Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Andy Hutsell -Dealing with Pressure And Instilling Grace

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Andy Hutsell -Dealing with Pressure And Instilling Grace · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_04: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_05: And this is my dad's show.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_05: Hey everybody, it's Casey J.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_05: Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_05: Welcome to season seven.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_05: Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_05: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_05: It's a podcast where we we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_05: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_05: I think he can make a uh a double tall knock at latte back in the day.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_05: His skills at Starbucks and Blackbird Coffee, I think, um are still something I'm impressed with.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_05: But uh his name is Andy Hutzel, and he is uh a staffing beast at the wide world uh of Ronstad.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_05: And I've got to know him over the last uh few years.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_05: We're gonna we're I'm actually a few months.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_05: Uh he might be Thunder the Bobcat.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not sure if that's true or not.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_05: We're gonna find out.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_05: Um but with all that said, that's not why we're having Andy on.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_05: We're gonna have Andy on it because we want to learn about Andy the Dad and how he's working hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_05: So further ado, Mr.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_05: Hudson, welcome to the quarterback cast.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, thanks for having me.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_04: That's uh that's a a first in introductions for me.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_05: I totally it took every ounce to not laugh.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_05: And that when's the last time that you've had your barista skills mentioned?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_04: I think my wife will order something and I'm like, you know what, I could have made that better.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_04: So it's more me being judgy than it's actually using my skills.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_04: Uh but I will say the the coffee business gave me one heck of a short-term memory recall.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_04: Because when I hear people's lunch orders or coffee orders, it's like, no problem, I got it.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_05: Well, believe it or not, I don't think no, if you know this, but I I I too have barista skills.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I mean back in 1991.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_04: Where you're located makes sense.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_04: I I think it's a rite of passage.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_04: Like you have to you have to have barista skills to live where you do.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_05: That's a good point.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_05: I literally, high school, aroma's coffee.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_05: Shout out to Romas, they're out of business right now.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_05: I maybe I was the reason why they went out of business, but um actually a random story.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_05: This is uh I actually got one of my very first times I got in trouble at a at a job because I was like the guy, like when people come and get their stamps, like on the you know, the coffee card.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_05: Sometimes I just say, you know what, you're a nice guy.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna give you two stamps today.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_05: Double tap it, yeah.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, why just send some good love?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_04: Well that that was the foundation of winning the relationship, not the deal.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_04: 100%.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_04: I started just a full circle for you there.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_05: But it actually backfired on me because I I had a lady who I double stamped, she actually went and told my boss, hey, I only paid for one, he double stamped me.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_05: And so they took like a dollar forty-eight out of my paycheck because I did it.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's poor leadership in my mind.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_05: Well, maybe it's my eight.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe they were really struggling and they needed that dollar forty-eight.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, we're already off the off the rails.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_05: We're gonna bring it back.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_05: We always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_05: Tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_04: Oh man.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_04: My first thing came to mind is my son.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_04: He had his first basketball tryout yesterday afternoon.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_04: Sweet.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_04: He doesn't know the results, and he was nervous.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_04: But the trust and the openness and just getting able to speak into a being able to speak into a situation with a a nine-year-old boy for fourth grade basketball tryouts.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_04: My heart was full yesterday.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_04: And we're all like nervous here at the house.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_04: I was just talking to my wife over lunch, and uh, we're like, is it okay if we're nervous?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_05: Well, the the best news about the trout, it's the sun's gonna come up tomorrow.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_05: And it doesn't define him.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_05: And what it's a win either way.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_05: It's a win if he doesn't make it because he put himself out there.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_05: If a win he makes it, because now he's part of a team.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_05: And if he doesn't make it, he there's other teams you can go play, try out on.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_05: But I just that's awesome.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_04: Um well to that point, that was that was what our conversation was about an hour ago, which is uh pausing just long enough to sit in the emotion and comfort without having to teach a life lesson.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm so grateful for slowing down thinking about a conversation before it needs to or may not even happen.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe we celebrate the whole time, right?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_04: But just being uh gratitude is really just my wife and my son, just this whole situation's brought up intentionality in the past 24 hours, and that feels really good.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_05: Love it, man.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_05: That's great.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_05: Well, we are recording in December, everybody.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_05: This episode will come out in January, and I have my so what I'm grateful for is I got the whole family back home.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_05: My son's home from college.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_05: Um I he's actually gonna play golf today.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, we both we both got the invite, but I have work stuff to do, so I can't.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_05: But he's gonna go play golf today.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_05: And then we got my daughter's, I got a high high school basketball game we gotta go watch tonight, and um which will be super fun.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_05: And then me and my son are playing golf tomorrow morning with my his my buddy, his girlfriend's dad.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_05: And then we'll go to another high school basketball game tomorrow afternoon, which is gonna be a freaking great game.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_05: Should be.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_05: Um, we're playing a two, we're a four-A high school, they're a two-way high school, it's they're two A state champs last year.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_05: They have like three or four D1 girls on their team.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_05: Um five or five of six girls on my daughter's team are all playing college basketball next year, so it should be a really, really good game.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm grateful for that this weekend.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_04: That's uh I love that about the holidays, right?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_04: It's like full force work and full force family, just in this big gigantic blend of fun and time together, and you're gonna be screaming your head off tomorrow, I'm sure.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_05: I know.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I'm I'm like the guy in Hoosiers.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_05: What do you got?