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You've Got Decisions: Can You Really Catch Feelings in Three Months? · Decisions, Decisions

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: a terrible throffle.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Guess what you've got decisions? You got decisions? Ah fu?
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Yay?
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Sorry did that because save the cheerleaders, Save the world.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: If you guys you know know that, that means you
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: are my sci fi motherfucker, sister or brother.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Oh power to us.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: It's from Heroes, which is an early two thousand's sci
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: fi show that I just binge watched for the last
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: three days on Netflix, and it.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Was so good. I will find you so good. I
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: finished that too. I'm just as good as the Polygamist. Bitch.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Oh the Polygamist saw that too. I told you to
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: watch that shit.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: You were like, it's much I say, bitch is good. Bitch.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: We watched it on our euro trip. It kept us
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: in the house for a night.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Literally we were about to leave and he was like, man,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: we've been in Paris already, let's just take let's brow.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Every every time I looked up, I said, oh, the
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: episode got to be in and what more can happen?
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Listen?
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: That shit was crazy. Listen to that so you can
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: catch up with us. On a cinema.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we gonna do a cinema of that hole right now.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Before we get into the letter, I saw that the
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: subject is I broke up with my high school sweetheart.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: So I wanted to ask you speak in high school?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Did you go or did you get an invite for
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: your ten year high school reunion?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Like would you have gone? Because I don't know if
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: you went, you didn't talk about it.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: But so high school is interesting for me because I
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: went to four.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I went to four high schools.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: So junior freshman year I went to Doctor Phillips and Orlando.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Then I split my sophomore year between Orlando and Atlanta.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I went to oak Ridgehigh SCHO School and Lakeside High School,
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: and then I split my junior year.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Back and graduated from Evans.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: So I went to DP, Oakridge, Lakeside, and E High.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: So for me, even by the time I did my
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: senior year, I only took two classes and worked.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: So my high school experience was I just.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: I don't have a strong connection to any one particular
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: high school. I have memories for each grade, but I
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: don't think a ten year anniversary makes sense for me
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: because I wasn't there. I wasn't out of high school
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: for any longer than two years at any given moment.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: So like, I don't have that connection. Oh, I get that.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I think I have a stronger connection with my middle school.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: But that's really that's really uh kind of bittersweet because
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: a lot of a lot of the middle school boys
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: from the middle school I went to shout out to
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Walker Middle School, a lot of them ended up getting
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: locked up and killed, like like I remember, like dealing
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: with two deaths in high school. I was like, yeah,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: like and then a lot of them are locked up.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Some of them reach out to me like on the Facebook.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: But I look at everybody, no one has like my life,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: and I just don't feel connected to what they don't.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: A lot like they.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Don't they don't like real homegrown lives, like not anything.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Hosts people in our lives.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: I feel like, I know, good, good for y'all having
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: the kids, having the husbands, living in the same homes
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: that y'all grew up in. Like I it's just real
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: country And I don't think people assume that Orlando's like
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: a country city. But when I go back, like, mind you,
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: none of my high schools even looked the same they
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: tore down Oakridge and Evans, and then DP also has
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: been restructures.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: My high schools don't even look the same.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: But I kind of love that some of my friends
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: are exactly who they were when I left to Orlando.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Not that I don't want them to elevate, but I
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: don't know if I had this conversation with you.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I feel like I did, maybe on a town hall.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: But my friends with simple lives are happy, happier than
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: my friends that are making a bunch of money and
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: working in entertainment and blah blah blah and the other
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: layer to them. They all have some kind of property ownership,
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: paid off cars. Maybe their cars are older, but I
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: think there's something to be no. I talked about this
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: with my braider. She was from Orlando too, and we
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: just randomly found out she's an LA braider. Right shout
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: out to Eve does La.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: She did be ath these raids and now she did
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: that I called very important.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Well, while we sitting down talking about Orlando, I was like, Bruh,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: all of my friends in Orlando fucking own a crib,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: and none of my friends in New York and LA
