Latest / Business for Humans / Client Conversations: From Burnout to Belonging: How Intentional Choices Changed Lena’s Career
Transcript
- 0:00I'm Jamie Gennaro, business coach, consultant, and founder of Practica Consultant.
- 0:05Great. And then like I said in
- 0:06the email, it's going to be obviously super casual. You know, the podcast.
- 0:11And I'm just going to go over some of the things I mentioned in the email.
- 0:15Like I'm just, I think what's always interesting to people is the journey.
- 0:20Like nothing about me, but like what have your outcomes been?
- 0:24What reflections have you had? Just things like that. And then And we'll just see where it goes.
- 0:29But I'll make sure that I'm watching your time in about a week.
- 0:31I'm trying to taper it off. And this is one of those episodes. Yeah.
- 0:36I've set aside an hour for this. So if it goes a little bit over.
- 0:39I love it. Don't worry too much about me. I'll be fine.
- 0:42Okay. Perfect. Great. Okay. So I'm just going to jump in.
- 0:46So, Lena, thank you so much for being willing to have this conversation with the other podcast.
- 0:53Although you might find it. We worked together. If you're a business owner. When was it? Maybe this.
- 0:57Thing that happens we started could that be
- 1:00right yes i believe well actually
- 1:03i believe we started a little earlier if you're into but
- 1:07but yeah we did definitely work together up until up
- 1:10until last year there's gonna be a thing so why don't you tell everybody a little
- 1:15bit about your background and what initially and then that prompted you to reach
- 1:21out to me what you felt like you needed help with and i also think it's kind
- 1:24of fun the way that you found me because it So, like,
- 1:27kind of unique and interesting.
- 1:29So maybe just talk a little bit
- 1:31about your background and then we can talk about that little piece, too.
- 1:35So if you're an entrepreneur and you already know this, when it's in that down
- 1:41space, it's up and it's down.
- 1:44And when it's in that down space, it's really easy to just go right into those
- 1:50two family states of me and tier.
- 1:56But I would say that I'm, as a person, always been the type of person that always
- 2:01looks to sort of evolve and grow and not stay put in the same place,
- 2:06both physically but also emotionally, mentally.
- 2:10But we just go right into it. And it's interesting because worry,
- 2:15more than fear, because sometimes fear is beneficial to forward momentum.
- 2:24But worry happening in the organization, things were changing that I didn't
- 2:31experience as very positive for me.
- 2:33And overall, I think also questioning a bit where I was in my career.
- 2:38Until that point, I had felt, I think, that a lot of the places where I had
- 2:44ended up in my career had been a bit of the result of, like,
- 2:48by chance, like happy accidents.
- 2:51And while I felt that, you know, I was very grateful and happy about the places where I had gotten.
- 2:59It felt like those decisions were driven more by coincidence than intentionality.
- 3:08And I had a very good relationship with the manager I had at the time.
- 3:12And we spoke about this and how I felt like, yeah, I wasn't quite sure whether
- 3:17this was the right place or the right role for me long term.
- 3:20It meant a great deal to her and it was a gift.
- 3:23And she lost it. He was not afraid to discuss this and for me to explore this further.
- 3:30She lost a ring. And so he encouraged me to seek out some coaching.
- 3:34And I did. But I had never worked with a coach before and I honestly didn't
- 3:44know quite where to start.
- 3:46But you said that I should just go with someone that feels right.
- 3:54As a side, I'm like many other people. I enjoy pop culture and TV and movies.
- 4:01And I had been watching this particular television. this television show called
- 4:06the bear and i really really enjoyed season two i think a lot of people did
- 4:12it was a great a great a great season and was that show just had me reflecting,
- 4:20thinking about you know the great leadership lessons and as as it would have
- 4:26it at the time i was also very active on linkedin and there is a particular
- 4:30corner of linkedin if you know you You know,
- 4:33where everyone is eager to sort
- 4:36of have these inspirational posts about where to find, like, how to...
