Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3972 The New Phil Hendrie Show

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Episode #3972 The New Phil Hendrie Show · The World of Phil Hendrie

0:01
Speaker 1: World-famous Phil Henry Show, and this is Phil Henry.
0:03
Speaker 2: Welcome.
0:04
Speaker 1: Margaret Gray is here.
0:05
Speaker 2: I'll do it.
0:06
Speaker 3: The world-famous Phil Henry Show.
0:07
Speaker 4: What are you saying?
0:09
Speaker 3: Because you've got things you're going to talk about.
0:11
Speaker 4: The world.
0:11
Speaker 3: Start again, Billy.
0:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
0:14
Speaker 3: The world-famous Phil... I'm pushing you. You got that?
0:19
Speaker 1: Okay, you guys, come on.
0:20
Speaker 5: The world-famous Phil Henry Show at philhenryshow.com. And here now
0:25
Speaker 5: is Phil Henry.
0:25
Speaker 1: Is that how we... I forget. Executive Bruce by me? No,
0:28
Speaker 1: that's the end of it. Uh, so, uh, we can
0:31
Speaker 1: kill it, bud.
0:32
Speaker 4: Keep the music going?
0:33
Speaker 1: No, you can kill it.
0:34
Speaker 4: I didn't hear you.
0:35
Speaker 1: Kill the music.
0:36
Speaker 2: Okay.
0:37
Speaker 4: Fading the music down. Three, two, one, yeah.
0:42
Speaker 1: Um, why was that more difficult than it should have been?
0:45
Speaker 3: I don't know, Phil.
0:45
Speaker 5: You said you were going to change the tenor and
0:47
Speaker 5: the texture of the opening of the show.
0:50
Speaker 1: Well, actually, I'm not even sure what it is I
0:54
Speaker 1: want to do on this here, uh, uh, skit show.
0:56
Speaker 1: Other than to say... Because I had a... Well, you
0:59
Speaker 1: had an interesting observation about being invited to some of
1:01
Speaker 1: these Christmas parties.
1:02
Speaker 4: Right, right. Yes, I did.
1:05
Speaker 1: So I've been to like three Rick and Morty Christmas parties,
1:08
Speaker 1: and I'm grateful every time I'm invited. They're fantastic. And
1:12
Speaker 1: they've had them in such... They had one of them,
1:14
Speaker 1: a couple of them at the Bonaventure, which was really cool.
1:16
Speaker 1: It's a hotel downtown. But the thing about going to
1:20
Speaker 1: these parties, when you're not a regular daily member of
1:23
Speaker 1: the staff, when you're a cast member... And you occasionally,
1:28
Speaker 1: is that my stomach growling?
1:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, Mr.
1:29
Speaker 4: Jimmy, that old me.
1:31
Speaker 1: What did you do? I didn't do anything. My stomach growled.
1:34
Speaker 3: Well, it sounded like more than that.
1:35
Speaker 1: No, you just went.
1:36
Speaker 4: Yeah, I went like this.
1:37
Speaker 2: Growled. Great.
1:39
Speaker 1: Hey.
1:41
Speaker 4: Shit.
1:43
Speaker 2: All right, Phil.
1:44
Speaker 4: Okay, anyway.
1:46
Speaker 1: So when you go to a Christmas party at one
1:48
Speaker 1: of these places like Rick and Morty, and this year
1:51
Speaker 1: we got invited to the Christmas party at Lil Kev,
1:55
Speaker 1: they don't know what you look like, man. They don't
1:57
Speaker 1: know your ass. From the man in the moon. They
2:01
Speaker 1: just see this dude walking around at this party. And
2:04
Speaker 1: I want to say to them, hey, I'm Professor, excuse me,
2:07
Speaker 1: I'm Principal Vagina. I'm Scary Glenn. I'm a few of
2:12
Speaker 1: these characters. I'm whoever. But I don't.
2:18
Speaker 5: So you wind up walking around and no one knows
2:19
Speaker 5: who the hell you are. What was the one year
2:22
Speaker 5: you put on the hat?
2:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, I walked in, and I had no date because
2:26
Speaker 1: at the time, as you guys know, for the last
2:28
Speaker 1: six years, I was in a long-distance relationship. So I
2:31
Speaker 1: didn't have any date. So I'm walking around like a dumbass.
