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August 11 – Healing What Still Hurts · The Daily Ripples Podcast

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  Today's August 11th, Healing What Still Hurts. We still got Pastor Mike
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  in Paris with us, but today we got the stone.
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  God often uses the pain I face honestly to heal the pain I've
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  carried for years. Ripple 1 practical: Today I'll stop
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  running from old wounds and resentments. What remains buried often
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  continues to shape my reactions in relationships.
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  Honest self-examination may be uncomfortable, but it is often
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  the first step towards freedom. That's uncomfortable.
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  Ripple too spiritual, Michael. As I face my past
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  with honesty and grace, the Holy Spirit removes what still cuts
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  and hinders so I can move forward with greater peace.
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  The Father does not expose my wounds to shape me, but to heal
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  me. And Jesus shows me that truth and freedom walk
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  hand in hand. Yeah, this part in here where you have,
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  uh, continues to shape my reactions.
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  Yeah, I was thinking about that and I was talking to a friend
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  of mine and we were talking about, uh,
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  and she's, man, she's in this different kind of thing of, uh,
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  it's like Celebrate, whatever, but they make their own topics.
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  And so she sent me her topic of what she was going to share on
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  this Sunday and asked me what I saw. They don't have like literature that they
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  would do or whatever. You know, whatever. You know, you can just think of something
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  about peanut butter and have it on peanut butter. I don't know. It's kind of
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  weird to me, but it's cool. It works for them. I mean, I could probably
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  write a sermon about it, but, but so
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  she was, she was making this example of the spiral
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  and how recovery is kind of like a spiral. And I asked
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  her some questions and I was like, hey, man, like, you know, I hope it's
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  not. Right? Because I hope this isn't the— I hope
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  I don't have the same reactions because especially on page
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  64, right? Because it says, we searched out the flaws
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  in our own makeup, which caused our failure.
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  And so I think about maybe these things that have been causing my failure
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  my whole life, maybe because it's
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  not maybe, it's what I found. It's not been always
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  of what I've done, it's been my point of view and the way I viewed
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  everything. So if I'd maybe, you know, because on page 52 it says, right,
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  it says, you know, our theory or gadget which doesn't work for
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  something new which does. You know, we had to quit looking at our human problems
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  and start looking at our point of view. And maybe, so to me, it's been
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  my point of view my whole life rather than all this other stuff.
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  And, you know, so that spiral, I asked her, I said, man, like, I feel
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  like myself, self-manifested in different ways, can be in a spiral.
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  But I want freedom to get out of that spiral so it's not
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  keep on happening over and over and over, because then I'm not really growing.
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  And so was she meaning spiral in terms of as she continued
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  to uncover negative aspects of her past, she would spiral into
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  a more negative frame of mind? Or what did she mean? I liked how she
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  put it because the spiral doesn't stop, right? Okay. You know what I mean?
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  It's always constantly moving. So more like going in circles,
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  right? But you're constantly moving and growing. But, you know,
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  she had a good thought to it, but there was no out of it,
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  right? Yeah. And there was no escaping. And I showed—
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  I pointed her to page 26 and 27 of
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  the Big Book because it talks about freedom, right? Talks about the free man.
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  And it said— and I think about freedom. And I don't think freedom
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  exists inside of a spiral. So in page
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  26 says, but this man still lives and he is a free
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  man. He does not need a bodyguard, nor is he confined. He can go
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  anywhere on this earth where other free men may go without
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  disaster, provided he remains willing to maintain a certain simple
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  attitude, simple attitude, perspective, point of view.
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  Right. Right. If my point of view going into life is love,
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  it's not this— I'm not looking at what I can take from you,
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  what you leave behind when you leave. If you got to run to the gas
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  station, leave your stuff behind so you don't get pulled over with it, right?
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  So I can take what you have. Yeah, hold it,
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  hold it stock in inventory. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, so I'm not doing
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  that today, you know. And so I think, you know, today when I
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  look at the world in a loving view, My perspective is different
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  and I'm not stuck in that spiral. And by the way,
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  and she knows who she is, I'm really grateful for your listening and I'm
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  not trying to call you out, but it's a good example.
