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From Canceled Flights to Comedy Nights: Embracing Chaos with Danny Palmer · The Danny Palmer Show

• 0:07
  Danny Palmer: Well, I don't need to fall at your feet just because you cut me to the bone, and I won't miss the way that you kiss me.
• 0:17
  Danny Palmer: We were never carved in stone and I'm just going to shift from a song to a William Shatner speak-along thing, like that pulp song he did.
• 0:24
  Danny Palmer: If I don't listen to the talk of the town, then maybe, just maybe, I can fool myself.
• 0:30
  Danny Palmer: I'll get over you.
• 0:32
  Danny Palmer: I know I will.
• 0:32
  Danny Palmer: I'll get over you, I know I will.
• 0:33
  Danny Palmer: I'll pretend my ship's not sinking and I'll tell myself I'm over you Because I'm the king of wishful thinking.
• 0:41
  Danny Palmer: That Peter Gabriel song is so good.
• 0:44
  Danny Palmer: Just kidding, it's Go West.
• 0:45
  Danny Palmer: Who the fuck is Go West?
• 0:46
  Danny Palmer: Is that like a one-hit wonder or something?
• 0:48
  Danny Palmer: Is Peter Gabriel in Go West?
• 0:51
  Danny Palmer: We may never know, because I'm not going to look that up.
• 0:54
  Danny Palmer: Sorry, pal, and by sorry pal I mean my devoted listeners across the globe.
• 0:59
  Danny Palmer: Germany, number one international market, always has been, hopefully always will be.
• 1:03
  Danny Palmer: What's up?
• 1:04
  Danny Palmer: German, germany, germans?
• 1:06
  Danny Palmer: Was that germane to the discussion?
• 1:09
  Danny Palmer: What are we doing?
• 1:10
  Danny Palmer: Okay, thank you for listening to my podcast.
• 1:11
  Danny Palmer: My name name is Danny Palmer.
• 1:12
  Danny Palmer: I do stand-up comedy in New York City.
• 1:16
  Danny Palmer: I've had this podcast for like four years.
• 1:17
  Danny Palmer: This is like the 360th episode or some shit.
• 1:20
  Danny Palmer: Has the podcast taken off and provided a primary source of income for me over time?
• 1:25
  Danny Palmer: It is not.
• 1:25
  Danny Palmer: Will it ever Feels unlikely?
• 1:28
  Danny Palmer: Will I stop doing the podcast?
• 1:31
  Danny Palmer: Apparently not feels unlikely.
• 1:32
  Danny Palmer: Will I stop doing the podcast?
• 1:33
  Danny Palmer: Apparently not, I mean, at this point.
• 1:34
  Danny Palmer: I've been doing it for so long.
• 1:34
  Danny Palmer: It's like I'm not gonna stop doing it, you know.
• 1:36
  Danny Palmer: And also it's kind of like therapy.
• 1:38
  Danny Palmer: It's a little bit of a like, kind of a self-therapy to say your ideas out loud in a format where you're speaking to maybe not a big audience, but a true, truly global audience and a lot of different cities around the country.
• 1:51
  Danny Palmer: So you have to think about what you're saying.
• 1:55
  Danny Palmer: Is this bad, not nice or cruel?
• 1:59
  Danny Palmer: You don't want to say anything that's going to come back to haunt you later.
• 2:03
  Danny Palmer: She doesn't really put thought into the words that you're expressing in the pod, and I think that's a healthy and productive exercise and I also like to use it as a tool for, like, self-evaluation and growth and learning.
• 2:14
  Danny Palmer: And, okay, how can I get better at X, y or Z?
• 2:17
  Danny Palmer: You know, that's, that's.
• 2:18
  Danny Palmer: That's nice, that's a nice thing.
• 2:19
  Danny Palmer: Okay, I just got back from, uh, by the way, my Instagram handle if you want to follow me.
