Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Almost Famous In Depth: Demi Burnett

Transcript

Almost Famous In Depth: Demi Burnett · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Ashley and I are back this time with a guest
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: that I know you all are going to be excited about.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation has wanted to hear from our next guest
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: for a long time. This is another in depth episode
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: of the Almost Famous podcast. Ashley, without giving out a name,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: how pumped are you for today's sit down? When I
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: came when I usually come up with questions, in the
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: amount of questions never flows the way it did for
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: me today, Like I just had question after question after
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: questions question. So this person is definitely an interesting person. Uh,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: this is gonna be a great sit down. I'm pumped.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Without delaying it any further, She's known from Colton Underwood
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: season of The Bachelor. She later went onto Bachelor in Paradise,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: where she was pursued by Derek Paith, but ended up
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: getting engaged to Christian Haggardy At the end. Christian and
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: our next guest announced on Instagram Live that they were
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: splitting up on October one of two thousand nineteen. She
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: is so much more than a Bachelor Nation contestant. Her
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: life is something that we all are going to learn
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: from the day welcome the podcast, Demi Burnett. Hello, thank
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: you for having me. Hello. Hello, we are so excited
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: to have you. I was on your podcast last week
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: which just started. It's called Big Demi Energy. Yes, because
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: you want us to tell you want to tell us
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: what that's all about. What are you guys going to
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: be covering over there? Yeah? Big Demi Energy is just
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: about like, you know, shooting the having fun, having fun guests,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: being confident. You know, it's like the beginning of it.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: So I'm still talking about a lot of ideas that
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: we can do. Uh, it's pretty intimidating, but I'm like
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: starting to have a lot of fun with it now,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Like the more that it keeps going with time and
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: stuff awes. Um all right, well, we are going to
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: get everyone to get to know you so well today
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: that they're going to want more and more of you,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: and they'll have to go to your podcast to get that.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: So let's start from the very beginning of your life, Demi. Gosh,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: can you tell us about growing up in your childhood? Um? Yeah,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: So my childhood was interesting. I don't think I've ever
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: really talked about this before. Um. I grew up with
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: the single dad, so whenever I was three, my dad
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: and my mom got divorced and my mom uh moved away.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: She like always was I don't know. We were in
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Virginia and she moved to like New Mexico, and my
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: dad always took care of us. He was an amazing father.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Whenever I was younger, he was working in the White
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: House and work in a full job and taking care
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: of me and my brother. And my mom was, you
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: know somewhere out there. We would see her like on
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: holidays and stuff like that, and like, we loved seeing
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: her so much because like, even though she wasn't present
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: for a lot of it, whenever we did have time
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: with her, she was like such a good mom and
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: like so sweet to us and like, you know, she's
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: just very motherly and loving. Um. So we really liked
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: spending time with her, and it was always so much fun.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: But it was never stable, Like we never knew when
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: we were going to see her. We never knew what
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: was going on with her, Like you know, she's messed
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: up in drugs, messed up with men. Uh. And my
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: dad always had a really really stable environment for us.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: So we've always been with him, and uh, he's a
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: rock star. And so that's like early childhood living in Stafford, Virginia.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: And then my dad got remarried to this woman and
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: she had two sons. So that's whenever I was about six.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: So I had three brothers and like this awesome new
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: step mom and it was so funny. We would like
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: me and all my brothers would like have this lineup
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: of computers and we would just game all day long together. Um.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: And so they were together about five years and then
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: whenever I was eleven, something happened I don't really know what,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: and they split up then and my dad and my
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: stepmom at the time, and that was a pretty big
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: bummer because I mean I had like grown so close
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: to these people, you know, and like these were my brothers,
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: and like all of a sudden they were gone. And
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: so that was really tough and it was hard on
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: my dad and my brother too, and hard on them.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So whenever I was eleven, we moved from Stafford to
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Texas to be closer to my dad's family, and we
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: like moved to Fort Worth with his mom and dad,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: or his mom and his stepdad, and we started going
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: to school there. Uh. It was it was really hard,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: but like my dad was like really solid rock through
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: all of it, you know, and like just always made
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: sure we were taken care of, and it was It's
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: just really cool because like I know, as a parent
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: you have an obligation to do that, but like you
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: know a lot of people fall short, and he like
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: never fell short as a dad, Like we were always
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: this priority and like meanwhile, all this is going on,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: still no idea what's going on with my mom, and
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: no idea where she is, like randomly seeing her um
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: she had a like whenever I would go see her.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: She had this one house in California. It was in Fresno,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: like right outside of Fresno in the mountains, and she
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: it was like a huge ranch. It was called like
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Crazy Horse Ranch, and we had like all these horses
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: and any animal we wanted, like we could have it.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: So we just had so many animals and we were
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: always just going to round out there and like having
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: a blast with her. Like new Man who ended up
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: being a complete psychopath, but you know, he had like
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: a good facade of like making us feel like he
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: was awesome, but he was really trash. Um. But yeah,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: so that's like I love like even smelling horse poop
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: now because it just like takes me back to those
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: fun summers and it's just special. Um. So, then whenever
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: we were like at my dad's house, we moved to
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: this little town called Red Oak whenever I was in
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: seventh grade, and it was a problem. It was in
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: the beginning, like the worst like memories that I have.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Like it's like you know, middle school, you know, stuff
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: like that, because I had come from this place in
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Virginia where like everyone was so nice to me. I
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: had never like been bullied. I'd never had anyone be
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: mean to me. And I moved to this Red Oak
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: town in seventh grade, I'm like going through an awkward stage,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: and I like was so bullied. These girls were so mean,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: threatening to like kick my ass, and like I was
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: twelve years old, I had no idea what they were
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: talking about. I was like, what do you mean You're
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: gonna kick my ass? You want to fight me? Like why?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: It was bizarre, and so then I kind of had
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: to like toughen up and like I don't know, it
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: kind of made me a little hard, and you know,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: like I was. It was weird because I was just
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: so innocent, and then like I was it hurt me
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: so bad. And so then I was like okay, like
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I dog eat dog world, like I've got to figure
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: out how to survive. Um, and girls are just so mean.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: And then you know, middle school like got through it it.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Then I went to high school and it was the
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: same thing. Um, I played volleyball all throughout all of this.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: That was my life and that's like all I ever did.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: My dad was pretty strict on me, so like I
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: didn't ever party or drink or anything. I just went
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to school, made great grades, played volleyball, went home like
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: it was pretty much all I did. I had some
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: time with friends, but oh and then, um, like my
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: dad was always super super like strict about us going
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: to church. So I spent a lot of time going
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: to church like three times a week, like Sunday morning,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Sunday night, Wednesday night. Uh. And so I kind of
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: got like once I graduated high school, I was like
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: pretty much over that, and I was like, I'm not
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: gonna go anymore. Um, I'm gonna like, you know, I'll
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: see where life takes me and like where I'm drawn
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: to if I want to get back into that stuff,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: but yeah, I don't know. Then I graduated and went
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to college, and since I never partied in high school,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I partied so hard in college, and uh, I was wild.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: But that's kind of whenever I found myself because in