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_05: Pigeon shit in your eye?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_05: I'm getting teed up and kicked out.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_05: I won't.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_04: All right, I have I have a question for you.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_04: Uh are you one of those that's like your voice carries in a in a basketball stadium or an arena?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_04: Where like, or are you just like a silent observer, just completely locked in?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_05: I I do a little bit of both, I think, because this is Uncle Rico moment to answer that question, because I played quarterback.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_05: I have a over them their mountains.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, throw ball with that mountain.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_05: I I can I can project aloud because I had to at a stadium, but um, I definitely cheer.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I do my best.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_05: I've gotten a lot better early in my dad career.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_05: I was a dad that would like light up refs, but then I remembered that they're never gonna apologize to me during the game and and put time back on the clock and say they messed up.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_05: Um that that never happens as a dad, as a ref.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_05: So but yeah, I cheer and um uh it's fun.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_05: I just try to enjoy the moment and I always remind myself and my kids that dad has no eligibility left.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_05: Um there to support you and keep it fun and uh realize that this does not define us.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_05: Well, bring me inside the Hudsle huddle.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_05: You're we uh so you're we're gonna put you a quarterback.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_05: I'm I'm assuming your wife's the general manager.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_05: Um but talk about each member of the squad and uh how you and your wife met.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_04: Well, Anna and I met uh we were born in the same hospital two weeks apart way back when.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah, so uh I suppose we were destined to meet up later in life, but um I'm a father of three, so I have a son who's nine, a daughter who's six, and another daughter who's four.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_04: And they are blonde-haired, full force hurricanes of joy and life and opinion and energy.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_04: And uh yeah, I mean, it is that's a great way to describe uh the household most times.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_04: And we're the um we're the either the idiots or the really smart people that bought a house that needed a bulldozer and a match, but decided to renovate it instead, and in so doing created an open concept as we were just starting our journey into parenthood.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_04: And now with the five of us in an open concept home, it is chaos with echoes, which is great.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_04: It's uh you really wouldn't want it, I wouldn't want it any other way, honestly.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_05: Love it.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_05: And um so you had where'd you meet though, you and Ann?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay, so um our circle's kind of touched growing up in the same community.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_04: Um, our parents knew each other through church events or you know, just high school.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_04: We we were not high school sweethearts, but our circles kind of touched.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_04: And um I was her little brother's young life leader.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: So he's four years younger than she is.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_04: After college, she went off to the University of Tennessee, said, Sayonara to Atlanta.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'm never coming back, I'll never date somebody from high school, uh, which is you know hilarious foreshadowing.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and then I was her I was her younger brother's young life leader, and um him and his buddies, his little group of friends I got to pour into and try to walk with through those incredibly formative years of high school.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_04: And I was I was dating somebody else, and and one day her brother's like, hey, like you should date my sister.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, Yeah, okay, whatever.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_04: And uh she came back from Tennessee over, I guess it was summer break, and one of her friends came over to my house with a buddy of mine.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_04: We were sitting in the garage, just kind of hanging out, and she pulls up, and it was like, was it Wiley Coyote where like his eyes would pop out of his head?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_04: Like weird, you know, like it was just one of those moments where I was like, holy cow! And so that was in um, that was 2007, and she was going off to work at a camp that summer.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: I was going off to work at a family farm in Texas that summer, and this might have been like a day or two before we left town, and um just couldn't stop thinking about her.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_04: So I pursued her on on the Facebook and life circumstance, she'd moved from Knoxville to Athens to go to UGA.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_04: I had moved um from Atlanta to Athens as my parents were leaving Atlanta for my dad's work, and all of this destiny just sort of put us in the same town, and I said, Hey, like, I don't know anybody up there, let's let's meet up.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_04: And within a week, we went from being friends to dating and dated for five years, been married for 13.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_05: Now, was this before you were Thunder of the Bobcat?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_04: It was before, yeah.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's a whole story in and of itself.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_04: But so you know, she she hit the exit button on Gwinnett County or like out just outside of Atlanta where we were both from, uh, with plans never to come back.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_04: I chose to stay.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't really apply to any colleges.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_04: I went to a community college because I really wanted to be a young life leader.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_04: A huge part of my I didn't feel called, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I didn't know what major.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_04: I just felt like, man, like I'll just do this and then figure it out.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um so in that season, moving from junior college into four-year bachelor's degree, it was a series of collegiate transfers and city moves that I became a bobcat.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know why, but I love researching when I interview people, they're mascot.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_05: And I I I and I've interviewed 300 and some odd dads, and I've always I've yet to meet someone who actually is the mascot.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_05: No.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_05: You're not thunder the bobcat, is what you're saying.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_04: Very atypical college experience.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_04: I've never lived in a dorm, I never partied, I never did, you know, the whole you know, fraternity scene.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_04: Like I just by the time I was at GCSU, I was very serious about school.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_04: I spent my Friday nights in the library, I worked at the coffee shop, and you know, my my plan was to get out of there as quick as possible while playing a little bit of catch up.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_05: And you so you were not Frank the Tank?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_04: Is that you're saying I was not Frank the Tank, but uh oddly enough, I could I openly say this I failed out of junior college, and people are like, whoa, how did that happen?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_04: You must have partied a lot.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, no, I was doing like youth ministry.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_04: So I would skip class and I would go to Emory's Theological Library, I would study, I was just so engulfed in this zone of my immediate area of interest and where I could make influence that I forgot greater responsibility.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_04: And I really grew up.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um I I was, you know, sort of like a ship without a rudder, and then all of a sudden it was like, you know what?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_04: No, like where I'm at is where I need to be, and excellence where you're at is exactly what being an adult means and wisdom looks like.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_04: And I took it just that that whole summer from meeting Anna at the beginning of that summer 2007, spending that summer in Texas at our family farm, uh, one semester after that, and then going to Georgia College.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, that was just a massive time of transformation for me and really growing up, which I love.