• 2:25
  Danny Palmer: It's at Danny Palmer, nyc.
• 2:27
  Danny Palmer: Um, I also operate the at black hat comedy instagram page.
• 2:35
  Danny Palmer: I run a dope show every friday night, black cat les.
• 2:36
  Danny Palmer: It's a cool coffee shop on manhattan's lower east side.
• 2:38
  Danny Palmer: We turn it into like a comedy club basically, and uh, people are smoking weed and drinking dude, so it's like sick.
• 2:45
  Danny Palmer: You can have fun and then it's like it's like a young crowd.
• 2:47
  Danny Palmer: My friend, amy cardinale she's a funny comic she said that she loves doing black hat to watch, um, horrified nyu students stare at her for 10 minutes, which I thought was pretty fucking funny dude.
• 2:59
  Danny Palmer: Um, okay, there we go.
• 3:02
  Danny Palmer: I've completed my little promo thing, you know.
• 3:05
  Danny Palmer: Um, yeah, I just I just got back from uh, washington dc.
• 3:11
  Danny Palmer: Julio gall, my good friend he's very kind, often lets me open for him on the road.
• 3:16
  Danny Palmer: We went down there.
• 3:17
  Danny Palmer: Okay, listen to this shit, dude, I go down there on.
• 3:20
  Danny Palmer: I'm supposed to go down on a Wednesday night, right, so I can work from my hotel in DC.
• 3:23
  Danny Palmer: There was one show on Thursday, two shows on Friday, two shows on Saturday.
• 3:27
  Danny Palmer: So Wednesday night I I get.
• 3:30
  Danny Palmer: Oh, my god, am I doing the thing that I don't like I used to listen to, uh, tuesdays with stories a lot with joe list and mark norman.
• 3:39
  Danny Palmer: I'm friends with both of them.
• 3:39
  Danny Palmer: It's a great podcast.
• 3:40
  Danny Palmer: I listened to probably hundreds of episodes.
• 3:41
  Danny Palmer: But you know they're professional full-time traveling comics and so I felt like oftentimes their stories would involve travel.
• 3:46
  Danny Palmer: And then I'm like, well, if I do a pod, I should probably try to steer clear of that a little bit.
• 3:50
  Danny Palmer: And now what am I doing?
• 3:51
  Danny Palmer: I'm telling a travel comedy story.
• 3:52
  Danny Palmer: So who the fuck am I?
• 3:53
  Danny Palmer: You know, danny, you fucking hypocrite piece of shit, fucking loser.
• 3:59
  Danny Palmer: I think it's just fun to say fucking loser, dude.
• 4:03
  Danny Palmer: Anyways, I go to LaGuardia just sitting at the gate waiting.
• 4:06
  Danny Palmer: You know there were storms, oh yeah.
• 4:08
  Danny Palmer: When I storms, oh yeah, when I arrived at la guardia it was, it was literally raining sideways.
• 4:11
  Danny Palmer: That's probably not a great sign for your flight getting off the ground.
• 4:14
  Danny Palmer: Or if it does get off the ground, it's gonna be bumpy as fuck.
• 4:17
  Danny Palmer: You know your fucking door will fall off of the of the, your the panel will fall off just from the wind anyway, uh yeah.
• 4:24
  Danny Palmer: So I, I did, I literally, I literally walked around la guardia for four hours.
• 4:29
  Danny Palmer: It's was my flight.
• 4:30
  Danny Palmer: I kept getting delayed, kept getting delayed.
• 4:33
  Danny Palmer: I ate dinner by myself.
• 4:34
  Danny Palmer: I had my headphones in, I was listening to like sick tunes, maybe smoking a little John Bud, little Bud, you know.
• 4:41
  Danny Palmer: And then my flight got canceled and then there were no more flights out that next, that night, the next day, there weren't flights out until like late afternoon, which would have made me miss the Thursday night show in DC.