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: high school I was really I was friends with everybody
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: and stuff, but I wasn't confident in myself, and so
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: like I wasn't myself all the time, Like I was
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: just kind of like quiet or like I thought, you know, insecure,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: thinking people didn't want to talk to me, or like
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: people didn't want to be friends with me, or scared
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: that somebody was going to try to fight me. Um.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: And so then I went to college and I like
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: got this confidence because I was like, you know what,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I'm a pretty cool person. Like people like to be
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: around me, and if they don't, then they don't have
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: to be around me. And I just gotta like, you know,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: make sure like I treat people well if they treat
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: me well. And you know, it's still something I work
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: on today, is like treating people well no matter what. Um.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes I just take jokes too far.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: But yeah, and then after that I feel like I'm rambling. No. No,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I love it awesome. Well, and I think this is
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: a good place here too. Is you're definitely not rambling.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: This is what this is. So this is a lot this,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: this whole setup is about this you personally, so that
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: everybody can out there kind of connect the dots between. Okay,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: this is the Demmi we saw on television, this is
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: the Demmi we've rooted for, but we've only got to
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: see a very small piece of her life, what brought
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: her to this point today, and so to some up
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: all of that and to also walk us into this
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: next phase of kind of your life story. Um as
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I as I'm sitting here listen to you, I'm like, Okay,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: there's so much here to unplug, right, Like I would
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: love to talk to you about your faith now and
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: where that stands. I would love to talk to you
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: about the impact that your family has had on you
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: through all these changes. I would love to talk about
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: and just say, like, holy cow, Demmi at seventh grade,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: you've gone through all of this, Like, there's gotta be
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: a lot there that you've learned and realized. So in short,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: this is what I want to ask you to take
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: us in the next phases. If there's three things that
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: people need to know about you as a human that
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: would help them understand you. What would those three things be, Um.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: One of them would be that I am ultimately pretty
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: dang sensitive and I try to cover that up because
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: in the past, whenever I had shown my emotions like
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: this is kind of in regards to like my ex
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: stepdad that my mom was with that guy, like you know,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: if I would cry about something like, he would be
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: so mean to me about it, Like you know, there
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: was just no like sympathy. There was no like never
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: felt bad for me or anything, never wanted to make
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: me feel better, just was like, stop crying your baby,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: like all this stuff. And so it's just kind of
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: like shaming me out of my emotions all the time.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: So like I do have like this hard shell around me,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: but like I am very sensitive, UM, and I feel
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: things like very very strongly. I just kind of pretend
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: like I don't, which you know isn't healthy. Um. Another
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: thing is is that I pretty much of in my head. Uh.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: I Like I overthink a lot of things. I'm I'm
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: constantly in my head, and uh I can misinterpret a
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: situation by overthinking too much about it. But I always
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: will hear you out. And like I I'm not stubborn
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: on that, like I I'm willing to change my mind
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: very like quickly and like logically, um, I'm not irrational.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Um another thing mm hmm. I'm very very protective and
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: loyal and stuff. But sometimes that can get to a
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: point where like I'm so protective and loyal that it's
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: and I I feel very uncomfortable if I have no
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: control over situation or like you know, like I have
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: a little bit of like a control thing that I'm
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: very aware of, and I have to be like okay,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: like it's okay if you're not control of like the
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: dinner plans for tonight or something, or it's okay that
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: you're not in control of how somebody's making you feel
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: right now. And just that's something because I know that
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: that's caused issues in the past with me and like
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: friendships and stuff like that and relationships, and it's, uh,
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: it's something that like I I need like the people
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: in my life to have a little patience with me
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: on it, because like I understand that that's really hard
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: to deal with somebody who can be a little controlling
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to be that way, but it's
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it's like embedded in my brain. It's
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: like it must be genetic or something. I don't know,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: but I think it's I haven't been in control of
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: so many situations in my life that now like it
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: has this obsession with me, like wanting to be able
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: to control it now that I like feel like I can,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: and uh, yeah it's tough. Let's let's see. Look at
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: me always in my brain like overthinking everything, trying to
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: make sense of situations, like trying to figure out the
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: right thing to do or the right way to handle it,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: or like you know, be self aware and yeah, I
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: just live in this brain. So I mean, just to
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: close that thought to me? How often? Actually I talked
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: about this sometimes, but how often is it that you
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: will be in a situation? And I think it's funny
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: because the show is obviously the most relatable example for
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: all of us, But how often can you be in
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: a situation and you you like say something, do something
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: and you look back and you like have this like
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: guilt or shame or just like you in your own
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: brain questioning like every like I did it last night, right,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: I went out with some friends. I don't know what.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: We did a bourbon tasting, so I drink a bunch
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: of bourbon and I'm talking and I'm just talking all
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: night and I woke up this morning like what in
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the world did I say last night? Like I got
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: so vulnerable that, like they're probably scared to death today.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: And I say this because of relating it back to
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: the show. How hard was it to watch some of
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: this stuff back? Um? I probably do that, Like on
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: a daily basis. I say something and I'll just like something.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I also just say the wrong things, but I
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: will say something and I'll walk away from the situation.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, dear god, what did I just say?
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Like what did I just do? Like are they going
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: to interpret that weird? Are they going to be mad
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: at me? Like I do it every day? Um, watching
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: the show back, there's so many times where I just
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: cringe and I'm like, oh, I can't even watch it,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm hard on myself. And whenever I
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: guess it was less sufur bachelor because I'm the bachelor.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: They just kind of had me be funny and stuff
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: like that. I mean, there were some things that you know,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: offended some people, but uh, I don't know. In Paradise
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: for me was like cringe, e I don't know why.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I just I can't even watch it again. All right, Demmy,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I want to get back into your childhood before we
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: move on to your bachelor experience. But we're going to
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: do that right after this break. DEMI, what age were
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: you when your mom went to prison? Um, So that's
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: a little unclear for me. Um. You know, parents like
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I want to protect you whenever you're a kid, and
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: that kind of information, you know, like especially me, like
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I was just this super adorable little blonde girl like
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: running around. I think the last thing they wanted to
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: tell me it was like, your mom was going to prison.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: So it was sometime whenever I was younger. She went
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: for a couple of years, Like I didn't see her
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: for a while, and I didn't know why. Um. But yeah,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: so whenever I was under ten, Like I really couldn't
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: even tell you how old I was because I didn't
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: even know until after years after it had happened. Um,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: and then she went back, Uh it was it was, yeah,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: so I was twenty two, I guess whenever she went
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: in the second time, one or twenty two. Um, and
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: then she got out, you know, whenever I was on
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: the show, and then Um, she she went back. She's
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: in prison right now. Oh no, I'm so sorry. Yeah,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: it is what it is, um, but she'll be out
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: in May. It was just she like violated probation or something,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: failed a drug test or something. Are you comfortable sharing
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: with us why she went to prison the other two times? Um?