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  I like that. You know what I mean? When you talk about freedom, right?
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  When you talk about the spiral. See, we go
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  through this stuff because we ain't surrendering. Freedom is
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  all about surrendering to me. Because it says it on
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  You just read it, page 64, but resentment is the
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  number one offender.
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  We not only see how the disease has messed
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  up our spiritual process, it's not just spiritual,
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  it's mentally and physically. We have to straighten it out.
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  And that's the only way I get to that freedom is by going deep inside,
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  looking at your inventory, seeing what I was doing wrong,
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  and hurt people. I know the topic is,
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  that's what I was looking at on the practical part where it talks about,
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  oh, I done skipped over. There we go. The first step towards freedom, right?
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  That first step towards freedom is to write it down on paper. Once you
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  write it down, we looking at it. And this is not even outside
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  of recovery. You know what I mean? I think this will help anyone.
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  When we look through our past, go through that stuff, what's bothering us,
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  the trauma, And when we actually surrender that
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  up, that's when that freedom comes. Like you were talking about the free man,
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  right? You know, to get up out that spiraling cycle. That's— and that's
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  what I believe. What do you think, Michael?
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  Well, in our practical ripple that,
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  you know, we read today, it says, what remains buried often
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  continues to shape my reactions and relationships. And I certainly
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  found that to be true. And I think about this that part in
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  particular today, I think about it in context of when I
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  did my own Fourth Step for the first time, because going into
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  my Fourth Step, I had basically everything,
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  every resentment, fear, and everything that I had was buried down so deep that I
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  couldn't even see it until I sat down and started writing a Fourth
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  Step, because I was one of those guys that told my sponsor, well, I don't
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  really have any resentments, so how am I going to make a list of my
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  resentments? I love everybody. I don't have a
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  problem with anybody. I'll just go along to get along. Man, that was some
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  BS. And that means before salvation.
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  But anyway, that was before looking at
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  some of that stuff. And what I found was that
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  there was a lot in there that I had to, in that process of writing
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  it down, I had to let, almost let my higher power,
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  God, kind of break me open to get at what I had
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  buried so deep so that I could even see it. To begin to set
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  it right and to heal from it. And that's what it says, as I face
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  my past with honesty and grace, under spiritual ripple, that the Holy Spirit
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  removes what still cuts and hinders so I can
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  move forward. And that points me, today I was
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  thinking about that, we're getting ready for this episode about
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  Psalm 147, and it's the 3rd verse. It says that
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  he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
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  Yeah, I might have had to break a few things open to see what
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  I had buried down so deep, what was continuing, as it said,
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  in the practical, what was continuing to be buried that was shaping my reactions
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  and relationships. I had to get to a place where God could break that down
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  in me and for me, honestly, so that he could do
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  the second part of that verse, which is bind up my wounds. The way that
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  my wounds have been bound up so far in this program,
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  has been doing exactly what this program teaches us to do,
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  seeing what I've done wrong, trying to heal what
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  is still hurting. And my part in healing what's still hurting sometimes is
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  to go and make those amends. You know, we're going to be talking about 8
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  and 9 a lot this month, obviously, but that's part of the healing process because
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  it kind of forces me into a posture of humility to be able to do
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  it and to do it in the way that's actually going to accomplish the step
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  for me. You know what's— yeah, I know we're talking about that, but, you know,
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  I was thinking about this. I was thinking about the first step.
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  I was thinking about, you know, you know, we can, you know, we can talk
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  and, you know, you know,
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  feel out whatever, you know, talk about all this stuff we're
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  doing, right? About steps 8, step 9, and 4 and 5.
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  But then I was thinking, you know, because like there's like one thing that
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  had to come before all of that, right? And it was this utter defeat.
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  And I was thinking about on page 21, the 12 and 12, because it talks
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  about it. It says, our admission of personal powerlessness finally
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  turned out to be firm bedrock upon which happy
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  and purposeful lives can be built.
