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When it No Longer "Fits" · Remember Why You Are Here

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A huge shift can happen in our lives when we just pay
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attention to that intuition and that internal sense within us that says,
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I think it's time. And in order to meet it when it arrives,
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you need to have that space within you.
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Hello and welcome back to Remember Why You Are Here,
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a podcast for seekers and sensitives where you can relax, receive,
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reconnect your own self, and remember the most important thing of all:
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why you're here. I'm Asia Suler, author,
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earth intuitive teacher and former owner of One Willow
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Apothecaries. And in this episode today,
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I'm going to talk about something that is super personal for me right now and is
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really, really dear to my heart,
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and it is this concept of moving on
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from something because it no longer fits, or moving on from something,
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not because it's wrong or bad or toxic,
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but just because it's time to let go.
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The reason why this is so personal for me right now,
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and I feel so passionate about it,
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is that this is my official announcement that
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I will not be restarting my apothecary-at least at this
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point in time.
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So just a little bit of backstory - and this is why I said I was the former
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owner or founder of One Willow Apothecaries:
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so if you're new to me or this
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podcast,
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then you might not know that for 12 years I had an apothecary called One
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Willow Apothecaries, and this was a huge part of my life path and my journey.
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This is how my entrepreneurial journey started. It's how my business started.
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I used to be called One Willow Apothecaries as my business.
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And it really began - once I graduated herbal school,
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I had a very strong directive to start this herbal apothecary - and
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so it began with tincture formulas and it began
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with tea blends and smoking blends and salves.
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And I had this beautiful array of things.
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And I started doing flower essences right from the beginning too.
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And the apothecary really evolved with me over time.
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So again,
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I started with this big product line and then over time
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I realized what I was most passionate about was really these more
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vibrational formulas.
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And so then I had stone and flower essence pairing formulas,
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and eventually I just had my flower essence line - which I really expanded out.
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And I had flower essences that corresponded with my classes and the things that
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I taught.
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And it was just this really beautiful operation and
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endeavor and just such a huge, heartfelt part of my journey.
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And about 10 years ago,
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I actually opened my apothecary in a physical location on a place
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called Marshall High Studios in Marshall, North Carolina where I live.
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So I had the apothecary in this place,
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which was the old high school here in the county.
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And it was just such a delightful chapter of my life.
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This is where I started seeing clients.
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This is where I first started teaching in-person classes,
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and it housed the apothecary as well.
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So this is where I welcomed in my first apprentices and eventually my first
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employees, and we shipped medicine around the world.
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It was just incredibly special in a way that I
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will prize and cherish forever. And,
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I remember thinking to myself,
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I don't know what could ever convince me to give this up,
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even though from where I am now,
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this wouldn't necessarily be an endeavor I would start at this point in my life.
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But the fact that I had it, had built it,
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that had meant so much to me over the years - that now we were sharing flower
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essences with people all over the world -I remember thinking,
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I don't know what could ever convince me to give this up.
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And then last fall,
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hurricane Helene hit us here in the mountains.
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And if you haven't been along for the ride here at all,
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this might be news to you. And if you have, then bear with me:
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you know this story.
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But Hurricane Helene came in and we had massive flooding in
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the town where I live and the town where my apothecary was.
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People are calling it a thousand year flood.
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I've heard some other people say it's more like a 30,000 year flood.
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B,ut the waters rose and it rose to about nine
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feet inside of my apothecary.
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And so suddenly, overnight,
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the apothecary and everything I had built there in the last 12 years was just
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gone.
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And at the time I thought, okay,
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well maybe I can rescue some of these medicines.
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Maybe I could resurrect this.
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But I realized once I oriented to just the reality of a kind of flood
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like that,
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where literally everything is taken down and buried in toxic
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muck,
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that you don't really rescue anything from that unless
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it's something like a stone or something that can be washed in that way.
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And so I realized pretty quickly that everything that was
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physically there was done.
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And I had this moment of really sitting with the question of,
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do I start again? Do I start over?
