Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 25. (S1E25) Turning The Tables-Janette Interviews Lori

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25. (S1E25) Turning The Tables-Janette Interviews Lori · FINE is a 4-Letter Word

0:02
Lori Saitz: Hello and welcome to this episode of Fine is a
0:05
4-Letter Word This is a very special episode because this is
0:08
Episode 25 which is quite a milestone because not a whole
0:14
lot of podcasts get to Episode 25. I know that seems crazy to
0:19
to think about but here we are already at Episode 25. This
0:25
one's going to be a little bit different because my friend
0:27
Janette Gallardo is on. Did I pronounce that right? Yes, I
0:33
did. Okay, so she's on here with me. And she's going to turn the
0:37
tables on this situation, and she's going to interview me. So
0:43
I'm going to turn it over to Janette, and let her go. And
0:48
we'll see where this goes. Welcome, Janette.
0:52
Janette Gallardo: Thank you. I'm very excited. And first of all,
0:55
congratulations on episode 25. This is very exciting. And
1:01
before we begin with the interview, I would like to
1:04
introduce myself. So I am Janette Gallardo. I am the
1:09
founder of Vitta Solutions. And I do fractional CFO work as well
1:14
as money mindset coaching. So yeah, so let's get started. I'm
1:19
very excited because as you know, like, I have so many
1:24
questions for you like I follow your podcast. And I'm always
1:30
intrigued and learning from your guess. But I have always
1:36
wondered, like, what about you like I want to get you to know I
1:39
want to get to know you more. So this is the perfect episode to
1:45
turn things a little bit around and get you on the spotlight and
1:50
get for the audience. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that
1:52
wants to know you more. So as you know, we always start this
1:58
this podcast with a little bit of getting to know you, like a
2:03
brief overview of your early life. And we want to know like
2:07
what was expected of you growing up?
2:10
Lori Saitz: Yes, I knew you were gonna ask me that, because
2:13
that's what I asked everyone. So yeah, my beliefs and values. You
2:17
know, one of the ones that came to mind most immediately was
2:21
education, education is important. That was always
2:25
something that was emphasized in my family. And always and that
2:30
is you always have to be learning, like my maternal
2:33
grandfather lived to be 97. 96 or 97. And he was always
2:40
learning. That's a lifelong thing. So that's great, because
2:46
I think that as humans, we should always be learning. The
2:51
downside, or if there's a negative side to it is that for
2:55
a very long time. And this is something I still manage work on
3:00
managing is that I never know enough. Right? Right, right.
3:05
Yeah, being in that place of Well, I don't know enough yet. I
3:08
still have to learn more in order to do X, Y, or Z. I don't
3:13
know enough. So and
3:15
Janette Gallardo: I also feel like there's a flip side to
3:18
that, because it's great. I think that's a great thing to
3:22
have, like you want to develop and grow and learn. But I think
3:26
the flip side to that is are you applying it into your life? Or
3:29
are you just learning to learn and just going through life
3:33
being fine without making any changes? Was that the case for
3:39
in like in your family, your grandfather? And like one of the
3:43
I guess habits?
3:45
Lori Saitz: That's a good point, because I think that is
3:47
something that I have done is go and learn and learn and learn,
3:51
but not necessarily implement in the in the past I've gotten
3:55
better read in the more recent years but good, good point there
4:01
because yes, there is there's value in learning for learnings
4:06
sake, but then there's also there's not value if you're not
4:09
if you're just learning and not implementing that could be to
4:15
your detriment.
4:17
Janette Gallardo: Right. Right. Right. And do you find that with
4:20
Well, let me jump on to this question because I and I want to
4:25
learn more about your program and I was gonna ask with the
4:29
program that you're currently running. Do you find that with
4:32
your, the the participants that they're like, they have done all
4:37
this work on themselves and all the things and you know, like
4:42
they audit a play that they have, like they have gained so
4:46
much growth, but are they applying what they have learned
4:51
or all of the education that they have done? Are they
4:54
applying to end their lives? Or is that where you come in and
4:58
kind of like help them navigate through Or how does that how
5:01
does that look? So walk us a little bit through your program.
5:04
And then like your clients, like where are they in? What stage of
5:08
their life they're in?