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: really do.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Some of them do, but they're like either super wealthy
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: like Cross is.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: So different, bro, That's what I'm saying though, So when
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: we talk about terms of success or having somebody's life,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: like they have a lot of the check mark things
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: that you.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Know I'm watching. I'm just bringing her up because I
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: was just chatting with her.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: She's like, I think I'm a traditional and a modern wife,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Sarah Fontanell. A lot of women are watching that content
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: about becoming a wife, and all these bitches back home
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: kind of did not that I think a nigga really
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: identifies anything, because.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Some of you hate your niggas.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: A lot of you do, you know a lot that
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: is the thing that they tell us we're supposed to have,
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: get married, have babies, buy a home, blah blah blah,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: and they've all kind of done it, so I think
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: it looks different. Maybe it doesn't look like maybe at
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: the nice apartments that we rent, but at the end
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: of the day, they do have a net worth and
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: they've grown themselves. So I feel there's a sense of
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: humility that I get when I go to Orlando sometimes
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: because I just became a homeowner at thirty five years old. Well,
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: I guess thirty four whatever. In January. But I've been
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: making money for a long time and I didn't really
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: do that. I grew businesses before I kind of like
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: planted my roots, And I just wonder, did that kind
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: of like make me go far back?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Even now planning a wedding.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Maybe some of you saw I posted on my story
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: a few weeks ago.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: My man and I looked up.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: The wedding we want what I want, and uh, you know,
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: it was about a quarter million dollars. That's the truth.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: I know that weddings can be done for fifty thousand dollars.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: That's not the case for the things I like, the
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: fantasy wedding that I want, the DJs I want to
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: play at my wedding, the caviar I want, the nice champagne,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: the experiential things I want my guests to have, and
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: my friends, you know what I mean, Like the maybe
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: one seventy five, But it is what it is. Weddings
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: are fucking expensive when you have all these big dreams.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: And so the second we look at a number like that,
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: he's like, let's just buy.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Another crib, Like why wouldn't we have another crib?
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: More properties? You know what I'm saying, Like I get it.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: That's where our head starts to.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Go because we start attaining different shit. Whereas I think I.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Mean, and I want to correct the when I say
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: me because I'm not saying that none of them are
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: happy or successful to me though, Like, I just really
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: don't have a lot in common with people who have
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: those check marked ideals of life. I don't want kids,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: don't care about them, don't bring them around, don't want
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: to see the pictures of them, don't.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Care, but don't care about quite a few. But that's
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: But for right so why do you think I want
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: to go to a reunion all a whole bunch of
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: strangers and talk about their lives that I don't care about.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I barely care about the ones I don't care about
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: kids like.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: That, Like I want to tell you though, becoming a
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: mom not becoming a wife because we fuck other people.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: But becoming a mom scares me. And losing friendships, not
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: losing them, that's the wrong word. Not being as close
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: as I once was. Not many of my friends or
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: moms unless their kids are like ten to twelve or
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: some shit.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm not gonna lie my main core group right now.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: I realize is Crystalline Jazz my two friends with no kids,
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: of course, and like the way that it's funny because
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: probably once a month, bitch christ to be calling me like, bitch,
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: we made the right motherfucking decisions, will call me like girl,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: I get another dog before I deal with what the
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: fuck these bitches dealing with. And so like, she got
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: one dog, three cats, and she's like, bitch, and I'll
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: get another one before I sit here and deal with
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: the shit that these bitches is dealing with with their
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: baby daddies.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Bro, I'm not mad like Bessie scared. Baby daddy shit
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: is the ghetto.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Listen, I'm not saying marriage is exempt because the nigga
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: could do you dirty, but.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Dash she is, so I give up.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Actually, what you just asked was very similar to what
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: our letter is this week, y'all. If you had a purpose,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: Oh look at you, Look at your producing baby, I said,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: speaking of high school, what our letters about?
