Latest / Rock My Finances / Live Your Diamond Life:Authentic Q&A for Women-Chapter 4:How do you talk about money with a partner?

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Live Your Diamond Life:Authentic Q&A for Women-Chapter 4:How do you talk about money with a partner? · Rock My Finances

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  Speaker 2: Before you make.
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  Speaker 1: a financial or tax professional to discuss your individual circumstances
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  Speaker 3: Welcome to the Rock My Finances Show on k FORHD
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  Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV, where we put the fund
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  Speaker 3: in finance joint powerhouse Jeffer josp CDFA CMC and Private
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  Speaker 3: Wealth Advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
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  Speaker 3: control and compidence with your money, your way. It's not
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  Speaker 3: about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
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  Speaker 3: find out now Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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  Speaker 4: Welcome back to Rock My Finances. This is Live Your
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  Speaker 4: Diamond Life Authentic Q and A for women. We are
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  Speaker 4: on chapter four, so that means you have to go
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  Speaker 4: back and listen to chapter one, two, and three. So
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  Speaker 4: what I've done is, over decades of meeting with thousands
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  Speaker 4: of people and having financial questions and brief questions and
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  Speaker 4: divorce questions and all kinds of different questions, how can
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  Speaker 4: I answer these? So I decided to just accumulate all
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  Speaker 4: these wonderful questions that I've received and answer them on
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  Speaker 4: this show. So we will have different episodes with different
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  Speaker 4: types of questions. This one is about relationship and money.
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  Speaker 4: Chapter three was kind of about that as well, so
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  Speaker 4: if you want more of it after this episode, go
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  Speaker 4: check out chapter three. So number one question, when should
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  Speaker 4: couples talk about debt and financial history? Good question, So
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  Speaker 4: this would be when someone's dating or getting to know someone.
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  Speaker 4: So these conversations usually happy happen once a relationships becomes
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  Speaker 4: more committed. So I know, now, just being where I'm
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  Speaker 4: at right now, people are waiting longer to have the sex.
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  Speaker 4: Have the sex, right, They're not just jumping into bed
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  Speaker 4: right away, especially if they want a long term relationship.
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  Speaker 4: If they're just looking for a quick hookup. Yeah, that
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  Speaker 4: they're going to be doing that. But if they are
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  Speaker 4: looking for a partner for life or at least for
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  Speaker 4: the next ten to fifteen years, they want to wait
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  Speaker 4: longer on the oxytocin. Oxytocin messing up our brain waves
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  Speaker 4: and giving us a false sense of love when maybe
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  Speaker 4: we're not that compatible. So they're waiting on those wonderful
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  Speaker 4: feelings that sexuality can bring them and tell they're really committed.
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  Speaker 4: I would say the same for money. Let's hang on
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  Speaker 4: because that is a big trigger. However, we can still
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  Speaker 4: be talking about our values and things upfront to kind
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  Speaker 4: of give us a gist of the idea, but to
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  Speaker 4: talk about how much debt you have? You know, do
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  Speaker 4: you have any good credit, do you have any bad credit?
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  Speaker 4: What are your financial responsibilities?
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  Speaker 2: You know?
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  Speaker 4: What assets do you have, What liabilities do you have?
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  Speaker 4: We need to build a really good trust foundation before
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  Speaker 4: we start talking about money like that, especially when a
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  Speaker 4: lot of us are dating on dating apps or meeting
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  Speaker 4: people on dating apps and we really don't know them anymore.
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  Speaker 4: It's not like your brother in law is working with
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  Speaker 4: this guy for twenty years and he's introducing you, right,
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  Speaker 4: So we are meeting officially strangers, and so we really
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  Speaker 4: don't know who they are. So let's let's put pump
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  Speaker 4: the brakes a little bit and let's spend some time
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  Speaker 4: getting to know someone before we just start, you know,
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  Speaker 4: divulging all of the special things about us. And our
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  Speaker 4: money is special about us, right, that's our relationship with money.