5:09
Lori Saitz: Yeah, I'll do that. And then I also want to go back
5:12
and and because there are a couple other things of values
5:14
and beliefs that play into some things as well. But yes, one of
5:19
the things that the people who participate in my program have
5:23
is that they are not new to personal development, like
5:26
they've been doing personal development for years. And
5:30
really, personal development isn't something where you get to
5:33
a point you're like, Okay, I'm done here. It's, it is a
5:37
lifelong process of always learning more about yourself,
5:41
and how you interact and how you communicate and how you function
5:46
in the world. So that is something that they have
5:50
experience with, and that they understand is a lifelong thing.
5:56
implementation is, like you said, a lot of people learn for
5:59
the just to learn and then never implement and that's why the
6:04
program has actual exercises, like I hesitate to call it
6:09
homework, but there are exercises after every session to
6:14
carry out on your own to go do things for example, one of them
6:21
in the end well, I'm sure you'll ask me more about this question
6:25
because I get it all the time about the three different parts
6:28
which is in the fuck being find experience, there's the trilogy
6:32
for success. And one of the components of that is gratitude.
6:37
And one of the exercises under gratitude is to write three
6:42
letters three gratitude letters to people who have positively
6:47
contributed to your life in some way and that maybe they don't
6:51
know.
6:52
Janette Gallardo: I love that. Oh, I love that that's so good.
6:56
Like Yeah, then we can we'll continue on diving into cuz I
7:00
know you have a lot to share through through throughout but
7:03
like Yeah, let's go back to um, what were the beliefs that were
7:08
instilled in you and that you picked up?
7:11
Lori Saitz: Yeah, so two more One of them was about being
7:14
practical with money that you have to be practical and you
7:19
have to be responsible with money. I am pretty sure that my
7:26
dad co signed because I can't think of how else I would have
7:29
gotten a credit card at 17 but that's when I got my first
7:34
credit card and I believe it was a Macy's card because those are
7:38
easier to get you know, a store card, but to start building my
7:42
credit and to start learning how to be responsible with credit
7:47
that savings was always a big thing like I have I have a piggy
7:53
bank that is actually a ceramic pig that I have had since I was
7:58
a child that thing is still not cracked open it's sitting on my
8:01
dresser so money being responsible with money donating
8:07
money to charitable causes was always something that was that
8:11
was important in my family. So the flip side of that is that I
8:17
have a hard time allowing myself treats or doing nice things for
8:26
myself because I should be saving the money right it's all
8:31
about saving it so you can have it for the future I don't know
8:34
what's happening in the future that I need all this money for
8:36
but that's that's what I was learning.
8:42
Janette Gallardo: So and how have you seen that so aside from
8:45
just like, I guess there's this guilt and I can relate to that i
8:49
i think that plays I don't know if it just by being a women or
8:53
just anybody that money has played has been a big factor in
8:59
their upbringing. But how have you overcome that so that you
9:05
can actually treat yourself and not feel guilty?
9:08
Lori Saitz: I'm still working on that. I you know, sometimes it's
9:14
it's smaller things that Oh, I'll do something like I could
9:19
get I could get a cupcake or I could but you know, I could
9:25
really use a massage and I have not allowed myself to do that in
9:30
a very long time. So it's
9:33
Janette Gallardo: We're definitely like booking a
9:35
massage after this.
9:36
Lori Saitz: Okay. That sounds good. And then the third thing
9:42
was, and I didn't realize that I had learned this until after my
9:47
mom passed away seven years ago. But friendships are important.
9:51
Friendships have always been important to me. I knew that
9:55
part. But I didn't know where that came from and it was came
9:58
from watching her I guess from just being around her, she had
10:03
friends that she had one friend, my, who we called My Aunt
10:06
Carole. They were friends since they were five years old. And
10:11
she was still good friends with her college roommate and other
10:15
people that she just she had lifelong friendships and I have
10:20
the same. And so clearly, I saw that, that she was modeled,
10:26
excuse me that she was modeling that for me. And I, I love that.
10:32
I love that I have that. I love that she modeled that for me.