2:35
Speaker 1: I walk in, and I actually, at the Bonaventure, I
2:37
Speaker 1: got a room at the hotel for the night. But anyway,
2:39
Speaker 1: I walk in, and they had given us hats. So
2:42
Speaker 1: I put on this dumb hat. So now I'm just
2:44
Speaker 1: this guy walking around with his dumb hat, you know.
2:48
Speaker 1: And are you really going to walk up to someone? Hi,
2:50
Speaker 1: I'm Phil Hendry. I play Principal Vagina.
2:52
Speaker 3: Well, why wouldn't you?
2:53
Speaker 1: How stupid is that going to sound? I don't even
2:56
Speaker 1: know who it is I'm walking up to introducing.
2:57
Speaker 4: Myself to, you know.
3:00
Speaker 1: Everybody's looking at me like I just lost it.
3:02
Speaker 3: Well, so I kind of get what you're saying.
3:04
Speaker 1: You know what, I just walk up, hi, I'm Phil Henry,
3:05
Speaker 1: I play principal vagina, because it sounds like you think
3:08
Speaker 1: your stuff doesn't smell.
3:09
Speaker 2: Right.
3:10
Speaker 1: Sounds like I'm a big star or something.
3:12
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I mean, if you say, you should say it.
3:15
Speaker 6: You should say, hi, I'm Phil Henry, and I play
3:18
Speaker 6: principal vagina, but I don't think that my, I'm not
3:21
Speaker 6: sitting here saying that my stuff doesn't smell.
3:23
Speaker 1: Sure, that's what I should do.
3:26
Speaker 4: Never mind, but it was fine.
3:28
Speaker 1: So that, and then we have a little cab party.
3:31
Speaker 1: We've got a recording session, as I mentioned to you,
3:34
Speaker 1: coming up for The Simpsons, which is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome.
3:39
Speaker 1: And I'm blown away, man, that after all these years,
3:45
Speaker 1: I get to be in a Simpsons episode. The residuals
3:48
Speaker 1: on that alone, you'll be, God almighty. No, I don't
3:51
Speaker 1: think so, General. God almighty. No, I don't think so.
3:54
Speaker 3: You don't think.
3:54
Speaker 1: The Simpsons is the biggest animated show to have ever
3:57
Speaker 1: been produced. You're going to be on an episode, the
4:00
Speaker 1: residuals alone.
4:01
Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
4:03
Speaker 1: Take it easy, General.
4:05
Speaker 3: You all right? Yes, I'm fine.
4:07
Speaker 1: What, do you think I'm going to retire on them
4:09
Speaker 1: or something?
4:10
Speaker 3: I don't know.
4:11
Speaker 2: It's... Oh.
4:13
Speaker 4: Excuse me.
4:14
Speaker 2: Yeah.
4:15
Speaker 4: So.
4:16
Speaker 1: Well, you don't have to mock me, Phil. I'm just
4:18
Speaker 1: telling you. Look, Rick and Morty's a huge show. And
4:21
Speaker 1: I get residuals from that show, and I can guarantee
4:24
Speaker 1: you this. As good as they are, and they're really good,
4:27
Speaker 1: I can't retire on that money, so forget it. And
4:30
Speaker 1: I don't want to. People are saying to me, how
4:32
Speaker 1: come you're still working? Because I want to goddamn well work.
4:35
Speaker 1: Because I have stuff that I still want to do.
4:39
Speaker 2: You know.
4:40
Speaker 3: You've got the shadow that's falling across your face, Phil.
4:44
Speaker 2: What?
4:45
Speaker 3: It just looks grotesque when you have that.
4:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, so thanks, bud. Because I want to keep on working. Because,
4:53
Speaker 1: like I said, there's stuff that I want to do.
4:55
Speaker 4: What stuff do you need to do? I mean, what
4:57
Speaker 4: is it?
4:58
Speaker 3: It's like.
5:00
Speaker 1: You have some monumental task. No, it's just all of
5:04
Speaker 1: my life I wanted to be the best artist that
5:06
Speaker 1: I could be. And I really took my time. I
5:10
Speaker 1: had a lot of fear. I had a lot of fear,
5:12
Speaker 1: afraid that if I expressed myself, The way that I
5:17
Speaker 1: wanted to express myself, people would reject me. They would
5:19
Speaker 1: think I was just a weird ass and they wouldn't
5:20
Speaker 1: want me to work for them. And there were people
5:23
Speaker 1: like that around. But I never really let myself go
5:25
Speaker 1: and be who I could be.