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Like sorry, did you ask me why she went to
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: prison the other two times? Yeah? Because you can google
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: it and find out. I'm not exactly sure. It had
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: something to do with like embezzlement, fraud and you know,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: something to do with that stealing money from somebody. It's weird,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: right because when I was prepp just an alter, when
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I was prepping for this podcast, I was like, I'm
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: gonna laugh my brains off talking to you, and I
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: think we still will. There's a lot of funny things here.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: But the beauty of you is that you're complex, and
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: we all are, right, We're all complex at some level.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: But like your story right away is like I'm just
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: sitting here, I don't know, really happy to be talking
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: to you. I guess would be the thing, like I'm
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: gonna learn a lot from you today, and I know
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Ashley is as well. Um, how did this? How does
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: having this is gonna feel so insensitive, but like, how
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: does having growing up knowing that your mom is in prison? Like,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: how does that affect you as a human? Um? Yeah,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: that's I guess that's the best way to say it. Um.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I it affected me like not having her like present
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: and like you know, making bad decisions and stuff like
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: not having that like nurture. It definitely kind of made
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: me like a little bit harder and I'm like a
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: little bit colder. And also like I had to. You know,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: my dad took care of me so well, like the
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: best he ever or he or anyone else ever could,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: but you know, he had to work too, so there
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: was a lot of things that like I had to
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: do that normally moms would do. And so I did
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of things for myself. So like now, if
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: somebody doesn't do things from the for themselves, they're like,
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: you know, like they have their mom doing a bunch
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: of stuff for them. Still, I like jealous that I
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: didn't have that, and so it makes me a little
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: bitter and I'm like, you can't do anything yourself. But
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: then I'm like I'm sorry, I'm just I know that
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: I'm just jealous that I never got to experience that. Um,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: but it I mean it definitely like cause a lot
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: of like mommy issues, Like me and my brother always
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: like joke about it. Um, just because like loving, like
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: putting so much love and having so much love for
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: this woman who you like, you know, you look up
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: to her so much and you just want her to
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: like be around and just like love you back the
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: way you love her and like constantly chasing her. And
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: it hurt. It hurt really really bad. And I mean
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: I used to cry about it like every night as
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: a kid, but I just now, you know, I I
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: don't want to ever, like you know, as an adult,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: you just kind of get more mature about it. And
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: it's like I don't want to make my dad feel
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: discredited because you know, like I feel so bad. I
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: was always crying about my mom to my dad and
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: he's over there doing everything for me, and so I
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: don't know because I feel guilty about that. So um
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: now I just like sing his prices and you know,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: he's like my best little buddy. I love that man.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: How was it being raised by a father during your
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: teenage years when it came to dating, body changes and
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: all that? I definitely just kept it all to myself. Um.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I didn't really date that much. Like I would have
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: like two week long little boyfriends that I would just
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: see in the hallway or something. I didn't really date
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: anyone seriously. Um, And honestly, I was kind of uh,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I was not a very good person in high school
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: because I would just they called me heartbreak Demi because
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I would just like talk to a guy for two
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: weeks and then I was like, Okay, I'm over it,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: and then I'm like, who's the next one? Who's the
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: next one? And I don't know why I did that,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: but it was cruel. Um. I think I just like
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I was into like the chase, and then once the
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: chase was over, I was like, Okay, like next next chase,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: because I mean, I mean, it's a terrible, terrible way
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: to be and I know that and I would never
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: do that now. Um. But I think it was just
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: kind of like liking the attention, and I knew that
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I wasn't going to really like hang out with them
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: probably outside of school that much, because I you know,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I my dad probably wouldn't be too cool with it
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: unless he knew the guy. And then I was always
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: doing volleyball stuff and it was kind of just like
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I liked crushing on people. Um, but I definitely hurt
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: some people along the way, and that's you know, I'll
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: have guilt about that forever. Did you have a mother
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: figure at all during those high school years? Did your
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: dad ever remarry? Yes? So, whenever I was thirteen, my
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: dad started dating this woman, Bobby, And she was the
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: best thing that ever happened to us. Uh, she's incredible.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: They're still together and everything. Um, she definitely helped me
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: be like more girly and stuff because I was like
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: a total tom boy because I was just growing up
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: with my dad and my brother and I was like
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: my dad would try his best, you know, but I
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: was I don't. I always wanted to like wear my
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: brother's clothes and stuff. Like I was just a total tomboy.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Um and so like she definitely girled me up and
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: like loves me so so much. Like it's so cool.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: She just took me in as her own, like she
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: fully believes I am her daughter, and like she is
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: like my mother, Like she was my mom ever since
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I was thirteen. What did that do for you? I
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: mean to have a thirteen like to have that woman
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: walk into your life. It was awesome, Like I finally
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: got to have like a motherly figure and got to
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: have like somebody to like talk to, like you know,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: girly stuff with and like uncomfortable conversations I don't want
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: to talk to my dad about, you know. Um I
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: really needed it. And then she has like this amazing
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: family too, and all like I love all of them,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: they love all of me. They took us right in
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: as well. It was very like healing. You mentioned playing
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: with boys hearts in high school. When did you realize
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: you were interested in possibly men and women? Um? I
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I kind of like had like whenever I was little,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: like you know, whenever you're a young kid and you
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: start playing on the computer and you're looking at things
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: you shouldn't be looking at. I was like looking at
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: naked women, and I was interested in it and I
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: liked I liked it. And uh that's was probably like
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: fifth grade maybe started that, and but not much and
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: then uh, it all started with because one time I
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: went to demi dot com, like just went to it
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: and it was like a porn site and I didn't
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: know obviously, and it gave me so many viruses. But
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, I wouldn't go to my name.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: And then I was like, hum, that was interesting. I
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: didn't mind that. Um. And so then in seventh grade
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: there was like a rumor that went around that because
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: it bullies that I liked girls, and everyone was like
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: making fun of me, and like what is it called?
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: Is it called? It is ostracizing the right word whenever
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: you sure, yeah, it works okay, um, and like you know,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: it was just torture, and so I was like, no,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't like whatever. And then that
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: kind of just like I don't even know who started that,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: so weird. But then that just kind of like went away,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, if you like, nobody nobody
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: knows about that, Like it kind of just everyone forgot
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: about it. Um. And then I just kind of like
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I thought about it a lot, but I always thought
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: it was wrong because that's just you know, it's a
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: different day and age now. Back then it was less okay,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: especially like me, little church girl, like that wouldn't have
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: been chill at the church. Now, I'm sure probably is fine,
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: but I was scared, you know, I didn't want to
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: even entertain the thought, so watched a bunch of girl
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: on girl porn through high school and stuff, and then
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: made my first like move or like acted on it
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: my freshman year of college. And it was funny because
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: it was with a girl. We were in college, but
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: like we went to school together one year and whenever
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: we were like in sixth grade or something, and I
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: was like, hey, funny seeing you here. What was it
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: like when when you first realized it? So, you know,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: you watched uh you know, the videos and you want
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: look the pictures and it was intriguing you. But when
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: did you realize, like when did it hit you? Oh,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I'm actually into women as well? Um. I think it
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: was like the first, like the very first time I
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: like kissed a girl and not like drunk kissed a
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: girl at a party, but like intimately kissed a girl.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know, it was crazy, like fireworks
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: in my stomach. I was like, oh my gosh, I
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: loved that. So is that your freshman year? Yeah? Okay,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: what was your first kiss with the boy? Uh? Seventh grade?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Did you have fireworks there? No? Well no I did. Uh.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: It was just I think about like the first, you know,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: the first time you ever make out. You're like, I've
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: never made out with anyone, Like I don't know what
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: to do, and I like made out this kid and
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: it was just a terrible makeout and so it was
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: just awkward. But like I think that I honestly like
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: my first kiss with the boils like three the first time.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I like a little three year old boyfriend. I like
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: to call my kindergarten kiss my first kiss too, instead
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: of the nineteen year old kiss. Um, you call yourself
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: the queer queen. You know you're you're a queer queen
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: in paradise. Can you tell our audience with the difference
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: between buy fluid and queer as So I call myself
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: a queer queen. And what I mean by like queer
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: is that like I know that I'm different, I know
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: that I'm not the norm. And then sexual fluidity is
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: like you're flowing either way. You know you are gonna
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: change your mind, however you're feeling like whatever your desires are,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: your sexuality flows with that. It's never like constant or
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: like consistent, like flowing around. And then like gender fluidity
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: is the same concept, except you're just fluid and flowing
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: with like whatever gender you're feeling like whatever you're identifying as,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: like you know, that day or that whatever. It's just
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: flowing back and forth and maybe flowing forth for a
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: while and back a little in whatever, just fluid um.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: And then bisexual is being attracted to both men and women?