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_04: So very atypical collegiate experience, but got the degree nonetheless and share that story all the time.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_05: Now you're a big boy, just making it rain.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_05: So we got a nine-year-old Hooper.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_05: Talk about your your daughters.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_05: What what what fills their um tank of fun?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I'll start with my youngest because she when I say like Hurricane of Joy, I'm I'm talking about Hurricane Hayden.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_04: And she's four.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_04: She can tackle her older brother.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_04: Um I don't know where she gets it because like she like nobody's overly like girly or overly you know man like manly here at the house.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_04: We're just a good middle of the road family.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_04: But this girl wears high heels and pink sunglasses and floofs her hair, and like I just I don't know where it comes from, and it's so funny and cute, but she's just all personality.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sure it has something to do with being the youngest, you know, competing for attention with the older two.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_04: Um but I mean she just she loves her family, and I think that's a sign of a healthy house.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_04: And she is interested in everything.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, uh playing babysitter, playing doctor, doing yard work, uh wrestling her brother, I mean, like you name it, she's into it.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_04: Merritt, my middle child, is uh she's incredible, she's gorgeous, she's smart, uh, she's kind.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: Uh she's had uh from the moment she was born uh an extremely rare genetic uh uh diagnosis.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_04: Like one in a million people have it.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_04: So much so where like the neurologist at the children's hospital here like had to go look it up, and for the past few years has like been doing research himself because like it's just not taught in schools.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_04: And you would never know it looking at her, and she's she's extremely fortunate where it's not more of an inhibitor than it could be in terms of like daily physical life or learning development, those types of things.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_04: But it's certainly been something that's been present from her feeding as a as a an infant all the way to now being in first grade with you know predisposition predisposition towards ADHD or behavior issues, those types of things.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_04: And so learning how to parent three kids as unique individuals while really focusing on health advocacy, and this is all my wife, like all the credits to her, because she is just naturally gifted and so kind and patient with it.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_04: But I mean, it it's it's been a journey in and of itself.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_04: But she's really into she loves arts and crafts, she loves music, she loves singing.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_04: She just got her ears pierced over Thanksgiving break, um, which I was like so surprised by because any sort of pain she hates.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_04: But she was such a trooper.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and you know, she's I think she's kind of figuring out her place, and maybe that's a middle child thing, maybe that's some of the the genetic thing, but like that transition from like five-year-old to seven-year-old are my some of my favorite years with kids because they're they're still sweet and they want to snuggle, but they're they're you can take them out, they can walk next to you, you don't have to carry them all the time.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_04: She's my buddy, we get to do things together.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_04: So being really intentional with her has been really sweet this year.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_05: If you feel comfortable, uh can you share more about this genetic disorder if it might help someone else?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, totally.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_04: So would she so my we we had Shep um and he was the easiest baby, like sleep trained by himself, like within six weeks, you know, hit all the milestones, feeding like everything, piece of cake.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_04: We always knew we wanted more than one.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and so when Anna was pregnant with Merritt, you know, no issues, no genetic, nothing, like everything was great.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and is Anna was uh ready to go, ready to pop, and contractions were like starting to set in.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_04: They went from like 30 minutes to 15 minutes to like every two minutes, like just sequentially.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_04: And normally you have more time than that.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I was like, we're getting in the car, we're going now.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_04: So we get in the car, you know, pretty quick trip to the hospital, but Merritt was born within 13 minutes of us arriving there.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_04: Anna wasn't Anna was not ready for her to come out, but Merritt's umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, her heartbeat beat was fading, like a very traumatic.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like so no epidural, no nothing, like a completely unplanned natural delivery.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_04: So just kind of a traumatic experience, certainly for mom, and obviously for baby too.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_04: She came out, you know, real blue looking and was like, okay, does she need to go to ICU?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_04: And fortunately, she didn't.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, our stay in the hospital was normal.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_04: But then over the next few weeks, we're like, why can she not gain weight?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_04: Why is she not feeding well?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and that just led to a series of, well, maybe it's a tongue tie, or maybe it's a lip tie, or maybe it's just, you know, feeding therapy, or it's just this whole sequence of trial and error, you know, and just for a mom, not just a mom of an infant, but like when you've got multiple kids, when you've had babies, having you everybody has expectations, you know, and you think, oh, like, thank God the baby's healthy and safe.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_04: Like, now we can move on.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_04: And so just hit after hit after hit of not getting answers, not seeing improvement, wondering what's going on led to uh neurology, led to cardiology, led to any number of things.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_04: And so it's just been this journey of um this this the syndrome, the syndrome's called KBG syndrome.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_04: KBG.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry, Kate.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_04: Which one's the Russian uh CIA?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_04: Is that KBG?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_04: KGB.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so this is KBG.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_04: She's well, not yet, but she has like this stone cold personality where she might be.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but yeah, I mean, like, so so other things too, right?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_04: I guess backing up, like I don't remember her laughing her first year of life.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_04: And she would have these moments of like just these like gray-eyed stares, and she wasn't having seizures, she wasn't uh like unconscious, it wasn't any so we we had all that tested, you know, but it was just like this like where did Merit go for a second?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_04: Um and that's just all very common with with KBG, and uh, like I said, I mean nobody had heard of it.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_04: Like our pediatrician never heard of it.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_04: The neurologist, like how do you test for blood?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um, genetic testing.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_04: Like, like they swab the mouth, swab the mouth of parents, make sure it's not hereditary.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_04: So she just had this small little you know mutation in one of her her genetics.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_04: Jeans that, you know, when God created her, just a little thing happened, and that's a unique part of her story, which is not traumatic.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_04: It was it was hard on us, it was really hard on Anna to figure it out.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_04: And the journey itself has been difficult.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_04: But she's, you know, when people say one in a million, like she really is.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_04: And not everybody gets to put that on their resume and lead with that.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_04: But like I said earlier, it's um it's been such a blessing to just have to learn how to love on somebody where they're at and how to learn to thrive in a marriage, given all the difficulty and hardship.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_04: And so everybody's presented these same types of things or similar types of things.