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Do I start One Willow Apothecaries over? And at this point,
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One Willow has made so many connections with so many people in
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all the far flung corners of the globe. And yet, when I really sat with it,
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what came to me, the answer that came to me, was No.
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And it's something that I've just been holding very preciously to my
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heart since this event last fall.
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And something now I really
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feel passionate about speaking to and talking about. And yes,
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making this very public announcement that I will not be starting the apothecary
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again. At least that's what I'm feeling right now,
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and that's what I'm moving forward with.
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And I know a lot of people have asked me about it.
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And so this is my first time saying this in a public
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way. And I want to talk about why,
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because I think that this is such an important update,
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not just for me - obviously this is a huge moment in my life -but for
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anyone who is at a really big crossroads in their life right
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now. Because there's this thing where we
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often think in order to let something go,
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it has to be in some way bad or toxic or really
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draining for us,
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when actually there's this really profound update where it doesn't have to be
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wrong in order for it to be done.
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And I know you've probably felt this at some point in your life too.
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And that is what this episode is about:
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what to do when it no longer fits.
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And why I use this phrase is because I like to think about this in terms of
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the clothes in our closet.
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So you might have a piece of clothing that you absolutely loved for a chapter of
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your life. You wore every single day. People knew, ah, that's Asia's outfit;
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that's her signature look. And you prized it,
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you cherished it. And yet you go to your closet,
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you get invited to a clothing swap, whatever you're doing, a spring cleaning,
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you go to your closet and you try it on and it just doesn't fit anymore.
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And this might be that very physically,
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literally that you cannot get that piece of clothing on over your body anymore.
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Or it might just mean that you put it on and you look in the mirror and you're
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like, interesting.
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This just doesn't fit me in the way it used to.
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It doesn't fit my essence, my energy, my personality,
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where I'm moving in life.
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And what I have found is that we often
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wait for things to get to the point where they are so
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draining, so dramatic,
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so toxic before we make big changes and let big things
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go... And it's a really powerful update to
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decide to let something go out of
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love and deep respect for that chapter of your life,
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to let something go, not because it's wrong, but because you're ready.
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And the way I think about it too,
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with this metaphor of our literal clothes in our closet,
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is, I have a small closet space,
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and if this piece is taking up space in my closet - even if I
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still love it,
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even if I think maybe I might want to wear it again from time to time in the
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future, or, I don't know,
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maybe I'll just keep it just in case - that is taking the space of something
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that I would love now, that would really fit me now,
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that would giving me energy for the next part of my evolution.
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And I think that term evolution here is important,
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and it's really sparking this awareness for me that one way that we
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know that we are evolving in life,
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is that we are able to make decisions to directionally
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guide ourselves without it having to get to the point
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where it is totally untenable,
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where we are navigating the waters of our life and choosing new paths based
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on the subtle inner directives that are speaking to
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us and that are guiding us;
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we are able to tune into this more subtle stream of our intuition and
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take that leap to trust it.
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I think this is a huge sign of our evolution,
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and I have noticed that our intuition will speak
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in louder and louder tones until the message is received,
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which feels very annoying sometimes,
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but is also such a blessing because - and I know I've said this before - but
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because the message we need will never stop being
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sent. It's a blessing.
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And so the same is true with intuition.
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Our intuition will send us messages of how to move, when to move,
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what our next direction is,
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and it will be subtle and subtle and subtle until it's not.
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So here's an example of intuition getting louder and louder until you listen.
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And it's an example from my own life,
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probably from back in the day when I started the apothecary,
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and it's one I use often because I...
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it is just so gloriously obvious.
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So I was once camping with some friends,
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and this was right when I had first moved down here to the mountains and I'd
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fallen in love with this place and had learned skills like how to
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camp and how to tend a fire.
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And we were camping and I was the fire tender for the night,
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and I felt really important.
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These were friends from back up north who were visiting me.
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And I was tending the fire and it
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was the end of the night, and I remember thinking,
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as I stood up to get the hatchet, to cut a little more firewood,
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I remember thinking to myself - there was this subtle wave that came over me
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and thought - I don't think we need anymore. I think we're good.
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I think that we're done. We can let this flow out. And I didn't listen.