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Do you think that was? And you identify as? You know,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I don't. I guess, like this is so hard for
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: me because like I don't really know what to identify as.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: I guess you could say bisexual, But that doesn't mean
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: that I wouldn't date a trans person, because I would,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: you know, like or someone who doesn't want to identify
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: as any gender. Like I would be open to dating
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: anybody if I had a connection with them. So that's
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: why I just kind of say queer because I'm like
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: just not the norm, like whatever. Okay, So you being
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: queer never came up on Colton season? Why was that?
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: I was embarrassed and ashamed and I didn't want to
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: like weird the girls out or something, you know. Uh,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I just wasn't ready to come out. Honestly, did did
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: anybody know, like any of the producers in any anybody? Yeah,
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: some of the producers knew, Um, like towards the end
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: of it, and then like my closest friends knew, Like
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I'm sure, I'm sure I told Hannah at some point, Um,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: but I probably, like you know, just kind of try
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: to do it casually, like, oh, yeah, I've dated women before.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: She's like what damny, Uh, your mom got out of
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: prison for the second time while you're filming The Bachelor
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: and you were all the way in Asia. How did
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: it feel not being able to Would you normally have
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: seen her when she got out of prison? Now that
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: we see that this is like a thing that she's
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: done a couple of times, Like would you normally go
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: and see her right away? Or was the phone call
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: kind of like pretty much what you would do? Um?
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: As the like years go on and I get older
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: and older, I definitely have seen her less and less
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: if like the right thing to do would have been
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: to go and see her, you know, Um, it just
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: wasn't convenient for me, And I just was like a
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: little bit selfish about it at this point, just because
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: it's like it hurts, Like there's so many emotions, like
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: seeing her every time, it's like just so emotional, and
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: it's just really hard. It's really draining, and so I
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: was in such like a fun place, you know, like
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I was coming off the Bachelor, like you know, my
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: life is completely changing, like the show is about to air,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: and I didn't want to feel those negative feelings, Like
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to like live in what my life
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: it was then like and what i'd like you know,
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: done for myself and like and just kind of like
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: relish in the joy and like the excitement and not
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: like be bummed out by this emotional trauma. And uh,
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I guess kind of just like avoiding it though, is
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: really not the right thing to do, and it would
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: have taken a lot less out of me, out of
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: my life and like myself than like it. How do
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: I say that? Right? Like it would have cost me
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: less then like the amount I would be giving her,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Like I would be giving her such an amazing thing.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: She would have loved to have seen me, That's all
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: she wanted. She wants to see me, and it I
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: should have done the right thing and like immediately gone.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I just chose to be selfish in that moment, and
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I feel guilty about it, um, but I mean I
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: don't know. I try to do what I can. I
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: like have a little video calls with her now my brother,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's talking to her at all, which
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: makes me sad because I know she's sad. It's just
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: like a lot of emotions to take in. There's and
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I feel them so strongly, Like I I feel for
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: her because she's she knows that she's like sucking up,
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: and she knows that she's not doing what she's supposed
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: to be doing. She knows that she wasn't there for us,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: you know, growing up, and she's done a lot of
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: people wrong, and I know she has like so much
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: guilt for that, and like probably a lot of like
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: self hatred and stuff and depression. And it's just like
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: taking on all those emotions and like thinking about it
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: even it's it like makes me want to cry, it
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: makes me hurt. It's just it's a lot. Do you
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: take on those emotions personally? Yeah, But that's kind of
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: why I like avoid thinking about it a lot or
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: like talking about it a lot. Like it's because it
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: it does weigh on me like so much, Like I
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: take them in so much, and I get so worried
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: about her, and I feel for her, and like, you know,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: I just like I don't know what to do to help,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: and I you know, I could be angry and I
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: could like, you know, blame her and all this stuff,
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: but it everybody in her life is angry with her
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: always and hurt by her and disappointed, and like she
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: just I think what she needs for me is just
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: like I'm never going to be mad at you. I
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: love you, and all I'm gonna like give you his
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: love and forgiveness. M Well, speaking of forgiveness, Um, Demi,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: I would love to talk to you just a few minutes,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: if you're okay with it, about your faith and what
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: role that plays in your life. Now. I think it's
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: super would be super interesting for me and the listeners.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Are you good with that? Okay? Perfect? Well, hey, let's
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: take a break. When we come back, let's talk to
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Demmy about her faith, growing up in a conservative household
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: and where that stands today. We'll be back with Demmy
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Burnett on the Almost Famous in depth. We're back with
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Demi Burnette. Demi, you had mentioned at the very beginning
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: how much of a rural faith and a church community
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: played in your life, and uh, I can relate with that, right,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: that is something that I hold very dear to my heart.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: People of the podcast definitely know that they're sick of
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: me talking about it. So I'm not going to get
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: into my own personal beliefs, but I do want to
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: hear from you on what role now church plays in
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: your life, knowing that for so much of it it
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: was it was a three day a week thing. As
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: you said, Um, yeah, so I haven't even been to
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: church since I graduated high school. I don't think, Um,
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: and it wasn't. It's like it's because I just like
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: don't know, and I have this thing where I am
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: like if so I grew up in a Baptist church,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: it was they were wonderful people. I had great memories
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: church camp, you know all that stuff, a lot of
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: great friends from there. And I I didn't like going
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: just because it was like, Okay, we always have to
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: go to church and you gotta be quiet there and
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: it's like boring as a kid and whatever. But there
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: was a lot of times where I really really was
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: into it and I like loved going and I like
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: loved like worshiping and like all of this stuff. I
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: loved it. Um, it would be like a post summer
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: camp high because like we would go to a church
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: camp and it was it was so fun. It was
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: amazing and like a bunch of and they made it
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: so fun at church camp, and so you know, you
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: would come back and everyone was like, yeah, we're like
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: super into this now, and like, uh, I got a
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: lot of really great friendships from it and a lot
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: of you know, good life lessons and stuff. What I
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: have a like what I struggle with getting on board
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: with with church, like with picking a religion or picking
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: a faith is because if there you know, because who
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: am I to say this is what's actually the truth,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: this is what is right? Because there's millions of people
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: that are believe a thousand million percent that their faith
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: is right. So like how do I how can I
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: be like no, minds right, you know, like no, this
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: is what happened. But at the end of the day, too,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I want to find some kind of faith because I
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: know that, you know, it's not necessarily about like maybe
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: like a logically making sense out of all of it
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: and like trying to like scientifically prove how this could
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: be real. I think it's more like a good feeling