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, come on, produce this, y'all. If you want to
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: send a letter it to us, send it to Decisions.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: Pod at gmail dot com, and we'll give y'all our
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: unofficial expert advice on whatever the fuck you are having
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: a dilemma with uh. This one was interesting because it
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: takes us on a little curveball, which I enjoyed while
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: I was.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Reading I'm all curby like I did, Let's do it.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: So I ended up breaking up with my high school
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: sweetheart and my daughter's dad. Look at it, here we go,
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: baby daddy's after years of feeling like I wasn't being
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: chosen or prioritized. Damn, you gave that nigga a whole
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: kid and don't feel chose a prot I see what
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: I mean.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Anyway, we had talked about it.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: This time, I'm just saying I don't care. That's what
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: they be doing. That's why I don't want one. We
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: had talked about it multiple times, but nothing really changed.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: About five days after we broke up, he went on
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: a trip back to our hometown that had already been planned.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: I had a feeling that trip would tell me everything
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: I needed to know, and it did. A few weeks later,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I found out he flew his coworker out there and
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: also had another woman from back home around his family.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: He was apparently telling people we had broken up. Well,
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: bit y'all did. When I first wrote in I talked
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: about never being courted, no flowers, no dates, no intentional
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: one on one time. Then I found out he booked
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: a waterfront hotel and dinner for his coworker. That honestly
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: confirmed everything I've been feeling about never being chosen. After that,
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: I started taking someone new more seriously. We've been dating
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: for about three months and things are moving fast. We're
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: talking about moving in together and even small matching tattoos.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I know I ain't gonna hold you. I'd have made that.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: One of my uh you know, like I don't want kids,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: I don't want to move in, I don't want certain things.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I don'm told you don't want to put a nigga
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: name on you? No, no, no, no, not named. I Don'm
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: told both niggas we need matching tattoos. Y yeah, yeah,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: I said, we just got to do match and tattoos.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: I said, I don't care it's a little king and queen.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: I don't care if it's something gotta match.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I did feel like once I had a matching tattoo,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I was like, we're like.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for life, And I said, and I'm fine with
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: tattoos are friends and both and both my.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I got matching tattoos. With friends. Well one ain't even
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: a friend no more. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I only know Crystal. No I have another one. But uh, anyways, anyways,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: let's not go too much on it. I actually.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: To me and my mom get one, me and my
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: sister got Yeah. I got his tattoos with a couple
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: of people, but not none of my niggas. Anyways, this thing,
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: the thing is I genuinely love who he is and.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: How he treats me.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: So my question is, can feelings this strong after only
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: three months be real?
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Is it possible this is genuine love?
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: Or am I subconsciously using this relationship to get over
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: someone I spent the last ten years with. Side note,
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: my ex and I still live together and things eventually
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: became physical after he found out I was seeing someone else.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Ooh, that completely closed the door for me.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: And I know that situation has made me even more
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: ready to move out. But I also know my feelings
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: for this new person feel very real, and I'm trying
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: to figure out if I'm seeing this clearly.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, Now, I don't know if you gonna like what
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I have to say.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, I was gonna say what you have to say
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: go because you just met this man three months ago.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: In your mind, you're second guessing if this just feels
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: good because it's the next person you're running to right
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: after this person.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: But the fact that y'all are also talking about moving
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: in together.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: I need to know if that was before or after
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: the physical abuse from the baby daddy that you've been
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: with for the last decade that you still live with,
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: because this could all genuinely just be a trauma and
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: emotional response knowing that you and this guy are just
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: enjoying time with each other. You could be what's the
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: word when you make things bigger than what they really are.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: And not imagining where would to eat or some emphasize
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: maybe no, no, you could be whatever you could be
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: doing you can yet there you go. I knew it
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: started with eat.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: You could be exaggerating even the great treatment that you're
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: feeling from this person, also knowing and feeling hurt by
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: your ex and baby Daddy showing up for women in
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: ways he didn't show up for you, like, So this
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: could be you literally creating a scenario that is making
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: you feel like you're getting a better treatment and a
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: better relationship and have an opportunity to leave a now
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: situation that you now emotionally know is absolutely over, especially
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: because he put his hands on you.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: So I don't even know where to start.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Because once you said the book, the waterfront hotel and
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: all that, I was done.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: But he ain't do that for you. Let me tell you.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Now, y'all know I ain't scared to lose itaga. However,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I hope he never hears this. But I've had this
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: conversations with my friends so many times because people in
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: open relationship, people that are in open relationships always have
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: to explain.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: How you could cheat.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Cheating us is mainly lying or crossing a boundary. Yes,
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: now what I forget.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: I'd let me find something out now someone else without
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: finding it out from you.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: So I had this conversation with somebody that was like, y'all,
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: are Hella in love?