- 4:41Sort of bridging pop culture and the leadership lessons and sort of a LinkedIn context.
- 4:47And I saw all this talk about, really got in there and grabbed,
- 4:52about how, you know, leadership and TV series.
- 4:56And I didn't see anyone mentioning the bear. And I was like,
- 4:59well, if anyone, like if there's any, if there was ever a TV show that was interesting
- 5:03to talk about in terms of leadership, it should be the bear.
- 5:07And just out of curiosity, I just like typed into, I forget it was Google or
- 5:11YouTube. I was just, you know, leadership lessons, the bear.
- 5:14And there was your podcast episode.
- 5:17And I was like, listening to it and thinking, yeah, no, she really hit the nail on the head.
- 5:24And then of course I realized, oh, you also do coaching. Well, perfect.
- 5:29Maybe this is exactly what I've been looking for. and the estate would have it.
- 5:33We go straight into emotions. Yeah, it worked out. I just, I love that story
- 5:37because we go straight into self-pity.
- 5:40We go into shame. We go into guilt. We go into scarcity. We go into fear.
- 5:44We go into common place for us to be aligning on. And a lot of times we just shut down.
- 5:48And the fact that it's connected to like a TV show that we were inspired by, I just love.
- 5:52But also I tell my clients all the time, the ones that are sort of fostering
- 5:57their own business and trying to reach the right client, You can't do it without
- 6:01really connecting to people in a way that feels really true to who you are.
- 6:07And what was ironic about that podcast episode was I was so self-conscious about recording it.
- 6:12We've talked about this, but for me to like relay leadership lessons to TV shows,
- 6:17like I come from like a film and TV background.
- 6:21So I'm always looking for like the subtext and what are the writers thinking
- 6:25and where did those ideas come from? So I was truly inspired by that episode.
- 6:31I mean, mainly that one episode, but also by the whole season.
- 6:35I'm compelled to talk about it, and I just love that that was the door.
- 6:39That you walked through, which is also funny because I don't get that many people
- 6:45walking through the podcast door, but I just love it because I feel like it's
- 6:49the best way for people to really understand who I am and what my approach is.
- 6:53So I just love that story, and I love that that was our connection point because
- 6:57I think it just kind of set us up for another rest of the journey.
- 7:02So I want to talk a little bit about what you just said, what was happening with you at your job.
- 7:09So let's recap too. Like on paper, that job was pretty great.
- 7:14Like you were getting paid well. It was a company that was sort of moving at
- 7:19the time, moving in a direction that seemed exciting to you.
- 7:22There were some interesting prospects.
- 7:24And I think you knew because you're tuned in to yourself, you knew it wasn't
- 7:29quite right for you that you were looking for something else.
- 7:32And I think you used this metaphor a lot.
- 7:35I'm a farmer. I want to be able to kind of foster growth.
- 7:41And I don't feel like I have that. So I want to recap that piece.
- 7:45But it took you some time and I think this is really important to get from the,
- 7:50this job is pretty good on paper, although it doesn't feel aligned, to actually.
- 7:56Leaving that job and finding something that felt aligned because
- 8:00i think that's the moment where people have a lot of at
- 8:02the end of the year difficulty so that's sort of realizing like
- 8:05what's the risk if i leave this worry what's the risk if i stay didn't matter
- 8:10and like really managing that part in the middle is i think we're coaching to
- 8:16be helpful but it took lessen it took some time so maybe talk through that a
- 8:20little bit too that i've definitely been so.
- 8:23Yeah, I mean, there are, of course, some other factors contributing to how I
- 8:30was feeling and how I was doing at that place of work.
- 8:32It's a little bit like a warm blanket. I'm like, oh, here it is again.
- 8:35Over time, it became an increasingly more challenging place for me to thrive.
- 8:40And I knew that this wasn't the place for me to be long term.
- 8:45I knew there would be an end date.
- 8:50I just didn't know exactly when that end date was coming.
- 8:53Go into this guilt and shame to force ourselves to stop. The workload was becoming
- 8:56increasingly stressful.