5:27
Speaker 6: Yeah, like be all you can be when they... Is
5:28
Speaker 6: that the army and everything?
5:30
Speaker 4: Sure.
5:30
Speaker 1: Be all you can be. The army, yeah.
5:32
Speaker 4: That works. I mean, it was.
5:34
Speaker 1: The boy's pointing out the commercial.
5:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
5:37
Speaker 1: You're right, bud. Be all you can be.
5:40
Speaker 2: So.
5:41
Speaker 4: Sorry about it. No, it's okay.
5:42
Speaker 1: It's actually very, very applicable.
5:45
Speaker 2: So.
5:47
Speaker 1: When I finally just said, you know, it's now or never.
5:49
Speaker 1: You have to do what you got to do. I
5:52
Speaker 1: was in my 40s. I was in my late 30s,
5:54
Speaker 1: early 40s. So I really started pressing. And, you know,
5:57
Speaker 1: we had a successful run there in radio finally. And
6:00
Speaker 1: then we got into syndication and started doing some TV
6:05
Speaker 1: acting and that kind of stuff. Started just, you know,
6:07
Speaker 1: getting in front of cameras. So I figured, I don't know,
6:11
Speaker 1: maybe this is something I should have been doing.
6:12
Speaker 4: From the beginning.
6:13
Speaker 2: All right.
6:13
Speaker 3: So you regret going into radio.
6:15
Speaker 1: I don't regret going into radio. If somebody had said
6:17
Speaker 1: to me, hey, don't be in radio, start acting. When
6:22
Speaker 1: I was 19, I would have thrown them out of
6:23
Speaker 1: the freaking room. I would have thought they were insane
6:26
Speaker 1: because the only thing I wanted to do was radio
6:27
Speaker 1: in those days. But now I realize that radio did
6:31
Speaker 1: not have the longevity we thought it would have. Because
6:33
Speaker 1: you've got to understand something, guys. When I got into radio,
6:36
Speaker 1: it was the biggest goddamn thing. It wasn't the biggest
6:38
Speaker 1: thing going, but it was huge. They were doing more
6:41
Speaker 1: advertising money in radio than they were doing in print
6:44
Speaker 1: and newspapers. And guys were making seven figures a year.
6:49
Speaker 1: A lot of the bigger guy, bigger names and so
6:52
Speaker 1: on and so forth. And even then, even seven figures,
6:55
Speaker 1: if they're making high six figures, that was some pretty
6:57
Speaker 1: good bread. So, you know, and they were actually, they
7:00
Speaker 1: were getting it like Howard Stern was coming into his own,
7:02
Speaker 1: the rest of those guys. So it was, it had
7:06
Speaker 1: nothing but future all over it, man. Radio had nothing
7:08
Speaker 1: but a great golden future. And then all of a
7:10
Speaker 1: sudden it just turned a corner and it was the internet,
7:12
Speaker 1: you know, that crashed it, I think. And I also
7:15
Speaker 1: think we had a really lousy bunch of management people.
7:18
Speaker 3: Watch it, Phil. You're going to get some really important
7:20
Speaker 3: people pissed off at you.
7:21
Speaker 2: No, wait a minute.
7:21
Speaker 1: I've always said who I respect. Bob Green, who I
7:26
Speaker 1: worked for at WID. Love you, Bob. Jim Ashbury, who
7:29
Speaker 1: I worked for in Atlanta and in Minnesota. I love you, Jim.
7:33
Speaker 1: Rich Galano at KVEN in Ventura. David G. Hall at
7:36
Speaker 1: KFI in Los Angeles. You know, those are the guys
7:41
Speaker 1: that come to mind. So it's not like I'm I
7:44
Speaker 1: hate suits or management people. The guys that I worked
7:49
Speaker 1: for directly, I'm not talking about that. It seemed like
7:53
Speaker 1: it was outside of my experience. There were a lot
7:55
Speaker 1: of real stupid jackasses running the business and running it
8:00
Speaker 1: into the ground. And I won't mention any of their names. Yeah,
8:04
Speaker 1: with good reason. You mentioned their names.