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: That's just been our story with merit.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_04: We call her mighty merit.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_04: But I mean, you know, when one day when you meet her, you'll see she's just this spunky little creative, just strikingly beautiful kid.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_04: And some of the way her face is shaped or her mouth, or like her teeth, or her eyebrows, even like you would never know, but like there's these little hints that are like, oh, okay, like that that's in line with KBG.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_04: And then obviously, you know, as we she gets older and in school with social or with education or behavioral attention type things, like these, these she's predisposed to any number of things, and we're we're a little bit ahead of that, but a lot of it's just wait and see and deal with it as it comes.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_05: And do you treat do they treat it with medicine or is it just is it too new to like getting how to treat it?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_04: There's there's no treatment for genetic conditions.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_04: There's symptomatic therapy and there's symptomatic potential medication.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like like any kid with ADHD, an option is medication, right?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_04: So it's more of a symptomatic and as they come treatment.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_04: But what the the biggest blessing in all this, and like we keep reminding ourselves, is that like the the state that she's in now, as far as like her genetic makeup, will never degrade.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_04: So it's not like something is you know, some big hairy monsters looming around the corner that we don't see.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, I mentioned cardiologist earlier, like her heart is missing one aortic valve compared to the others, you know, and so that has nothing to do with longevity in life, that has nothing to do with her ability to play sports or play on the playground.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean she's really not inhibited.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_04: It's just a matter of learning how to parent and get her wound up in the right direction and in a unique way to her.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_05: Interesting.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I appreciate you sharing that, man.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_05: I've never I've never heard of that, but it's um maybe there's another another parent that's listening that run run runs across it if they end up connecting with you, it's you know, we're building a community.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_05: Please do building a community.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_05: So um, Andy, take me back to what was life like growing up for you and the impact mom and dad had on you from a values perspective.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_04: So my dad was remote before remote was a thing.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_04: He was in uh he's in the plant business, the nursery business, and he was in sales.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_04: So of all of my family, I'm like the only one born east of the Mississippi in, I don't know, 100 plus years.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody's from Texas or Wyoming or Missouri, Iowa.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_04: And he moved east right before I was born and had an extremely successful sales career.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_04: So growing up was sweet because uh, whenever he had a tough customer, he'd bring me along.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_04: And I was this little spunky blonde-headed hurricane like my youngest uh that broke down doors and uh he would check me out early to get out of school early sometimes to go play golf with a customer and just a very sweet, awesome time having my father present.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_04: Every Saturday was yard work day, and we had a pretty big yard.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_04: He, you know, is in the plant business, so it was always planting this or redoing this bed or you know, doing some crazy big hardscape project.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_04: So I learned those skills from a very young age, and I really was just gravitated towards it.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm I'm I'm pretty good with my hands.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um I had a I had a handyman job in high school, by the way.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_04: They called me handy andy.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_04: Um but yeah, I mean, as a as a kid, um I I have an older brother, he's three years older than me, and competing with him quite a bit, um, just because I we I grew up in a neighborhood where there were kids his age and older.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_04: There were no kids my age.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_04: So you know, my best friend as a young child was my brother's best friend.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and I actually think uh well, I I don't think I know that that was formative for me because a lot of my friends have always been at a phase of life ahead of me, which um just like a throwback to the young life thing after high school, it's because all of my friends were graduating college and wanted to be young life leaders.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_04: So I think that's been a theme just in terms of life experience or that maybe the things that I'm thinking about, or even just some early onset wisdom that has occurred in my life.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_04: It's be really because of that, because from a young age, all my friends were older.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I think a part of that too was how open my dad and mom have been with um the lessons they learned when they were kids, the mistakes they made.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_04: And it was really preventative.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_04: Their openness was preventative for me for a lot of hardship and mistakes a lot of kids would make.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_04: Um I've never been great at sports.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_04: My parents put us in sports.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_04: I played high school football, I got a state ring as a as a bench warmer.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, my my grandparents never have lived close, but for a season they did.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_04: I I grew up playing golf, I loved golf, um loved yard work, loved anything outdoors, just with my dad being from Wyoming and grew up fly fishing, doing all that.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_04: So I had a I had a very easy childhood.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um easy in the sense that like we we were never left wanting.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_04: We always had what we need.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_04: The outdoors were always close, and I had two parents that loved me.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_04: It was great.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me about mom.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_04: Mom is a warrior, a quiet one, where if there's a gene that gives personality, like mine and my youngest daughter Hayden probably comes from her, just spunk, like just controlled wildness.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_04: Um you like when you meet somebody, you just like gosh, like that's you're just kind of drawn to my mom because she's kind and she's also crazy, like in a good way.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_04: Um when I was when I was young, she went back to nursing school, um, probably three, two, three years old.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_04: She went back to nursing school, graduated, worked for about a year, and then was diagnosed with cancer.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_04: And seeing her, you know, it was thyroid cancer, so removed half her thyroid, had the other half removed, uh, maybe a couple of years later.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_04: Just deal with with what life is like without your body's pharmacy, because the thyroid is basically what regulates hormones and chemical within your body.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so you know, she was a stay-at-home mom, dad worked, uh, she loved yard work too.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, my house was always the house growing up uh where everybody would sort of converge on, and I think in large part it's because my mom was so fun, very loving, very considerate, very clean.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, gosh, like one of those ultra-organizers, ultra cleaners.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and it just, you know, her standard for running a house was is just top, top notch.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_04: And I I loved that because I I knew that I could show her love, especially when she was going through cancer.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_04: But anytime I felt like my mom needed to feel love, all I had to do was clean to her standard, and it was just like speaking her language.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_05: Um is the cancer gone?
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, cancer's been gone for her 20, probably 20 years, if if not more.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_04: Um certainly, you know, again, like without having your body's pharmacy uh attached, there's been you know medicine, you know, changes and this and that, but yeah, like she's she's doing great.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_04: Awesome.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_05: How does how does one get into the nursery remote sale selling business?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_05: You ever asked your dad that?
