Latest / We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism / Ep. 46: Weight For It

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Ep. 46: Weight For It · We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the We Are More podcast. My name is Alyssa. And my name is Bree. We're two sisters passionate about all things faith and feminism. We believe that Jesus trusted, respected, and encouraged women to teach and preach his word, and apparently, that's controversial.
• 0:28
  Get Get comfy. Hello. After our brief hiatus, I just want everybody to know I'm feeling a little ugly today, so be patient with me. I like how you say that on a podcast where they can't possibly see you. Listen.
• 0:48
  And I I everybody can relate to that. Some days you feel just hot. You pass yourself by, you know, any reflective surface, and you're like, oh, dang. Look at that. But today's not one of those days.
• 1:02
  Today's just not that day for you? Yeah. And I've accepted it, and that's okay. Alright. But they need to know about it.
• 1:07
  Yeah. I want you to know that I see you, not literally. I feel you, not literally. I understand you literally. Ah, good.
• 1:19
  I'm glad we got there. You're welcome. It's been a long day. I've been working Working hard because I'm a singer. I think we made that joke in the last episode.
• 1:31
  Good. We have been referencing that song just on repeat at all times. Only that line, like, I'm working late because I'm a singer. But I've gotten everybody at work to say that as well. It's really annoying.
• 1:44
  I say it constantly, and every time the song comes on, my daughter and I, like, we scream that line. But But you also have to do it. I'm working late. Oh, yeah. Because I'm a singer.
• 1:56
  I don't even know yet. To be annoying. Yeah. You do have to be annoying about it. I don't know why.
• 2:00
  It's just part of our repertoire now. I don't know. It's like a a tick. So this week, we have been working a little bit on some more research y stuff, but specifically through a book that we're on the launch team for. So that's been really cool.
• 2:17
  Yeah. Our best friend, Beth. Our best friend. Has a new book coming out 03/18/2025. Just so everybody knows whether you're listening to this in the future or the past.
• 2:28
  In the past? Yeah. In case you have magical powers Don't question me. You've been reading fantasy books, so don't even start with me. So far, none of them have come from the past to discuss things with me.
• 2:42
  Well, you just haven't believed enough. Oh, I'll try. Anyways, our best friend, Beth, Alison Barr even fairies. I do. I do.
• 2:51
  Did anybody watch that movie? We're getting way off track. Way off track. Beth Alison Barr Yes. Doctor.
• 2:59
  She has a new book coming out called the Becoming the Pastor's Wife. I wanna say The Making a Biblical Woman. Nope. That's it. The old older book.
• 3:08
  Yep. Becoming the Pastor's Wife. Yes. And it's really good so far. I'm sneaking my way through it.
• 3:15
  Mhmm. Yep. We were fortunate enough to get advanced copies of it, and so we've been working through that. We've been posting to our socials about it so that everybody can kinda be aware Mhmm. That it's coming out.
• 3:26
  And it's a different book than she wrote The Making of Biblical Womanhood, which I feel like is our Goat to do. Oh, yeah. We talk about it all the time. We talk about it all the time. And that is her perspective.
• 3:40
  This new book is not necessarily her story even though she was a pastor's wife. Mhmm. But it's kind of a a combination of a little bit her story, but a lot of other research and other people's stories. So that's interesting. Yeah.
• 3:55
  And in the making of biblical womanhood, I know she referenced this, but I think this book really dives into specifically how there was a time when women were more valuable in the church before they got married. Mhmm. And then all of a sudden, as time went on, women who weren't married didn't have very much value in the church anymore. Mhmm. And married women held all the value.
• 4:24
  Mhmm. Not the power, mind you, because certainly women couldn't have power in the church, but the value. And I think that's where she's headed with this book. And, obviously, like, we're still working through it. We will do a full review on it Mhmm.
• 4:37
  Once we finish it up. I think it's an interesting perspective too because the men, typically, who are the pastors, they get all the title, they get all the, not glory, but, yeah, the glory. Kind of the glory. But as a pastor's wife, there are certain expectations of you. Right.
• 4:55
  And you don't get a choice. Like, if you say that if I was in college and I say, I feel like I'm being called to ministry. Mhmm. The conservative Christian world, she specifically talks about, like, the Southern Baptist. Mhmm.
• 5:07
  They would say, well, then it must mean that you're going to marry someone Right. Who is in ministry. Right. Because you can't possibly be called into ministry as a woman Mhmm. Even though here's 57 examples in the bible Right.
• 5:20
  Of women in ministry. But there's expectations of this, like, pastor's wife role Mhmm. Where you're doing all this work, but not getting paid for it, not getting the title of it, and it's just it needs to stop. Mhmm. I've seen countless examples of this in my own world through working in churches and then then just through being in churches.
• 5:43
  I mean, anybody who's attended a church throughout their life can probably point at the pastor's wife and say, my gosh. That woman is always doing something. She's always taking care of small group. Yeah. Or dealing with the children's ministry or whatever.
