least auto pillow. Now I like
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: it that way. I have more editorial freeman freedom at night.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: I don't have people my boss is harassing me. I
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: thrive under the cover of darkness. Think of me like
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: an audio raccoon with a microphone, rummaging through the sporting
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: news trash at three am and loving every second of it. However,
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: here we are, I have stacked up comp days the
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: old fashioned way by working holidays most people don't even
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: know have names. And I have worked the big ones
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: as well. Thanksgiving, fourth of July, you name it, those
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: like President's Day.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's a company hall. I
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: think it is this federal holiday.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: But while on the fourth line, well, you're lighting fireworks
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: or carving a turkey on Thanksgiving, I'm carving up monologues
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: like a Deli slicer on full blast.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: And those receipts add up.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: And so this is the the malor math hours in
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: hours ode on those holidays. And then there's real life
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: like my wife, who runs a tighter operation than most
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: NFL front offices, and she is a social butterfly occasionally occasionally,
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: and so she has us hosting multiple holiday parties. One
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: of them will take place this weekend, another one the
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: following week which means that I have to take part
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: in actual human interaction. I have to get plates, napkins,
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: I have to smile, I have to pretend like I'm
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: interested in people telling me stories. I don't care about
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: eye contact. I am waving the white flag. As a
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: result of that, I will become Benny the Baker this
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: week Extreme Baking. I will also be taking the rare
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: and appropriate time off, which for me feels like skipping
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: leg day after a decade long streak, or more like,
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: I guess intermittent fasting, which I have this ridardulous streak going.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: But here's the Malar scoreboard, and yes I'm I'm giving
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: you the information slowly. For the people in the cheap
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: seats here, it is the big payoff here, the moment
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: of truth. Plan your vacations accordingly. The Ben Mahlor Show,
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: not the podcast. The Ben Malor Show, has not one,
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: but two more live shows in twenty twenty five. We'll
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: be recapping the NFL Sunday into Monday, and we'll be
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: recapping the NFL Monday into Tuesday. Now after that, we
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: go into what's known as suspended animation, kind of like
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: a sci fi movie, not a good one, not a
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: good one, where the hero is frozen in a pod,
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: dreaming of bad officiating and phantom replay reviews and giving
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: Puka Nakouah, the business and all of that and breaking
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: down all of this like government spreadsheets. But fear not,
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: loyalist foot soldiers, you know who you are, My most
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: ardent supporters that would die on Mount mallor in the
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: Mallard Militia. The podcast should still be there. Now there
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: is a chance I make a little road trip. I
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: will not be flying. I'll be driving somewhere to an
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: the state, which in the West is a whole endeavored
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: to go to another state. So if that happens, that
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: might delay the podcast. I don't know that that will
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: be the case.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I believe I think.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Will be good on that, and so Benny versus the
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Penny should still be breathing on YouTube as well. As
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: we wind down the regular season in the NFL. The
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: pantry will not be bare. However, the original recipe, the
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: full overnight Grind will be put on.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Ice Ice Ice Baby.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: We officially returned from hiatus on Sunday night into Monday,
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: January fourth into January fifth, and we'll flip the switch
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: back on like the Frankenstein Monster and minus of course
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: the neck bolts will mix in extra sarcasm. I'll try
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: to get some sleep over the next couple of weeks
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: and then come back recharge. Think of it as our
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: brothers and sisters in the NBA say, load management, load management.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not retiring. I'm not retiring.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: And if I end up getting fired, it was not
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: my decision.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: I'm kidding, but no, this is a strategic time strategic
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: time out, not a two minute warning. And even the
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: most reliable workhorse, whatever you think that is, needs a
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: pit stop, an oil change, maybe a fresh set of tires.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: You need all that stuff before getting back on the
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: overnight highway where the things go bumpity bump at night.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: So my message to you is thank you.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: And we have two more podcasts this weekend, and I've
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: got two more ratorships.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: I just want to thank you now. I'll thank you again.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: I want to thank.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: You for supporting what we do here. And it's been
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: a transitional period of time.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: We lost I.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: Say lost at He's not dead, but he was like
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: go by the company. Eddie Garcia is a big part
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: of the show. And the show's continued on and it's
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: different than it was and the characters changed. But the
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: show's popularity has been pretty good because of you, and
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: so I want you to enjoy the holidays, whatever you celebrate.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: If you don't celebrate anything, just have a great day,
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: enjoy your life.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I want you to eat too much food. I want
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: you to gain ten pounds. I want you to argue
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: with in laws that you don't like.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: I want you to argue with your relatives that are
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: blood relatives that you also don't like. I want you
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: to miss me just enough, just enough where you come back,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: just enough where you come back, because soon enough it'll
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: be lights, camera action. The lights will come back on,
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: the phones will start ringing, We'll be breaking down things
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: with Marcella and Brooklyn and hollering.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: James and all.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: The characters on the show will return, and the Audio
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: Sweatshop will reopen for business.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: So we have much to get to.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: I will put the baby to bed right now, but
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: we'll have no podcast on Saturday. I will give you
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: the Santa Bendi podcast on Saturday. That is my plan,
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: unless something crazy happens later today that requires another emergency
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Mallard monologue like this ridoculous play in Seattle on Thursday night.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: So Danny putting this thing together. Danny g hopefully will
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: join me at some point over the weekend. And later
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: skater aasta pasta gotta murder, I gotta go