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  Speaker 4: As a financial advisor myself, I have met with several
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  Speaker 4: couples in their beginning dating periods around you know, four
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  Speaker 4: or five, six months into the system or into the relationship,
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  Speaker 4: and I've met with both of them to talk about money,
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  Speaker 4: and that way, we're not really sharing assets, but we're
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  Speaker 4: talking about how we think about money, how we feel
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  Speaker 4: about money, how we deal with money. Because you all
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  Speaker 4: know me, f word is my favorite word, and how
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  Speaker 4: we feel about money is how we feel about everything.
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  Speaker 4: So it will come up in this love relationship, even
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  Speaker 4: if you don't want it to, it's gonna come up
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  Speaker 4: in this love relationship. So it's a good idea to
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  Speaker 4: talk about some things, but just not right off the bat.
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  Speaker 2: Give it a little bit of time. Okay.
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  Speaker 4: Number two, how do we bring up money without creating tension?
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  Speaker 4: This can be in any length of relationship. Or any
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  Speaker 4: type of relationship. Right money conversations often go better when
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  Speaker 4: framed around shared goals rather than criticism. So like asking
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  Speaker 4: questions like what does financial security look like to you?
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  Speaker 4: That can be something that can open the door right
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  Speaker 4: you can have a really meaningful dialogue around that. The
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  Speaker 4: goal is to understand how they feel about financial security
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  Speaker 4: and what it actually looks like, and not judging around that.
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  Speaker 4: So another question would be what is security to you?
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  Speaker 4: I know that's one of my questions. I ask all
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  Speaker 4: of my clients feeling financially secure? What does that mean?
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  Speaker 4: Some people might say one hundred thousand dollars in the bank.
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  Speaker 4: Somebody else might say no credit card debt. Somebody else
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  Speaker 4: might say being able to control my own money. Somebody
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  Speaker 4: else might be able to say, I have enough money
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  Speaker 4: piled up to where the interest is being made, and
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  Speaker 4: I don't have to work anymore, and I'm secure no
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  Speaker 4: matter what happens with the stock market, if the money
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  Speaker 4: goes up and down, I know that I'm going to
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  Speaker 4: get this fixed interest every month, and I know that
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  Speaker 4: I'm safe. Another person might just say my job brings
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  Speaker 4: me security. Like everybody can have a different answer to
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  Speaker 4: that question. So that's a great question. What does financial
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  Speaker 4: security look like to you? Before that question, you might
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  Speaker 4: even ask is financial security important to you? Is that
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  Speaker 4: one of your values?
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  Speaker 1: Right?
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  Speaker 4: That is one of my huge values is financial freedom,
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  Speaker 4: which equals financial security to me. So that's at the
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  Speaker 4: top of my list, right obviously for what I do,
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  Speaker 4: it should be. So that's a really good way to
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  Speaker 4: ask around it. Now, let me put questions to parents
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  Speaker 4: and children. How do you feel about having the money
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  Speaker 4: that you have right now to do things? How would
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  Speaker 4: you feel if you had more money? How would you
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  Speaker 4: feel if you had less money? To try to gauge
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  Speaker 4: if money stresses them out or not? Especially high schoolers
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  Speaker 4: are great before they go off to college and start.
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  Speaker 2: Handling money on their own or in college.
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  Speaker 4: Right, My daughter always worked, so she's worked since high
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  Speaker 4: school and college and everything, and so she has handled
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  Speaker 4: her own money, which is great. My son handles his
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  Speaker 4: own money like there, you know, he's he's a lot
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  Speaker 4: more frugal than I am or my daughter is. I
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  Speaker 4: can say, which is areas, But how they feel about
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  Speaker 4: money is important. So that's always a good question to anybody
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  Speaker 4: in any age anywhere. Like that's just a great way
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  Speaker 4: to get to know somebody. Question number three, what role
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  Speaker 4: does financial independence play in a healthy relationship? Now, this
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  Speaker 4: is just information from JJ. This is from Jennifer here.
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  Speaker 4: This is my opinion only. Financial independence doesn't mean it's separation.
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  Speaker 4: It means it's confidence and capability of being on your
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  Speaker 4: own with money. So I love like I did a
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  Speaker 4: whole series for feeling independent with your money. No matter
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  Speaker 4: if you're married, been married for fifty years, twenty years,
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  Speaker 4: five years, whatever, you should be able to know that
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  Speaker 4: you can stand on your own two feet with your
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  Speaker 4: own either income or your assets, or your ability to
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  Speaker 4: derive an income, whatever it is. Because if you start
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  Speaker 4: leaning on someone else's income, that's where all kinds of
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  Speaker 4: emotional turmoil comes in. Codependency comes in, financial abuse comes in.