10:36
Janette Gallardo: Yeah, that is like, so important as like to
10:40
have that community and nourish, like, true friendships. That is
10:45
beautiful. And that is like, a lot, like, awesome that you have
10:48
that in you. And, and I think it is very, I remember like, when I
10:53
first met you, I felt that like it just you, you, um, you're
11:00
like so welcoming, and so open and just so inviting, that I
11:04
felt in and I knew I don't know, I don't know if you knew, but I
11:07
knew I'm like, oh, we're gonna we're gonna be good friends.
11:11
Lori Saitz: I love it. Yeah, yeah. And you know, the flip
11:13
side of that is that I tend to be very, very loyal to people.
11:20
And so I stay friends with people pretty much forever if
11:24
you come into my friend world, but at the same time, if if it's
11:27
not a necessarily healthy relationship, I might stay in it
11:32
too long. Because I am very loyal to that relationship.
11:39
Janette Gallardo: So walk me through that, like how does that
11:41
look? How do you know when to, um, I guess let go have a
11:49
relationship that is not serving you.
11:52
Lori Saitz: Yeah, okay, now you're gonna make me cry. So
11:58
that's part of what happened, I think in you know, in my
12:01
marriage, because I, this was a person that was, is, he is still
12:10
an amazing person. But when the relationship got to the point
12:14
where it wasn't really serving either one of us anymore. Yeah,
12:18
we stayed in because loyalty because we can make this work
12:23
because there's history. Like, that's what you know, a lot of
12:28
friendships have this history, and you don't want to give that
12:31
up. And so it's, you know, about become realizing that, okay,
12:36
you're not giving up the history. You're, you're not
12:40
really giving up anything, it's just freeing each other to go on
12:46
and live the next season of life.
12:49
Janette Gallardo: Yeah, yeah. That's, that's so powerful.
12:53
Because I do believe that a lot of people stay in those
12:57
friendships and relationships, and just, Oh, I just love that
13:02
you're being so like, like, just opening up to us, like love that
13:06
because I know, I know, people are gonna, I gonna appreciate it
13:09
too. Like to get to see also your world and learn about you.
13:14
So thank you, thank you for being so open. Yeah. But as As I
13:18
was saying, like, it's so powerful to be able to identify
13:26
and identify that, okay, this relationship is no longer
13:29
serving us. So let's move forward because it is so easy to
13:35
stay as is and that fine, like, We're fine. Like, there's
13:39
nothing wrong, it's just that we're just fine. And there's no
13:44
longer any inspiration or aspiration, motivation growth
13:49
for the relationship either. So that is so powerful that you can
13:54
actually look at it and share ish everything that you have had
14:00
with that person, but still be able to move forward and let go.
14:05
And, and, and I mean, and I keep on coming back to your program,
14:10
because I'm like, that's probably something that you that
14:13
you covered during your F*ck eing Fine Experience, I'm
14:19
assuming Yeah, like, how do you let go
14:22
Lori Saitz: Right, because it takes a lot of courage to to le
14:26
go of whether it's a relations ip with a marriage, a partner, w
14:31
atever that is, or it's a rel tionship with a job being in a
14:35
job for 20 years and just not f eling fulfilled anymore, o
14:38
letting go of, you know, you nd I don't have children,
14:42
ut people who have children, etting them go, that's wha
14:45
you raise them for was to be esponsible adults to let them g
14:50
out on their own. All of tho e. Those situations are very d
14:53
fficult to navigate through an when I first left my marriage,
14:57
eople were telling me how courag ous That was and I'm like, that
15:00
s not well, yeah, no, no, no, I idn't see it as being courageous
15:05
And looking back, though, ye h, there is an element of
15:10
courage to that you have to be willing to jump off the cliff.
15:15
Even if you don't see a safe lan ing below you, you don't see
15:21
landing at all or your job, don't know where this is go
15:24
ng to take me. You have to be willing to move in faith, tru
15:28
t and faith. And so that is, t e third part of the trilogy fo
15:35
success is courage. The first art is gratitude. The second par
15:38
is connections, friendship , connections. And the third
15:42
art is courage.
15:46
Janette Gallardo: Wow, that and that is so important. And as you
15:49
were saying, like, when you love your marriage, and people were
15:52
telling you that that was so courageous, and you're like, you
15:55
can see that, but it is just trusting the unknown, I think
16:00
that's so powerful. And like just trusting that, that
16:05
everything that is meant for you is going to happen and, and just
16:11
being there and trusting that that that unknown, which is I
16:15
think is the most uncomfortable, uncomfortable thing for for us
16:20
as humans to do. Um, so how do you how do you walk that walk
16:28
and stay trusting that everything is going to work out?