• 5:58
  Mhmm. But she's not getting paid for that. Mm-mm. She's not getting any accolades for that. Accolades for that.
• 6:05
  No one's thanking her. The church is getting the work of two people, but only paying one. Exactly. And, frankly, usually, you're not paying one all that well Yeah. Unless you're mad at megachurch.
• 6:14
  Yeah. But yeah. So we will do a full review on that book coming up in the near future. We We wanna make sure that we take a lot of time with it and can give you guys a full review of what we think, and, obviously, it's gonna be good. Mhmm.
• 6:27
  Obviously. It's Beth. It's our best friend. It's our best friend, Beth. So we're very excited about it.
• 6:33
  We're excited for you all to be able to read it. You can preorder it on Amazon. I got mine on Thriftbooks. Baker Book House also is a great one out of Grand Rapids that you can preorder through. So you can do that if you want, or if you have, like, a local bookstore, you can also, yeah, pick it up there, preorder through those.
• 6:51
  Usually usually, you can preorder. I don't know where you're at. But I would definitely recommend getting that as soon as possible, reading through it. It's so interesting. And if you haven't read her first book, definitely read that one.
• 7:05
  Yeah. I recommend so I listened to the audio audio book. The audio book first, and then I worked my way back through it once I had the physical copy because it's very informative. Yeah. There's so much good information, but you you need to read it twice.
• 7:23
  Well, you have to remember that she is a professor. She's a college professor of medieval history. Right. So some of it gets very it's such a great book, but some of it is very technical. Mhmm.
• 7:36
  And so it does help me a lot to sit there with a highlighter and just be like, alright. This is what we're focusing on here. Yep. You know? So it takes time to get through her books.
• 7:42
  Mhmm. They're not quick reads. They're not meant to be quick reads. They're meant to really make you think. Mhmm.
• 7:48
  So don't rush through it. Don't feel like you have to oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna power through this in twenty four hours. Like, that's not the kind of book this is. But yeah. So we're really excited about that.
• 7:57
  That's kinda taken up a lot of our time Mhmm. Over the last week, probably will over the next few weeks. Yeah. You will probably see a lot of posts on our social media with quotes from the books. Follow us for sneak peeks.
• 8:10
  Yeah. But this week, for our personal podcast, for this podcast, the one that you're listening to right now right here. Because it's our podcast. And not once. We are gonna talk about, oh, everybody's favorite topic.
• 8:25
  Are you ready for it? Are you ready for it? My no no squares. Oh, I'm uncomfy. That's not it.
• 8:34
  No. We're gonna be talking about weight loss. No. That's not really it. Kind of.
• 8:39
  That's, like, kind of what we're gonna be talking about. No. But we're gonna be talking about, like, self image. Mhmm. I would say is the better way to describe it.
• 8:46
  But part of that is weight. Mhmm. And we have talked a little bit about this in previous podcasts, but I really this has been on my soul the last couple of weeks. It's been burning at her veins. Veins.
• 8:58
  Yeah. I've been taking notes on my phone. Like, throughout the cup last couple of weeks, because, obviously, you took last week off. Mhmm. My brain has just been buzzing with things.
• 9:08
  If you don't know, she is doing a little dance right now. Bouncing on the bed. Stop it. You're giving me anxiety. Stop.
• 9:21
  So I have the last, I would say, couple of years, maybe specifically the last year, I, but also Brie and I, have been kind of on this, like, transformational journey. I don't know if you guys have noticed of just figuring out who we are as people Mhmm. And figuring out what we believe and deconstructing our faith and things like that. And that's internal. Mhmm.
• 9:48
  And that's important, of course, and we've talked about that many a time, and we'll keep talking about it. But what about external? Mhmm. What does the Bible say about your external self? Because, man, are we obsessed with it.
• 10:00
  Oh my god. I'm talking to the woman in the mirror. That's not what that song's about. I have been thinking a lot about weight loss groups at churches. Mhmm.
• 10:15
  So the church that we went to maybe about three years ago, something like that, had a weight loss group for women. Not not for men. They don't need to lose weight. They're perfect just for women. And I just remember, like, they would all get together, you know, once a week, and they would I I I didn't join it, so I don't know exactly what they would do.
• 10:38
  But they, like, made it a Christian event. Mhmm. It wasn't just like, I wanna get healthy. I wanna whatever. It was, like, god ordained weight loss.
• 10:51
  And I think that's what we've done. And I struggle with that a lot because I looked up what does the Bible say about weight loss. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
• 11:03
  Alright. The website that I'm on is out of ESV, and I'm not I don't know if you guys remember, but I'm not the biggest fan of the ESV. So as I read the references, I'm gonna have Bree look them up in the NLT for me. So the first one, and I think the one that we hear the most often when you hear pastors preach on weight loss, which you do. If you haven't actually heard one, it does absolutely happen surprisingly frequently.