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  Speaker 4: Everyone should know that they can stand on their own
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  Speaker 4: two feet financially. Then you are coming to this relationship
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  Speaker 4: as an equal and not as a victim or a
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  Speaker 4: poor me type of situation. So I believe financial independence
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  Speaker 4: plays a huge role in a healthy relationship. Now you
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  Speaker 4: can know that you both come in with maybe the
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  Speaker 4: same incomer, somebody might be a little bit higher, and
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  Speaker 4: then you choose to maybe someone stays home and takes
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  Speaker 4: care of the kids and starts to raise a family.
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  Speaker 4: That's fine, that's great. But that person that's not earning
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  Speaker 4: an income still needs to have their own account, their
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  Speaker 4: own money, their own access to the family money, and
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  Speaker 4: still needs to know what's happening with the household money
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  Speaker 4: even though they're not bringing in the money. I know,
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  Speaker 4: old school is, you know, the breadwinner controls all rules,
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  Speaker 4: all makes all the decisions. And there's a lot of
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  Speaker 4: religions out there still that says, you know, the man
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  Speaker 4: is the head of the household and he makes all
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  Speaker 4: the decisions, and that's great. All I'm saying is the
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  Speaker 4: other person also needs to know what's happening. They need
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  Speaker 4: to have the passwords to all the bank accounts, They
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  Speaker 4: need to see the statements on a regular basis. They
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  Speaker 4: need to have their couple's money date, like I always
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  Speaker 4: talk about, Right, we all have our money dates weekly,
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  Speaker 4: but then we have a couple's money date at least monthly,
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  Speaker 4: if not quarterly. We both need to be in really
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  Speaker 4: good communication on what's happening with our finances. We need
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  Speaker 4: to talk about our vacation spending plan. We need to
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  Speaker 4: talk about our children's college spending plan. We need to
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  Speaker 4: talk about how much we want to spend going out
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  Speaker 4: to dinner on that great bottle of wine, or the
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  Speaker 4: future of our children, Like do we want to save
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  Speaker 4: enough money so that one person doesn't have to work
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  Speaker 4: and they can stay home with the kids. Is that
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  Speaker 4: important to you? Or do both parents want to work
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  Speaker 4: the entire time? And if so, how much are we
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  Speaker 4: going to pay for daycare? Do we need family daycare?
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  Speaker 4: There's so many questions that revolve around money. I highly
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  Speaker 4: suggest that if you don't have a good relationship with
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  Speaker 4: money yourself, your relationship is not going to have a
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  Speaker 4: good relationship with money either.
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  Speaker 2: So definitely pulling a coach. I know a really good
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  Speaker 2: money coach. Hmmm. I think her name's Jennifer. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: I think I would give her a call.
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  Speaker 4: I swear she helps help thousands of people and tons
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  Speaker 4: of couples to get ready on the same page around money.
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  Speaker 2: And it's easy.
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  Speaker 4: I know it doesn't feel easy because it feels so big,
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  Speaker 4: But I tell you it's an easy, step by step
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  Speaker 4: process to get on the good relationship with money so
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  Speaker 4: that your relationship can be about you and your love
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  Speaker 4: and your future and your fun and not about the
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  Speaker 4: stress around money. Okay, question number four, how can couples
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  Speaker 4: talk about money in a way that builds trust? Now,
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  Speaker 4: when we are just starting dating, we don't have that trust, right,
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  Speaker 4: We just we're just learning this person. So trust grows
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  Speaker 4: when money conversations are consistent, respectful and transparent. Couples who
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  Speaker 4: regularly check in about finances tend to avoid surprises and misunderstandings.
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  Speaker 4: So we want to set up our money date. Yes,
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  Speaker 4: you heard it here. I know you hear it all
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  Speaker 4: the time, but we need to literally schedule that as
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  Speaker 4: sacred time. And I know we can always push things
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  Speaker 4: back and push things away, but when you're at work
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  Speaker 4: and your boss needs something, you get that done, right.