- 8:59And yeah, I mean, it was taking a toll on me as well.
- 9:03And that's also then difficult because finding
- 9:07a new job and looking
- 9:10for other opportunities is something
- 9:12that requires a lot of energy and
- 9:15it requires you to have focus and have capacity
- 9:19for that for that kind of work because at
- 9:21the end of the day it is really hard work to find the
- 9:25right next plate of employment and you
- 9:28believe you have I was really grateful that I that I had you as a as a coach
- 9:34and as a sounding board because I think I was definitely reaching a point where
- 9:38I was about to be burned out and it doesn't matter that also was difficult because
- 9:44I had these ideas of people being burned out,
- 9:47being people that were juggling a million things.
- 9:51Perhaps having, you know, little children and all these other commitments outside of work.
- 9:56And I had, you know, for the first time in my adult life, really sort of stepped
- 10:03back from a lot of my other commitments outside of work.
- 10:05And I was really just focusing on work and trying to get by doing that.
- 10:10And I still felt that there wasn't enough bandwidth with the mental load and
- 10:16just the overall workload that I had on me at the time.
- 10:20And here's what's going to happen thinking that okay to
- 10:23reconnect it to real things i am
- 10:27sort of well enough and this is on paper a
- 10:30good job like i have a great salary i have
- 10:33some great colleagues in what you can
- 10:35do this this surely isn't what being
- 10:38burnt out is it's as easy as that and i and
- 10:41i sort of imagine that is an emotion being burnt out is a binary that it is
- 10:46either you're not burnt out you are burnt out emotion rather than it being a
- 10:51matter of degrees and rather than sort of visualizing that like your heart pumping
- 10:56either i'm fine or i am this like pile of ash,
- 11:00burned out for me i am business is fine it's more so like i'm on fire but not
- 11:06like i'm on fire in the kind of good way that we say when something's great
- 11:10like i'm on fire i do nail this but like i'm on fire like the house is burning
- 11:14are connected to me and there is a crisis still even though.
- 11:19It doesn't matter what the belief is, quite frankly. I'm not completely destroyed.
- 11:24I'm not a pile of ash yet, but if I don't address this now, that is what the outcome will be.
- 11:30And that took me some time to come to terms with that.
- 11:36Just because there's still something left of me doesn't mean that this is not a crisis.
- 11:42I love that. That's so important. Because I think for high-achieving people
- 11:48such as yourself also, there's a point, too, where you can manage so much because
- 11:55you're a high-functioning,
- 11:57high-level, strong work ethic kind of person.
- 12:02You can manage a lot. And so you're already managing likely more than other people.
- 12:07So you think that that's like the normal equilibrium, right?
- 12:11And then even like one bit lower than that, you're like, oh,
- 12:16no, I'm not performing at my best.
- 12:19And there's a lot of like blame and shame in that process of determining,
- 12:24is it OK for me to take a rest? Is it OK for me to take a break?
- 12:30And I think you're I love the metaphor, like the binary. I'm not ash, so I should be OK.
- 12:37But again, you're likely functioning at like 150 percent. Because for me, it's busy.
- 12:42Instead of 100% or even like 75%, which is really like the healthy range.
- 12:48But because you're so used to functioning at that high level, there's a lot of that.
- 12:53Like once you come down to even 100%, there's like guilt around it.
- 12:58Like, oh, no, I should be functioning at a higher level.
- 13:01I'm not allowed to take a break. Which I think is really key.
- 13:04But I think there's this other piece where if we're managing this very fragile
- 13:10equilibrium, as soon as you add something new, you have to take something off.
- 13:16But I think that's another thing where guilt comes into play,
- 13:20where it's like, well, I don't have kids and I don't have these other obligations.
- 13:24I shouldn't have to take something else off.
- 13:27But you have to find that balance for yourself, not comparing yourself to other
- 13:32people, but like knowing when that time is to take a break so that you don't
- 13:38become ash. Like, it's okay to take a break before you're broken.
