Latest / Natty Unfiltered / E26 Reprogram Your Mind Before You Rebuild Your Life

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E26 Reprogram Your Mind Before You Rebuild Your Life · Natty Unfiltered

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  Foreign.
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  Your mind. Before you rebuild your life,
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  your life changes twice. First in your mind,
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  then in reality. Most people try to
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  change their life first. The people who create lasting change become
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  someone different before their circumstances ever
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  do. So what if I told you that the biggest thing standing
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  between you and the life you want, it's not your job,
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  it's not your bank account, and it's not your age or
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  your your past. It's the conversation happening
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  inside your own head. Because whether you
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  realize it or not, you're listening to yourself all day long.
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  And eventually you become whatever you've been listening,
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  repeating to yourself. So today I want to talk about
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  something that completely changed my life. Learning how to reprogram
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  my mind before I ever tried to change my circumstances.
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  Welcome back to Nadi Unfiltered I'm Neti and I'm so happy
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  you're here. This podcast is all about becoming the
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  version of yourself. You've always known what's inside you.
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  The woman who believes in herself, takes chances,
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  and creates a life on her own terms.
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  If you've been enjoying these conversations, I would
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  love for you to follow the podcast and leave a review.
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  Every share and every review helps this message reach someone
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  who might need it today. So let's dive in.
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  Have you ever noticed how two people can go through almost the
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  exact same situation? And one person walks
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  away saying, life is against me, and the other one says,
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  well, life is preparing me for something.
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  It's the same situation, different story,
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  different outcome. And that made me wonder,
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  if our lives are so heavily, like, influenced by
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  the stories we tell ourselves, then why aren't we paying
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  more attention to those stories now?
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  For years I thought confidence would magically arrive
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  after success. I thought once I had the career I've been always
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  wanting, I once I have enough money,
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  once people believed in me, then I
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  finally believe in myself. But that's not
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  what actually happened. I realized I was
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  waiting for outside circumstances to create
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  an inside feeling. But the thing
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  is, is like it never works that way. Confidence isn't
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  the reward. Confidence is what gets you there.
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  And in order to be confident, you need to be putting in the work every
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  single day. So like, if I when I wanted to completely
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  kind of change my messaging and on
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  social media and I needed to speak more into the camera.
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  When I first started, like I couldn't even look at my videos.
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  I couldn't really hear my voice because it was very uncomfortable.
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  It's something was new to me. It's one thing
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  to be taking pictures or when you cooking and you're doing voiceover,
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  but when you actually stand there and speak into the
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  camera, it's completely different vibe, completely different
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  feeling. And in order for me to be confident
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  in talking to the camera, getting my message across,
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  I needed to do it over and over and over again. I needed
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  to ask for advice of what closest people to me thought about
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  it, what tweaks I needed to make. And eventually I
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  started to build that confidence in actually pressing the record button and talking
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  to the camera and feeling confident in what
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  I was saying and kind of showing up for
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  myself and delivering my message to other
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  women, other moms, and hopefully helping them to
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  see themselves in that different light. Because I've gone through my own transformation.
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  Now. Think about your phone. Every app runs
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  be because of software. You don't even see.
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  Your mind works the same way. Most of
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  us are living today based on programs. We didn't consciously
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  choose. Things people told us, things teachers
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  said, things we believed after failing. Or maybe
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  someone told you, you know, like, you're either too quiet or
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  you're not creative or you're not business minded.
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  You know, money is hard. Successful people are lucky.
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  You're too old to start over. Maybe no one said
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  those exact words, but somewhere along the way, you believe them.
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  And then, you know, years later, you're still living from
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  that program. And that's what's called the subconscious mind.
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  A lot of us actually developed that since
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  childhood. That that's something that I had to work through.
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  I had to figure out why I was always
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  kind of stopping halfway through. A lot
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  of things that I wanted to start is because I was afraid, afraid to
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  fail. And until I
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  realize is that, listen, failure is
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  part of the success. Failure is part of learning. And if
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  I don't try, if I don't go all the way in, then how
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  am I gonna know that I can succeed?
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  Because by me not putting my
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  all in into, like, the business venture,
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  whatever that I wanted to do, then I'm already failing.
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  But that's something that I had to work through. I was not
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  really believing in myself. And I think it's also from the childhood, from the,
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  you know, like, I know that we
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  learned a lot of things from also from like our parents and maybe
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  the fears that they've had or, you know, they want us to have certain
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  careers. And when they
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  kind of sort of maybe instill those doubts without
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  maybe even realizing, then you start growing up believing those
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  things. And maybe you start believing that, well, I can't really do this because
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  I don't know enough or I can't really do this because, I don't know,
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  I'm. I'm. Maybe I'm not smart enough or I can't get to
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  that level. Whatever it is, you have those always thoughts and, and believes in
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  your head. And that's kind of what's stopping you from moving forward, from achieving
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  and seeing that you can actually succeed. You can actually be
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  successful. But here's the good news.
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  Your brain isn't permanent. It's adaptable.
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  And that's one of the most hopeful things I've
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  ever learned. Just because you, you've believed something for
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  20 years, say, doesn't mean you have
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  to believe it. For the next 20, you can write
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  a new story. And here's something I want you to remember.