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  Speaker 4: So you need to hold your relationship with money and
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  Speaker 4: your relationship with your person, your special person sacred. That
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  Speaker 4: is sacred time that does not get messed up. So
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  Speaker 4: we need to talk about money on a consistent basis.
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  Speaker 4: You can pick the time, you can pick the weekly, monthly, quarterly,
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  Speaker 4: nothing more than that. I mean, we all have to
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  Speaker 4: do it every time around our taxes. Right right now,
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  Speaker 4: this happens to be March, so we're getting ready for
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  Speaker 4: our tax time. I just submitted Allline to my CPA,
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  Speaker 4: which is awesome.
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  Speaker 2: Feels so good.
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  Speaker 4: So I get a little pat on my back because
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  Speaker 4: I actually accomplish something and that feels really good too.
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  Speaker 4: And when we're having that conversation with our a special
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  Speaker 4: person about money, and it tends to go a little
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  Speaker 4: bit more negative, stop, take a breath, walk away for
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  Speaker 4: a minute. Say I'm gonna need a ten minute walk
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  Speaker 4: around the block. I'm gonna go walk the dog, I'm
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  Speaker 4: gonna go take a hot shower, I'm gonna go jump
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  Speaker 4: in the pool, whatever it takes. I'm gonna go have
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  Speaker 4: a cup of coffee and then come back to the conversation.
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  Speaker 4: But really, during that time, it's not just about walking
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  Speaker 4: away and going, oh my god, they're so stupid. No no,
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  Speaker 4: no no, and put them down and put it all
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  Speaker 4: on them. Your time to walk away, always in every
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  Speaker 4: fight is reflection upon how you can do better. So
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  Speaker 4: when we take a break and walk away, it's I mean,
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  Speaker 4: my question to me, is what is that really about.
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  Speaker 4: It's never about what we think it is, and it's
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  Speaker 4: never about the money. It's about what's underneath my relationship
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  Speaker 4: with money. So what am I really feeling here? And
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  Speaker 4: what I'm usually feeling is I'm not perfect, or I'm
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  Speaker 4: less than or I've made a mistake, or I'm afraid
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  Speaker 4: I'm gonna make a mistake, or i feel bad about
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  Speaker 4: the future. All Right'm sorry, I feel bad about something
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  Speaker 4: I've done in the past, and I'm bringing that forward
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  Speaker 4: to this conversation. So it's always good to step away,
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  Speaker 4: take a breath and say, Okay, what am I really
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  Speaker 4: bringing to this conversation, and how can I say, you
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  Speaker 4: know what, I forgive myself for the past. Let me
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  Speaker 4: just know that everything's going to be fine. The universe
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  Speaker 4: has got my back, Everything's always working out for me.
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  Speaker 4: And step forward into the conversation of what I really
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  Speaker 4: want done. And usually there's a savor and a spender, right,
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  Speaker 4: and if the saver can be consistently coherently and without
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  Speaker 4: put downs, the spender is going to hear the savor,
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  Speaker 4: They're going to hear them on I'm just really nervous
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  Speaker 4: about spending this much money. And I'm nervous because I
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  Speaker 4: want to do this and this, and I'm not going
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  Speaker 4: to be able to do that if we spend too
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  Speaker 4: much here. And it's keeping it with eye messages, keeping
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  Speaker 4: it in the feeling level, keeping it from the heart level,
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  Speaker 4: keeping it of like you're wrong, you're spending way too
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  Speaker 4: much money. I can't believe you're doing that. No, no, no, no,
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  Speaker 4: it's I feel nervous because I'm afraid we're not going
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  Speaker 4: to have enough money to go do this or go
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  Speaker 4: do that. Does that make sense? So it's a lot
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  Speaker 4: of different ways that we can build trust. And the
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  Speaker 4: more conversations you have without blaming and judgment the other person,
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  Speaker 4: the more trust builds. And once we have a lot
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  Speaker 4: of trust, it's like it's like overflowing in our bucket. Right,
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  Speaker 4: we are just overflowing in our bucket. It's amazing.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 4: Question number five? What financial conversation should happen before moving
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  Speaker 4: in together or even getting married? Couples benefit from discussing income, debt,
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  Speaker 4: spending habits, financial goals and expectations for managing money together. Also,
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  Speaker 4: financial advisors can help with this, y'all, and money coaches
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  Speaker 4: just saying I help couples get organized all the time.