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so uh he and my mom met at Texas Tech.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_04: They're they both were in Dallas at that time, their families, and then they both went to Texas Tech, and there's a big horticulture program out there.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_04: And uh side note, so like when my dad was in the hort program at Texas Tech, he had a side job um planting vineyards.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_04: So apparently in West Texas, there's like this really good zone to grow like almost Napa Valley equivalent grapes.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_04: And in the 70s, he planted almost all of the grapes at the big farms there.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_04: And I I I don't know, I don't know why he chose horticulture.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_04: I guess it was being outside or working with plants, just being in, you know, loving outdoors as a kid, maybe.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know, but um that translated into a couple jobs after college of working at different nurseries or um working at landscape crews throughout college.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_04: Um he had a a couple of you know jobs in between that, but really his degree led him to a company that's not around anymore.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_04: But he was there 28 years as like the top sales guy.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_05: If you think about um if you think about the values that your mom and dad instilled still knew that are really present top of mind for now you as a dad, tell me a couple that come to mind and maybe a story that backed up how you really learned those values.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_04: Faith.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's the biggest one because really with everything else leads towards like your relationship with God.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_04: And faith being what what draws you in or opens the door or shuts the door on key decisions in life has been how I was raised and how we've lived forever.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, it's easy to have Sunday faith, it's easy to have sunshine faith, um, but like the hardship, just just the hardship and rigors of life in general, and still having faith and still finding time to have your own relationship, but then to raise a family that doesn't just bounce on the surface of life but looks for depth, um, has all come from modeling what real faith looks like, not preaching it or Bible bashing it or demanding it, but just truly living it day in and day out.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_04: And that's that's easily the most impactful value.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um honesty and openness, like my parents, like I said, a lot of the trouble that I think I was prevented from making um was through the openness of my parents and them talking about their life before faith, their life in middle school, high school, you know, in college, even like what that looked like, you know, why why that had been there, the consequences of that, what they wish they had done differently.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_04: Um that that courage to be vulnerable and honest about that part of that season of their life, extremely impactful.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_04: And so there's probably a line you shouldn't cross with young, young children, but as I got older, I mean, gosh, just the stories they would share, or you know, there's nothing that my brother and I could do that they probably hadn't done.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_04: And so it was just one of those things where like we talked about it and we and we gamed it out logically, you know, like an if-then or cause and effect, or what's the predictable outcome if you make this decision?
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_04: So I was taught from a really young age to use my mind and to learn from other people's mistakes, which my dad and my dad and grandfather always said like wisdom is learning from other people's mistakes.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_05: Love that.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_05: Can you think of a time or a moment when that really kind of the light bulb went on, like, ooh, I get it.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_04: I would say my early college experience was the time where I I didn't learn from other people's mistakes.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_04: I had to make my own.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_04: And there's no shame in that.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, sure.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_04: Um there's no shame in that.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_04: There's no there's no there's no guilt in it.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so blessed and grateful to have had those experiences because um for as mad as my dad was when he found out I failed out of junior college, uh, he the first thing he did was like, okay, like if you want to go to college anymore, you're gonna pay for it.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_04: And the way that you're gonna start paying for it is that you're gonna have a hard reset at the farm in Texas.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_04: And I went and worked my fingers to the bone.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_04: But it was also the type of work that I loved doing, you know, and so as like I as I stretched fences or mowed big fields or dug a ditch around this gigantic farmhouse to prevent, like to put like chemicals down for bug control.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_04: It was that I had so much respect for how hard and how backbreaking manual labor is, but also I realized like it didn't want to do that.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um, at least in that season, right?
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_04: So the I mentioned that whole season just again, like it's it was so formative for me growing up.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and and I I describe this as like really the death of adolescence.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_04: And that's not a one-time thing that you put it to bed or put it out to pasture, but that was the season where it was like, okay, I I had I had you know from young childhood through 19 figured out.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_04: I knew how to do life there, and I could navigate any situation perfectly.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_04: And if I didn't do it perfectly, I at least could make it look like I had.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_04: When I turned 20, it was this oh crap moment of like, okay, my friend group are all in college.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_04: I'm here hanging out with, you know, other young life leaders that were post-college, and then I'm hanging out with high schoolers trying to pour into them.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, this is not who I want to be or what I want to do.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_04: And realizing it's like, okay, like to be taken seriously to myself and to actually move towards accomplishing what the next phase of life looked like, it was time to grow up and become a man.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_04: And when I say that, it's to set my mind on something and accomplish it.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_04: To realize that I was in a hole and that working my way out was possible, but it wasn't a quick fix.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_04: You couldn't just navigate your way around that situation.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_05: And what was something you set your mind to that you wanted to go do?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_04: Finish school.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and and to to do it well, right?
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_04: So, like the first year and a half of college, I don't even know what my GPA was, but it was it was bad enough where they were like 0.0.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, you gotta take you gotta take a semester off.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_04: Like I was I was voluntold to uh take a break.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_05: Take a breather, I'd shower up.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, right.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_04: And then it was like, hey, you can come back, but you can only take three classes because like you haven't shown academically that you are taking this seriously.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_04: And so from that, from that three class semester on, it was straight A's just I I loved it.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_04: I poured and and that, like I said, like I was skipping class to go to like Emory's Theological Library to study.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_04: So it's not that I didn't enjoy studying, it was just that I was so misaligned with future desire, future me, and what I wanted to do with current action.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_04: It was just worlds apart.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_04: And so to bring that back together and actually move in alignment, like I did really well in school.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everybody.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Craig Coe, and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, Beeline's history of first-to-market innovations has become today's industry standards.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: I get asked all the time, what did Casey do for your organization?
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this, it's simple.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: The guy Flat Out gets it, relationships matter.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: His down-to-earth presentation, his real world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, his book, Win the Relationship and Not the Deal, has become required reading for all new members of the Global Relationship Management Team.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know Casey Jacks, go to KCJcox.com and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to today's episode.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_05: As you and your wife are raising the kids now, um, are there any values that were that Anna's family taught that maybe the word is strong years, good or bad, but like that you guys have kind of like taken a little bit of what you've your childhood, a little bit of what her childhood, and yet said these are the three things that are gonna shape the Hudson family.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um so I I don't know if we have like a family motto that would incorporate like here's the three things we're about.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_04: But one of the things that I knew about Anna, just knowing her family and like sort of like our circles touching growing up, um that we were raised in a very similar type household, right?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_04: Where like the the the the core values and who we were, like from faith and uh the way we treat people and like any number of things were very similar.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_04: And and to the point where like I we dated, we dated from 2007 to 2012.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_04: We got married 2012, 2007 to 2010, it was like, oh, this is great.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_04: Like I'm finishing school, you're she finished school and was one year out.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like, this is just you know, great young 20s puppy love.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_04: And then all of a sudden one day, I was like deeply struck with emotion.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_04: I was even like crying.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, how incredible is it that of all the the people in the world, the two of us that were born in the same hospital two weeks apart, grew up on the same bus in kindergarten, and then whose lives sort of separated from there, with the exception of a few interactions, like we have the exact same values.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_04: And I was overcome with gratitude and a sense of just this is too good to be true, this must be a God thing, explicitly because of her family values matching the values I was raised in.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_04: I just thought that was very rare to find.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, I'm I'm gonna marry this girl.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_04: Love it.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_04: Love it.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_04: But to answer your question too, I mean, yeah, I mean, faith is a huge, I mean it's the leading indicator in our house, and everything is either for or against building faith.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um she's she's extremely wise, she's extremely gifted at communication, she does that for a living.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_04: And uh kind, like the word kindness is what she has like prayed for and how we've tried to raise our kids, just kindness and intentionality.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, hers is kindness, mine's probably intentionality.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm constantly telling my son, hey, like, you know, it's okay if you make an accident.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_04: Like, what are you doing to be on purpose then?