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And everybody that's around us can see that.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: What if there was a time and a place where
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: you wanted to.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Be monogamous, because right now we both love what.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: We're doing, and he stepped outside of that, would you
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: believe that he wouldn't do you dirty? I was like,
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: of course, I don't think he could, Like bitch on
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: my Sorry, I almost sid the R word.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I feel like anybody could lie.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: The only things that I feel guaranteed in knowing I
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: don't have a shysty nigga.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: And by that I mean.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I really believe I could be at a party with
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: my man and a girl could be holding her titties
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: in her hand and want to fuck him in the bathroom.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: He'd be like, let me, let me go, get my
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: bitch hold on. She real cool. He doesn't want to
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: embarrass me. He's a very loyal man.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: He really takes pride in making sure we honor each other.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I made a joke once, like, you know, you don't
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: be taking good pictures, and he was like, don't be
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: saying that in front of people. Don't ever put me
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: like diet And I was like over pictures. He's like,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: you don't understand. We uplift each other at all times,
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Like we always have to make sure that what we
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: put out into this world, celebrating each other, loving on
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: each other, is always speaking highly and positive. And that
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: was really early on in our relationship. And so what's
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: translated to that is respecting me. I'm going as far
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: as to say, if I found out myni was fucking
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: a bitch back home wherever that could be.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get mad.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: But whatever, if I found out a waterfront hotel, hold
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: on waterfront waterfront.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: I tied this motherfucking baby, this baby cry, I got
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: stretch marks, and I'm.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Gonna tell you why. I think that's disrespectful.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I think there are so many ways that we could
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: tell someone to show up for us, and once they
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: sharp start doing so much shit, that's a big fuck
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: you because saying.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Like oh no, no, no, what do you mean this?
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: This? That?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: But it's so simple for you to do it with
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: someone else.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, not only that, you leaving out the other
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: disrespectful part, the hitting bitch.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: He brought a whole I mean, the physical abuse is
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: not a feel like we're having a conversation anymore.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Like brought a whole bitch around the family, bitch. They've
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: been together for the last ten years and got kids,
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: so you know the family ran back to the family.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: I made a joke about the waterfront hotel of the family.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: That's why I had my said, did it? That's embarrassing, bitch.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: So five days after we broke up, you paraded another
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: bitch in front of the family that I've known for
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: the last ten years.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: My nigga, I don't like having a plot niggas mergers,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: and that's what I'm saying about, Like, Yeah, you made
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: me a joke the Waterfront Hotel. I'm being silly, but
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: having people around a woman that I will now be
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: around makes me a joke. And now you've embarrassed me
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: and to take me to the point where I'm a
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: fucking joke.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm done to me.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been through physical abuse and I've been so
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: emotionally hurt by people. It's not that I would ever
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: want to go back, but I can remember more painful
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: wounds from the way that men have treated me versus
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: being hit by one. And there's something about physical abuse
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: for anyone that's ever experienced it. I will definitely have
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: to put a trigger warning in this where it's like
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: sometimes the words could deeper, dog like the way niggas
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: will talk to you, the way they say unforgivable shit.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: It's hard the way they do unforgivable shit, you know
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: what I mean.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Like, I think that's always been the thing for me,
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: and maybe this is me coming from my friends having
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: the most Foullus mouths to me. Yeah, I mean, and
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: this also comes from again, my own ignorance. In my
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: experience ever had a man put his hands on me.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: So for me, there's been things said that somehow I've
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: been forgiven.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I I don't know how I.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: Would ever forgive a man who put hands on me.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: Like that's something that I mean. And maybe that comes
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: from you again because they'll do it again. But no,
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: but that's what I'm saying, Like they're gonna do it again.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: I have never heard the nigga plays his hands on you.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: He gonna do it again.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: And sometimes it gets to where not only does it
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: get worse, they start using weapons.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: They like, oh, I know what I was trying to
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: say when I said that. Okay, you leave a nigga
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: quicker when they hit you.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: But sometimes you should. You should.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: But for some reason, when we get in a bad
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: argument or whatever, we forgive somebody. But then you're like, fuck,
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: but you did that thing. But you said that thing
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: because we think the highest patina of pain is physical,