16:33
Lori Saitz: Yeah, well, first of all, I love that you said
16:35
everything that is meant for you will happen. That is such a
16:41
powerful thing to keep in mind and to you know, put on a
16:46
bulletin board or a whiteboard or a post it note and just keep
16:50
in your bathroom, or wherever you need it to remind you. Yeah,
16:55
one of the tools that I used to help me through that experience
17:00
through through that experience, and every day since is
17:06
meditation. Oh, yes. And yeah, I mean, there's not really a day
17:12
that goes by that I don't meditate for at least five
17:18
minutes. I mean, you know, it doesn't have to be an hour. It's
17:22
done. There's, there's a Zen proverb that if you don't have
17:25
time to meditate for an hour a day, you should meditate for
17:28
two. Yeah. But even that you don't have to put an hour into
17:33
it, you know, 5, 10, 15 minutes, can be enough to help you feel
17:39
grounded and calm and find that sense of peace. And I'm at the
17:44
point now where I, it's almost like I didn't brush my teeth. If
17:49
I leave the house or get up and get into my day, without
17:52
meditating. It's just part of my morning routine at this point.
17:57
Janette Gallardo: Yes, I. I love that. Because as you know, I'm
18:01
like a big, big into meditating. And that's a big part of my life
18:05
as well. And so can you share with us? What does marriage
18:10
because I think there's a misconception or people see
18:13
meditation as different things and means different things to
18:16
different people. Can you walk us through what meditation can
18:19
look like? Because there are so many phases of meditation? And
18:23
like, how can you actually bring that as part of your routine?
18:31
Lori Saitz: Yeah, you know, I I love that the app, Insight
18:36
Timer. Insight Timer, we can put that in the show notes. But
18:39
insight timer is an app you can download for free. And there are
18:44
100,000 meditations on there. None of mine, but that's okay.
18:49
Not yet anyway. Yeah, the so picking up something from there,
18:57
you can search by time, if you only have 10 minutes, you can
19:00
find it. You can search by topic, whether you want to a
19:03
meditation for anxiety, or stress or sleep or whatever it
19:08
is. I just find something there. Usually in the for the morning
19:15
meditations, I usually find something from there. And listen
19:19
to that. So So meditation is not necessarily and I've had clients
19:24
tell me that they thought meditation was getting, you
19:28
know, sitting cross legged on a mat, in complete silence and
19:32
getting rid of all of the thoughts in their head. Yeah,
19:36
which is virtually impossible for anybody. So then, they
19:41
thought they were doing it wrong, because they couldn't do
19:44
that. Yeah. But meditation is really about seeing the thoughts
19:50
coming into your head and then coming back to bringing yourself
19:53
back to your breathing, the sound of the meditation,
19:56
teachers voice, your heartbeat, whatever it is. You're bringing
20:00
yourself back to that is actually part of the practice of
20:05
meditation is keep bringing yourself back, keep bringing
20:08
yourself back. And a lot of people meditation using a guided
20:14
meditation, that's not cheating. That's another thing is people
20:17
are like, well, I couldn't sit in silence. And it's kind of
20:19
cheating if I listen to music or meditation with a guided
20:24
meditation, with voice, not cheating at all, because it's
20:28
really about calming your nervous system, your circulatory
20:34
system, calming yourself, and getting into this place where
20:38
you're just grounded and centered, and in touch with your
20:44
own inner truth. That's what we don't give ourselves enough time
20:48
to do
20:51
Janette Gallardo: Yeah, that, that gave me goosebumps. Yes.
20:54
It's been like connected to oneself and to our truth. I love
20:59
that to our truth. Yeah, I this is the first time I see it that
21:04
way, it is our truth. So before I asked you a lot, another
21:08
question on the meditation. I have this one, like, How were
21:12
you introduced to meditation? Like when when How long have you
21:15
been practicing? Like, what was your story with with meditation?
21:19
Lori Saitz: Yeah, my, another great thing my mom did for me,
21:24
she did many things as I was growing up. But she introduced
21:27
my brother and me to meditation when I was 10. She took us to
21:31
this meditation course, that's now known as the Silva Method.