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And I remember I went to go pick up the hatchet and it had gotten the handle of
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the hatchet had gotten pushed close enough to the fire,
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to the embers that it was starting to get charred on one end,
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and I picked it up and dropped it immediately, like ow,
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because it had gotten charred in that one spot.
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So the message got a little louder, right? Did I listen?
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Unfortunately not because I was still learning.
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So I put out the charred bit,
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and then I went to go chop what was going to be the last piece of wood on the
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fire, and I slipped and I ended up hitting myself with a blade.
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And I am fine. It turned out completely fine.
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It was a very painful injury,
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but all told I was okay.
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But it took that... to that point for me to listen to my intuition.
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And my intuition also that was helping me orient to like, Hey,
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you don't need to prove anything here, you know; just have fun.
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And so this is one example,
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and I like to use it because it's a little bit humorous,
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but this is what happens in our lives often, that we ignore
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the subtle pieces inside of ourself, the subtle messages that say,
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I think it might be time to move on, or I think it might be time to let go.
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We ignore that. And so the message has to get louder and louder and louder.
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But a huge shift can happen in our lives when we just pay
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attention to that intuition and that internal sense within us that says,
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I think it's time.
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And even though this event of this hurricane was so dramatic in our
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mountains,
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there's this way in which me choosing to not restart the apothecary still feels
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like a very subtle choice.
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And the call still feels subtle in that I had never gotten to that point
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with the apothecary where I felt like, oh, this is untenable. Or like, oh,
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I don't want this anymore, or this is draining me. Not at all, right?
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It was still something I loved.
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And yet in the aftermath of this experience,
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every time I kept reaching for this sense of the
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blueprint of the future, of the way forward,
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the apothecary wasn't a part of it.
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And so it's been this very beautiful,
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and at times emotional, experience of letting go.
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But here's the thing that I find to be so powerful about
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this: if we can learn how to navigate our lives based on
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those subtle messages,
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if we can learn to let go of what no longer fits before it becomes
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something that is harmful for us,
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we start to create this life that is built on this foundation, this legacy,
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of a kind of spiritual elegance,
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this elegance of really trusting what we know,
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trusting the subtle hints of where to move.
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And that elegance I find just seems to spread out into everything else
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in your life,
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and to support you as you move into the next era of your incarnation.
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This is not about whether something is beautiful or good in your life.
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Something can be beautiful and good and still no longer be attuned
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to where you're at and most importantly,
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where your spirit is asking you to go.
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So how do you know when it's time to move on?
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And
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I say this at the same time that I recognize that I had a very clear
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event that was giving me this choice point - there's been other choice points in
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my life that were not nearly as clear -but the
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signs are always there.
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So how do you know when it's time for you to move on from
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something? Well,
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the first thing to attune to is no longer feeling that
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sense of movement forward.
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Think about something in your life that you were really excited about when you
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started. And perhaps for this exercise,
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use something that you've already closed the chapter on - not something that
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you're still sort of influx about, but something you've closed the chapter on.
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Now, think back to when you first began it.
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Think back to that sense of excitement, momentum,
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movement forward. When we are meant to be putting our energy into something,
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we're going to feel that sense of movement and energy moving us forward.
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And when it's time for something to draw to a close, that momentum,
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that energy, is going to start to slow down.
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And specifically ,if you don't feel that movement,
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it also probably means you're not moved by it anymore in the same way that you
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used to be:
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that it used to be this creative force in your life that was moving you
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was moving the dialhead was moving your own
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evolution and self-concept.
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And when you don't feel that movement anymore within that thing,
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then it's time to let go.
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We are meant to engage with people and things that are
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supporting us in our evolution,
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that are helping us to get to the next phase in our
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evolution, to co-create with us where we're at, at that moment in time.
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And there's such a fallacy in our culture,
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there's such an attachment to this idea,
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that something is only truly a success if it's
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lifelong. So a business, for example,
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a relationship... that it's only successful if
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it lasted forever.
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And it's such a silly way to think about success.
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That's not my measure of success,
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and I don't think it's the way success is truly experienced on a
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spiritual level on our planet.