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and so like do we just talk about intentionality?
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_04: Because I was the way that I was raised that way, you know, logic logic-based cause and effect, consequence, or predictable outcome decision making as a way of coaching.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_05: Yep.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_05: It's um it's it's it's surprising and amazing how just the power of being nice is overrated.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_05: And um just being kind and going out of your way to do the little things because those are uncommon, is you know, most people sometimes do them, but but sometimes most people when they're driving, oh that mother effer cut me off, I'm gonna flip them off, or man, why did accounting mess up my paycheck?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_05: Well, they didn't wake up, that was our goal.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_05: These things happen.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_05: And so how do we do we have grace for people?
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_05: Do we give people the benefit of the doubt?
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_05: Do you forgive?
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, all these things that are like great life skills that sometimes aren't just taught.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_05: I mean aren't just like learned, you gotta teach them.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_05: And um so I model them.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, big time, even more important because our kids are watching more than we think.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_05: Um, more than they think.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_05: And I have 19-year-old and a 17-year-old.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_05: And I'd say, like, going through the craziness of youth sports, uh, the thing that fills my tank is like I had a situation recently where um actually this this book people can't see, but it's called The White Fang and the Golden Bear.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_05: This author named Joe Wessel.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_05: Shout out to Joe.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_05: He was he was a uh uh former guest on the podcast.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_05: Anybody's looking for a book, fantastic book on golf, fatherhood, sports.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_05: Um but anyway, he he sent, I told him about Ryder, and he sent Ryder a personalized book.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_05: Cool.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_05: Uh and so and and writer is not, I would say, a big reader.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_05: He he's he's um one that's I don't think he's the biggest academic.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_05: He's more like me, like an EQ guy versus versus IQ.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_05: But when he applies himself, he likes it.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_05: He just doesn't, I don't think he's found his like passion for like whatever sport is, I mean for um academics is yet.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_05: But anyway, I bring him up because he's writers, writer finishes the book, which I'm surprised he read it that quick.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_05: And he goes, Hey Dad, can you send me Mr.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_05: Wessel's email?
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, okay.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_05: So then Ryder, but not to me, sends him a thank you note and the impact the book had on him.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_05: And then Joe responds back, blind copies me.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, and then I hate to say it, but I was like, the email was written so well.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, Ryder, please tell me the look, I'm gonna look you in the eye.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_05: Did you write this or did Chad GPT write this?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_05: He goes, Dad, I swear to God.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_05: I go, I'm gonna ask you again.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_05: Did you write this?
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_05: He goes, Yes, I wrote.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, okay.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_05: And if you're lying, this is on you, but I believe you.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_05: I'm giving you the but it was very well written.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_05: And then I've seen since then him write a couple other emails.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, God, maybe he's maybe just how we talk to him, he's building these communication skills.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_05: Where anyway, so Joe sent me this note back saying, man, he goes, he has the it factor.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_05: Good job, mom and dad.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_05: And so it's like that's great.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_05: Oh god, just warm get goosebumps telling the story.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_05: So those are the things I think I just I love hearing um the things you and your wife are teaching, and and it's a journey, as you're gonna find out.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_05: You got you got some years ahead of you here, but um what would be one question I always like asking dads is an area of their dad game that maybe isn't quite where they want it to be.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I think one thing we all have in common is we're all flawed human beings.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_05: Um, mine uh as an earlier dad was sometimes the patience would get the best of me.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_05: My dad was really impatience, rest in peace, pop.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_05: Sorry to throw you on blaster, buddy.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_05: But um, but I think having this podcast and talking to so many dads, my patience has gotten a lot better.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um tell me a near your dad game that maybe could be tightened up a little bit that might speak to dads at home.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_04: If I'm not careful, I can get into survival mode where it's like just work, work, work, work, work.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_04: You start your day, you get your day going, you get the kids out the door, you get to work, you work all day long, kids are at home, they're happy to see you, you want to work some more.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_04: And if if they don't fall into line around my intention to be great at work and as a good leader, it's they're then inhibiting what I'm paying attention to.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_04: And that's been called to account plenty of times, thankfully by my wife, thankfully by myself, thankfully by you know, just introspection.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_04: But man, like if I don't actively choose to be intentional, I can find myself going many days or even a season without being proud of the way that I'm on purpose with my kids and the time and the attention.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_04: Um that, and then same with you know, patience, it's so funny because like people are like, hey man, like you're like you're really relaxed.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_04: Like you seem like so even killed.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, well, one, on the inside, I'm probably like the most anxious person I know.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_04: But then two, uh, it's easy to try to be dominant as not dictatorial, but dominant in terms of like what I say goes, and not leaving room for a kid to make mistakes or explore or just to be a kid.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_04: So it's like if and maybe it's just with the the amount of hours in a day and the lack of intentionality, it's okay, like I told you to do this and you're not doing it, like now you're in trouble, or now I'm gonna raise my voice, right?
