Latest / In His Circle / Have We Confused What We Do With Who We Are? What Sarah's Story Teaches Us About Identity, Purpose, and Grace | Ep 36
Transcript
- 0:00Tiffany Windsor: Welcome to In His Circle, where women gather to share life stories, discover authentic community, and grow in faith.
- 0:08Tiffany Windsor: I'm your host, Tiffany Winds.
- 0:10Tiffany Windsor: My guest today is my dear friend Heather Brigstock, owner of Southwater Manor in Gallatin, Tennessee.
- 0:17Tiffany Windsor: In Heather's own words, her goal at Southwater Manor is to create a place where community happens, where folks feel valued, hope is shared, and relationships can flourish.
- 0:28Tiffany Windsor: We're recording today in the upstairs lounge at the Manor.
- 0:32Tiffany Windsor: Hi Heather, how are you?
- 0:34Tiffany Windsor: I am great and I'm thankful to be here today with you.
- 0:38Tiffany Windsor: I want to start today's conversation going back to last Tuesday when I was joining your Bible study, which by the way, I am so grateful that you have started this back up.
- 0:48Tiffany Windsor: My first question will be: what guided you to start this study back up?
- 0:52Tiffany Windsor: Because one of my first experiences here at Southwater Manor and getting to know you, Heather, was to experience season one of your Bible study, if I can call it season one, and how much it changed my life and how much it really poured me into studying the Bible that I didn't have before.
- 1:11Tiffany Windsor: And it stuck with me.
- 1:12Tiffany Windsor: I'm not always so good about sticking with things.
- 1:15Tiffany Windsor: I tend to jump around a bit, and whatever you did and the way that you taught me, I have stuck with it.
- 1:21Tiffany Windsor: And so here we are in season two of your Bible study.
- 1:25Tiffany Windsor: I missed the first week, but this week I was able to attend.
- 1:29Tiffany Windsor: So I'm going to ask you if you can kind of do a condensed version of last week's study right now.
- 1:36Tiffany Windsor: I want everyone to hear because I was so touched how this story reached all of the women at the table.
- 1:42Tiffany Windsor: And I know that we can pull out of any sort of Bible scripture something that touches us, but this one in particular really struck me as I listened to everyone talk around the table.
- 1:54Tiffany Windsor: So let's just go ahead and jump in.
- 1:56Heather Brigstock: Good.
- 1:57Heather Brigstock: All right.
- 1:57Heather Brigstock: It was actually you, Tiffany, that prompted me to start the Bible study again.
- 2:02Heather Brigstock: When we did the Bible study last time, I was compelled in my spirit to do it.
- 2:06Heather Brigstock: It wasn't really because we had all the time in the world or anything, but I knew that the Lord wanted me to do it.
- 2:13Heather Brigstock: And it was so sweet.
- 2:14Heather Brigstock: It was the winter months.
- 2:15Heather Brigstock: I feel like we had a lot of really great fellowship, good friends, and great season.
- 2:20Heather Brigstock: And we went through the Bible.
- 2:21Heather Brigstock: We went through, I think just Genesis, Exodus, I think maybe through Deuteronomy up to Joshua.
- 2:26Heather Brigstock: And then we kind of broke for the holidays and I never really got the rhythm back again.
- 2:31Heather Brigstock: But when you had you had said something a few weeks ago about how the Bible study impacted you, and then I had probably three other uh women come up and say something similar.
- 2:39Heather Brigstock: And just between you and me and these microphones, I always feel very unqualified to lead a Bible study like that.
- 2:47Heather Brigstock: And so, because of my great skills or my oratory or anything like that, but I do know that the Holy Spirit lives inside of me.
- 2:53Heather Brigstock: And so if I can pray and ask myself to die and for the Holy Spirit to live inside of me, kind of like what I want to do on this podcast, just ask that the Holy Spirit of God would speak through me and give me wisdom and direction, then God's word is blessed.
- 3:09Heather Brigstock: The Lord promises that his word won't return void, and it's a blessing.
- 3:12Heather Brigstock: We are community driven, and there's a world of people out there that are looking for community, and if they may bump into our Bible study, we just had a lady come in and she was in a couple of days ago.
- 3:22Heather Brigstock: I had the chance to pray with her because she's walking through some illnesses.