- 13:41You're not awful. Okay, let me just be the first person to tell you if you're
- 13:46running a business, there's different kinds of stress.
- 13:49And that's becoming increasingly more noticeable to me now where I am in an
- 13:54environment where I have a lot on my plate.
- 13:57I have a lot to do. So if you're making money in your business,
- 14:00just give yourself a huge pat on the back.
- 14:03I don't care how much money you're making. I don't care how much money you're
- 14:05making. If you make any amount of money this year, offering quarter one of 2025,
- 14:10give yourself a huge pat on the back. I'm not going to bed worrying about what
- 14:12I'm going to get done the next day.
- 14:14Even though I know I have a massive, like I have a lot on my plate for sure.
- 14:17There are a lot of things to juggle and to make happen. but realizing that there
- 14:25might also be other types of stress.
- 14:28And by that, I mean, do you have a manager that is supportive and that understands you?
- 14:35And what's the work, like the culture in your workplace?
- 14:38Is it a safe space? Do you feel like you have psychological safety to be yourself and to speak up?
- 14:47And does anyone listen if you say, hey,
- 14:50actually, I think what we're doing right now is counterproductive to
- 14:54the overall objectives that we say that we want to achieve
- 14:57and there are lots of and and do you have a
- 15:00power to influence i'm laughing so much today i don't know why i find this topic
- 15:04like really funny i think that as well was something that we know it's coming
- 15:09i didn't quite realize i think at the time the degree to which that was time
- 15:14and i'm laughing also having an impact on on my well-being like.
- 15:18Always changes yeah i think that's really important
- 15:21to note also because again and then it goes back
- 15:24in this role of i just call it high achieving
- 15:27because i don't really have another great description but
- 15:30i think in this in this role that we take on and i put myself in the same bucket
- 15:34we first look at ourselves like what are we doing wrong like is this feedback
- 15:40from my manager accurate in the world and we have to like go through that cycle
- 15:44for a while before we can look at them objectively and say,
- 15:48actually, maybe that isn't the kind of feedback I need to thrive. And maybe that's okay.
- 15:54And maybe this isn't the kind of environment where I'm thriving.
- 15:57Even though I love my colleagues, which I think is a really big,
- 16:00important piece to a lot of people, they don't want to leave the comfort of
- 16:05that really nice colleague kind of ecosystem which you had.
- 16:09That's a hard thing to leave. Although we can say we can
- 16:12still be friends with those people outside of work if we have those
- 16:15kinds of relationships but it takes a while also
- 16:18to be reflective enough and confident enough
- 16:21to understand that maybe that manager is
- 16:25not going to be the person that's going to get you to the next level
- 16:28and being okay with that because we blame ourselves
- 16:31like well maybe i need to be a better performer or maybe i need
- 16:34to do this differently and i think it's also okay
- 16:37to understand that this person is not
- 16:40going to be the person that's going to get me to the next level so i
- 16:43either need to usurp them in some way
- 16:46which is not creating a great dynamic or i
- 16:49need to find a place where i'm in a culture where those
- 16:52managers are trained to support and
- 16:56guide people like me and i want to
- 16:59say one last thing anything is important about you specifically is that you
- 17:03are a visionary and this is something we talked about a lot in the coaching
- 17:07you saw that but you didn't necessarily see it as a as a place where you could
- 17:14grow into and really step into those roles you were still a little bit playing small.
- 17:19And then when you got into an environment where that was coveted
- 17:23and people were like if you're excited about that skill set you start to feel
- 17:28like you can open up and expand into that place whereas in the other environment
- 17:32you felt like you kind of had to like tear that back because Because you were
- 17:36just taking on more work and you weren't getting like the actual recognition
- 17:39you needed for that skill.
- 17:41I know it doesn't feel like it should work.
- 17:44I know it. That's why it sounds so weird to even say it because I'm a mad person. So what changed?
- 17:49So now you're saying you have a lot on your plate. What I've learned.