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_04: Which I I hate because I've never been somebody that has had anger issues until I became a father.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_04: I had no idea that that was inside of me.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_04: And so like very actively guarding and and not exploding, but then even then, like the times where I do, it's learning how to say sorry quick very quickly.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: Do you turn an incredible Hulk?
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_03: Not often.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: How about that visual?
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_05: You turning green, just ripping your shirt off right now.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_04: You don't I'm I'm wearing a Pearl Snap, so I could, but you're not, I'm not going to.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_05: Uh well, I mean, man, that's gonna speak to a lot of dads at home.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_05: And if if as you're listening, dads, hope you're taking notes like I am.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_05: Um I think one of the biggest things I I one of my favorite words in life at the rip old age of almost 50 is give yourself grace.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_05: Give yourself grace.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_05: Man, we are there's no manual.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I had another dad that loved the story.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_05: He said he goes, you know, it's like when you when you become a dad and you leave the hospital, you don't have to pass a test.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_05: You don't have to parallel park, uh, you don't have to like do two plus two.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_05: It's like, all right, your dad.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_05: Congratulations.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_05: And you qualified or not, go get them.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_05: So it's like we are all gonna make mistakes.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_05: But I think what you said, and I actually had an episode earlier, shout out to Darren Balmores, my buddy, we did an episode just on the power of saying you're sorry.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_05: And what a gift that you can when you when you do mess up, make sure your kids understand why and what you what what you maybe have done differently and learn from me, son and daughter.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_05: Because shit, we're not perfect.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's that's been something that I've I've held on to is how fast I can turn around and not just make it right to smooth things over to keep the peace, but to like teach people, teach my kids, this is what it looks like when you make a mistake and you realize it, how to act, like with contrition and humility and you know, attention.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_04: I one thing I love about my kids is that anytime, whether justified, like any sort of punishment happens or or discipline happens, um, or if I make a mistake and I get too vocal, they always come up wanting hugs.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_04: They always want, you know, to be held.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_04: And I I I've read or heard somewhere that's like it's a it's a very healthy sign, even when you are disciplining your kids, that they want to be loved, they want to be in your presence.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_04: Um and and anytime, well, my youngest, like she's the only one where like one time that hasn't happened, I'm like, whoa, like I must have really screwed up here.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, so like it's been it's just been a journey, man.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_04: Like this, this just you know, Anna and I talk about this too, where it's like raising young kids over the course of 10 years, so three three kids under 10.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_04: We've we've had diapers for almost 10 years.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_04: And putting your own.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_04: Not yet.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but it's like this is just a season and it's gonna be gone so fast.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_04: And everybody says that, and it's hard to believe it until you're in it.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_04: But you know, I mentioned like my son having basketball trials and learning how to deal with anxiety around that, or you know, my six-year-old wanting to go on dad dates with me.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, the the baby years are almost behind us.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_04: And so to have to look back over the past 10 years and say, I wish I'd done that different.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody's gonna have that.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_04: But like I'm really happy with the character that exists within my kids and the personalities that are blossoming, how Anna and I have come together through hardship.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and like I said, like our home is a hurricane of joy most of the time.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_04: So that's that's not a bad place to be.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_05: It's a great mindset to have, brother, because it does the the the cliche that well, the days are long and the years are short.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_05: It's yeah, these cliches are true because they're true.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_05: And I I can still see uh I can still see myself as a 31-year-old dude with a baby bjorn on, and my we're going outside my old house and my neighbor going, man, enjoy this time.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_05: It's gonna go fast.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, he's like freaking six weeks old.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_05: Can I just enjoy that?
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like I said that yesterday.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_05: It's insane, ma'am.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_05: Um, okay.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_05: Tell us about how did you enter the wide world of staffing?
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_04: Well, like so many, uh, I didn't find staffing, staffing found me.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um staffing is one of those, I well, I wanted I wanted to find something after school where effort was directly linked to compensation.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_04: So effort and results.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_04: So, you know, I don't know if that's the seeing my dad in a sales role growing up or whatever, but that was a big career anchor for me.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_04: I wanted to be myself and have fun in the workplace.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_04: So I didn't want to be real stuffy.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and then I wanted to genuinely help people.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_04: And I don't know if that was like the young life youth ministry, you know, pillar in my life or what, but like I wanted to see a return on helping.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um prior to prior to finding staffing finding me, I was looking into like financial planning and like life insurance sales, which can be very lucrative, can be great, but I didn't feel like the return on helping was as gratifying or instantaneous.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_04: Um so uh, you know, this was 2011, and the market had turned, was just coming back, similar hard years in terms of you know recent college grads finding meaningful employment.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_04: And um my wife saw a friend of hers at work post something on their Facebook, and one of one of their friends was hiring.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_04: I went and interviewed, had seven interviews for an entry-level job.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_04: I was one of four people hired for a project that had been signed.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_04: Um, with a it was like a 70 plus person project, and they had a fourth spot, they couldn't find anybody, and they took a chance on me.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_04: So I was the last of four hired.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_04: I had no experience, and then very quickly um I was the only one of those four left.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_05: Love it.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_04: Been there ever since.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_05: And for those that don't know what Ronstadt Digital is, who Ronsad is as a company, tell tell us about what Ronsad is if you want to learn more about you and the and your and your amazing team.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I mean, Ronstad globally is the world's largest talent provider.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_04: And Ronsad Digital is within the digital and IT space.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_04: Um and we put people to work when and where clients need them globally.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_05: And your specific is direct hire, correct?
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so so permanent placements and um in the the shifting world of work with AI and automation and the economy and all these different things, I think people finding community in the workplace and stability really speaks to I think who I am and how I'm made as a person.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_04: So the specialization of direct hire, it's more than just uh helping people find a job and gaining income.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_04: It really feels like you're career matching and uh the level of psychology and heart and input and uh learning how to represent the the clients' needs to the talent marketplace and vice versa.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_04: Like there's just a depth to that level of staffing that really resonates with me.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_04: Um so yeah, I'm fortunate enough to lead sales and recruiting nationally within the Ronset Digital Permanent team.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_05: Love it.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_05: If people want to connect with you, Andy, and they want to learn more about you as uh either the dad, they want to learn more about KBG, they want to learn more about your young life or your gardening skills, or if you really were Thunder the Bobcat, um what is the best way people can find you?