• 4:55
  Danny Palmer: So then I just like went home, went to bed, got up at like five thirty in the morning, took a train down to DC and I made it in time and it all worked out fine and it was super fun.
• 5:20
  Danny Palmer: But I was thinking, if you just had a camera observing my behavior from 5 pm to 10 pm last Wednesday night and didn't understand the context of what had happened, you'd probably think I was completely insane.
• 5:25
  Danny Palmer: Dude, this guy packed bags, went to LaGuardia, listened to music, walked around for four hours, ate dinner by himself, and then just went, just went home.
• 5:33
  Danny Palmer: Dude, why don't you just stay home?
• 5:36
  Danny Palmer: Why are you going to the airport like a fucking psycho, dude?
• 5:41
  Danny Palmer: It's bizarre, but you paid for a ticket and didn't go anywhere and then just went back home in a cab.
• 5:47
  Danny Palmer: My cab driver was like oh, that's hey where you get in from man.
• 5:50
  Danny Palmer: I'm like, uh, here I was not able to take off, literally.
• 5:56
  Danny Palmer: Okay, there we go.
• 5:57
  Danny Palmer: It's one story in the books.
• 6:00
  Danny Palmer: And then we did it, the uh dc comedy, loft, me and hannah dickinson she's funny as fuck.
• 6:05
  Danny Palmer: By the way, I didn't.
• 6:06
  Danny Palmer: I know her instagram handle by heart.
• 6:07
  Danny Palmer: You should follow her.
• 6:08
  Danny Palmer: It's eight at hands dickie, h-a-n-s and then d-i-c-k-i-e.
• 6:12
  Danny Palmer: She's so cool, she says she's so funny.
• 6:14
  Danny Palmer: You know, you're like, oh, my friend's a g, like a cool guy, like handles like a g dude, she's fucking, cool as fuck and she's funny as fuck.
• 6:21
  Danny Palmer: And then we did two shows friday.
• 6:22
  Danny Palmer: We did two shows saturday.
• 6:23
  Danny Palmer: It was crazy, man, and I feel like usually with stand-up comedy, the saturday shows, typically the audience is kind of looser, more relaxed.
• 6:33
  Danny Palmer: You know, friday most people work all day and then if they have to turn around and make it to a show, you know it's kind of a lot of effort to put out on a workday, but then on Saturday you can sleep in, take a shower, so like.
• 6:46
  Danny Palmer: But it was the opposite.
• 6:48
  Danny Palmer: Like the crowds on Saturday there were great crowds all five shows, but they were definitely a little bit more difficult to win over than the crowds on friday, which I thought was interesting.
• 6:56
  Danny Palmer: But anyways, more importantly, julio fucking murdered all five shows headlining for an hour.
• 7:01
  Danny Palmer: Hannah killed it.
• 7:03
  Danny Palmer: Hannah's so funny dude.
• 7:03
  Danny Palmer: It was great, it was fucking awesome.
• 7:05
  Danny Palmer: Then we flew to atlanta on uh, sunday and that was the first place I ever performed stand-up comedy.
• 7:11
  Danny Palmer: I don't know why I'm using this platform as a diary right now, but I don't know.
• 7:14
  Danny Palmer: I feel like if you're interested in stand-up comedy, this could be kind of interesting.
• 7:18
  Danny Palmer: You know, and we did the Atlanta Punchline.
• 7:21
  Danny Palmer: I had friends from College Comm, they were so nice and stuff, and then we'd yeah, so that was the whole thing that happened, and yeah, so I guess that story's pretty much over now.
• 7:31
  Danny Palmer: Danny, k-bud, k-bud I like to say K-bud like in a condescending manner towards people.
• 7:37
  Danny Palmer: I think it's fun to be like intentionally condescending.
• 7:40
  Danny Palmer: Okay, wow, this has been only seven and a half minutes, so I really need to.
• 7:46
  Danny Palmer: I mean, I didn't have a lot of time this week to like capture pod things because I was like fucking working, working, go to dc, work all day.