- 17:53It could be overwhelming to some people. So I get scared. But the environment feels different.
- 17:58The manager support feels different. So what else?
- 18:02Was a shift for you where you don't go to sleep or go to bed feeling like overwhelmed
- 18:08with the amount of things you have to do?
- 18:10What else happened in that change to make you feel more balanced now?
- 18:18One of the first things was how I approached what I was looking for in a new role.
- 18:25So just to also give some context, towards the end of my previous employment,
- 18:31we agreed that I would take a severance leave.
- 18:34So I left the company and had some time then to find my bearings, so to speak.
- 18:41And yeah, reflect and just figure out what would be the most appropriate next steps.
- 18:48And yeah, I realized from us working together that.
- 18:53But I wanted to become more, like you said, a farmer.
- 18:58And also just to give people a bit of context why I say farmer,
- 19:02because I'm not into actual farm work, is because I've previously been working
- 19:09as a customer success manager.
- 19:13And in our industry, customer success managers are usually compared to salespeople
- 19:19who are then described as the hunters.
- 19:22They go hunt new deals, new business, whereas the customer success managers are farmers.
- 19:28And I really resonated with that analogy.
- 19:33That's why I was interested in customer success management, because I like the
- 19:38idea of nurturing the relationships and just building on what you already have on a customer base.
- 19:45But then with working with you, I also came to realize that it's not just the
- 19:51work with customers, sort of the CS work that I find interesting.
- 19:58It's the whole ecosystem in which we operate.
- 20:02So I started envisioning myself more as someone who would want to be a gardener
- 20:08to share on that analogy of the farmer.
- 20:11I want to not only help set the groundwork and nourish the environment in which
- 20:19the hunters, the farmers,
- 20:21anyone else is operating in any organization, I want to make sure that everyone thrives.
- 20:28So also internally, making sure that we have sufficiently good processes,
- 20:35people are set up for success in their work. So not just being a customer success
- 20:40manager, but just like a success manager.
- 20:42Let's make sure people are successful with what they are doing here in this
- 20:47organization. I want to say stand up for yourself as this is your...
- 21:01I interviewed for many positions where, you know, on paper, I would have been a great fit.
- 21:07Like I have all the right skills, the right qualifications.
- 21:10I would have jumped right into a team where they already have everything built,
- 21:15ready to go. You can just take this and run from day one.
- 21:21And I knew that that wouldn't be right for me because that would just be a little
- 21:26bit too easy or just a little bit too familiar.
- 21:30Like I wanted something a little bit more where I could contribute into shaping
- 21:36what the work would look like and actually help improve the processes and the
- 21:42ways of working and enabling success internally in the organization as well.
- 21:46That it does work, that it's not super woo-woo, that it is where our businesses
- 21:50grow our businesses. That's what I found in my current role,
- 21:53which I'm very, very thankful for.
- 21:55Also, I found a manager that I really enjoy working with.
- 22:03And I think that was key to me being in the position that I am today.
- 22:10Knowing and being intentional that this is what I want, so this is what I'm looking for.
- 22:15And full transparency like you know those months where i was looking and interviewing
- 22:20for jobs and things weren't clicking it wasn't the right bit because like i
- 22:25said i i had something very,
- 22:28particular in mind for myself works better for
- 22:31there were moments where i thought oh gosh shouldn't i
- 22:34just take this job like
- 22:37just so that i know okay this is what it is and then maybe over time of you.
- 22:39Music.
- 22:42Know I thought about settling many times just because of the uncertainty that
- 22:49I was in it's you know I don't I don't enjoy that uncertainty but I'm very glad that I did,
- 22:56didn't do that and that I stuck around and now ended up where I'm now where
- 23:01I feel like I have much more support and I'm able to contribute also to the
- 23:09overall well-being and contribute to the overall ecosystem in the organization as well.
- 23:14Yeah, I think that's important. Two points that I think are important there.
- 23:20This idea of taking a little bit of time, you got lucky because you got a severance.
