Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #298 Three Minute Therapy #2 - Unconditional Love

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#298 Three Minute Therapy #2 - Unconditional Love · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. Now.
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  Speaker 2: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson. I'm here with Kylie,
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  Speaker 2: my wife and co host and unto our six daughters.
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  Speaker 2: And it's the school holidays in our home state of Queensland,
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  Speaker 2: which means we're making the most of our time with
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  Speaker 2: our kids, which means quality time with them, which means
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  Speaker 2: less time on the podcast. As a result, we've decided
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  Speaker 2: that we're just going to share brief snippets a handful
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  Speaker 2: of really simple ideas in your feed each day so
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  Speaker 2: that you can spend as much time as you can
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  Speaker 2: with your family as well, but get some good advice
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  Speaker 2: along the way. And Kylie today some advice that I
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  Speaker 2: think is really really important, especially for time poor, stressed
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  Speaker 2: our parents, and it's something that I really like. Tell
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  Speaker 2: me what you think of this. Every now and again
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  Speaker 2: I come across the statement that really makes me go wow,
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  Speaker 2: Like that punched me right in the soul of plexus,
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  Speaker 2: That winded me. It kind of hurts a bit, shakes
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  Speaker 2: me up. And this is one of them. And I
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  Speaker 2: don't know where I found the quote. It's I just
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  Speaker 2: I don't know where it came from. When you criticize
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  Speaker 2: a child, they don't stop loving you, they stop loving themselves.
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  Speaker 1: It really hits it to the call, doesn't it?
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  Speaker 2: Wow?
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  Speaker 1: Because you see it all the time. You know, children
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  Speaker 1: can be mistreated so terribly by the people that should
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  Speaker 1: love them the most, and they just love them. You
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  Speaker 1: watch it, you watch it in a child. But that
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  Speaker 1: recognition that the negativity that we push in their direction
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  Speaker 1: actually becomes their inner voice. It changes the way they
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  Speaker 1: see themselves. That makes me cry.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really it's been to be well, we're
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  Speaker 2: going to we'll spin it around so that it is
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  Speaker 2: inspiring and positive. But it's a great reminder as well,
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  Speaker 2: because sometimes I love what you've just said. It's almost
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  Speaker 2: like our voice becomes their inner voice. Yeah, really, really
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  Speaker 2: really impactful. Our kids are going to see themselves as
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  Speaker 2: valuable or otherwise based on how they're treated, particularly how
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  Speaker 2: they're treated by us as their parents. And when they
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  Speaker 2: feel love and acceptance, you know what, they feel lovable
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  Speaker 2: and acceptable, But when our love is contingent and conditional,
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  Speaker 2: they feel like they're ownly valuable. When they're doing I'm
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  Speaker 2: going to use air quotes the right thing which promotes
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  Speaker 2: insecurity and maybe even self loathing or pity. And when
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  Speaker 2: they feel like that about themselves, you know what happens
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  Speaker 2: to their behavior. It deteriorates, it gets terrible. It reflects
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  Speaker 2: how they perceive their value.
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  Speaker 1: So our challenge for today is to help your child
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  Speaker 1: feel like they matter and they belong no matter what
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  Speaker 1: they do. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Not only if you can do that today, even when
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  Speaker 2: they do the wrong stuff, when they're annoying, they'll be
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  Speaker 2: drawn to you because of your love, and then they'll
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  Speaker 2: actually feel worthy of that love and they'll act accordingly.
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  Speaker 2: Big challenge. We're going to flip that statement from a
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  Speaker 2: negative to a positive and see if we can turn
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  Speaker 2: criticism in to unconditional love. We hope that you enjoy
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  Speaker 2: that tip. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin
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  Speaker 2: Rulon from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
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  Speaker 2: Hey have a great holiday. If you'd like more info
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  Speaker 2: about making your family happy because it Happy families dot
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  Speaker 2: com dot au