• 7:57
  Danny Palmer: It's you know I, that's you know.
• 7:58
  Danny Palmer: What am I complaining about?
• 7:59
  Danny Palmer: I'm very like, fortunate and blessed to be able to have a job where I can work in a hotel.
• 8:04
  Danny Palmer: Oh yeah, dude, I worked in the hotel in atlanta on monday, which is two days earlier than the release of this podcast, and then the peak in atlanta it was like 87 coverage or something like that.
• 8:16
  Danny Palmer: The peak was at like uh, 3 pm and I had a call at three.
• 8:20
  Danny Palmer: So I just went outside, I just wore these.
• 8:23
  Danny Palmer: You ever like just go from your room in a hotel downstairs to get breakfast or something?
• 8:28
  Danny Palmer: And then you're like I don't give a fuck what I look like.
• 8:31
  Danny Palmer: I don't give a green, god damn, look like I don't give a green, god damn.
• 8:34
  Danny Palmer: Dude.
• 8:34
  Danny Palmer: That's what I did.
• 8:35
  Danny Palmer: I just walked outside looking like a fucking maniac, looking for people with the eclipse glasses.
• 8:40
  Danny Palmer: The ladies at the front desk didn't have any.
• 8:42
  Danny Palmer: I was kind of disappointed by that.
• 8:44
  Danny Palmer: Like, come on, dude, shouldn't, like national chains have eclipse glasses provided at each of their multiple hundred locations?
• 8:53
  Danny Palmer: I feel like that's reasonable.
• 8:55
  Danny Palmer: I might lodge a complaint.
• 8:58
  Danny Palmer: Anyways, I found this lady outside.
• 8:59
  Danny Palmer: She let me borrow her glasses.
• 9:00
  Danny Palmer: I go hey, miss, I'm so sorry, can I borrow your glasses?
• 9:03
  Danny Palmer: She goes, oh sure.
• 9:04
  Danny Palmer: And then, as I was walking towards her, I go, don't worry, I don't have lice.
• 9:08
  Danny Palmer: And she goes what?
• 9:09
  Danny Palmer: And I was like I don't, I don't have lice.
• 9:16
  Danny Palmer: She's like why are we making a lice comment?
• 9:17
  Danny Palmer: Dana, you don't have hair.
• 9:18
  Danny Palmer: I don't need to hear this like lice idea.
• 9:19
  Danny Palmer: You know what I mean.
• 9:20
  Danny Palmer: Um, anyways, can I just say one thing about dc?
• 9:23
  Danny Palmer: Like, I really like dc.
• 9:25
  Danny Palmer: It's cool, it's beautiful at night.
• 9:28
  Danny Palmer: You know the potomac, the roads are usually pretty like smooth.
• 9:32
  Danny Palmer: I don't know why I brought that fact up, but it has so many fucking traffic circles, dude, like what the fuck?
• 9:38
  Danny Palmer: And then the like the dispensaries are unusual.
• 9:42
  Danny Palmer: Like there's some that just you can only get medical marijuana and you have to sign up for a card, and then others you don't have to sign up for a card, you don't have to do anything except have a license.
• 9:52
  Danny Palmer: And then you can get mushrooms and weed and those like why do you have ones that you need?
• 9:56
  Danny Palmer: I don't know, I don't know.
• 9:57
  Danny Palmer: But also I think it's kind of interesting that, like weed and shrooms are completely legal in the nation's capital, even though both are against federal policy.
• 10:07
  Danny Palmer: It's like what don't you think that the feds would just be?
• 10:11
  Danny Palmer: like hey, not here, not here anywhere, but here go to like fucking bethesda or like chevy chase, but not here.
• 10:18
  Danny Palmer: You pieces of shit.
• 10:19
  Danny Palmer: But now do you see it's all fucking.
• 10:22
  Danny Palmer: Yeah, all right.