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Success means that you stepped in fully
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and that you grew and evolved through the experience,
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that you grew and evolved as much as you possibly could through that experience.
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So much so that there's almost not a charge
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anymore around the idea of letting it go.
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And if you're still in process right now with this,
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you might still feel a charge. And that's totally okay.
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But it's almost this sense of the charge that was
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connected to your learning within this is starting to dissolve.
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And I really think this goes along with the concept too,
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that we think the purpose of life is happiness,
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and it's not. The purpose of life is aliveness.
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It's to be alive. And so
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while I found still so much contentment and
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happiness and joy through the apothecary,
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was running the apothecary,
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would rebuilding this huge thing - something that would take me a whole year at
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least of my life to rebuild - would that bring me
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alive? And this is such an important question, right?
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Because it almost drains some of the value judgment out of it:
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that it's not about it being good or bad or right or wrong,
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it's just, is this the thing that's going to bring me alive?
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And in this way,
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we can really navigate our life to understand that we're not even being
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asked to know exactly why we're choosing the things we're choosing,
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or how that's going to turn out,
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we just need to trust that sense of aliveness that is
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pulling us forward, and that is sometimes asking us to make choices.
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And a really good question here that can help you with this and help you make
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one of those decisions is,
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if no one knew or cared about this thing,
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would you still do it? And this can even apply to relationships.
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If the person you're in relationship with didn't care whether or not you
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left that relationship, would you still be in it?
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And this can be a really fascinating way to reframe it.
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And so I think about this with the apothecary,
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and I still love making flower essences and taking flower
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essences and being able to give flower essences to my friends.
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But if I really asked myself,
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if no one knew or cared whether I stepped back into
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production,
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which is what having a brick and mortar,
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physical goods business is - it's a lot about production - would I
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produce again? And that answer was no.
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And so I'm curious,
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as you're listening and as maybe scenarios or connections or
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endeavors, projects, people, are coming up in your mind, to ask yourself,
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if the outcome was going to be fine either way,
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if people were not attached to this, what would I decide?
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And that can be a really good indicator of where your heart is leading you right
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now. Another sign that you have outgrown something in your life,
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another one of these subtle signs is that there's a slight discomfort to
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it.
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And it reminds me again of putting on that piece of clothing that you've
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outgrown. It's not bad. You're not like, I hate this thing,
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or This is so itchy, I'm going to jump out of my skin. But it's just like,
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there's something slightly uncomfortable about it.
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Maybe it's like rubbing your body in a way that doesn't feel great,
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or you look in the mirror and it's just something about the way that piece of
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clothing is cut just doesn't match your style,
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doesn't match your identity.
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And this can be really helpful if you are
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in the practice of tuning into your body, tuning into your soma,
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tuning into and tracking how you're feeling in your body...
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Because often when something is not right
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anymore - I keep thinking about that Whitney Houston line, "It's not right,
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but it's okay" - if it's not right anymore,
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there's going to be this slight sense of incongruency and
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discomfort. And that is an important thing to tune into.
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Because what's uncomfortable about it is that it's not
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matching you in the person that you are growing into now.
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It is not matching you in your
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unfurling, the deepest unfurling of who you are right now.
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It's not a resonance anymore.
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And that's why there's a slight discomfort. You know,
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if we are taking on and internalizing
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any pieces that are not us,
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our bodies and spirits are going to have a reaction to that.
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So it may not be something as dramatic as a flu where your body's spiking a high
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fever and saying, oh, this is not me! Get it out.
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That's not the kind of drama we're talking about.
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We're talking about the kind of discomfort of feeling like something's just a
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little too tight, something's a little too loose,
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something's a little too scratchy.
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And so really noticing and tracking inside of your body,
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how do I feel not just inside this thing right
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now,
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but how do I feel about the idea of continuing to be
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in this project, connection, relationship,
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basically having this chapter continue,
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or in my case really expending the profound
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energy that it would take to restart and
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rework this chapter of my life. And then finally,
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the last sort of hint that something might be done in your
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life,
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that you're ready to move on is just the sense of the river
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flowing in a new direction.