21:35
And put us through this course. So I learned how to meditate
21:39
when I was 10. But then, I didn't use it for like, the next
21:44
35 years. So I don't know why, like, I knew about all the
21:50
benefits, and I knew it would help me. And I still didn't do
21:54
it. Until until shortly after she passed away. And then I got
22:00
back into it because I was looking for some ways to be
22:03
grounded and centered and find that sense of peace. And I came
22:07
back to it and, and found found some meditations that worked for
22:13
me.
22:14
Janette Gallardo: Wow, I feel like it was a full circle. So
22:17
she prepare you for when she passed.
22:23
Lori Saitz: Now You're gonna make me cry again.
22:24
Janette Gallardo: As I'm listening to you, I'm like,
22:27
what? So she gave you the tools, but you weren't ready,
22:31
because she was preparing you for her passing? Wow.
22:36
Lori Saitz: Sure. I never looked at it that way. That's, yeah.
22:41
Janette Gallardo: Yeah, cuz that's the thing, right? Because
22:43
we again, for the learning, we learn, we learn, we learn. But
22:48
sometimes it's not. It's not the time for us to come in and do
22:52
the work. But it's in there. Like we're we have it in as we
22:57
have the tools. So when we're ready. It shows that like,
23:01
whatever situation that might be, and then we're ready. We
23:03
have the tools and we can work on that area of our life. So
23:06
it's like a full circle. Yes. Wow, that that, though, whoa.
23:12
Lori Saitz: So insightful of you. Yeah.
23:17
Janette Gallardo: Well, that's how I feel things. That's how
23:19
things work out. I feel like you were doing all this things. And
23:23
sometimes you don't even know that you're already doing the
23:25
work until you're faced with a challenge. And you're still like
23:30
you're there, where you have been preparing yourself without
23:35
knowing to face that challenge and to pull off all those tools
23:39
that you learned when you were 10. So it's, it's kind of like
23:44
how I see it. But one one question I do have because I
23:48
love Love, love your meditations, you actually did a
23:52
custom meditation for me. And it was so powerful. So um, I have
23:56
been meditating for a couple of years now. And I had never had
24:01
like a custom meditation. I didn't even think that existed
24:05
until you did my meditation. And I want to share with the
24:09
audience because it was awesome. And from somebody that I have
24:13
been like practicing meditation, I totally forgot that it was a
24:17
custom made meditation because it was so professional and your
24:22
voice is so beautiful and so powerful.
24:25
Lori Saitz: But I did not. I did not pay Jeannette to say this. I
24:28
didn't even ask her to we didn't discss. Ok. Go on.
24:33
Janette Gallardo: I wasn't paid for this. I'm actually like, I
24:37
love her. I love her voice and you have like this voice like
24:42
you were meant to. Yeah, to speak for us to to help us heal
24:49
and your meditation to me, I totally forgot that you had like
24:54
it was custom made. And then all of a sudden you're saying things
24:57
that like during our conversation that you were going
24:59
to up, you know, like to help me with whatever I was working on.
25:03
And all of a sudden, like your start bringing in, like I
25:06
remember like walking in my grandmother's house and this and
25:11
I just started crying. Like I got so emotional, it's just took
25:18
me to a different place and a different level of meditating.
25:21
So I did want to bring that up because I felt very connected to
25:26
your medic, like the way you do your custom meditations. And I
25:29
want you, I want you to share with us like how the process of
25:33
that, like how do you work with with clients on that, because
25:36
they're so at least for me was so powerful. And to me, it's
25:41
like, you planted the seed in my subconscious without even
25:47
realizing and things. Like, I'd have seen a lot of shifts
25:52
through your meditation. So I do believe they're so powerful. So
25:55
So walk us through that, like the process and, and, and your
25:59
love for them. Because I can feel the love like, like, well,
26:03
following your guided meditation.