• 10:23
  Danny Palmer: Well, that's the end of that story.
• 10:25
  Danny Palmer: So what else do I got?
• 10:26
  Danny Palmer: Oh, yeah, dude.
• 10:27
  Danny Palmer: Let me just do a quick pitch for sia.
• 10:29
  Danny Palmer: Oh, my god, her new song with labyrinth.
• 10:31
  Danny Palmer: She and labyrinth and um diplo used to have a group lsd this song incredible.
• 10:37
  Danny Palmer: It's her new single that came out last week.
• 10:39
  Danny Palmer: It's so, it is an incredible, incredible dude.
• 10:43
  Danny Palmer: Sia is the is a fucking.
• 10:45
  Danny Palmer: She's a g.
• 10:45
  Danny Palmer: Sia and hannah dickinson are g's.
• 10:47
  Danny Palmer: Dude like that.
• 10:48
  Danny Palmer: Sia does not miss with her fucking songs.
• 10:50
  Danny Palmer: It's super sick.
• 10:50
  Danny Palmer: Okay, I'll do a few more things.
• 10:50
  Danny Palmer: And Hannah Dickinson are Gs dude.
• 10:51
  Danny Palmer: Sia does not miss with her fucking songs.
• 10:51
  Danny Palmer: It's super sick.
• 10:51
  Danny Palmer: Okay, I'll do a few more things and we'll call it a fucking John dude.
• 10:56
  Danny Palmer: I thought this was interesting.
• 10:57
  Danny Palmer: I was reading this article about the Disney board.
• 10:59
  Danny Palmer: Like Bob Iger returned as the CEO and set out this vision for the company and now these activist investors wanted to, I think, boot him or just control the board.
• 11:09
  Danny Palmer: It's basically like a live succession, but except it's more current and real.
• 11:13
  Danny Palmer: And then I was reading some of this article and I thought this was interesting about the disney.
• 11:17
  Danny Palmer: Disney as a company.
• 11:18
  Danny Palmer: An unusually large amount of disney shares up to 40 are held by individuals, many of them fans of the company's movies and theme parks.
• 11:26
  Danny Palmer: On average, among public companies, individuals own closer to 15 of the shares.
• 11:31
  Danny Palmer: So it's like fucking more than double dude and uh, that's kind of cool.
• 11:36
  Danny Palmer: You know like people love it so much that they just want to own it.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: That's kind of neat like don't?
• 11:40
  Danny Palmer: yeah, like the people of green bay own the packers.
• 11:43
  Danny Palmer: That's kind of neato, you know.
• 11:44
  Danny Palmer: By the way, I've got this new joke.
• 11:45
  Danny Palmer: I'm trying to like make fun of bama fans and I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's fun to say, like when alabama made it to the final four.
• 11:53
  Danny Palmer: I feel like the majority of their fans are just huge football fans and know nothing about basketball.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: So this is my impression of them, just like well, apparently our alabama made it to the final four in basketball and I just, I just don't understand it.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Why would you only have five players in football?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: We got 11.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: That's more than double.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: You can add six more.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Why would you just have five In?
• 12:19
  Danny Palmer: football.
• 12:19
  Danny Palmer: You got a quarterback, you got a wide receiver.
• 12:21
  Danny Palmer: They love to stretch out their vowels in the South, but any vowel gets stretched out.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: You got a quarterback, you got a wide receiver, you got a safety A safety.
• 12:33
  Danny Palmer: Safety is fun to say.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Why would you only have five?
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: You can't even run no plays with five.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: You can't spread out the defense on the court.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: You need to have 11.
• 12:43
  Danny Palmer: Why doesn't basketball just basketball should add six players, dude wouldn't that be funny If basketball was 11 on 11, like the court, it's just too crowded.
• 12:54
  Danny Palmer: The fans just started to kind of disperse out the back of the arena, like I did.