8:05
Speaker 4: Friend, you are done.
8:07
Speaker 1: Oh, take it easy, will you?
8:08
Speaker 3: You are done.
8:10
Speaker 1: What did Harvey Weirman say?
8:12
Speaker 6: Yeah, Harvey Weinman said, man, you are, you missed one
8:15
Speaker 6: more jury duty, you're going to jail, motherfucker.
8:18
Speaker 4: Hey, watch it, bud.
8:18
Speaker 3: Well? Did he really say that?
8:21
Speaker 1: No, he didn't say that. Get him on the phone.
8:24
Speaker 3: Okay?
8:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, Harvey?
8:25
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's Bud Dickman. Bud Dickman?
8:28
Speaker 6: At the Phil Henry show, yeah.
8:29
Speaker 4: At the Phil Henry show. At the Phil Henry show.
8:32
Speaker 4: Give me the phone, will ya?
8:33
Speaker 1: What is it with you, bud?
8:34
Speaker 4: I'm just talking to the.
8:34
Speaker 2: Guy, okay? Yeah. Good.
8:40
Speaker 3: Hey, Harvey.
8:41
Speaker 1: Harvey, you there?
8:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, Mitch, what's going on?
8:43
Speaker 1: You're taking a tub tonight, huh?
8:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm taking a tub. What is.
8:50
Speaker 2: I just heard... Let me get a towel here. I
8:53
Speaker 2: got to rub down here a little bit.
8:55
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't mean to jump all over your night here, man.
8:57
Speaker 1: We thought we'd just give you a quick call.
9:00
Speaker 2: Are we on the... Is this... Hold on for just
9:04
Speaker 2: a minute. Give me the small towel, because I want
9:07
Speaker 2: to pat myself dry. I got Colleen here, fellas, young lady... Yeah,
9:11
Speaker 2: I need to have my, I'm just, I want to
9:13
Speaker 2: say something.
9:14
Speaker 1: Harvey, just do it in private.
9:16
Speaker 2: Well, hold on. Pat this dry. See what I'm holding
9:19
Speaker 2: here in my hand? Pat it dry.
9:21
Speaker 1: Okay, Harvey, should we hang up and call later?
9:23
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's fine. So, why are you calling?
9:27
Speaker 1: I'm calling to follow up on your, because Bud was
9:30
Speaker 1: saying to me that you said to me that I
9:33
Speaker 1: was going to go to jail. over this jury duty thing.
9:36
Speaker 2: Okay, look, but why do you lie? Why do you
9:40
Speaker 2: lie like an animal? I didn't lie.
9:41
Speaker 4: You said it. You said it, mister, and you're going
9:43
Speaker 4: to jail, MF-er. You remember that?
9:46
Speaker 2: I didn't say MF. I said mother, I said mother lover.
9:49
Speaker 2: What's the latest on that? Hold on for a minute.
9:52
Speaker 2: You need to pat it very gently dry, okay?
9:55
Speaker 1: Hey, listen, Harvey, if we are intruding, man, let us
9:58
Speaker 1: hang up.
9:59
Speaker 2: No, it's okay. So what I said was, Phil, you
10:06
Speaker 2: had trouble with your jury duty.
10:08
Speaker 1: The jury summons that I had, I can't do jury
10:11
Speaker 1: duty in L.A.
10:11
Speaker 3: County, okay?
10:12
Speaker 1: The next month or two is busy with It isn't
10:15
Speaker 1: like I do a nine-to-five job. I'm doing two days here,
10:17
Speaker 1: I'm doing three days here, I'm doing one day there.
10:19
Speaker 1: So I just said, can I postpone, postpone?
10:21
Speaker 2: And I did. Okay, so you called them up and
10:23
Speaker 2: you postponed, and then you bad-mouthed that woman that you
10:26
Speaker 2: talked to on the phone.
10:27
Speaker 1: Yes, I did, because she was rude as hell. So
10:30
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about that.
10:32
Speaker 2: All right, well, I just said to you, Phil, that
10:34
Speaker 2: you've got to do, Jerry, you understand that in the
10:36
Speaker 2: state of California... Hold on for a minute. Give me
10:41
Speaker 2: a cup of some of that... Goonberry juice, you know
10:44
Speaker 2: that stuff?
10:46
Speaker 1: Goonberry, G-O-O... We'll call you back.
