Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – do butterflies feel humans in their stomachs?

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – do butterflies feel humans in their stomachs? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Uh-oh. Here we go.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Here we go.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Here is another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: KFM Mornings. All right, gather round.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Let's have some guesses of how many questions I will
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: ask in this morning's senseless survey. Okay.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Sherlyn, throw a guess at me, please. Eight questions. Eight questions.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Sibs?
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Nine, ten, or eleven. Nine. Okay.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Rami's?
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: 12 questions. 12 questions and producer Brad? 13, 14, 15.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: You see now. Let's cover our bases. Stop being silly,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: you lot. Stop being silly, all right?
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: One of us is correct, I'm sure. We'll see about that.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: No more takers on the WhatsApp telephone. This is where
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I ask very, very important questions. To the nation that
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: we deserve answers for, and I'll get the best from you.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So here is the census survey. Hello?
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Good morning, ma'am.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I'm calling you from the Census Bureau of South Africa.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I'm Agent 416. I'm just phoning to ask you a
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: couple of questions for your country. It'll only take you
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: about 30 seconds, okay? Yes. When butterflies fall in love,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: do they feel people in their stomachs?
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: What? I don't think so.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: And what if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: at least 80 years to kill us all? That's a possibility.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: If Pinocchio said, my nose is about to grow, what
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: would happen?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: He's lying.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: If Usain Bolt was your father, how would you run
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: away from a hiding? I suppose you can't run away.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Can you describe the taste of water? The taste of water.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: What does it taste like?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Like water.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Is it possible to have an awkward silence in sign language?
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: I suppose.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Ma'am, have you ever started humming a ringtone midway through
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: a boring conversation? No. If a cow laughed real hard,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: would milk come out of its nose? No. If three
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: people are doing the dirty, it's a threesome. If two people,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: it's a twosome. So then why is handsome a compliment?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: It is a compliment. I don't know.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Sorry, ma'am. Am I taking up your time here?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: It is taking rather long.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, I only have one more question.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Did you know that when a large group of cyclists
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: is obstructing traffic, you must be patient because they are
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: busy with the Tour de Midlife crisis?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: That's a good idea.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: What if the light at the end of your life
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: is actually the light you see coming out of your
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: mom's in the next life? Wow. Imagine for the ride
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: to end, only for it to start again.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Samsara.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: The wheel.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: I know you're thinking about it. That's what you want.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and imagine the doc's like, it's a beautiful baby boy.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: No, not Australian. That is your Senseless Survey. We'll announce
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: the winner next.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: It's Katy Perry on KFM Mornings last Friday night.