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And this is logistically very literally true,
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that when we are meant to move towards something in our life,
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there will be an energy flow that is already
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starting;
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I almost get the sense of like - and the visual I have - is it's flowing from
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behind us, through us, into the future.
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And there is a distinct energy flow that is here to guide us,
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leading into, what we're meant to step into next.
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And so a lot of this ability to attune to the subtle, your subtle No's,
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these subtle decisions,
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is being able to recognize when the river is just
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flowing in another direction. And I remember,
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this is something I said to a sweetie of mine when I was ending our
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relationship, ending that incarnation of our relationship, is I said,
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"It's not like anything is wrong or bad.
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I can just sense the river is flowing,
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and the longer I resist the current,
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the more tired and the more drained I feel." And so that's also an
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indicator, right? When you resist to the current,
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you will slowly get more and more tired,
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and feel more and more drained.
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And so sometimes it's just about letting go into
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that current of energy that is ready to move you into the new place.
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And that can be scary because sometimes we really don't know what that looks
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like. We really do not know what that next chapter is going to entail.
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But you can feel the sense of the river flowing.
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And you know, through tuning into your inner awareness,
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that the river is not flowing in the
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direction of that which you are still holding onto right now.
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And I want you to know that it's okay to have a lot of complicated set of
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feelings around this.
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It might not just be letting go into the river and experiencing bliss;
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likely you will experience grief.
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There is a real grief in letting go of something that's been a really beautiful
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part of our life, even when it's time for it to return to the earth.
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And so know that it's okay if there's a complicated mix of feelings come up,
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and, also, underneath all those feelings,
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you will probably notice a sense of relief:
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that letting go feels like a sense of
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relief,
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of being carried by this current into whatever it is that's supposed to
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come next.
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We don't expect flowers to bloom forever.
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I don't expect the poppies blooming in my garden right now to even be the
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same or be there tomorrow.
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And yet I don't think they're any less important or worthy because of
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that. And the same is true for these chapters in our lives; flowers,
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when they're complete,
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when they've given the gift that they're meant to bring to this world,
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when they get pollinated and they create seeds,
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the way that they bring those seeds back to the earth is by letting go,
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letting the flower go so that the seeds can come forth and plant a new
27:32
era.
27:33
And I really like this visual of literally
27:37
letting go of a flower. It's like you loved that flower,
27:41
that flower was so important to you, it was so beautiful,
27:46
and there can be a ritual here in letting go. So I'm curious,
27:51
what is coming up for you as you're listening to this podcast?
27:56
What people or situations or projects or
28:01
endeavors, what places where you putting your energy, came to mind?
28:05
As I've been talking, we always know,
28:08
a part of us always knows what is complete and what is
28:13
ready to see this ritual of completion take place.
28:19
So I'm curious; what is coming up? Really notice this,
28:23
because that is a message for you. You already know this,
28:28
and this is just making it that much clearer for you.
28:31
And the reason why that situation, endeavor, person, project,
28:36
came up,
28:37
is because it is taking a space in your life that is ready to be
28:42
used for something else,
28:44
that is ready to help propel you into your next phase
28:49
and your next evolution.
28:51
So I knew that I had big dreams for this year of
28:56
2025.
28:58
I knew this way back in 2024.
29:02
And when this event happened,
29:04
and I really took stock of what it would mean, what it would take,
29:08
to restart the apothecary - basically build this again from the ground up - I
29:12
realized that if I did that,
29:14
I wouldn't be able to step into the next dreams.
29:18
I wouldn't have the energy to start the podcast I wanted to start.
29:22
I wouldn't have the time and the spaciousness to start the new
29:27
school I wanted to create, Earth Angel School.
29:30
And I wouldn't have the momentum
29:34
or the creative space to work on my next book,
29:38
which is my next project this year.
29:41
And so in that way of thinking,
29:43
when I realized that even though I loved this thing,
29:47
when I realized that it would take the energetic place,
29:51
and the literal physical place, of my time and energy,
29:54
of these other things that I wanted to do, the decision was clear.