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: and it's really not. And that's why when we had
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: the I'm not scared to lose a nigga conversation and
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. And she said he could
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: hit me, and I'm he's dead, which I believe. I
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: don't think Tara would take a man being abusive to her. However,
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: verbal abuse is another fucking layer there is.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: I do think it does, though, depend on on what
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: said and I say this, And what's crazy is hearing
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: you say this is because oh and maybe it's because
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: we're so good right now and somehow we've gotten past it.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I've said some awful things to you about you that
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: should have been unforgiving and vice versa. But I think
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: we were able to get over that bitch if we like,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: got into a physical if I'm not like what we did,
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: get into a physical fight, never mind, don't mind me.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: He was like, we see, we cannot talk about abuse anymore.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: We in our relationship have had verbal emotional like we've
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: had all the abuses financial, We don't did all the
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: abuses to each other.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: At one point I used to feel like, remember fight,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: which I forgot.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: I forgot we got in a physical fight. We can't
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: talk about this anymore.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Never mind. We don't know if it's his sister. We
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: just know you shouldn't be with him. That's all we know, just.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Don't be But also the question is, yes, you can't
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: fall for somebody within three months. Yes it could be real,
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: it could last long. You could get married and have
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: cute little kids later, all the things. However, right now
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: you are experiencing being hurt both physically and emotionally from
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: someone that not only you gave a child to, but
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: someone you spent the last decade of your life with.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: So I don't even know how it woud feel about
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Heim the kid like bro, yeah, like so to me,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: and you still live with this nigga.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Physical abuse is so scary now that I'm about to
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: get married. You know, you talk about pre nups and
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: post nups and all the shit.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Right, Oh, I'll put I will put that enough. Do
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Physical abuse is something that is when it was coming
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: up in the cussion, not with him, Like I was
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: just looking at stuff and I was like, it's so
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: far removed from my brain on this person. I know,
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: holy shit, what would my life be like? I see
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: him interact with his nieces, he's such a soft and
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: gentle uncle.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: See him with his.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Mother, How that I would fuck my head up. I
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: can't imagine the pain you're experiencing for the person you've
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: known ten years, and for the first time he ever
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: did this. I really have a lot of empathy. I
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: don't think it's the first time you see in his rage.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I think it's the first time.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: He laid the hands on you, because, bitch you look at.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: He could sit here and parade another bitch around your family,
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: He could take another bitch to a waterfront hotel and
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: you tell him you got somebody in the picture, And
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: now you want to motherfucking bruised ego, ass faced ass
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: fuck ass puss ass watherfucker like. This is what I'm saying.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Niggas can't get take what they dish out. Break up
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: with that nigga, I say, move on, But I will
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: say that you need time to heal, because I don't
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: think that you need to sit here and find someone
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: to just be a rebound who's gonna like You need
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: to find yourself and be whole as a single mother,
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: as a woman who knows what she's not gonna deal
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: with again. And I think you can still keep seeing
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: this guy. I think three months is way too early
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: to move in with somebody, nigga, way way too early,
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: way too early.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: John shouldn't have had a roommate moving in three months. No,
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: three months is way.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Too Actually we're still friends. But other than that.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: No coming from a bitch who in the last two
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: three years know about three bitches that the may babies
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: with a nigga.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: They knew it for three months and it didn't end well.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: So see movingy lives in Atlanta. You see what's going on?
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: No, no, this is this is Florida shit. This is California.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Shit.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Isn't he in Georgia? No to Florida.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: Shits not California shit. Yeah, No, this the other state ship.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: This ain't no Atlanta ship. Don't be trying to put
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: everything on the a hole anyway, though, happy to your way, bitch,
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: I'm lying. One is Alena?
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: You right? You was right? You was right and was
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I had to think about it and as did do that.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: From tender terrible All right, yeah girl, she found out
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: here a whole new nigga.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Chad already know. Okay here all right, Well y'all, if
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: you want our.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Advice, please say please send your letter into Decisions pod
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: at gmail dot com Again. You can catch us every
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Monday wherever you get your favorite pods. Decisions Decisions on Mondays,
• 24:33
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• 24:38
  Speaker 3: here on Wednesdays, and if you want to watch.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: The full video, join us on Patreon.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: Anyways, guys, were gonna holler up. We gonna see you
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: by my guys