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  Right? So that first step
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  decision, right? And if it's not strong, man, I'm not going to do any
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  of this stuff. Yeah. Or you'll do the stuff until you get to a point
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  where you say, well, I don't want to do that one, right? Yeah. And because,
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  you know, I got a phone call from a dude today and like, man,
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  like, you know, he was like, hey man, you asked me to sponsor him.
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  He was like, I'm here. And like, you know, anyways, his sponsor lives not in
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  this state. Yeah, it's difficult. And, you know, but to do
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  that, to make that move, because I've, you know, I You know, I thought really
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  highly of that because when I moved to Ohio, you know,
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  my sponsor Doug, he was like, hey man, you need to get a sponsor while
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  you're up there. And I was like, all right. And, you know,
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  I didn't— I mean, I did. I met a gym buddy
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  anyways, but like, I could tell his son, but like, so, but I
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  think about like, you know, how willing am I? How willing am I
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  willing to go? And, you know, it says, you know, we were willing to go
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  to any lengths for victory over Alcart. But to do that,
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  and my grand sponsor was talking about this the other night when he was telling
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  a story. He was like, because everybody's,
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  when they came in, their sobriety date is sacred.
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  That's a sacred date. It's a sacred moment for each person
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  because nobody can take that from you. Nobody can
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  take that moment, that feeling, and that complete utter defeat of loss and don't
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  know which way's up. From anybody. And, you know, I, you know,
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  I used to look at, you know, time as something of like,
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  you know, to look at. And, you know, when he said that, I was thinking,
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  man, like, you know, I would never change a thing.
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  And I'm so grateful because, you know, without that firm bedrock,
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  I wouldn't be sitting here with you guys. I wouldn't be making amends. I wouldn't
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  be working with dudes. I wouldn't do any of this stuff because why would
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  I? Because you talking about that, uh,
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  you said, uh, about that the date is sacred,
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  right? Which day did you count, the day you stopped or the next day,
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  the 24 hours after? You know, see, I think about that and
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  like, do I count about how— what you count as your sobriety day? Yeah,
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  yeah, yeah. The, the first— this is the day after because
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  it's the first day that I was sober, first day I didn't drink. The day
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  before I drank. So that's why my, you know, my story ended on,
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  you know, March 12th, which was a Tuesday of that year. And the next
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  day, that Wednesday, is what I count March 13th as my sobriety date.
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  Well, you know, what's the third tradition? 3 hours later.
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  Well, you know, what's the third tradition? 3 hours later.
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  Oh, you got me right there. You got a pop quiz on us? Well,
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  no, did you have— I gotta have them listed in front of me
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  or so. I had them. They'll be calling us out like that live on the
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  internet. Yeah. Have a desire to stop drinking while you
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  were still drinking? Oh, that's amazing. That's true. Yeah, yeah, only requirement
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  for membership. Yeah, so if, if you didn't, why would
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  you say, hey, you know, the night that the SWAT team came in,
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  that was because that wasn't even my night anyways? You know what's funny?
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  Like, all these 13 years in that I've
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  been, I've always just hoped that I counted the right date, and you guys
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  just affirmed it. I was just telling y'all how much I appreciate y'all, so that
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  That's continuing to unfold today too.
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  Do you like how I did that? That weave that over there?
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  Hey, it came out of my head. It's not like I didn't hear that stuff
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  before. It sounded right. So, and that's
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  where knowing the literature inside and out comes
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  in handy because there's 3 of us in the room and only one of them
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  who did the Third Tradition by memory, right? I'm going to end
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  this with a prayer. Yes. But Father God, give me the courage to
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  face what still hurts. Through your Holy Spirit, heal the wounds
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  that continue to hold me back. Shape my life
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  through the example of Jesus and lead me into truth, freedom, and peace.
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  Amen. Amen. A rather long
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  one. I like these, uh, ones that end up with some
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  laughter and fun in the middle of them.