- 23:26But I think for people considering burnout leave or considering just taking
- 23:31a sabbatical between jobs,
- 23:33one of the things I love about coaching while you're in your old position before
- 23:37you make the transition is it's not risky to stay in your current job and make
- 23:42it better and bolster it and put some new boundaries on. in place,
- 23:45which we worked on together.
- 23:46I think that's important to changing old patterns and behaviors because you
- 23:51might think this environment is slightly toxic or I'm not jiving with this environment.
- 23:56So I'm going to just desperately jump to a new job.
- 24:00And sometimes people take no time in between. And what I see happen time and
- 24:04time again is that they land in a new job that's also not a great fit.
- 24:08And then they're just spiraling and it really can deplete their their self-worth
- 24:13and their self-esteem to just jump into another job that is basically the same
- 24:17job, but it felt different because there's that honeymoon phase.
- 24:21So I think that part of the transition is important to start the coaching or
- 24:27start the process while you're in your current job, start that application process
- 24:32so that you can wait it out the way that you did.
- 24:35Some people don't have the luxury of, you know, being on a severance.
- 24:39So I would say just take your time So you don't have to deal with,
- 24:44I mean, you're going to deal with the discomfort of your current job.
- 24:47But that time feels so critical so that you land in the position that feels like the right fit.
- 24:53And one thing that we talked about that I talked to a lot of clients about is
- 24:57this idea of find the culture that feels like a good fit.
- 25:01Be shopping around for that culture, vet that culture, rather than just blindly
- 25:06applying to the jobs that feel like the right fit, because you do need to feel
- 25:11a part of an environment,
- 25:13especially for you and the kind of role you want to fill, that's going to help
- 25:18you get to the next place.
- 25:21So I'm curious, since we had talked about that, how did you kind of vet the culture?
- 25:25How did you vet your new manager to see
- 25:30if they were going to be a better fit for you yeah so
- 25:33this is probably one of the the most difficult things i
- 25:36found in the interview process because how do you
- 25:38vet for for culture when you interview you only get to you only get to interview
- 25:44with a few people and it's you know speaking from experience like there's there's
- 25:49a lot of ways companies can make themselves appear to have a great work culture
- 25:52externally that don't necessarily speak to what it's like on the inside.
- 25:57And so I focus primarily on having a good manager.
- 26:03Of course, managers can change, but I always think that if you don't feel like
- 26:09you have good chemistry and...
- 26:13With your manager, then it doesn't really matter if everything else is great
- 26:16because your manager is the one person that you're going to be reporting to
- 26:21and ultimately working the closest together with.
- 26:26And then I was also fortunate that as part of my interview process,
- 26:29I also interviewed with the Norwegian CEO for the company.
- 26:34And that was also great because that gave me a sense of the overall sort of
- 26:43values and leadership perspectives from the very top of the organization.
- 26:51I work for a very large organization, and so that was very helpful.
- 26:55Of course, I also had an interview with the head of HR, and it was very difficult.
- 27:04And I have to say, like, even when I signed the contract, I wasn't 100% sure
- 27:09if it would be a good culture fit.
- 27:13But I had, you know, inquired a lot about, you know, how is it working there?
- 27:18Are there, you know, what is it like? How do co-workers work?
- 27:23Is it a hybrid workplace?
- 27:25Are people in the office all the time? Like, how do people work here? How do they get along?
- 27:31And what is the tenure like? Like, you know, are there a lot of people here
- 27:34that have been working here for more than three years?
- 27:37Which I also found there's a lot of people that have worked for this,
- 27:40you know, for the company for 10, 20 years.
- 27:44And that have, you know, just transitioned into different roles,
- 27:46as well as there being, of course, people that have maybe worked there for three to five years.
- 27:51So these were all things that I thought, OK, this is all great.
- 27:57And then one final thing that I also thought was very positive is that they
- 28:01do have a sort of an employee social club that most people are part of.