29:59
And so to know this too,
30:00
that if something is coming to you and is feeling like it's ready to be done,
30:05
it's ready to be released and let go - not because it's bad or
30:09
terrible,
30:10
but just because it doesn't fit anymore - then know that that's
30:14
because your spirit is saying there's space for
30:19
something else that's coming, and that something else is coming.
30:24
That sense of its arrival is part of what is moving you and
30:29
initiating you to even think about this, to even want to make this decision.
30:34
And in order to meet it when it arrives,
30:36
you need to have that space within you.
30:39
So know that it's actually not just about letting something go,
30:42
it's about creating the space for the newness,
30:45
for the next chapter, your next evolution to come in.
30:51
So I really encourage you, thinking again about these flowers,
30:54
I really encourage you, if something is coming up for you as I've been talking,
30:58
as you've been listening today, really pay attention. Take note of that.
31:03
And once you get clear on whether or not it's the right
31:07
time for you to let go,
31:09
I really encourage you to create some sort of ritual to mark the letting
31:13
go of this thing. And there's going to be physical actions you have to take,
31:18
you know: conversations, you have to have,
31:20
websites you need to take down, whatever it is.
31:23
There's going to be those things, of course.
31:25
But we always initiate these things on an energetic level first.
31:29
And having the ritualistic or the energetic container can really hold you
31:34
as you continue to make this clarifying decision,
31:38
and take the steps that you need to create this space in your life.
31:42
And I particularly love to work with flowers in this kind of ritual.
31:46
On the other side of losing the apothecary in Hurricane Helene,
31:51
it was a long process of cleanup,
31:53
of literally having these medicines go back to the earth.
31:57
And once we were at a place where things were a little more stable in the
32:02
building and on the grounds,
32:04
I went with my wonderful assistant
32:09
Aleli,
32:10
who's now the administrator of the schools that I run and is behind the scenes
32:14
doing all kinds of amazing things in my business.
32:17
She flew in and we did a ritual on the island
32:22
where the apothecary was,
32:24
where she had worked for years and years inside the apothecary.
32:28
And we brought flowers and we made a mandala
32:31
right on the shoreline,
32:33
where the water normally meets the island.
32:37
And it was such a powerful movement to
32:41
ritualistically let go.
32:43
Because even sometimes when we take those physical movements,
32:48
a part of our energy is still connected.
32:50
And so I really encourage you to design some sort of ritual for yourself.
32:55
Maybe you want to work with flowers too, put them in the water,
32:57
put the petals in the water and watch them go.
33:00
Or maybe something else is going to be calling you.
33:03
But design some sort of ritual that is marking this change in your life,
33:07
that is marking this transition that you have chosen for yourself based
33:12
on your subtle, intuitive knowing,
33:15
based on this guidance at the heart of you. So all of this is true:
33:20
that you are ready to move on,
33:23
that you're ready to embrace the next beautiful chapter by
33:28
letting go of this thing that just no longer
33:31
fits, and, as you're doing this,
33:35
you might feel what I call the pang.
33:39
The pang is that out-of-the-blue feeling,
33:43
almost like a cramp around your heart,
33:46
that comes with the grief of letting go.
33:50
And the pang can take other forms too. The pang can feel like worry.
33:54
The pang can feel like fear.
33:57
But the pang isn't a sign that you're on the
34:00
wrong path.
34:01
It's actually just a natural part of this process that you're in.
34:06
We don't grieve things and people that we
34:10
didn't love.
34:13
And so grieving for something being over is a sign
34:18
that you loved it, that it was an important part of your life.
34:22
And so when the pang comes, because it will come...
34:25
just know that it will come in waves. I still have pangs,
34:29
even though I made this decision now eight months ago,
34:33
I still have pangs that come up from time to time when I see a flower
34:37
blooming,
34:38
or I find one rogue essence bottle I still have here at my house,
34:43
I have a pang that arrives where I think, oh,
34:46
I miss this thing. And, I can hold both at the same time:
34:51
that I miss this thing because I miss that chapter of my life and all the beauty
34:56
it held. And at the same time,
34:58
I hold the reality that that whole chapter isn't gone.