• 11:29
  It's first Corinthians six nineteen through 20. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price, so you must honor God with your body. So that's the one that you'll hear the most often when people talk about the Bible talking about weight loss. Now I I just wanna point out that, you know, it doesn't say weight loss at all in there.
• 11:58
  It says honor God with your body. Honoring can mean different things to different people. It just means respect. Mhmm. So what you think is respectful to yourself and your body and to God is way different than what my grandma, who's 91, would think it's respectful and honoring Right.
• 12:20
  For her body. It's just such a strange thing that we've turned that into, like, a weight loss battle cry. Mhmm. And particularly for women because now we harp on this a lot. Right?
• 12:35
  But there's such a desire to control women within the church. Right? And one way to control anyone is to control their body. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 12:48
  Now if you tell women you need to look a certain way because I want you to, well That doesn't affect as much weight. Yeah. Great. If you say, I want you to be a hundred and two pounds and blonde and have your makeup done at all times and whatever Mhmm. Because I want you to, she can just ignore that Mhmm.
• 13:14
  And do what she wants. And she should. Right. And maybe not. But, like, yeah, hopefully.
• 13:19
  Mhmm. But the moment that you say god wants you to weigh a hundred and two pounds, that starts to change things. We do that to women all the time in all sorts of Mhmm. Different situations. We've made many a podcast on it.
• 13:36
  But, yeah, you're right. Slap God's name on it and loosely tie a verse to it, which this is saying nothing about weight at all. Mhmm. Easy peasy. Mhmm.
• 13:48
  Another way to control someone. But the moment you look up versus on weight loss, this all pops up. This is not a hard research moment. Like, I didn't have to dig to find this. Okay?
• 13:59
  Mhmm. Lots of people are using these verses to say, you need to lose weight. Mhmm. You need to look a certain way. You need to fit the mold.
• 14:08
  Mhmm. If you're overweight or if you're a normal weight, if you just look like a normal human being, for heaven's sake. I would just love to just blanket statement. Mind your business. Right.
• 14:22
  Mind your business. Mind your body. Mind your business. Mhmm. That does not mean my my business.
• 14:28
  Mind your own business. Well, what does it change in our worlds when we love ourselves? Mhmm. The Bible talks about love your neighbor as yourself, and we've talked about that before. Mhmm.
• 14:42
  You cannot love your neighbor as yourself if you don't love yourself. Mhmm. You cannot love yourself if you are obsessively telling yourself, god wants me to weigh this much. Mhmm. You can't.
• 14:57
  Now if you wanna be healthy, you wanna whatever like, I don't care. Live your life. But if it's because god wants me to weigh this much Mhmm. You're doing something wrong. Mhmm.
• 15:09
  You've messed something up because god doesn't say that. Or maybe not specifically in your mind you're saying, god tells me to do this, but you look at the people in church and the subliminal messaging Mhmm. Of the church Mhmm. And that slowly sinks into your mind. Right.
• 15:27
  You know? The church women look like this. They talk like this. They act like this. And if I don't follow that norm, then I must not be Christian enough.
• 15:36
  And I feel like that's the constant battle of women in churches. I'm not Christian enough if I don't fit this mold. So maybe it's not you specifically saying, like, god wants me to be a hundred and two pounds and six feet tall. Wow. I think also churches would argue.
• 15:56
  They'd say, well, we just want people to be healthy. It's not it's not about weight loss. It's about health. And it's not that we're saying god says you have to. But the moment the moment that a church endorses something Mhmm.
• 16:09
  You almost have to put more weight behind what you do because The title of this podcast could be Put on this hold weight? It's like like an influential figure. Like, if a celebrity endorses something Mhmm. That holds more weight to their fans Their audience Yeah. Than if I endorse it.
• 16:38
  Mhmm. If a church endorses this weight loss group or this weight loss program or whatever and allows them to meet in their building and says from the stage, hey, women. We have this weight loss group that meets once a week, and you can fellowship, and you can whatever, and Mhmm. You can get healthy together. We'll provide the get skinny tea.
• 17:02
  The bathrooms are open. Then that holds more significance to people spiritually Yeah. Than if that same exact group met at the YMCA down the road Mhmm. Or at somebody's house or whatever. Like, it's a different level of significance.
• 17:21
  So churches need to think that through. Because it's a different you're right. If they're meeting at the YMCA down the street and they just all happen to be Christian Right. It doesn't make it a Christian group. Right.
• 17:31
  It makes it a weight loss group. Mhmm. But if you're meeting at the church Mhmm. It's a Christian weight loss group. Yes.
• 17:38
  And even if you're meeting at someone's house and you read a verse Yeah. It's still not the church telling you you need to lose weight. Mhmm. It's these other women that have decided that that's what they wanna do. And and that's fine.
• 17:50
  Again, live your life, but don't put god in it. Mhmm. And that's where we as Christians keep messing up. We keep making our own choices, putting our own stereotypes out into the world Mhmm. And then slapping god's name onto it Mhmm.