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  Speaker 2: How are we going to start with this?
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  Speaker 4: We have our spending sheet, we have our ideas of
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  Speaker 4: where our bills are now, we set up our money dates,
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: we want to talk about everything we want to talk about. Okay,
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: the wedding. The wedding could be very expensive. Do we
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: want to spend that much money on the wedding or
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: do we value assets more? Do we want to go
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: buy a rental house for property income later? Do we
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: want to buy a business? Do we want to start
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  Speaker 4: a business? Do we want to buy a house first?
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  Speaker 2: What do we want?
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  Speaker 4: Do we want to make sure all of our debt
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  Speaker 4: is paid before we buy a house? Then? You know,
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  Speaker 4: if you're choosing a couple that's having children, then that's
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  Speaker 4: a conversation to have. Is it a couple with college
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  Speaker 4: debt still education debt that they need to have that
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: paid off. There's lots of different conversations that we can
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: have remembering not from judgment, not from blame, but from
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  Speaker 4: my messages and how I feel, Which is why we
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  Speaker 4: all need to know our relationship with money before we
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: jump into a couple, before we jump into living together.
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  Speaker 4: Living together is a little bit easier because you need
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  Speaker 4: to be able to take care of the household. Do
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  Speaker 4: we want to have a joint account? So when I
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: lived with my last husband, yep, I've had three y'all,
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  Speaker 4: and I might not be done. We'll see how it goes.
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  Speaker 4: But I just got I just did a episode on
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: a Kashak Records. You guys should check that out's with
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: Kelly Jones. I just did that. I recorded that episode.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: It was amazing, and she said that my acoustic soul
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: records say that I'm good right now, and I feel
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  Speaker 4: really good about being single right now because I'm very
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  Speaker 4: busy birthing this amazing destiny that I have for help,
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  Speaker 4: I think empowering women, and I choose to do that
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  Speaker 4: around money.
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  Speaker 2: So you're in the right place anyways.
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  Speaker 4: So knowing that when I did move in with my
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  Speaker 4: last husband, we did have a joint household checking account
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  Speaker 4: as well, and so then we both contributed to that
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: household checking account, so that household checking account paid for
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  Speaker 4: groceries around the house, dinners out, vacations that we wanted
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  Speaker 4: to do together. So it was kind of like our
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  Speaker 4: relationship account. And then I had my money, he had
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  Speaker 4: his money. We had independence. Then if you wanted to
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  Speaker 4: buy each other a gift, you didn't know you know
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  Speaker 4: where that was coming from or anything like that, which
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  Speaker 4: was very nice. But we also contributed together to the
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  Speaker 4: household financially, and we both put in the equal amount
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  Speaker 4: each month, which felt very good. So we had independence
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  Speaker 4: and we had autonomy, and we had a relationship that
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: was very important, and we paid our relationship right. We
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: gave our relationship money.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Question number seven, what if someone was financially hurt in
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: a past relationship? Okay, ding, ding Ding, that's a great question.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: Financial betrayal can leave emotional scars one hundred percent. A
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: money coach can help with someone processing that experience and
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: rebuild confidence, while a financial advisor can help create safeguards
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: that provide security moving forward.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Okay. Basically, what that means is, I'm here to help
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: you all. For sure.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: We want to make sure that you're not bringing your
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: past into this relationship. We want to look at what
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: happened in the past, what we would have done different,
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: and what we would do different moving forward, so that
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: you are independent in this new relationship with money and
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: this new person. So we don't bring our past hurts
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: in even though we are all an accumulation of our
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: experiences in every relationship, and if we've been betrayed in
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: the past about anything, we tend to bring that in
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: our money relationship. So we really do want to look
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: back at our past. So I picture us driving in
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: a car together. Okay, y'all were sitting in a car together.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: Mine happens to be a convertible, because that's just the
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: way I'm rolling right now, and we are sitting together.