10:48
Speaker 2: No, no, no, hold on. G-O, yeah. So, Phil, you
10:54
Speaker 2: got this jury summons. Now, in the state of California,
10:56
Speaker 2: I don't know what it's like in other states, but
10:58
Speaker 2: if you miss jury duty, you start out with a
11:02
Speaker 2: $ 1, 500 fine, then you graduate to a $ 5, 000 fine, and
11:06
Speaker 2: then guess what, Phil? You go to jail. You got
11:09
Speaker 2: that right, my friend. And the way I've been hearing
11:12
Speaker 2: you put this together, you know, you're saying you put
11:15
Speaker 2: them off once, you put them off twice. What this B-I-T-C-H-C-A-D-I-A,
11:19
Speaker 2: what did you call it the other day?
11:21
Speaker 1: She said that I'd been excused, but I had to
11:23
Speaker 1: fill out my little form.
11:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to fill out the form that they
11:27
Speaker 2: sent you. You hadn't done it yet?
11:28
Speaker 1: No, I hadn't filled anything out, man. I get conflicting information.
11:33
Speaker 1: Show up at this date, show up here. Nobody said
11:35
Speaker 1: anything about filling out anything. There's two sides to this.
11:38
Speaker 1: It's very confusing.
11:39
Speaker 2: All right, well, so here it is, Phil. If you
11:42
Speaker 2: don't fill out that form, you are going to jail,
11:45
Speaker 2: muscle jumper. Okay?
11:51
Speaker 1: You said that to me the other day.
11:52
Speaker 2: Well, I'm telling you again, okay?
11:53
Speaker 4: Well, I filled it out.
11:55
Speaker 2: You did fill it out?
11:56
Speaker 5: Yeah.
11:57
Speaker 2: Well, did you mail it to them?
11:58
Speaker 1: No, I just sat and stared at it and then
12:00
Speaker 1: wiped my ass with it.
12:03
Speaker 3: He's joking, Harvey.
12:05
Speaker 2: Look, Henry, don't mess with something like this, because you
12:08
Speaker 2: will wind up going to jail, bitch. You understand?
12:13
Speaker 1: Would you get him straightened out?
12:15
Speaker 4: Yeah, Harvey, yeah, you got to chill it. Chill it down,
12:17
Speaker 4: chill it out. Chill it, just rub on it until
12:19
Speaker 4: it's chill.
12:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Well, Mr.
12:22
Speaker 4: Henry, you know him. He's got his Hand in his
12:24
Speaker 4: pants and give me that phone. Hand in the... You there?
12:27
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm here. What happened?
12:29
Speaker 1: I hung up on you, man, because you were flipping
12:31
Speaker 1: out about this whole going to jail thing.
12:33
Speaker 2: Well, Phil, look, you can't mess with jury duty.
12:35
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to mess with it. I understand it.
12:38
Speaker 1: And I got a summons from Ventura County. Now, what
12:39
Speaker 1: does that mean?
12:41
Speaker 2: Well, Bill, Ventura County is still... I guess they still
12:44
Speaker 2: have you on a voter roll. Is your mailing address
12:46
Speaker 2: in Ventura County?
12:47
Speaker 4: Yes, it still is.
12:49
Speaker 5: Yes, and still is.
12:51
Speaker 2: God, Phil... Did your testicles drop in the first year
12:54
Speaker 2: of life? Hey, hey, hey, hey.
12:57
Speaker 1: Yes, my mailing address is in Ventura County, and it
13:01
Speaker 1: still is.
13:01
Speaker 2: So you got a mailing address. What's your residence?
13:04
Speaker 1: My residence was Ventura. Now my residence is L.A.
13:07
Speaker 2: County. What?
13:09
Speaker 1: Hey, man, that's not my problem. That's L.A. 's problem, okay?
13:13
Speaker 1: They're sending me a jury summons to a guy that
13:15
Speaker 1: has a mailing address in Ventura. Then Ventura is sending
13:17
Speaker 1: me a jury summons because, you know, I have a
13:20
Speaker 1: mailing address in Ventura.
13:21
Speaker 4: So I don't know.
13:22
Speaker 2: Didn't you? Did you do Jerry? Did you do your do-do-do?
13:26
Speaker 2: Hold on for a minute. Yeah. Where's that goonberry juice?