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: and like, you know, a good way to like direct
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: your life and like keep you on track and you
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: know and like hold you to a standard and it
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: feels good to like believe in something. I mean, would
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: you say then, because as a Baptist, if anybody's listening
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: and they don't know exactly what that means, it's it
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: is more conservative, super conservative, more fundamental in nature, so
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: they would not be uh the church it is uh
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: liberal and thought thought at all. Baptists would stay more conservative.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: And I don't say liberal and conservative politically, like this
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: is more in terms of like socially, um, but they
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: do believe in Jesus, so Jesus is at the core
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: of uh it's a Christian church. So, uh do you
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: miss Jesus? Like what world does Jesus then play in
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: your life today? Um? I think like, yeah, I missed Jesus,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: like I missed that relationship and like that feeling like
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: you know that there's something out there that like has
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: your back and wants the best for you, like no
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: matter what, and like unconditionally loves you. Um. I think
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: it's really it's sweet and it's comforting. Um. I guess
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I just kind of avoid thinking about it at all
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: because I feel guilty because it's like, you know, raised
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: my whole life fully believing in this, like full fledged
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: no doubts, and then doubting as an adult and like
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: just avoiding it. Uh. I don't know. It's scary because
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: it's a part of me is like maybe there's nothing
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: out there. Then there's part of me that's like maybe
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: there is, and you're betraying them right now and you're
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: going to burn in hell. It's like it's so I'm
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: just like, Okay, I'm not going to think about that,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: I guess, and I'll just figure it out along the way,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: and you know, maybe one day, like not I don't
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: want anything like bad to happen to me, but like,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll just like find faith one day,
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: or like you know, find so you know, I go
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: go to church with somebody or like learn about another
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: religion and like I feel really drawn to that, and
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'm like, oh aha, this is it.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: This is what I want to put like all of
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: my energy into and like fully believe this or maybe not,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know, Um, I really would like to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: like have a faith and believe in something whole wholeheartedly.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: I'm just your stories your story is not like abnormal, right,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm sure there's people out there listening right now,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: going yeah, like shaking their heads like this is demmis
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: speaking my life into me right now. So I just
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: appreciate you sharing it. Um. It's interesting to me just
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: to you know, to hear kind of how past go
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: different directions, both good in their own ways. But thanks
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: for sharing. I know it's not always easy to talk about,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: and I'm sure there is some like you know, thoughts
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: that come into your head as you're even speaking about it, um,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: that do make you feel guilty. But I don't ask
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: you that to make you feel gilty. I'm just in yeah,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: no worries. I like that you're pushing me a little
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: out of my comfort zone. I like it speaking of
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: being out of your comfort zone. Colton says in his
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: book that you took him out of his comfort zone
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: and that you, especially that first week or two, was
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: someone that he couldn't really picture developing a romantic relationship with.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: How do you feel looking back on your relationship with Colton? Um?
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I think it's funny. I think it's really funny. Um.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: I really liked pushing him out of his comfort zone because,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: like you know, he's so sweet and gentle and I
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: don't know. I was just having fun with it, Like
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I loved making him squirm and be like what are
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: you doing next? Like what is dem we going to
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: torture me with tonight? Um? I was really just having
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: a lot of fun with it, and um it did
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: like take a serious turn for me. Uh and that
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: was uncomfortable. But I think it's because you're in that
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: environment and like all you're doing is thinking about Colton
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Underwood for seven and you've got people telling you like
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: you have to like, you know, you need to show
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: him that you're serious and like all this stuff, like
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: you need to, you know, make sure he knows how
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: you feel. And like, I don't know, it's just a
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: lot of like in your head and you're just like, gosh,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: maybe you're right. Maybe I maybe I do really like
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: this guy. Maybe I am falling in love with this guy.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: And then you get home and you're like, yeah, I'm
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: not sad at all about him. I miss my friends.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: That's how I feel like anyone who's not top four
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: goes back. I'm feeling when you say that it took
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: a turn. Was that when you had the first phone
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: cam with your mom with Colton on the phone with you. Yeah,
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: it's definitely around then. Um, everything was getting emotional to like,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: and then you kind of start getting like insecure because
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: you're like, wow, girls are dwindling down. I've been really
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: confident every week that i'd still be here, and I'm
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: kind of starting to second guess it because I don't know,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like we're having these really deep, meaningful conversations. Um,
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: and so then you know, those insecurities for me just
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: kind of make me emotional, and then I start feeling
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: vulnerable and then I start freaking out and yeah, then
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: my whole personality disappears, and I'm just a wreck. You
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: were you basically told you can't talk to your mom
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: unless Colton to the phone with you. Um, no, well
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: maybe we're gonna maybe maybe I was. I can't really
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: remember because was just sad. I was like crying because
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: they told me that they got ahold of her and
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: so I was just like crying and I was just
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: really excited. So I don't really remember how the conversation
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: went down, and I probably was a little tips a
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: little tipsy. So you leave Colton, he dumps you after
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: you say I love you. I want not affect you?
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Did that affect you more than just a couple of days. Yeah,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: I was shot to the ego and then the whole
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: world how to watch me get rejected? It was terrible,
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: but it it definitely just made me feel rejected ultimately,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: and like the embarrassment of being dumped does not outweigh
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: like the like hurt in my heart of like wow,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: somebody doesn't want me, like you know, And and at
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: that point in my life, like I had been in
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: a lot of like short lived like flings and relationships
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: and things and like where guys ended up not wanting me,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: and it just doesn't feel good at all. And it um,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: it's embarrassing to watch, but it's it's also like still
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: to this day, whenever I watch it, I feel emotional,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: I feel hurt. Like it's like I can just put
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: myself right back there and feel that pain of like rejection,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: like rejection, I don't know, it's one of the biggest
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: things that hurts me. Yeah, how how do I say this?
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: De me? We want again? We started this podcast out
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Demmi Burnett is somebody that we think of, we think
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: of funny and quirky, and I think back in the
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: day you you confronted me on it. But I think
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: I called you like the lovable past Um that like
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: was just always like getting into people and but like
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: you're lovable at the same time. I don't know how
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: you do that. That's still beyond me. Um. But what
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: I'm learning right now after hearing this, and this is
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: unexpected for me, is that like you feel everything, yeah,
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: very intensely. How am how am I as a fan
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: of you supposed to process your story? Then that's been
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: a part of your childhood now through the show. If
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: I watch you, and I'm assuming this is how you
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: are in real life as like this funny pest like
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: friend that you love and that you just went around
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: because you always are doing You're always down for anything.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: But yet if I really got to know you, I
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: would see that you feel everything. Yeah, Um, what is
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: your question? So how am I supposed to know? Like?