• 18:07
  Over and over and over. So a lot of the other verses that go through, like or that people will reference for weight loss, a lot of them come from first Corinthians, and I'll just read because they're in front of me, just little snippets from them. So first Corinthians ten thirteen says, like, no temptation has overtaken you. That is not common to man. God is faithful.
• 18:25
  He won't let you be tempted beyond what you can handle. That kind of thing. Whether you eat or drink, whatever you do, do all to glorify god, things like that. That so loosely, you can maybe sort of say, I guess, kind of, perhaps, on the right day, if the sun is in the right place and the wind is blowing from the east, sort of, we could thread this through to make it talk about weight loss. It's not black and white.
• 18:55
  It's you could apply that to many of them. Right. Exactly. And the writers, more than likely, based on this time period, would never ever ever have thought, weight loss. That's what I'm talking about.
• 19:11
  Because they were eating manna back then. Okay? I think manna was in the old testament. Manna is a all the time thing as far as I'm concerned. They're drinking wine because it's a good time, and they're eating unleavened bread.
• 19:28
  Okay? Okay. They're not too concerned about weight loss or, like, how many points is this? How how far do I have to walk to work off this unleavened bread? Okay.
• 19:42
  Random side note story. When I was in college, I'm I've told Bree this story a million times, but now you guys get to hear it. I was in, like, an intro to fitness class, basically. Hey. She opened my professor opened up a package of M and M's, and she hands out an M and M to every single person.
• 19:59
  Now mind you, again, I went to a Christian college, and she hands out an M and M to every single person. And we all eat our M and M's. Like communion together? Yeah. Weird.
• 20:09
  And then she says, now you would have to walk across the football field this many times to burn off that single M and M. And first of all, rude. Why did you let me eat the dang M and M? You couldn't have done this without that? Actually, I'd be like, actually, give me another.
• 20:27
  But second of all, like, it's just such a weird concept of just every single thing you eat, you have to think, and I would have to do this to burn it off. Like, it's just it's odd. It's toxic. Totally random little side note. But what I wanted to go into in a healthier way because I've been thinking a lot about not just this in concept of weight loss, but in who you get to be as a person.
• 20:52
  Or an alien. Sure. If you're an alien, then who you get to be as an alien also. Because, like, for example, two weeks ago was it been two two, three weeks ago? I dyed my hair green.
• 21:03
  I have yet to post a picture of myself, but I will attempt to do that in the near future. She looks good. I've been calling her broccoli, but my brother has come up with some really good ones. What has he called you? He called me Beetlejuice.
• 21:17
  He called me character from Doug. And then last time I saw him, he hugged me and then sang, oh, Christmas tree. And, frankly, I'm not even offended. Those are the most clever things I've ever heard. Very clever.
• 21:29
  And this coming from a boy who had yellow hair for a good chunk of time. It's quite true. Quite true. But it's just funny because my hang ups about about dyeing my hair green. And I'm a very, like, I do what I want kinda person.
• 21:44
  Okay? Mhmm. Very little phases me. I don't necessarily subscribe to all of the, like, alright. As a Christian, you have to do this and you have to do this.
• 21:54
  I don't know if y'all have noticed that yet. But for some reason and my hair has been every color of the rainbow. Okay? It's been pink. It's been blue.
• 22:01
  It's been red. It's been purple. It's been it hasn't been green until now, but it's been all the colors. But I had a little bit of a hesitation with it because it suddenly felt like well, as an adult Christian mother. What am I projecting out onto the world?
• 22:18
  Yeah. Like, when I walk into church, what are they going to say? They're gonna say, oh, Christmas tree. And it it did bother me for a minute. And I kind of thought about not doing it, and then after I did it, I was like, maybe I shouldn't have because of of their reactions and because of the reactions of people in my life.
• 22:41
  There's a good song to go with that, and it's Christian. And aunts and uncles out there, I know another Christian song. No turning back. No turning back. It's true.
• 22:52
  To to be fair, there is turning back. I could just diet brown. No. Always an option. No.
• 22:58
  Aunts and uncles out there, it's not an option. But it's just funny because I don't remember signing a contract when I became a Christian that said, and she will not dye her hair weird colors. I don't remember that being in the bible. And yet we've got this whole bubble around Christian women Mhmm. That says you should look this way.
• 23:20
  Well, it's like the did you see a couple years ago the, like, Christian girl fall aesthetic or something like that? Oh, yes. And it was, like, maxi skirts and denim jackets Yeah. And those hats. Yeah.
• 23:32
  And a Starbucks. The wide brim hats. Yeah. Hey. I love a Starbucks.
• 23:35
  Yeah. I mean, we're Christian. Well, good for us. But it's just one of those things that I have to and maybe you have to also kind of, like, open that that gate for myself. Mhmm.