- 3:25Heather Brigstock: I hadn't met her before, but we got a chance to pray.
- 3:27Heather Brigstock: She was sharing about some illnesses, and then she showed up back today and she met with her doctor.
- 3:31Heather Brigstock: Her tumors were benign, so excited, just praising the Lord.
- 3:34Heather Brigstock: It's not because I prayed for it, it's because God's good, but it was a blessing.
- 3:37Heather Brigstock: So if we can continue that, we invited her to the Bible study and continue to walk through that.
- 3:41Heather Brigstock: That's a good thing.
- 3:42Heather Brigstock: And this season, season two, we are walking through the women of the Bible and what we can learn from them.
- 3:47Heather Brigstock: So the women in the Bible are full of cracks and breaks, just like us, just like me.
- 3:53Heather Brigstock: And being able to read their story and realize that in spite of that, or because of that even, God chose to use them because he gets more glory when he can take a broken vessel and rebuild it and shine through it.
- 4:07Heather Brigstock: It's that violinist that plays the broken violin and does it amazingly that gets the most applause, right?
- 4:13Heather Brigstock: And that's what the Lord does with us.
- 4:14Heather Brigstock: He takes broken vessels and he plays our music.
- 4:18Heather Brigstock: He allows us to be part of his plan.
- 4:20Heather Brigstock: So anyway, working through the women of the Bible has been a blessing.
- 4:23Heather Brigstock: We did Eve the first week, not my best moment, kind of nervous to be honest with you.
- 4:26Heather Brigstock: And so I was really praying for the second week.
- 4:28Heather Brigstock: We were moving on to Sarai or Sarah in the book of Genesis, and it was a blessing.
- 4:34Heather Brigstock: The ladies that met with us there, they were fantastic, and I do feel like the Lord was with us.
- 4:38Heather Brigstock: It was smoother.
- 4:39Heather Brigstock: And learning about Sarai, like you said, she lived what 110 years, maybe 130, I can't remember.
- 4:46Heather Brigstock: And you hear about her, all these different stages of her life.
- 4:49Heather Brigstock: And like what you had just said, I think all women can resonate with her at some point in some phase of her life.
- 4:56Heather Brigstock: And so we really enjoyed that.
- 4:58Heather Brigstock: We started in Genesis 11 learning about Sarai's name.
- 5:01Heather Brigstock: And we we just talked about this a second ago, but Sarai means princess.
- 5:04Heather Brigstock: And I thought it was really interesting because the history of the name Sarai met princess really just associated with one.
- 5:13Heather Brigstock: So, like someone's princess, and the background of her name was actually a Hittite.
- 5:19Heather Brigstock: So we don't know for sure that Sarai was of Hittite descent, but it is interesting to think about that because the Hittites were fierce, they were a powerful community, they were one of the first known to use iron in the ancient world.
- 5:33Heather Brigstock: And what we do know about the Hittites is that they were warriors, and so for this Sarai to be possibly a Hittite princess was pretty important.
- 5:42Heather Brigstock: And she married Abram.
- 5:44Heather Brigstock: It says, though, at the very beginning of her life that she was barren, and we talked about her identity.
- 5:51Heather Brigstock: So in that world, and this is such a big deal for all of us, but we did spend some time talking about identity because in that world, your identity was made basically as a woman, consisted in your ability to produce not even a child but a son to carry on the family name.
- 6:06Heather Brigstock: And so for a woman to be identified as barren was embarrassing.
- 6:10Heather Brigstock: It decreased her value, and it was a blight on her name, on her husband's name.
- 6:16Heather Brigstock: And we talked about how a lot of times our identity is still tied with our productivity.
- 6:23Heather Brigstock: And when you shake someone's hand or you introduce yourself, they'll say, Oh, what's your name?
- 6:28Heather Brigstock: Oh, I'm Heather Brigstock.
- 6:29Heather Brigstock: What do you do?
- 6:30Heather Brigstock: Well, I own Southwater Manor.
- 6:31Heather Brigstock: I don't tell them anything else.
- 6:33Heather Brigstock: That's what I do.
- 6:35Heather Brigstock: And so, based on how, I don't know, how successful or unsuccessful we are, that could be a good thing or a bad thing.