26:06
Lori Saitz: Yeah, so the custom gratitude meditations are
26:09
actually part of the F*ck Being Fine Experience, because that is
26:12
in the second part of the trilogy, is connections where we
26:16
talk about connections with others. And then of course, most
26:20
importantly, the connection with yourself. And so anybody who
26:23
participates in the program gets a customized meditation. And
26:26
then they're also available outside of the program, which is
26:30
is what you and I did with that. But those custom meditations
26:35
help people get into this feeling of gratitude, feeling
26:41
gratitude, which is one of them more elevated emotions, elevated
26:47
emotions, that we that you want to be in, in order to manifest
26:54
things in into your life, you have to be vibrating, that's the
27:00
word I was looking for, you have to be at a vibration, a higher
27:03
vibration. And gratitude is one of the highest vibrations, you
27:07
can be at joy, love appreciation, those are the
27:11
higher vibrations. And so in order to bring the things into
27:15
your life that you want, you have to be matching that higher
27:21
vibration. And that's what those meditations do is they help
27:25
people to feel gratitude. And I start out by helping clients
27:31
feel gratitude for things that have happened in the past and
27:34
things that are currently manifested into their life.
27:38
Because sometimes it's easier to feel gratitude for those things
27:42
you can remember. And then I carry that through into feeling
27:47
gratitude for those things that you are working on manifesting
27:51
into your life feeling gratitude for them as if they are already
27:56
here. Because that is the key. That's the that's the trick, if
28:01
you will, to getting them to manifest faster. And if people
28:06
don't like the term manifest. The other way to phrase that is,
28:10
is achieving goals. Yes, yes. So getting to those goal
28:16
achievements faster. When you are visualizing and meditating
28:20
on those things. They happen faster.
28:26
Janette Gallardo: Yes. Oh, that makes so much sense. Because as
28:30
I'm thinking of the meditation you did for me, and you were
28:33
asking me because I was wondering, why are you asking me
28:35
all these questions, but now it makes sense, because you asked
28:38
me like, tell me about a time or place or experience where you
28:44
felt that like gratitude where you fell in love where you fell
28:47
in love? Joy? See. Yeah. And then as you're walking me
28:53
through my meditation, you're like, you're dropping those
28:57
insights in there. And the most powerful thing is that it feels
29:04
like I don't know, I felt like I was paying for this, like, you
29:08
know, like, high end meditation. So that's what I loved about it,
29:13
because I I totally forgot that it was my own. And I love how
29:19
you walk me through it and and you said me at first, I felt the
29:24
emotions in my body. Yeah, when you were walking me through it,
29:27
I felt that and it felt so real. Like, I mean, I started crying.
29:31
I wasn't sad. It was like this. crying like I felt so connected
29:36
to those feelings, that it brought tears to my eyes. And
29:41
then as you started walking me through the future, and my, what
29:45
I wanted to manifest are my goals. And they felt so real.
29:49
And it's just an it's one of the meditations that I keep on going
29:53
back to and it's, it's so it's so amazing. I'm always amazed.
30:00
how things are start, like start showing up because it does play
30:05
in your subconscious and, and as you said, like staying in the
30:09
higher state of vibration is gonna help you move forward
30:14
towards those goals or toward manifesting. So that makes total
30:18
like now I can see like how, how that is connected? That is so
30:23
awesome.
30:24
Lori Saitz: Yeah. And I get that feedback from a lot of people
30:27
that I've created them for the same thing. It's this. Yeah,
30:31
it's a feeling that you can't get from any other kind of
30:34
meditation.
30:36
Janette Gallardo: Yes. And I felt that in for people that
30:39
haven't tried them, I highly recommend them. Like, it's such
30:43
a mean, I'm why I'm saying it for me as that I truly like. I
30:49
mean, I love them. And I do believe that people would
30:53
benefit from those, even the ones from your podcast, like at
30:56
the end of every episode. They're like, so good. Like I
31:00
love like, listening to those as well, though. Yeah,
31:05
Lori Saitz: yeah. And I really enjoy creating them, which is I
31:08
think part of the feeling that you get is because I'm putting
31:12
energy into them. And I love it. And yeah, so yeah.
31:18
Janette Gallardo: I love that. So let me ask you this, because
31:21
I mean, I have so many questions for you. And I know I'm going
31:25
all over the place. But I wanted to ask you, how long were you
31:32
stuck in fine? And how long did it take you to realize that you
31:39
know, like, how was how was the process for you? Like, did you
31:42
know you were stuck in fine for a long time, but you didn't have
31:45
the courage to move forward? Or did you realize that all of a
31:49
sudden, like, oh, like walk us through that? How did it show up
31:52
Lori Saitz: Yeah, yeah, I will answer that question. And it
31:52
for you?