13:31
Speaker 2: And give me a cup of the Melvin soup. The
13:34
Speaker 2: Melvin bright-eyed soup, yeah. It's in that cupboard. All right,
13:37
Speaker 2: so did you do Jerry Doody in Ventura? Yes, I did.
13:41
Speaker 2: You did?
13:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, I showed up. I sat there for whatever it
13:43
Speaker 1: was the whole day, and then they said, okay, you
13:44
Speaker 1: can go home now.
13:46
Speaker 2: Okay, so, and now they're sending you another summons, but
13:49
Speaker 2: you don't live in Ventura anymore.
13:50
Speaker 1: I don't live in Ventura County anymore, no.
13:53
Speaker 2: You live in L.A. County? Yes. Jesus God, Phil, you
13:57
Speaker 2: are going to jail, motherfucker.
13:59
Speaker 4: What do you do?
14:00
Speaker 1: What do you think I did?
14:01
Speaker 4: I hung up on him.
14:02
Speaker 3: Well, Phil, he's having a good time.
14:04
Speaker 4: He's not having, he's... Yeah, Harvey? Yeah, are you trying
14:07
Speaker 4: to mess with Mr.
14:08
Speaker 2: Henry?
14:08
Speaker 6: Are you messing with him? He says he's trying to
14:11
Speaker 6: mess all over you. Yeah, he says he's squatting and messing.
14:15
Speaker 6: Give me the phone if you don't mind.
14:16
Speaker 3: Hey, Harvey.
14:18
Speaker 2: Sorry, Phil. I was just having some fun. I was
14:21
Speaker 2: trying to just leave a mess all over you.
14:23
Speaker 1: Well, what good is that going to do?
14:25
Speaker 2: I don't know. Look, Bill, you're probably fine. If the
14:29
Speaker 2: woman said to you that you've been excused, just get
14:32
Speaker 2: in your little form. I mean, look, the last thing
14:37
Speaker 2: they want to do is put people in jail. The
14:39
Speaker 2: last thing they want to do is start issuing fines.
14:41
Speaker 2: What they want are people that can serve on a jury.
14:44
Speaker 1: I understand that, okay? And right now, freshly back in town,
14:47
Speaker 1: everybody's got excuses. There's no question. And I get that.
14:51
Speaker 1: But I've done jury duty. It ain't like I'm shirking
14:53
Speaker 1: my civic responsibility, but this is just a bad time
14:56
Speaker 1: right now, man. I just got back to town three
14:58
Speaker 1: months ago.
14:58
Speaker 2: Hey, look, you don't have to convince me, okay? And
15:02
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to, you know, I'm pulling around a
15:03
Speaker 2: little bit, but there are some people, and anybody listening
15:06
Speaker 2: out there, I'm telling you right now, you will go
15:09
Speaker 2: to jail. Okay, what about that friend of yours, Ramo?
15:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, what about him?
15:15
Speaker 2: You said he just digs those things, balls them up
15:18
Speaker 2: into a little tiny ball, and flushes them down the toilet.
15:22
Speaker 1: No, that's not him. That's somebody else.
15:24
Speaker 2: Well, who's the guy that does that?
15:25
Speaker 1: None of your business. One of my friends, folks, who
15:29
Speaker 1: will remain nameless, when he got the jury summons, he
15:33
Speaker 1: just threw them in the garbage. I don't know how
15:34
Speaker 1: he got away with it.
15:35
Speaker 2: Well, I'll tell you, I don't either, because LA County,
15:39
Speaker 2: they find out about that, man.
15:41
Speaker 1: Let me guess, you are going to jail, Mother Jumper.
15:44
Speaker 2: That's right. That's right. You'll go to jail, you'll sit there,
15:48
Speaker 2: and some guy's going to be sitting in the next
15:49
Speaker 2: cell looking at you going, I love you. And the
15:53
Speaker 2: next day... Oh, my God.
15:57
Speaker 4: Well, are you worried?
15:58
Speaker 1: I'm not worried about jack squat, okay? What pissed me
16:01
Speaker 1: off more than anything was this asshole I talked to
16:04
Speaker 1: at the... Now, I'm telling you guys at the jury division, okay?