- 6:42Heather Brigstock: I mean, nobody wants to reach out their hand and tell them that their owner of the business that got shut down or were foreclosed on, or they're, you know, that they're on welfare or their family just fell apart.
- 6:51Heather Brigstock: Nobody leads with that.
- 6:52Heather Brigstock: And it's because our society still gauges success on productivity and our value on what we can produce.
- 6:59Heather Brigstock: And I'm so thankful to be known by a God who doesn't measure our success that way.
- 7:04Heather Brigstock: My value and your value is not based on what we can produce and not what we bring to the table.
- 7:10Heather Brigstock: It's what Jesus brought to the table when he died on the cross, bought us, redeemed us.
- 7:14Heather Brigstock: The blood that covers us because we're born-again Christians is what gives us value.
- 7:18Heather Brigstock: And um, we spent a couple minutes talking about this in Genesis 1 and day four.
- 7:23Heather Brigstock: God created the sun, moon, and the stars.
- 7:26Heather Brigstock: And the Bible says that he put them in the sky to act as lights and to give us, to record day and night, but also the seasons.
- 7:35Heather Brigstock: And that word seasons, and I don't know the word, and I couldn't say it if I even if I did, it's in Hebrew, but the word seasons is a really powerful word.
- 7:43Heather Brigstock: It reminds us about productivity.
- 7:46Heather Brigstock: So when we think about the seasons, we know in the summer we work, in the winter we rest, in the fall we harvest, in the spring we plant.
- 7:51Heather Brigstock: When Moses was receiving the law from the Lord, when he was getting the story of creation, the Ten Commandments, when he was hearing from the Lord, writing it all down, because that's where we get the Genesis story.
- 8:04Heather Brigstock: God was relaying to Moses, and Moses was relaying to a group of people in the wilderness that had just come out of bondage.
- 8:12Heather Brigstock: And the children of Israel, their entire life, for the two to four hundred years that they'd been in bondage, was wrapped up in slavery.
- 8:20Heather Brigstock: Talk about a people whose worth and identity was built around what they could produce, how many bricks they could make, how many towers they could build, how much straw they could find.
- 8:30Heather Brigstock: Their value was intrinsically tied to what they could produce.
- 8:34Heather Brigstock: And here is God giving Moses this word that tells them that their value is not tied to what they produce.
- 8:42Heather Brigstock: That God didn't choose the people of Israel because they were large in number, because they were strong, smart, attractive, talented, hardworking, anything like that.
- 8:52Heather Brigstock: That God chose them because he loved them.
- 8:55Heather Brigstock: And he did the same thing for us.
- 8:57Heather Brigstock: He didn't choose us because we were special, because we brought anything to the table.
- 9:02Heather Brigstock: The Bible says that God, before we were formed in the womb, that God knew us, that he chose us to be conformed to the image of his son.
- 9:10Heather Brigstock: And those he chose, he predestined, those he predestined, he foreknew.
- 9:14Heather Brigstock: And it's just this beautiful story that our value doesn't come from what we have.
- 9:19Heather Brigstock: And so it was with Sarai.
- 9:21Heather Brigstock: So I guess that's kind of a long story, but maybe somebody needs to hear that too.
- 9:25Heather Brigstock: Somebody might need to hear that your identity isn't based on what you've done or what you haven't done.
- 9:32Heather Brigstock: But there is a God who loves you and sees you and knows your value and formed you and has given you purpose and given you a calling.
- 9:41Heather Brigstock: And obviously, we want to work hard and we want to be diligent, not to prove our worth just because of our worth, maybe.
- 9:49Heather Brigstock: So kind of on the other side of who we are.
- 9:51Heather Brigstock: And I think that's important for people to remember.
- 9:54Tiffany Windsor: Oh, Heather, this is so good.
- 9:56Tiffany Windsor: After that Bible study, I really reflected on looking back on my life.
- 10:00Tiffany Windsor: I was married for about five years when I was very young.
- 10:04Tiffany Windsor: And during that time, God did not bless me with children.
- 10:07Tiffany Windsor: I never remarried, so I have no children.
- 10:10Tiffany Windsor: And so when you started talking about how we can be gauged by our productivity, since I wasn't raising a family, I now look back and realized that I went into the corporate world and slipped into the belief of that productivity as my worth.