- 28:06It's voluntarily to be part of it because you are deducted, I believe,
- 28:10the equivalent of like two euros per month,
- 28:13to be in membership dues, which goes back to the money, goes then back to the
- 28:18different initiatives that the club organizes.
- 28:22And I thought that was a really great thing, that there is this sort of mini
- 28:27organization within the organization that is just in charge of ensuring that
- 28:32there's different activities and things that we do together as co-workers.
- 28:38So I thought that was very positive. And yeah, I suppose I took a bit of a leap of faith as well.
- 28:47And knowing that, you know, at the end of the day, you have to just be there and feel it.
- 28:52But knowing that I had a good manager and that I also really looked up to the CEO, I felt that,
- 29:00I should be in good hands. And so far, I've been here now for almost four months.
- 29:06I would say that has held true.
- 29:09Great. That's obviously a relief for me to hear after the work that we did together.
- 29:15But I also think there's one other little piece to that.
- 29:19And it might seem less important and maybe superficial, but there's also kind
- 29:25of an instinct that happens. So you do the vetting process. You ask the questions you can ask.
- 29:30The things that are important to you, which you did. And I think your questions were fantastic.
- 29:34And you wanted to see if you had chemistry with a manager, also huge.
- 29:39But when you go to sign that contract, and it's kind of like anything in life,
- 29:44there's never someone standing next to you going, this is 100% going to be the right fit.
- 29:48And here's the crystal ball. And we can tell you this is going to be great.
- 29:52But I think there's an instinct. And we have it when we go into interviews where
- 29:55it's not going to be the right fit.
- 29:57And sometimes we just suppress it because we're like, but I need a job. So who cares?
- 30:02All these red flags are going off, but I'm just going to like pretend like they're
- 30:05not there, but they're always there.
- 30:07We always know when there are red flags and we always know when it's like,
- 30:11it's feeling pretty good.
- 30:12Like maybe there's a reason I should question it. Maybe I should ask more questions.
- 30:16Maybe it's not going to be the right fit, but if there aren't any blaring red
- 30:20flags, it's the best thing you can do, right? Like all you can do is just,
- 30:24you know, do your vetting, but then feel for, is there resistance?
- 30:31Like, do I have a weird panicky feeling when I walk into the office?
- 30:34Do I have a weird feeling when I'm around the CEO or my manager?
- 30:38Those things are also important because our body always knows.
- 30:42And I know that's like a weird woo-woo thing to add, but I think it's huge because
- 30:46I've been in tons of interviews where I'm like, this does not feel like the
- 30:50right fit for me, but I'm going to do it anyway because everything on paper seems right.
- 30:54And my logical brain is like, just say yes, who cares about the rest?
- 30:58And I, every time I've had that feeling, I've ended up in a bad position.
- 31:03Yeah. Yeah. No. And that also has, that also took me some time.
- 31:08Like when I first started, I would say like the first four weeks of me working
- 31:12there, I felt like I was a little bit more guarded.
- 31:15It took some time until I really felt like, Oh, okay.
- 31:19Like I can, I can lower my shoulders now and I feel more at home and I also
- 31:25brought that up with my manager of course because I.
- 31:30Hadn't shared the full extent to everything that I had gone through with my
- 31:35previous place of employment and so I mentioned now I feel like I can finally breathe and,
- 31:45I feel more at ease here and,
- 31:49That was very, very nice to see. Yeah, that's great, too.
- 31:53I think that that piece of sharing, I know a lot of people who have gone through
- 31:56burnout, they find it and not that I'm saying you went through burnout,
- 32:00but I think that's a story people take with them forward. And it's hard to talk
- 32:05about sometimes, too, like what you experienced in the past.
- 32:08But I do think if you have the right relationship with your manager,
- 32:11it's good to bring that stuff forward because it's going to affect your work,
- 32:16at least in the beginning. You're going to be bringing whatever baggage came
- 32:20from the last place, whatever PTSD.
- 32:23And it is important to just find a place for it so you can just put it away and move on.