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: I'm in the passenger seat, you're in the driver's seat,
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: and we're looking through the windshield. Now we have a
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: rearview mirror for you to glance at to tell me
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: about the past. We need to look at the past
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: so that we can find out where it's coming from.
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: But then we're going to heal that, release that, forgive that,
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: and we're going to keep looking through the windshield moving forward.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: So we need to know where the past hurt came from.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: Release that, throw it out the top of the convertible top,
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: and just get rid of that past.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Because it's not there anymore.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: And we're going to keep looking through the windshield with
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: new processes, new thoughts, new experiences, and new behaviors, so
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: we can always get through a past hurt, for sure.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: I Mean, I've met a lot of people that have
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: been absolutely utterly screwed in their divorces, and unfortunately there's
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: always one side that I shouldn't say always, because since
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: I'm a certified divorce financial analyst, We've had a lot
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: of great separations that each side did have to compromise.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: You never going to get everything you want.
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: But they felt okay with walking away and still raising
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: their kids as co parents. Which is my most important
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: thing is I want to make sure that the parents
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: can still talk to each other if there's kids involved.
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: So that's the most important thing in a divorce with kids.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: So we can get past those past hurts and say, Okay,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: I was a different person back back then. I'm a
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: different person than I am now. I would react differently.
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: That wouldn't happen to me now because I would be
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: stepping up differently. So we can absolutely get rid of
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: those past hurts. A lot of people, you know, we meditate,
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: we have prayer, we have retreats that we go to
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: and all kinds of things just to release the past.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: Does that make sense?
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Okay? Number eight?
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: What is the healthiest mindset for couples approaching money together?
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I love this.
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: The healthiest mindset is seeing money as a shared tool
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: rather than a source of control or conflict. When couples
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: view finances as a way to support their values and
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: goals and future together, money becomes something that strengthens the
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: partnership rather than divides it. So when I go into
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: a household and I meet with people, I still go
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: to their houses.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: I love it because then I get to see how
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: they live. All their papers are there, and it's easier
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: to answer any questions I might have. I have them
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: do a mission statement for their household and put it
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: on the refrigerator, like we do mission statements for new
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: businesses and things like that. But each relationship should have
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: a mission statement. We should have a values list. I
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: have a values list. You have a values list, and
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: we have a values list together. What do we want
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: our relationship to value? I am One of my values
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: is service. I really do believe in service, and my
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: relationship I would want it to believe in service too,
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: So I would want to give service as a relationship
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: as well. So I would be hoping that that person
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: would want to be agreeing with service as a value
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: of the relationship. It could be anywhere. It could be monetarily,
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: it could be our time time spent. It could be
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: our skills or expertise, whatever it might be. So come
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: to it as a source of just a shared tool.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Money is just what our country created, our world created
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: to get things done right. I share money with you, you
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: share time with me. I share money with you. You
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: give me goods and services. That's all it is. That
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: is all it is. It's not who I am. It
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: does not reflect on my heart, It does not reflect
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: on my intelligence, it does not reflect on how much
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: good and love I can give someone. It actually just
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: reflects as a tool for me to share goods and services.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: That's all it is. So let's not put too much
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: importance on money, even though it's my career. But that's okay.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: So we want to look at it as in our relationship.
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: We want to know our values, our shared values, our goals,
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: our shared goals, the goals for us individually and the
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: goals for us as a relationship. What do we want
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: our highest and best good for our relationship to be.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: And if you can talk about all of that and
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: trust each other, do it holding hands. Do it in
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: a hot tub, do it in the swimming pool, do
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: it while you're playing pick a ball, do it where
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: you're in love having fun, so that it brings love
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: and fun to the relationship. With money in your relationship,
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: and if you're independent like I am, then we have
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: all the control in the world on when we want
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: to deal with our money right and our money dates.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: And I love that and we do it.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: I do it when I'm in a great mood and
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: I'm loving and I'm having a really, really good time.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: I want you all to be able to schedule your
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: money dates every week for thirty minutes, and I want
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: you all to be able to say, I rock my finances.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget to
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Let's find out with Jennifer right here on K four
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: HD Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: It's about the F word, feelings, feelings. Jennifer can't wait
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: say I rock my finances.