- 10:25Tiffany Windsor: I was not a believer at the time.
- 10:28Tiffany Windsor: And so now in my retirement, well, actually semi-retirement, because I don't know that I'll ever really retire.
- 10:35Tiffany Windsor: But it's so clear for me to go back now and reflect on the choices that I made because of the pressures of society around me, just like you said, being judged by what you do.
- 10:48Heather Brigstock: And the more that we talk about and you flush it out, it's like massaging this concept because we are called to be industrious.
- 10:54Heather Brigstock: In the first Bible study, we talked about Eve and how God made a garden for Adam and Eve and put them in there to tend it.
- 11:01Heather Brigstock: So Adam was a gardener.
- 11:03Heather Brigstock: Eve was a gardener.
- 11:04Heather Brigstock: And it is our title, our identity, but not our worth.
- 11:08Heather Brigstock: And that's that's the challenge.
- 11:10Heather Brigstock: So Adam was never gauged on how many apples he could produce or anything.
- 11:15Heather Brigstock: And maybe that's the story of Cain and Abel, too, because their productivity.
- 11:18Heather Brigstock: I don't know.
- 11:19Heather Brigstock: You know, here's one bringing the lamb and slaughtering it, the other bringing the best of his fruits and vegetables, his productivity.
- 11:25Heather Brigstock: He's offering what he could produce, like showing himself and trying to earn it himself.
- 11:30Heather Brigstock: That's what Cain brought.
- 11:31Heather Brigstock: And Abel, when he brought his sacrifice, he brought a lamb and killed it.
- 11:35Heather Brigstock: So it's almost like um not self-defamation, but just the opposite.
- 11:39Heather Brigstock: He didn't have anything to bring, so he was relying on this and following God's command.
- 11:44Heather Brigstock: I don't know, it's interesting to think about because we don't want to gauge our worth on what we can produce.
- 11:50Heather Brigstock: However, we are called to be productive.
- 11:52Heather Brigstock: So it is.
- 11:53Heather Brigstock: So what do we do with that?
- 11:55Heather Brigstock: I know, I know.
- 11:56Heather Brigstock: It is so hard.
- 11:57Heather Brigstock: I think we make sure that we are constantly walking in a mindset where we're giving the glory to the Lord and asking him to empower us to go.
- 12:04Heather Brigstock: You know, I fall into this trap all the time in the morning when I am on my knees before the Lord.
- 12:09Heather Brigstock: I am asking God for customers in our building.
- 12:11Heather Brigstock: And on a day when we've had a lot of sales, I feel more valuable.
- 12:15Heather Brigstock: I feel like I've had a good day.
- 12:16Heather Brigstock: Did I go out there and bring those people in there?
- 12:18Heather Brigstock: Not at all.
- 12:18Heather Brigstock: Was it my marketing skills or my charisma that brought them in?
- 12:21Heather Brigstock: No.
- 12:22Heather Brigstock: No, a lot of times I'm turning people away.
- 12:23Heather Brigstock: I scare them a little bit.
- 12:24Heather Brigstock: And so it's just the Lord.
- 12:26Heather Brigstock: And so we just have to be so careful, constantly reminding.
- 12:30Heather Brigstock: And I think that's where the Lord wants us to stay.
- 12:32Heather Brigstock: We don't ever achieve.
- 12:34Heather Brigstock: Every day is a new day.
- 12:36Heather Brigstock: Paul said, I die daily, and not like death, but our flesh, we have to constantly and continually mortify the deeds of our flesh so that we are allowing the Holy Spirit, the Lord that lives inside of us to fill us.
- 12:49Heather Brigstock: I heard a pastor talk one time and he said, I want to be so full of Jesus that if somebody jostles me, Jesus spills out.
- 12:55Heather Brigstock: This idea that we're so full of Jesus that if somebody smells us, they smell Jesus.
- 13:00Heather Brigstock: And I think that's that idea.
- 13:02Heather Brigstock: We're walking around with this mindset that we're called to be productive, called to be industrious, but the things that we produce aren't tied to our value.
- 13:11Heather Brigstock: Our value comes from who did it.
- 13:13Heather Brigstock: That's the Lord.
- 13:14Tiffany Windsor: I wrote down some notes while you were talking.