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I I gave up socials a while ago.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_04: So if you if you hit me up on Facebook or Instagram, I'm not gonna see it.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um but LinkedIn.com slash Andy Hutzel.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's the easiest way.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_04: And then obviously um, you know, I can share my email or you can post it with this, whatever.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_04: But LinkedIn's probably the fastest.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_05: We will be we will make sure that the the one and only Andy Hutzel is tagged uh in the show notes on LinkedIn, everybody.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_05: Um bro, this has been a fantastic uh conversation.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_05: It's been um uh uh for everybody, it's actually been cool.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_05: I've got I've got to know Andy for the last probably four months.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_05: And for a guy that was not uh I would say super, we'll call it um outwardly posting on LinkedIn.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_05: He he posted one of the most awesome tributes to his pops and the nursery.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_05: And I want I'll actually I'll try to find it when I post it and I'll put it in the comments because people can make it easy for people to go go read it.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_05: Um but within a day, the thing just blew up and a number of people commented on it.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_05: And um, so I was that was like a proud moment as a friend to see you do that.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_05: And um, I will make sure more people can learn more about you and your and your pops, the impact he's had on you, and probably impact he's had on many people um throughout his life.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_05: Um but Andy, it's now time to go on what I call the lightning round.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_05: This is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_05: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_05: My job is to get a giggle out of you.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_05: Are you ready?
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_05: And I know this is gonna be tough because you you have a good wit, a good sense of humor, sarcasm, but I'm ready for the challenge.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, proceed.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_05: True or false, your first job at Ronstad was planting flowers.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_05: False.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_05: You still mow the yard at Ronstad on Sunday afternoons.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_05: True.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_05: What's the green speed?
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_04: Most days 11, sometimes 13, in the winter nine.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_05: How many days, how many times is Greg Pegleri three-putted?
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_04: Every time.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_05: Um before when Disney, the Disney show made handy Manny, they were gonna choose handy andy, but you said no.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_05: He laughed.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_04: True.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_04: Because I was being cast for Dennis the Menace.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, well played.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, we're back off the trails.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_05: If I was to go into your phone right now, what would be one genre of music that would surprise everybody you work with?
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_04: I don't think anybody would be surprised.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_05: How about me?
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_04: Um cool jazz.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, like Ron Burgundy jazz.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_05: Ron Burgundy Niazz flute.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, it's not the jazz flute, more uh more ethereal.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_05: I think you could play jazz flute if you're wanted to.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_04: I can.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_04: We didn't talk about this, but I'm I'm a like a natural musician.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_04: I can play almost any instrument by ear.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_05: Guitar?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_05: Sweet, so can I.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_05: It's a freaking jam session when you meet personally.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_05: We could rip a sick song.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you guys could probably play it at your president's club.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_05: Does it really bring the house down?
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_05: I doubt it.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um, favorite comedy movie of all time is Stepbrothers.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, well played.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_05: Um, okay, kids, you're staying home.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_05: Sorry.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_05: You and Anna.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_05: You're taking her on vacation tonight.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_05: Where are you taking her?
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_04: Italy.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_05: We get Italy a lot on the podcast.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_04: I've never been there, but that's just next on our list.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um, we went to Paris a couple years back, and uh I I could we could live there.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_04: I could live in Paris.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_04: Pity.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_05: There's a there's a place called Sergeant Recruiters on the Isle of Notre Dame.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know if it's still there, but it's it's a um when I went there back in like 2005, six ish, four, whatever, um a client of mine told me to go there because we are I was in the recruiting industry too.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, okay, I'll guess I'll go to that.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_05: And but it was an awesome place.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_05: Sergeant Recruiters, if you go.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_05: St.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_05: Louis, St.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_05: Louis, Isle of the Isle.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, Isle of Yeah, Isle of Notre Dame.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_05: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_04: There's already a book called This, but Pour Your Heart Into It.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, love it.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_05: Now, pour your heart into it is uh they're gonna replace Handy Mandy.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_05: They're gonna replace Handy Andy, they're gonna make a real legit movie about this.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_05: It's gonna just absolutely crush it because the book keeps selling out.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_05: You're the casting director.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_05: I need to know which Hollywood actor is gonna star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_04: Young Robert Redford.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_05: God, Robert Redford is a fantastic choice.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_05: We have not heard that.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_05: The natural, by the way, fantastic movie.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_05: I might watch that again.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, and then last and most important question, tell me two words that would describe Anna.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_05: Gorgeous.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_01: Kind.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_05: Boom.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_05: Lightning rounds complete.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_05: Um even though you giggled, I laughed out loud first.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm gonna give you the dub just because that's a gentleman that I am.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_05: Um, this has been a fantastic 56 minutes spent.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_05: I'm grateful for you, brother.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_05: I'm grateful our our paths have crossed.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_05: Um and uh I'm grateful for the wisdom that you share with us.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_05: There's a lot, again, if you if you have not taken notes, everybody, please take time to uh really take these what these conversations are about.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_05: And the uh one thing I'd summarize it is we're all we're all flawed, everybody.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_05: And we all have a choice to get a little bit better uh each and every day.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_05: And if today's the day where you aren't your best, the good news is tomorrow's new day.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_05: And if you weren't your best, ask for forgiveness, apologize to somebody, go to your wife, ask for help from a friend.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but I think my goal of these conversations is to help dads become that best version of themselves so they can be the best leader of their household.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_05: And if you're taking care of yourself at home and you're and you're you know being that best version of you, you're gonna be the best version of yourself at work.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm grateful for the stories you shared, the wisdom.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_05: It's been fun getting to know you better, Andy.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_05: And um, I know our paths will be crossing again soon, but but uh appreciate you.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, thank you, Casey.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_04: It's been awesome.