• 23:51
  And as we all deconstruct together and pull apart our faith and ask what sticks and what doesn't stick, these silly little things, these silly little outer image things Mhmm. That god never said, that no one in the Bible ever said, ever meant. Mhmm. No one said I couldn't dye my hair. No.
• 24:11
  I don't know that they had the ability to do that that at that time. And it's funny to hear you talking about this because, like, no one has said, oh, you shouldn't have dyed your hair green to you. Right. But that's something internally that you have been telling yourself and that you're dealing with right now. All of these subliminal messages and all of these things from growing up in the conservative Christian world Mhmm.
• 24:34
  Are bubbling up to the surface now and making you feel shame. Right. And I think we all have those. Mhmm. We all have these silly little things that we may not realize are there until we step over the line.
• 24:48
  Mhmm. And the moment you step over the line, you'll feel it. And it might be something with your outer image. It might be something about who you are as a person, maybe about how you vote Mhmm. Maybe about an opinion you have on things in your community.
• 25:06
  I mean, we've always been the pushing boundaries once. Mhmm. Actually, I had I had therapy today. And I was talking to my therapist about that, about how you and I have always kind of been the ones that pushed the boundaries a little bit more in our family. Mhmm.
• 25:21
  And even with that, even considering that we were the ones that pushed the boundaries, and I expected to be the one that pushed the boundaries because I am a troublemaker, as are you. I know you call me a troublemaker, but frankly, it's certainly the both of us. Yes. Even though that's the case, there are still hang ups. There are still things that make me feel uncomfy.
• 25:47
  And I think I think people don't think that, like, our family in particular, would say, oh, no. Alyssa just does whatever she wants. Brianna just does whatever she wants. But there are still things that when I step over that line, I know. I know I've stepped over that line, and I have to, in my head, say, alright.
• 26:03
  What did god say? Did god say anything about this? No? Alright. Then we're good.
• 26:07
  Yep. Keep going. Keep going, Liz. I think it's good to spend that time by yourself, quiet, and just really think about, like, what did God actually tell me? Mhmm.
• 26:20
  And does this choice that I've made make me feel okay and good, or do I feel not so good about it? And maybe I should adjust. Mhmm. Pivot as you will. But, yeah, there is nothing biblically wrong with dyeing your hair green.
• 26:34
  I wanted to talk about also what that verse in first Corinthians means. Mhmm. Do you still have it up? I sure can. What was it?
• 26:44
  It was first Corinthian Six nineteen twenty? Yes. Wonderful. Would you like me to read it again? I did really good the first time.
• 26:52
  You did not, in fact. So that verse, first Corinthians six nineteen through 20, I'm gonna read it because I read it really good the first time. She didn't, though. I'm gonna tell you right now, guys, because I'm gonna go back and edit so that it sounds like she did a good job. She didn't.
• 27:09
  I still I fixed it. I don't like reading aloud. It's always given me anxiety. Always always in my life forever. Even though now she's literate and she's a reader.
• 27:18
  Yes. I read seven books last month. So proud. That's more than probably my whole life combined Very proud. In one month.
• 27:27
  But I'm gonna read it again just so that we can talk over it again so you don't have to, like, rewind and figure out what we were saying and then come back, because that's just that's messy, and no one wants to do that. Mhmm. So it says, don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, For god bought you with a high price, so you must honor god with your body. Girl, you're expensive.
• 27:51
  Treat yourself like you are. Heck, yeah. I am. So what does it mean then if it's not talking about weight loss, if it's not talking about the food that you eat every day? Mhmm.
• 28:01
  As we are so often told. I mean, honor yourself with a vegetable every now and then. I don't think but that's the thing is I don't think that god here is talking about any of the food that you're eating. Mhmm. Now I know that's what we get told all the time, and so maybe this is a hot take.
• 28:17
  But, like, I don't think that that's what we're talking about here. Because what we're being compared to is not treat yourself like the kitchen. Could be. Paul could have said that. Women are constantly being compared to things.
• 28:32
  We are. Cars, anything you could think of. But that's not what Paul is saying here. He didn't say treat yourself like the kitchen or the garbage disposal, which suppose they didn't have the time, but Mhmm. Or any of those things.
• 28:43
  So if it doesn't mean that, if it doesn't mean what you put in your body, what does it mean? So I have a thought. Now this is, again, the Bible according to Alyssa. You don't have to agree with me. That's okay.
• 28:58
  I am not a biblical scholar, but I have thoughts. And, clearly, you love them because you're listening to this podcast. Yeah. So I think because we're being compared to the temple here Mhmm. I think that's the key.
• 29:15
  We're not being compared to the kitchen, the household, any other space. We're being compared to the temple. So what happens in the temple? What do people come to do in the temple? They come to seek god.
• 29:29
  Right? Mhmm. At this time actually, this is in first Corinthians. So they can they do have the holy spirit. But prior to this, they wouldn't have necessarily had access to god except for in the temple.