- 13:16Tiffany Windsor: And it's so interesting to me when you say this about yourself because you said you were a little nervous the first week in the Bible study and that you felt unqualified.
- 13:26Tiffany Windsor: It's always so interesting to me when I hear you speak that about yourself.
- 13:30Tiffany Windsor: And so I think today I just want to be witness to say you are qualified.
- 13:36Tiffany Windsor: When I watch the woman around the table, and some that I've known for many, many years, and some that are new friends, and I see how they light up, how they relate to how you tell the story.
- 13:49Tiffany Windsor: I don't think you understand what a beautiful storyteller you are and what a gift that is.
- 13:55Tiffany Windsor: And so I want to find another word for you because we're never going to use unqualified again.
- 14:02Heather Brigstock: I appreciate those words.
- 14:04Heather Brigstock: The Lord is so kind when you dream about the future and you see things that I don't know if I just don't dream big or I don't dream at all, or we just take the next day.
- 14:14Heather Brigstock: I don't know.
- 14:15Heather Brigstock: I know that the Lord is the strength of my life and He's allowed us to have really fantastic opportunities.
- 14:20Heather Brigstock: I never want to take it for granted.
- 14:22Heather Brigstock: God is very real to me.
- 14:24Heather Brigstock: He is as real to me as you are.
- 14:26Heather Brigstock: And I have a deep longing to share that with people.
- 14:32Heather Brigstock: I want them to know that the God in whose hand their breath is is as real to me as you, Tiffany, sitting right there.
- 14:39Heather Brigstock: So in that sense, I feel a calling to be able to articulate that to women and to others, to anybody that will sit there long enough and let me tell them about it.
- 14:46Heather Brigstock: It's definitely not because I'm eloquent or have all the words, but the Lord is good.
- 14:52Heather Brigstock: He's faithful and he takes broken vessels and again and uses them.
- 14:56Heather Brigstock: And I think that is that's the beauty of Sarah.
- 14:58Heather Brigstock: I love the beauty of Sarah because you hear at the end of the story, she's 90 years old, 100 years old, giving birth to Isaac, and just how she rejoices that at the end of her life that God has been able to do this miracle and she gives all the glory to him.
- 15:16Heather Brigstock: She's walked this long, long road with Abram and experienced the super highs and the super lows, and now God has given her this joy.
- 15:25Heather Brigstock: Not because she was perfect, because she made some terrible mistakes and had some really terrible things happen to her along the way.
- 15:31Heather Brigstock: God took all of that and just worked it out together for her good, for his glory.
- 15:36Heather Brigstock: And when we take those stories and we apply them to ourselves, like you said, everybody around the table.
- 15:39Heather Brigstock: So I'm praising the Lord for that.
- 15:41Heather Brigstock: And I appreciate your words.
- 15:42Heather Brigstock: You promote me and help me to be better, and I'm thankful for you.
- 15:46Tiffany Windsor: I see how you live your life, and I see how honest you are.
- 15:50Tiffany Windsor: And a lot of people don't have that quality.
- 15:53Tiffany Windsor: They may speak the words, but you live it.
- 15:56Tiffany Windsor: And that's what makes you capable to be able to speak the word of God.
- 16:01Heather Brigstock: I'm not a very good actor.
- 16:02Heather Brigstock: So what you see is what you get.
- 16:05Heather Brigstock: I learned a long time ago.
- 16:07Heather Brigstock: I think a lot of that comes from having children.
- 16:10Heather Brigstock: I was really nervous when we first started the ministry because I saw so many pastors' kids, missionary kids.
- 16:16Heather Brigstock: I went to a Christian college, Bible college.
- 16:18Heather Brigstock: I saw so many kids that were one way in church and one way out.
- 16:23Heather Brigstock: And the more that we were involved in those circles, the more I realized that there were parents like that, pastors like that.
- 16:32Heather Brigstock: We would go to pastors' homes uh when we were going on deputation, we were traveling to different churches, trying to gather support to be able to go abroad.
- 16:39Heather Brigstock: And so we would go to churches and stay in pastors' homes, and the home was completely different than what the pastor was.
- 16:48Heather Brigstock: And the wow, the difference between who he was on the pulpit and who he was in his house would be miles and miles apart.
- 16:56Heather Brigstock: And nobody knows that more than your children.