16:07
Speaker 1: Watch it, Phil. No, I ain't watching nothing. I talked
16:10
Speaker 1: to this woman. I called up. And I told you guys,
16:13
Speaker 1: and rather than say, could you slow down, sir? This
16:15
Speaker 1: is what she did. I was saying, yeah, my name
16:16
Speaker 1: is Phil Hendry. I have a jury summons and I'm
16:19
Speaker 1: trying to, and this is.
16:20
Speaker 2: What I heard.
16:20
Speaker 1: She goes like that. I swear to God, it was
16:24
Speaker 1: so noticeable. I asked her, are you, are you, are
16:26
Speaker 1: you all right? Do you have a headache? No, I
16:28
Speaker 1: don't have a headache. You can, if you don't mind,
16:32
Speaker 1: would you stop talking and start again? This is, this
16:35
Speaker 1: is what this freaking woman said to me.
16:38
Speaker 2: Okay. Okay.
16:41
Speaker 1: So then, what else?
16:43
Speaker 4: Oh, she asked me if you could write.
16:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, she asked me, can you write? What the hell, man? Yeah,
16:48
Speaker 1: I can write. And so she said, what's your jury
16:52
Speaker 1: ID number? And I gave her the jury ID number.
16:54
Speaker 1: She goes, all right, now, would you give it to
16:56
Speaker 1: me again and slow down? You know, normal human beings
16:59
Speaker 1: will say something like, excuse me, could you slow it
17:01
Speaker 1: down a little bit? Would you repeat that? It's going
17:03
Speaker 1: a little too fast. Not her. This was her act.
17:06
Speaker 1: I read off the number, and she goes, okay, start again,
17:08
Speaker 1: and this time do it slow so I can write
17:10
Speaker 1: it down. Just somebody, you know, these people, man, they
17:14
Speaker 1: have their little power base in life. And that is their,
17:17
Speaker 1: you know, the head of assholes. Maybe that's their little,
17:20
Speaker 1: you know, the secretary to assholes. And she has her
17:23
Speaker 1: little power base. And that's what she's going to use
17:25
Speaker 1: to fuck with people because she hates her own life.
17:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.
17:29
Speaker 3: That's true, Phil.
17:30
Speaker 2: Right. All right.
17:32
Speaker 4: Okay.
17:33
Speaker 1: Enough of that. And now I'm in a bad mood
17:36
Speaker 1: thinking about. And I shouldn't, because I actually told you guys,
17:39
Speaker 1: I told you this when I did jury service in
17:41
Speaker 1: Ventura County.
17:43
Speaker 4: I liked it.
17:43
Speaker 1: I had a good time with it, and I thought
17:45
Speaker 1: it was, it made me proud to be an American.
17:46
Speaker 1: And I'm not kidding you, okay?
17:48
Speaker 4: Nobody believes that.
17:49
Speaker 1: I don't give a crap if they believe it or not.
17:51
Speaker 1: It's true.
17:53
Speaker 6: Yeah, we got Frank Gray.
17:55
Speaker 1: Frank Gray.
17:56
Speaker 4: Oh, Frank.
17:57
Speaker 3: Let me talk to him. Frank, are you sure you're
18:00
Speaker 3: up to this? It's past your bedtime.
18:02
Speaker 4: You're sure?
18:04
Speaker 1: Jesus H.
18:05
Speaker 3: Go ahead.
18:06
Speaker 1: Frank Gray on the line with us here. Frank, how
18:09
Speaker 1: are you?
18:10
Speaker 2: I'm doing good, young man. Better than Custer. So I
18:12
Speaker 2: heard Harvey, and Margaret told me that you'd had the
18:17
Speaker 2: summons jury, and that you filled it out. Yeah, I did.
18:21
Speaker 1: I filled it out and talked to that lady. Have
18:23
Speaker 1: you ever heard of anybody working at the jury division
18:25
Speaker 1: there who acts like that much of an asshole?
18:28
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. What did it say? You know,
18:31
Speaker 2: that depends on what it says.
18:32
Speaker 1: Well, it was just, I mean, she was just rude
18:34
Speaker 1: to me, saying, You know, because you slow down and this,
18:39
Speaker 1: you know.
18:40
Speaker 2: Well, did it sound like it was having a heart
18:42
Speaker 2: attack or something like that? Yeah. They do that all
18:45
Speaker 2: the time. They pretend like they're having a heart attack.