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  Your brain doesn't know the difference between what you repeatedly
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  imagine and what you've repeatedly experienced.
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  That's why what you feed your mind matters.
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  Kind of remember that you. There's always time
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  to change. You cannot say that while I'm already in my
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  30s, my 40s, I'm set in my ways. Yes, we are
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  set in our ways. But that does not mean that you
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  cannot take steps to change. That doesn't mean that you cannot take
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  the steps to reprogram your mind. You just
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  don't want to do it. What if you tried?
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  Because I've done it. Plenty of people have
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  done it. I know people who have done besides me.
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  So what makes you different than other people?
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  And I know sometimes, and I've heard this before, and people
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  even close to me, you know, like Elder, like, well, I'm setting
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  my ways and this is that. But I think it's just you
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  are set in that mindset that while
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  this is how I am, accept me or not, and I'm not changing while
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  you're being really stubborn and you're not trying to change. And what if you did
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  try? Can you imagine the possibilities
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  and kind of how you can be looking out into the world and to the
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  different situation, handling different situations and the things that happen
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  to you in life that can be happening differently now.
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  What changed everything for me is that I stopped asking
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  what do I need to do? And start asking who do
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  I need to become? That question changed everything,
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  because becoming happens before achieving.
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  The woman who has confidence,
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  acts differently, speaks differently, she protects
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  her peace differently, she makes decisions differently,
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  she keeps promises to herself differently.
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  Eventually her life catches up.
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  When you change, everything around
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  you changes. Now, there are
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  three things that help me reprogram my mind. First,
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  pay attention to your self talk. If your best
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  Friend spoke to you the way you speak to yourself. Would you stay friends
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  with them? Probably not. Not for a
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  long time. So why is it okay when you do it? I know
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  that a lot of times we keep on taking, taking, taking.
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  And so we. A lot of times we
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  are very hard on ourselves. And this is when you have
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  to stop yourself, pause and kind
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  of say to yourself, look, why am I talking to myself like
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  this? I know better. And I need to stop that
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  thought process about myself now. Second,
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  borrow belief until your own catches up.
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  Now, when I started creating content, I didn't fully believe
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  in myself. I did not think that I was, like,
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  worthy. I didn't. I did not think that I knew enough, I was
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  pretty enough. I didn't have the confidence,
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  but I believed other people,
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  you know, had done it. So maybe,
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  just maybe I could too.
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  And sometimes borrowed belief is enough to get
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  moving. So when I kind of started seeing,
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  you know, like, other people, like other moms who
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  have been successful, then I started to think,
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  like, well, why not me? Why can't I do it? I just have to find
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  my messaging. I have to find my groove. I have to find my
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  own people that enjoy
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  my content that would follow and
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  they like, what, what the message I,
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  you know, put out there. And the right people would
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  just, you know, would just find me. So I
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  kind of had to again get out
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  of my head and believe that I
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  was good enough. Now third, become proof
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  to yourself. Keep one promise,
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  then another, then another.
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  And confidence doesn't appear overnight.
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  It accumulates over time.
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  So every small promise you keep tells your
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  brain, I'm becoming someone I can trust again.
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  I come back to confidence. Confidence,
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  that's something that you're not born with.
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  Confidence grows over time. And confidence
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  starts when you are consistently
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  staying on track.
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  And this is how you build confidence. You don't just do it, oh,
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  I'll just do it, you know, once a week or once a month.
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  Well, that's gonna take time. And you not really sticking
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  to yourself into your promises. And so
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  when you are deciding that, okay, this is what I'm gonna do,
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  this is the change I'm gonna make, and I'm gonna do it
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  on a consistent basis, on a daily basis.
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  That's when you really start to seeing the change.
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  So I would challenge you
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  this week for the next, like seven days.
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  Every time you catch yourself saying, I can't,
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  I'll never. I'm not. Stop.
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  Replace it immediately with, I'm learning, I'm becoming,
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  I'm figuring it out. Your brain is always listening.
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  So give it something better to believe. You always have
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  to catch yourself and whenever
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  your mind goes and start doubting things or
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  things negatively, you need to right away switch it and
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  think positively and say that you can. Things will
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  work out. Everything that happens happens for the best.
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  And for crying out loud, don't say things out loud because
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  it's like what you put out in the universe is what you're gonna
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  get. So stop speaking negatively if
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  you don't want to attract the very same thing you don't want
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  to be happening. I hope today's conversation reminded you
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  that changing your life doesn't start with changing your
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  circumstances. It starts by changing the story you
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  repeat to yourself every single day. Your future
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  is listening to the words you speak today, so choose
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  them carefully in this episode.
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  If this episode encouraged you, I would love for you to share it
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  with someone who needs this reminder. Follow the podcast and
• 15:34
  leave a review. Every single one helps this community to grow,
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  and I'm so grateful you're here. And before we
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  go, I want to leave you with something that I hope becomes a reminder
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  every time we spend time together. Remember,
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  the life you're dreaming about isn't waiting for a different version of you.
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  It's waiting for the version of you who's
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  willing to believe she's capable of creating it.
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  Keep showing up. Keep believing in yourself.
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  Keep becoming the person your future is already
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  cheering for. Until next time,
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  stay unapologetically you.
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  Thanks for spending this time with me. I'll see you in the next episode
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  of Nadi.