- 16:58Heather Brigstock: Your children are watching you and they have laser vision and they know they know if the mom in public and the mom in private are different, they don't understand why, but they start to obviously have that mindset.
- 17:11Heather Brigstock: And I'm so thankful Jeff is the same way.
- 17:14Heather Brigstock: We are not perfect, but what you see at the house is the same that you're gonna see at church, in the grocery store, anywhere else.
- 17:20Heather Brigstock: We have never masked it, and so good, bad, or in between, what you see is what you get.
- 17:26Heather Brigstock: And I think that makes a difference because at the end of the day, I'm not gonna lose my kids.
- 17:30Heather Brigstock: I'm not gonna let them see something that is fake and phony, and I feel the same way about my friends and my customers.
- 17:36Heather Brigstock: It's very important that our words and our actions align, and the Lord knows my heart more than anybody else.
- 17:42Heather Brigstock: But people will see cracks after a while for sure, and it provides a dissonance um in between what you see and what you do.
- 17:50Heather Brigstock: So having beautiful, what's the opposite of the dissonance?
- 17:53Heather Brigstock: And I don't know, there's a word for it.
- 17:56Heather Brigstock: The the chords are in harmony.
- 17:58Heather Brigstock: We want to live our life in a harmony so that people can see that.
- 18:01Tiffany Windsor: I think what I want to wrap up with was another point that I wrote down, which you talked about in a story you were just telling.
- 18:08Tiffany Windsor: Jesus spills out of you when you open your mouth, when you walk in the door.
- 18:12Tiffany Windsor: And what a beautiful way to explain that.
- 18:14Tiffany Windsor: Because that's the way we should be living our lives with every interaction we have, with every person that we invite into our community, Jesus spills out of us.
- 18:25Tiffany Windsor: So that's what you're leaving me with today.
- 18:28Heather Brigstock: I appreciate that.
- 18:29Heather Brigstock: We do margie cups at our house at coffee, and that's what we picture.
- 18:33Heather Brigstock: Be so full.
- 18:33Heather Brigstock: A margie cup is when your coffee is so full you can't carry it.
- 18:36Heather Brigstock: So a margie cup, and I can't remember who Margie is, but that's what we call him.
- 18:41Heather Brigstock: But that's it.
- 18:41Heather Brigstock: Be so full of Jesus that if somebody jostles you, that Jesus spills out.
- 18:45Tiffany Windsor: Thank you, Heather, once again for joining me for an awesome episode of In His Circle.
- 18:50Tiffany Windsor: Thank you, Tiffany.
- 18:51Tiffany Windsor: It was a joy.
- 18:52Tiffany Windsor: Before we go today, if you live near Gallatin, Tennessee, I would like to invite you to join us Thursday mornings for Heather's Bible study at Southwater Manor.
- 19:03Tiffany Windsor: Check out the schedule at Southwatermanor.com.
- 19:07Tiffany Windsor: As a reminder, if you'd like to connect with us, leave a comment, or share one of your own God moments.
- 19:14Tiffany Windsor: We'd love to see you over on inhissircle.substack.com.
- 19:19Tiffany Windsor: That's where you'll find more articles, the In His Circle podcast, and our growing community.
- 19:25Tiffany Windsor: You can join us for free or subscribe for expanded content.
- 19:29Tiffany Windsor: Before we say goodbye today, I want to leave you with this reminder.
- 19:33Tiffany Windsor: Your worth is not measured by what you produce, how successful you are, how much you accomplish, or even how qualified you feel.
- 19:42Tiffany Windsor: Your worth comes from who you are in Christ.
- 19:46Tiffany Windsor: Yes, God calls us to work, to serve, and to use the gifts he's given us.
- 19:52Tiffany Windsor: But we don't have to prove our value through any of it.
- 19:55Tiffany Windsor: We can simply stay close to him and allow him to equip us and live so authentically in our faith that, as Heather shared today, when life jostles us just a little, Jesus spills out.
- 20:09Tiffany Windsor: Keep reading his word, keep listening for his voice, and keep walking in faith because we're all learning to walk faithfully one step at a time.
- 20:17Tiffany Windsor: Until next time, may God's peace be with you.
- 20:20Tiffany Windsor: I'm Tiffany Windsor and thank you for joining us in His Circle.