• 29:40
  And even now, when they do have the Holy Spirit, that's new for them. Mhmm. So the temple is where they're feeling closest to God. It's where they seek him out. When they need God, that's where they're going.
• 29:54
  Mhmm. Like, sit there and think about that for a second. Mhmm. You should be the kind of person that people look to to seek God. Mhmm.
• 30:05
  This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. When you are thinking about my body is a temple, what does the temple look like? Mhmm. It's not about there's no specifications in the Bible that says, like, and we put this particular area rug right here, and this painting went on this wall. Like, that's not here.
• 30:28
  There are some specifications, but not like that. It's about what people are there to do, what draws them to it. I think there's a verse too. Like, you will know them by their love. Right.
• 30:41
  So what are you really projecting out on the world? It doesn't matter what your hair color is. It doesn't matter if you have tattoos or what you're wearing. People are gonna know you by your love. Mhmm.
• 30:51
  And, unfortunately, the church does not have a reputation of love right now. So how do you be that person then? How in spite of the reputation that we as Christians have in the world right now today, How do you be the person that people know when they need god, they can come to you? Mhmm. And I think, again, I feel like I'm a broken record.
• 31:22
  We have this one very wrong because as Christians, we're like, well, we've gotta go evangelize. We've gotta, you know, sit down with our Bible. Let me highlight some things for you and blah blah blah blah. Which there's nothing wrong with that. No.
• 31:36
  You can do that. But I don't think that's, again, what it's saying here. Mhmm. Because that's not necessarily going to draw people to you. I think you just need to be the person that people know.
• 31:53
  She's so kind. Mhmm. She's so there for me. Mhmm. If I need anything, I can go to her.
• 32:05
  We've said this before, like, build each other up with outrageous confidence. Be the person who isn't tearing people down all the time, who speaks truth Mhmm. With kindness, And, yeah, people people will gravitate towards you if you just are kind and a little bit not judgmental. But I always wanna be on people's side. You know?
• 32:30
  I wanna help them out. I wanna build them up depending on the person. Well, remember that I think as Christians, we focus so much on the evangelizing side of things, like, well, you gotta share Jesus. You gotta share Jesus. You gotta share Jesus.
• 32:44
  That we forget that people aren't gonna come to us when they need Jesus if they can't come to us with other things. Mhmm. Because when they need Jesus is usually their most desperate moments. Yeah. It's when their marriage is falling apart.
• 32:57
  Mhmm. It's when their kid leaves for college and they don't know how to function. Mhmm. It's when their job laid them off. It's when it's those desperate moments.
• 33:06
  Mhmm. That's when they need Jesus. And if they wouldn't turn to you otherwise, if they wouldn't turn to you in their good moments, if they wouldn't share with you those happy things or even those mundane things Mhmm. They aren't gonna come to you when they're desperate. Mhmm.
• 33:23
  And you can't be that for everyone. I'm not saying you need to be that for every single person in your whole world. But for the people that god lays in your life, and you'll know who they are. Like, you know, god puts people in your path. You know who those people are.
• 33:35
  I don't have to explain them to you. And you don't have to be an extrovert. No. Heaven knows those people in your life. Heaven knows, guys.
• 33:43
  Yeah. But those people will come to you because they know who you are as a person. Mhmm. You don't have to throw Jesus in their faces. Mhmm.
• 33:53
  That's not your job. Jesus will make a way if he wants to make a way. That's not what the temple was there for. Mhmm. The temple didn't run out with, what were those called, tracts?
• 34:08
  The temple was stationary. The temple was stationary. The temple didn't run out with tracts and, like, fling them at people. Yeah. Nobody was standing on the street corner saying you're all going to hell.
• 34:17
  That's not what's going on. Instead, it was there as a symbol to all the people in the community. When you need Jesus, when you need god, come here. Mhmm. And I will be here.
• 34:35
  I will be here to love you. I will be here to guide you. I will be here to help you. Mhmm. And we can have a relationship.
• 34:43
  We can love one another. Like, I realize that I'm putting a lot of projections on a building here, but you get the point. That's what the temple was there for, and that's what you are there for. Mhmm. So instead of this being think about the difference in the way to interpret those that verse.
• 35:02
  Mhmm. How simplistic did we make God's word? Mhmm. Weight loss or change people's lives. Yeah.
• 35:12
  You have two options. Now if weight loss is your thing, like, go for it, but don't use this verse as your example. Mhmm. Because that's not what it's saying. We've oversimplified it because it is a beautiful representation of how we can show Jesus.
• 35:29
  The temple was there for a reason. We are here for a reason, and that reason isn't to be stick thin models that walk around shaming a bunch of people. That's just not it. The thing is, god didn't make two people alike unless you're identical twins. You know?
• 35:49
  Everybody is different. If everybody was the same, you really wouldn't have much to do. So there is a place for everybody. There's a place for green hair. There's a place for blonde hair.