31:57
was, and I think for most people, it you know, you know
32:01
that you're in fine for a long time. Because find is
32:05
comfortable. It's like a warm blanket. You don't want to get,
32:08
you know, warm blanket on a cold day, let's say. You don't want
32:13
to leave it because again, it comes back to it's scary. And so
32:18
I mean, I don't I probably knew for 10 years. But I kept
32:22
thinking that I we can fix this, it can get better, it can be
32:26
better than fine. It will just yeah, we can do this, we can do
32:30
that we can, I can work harder, I can make it happen. Because I
32:37
didn't know I didn't want to do the hard thing. No, I didn't get
32:43
married thinking that I was going to get divorced. In fact,
32:46
that's my parents got divorced when I was about 11. And I
32:50
always said that's something I'm never going to do. And I
32:54
deliberately looked. In my head, I made the choice. But it wasn't
33:00
until I looked back. Like I didn't only date people whose
33:03
parents had been married forever. But that is who I ended
33:08
up marrying was somebody whose parents were married for 50
33:13
years. I don't remember how old I mean, they were married for
33:16
their entire lives. Yeah. And because I thought, okay, I want
33:20
somebody who knows what that is like. And that is who I married.
33:25
And it still didn't work for me. So but yeah, it, it takes a long
33:35
time to build up the courage to come to the edge and jump.
33:42
Janette Gallardo: Right. And then when you were ready to make
33:46
that, I guess, decision to move forward. What tools did you use?
33:55
To get you through them?
33:57
Lori Saitz: It was again, it was meditation for the most part.
34:00
Yeah, I'm in starting, I started meditating before I actually
34:04
left but yeah, using using meditation. And, and just
34:12
getting to the point, you know, again, after my mom passed away,
34:15
and that was still four years before I left the marriage. But
34:22
because she was only 73. And I don't think it really matters.
34:26
She could have been, you know, 103 you start looking at your
34:30
life going all right. Do I want to live the next 20 years the
34:33
same way I lived the last 20? And if the answer is no, what
34:37
are you going to do about it? And that's what kept going in my
34:41
head of Alright, what am I going to do about it? What do I how do
34:45
I want to live differently?
34:47
Janette Gallardo: And that Yeah, and that is I think the question
34:51
that not a lot of people well, maybe they get to ask that
34:57
question for themselves, but they just neglect the like. I'm
35:01
fine. Like, why would I go through all of that? Like, you
35:04
know, like the comfort of just showing up to a marriage that
35:08
maybe doesn't make me happy, but I have all this other things to
35:11
make up for it.
35:12
Lori Saitz: Right. Right. At least I know what I have here.
35:16
Janette Gallardo: Exactly, exactly. And the distractions,
35:18
like I feel like we almost kind of like turn into, like, we
35:22
start brainwashing ourselves and like, find distractions. So we
35:26
don't have to deal with that, even though we know we have to.
35:30
But that's one of the the things that I believe keeps us there.
35:37
Um, so. And sometimes I almost feel like when you, you're you,
35:44
you have done all the work, you're outside of fine. But
35:49
you're still have more work to do. Yeah. Do you find that?
35:52
Lori Saitz: Yes, for sure. Because I have tremendous amount
35:56
of guilt. We are being honest here, which I am. Yeah, for even
36:02
now, I've worked through a lot of it. So I don't have nearly as
36:06
much but those first year, first year for sure. Even the second
36:10
year, so much freaking guilt because I was the one who said,
36:16
we need to move past you know, we I was the one who left. I was
36:21
the one who initiated it, even though he agrees that the
36:25
relationship wasn't serving either one of us. And in fact, a
36:29
bout a year ago, we were having a conversation. And he's he's
36:33
the one who said, in order for us to if we were ever to get
36:37
back together, we would have to sacrifice and individually
36:41
sacrifice too much of who we are, to make it work. And that
36:47
was so profound for me. He was saying that because he knew I
36:53
was still dealing with a lot of guilt from it. And he was trying
36:57
to help me work through that. Hmm, which is a tremendous. See,
37:01
now you just keep taking me into a crying place. tribute to who
37:06
he is.