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: How am I supposed to process that? After seeing your
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: story play out on the show? Like how am I
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: supposed to process your Bachelor experience and moving into Bachelor
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: in Paradise Because that was a huge thing for you too, obviously, Um,
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: seeing one side of you on TV, but knowing behind
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: the scenes, there was a deep, deep hurt feelings and
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: feelings as a fan, like people that are fans of me,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: what they can like take away from this story and
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: like learning all this stuff about me is just learning
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: that people are complex and just because like you see
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: somebody and you think, oh, they must have had the
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: best life ever. They're so happy, they're so funny, they're
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: like even kind of like you know, a little pesti
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: or whatever. Uh, they could have a whole other side
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: of their life and be like, you know, sometimes I
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm two different people. Like I have like
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: my deep, vulnerable, emotional feeling side that is a huge
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: part of me, and then I have this side of
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: me that just wants to have fun and make fun
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: of my friends and you know, just goof around. It's
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: just like people are complex and like have some forgiveness
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: and like understanding about other people, Like don't just assume
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: things about people. UM, get to know people better, like
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: and give I don't know, give them, give people a chance.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: That's what we're doing this. This is exactly why we're
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: sitting here. This is why I love this so much.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: Is going to know you really cool? I like this. Yeah,
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: we are I am eating up every word you're telling us.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: So now, can you tell us about the time that
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: you met Christian off the show and how fast did
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: that relationship evolved into a romantic one. Yeah. Um, so
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: I met Christian at Catherine Agro's house. Um, I was
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: in l A for something bachelor related and then I, um,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: we were just friends, Like she was really cool. Then
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: I just I think I stayed there maybe one night,
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: and then I flew home, and then I came back
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: the next time and was hanging out with her again.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: And the first night we were hanging out, uh, we
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: it's just started making out like by the hot tub,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: and then we just kind of like started spending every
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: time I was in l A. Like I'd spend time
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: with her. Um, and it was just like really easy
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: and really comfortable and like yeah, I mean it went
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: it went pretty fast. But like it wasn't ever. It
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: wasn't ever. Um, like there was no title on it,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: there was no rules. Yeah, it wasn't wasn't official, and
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: I made it clear that like I had plans and
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: like we were like having fun. I mean it was
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: definitely emotional like two but um, yeah, like she knew
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: what it was, and like, yeah, what do you say
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: to the fans that think that you should have stayed
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: and pursued a relationship with her off camera since you
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: were so emotionally involved. Um, I understand that. I could
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: see why people would say that obviously, Like I get
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: that side of it. I didn't want to leave. I
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: wanted to you know, have my free vacation and like,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: you know, not have my phone, so like I could
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: focus on our relationship too, because it's so much different
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: in the real world. And like, I don't know, I
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: liked being there and I liked, uh having people talking
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: to me about my relationship to like producers and stuff
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: like maybe helping me make sense of things. Like I
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: had a really great producer and he would just tell me, like,
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: you're being an a and I'd be like, okay, thank you,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: because like I would try to justify it if I
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: were in the real world, you know, like I would
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: find some way to be like, well, I'm being an
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: asshole because she's doing this, because this is like, you know,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: instead of just me like I need to just change
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: the way I'm thinking because I'm being a jerk. Um.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: So yeah, it was nice to have that help and
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: that guidance through your relationship. A lot of fans got
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: angry at Bachelor production for bringing Christian into Paradise for you.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: They said it was one of those few times where
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: they actually felt that the producers were meddling with a
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: relationship and they felt that was obvious. How do you
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: respond to that? I mean, they it it's true, Like
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, they brought her into paradise and they totally
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: like made that happen, and so like, yeah, I'm sorry,
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Like I I don't think, like it's not it's hard
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: because like I'm biased on it. Um, Like I didn't
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: think that that was that important, like that little detail.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Like I thought what was important was like sharing like
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: our relationship and like our love story and stuff like that,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: and being able to see like you know, I like
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: being able to see me actually like loving somebody and
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: like wanting to like be with somebody. Uh, like outweighs
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: the minor detail that they did bring in an outsider,
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: but I totally get it. They're they're justified and like
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: feeling angry about that, Like I get it, and I
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: apologize for like you know, being there, but like whatever,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, they were making TV at any costs. I guess,
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: like you know, from my knowledge, I actually tell from
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: a wrong This is the first time we've seen a
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: same sex couple on the Bachelor franchise right now in
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: the US. I think that they've had in other countries
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: in the U. S Okay, how I mean, how did
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: you get to the point did me to be a
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: trailblazer here? Like? How? What? When did it click? I'm
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: going to be the first and I'm okay with this? Um? Well,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: it was really uncomfortable. Um but like I don't know,
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: I was just like I was ready. I was ready
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: to talk about it, like I didn't do it on
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: the Bachelor, and there was like you know, hiding it,
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: and like having this secrecy was like really getting to
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: me because it was like what if people find out
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: not from me, Like I want people to know from
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: me first, like you know, out of my mouth. I
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: don't want someone to take that away from me because
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: this is like my story and this is my life.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: So I I've been you know, seeing Christian beforehand, and
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: like then we started like filming Paradise stuff and I
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: was like, well, like let me like tell the world
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: about this because like you know, it's relevant right now
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: to me, Like I actually am seeing like a woman
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: right now and stuff. So it's like perfect, I'm like
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: in the in the vibe of it and everything, you know,
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: and I'm ready to like not hide it anymore. And yeah,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: and then it just it was the most emotional thing ever.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: Like I was so scared. I was scared of like
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: what my parents were gonna say, you know, how they
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: were going to respond, and then my grandparents and like
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: all this conservative family that I have, and uh, that
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: was probably the scariest thing. Like the world. I was like,
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: the world will probably be pretty accepting of it, because
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: that's where we're at in this day and age. But
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: it's like I don't know about my conservative family members,
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: who like their opinions matter to me and I value them,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know what they're gonna think of me,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to disappoint them or embarrass them.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: But like with coming out with this, so it was
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: really scary. The other contestants, of course, aren't allowed to
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: bring in relationships from home and date in Paradise. But
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: you say, and I think I agree with you, and
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: this is what I defended you about. When the show
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: is airing. Is there was really no other way to
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: introduce the same sex couple onto the show then honestly
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: manipulating it a little bit and bringing someone in from
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: the real world. So is that what you're saying, Like
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: it was the importance should override the unfairness to the
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: other contestants. Yeah, definitely, I mean that's what I think.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not you know, I don't want to try to
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: change anyone's opinion on it or whatever. I just that's
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: what I think. And it's kind of like, let's just
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: get over it and just like be happy and like
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: celebrate the fact that we got to see two women
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: like fall in love with each other. Right, Okay, Well,
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: you guys doing fall in off and you get engaged
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: at the end of the show. And I feel like
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: a lot of people were wondering watching it, if you
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: continue to date in the real world over that summer
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: and not in Paradise, would you guys have ever gotten
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: serious enough to the point that you would get engaged?
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: No way, probably not, definitely not Okay? So then what
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: went wrong? You did get engaged? Um? As actually just mentioned,
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: how did it end? Um? Not good? Definitely not good. Um,
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: She's Christian is very, very loving and she's like the
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: best girlfriend, the best partner to be with. She would
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: do anything for you. And um, I didn't reciprocate that
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: I wasn't that I wasn't as good to her as
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: she was to me. I was kind of distant. Um,
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: I was overwhelmed. I was freaked out, you know, I
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: was scared and like going through you know, all of
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: my family and like everyone finding out about um, like
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: you know, me being open to anything, liking girls, liking boys,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: liking whatever. That was stressing me out. And I had
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: a lot of family that was not a lot, but
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: a couple people in my family like badgering me, texting
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: me with how disappointed they were and all this stuff.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: And I don't know, like I I don't know. I
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: just I wasn't. I wasn't in it anymore. I wasn't.