• 36:01
  If you are into being basic, girl, be basic. But be who you wanna be. Mhmm. Don't let the church or anybody else tell you who you get to be. Let God tell you who you get to be.
• 36:13
  Get to the point in your life, and I think Alyssa and I are both getting to that point, and and I'm really excited and happy about that, where we're able to look in the mirror and say, yeah, girl. Get it. I like what I see. And, you know, it's not gonna be every day. Mhmm.
• 36:28
  And it's a battle that we as women just get to struggle with all the time. But get be able to get to a point in your life where you like who you are. Mhmm. Remember that who you're meant to minister to is different Mhmm. Than who your friend is meant to minister to.
• 36:47
  It is different than who your mom is meant to minister to. Your cousin, your sister, your whatever. Your crazy ex lover. Oh, that may be uncomfy too. Toby Keith.
• 37:01
  I think he's dead. Yeah. He died. And that's something else that I've been, like, really diving into with myself Mhmm. And makes me very comfortable with some of the decisions that I'm making.
• 37:15
  Because who I'm meant to connect with, all of this puts them in my path. Mhmm. Whether it's the silly things like dyeing my hair green and getting a new piercing. Yeah. Maybe that's putting someone in my path because they see me now as someone that's accessible.
• 37:30
  Mhmm. Maybe that's it. Or having a wildly feminist podcast. Maybe that makes me more accessible to someone. Mhmm.
• 37:39
  Or reading the books that I read or whatever it is. Everything has a purpose. Maybe we're starting to read these books because now you can relate to other people who because reading is popular now. We're popular. Everybody's reading.
• 37:57
  So it's just opportunities to open up conversations with people. So remember that, like, the decisions that you make, as long as they are again, these decisions that are not prohibited by the Bible in any way Mhmm. I'm not saying go out and break all the 10 commitments over here. I'm saying as long as you're doing things that are not in any way detrimental Are you live, laugh, loving? You're just making normal life choices.
• 38:23
  Mhmm. They're okay. It's okay. God isn't gonna smite you because you dye your hair a weird color or because you're a hundred and ten pounds instead of a hundred and two pounds or a hundred and fifty pounds or whatever. Like, it's okay.
• 38:39
  And I think we've had an episode on this before, but, like, what really is sin? Mhmm. Do some digging. Mhmm. Figure out what is truly sin, and figure out what we've drawn big circles around.
• 38:54
  In our conservative Christian world, they say don't even get close to sin. Mhmm. But, like, what is a real sin? Right. Dying your hair is not a sin.
• 39:03
  Right. Especially when people are like, well, it's okay if it's a natural color. This isn't my natural color. Just because it's someone's doesn't mean it's mine. Right.
• 39:15
  And I think we live so much of our lives as women, as Christians, as human beings in guilt. Mhmm. I mean, for goodness sakes, Brene Brown has made a whole career out of talking about guilt. Guilt and shame, baby. If we could just let the littlest bit of it go Mhmm.
• 39:34
  And if we could, at the very least, take faith out of it Mhmm. Because God does not want us to live in guilt and shame. Mhmm. Even when it does come to real sin. I think there is such a wonderful sense of freedom when you start doing things because you wanna do them and not because I'm afraid what this person will think of me, or I'm afraid what this person will say.
• 40:00
  It's like you know that feeling when you're at a job and you feel like you have to look for another job? Mhmm. Yes. And there's just so much stress, like, I have to find this other job. I have to find another job.
• 40:11
  And you stop looking eventually, and you're like, oh, it's that. That's it. Yeah. Anybody can relate to that, but just that overwhelming feeling of peace. Mhmm.
• 40:24
  Yeah. Or you get the job and you're settled into it. Yes. Yeah. Like that calm, that quiet.
• 40:32
  Yeah. I just I wish we could get there. And I realized that that's maybe too big of an ask for the whole of society to get rid of guilt and shame. Yeah. But god sent his son to Earth to die for us, to die for our sins, and to take away the guilt and shame that come with it.
• 40:54
  Now as little Baptist children, we were not taught that. No. We only lived for guilt and shame. But the simple reality is that everywhere in the Bible, Jesus is taking away guilt and shame and telling people, don't live in this anymore. Mhmm.
• 41:11
  Because you cannot live into the fullness of what god wants for you if you're living ashamed that you feel like you're overweight. Mhmm. Or ashamed that your body doesn't look the way you think it's supposed to. Mhmm. Or that you're not an extrovert.
• 41:29
  Or that you're not whatever. You can't. There's no way. If you're constantly telling yourself, I suck. I suck.
• 41:34
  I suck. I suck. You'll never get there. Mhmm. You'll never get to where god wants you to be.
• 41:40
  The moment that you take all of that off, you deconstruct it. I realize that, like, the Christian world has made the term deconstruction into, like, a dirty word. Mhmm. But I love it. I love this concept of taking all of the garbage and throwing it out.
• 41:56
  Mhmm. Because God will hold up. Right. And then in my experience, God will hold up. Yeah.
