Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / Creating Your Comeback: Building a Game Plan for Life’s Transitions

Transcript

Creating Your Comeback: Building a Game Plan for Life’s Transitions · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: You are listening to episode 44.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: The last couple of weeks on the pod, I've been discussing how to support both your single parent friends or yourself, if you're single, and then how to support the children who transition from one home to another every week as they make that transition from summer back to school.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: It looks easy but if not handled consistently, it can lead to major chaos.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I will put the links to both shows in the show notes for you, just in case you missed them.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I have three questions for you today.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Number one are you stuck?
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Number two, do you know where you're headed?
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: And number three do you have a plan?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about building a game plan for your life.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: You may be asking what is a game plan?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Well, as a former coach of athletes, you prepare for each game or match with a game plan on how you want your team to execute on the court.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: The great thing about game plans is that they are not written in stone.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: They are adjusted, tweaked or changed completely as the game progresses.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: In this instance, the game is your life.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: It is a guideline for what you know ahead of time of your opponent's strengths and weaknesses, and then you can capitalize on this knowledge and how you will proceed to win.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: The game can capitalize on this knowledge and how you will proceed to win the game.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: There could be some surprises in your game forcing you to change your plan, but on the flip side, it could also force you to stick with what you have already mapped out.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Here's what I know.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I never write a game plan with a sharpie.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I always write in pencil because of the surprises that arise are easily erased.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: As a life coach, it's no different Coaching athletes to do their best, pushing them to not give up and hoping for the win, or hoping because we know sometimes the execution is not there.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: But in life we have those surprises.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Some are for our benefit and some are detrimental to us in all the ways.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I call these life transitions and we have three stages of each transition.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I quickly want to refresh your memory on them, and then we will dive into what a game plan could look like which is specifically unique to you.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: First we have shock.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: When you are shocked by a transition, you suddenly feel like you don't have a purpose.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: You can't think straight and everything seems like a mountain you must climb, daunting at best and numbing at the worst.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: There are many styles, but you have zero idea what comes next.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: You are numb.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: You desperately want to get to the other side of this mess.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: However, your chasm is vast and you will want to be tethered to a lifeline or else you will fall off the deep end.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Shock helps reduce your awareness of your physical or emotional pain by dulling your senses, making you numb and reducing your conscious cognizance of the event.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: The second phase is limbo, and it is the wilderness of every transition.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: The thing is without limbo, we don't grow or learn.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: We have to find the resources to help us walk through it.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: It is a time of humility, gratefulness and just taking that first step, you're coming out of shock, wondering what the next steps are.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: This is an information stage.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: This helps build the foundation for your game plan.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: The last stage is re-entry, and it is re-entering a world that has gone by without giving you notice of all the changes.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Listen, regardless of the transition you are in divorce or empty nester or retirement, or maybe you find yourself in a new career and maybe you've even lost a spouse.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Re-entry is hard.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: It's at best awkward and at its worst sad and depressing.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: You've been buried and raising your kids, figuring out custody schedules, working, surviving and grieving.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Now it's final or over.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Now that you are familiar with the three stages again, I want to focus on what exactly is a game plan?
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: A game plan is a strategy that we build together that is planned for your next steps.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Let me give you an example from one of my clients.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: She approached me a year ago and said I need you to be my business coach.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I've just sold my business and I'm walking into retirement.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: However, I want to keep my feet in the game a little, so I need your help to help me lay it out.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: So we had a two-hour discovery meeting.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: I asked specific questions about what retirement looked like for her.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: What did she want?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: What did she not want?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: She filled me in on her life and I took notes.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: She had a list of to-dos's.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: She wanted to finish and wasn't sure of a timeline.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: She wanted a couple of months off to prepare, to get rest and clear her head before she started.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: So after her meeting, I went back to the office and wrote a life script for her.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: A life script is a tool I use to write out the next steps, desires and dreams that you've shared with me.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: It is futuristic, which allows you to visualize the accomplishments of what we've talked about, of these steps and these goals.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: At our very next meeting I read this to her.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: She was completely surprised by this and got emotional.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: She was completely surprised by this and got emotional.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: So from there we narrowed it down to what was most important to her and to her timeline.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: This was her specific game plan.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: The beauty in the game plan is this we all know there are obstacles and that life has a way of getting in the way and everything can be adjusted or changed.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Please hear me say that Everything can be adjusted or changed.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: So she's decided to start a new company, have a new website, a logo and everything, and wants to work three to four days a week.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: She now knows, after trial and error and adjusting her game plan, what she wants to do and the things she does not want to do.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: We've mapped out on a timeline and right now she's ahead of schedule on 90% of the things that she and I talked about.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: She is very coachable, willing to do her homework and follows through on everything.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: You give her something to do and it's done typically by the next day.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: She's amazing, but her game plan is completely different than yours.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: It is the ability to hear and read through the lines at times to determine what is best for you.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: It can't be cookie cutter because we're all different.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: The elements are similar, but the plan is yours alone.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: So if you find yourself stuck or in limbo today about what's next, then I would be happy to discuss this on a quick discovery call.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Let me help you game plan for where your life is headed and then you can dare to begin to live off the bench.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: There's a link in the show notes for you to sign up for a call.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: My email is there and you are welcome to email me.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I hope this helps you kind of understand what a game plan looks like so that maybe we can get you on the right path to living out your purpose and what's next to get you off of the bench.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: That's it for today.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Thanks for being here.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I hope you'll join me next week as I talk about the two big transitions that happened for me this summer.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: You won't want to miss.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I'll see you then.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash until next week.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: You