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: I wasn't in it, and she was so in it
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: and she was so good to me, And like that
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: would make me feel guilty because I was like, I'm
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: not feeling the same anymore, and like I feel bad
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: that I don't feel the same anymore, because like I
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: made a commitment to you, and like I feel like
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: a garbage human being and uh, yeah, I just it
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: was really like sucking with me and like I was
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: speaking with her and that wasn't fair to her. She
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: deserved way better than me, and like I wanted to
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: be with her more than anything, and like I kept trying,
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: and I kept trying, and like I just wasn't I
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: wasn't feeling it anymore, like I wasn't feeling like I
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: was before. Like I don't know it went away. I
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: probably let it get away because I was so in
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: my head and dealing with other things that were going on,
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: and I missed my friends. You know, I didn't see
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: my friends that much anymore, like I would try to,
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: and I was always worried about like hurting her feelings
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: and stuff. And I just don't think that I was
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: anywhere near ready for what I signed myself up for,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: and like what I did, and I feel terribly about it,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: Like I wish I could go back and do it better,
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, treat her way better and
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: like she deserves because she deserves way better than what
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: I gave her. Um And yeah, I mean she's she's
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: in a new relationship now and she looks so happy
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: and so that makes me very happy. I just feel
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: really bad that I was that person I had become
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: in the relationship. You know, how rocky was your relationship
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: when she proposed back to you on the reunion show,
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: And did that just make you a little bit irritated
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: that she did that maybe as like a saving grace,
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: the last ditch effort, you know, I don't. I it
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: definitely made me angry, but I think it like irritated.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: And I think that made me irritated because, um, I'm like,
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, no, not kind of. I'm a
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: selfish person sometimes and like that was like my thing,
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: you know. I was like I proposed to you, like
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: you know, and then I was like why, like why
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: why did you do it? Like that makes no sense?
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: Like that was you know, people don't propose to each
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: other like that normally. Like I don't know, I was
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: being a bit about it. Essentially. I was just irritated
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: about the situation. And I was just oh, and like
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: I'm such a brat, Like I didn't like the ring
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: at all, and so I was just yeah, so you know,
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: I was just a brat, and um, I was being
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: braddy about it and just irritated Uh, in general, because
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: like once once I start, you know, you start not
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: to feel it with somebody, you kind of get irritable
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: with everything they do. Uh. So I mean I feel
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: really really bad about that too, because it was a
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: really nice, sweet gesture and I like made her probably
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: feel like, you know, she shouldn't have done it or
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: made her feel bad about it, and like that's so
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: not fair. Mhm, de me um. Let's take a break
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: here once again. I know a life's been crazy post
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: breakup with Christian. A little recap. You have a new boyfriend. Uh,
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: you've made some good friends in Bachelor Nation. Uh. We've
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: still got a lot more to talk about, but we
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: appreciate you so far. We'll be back on the Almost
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Famous in depth podcast with Demi Burnett. We're back on
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: the Almost Famous podcast with Demi Burnette. We've sat down
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: with Demi so far and she's just shared some some
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: just really amazing things to us. It's it's been complex
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: and complex and like a good healthy way. I'm saying
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: that because we all have stories and Dimmi reminded us earlier,
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: probably the coolest thing to me that I'll take away
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: from this is you saying that people are just complex
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: in our stories are complex. I think that's just a
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: really beautiful reminder to me. So thank you for that. Um.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: Did We've talked about a lot of heavy stuff kind
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: of I think so far, so we're gonna pick it
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: up a bit and know life's really good for you
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: right now, at least I think it is. But you've
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: also made some made some friends and bachelination. You've made
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: the headlines many times for your friendship with Nick Vile.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: Where did that come from? Like, how did that happen?
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: What was your relationship? Um? So, I was a huge
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: Nick fan. I loved his season of The Bachelor. I
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: was like obsessed with him. Um. I remember telling Ashley
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: that the first time she interviewed me, Uh, it was funny. Um.
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: And so then he asked me to be on his
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: podcast and I was like freaking out. I was so excited. UM.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: And then we just kind of like developed this like
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: brother sister relationship. Like he always was like looking out
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: for me, and he like, you know, helps me out
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: in the industry. Like he's you know, I got to
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: go to the Golden Globes because of him. Uh. He's
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: just a really good friend to me and like, we
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: always just make sure that we like look out for
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: each other because I know that we both do controversial
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: things and you know, a lot of people don't like him,
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: a lot of people don't like me. Uh, and so
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: we just have each other's back. Um. Yeah, it's always
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: been strictly, strictly friendship. We've never ever done anything. Um.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: I've definitely asked him to make out with me once
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: and he said no, what to feel, like, what you
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: needed that? I had? We ate, uh dim sum or something,
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: and then I was like drunk off a wine. I
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: was like, I wanted my gout and He's like, no,
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: get out of the car. The only place you go
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: to eat with with Nick would be dim Zum. That's
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: where he takes all this front where he takes everyone,
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: takes everyone there. I know. It's so funny. We all
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: joke about it, like me and all of his other friends.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you go to dim Sum with Nick recently?
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: Is that good? It's good. It's not that good. It's
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: like it's weakly dim sum. He loves it. I want
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: to ask you about being a representative for the just
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: the whole l g pt q Q community when it
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: comes to the franchise. How has that felt. Are there
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: any really special stories that you have to share about
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: breaking down that barrier for the show? Um? You know,
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: at first it felt really crazy and overwhelming, but now
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: you know, it just kind of feels like normal. And
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: also I don't really do anything with like the Bachelor
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: franchise much recently, you know, Like, uh, I feel like
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: ever since I got a boyfriend not in Bachelor Nation,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: that you just don't want anything to do with me. Um.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: But I I can't really say, like, I don't even
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: know how I feel about it, Like honestly, I I
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: don't know what to think. The only thing that I
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: will say, like, I do feel proud because of I've
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: had people come up to me with their stories about like,
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: you know, one time, this mother came up to me
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: at Dancing with the Stars and she said her daughter
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: came out to her because of me, and she was crying,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: Like this mother's crying in front of me, and like
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: that was just like so moving, and I was just
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: so proud that I was able to do that for
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: somebody out there. And there's been like a lot of
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: stories that are similarly d m s. People thanking me
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that. So it feels really good that
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: I can make people feel comfortable with something that is
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: like one of the most uncomfortable, hardest things to do
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: in the world. That is awesome. Um, there have been
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of fans who wanted you to be the Bachelorette.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: How do you feel like they would have casted that
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: kind of season if you were in a relationship right now,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: which we'll get to you in a minute. And um,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: how could they integrate more LGBTQ people into the franchise?