• 42:01
  If he can hold up to Lamentations, if he can hold up to my just self doubt. Yeah. Yeah. God will still be there. Mhmm.
• 42:11
  How cool. Mhmm. And I know that there are people that go through deconstruction and decide that they don't have faith anymore. Mhmm. But for me and obviously for you Mhmm.
• 42:25
  I have walked through this and found Jesus in such a so much deeper of a way Mhmm. Than I ever knew him before. Well, I was talking to my grandma a couple weeks ago. And now I may have already said this on the podcast. I don't know.
• 42:43
  But I haven't been in church regularly in a while, and she was asking me why and if I was mad at God. And for the first time in, I think, my life, I was able to say, I am not mad at God in the least. Mhmm. I think I feel closer to God than I ever have. It's, unfortunately, the people who I'm frustrated with.
• 43:05
  What I would love to do, and I hope in a way we can do through the podcast and in a way that I find through, you know, like, communities, like, as we are doing this launch group for Beth's book and in communities that I found online and things, it's to find the really authentic Christians, the really authentic people. Mhmm. Because I just I've found that I don't have a lot of time in my life for people who can't be authentically themselves. Mhmm. Live into truly who you are.
• 43:39
  Whatever that means for you, pray through it, whatever, but live into who you are because what's the point of anything else? Yeah. If you're a jerk, be a jerk loudly. If I wanna have green hair, I'm gonna have green hair because it speaks to me. Mhmm.
• 44:00
  And if that's a problem for someone else, then they don't need to be in my world. And if I want to wear combat boots all the time, because heaven knows I do Mhmm. And that's a problem for someone else, and they don't have to be in my world. You know? Like, I'm trying to find the authentic people because I think that's where I seem to find the most authentic faith.
• 44:25
  Mhmm. And I do struggle to find that in churches. I don't know if you guys out there are feeling the same thing. I struggle to find that in churches. I struggle to find it with mainstream Christianity.
• 44:37
  I hope that as our generation moves forward, that we'll see more of it. Mhmm. We just have to wait and see, I suppose. Time will tell. So next week, we are gonna talk about a book.
• 44:53
  I've I went on a little we've we've been on quite a book buying bend or bender? Bender. I've been bending. You know what? Take that up.
• 45:05
  Nah. Some of it's been just fun books because we have a serious problem. Listen. I had three come yesterday and one come today. You did.
• 45:17
  You did do that. But some of them have also been research books, and I found a couple. I actually felt a little bit guilty because I ordered one from Baker Book House, which is a Christian publisher, and they do a lot of they actually that's where I bought Beth's book, and it's where I buy a lot of my books. But they add they put an ad out for one book, and I was like, oh, that looks great. That'd be great for the podcast.
• 45:43
  And then I ordered it and then saw another one and immediately ordered the next one. So sorry, Baker, that you had to ship the two things to me. But I think they'll survive. But the one that I wanna talk about next week and this is gonna be a little bit more potentially potentially more controversial even than we normally are. So, prepare yourselves.
• 46:07
  It's called Your Jesus is Too American. I feel some loss of viewership coming on. It is a book by Steve Besner, and the forward is by Beth Moore. So I am Beth Moore. We haven't actually talked about Beth Moore a lot.
• 46:27
  I would love to do a whole episode on her and how she kind of got canceled. Her fall from grace? Yes. I find her fascinating. But the subtitle is Calling the Church to Reclaim Kingdom Values over the American Dream.
• 46:41
  I love that. I think it's Just give me the title, dear one. My gosh. I think it is so relevant right now. It's actually written by a Baptist pastor.
• 46:52
  So I have not read it yet. I'm fascinated to dive into it and talk about it. Mhmm. Could be great. Could be terrible.
• 46:59
  No way to know. We'll tell you the truth either way. It just came out in October of last year. So it's a newer book. If you want to buy it and read along with us, please feel free, but that's what we'll be talking about next week.
• 47:12
  So get excited for some controversy. Prepare yourselves. We could have a book club. I think we may already. Don't read anything I've been reading lately.
• 47:21
  It's a mess. Bree has been a train wreck sort of reading binge. Yeah. I read one where a guy turns into a shark. You've already talked about the shark.
• 47:31
  And now I'm reading notes on an execution about a serial killer. Yeah. So I don't think she she should recommend that one. No. But Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater.
• 47:42
  Oh my gosh. That was a lovely book. I just need to tell everybody that I absolutely can. Go read that book. It's just a treasure.
• 47:50
  It's, like, not too heavy. It's just a breath of fresh air. It was really nice. I love it. I read it also.
• 47:57
  It was great. I feel that I shouldn't recommend any of the books that I'm reading. Nope. No. No.
• 48:03
  This is not the avenue for that. Well, I'm glad that we ended on a book top note. Alright. So prep yourselves for that next week, and we will talk to you then. Bye.
• 48:15
  Yeah. Bye bye.