- 32:29But I think it's helpful if sometimes certain colleagues or your manager know
- 32:33pieces of that story, they can help you move past it because none of those stories
- 32:40are true anymore. It was a thing that happened in the past.
- 32:43The concerns or insecurities that you built up at that place,
- 32:48they're now gone, but they're still lingering.
- 32:51You need a place to put them down.
- 32:54And sometimes it's helpful to have that conversation. So I'm happy that you
- 32:57pressed your manager enough to have those kinds of conversations with them.
- 33:02No definitely and it was also important to me because
- 33:05I felt like I wasn't as long as I still had
- 33:08that guard up I wasn't showing up fully and
- 33:12authentically as myself because I was still having a little
- 33:15bit of a guard and a shield up and I've I've
- 33:19already been told that I I can sometimes seem
- 33:22like I'm a bit intimidating or or you know
- 33:26so I which I I
- 33:29in my mind if you know me and you've spent more than like 20 minutes
- 33:32with me you know that I am very much an approachable I'm
- 33:35a softie but I have I what my
- 33:39uh what's sometimes referred to as the the the resting bee face uh which is
- 33:46just uh you know an unfortunate thing I can't really do much about it so it's
- 33:50you know so when people also on top of that don't know me they they might think
- 33:55oh she's maybe a little bit unapproachable.
- 33:57And if I'm on top of that also carrying this shield or this guard around myself,
- 34:02then certainly I cannot seem very approachable.
- 34:06And just being able to let that go and just be honest and like,
- 34:11hey, this is who I am and this is what I came from. I'm really happy to be here
- 34:15and that I don't have to worry about that anymore.
- 34:17But this is where I came from that allowed me to.
- 34:23Be more present and be more authentically who I am now in my interactions with people.
- 34:29Yeah, it's so great. It's so great. And the reason that we got back in touch after, you know,
- 34:36kind of ending our coaching program together and then you moving into this new
- 34:40position, but I wanted to create a program to support people who are in that
- 34:46burnout phase, but don't know they're in that transition phase.
- 34:50And I reached out to you because I feel like your story is so helpful and your
- 34:55transition has been so successful.
- 34:59And, you know, just going on that journey with you for me too,
- 35:03was just, it was an honor to be able to work with you through that, that phase.
- 35:08And I'm so happy you ended up where you are on the other side of that and like
- 35:12owning all your skills too.
- 35:14Cause I think that's so important, like really owning and stepping into your
- 35:18gifts and your talents and not letting some work environment or,
- 35:22you know, certain people limit you or make you feel like you're not as amazing as you are.
- 35:29So I love that you have the support. But that was why I reached out to you.
- 35:34And I just really appreciate you sharing your story because for people who are
- 35:39in that moment of transition, it feels so isolating.
- 35:43It's so painful and you just can't see, you don't have that crystal ball.
- 35:49You can't see that there could be something better over here and people really
- 35:53hold on tightly to what they have for all the right reasons.
- 35:57But I love your story because it shows people that once you kind of move through
- 36:01the paces of that journey,
- 36:03you can end up somewhere that is just such a better fit for who you are yeah
- 36:09no thank you and you're you're working with you has been immensely valuable
- 36:13in this process i i dare to think what what it would have been like navigating this without you,
- 36:20but i also think the fact that it the fact that i had you as a resource and
- 36:26that we'd had all these discussions and that we'd done all this work reflecting
- 36:31on what it is i want for myself and
- 36:34where it is that I want to go that enabled me to actually get that because it's
- 36:42very unlikely that you're going to get what you want if you don't know how to ask for it.
- 36:51And that was exactly why I wanted to just work with a coach is to be more intentional,
- 36:56just to not like end up somewhere by chance I wanted to be intentional about
- 37:01that next step which which I did and and it was,
- 37:05so important that I was so I'm I'm very grateful for the work that we got to
- 37:10do that was amazing and thanks again thank you so much for sharing your story
- 37:15and yeah we will definitely stay in touch yeah thank you.