18:49
Speaker 2: They're one of the people in jury division. It pretends
18:51
Speaker 2: like it's something like this ass is falling apart or something.
18:55
Speaker 2: A lot of times they do that just to get
18:58
Speaker 2: some sympathy, you know.
18:59
Speaker 4: Okay, so.
19:02
Speaker 1: What about me? I just got advice here from Harvey Weirman,
19:05
Speaker 1: who sounded like a dumbass.
19:07
Speaker 2: Well, Harvey's a dumbass, but it's kind of a good dumbassery.
19:12
Speaker 2: But what did it tell you?
19:14
Speaker 1: He basically said, just go ahead and fill out the form,
19:17
Speaker 1: which I did do, and LA County will do its thing.
19:21
Speaker 2: Well, I don't think it's going to— nobody in LA wants
19:25
Speaker 2: to put you in jail. So I think it'll probably
19:29
Speaker 2: be good.
19:29
Speaker 1: That's not well. Yeah, Harvey tried to make it sound like.
19:31
Speaker 4: He was going to jail.
19:33
Speaker 2: Harvey's always trying to mess with people's mind. It told
19:37
Speaker 2: me one time, hey, it said, Frank, you're going to jail,
19:41
Speaker 2: that kind of thing. Is that the way it did it?
19:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, he loves talking that way.
19:43
Speaker 2: Right. And I said, you know what, Harvey, why don't
19:47
Speaker 2: you see, I see this, and I was holding something.
19:49
Speaker 2: I said, what don't you go ahead and give that
19:51
Speaker 2: a lick? And it got all pissed off and ran
19:54
Speaker 2: out into traffic.
19:55
Speaker 1: Ran out into traffic?
19:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, its car was parked across the street. It just went, ah,
20:00
Speaker 2: it ran away. It ran away from me.
20:02
Speaker 1: Frank Gray, my guest, Margaret Gray's husband.
20:05
Speaker 3: Frank, here's a question for you.
20:07
Speaker 5: Phil is saying that when he goes to these, because
20:10
Speaker 5: you're an entertainment attorney, when he goes to the Christmas parties,
20:13
Speaker 5: like for Rick and Morty, no one recognizes him because
20:16
Speaker 5: he's a voice. And so he was wearing a funny
20:19
Speaker 5: hat that they gave him one year. Should he just
20:21
Speaker 5: walk up to people and introduce himself?
20:23
Speaker 2: Well, look, Phil, you're not the big superstar.
20:28
Speaker 4: I know that.
20:29
Speaker 2: Okay. And look, you look around, you see if you
20:33
Speaker 2: notice anybody that you know. And if you don't know anybody,
20:37
Speaker 2: then just put on the hat. If they give you
20:39
Speaker 2: a goofy hat, put it on, nod and smile, and
20:42
Speaker 2: walk through the crowd with a drink. And just go,
20:44
Speaker 2: how do you do? How do you do? How do
20:45
Speaker 2: you do? And you can at some point say, yeah,
20:48
Speaker 2: I'm Principal Vagina. What is it, Vagina? Yes, sir. Okay. Hi,
20:52
Speaker 2: I'm Principal Vagina. How do you do? Pleasant weather we're having.
20:56
Speaker 2: And you continue to walk through it.
20:58
Speaker 4: Really pleasant weather we're having.
21:01
Speaker 2: Who was that?
21:02
Speaker 1: It was Bud.
21:02
Speaker 2: Hey, Dickman, you don't talk when I talk. God, get
21:07
Speaker 2: a load of it, will you? So, yeah, you go
21:09
Speaker 2: to the party, and then you turn around, and you
21:11
Speaker 2: give them their hat back and leave. What's so funny?
21:17
Speaker 4: Nothing, nothing at all.
21:18
Speaker 1: Give them their hat back and leave. All right, Frank,
21:22
Speaker 1: good to talk to you, man.
21:23
Speaker 2: Let me talk to Margaret.
21:24
Speaker 3: I'll call you after the show.
21:26
Speaker 2: Oh, that's right. I forgot about it. All right, so... Oh, it's.
21:31
Speaker 1: Going to be a fun, fun Christmas season.
21:38
Speaker 5: World famous Phil Henry show is executive produced by Phil
21:45
Speaker 3: On iHeart Podcast. I'm Margaret Gray.