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: You think? You know? I don't know what they would
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: have done. I know what people would have wanted as
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: like half guys half girls, um, which I mean that
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: would have been super fun. I would have loved that. Um.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: But then they bring up the issue of them hooking
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: up with each other, uh and stuff like that, which
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: is like, okay, yeah, maybe that that would happen too.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: So I don't, I don't know what they could do.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: I think about it a lot. Um, I just I don't.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know how they could do it. I I
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: don't have that. I need a team. I need a
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: whole team of people to help me come up with that. Well,
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: you won't be the Bachelor at anytime soon, because we
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: got Claire Knacks. And you are in a relationship with
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: a new guy, Slater, Yes, that's him. How did you
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: guys meet? Um? One day Katie texted me and Katie said, Hey,
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: do you want to go to lunch with me and
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: my friends? And I was like, yeah, sure, And so
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: I go up to the car and I opened the
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: door and there is Slater and my I couldn't even breathe.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: I was like, what the hell, Katie, you didn't tell
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: me this dude was super hot Um, and we like
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: hung out all day. We went to eat because Katie
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: and him have been friends for years, so it's like
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: me and him, Katie and this other guy t K
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: and we went to go eat. Then we went to
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: the mall. Then we went and got like Gin and Tonics.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: Then we went back to Slater's mom's house here in Calabasas,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: and then we um drank wine and we made a
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: TikTok and then we hooked up and then I have
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: been with him every night since then. You are literally
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: quarantined with your new boyfriend and your boyfriend's a family's house.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: How do you go from that early stage of dating
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: to every single waging moment together. I don't know, because
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: it's it's so crazy because I'm not normally like this.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: I don't I can't really handle this much time with anybody.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: But he just has such a unique personality and he's
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: just so fun and I just love being around in
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: my love just watching him because he just interests the
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: out of me, Like he's just the most fascinating person.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: And his family is incredible. I met his mom the
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: first night that we met, obviously, um, and she's just
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: a rock star mom. And then he has his sisters.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: So it's just I don't know. I would have never
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: imagined I could be doing this because this kind of
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: thing would really intimidate me. Um, But it just like,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it just kind of happened, like we
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: just got so close and then now I'm so close
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: with his family and it's I don't know, it's the
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: craziest thing. It sounds like insane and unhealthy, which it
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: might be a little bit unhealthy, but UM, I don't know.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have it any other way. How's it going
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: so far? What's it like living with his family? Um,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: it's great, Like I get along with that. He went
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: super well, the person I probably get like, don't get
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: along with all the time. It's just later because you know,
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: you just start having stupid little bickers. Um. But yeah,
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: I mean it's it's so much fun. Like his sister
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: and me, we have so much fun together, like both
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: of his sisters as older sisters, like my new bestie,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: when you just hang out all the time and just
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: do stupid together, like just get drunk or whatever we
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: want to do. And then we like we started this
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: new thing where we're having like theme nights. So the
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: other day we did like a Gatsby theme night, and
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't really expect like everyone to participate, but everyone
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: did and it was so cool and it was so
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: much fun. Um. Yeah, everyone's very very chill, like a
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: you know how sometimes you're around people and you're like, oh,
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: I gotta like watch myself around them, you know, and
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: like gotta like filter yourself and everything. Not here, like
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: everyone's accepting of everything, no filters needed. Uh, It's just
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: it's great. It's very very relaxed. So good. That's awesome.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: I'm with my I'm with my fiance's family as well,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: so I know it can be a test and it's
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: it's actually been great for us too. So yeah, well, hey,
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: that's you know what, Tommy. We just did like a
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: wild run through your whole Well, I know those things
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: we skipped like most of your life to this point.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: That is a wild ride, Demi. I I love this
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: part of the podcast. Uh, since we've gone through everything,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: it's now your term to turn to take the stage.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: There's people out there listening that are just huge fans
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: of you and they love you dearly, and Ashley and
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: I are to those people. We're gonna give you like
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: thirty seconds to a minute here, Uh, to just give
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: the fans a message before Ashley takes it away with
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: her famous rapid fire questions, Demi, what would you want
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: to tell your fans right now? I would want to
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: tell my fans that I love them. I think it's
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: crazy that I even have fans. It's unbelievable still to me,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: I never thought that i'd be here. And I love
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: how supportive they are to me and how loyal they
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: are to me. And even whenever I doubt myself or
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm feeling kind of low or something like,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: they're always there to reassure me. Like if I'm intimidated
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: by a situation. I have my fans that are like,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: you know, like me starting a podcast, and my fans
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: are like, oh my gosh, you has We've been waiting
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: for this best part of like the quarantine, like you know,
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: like this is what we need right now in uh.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: And so it's nice to get reassurance. And so I
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: want to thank them all for the reassurance. And I
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: want them just to you know, keep up with me
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: and play animal crossing with me, and also make sure
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: that they take time to love themselves as much as
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: they love me and the love the people around them.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: You know. I think that everybody needs a bit more
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: love right now. And yeah, but especially of mhm, thanks Tommy.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: Al Right, every ready for rapid fire m hmm. Okay,
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna start out with talking about your Instagram name,
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: Demi not Lovado. I feel like more people know you
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: as Demi not Lovado than Demi Burnett. And then Demi
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: Levado ends up becoming a good friend of yours. Can
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: you describe your friendship with Demi Lvado in two words? Um?
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, let's see, my friendship with Demi Lavado wholesome
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: fun and it was just because she was a fan
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: of the show, right, and she like wanted to date Mike,
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: and then she just kind of got chummy with you
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: guys from that season. Yeah, and then we just started
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: hanging out, Like me and Hannah went over there, and
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: then I just started going over there more often hanging
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: out with her. Then we went camping together. Uh, so
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: we all got really close going camping, and like we've
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: had like cool like you know, like healing things and
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: stuff at our house. Like it's really it's really wholesome
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: and it's uh, it's good energy. What's your favorite ice
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: cream flavor? Strawberry? Interesting. What is your favorite TV show
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: have all time? Game of Thrones? Uh, the most beautiful,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: complex storyline. I love it. What's your favorite physical feature
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: of Slater his body, Oh my gosh, and his smile.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: Your favorite scented body wash Dove coconut jasmine yea um.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: What are your thoughts of the quarantine crew? Uh? Oh,
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: Hannah and Tyler and all them looks like they're having
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: a blast. Also feels like this, you know, like the
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: random strangers that like nobody knows who they are. I'm
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: like they are I'm I'm thinking they're cloud Chaser's. They're like, oh,
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: we've got to get these TikTok's going out now. I've
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: got a hand of Brownie Tyler Cameron in the house.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: Let me ride that cloud train. That's funny. And lastly,
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: what is your favorite beauty product? Mm hmmm, probably lip gloss,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: like lipstick lip gloss brand. Um. So what I like
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: to do is I like to take this Gnars lipstick
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: in the color and the shade Barbara, and I like
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: just this is just like every every five, like every hour.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: I do this pretty much because I hate whenever my
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: lips have like no color on them, you know. So
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: I just barely dab it like on there, and then
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: I take a lip gloss and it can literally be
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: any lip glass that I have, like live lip oils,
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: They've got cheap stuff like anything, just to like put
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: a little shine gloss on there and it looks like
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: slightly natural, but it definitely makes it look so my
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: lips aren't dead perfect. Well, thank you so much, Demi. Yeah,
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: this in depth podcast was amazing. We truly got to
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: know you so much better. I'm was really nice, guys.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: It was very therapeutic. Oh good, that's what we love hearing. Yeah,
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: it's like I just went to therapy. Thanks. I mean
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: this was this was great. Um as actually said thank you.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: So hey, follow um, follow the lead here. Let's see
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: if we can do this right. Sometimes people get it
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: sometimes not just follow Ashley and I'm we did every time.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: This has been the almost Famous in Depth podcast with
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: our one of our favorite Bachelor Nation contestants, Demi Burnett.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: We'll be back again very soon with another in depth. UM.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Ashley, what do you think next two weeks?
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: We should try to come out with another next month?
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: Are you thinking within? I would say within two weeks
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: we should have another in depth. That's awesome. Hey, well
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: with that, Demi has actually said you were awesome. I've
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: been Ben, I've been Ashley. I've been Demi. We'll talk
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: you later, guys. She's been on the show before. She
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: followed the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: I our radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.