35:02
It's inside of me. It's become integrated in who I am.
35:06
And it's actually supporting me into stepping into this next phase of my life,
35:10
because of everything that I learned about myself through that experience,
35:14
through that chapter in my life.
35:16
One way I love to work with this is an exercise that I call breathing and
35:19
feeling. And this is literally just breathing in
35:24
and on the exhale, naming that feeling that you're feeling.
35:27
This is also really helpful to bring you into a interoceptive
35:32
state, to really be paying attention to your inner landscape.
35:36
And oftentimes our emotions, they just want to be felt. That's it.
35:39
They're not asking for anything else of us.
35:41
They don't want you to go back into the past or to change your mind,
35:44
they just want to be felt. And so you breathe in,
35:48
and on the exhale, say out loud whatever that feeling is;
35:51
maybe it's sadness, maybe it's grief,
35:55
maybe it's fear, maybe it's worry. Whatever it is,
35:59
just say it out loud and repeat it for as many times as you
36:04
need to. So do this exercise for maybe 30 to 60 seconds, breathing in,
36:09
breathing out, saying, "grief, grief, grief,
36:13
grief." And keep doing this for about,
36:17
around that time, about a minute.
36:19
And then notice if the feeling has shifted at all.
36:22
So maybe you notice again on the next breath, you're like, "worry,
36:28
worry... Now I'm feeling worry.
36:30
And that's a little bit of a different flavor than grief." And so you keep
36:35
working with this. And normally I do this for maybe three minutes.
36:39
This is a short exercise. And I notice that just for having named it,
36:44
out loud, I feel so much different at the end of it.
36:48
And so this is a really beautiful way to work with the emotions that come up,
36:52
to feel them so they can be released.
36:55
This is charge and energy that just wants to be released.
36:58
It's not asking you to do anything different. It's just asking to be felt.
37:02
And if this pang feels like it has a really big presence in your life,
37:06
or it keeps coming up,
37:08
another way to work with this is to ask that pang to
37:13
speak.
37:14
So you could even do the same exercise where you breathe in and you breathe out
37:18
and you're naming the emotion, and then transition into breathing in,
37:21
and as you breathe out, speaking out loud as that pang.
37:25
And so you might say something like, I am afraid that...
37:30
Or I'm sad that...
37:31
And just let this pang inside of you have a voice for a minute.
37:37
It's okay to breathe in and breathe out and say, I miss...
37:41
Maybe part of you misses some aspect of this, and that's fine. Say,
37:45
I miss this. This is what I miss. This is specifically what I miss about this.
37:50
And once you feel like you've spoken enough of these, you can ask that pang,
37:55
come into conversation with that feeling inside of you, and ask the pang,
37:59
what is it that you need?
38:01
Because oftentimes when the pang is up, when we're feeling these feelings,
38:06
when we're afraid or we're grieving or we miss something,
38:11
actually... there's an unmet need in that moment. And it might just be,
38:15
I need to be felt. I just need you to feel me. That's all. Or it might be,
38:20
I need a ritual to mark this ending of this chapter and the beginning of another
38:24
one. Or I miss being
38:29
outside every week making essences as these flowers are
38:34
blooming. I miss this.
38:36
Can we still do this even though we're not bottling thousands of
38:41
bottles, and sending them around the world? And I can say to that pang, yes,
38:45
yes, we can. I can also say to that pang, Hey,
38:48
we're not doing this now, but never say never.
38:52
It's possible we might do it again.
38:54
And sometimes that can also be very helpful for the pang,
38:57
especially when we're talking about things that we're letting go not because
39:01
they're toxic, but because they're just not right anymore.
39:05
And then lastly,
39:07
one way I love to work with that pang when it comes out is to call in the
39:11
tug to meet it.
39:13
So these are the two forces that I see at play when we are really being asked to
39:18
let go of a chapter and move on. On the one side,
39:21
we have the tug. That is the thing that we're moving towards,
39:26
the momentum, the movement. And then on the other side, we have the pang,
39:30
a thing that is still helping us process the past,
39:34
helping us process what we're letting go.