• 12:59
  Danny Palmer: It's just nobody can get anywhere.
• 13:02
  Danny Palmer: It's too many people.
• 13:03
  Danny Palmer: It's just like watching a crowd at a concert rather than a sporting competition.
• 13:08
  Danny Palmer: That's fun.
• 13:09
  Danny Palmer: That's fun for me what I just said, okay.
• 13:11
  Danny Palmer: Okay, last thing I feel like I don't like how.
• 13:17
  Danny Palmer: I feel like most stand-up audiences are.
• 13:20
  Danny Palmer: Just, they're normal people, right.
• 13:21
  Danny Palmer: So if they have enough money to buy a ticket to a comedy show and they took a shower and they got dressed and they're with their like friends or their loved one, or even if they're by themselves, I feel like they've got the ability to understand social settings, right.
• 13:34
  Danny Palmer: Like, if you go to a restaurant, you go up to the host stand hey, can I be seated, please, please.
• 13:41
  Danny Palmer: There's a party of three.
• 13:42
  Danny Palmer: You know you don't knock anything over, you don't yell, you take a shower before you go to a restaurant, like people.
• 13:44
  Danny Palmer: People know not, maybe not everybody in society, but most people in polite society know how to behave.
• 13:50
  Danny Palmer: They've been to, you know, maybe, a concert well, I guess a concert you can talk, but they've been to like a broadway show, they've been to plays maybe they went to see the nutcracker when they were in elementary school they've been out in public, and I'm not saying that all comedy club audiences are perfectly behaved, but nobody is perfectly behaved anywhere.
• 14:10
  Danny Palmer: I just don't see why these oftentimes a club or an independent producer will give a long list of rules to the audience before the show starts and then they go.
• 14:21
  Danny Palmer: Okay, and now are you guys ready for some comedy?
• 14:23
  Danny Palmer: And I'm just looking at them and they're probably thinking not really, now that I've been scolded before I even had a chance to exhibit any form of behavior.
• 14:31
  Danny Palmer: I mean, I understand it from the club's perspective or individual producers perspective or whoever is enforcing these rules or stating these rules.
• 14:38
  Danny Palmer: They've had problems in the past.
• 14:40
  Danny Palmer: People have been unruly.
• 14:41
  Danny Palmer: They don't want that to happen again.
• 14:42
  Danny Palmer: So they want to spell it out clearly.
• 14:44
  Danny Palmer: I guess maybe, if I'm really thinking to this point a little better, it would just be like, like, just maybe a little bit more of a narrow point to it, you know, like okay we know everybody's been out the shows before in public, but please keep it down, if you can.
• 14:57
  Danny Palmer: Just a little bit more like deferential.
• 14:59
  Danny Palmer: You know, I don't like when people disrespect the audience, like I was at a show recently.
• 15:03
  Danny Palmer: In the comic, one of the comics just kind of like, said that the audience sucked and it's like these are the only 35 people on the face of the planet earth that have any interest in hearing what you have to say about anything.
• 15:14
  Danny Palmer: So why are you attacking?
• 15:15
  Danny Palmer: Attacking them, dude, respect the audience, dude.
• 15:17
  Danny Palmer: Okay, that's my final point.
• 15:19
  Danny Palmer: Oh, maybe I can make a good vibes video about respect the audience, dude.
• 15:21
  Danny Palmer: Okay, anyway, no one cares, maybe they do, maybe they do.
• 15:24
  Danny Palmer: Thank you for listening.
• 15:25
  Danny Palmer: Um, again, you can follow me at Danny Palmer, nyc.
• 15:27
  Danny Palmer: This pod drops and, yeah, come out to the show man, it's fun and you guys are neat.
• 15:36
  Danny Palmer: Thanks for listening.
• 15:36
  Danny Palmer: I appreciate it, and I usually end this podcast by saying a pretty vulgar sex-oriented word, so I'm certainly going to keep that tradition alive, thank you.