37:08
Janette Gallardo: Hmmm. Yeah, wow. And that is, I feel that
37:14
and by the way, tears, I find tears beautiful. So not shaming,
37:19
crying, I appreciate all emotions, and they're beautiful,
37:24
and they make us human, and they make us connect to others. So
37:30
thank you, thank you for for sharing, sharing with us. Um,
37:34
but I was gonna say, that piece where you're like, Okay, I'm out
37:39
of fine. And I and I am doing better. But I do find that it's
37:45
always we always have to work on ourselves, even when we're
37:49
outside of flying, even when we have done all the work, there's
37:52
always more work to be done. So we don't get a get, we don't, we
37:57
don't find the next 2.05 version of us, you know, like right now.
38:02
Like, you have to keep on going and doing the work. And I and I
38:07
do believe that's what you do in your program with those women
38:11
that, uh, you know, like they they are, um, they have done all
38:16
the work already there outside of fine or they're trying to get
38:19
outside outside of fine. And they don't want to get stuck in
38:23
the Fine, fine 2.0 version of themselves. So walk through
38:27
that.
38:27
Lori Saitz: That's a that's a great, a great analogy or a
38:30
great way to put it. And yeah, you know, I don't I will talk
38:35
about that. And then we can since we kind of brought it full
38:39
circle back to the whole idea of that education and learning is a
38:44
lifelong process. And then we can we can wrap it up because we
38:51
could go on forever. But yeah, I like to keep them a little bit
38:56
condensed. Um Yeah, I mean, that's part of the the program
39:01
is really just about giving people tools. It's
39:06
accountability. It's a group program because groups tend to
39:11
you know, you have the support of each other. So when I do
39:15
private client, which I do also, but I that you know, you have me
39:19
as the support. But when you have a group then you have a
39:24
small, small tribe, to support you as well to share ideas to
39:29
share experiences to help everybody feel like okay, I'm
39:33
not alone in this. I'm not the only one who feels guilt around
39:37
this. I'm not the only one struggling with meditating or
39:41
I'm not the only one struggling with making these decisions,
39:44
whatever it is, finding purpose. The it is it's a lifelong
39:51
ongoing experience, which is why we need to know why there are so
39:55
many different programs, so many different books, so many
39:58
different podcasts. There's there's perspective from every
40:02
single one of them that is different and useful.
40:06
Janette Gallardo: Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. So yeah, for
40:10
sure. It's always a work work to be done and, and growth is just
40:15
consistent every day type of thing. So finally our last
40:21
question to end today's interview. In baseball, there's
40:26
what's known as your walk up song. What is yours? The one
40:33
that pumps you up. The one that gets you ready? Yeah.
40:36
Lori Saitz: So you're asking the girl who has spent time as an on
40:40
air radio personality who loves music? And that's why I
40:47
implemented this question in my podcast. So I of course have so
40:52
many songs and I make my guests choose one. So if I had to only
40:57
choose one, it would probably be Carrie Underwood's Champion.
41:02
However, it could also be Van Halen/Van Hagar because that's
41:09
what the era was, but their song Right Now.
41:13
Janette Gallardo: Oh, I love that.
41:15
Lori Saitz: So I will put links to both of those in the show
41:19
notes and and P!nk. I mean, almost everything P!nk. Her
41:23
songs totally get you pumped up. Yeah, those are
41:29
Janette Gallardo: I love those like they also the contrast of
41:32
each of them. Love love.
41:35
Lori Saitz: yeah, I diversity, diversity and music tastes for
41:40
sure.
41:41
Janette Gallardo: I love that. So well, thank you. Thank you
41:44
for opening up to us and sharing your story. And I love that we
41:48
get to learn more about you and who's behind the microphone and
41:52
the interview. So thank you and gratitude.
41:56
Lori Saitz: Thank you Janette for being such an amazing host
42:00
of my own podcast. And for offering to in fact suggesting
42:06
this was your idea to do this episode and I thought it was
42:09
such a great, great thing to do for Episode 25. So thank you so
42:13
much for joining me here on Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
42:18
Janette Gallardo: Thank you have a beautiful rest of your day.
42:20
Bye.