39:36
And so sometimes when I have the pang come up,
39:38
I'll ask for the presence of the tug.
39:41
And this might look like a particular thing - maybe it's a vision of where I
39:46
want to be in the future.
39:47
Maybe it's visualized as a being,
39:51
a guide a color. Let it be authentic to you.
39:55
But really call in that tug,
39:58
the thing that's moving you forward, the exciting spaciousness,
40:02
that possibility, and literally that spaciousness can hold space for the pang.
40:07
I know you're sad, and I know you miss this,
40:11
but look at and feel right now the spaciousness that I actually have to hold
40:15
you,
40:15
that is grounded in my excitement for and the energy and
40:20
momentum that is building in anticipation of this really bright
40:25
new chapter in my life.
40:27
Taking a moment to really sense all the energy that's going to be on the other
40:31
side of this decision can be so helpful because ultimately that's why
40:36
you're being called to make this change.
40:39
And this is what we're asked to do when it no longer fits:
40:42
to let go so we can step into the spaciousness of our own becoming.
40:47
And the more you start to call that feeling into your life now,
40:52
the more you will be able to access the clarity and the strength and the
40:57
perspective that you need to make the changes that you need to make,
41:00
in order to really meet what is coming, to meet what is waiting for you,
41:05
to meet your own unfolding evolution.
41:09
So you will evolve so many times in this lifetime.
41:13
You'll live so many lifetimes inside of this
41:16
lifetime. And so much can happen when we let go of that tight
41:21
grip of holding onto what was,
41:24
if we allow ourselves to move with the current of the river
41:29
of what we're becoming,
41:31
we then get to evolve in this way to touch these unfolding aspects of
41:36
ourself, to continually surprise ourselves.
41:40
So there was this quote that I wrote on the chalkboard in the room of my
41:45
apothecary,
41:47
and I wrote this quote on the chalkboard when I first moved in 10 years ago.
41:52
And I thought to myself, oh, I'll change this quote. I'll change it a lot.
41:55
I'll change it however I'm feeling that day. I never changed it, not once.
42:01
And this quote by the Irish poet, John O'Donohue went like this:
42:05
"live like the river flows,
42:07
carried by the surprise of its own unfolding."
42:13
I had no idea when I wrote that quote on the wall of my apothecary,
42:18
just how much it would mean to me.
42:21
I had no idea how much it would fortell the
42:26
unfolding of my life. But I have thought about it so many times since.
42:31
As the waters came in and wiped the slate of that chalkboard clear,
42:36
I thought about how this is the ultimate way for me to
42:41
acknowledge the beauty and the life force of this thing that I created,
42:45
is to continue to live like a river,
42:48
to be carried by the surprise of my unfolding.
42:52
And I invite you to step into that river too,
42:55
to let yourself be surprised by your own unfolding,
42:58
and to let yourself be carried into this next phase of your
43:03
life. So thank you so much for being here, for listening,
43:08
for being a part of this new chapter in my life.
43:11
The start of this podcast has been such a profound new unfolding for
43:16
me, and I'm just so honored to be in this space with you.
43:20
So thank you for being here and know that I am here really
43:25
rooting for you and for this change that is happening in your life because you
43:29
know: you know when it's time,
43:33
and you know that so much is waiting for you on the other side.
43:37
So if this is resonating with you, I'd love to hear from you.
43:41
I have a voice message mailbox over on my website at
43:44
asiasuler.com/remember.
43:47
And if this is striking a chord with you,
43:50
I'd love to hear the story of your river and where it's carrying you.
43:54
And if this podcast is speaking to you,
43:57
if this feels like a supportive place, a restful place,
44:01
then I would love it if you gave this podcast a rating,
44:05
a thumbs up or a review.
44:07
These just mean so much to me and they're energy that
44:11
carries me forward in my own unfolding. So until next time,
44:17
may the river carry us all,
44:19
may we arrive on that other side intact,
44:24
connected, excited,
44:26
alive and back in touch with
44:32
the most important thing of all:
44:35
that remembrance of why we're here.