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Transcript

The Final Race… · Unscripted After 40

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's the final race now.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's the final race now.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let me let me stop.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I can get my sing career off later.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have to do this podcast first, okay?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Unstripped It After 40.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: As you heard me singing earlier, right?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: As I know y'all listen to my beautiful voice, but unfortunately, we got the hole on that first, okay?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: We got to do this podcast first.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell you this story about how me and my son, we do this 40-yard race every year.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And particularly last year, the cat tripped me up, man, as we were running.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna tell my side of the story, and hopefully I can get him back on the podcast so he can tell his lie of the story, okay?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what he's gonna lie by and say, I'm making it all up.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't trip me up.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I fell on my own, like like the man in the grass got me.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever story he's gonna make up, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you the truth, okay?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: What I say is what I say is the truth.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: What he's saying is the fifth.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: 100% lie, okay?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: But the name of this episode is The Final Race.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: The day my son tripped me up on a 40-yard dash, on our final 40-yard dash, because I'm not racing him this year.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: He's not gonna trip me up and then do it again come up this year.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: But let's get to the story.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I say, um, since my son was maybe about 13 years old and he started running track, you know, as he's going to end the high school, me and him start doing a 40-yard dash every year.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So to see who's the fastest.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, by that time frame, you know, when he was young, he sucked that running.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: But when he got around like 11 or 12, a cat started getting some wheels on him.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I had to remind him that, hey, daddy was a trash star in high school and college.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: You just not gonna come out here and burn me and tell your friends that, hey, I'm whipping up on my dad.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: That that's no, it's not going down like that.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to remind him that because just because I'm older than him, that I still got wheels.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was a D1 athlete.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna get this right, okay?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: So he's gonna remember that, you know, dad can got some wheels on him.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, but I digress.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: What this last year, like I said, last Thanksgiving, me and my son, we went down to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving, okay?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, like usual for Thanksgiving, most families they get together, they eat after they finish eating, then they go out there and try to live their glory days, okay?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to live my glory days.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: My glory days are still here because I'm still fast.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like I tell you about track star in high school, track star in call.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I am a track star now.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I still got wheels.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And any of y'all in the crowd that know me want to come get some of this smoke, you let me know in the comments, and I'll meet you anytime, anyplace to give this smoke.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I might even get me a t-shirt made up that I should have got made up for him all these years with my face on the back, smiling with my fingers going pow pow pow at you.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do it one more time.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Pow pow pow at you as I'm spoking you as you're looking at my back.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: But let's get back to my story, okay?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I say, so we ate Thanksgiving dinner, we got outside, you know, we got all the family members out there.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: You got my mom, my dad, all the cousins, you know, and the aunties out there ready to go.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I want to promote this because, you know, we gotta make sure this is good to go.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I with my daughter, I bought her a little gimbal for her phone, and I said, baby, we're gonna tape this now, okay?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is the year we're gonna tape it because Damien is at this time is 20, not 19.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: No, hold up.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Dang, how old is he?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know how old my son is.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Give me a second.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: 20.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, he's 20.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So he he's in college now, running track now.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So he thinks he's fast now, so he thinks he can run.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so he's 20.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 40, something.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna tell you how old I am, but it's 40 something.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let it go.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we out there, we're getting it ready.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so like I say, on one side is the young people, on the right side is the old people.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So once again, on the left side is the young people, on the right side, old people.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the battle of the ages, okay?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So me and him get started to line.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, as in fashion, athletes talk trash to each other.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I walked up to him and I said, What's up, little guy?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I chest bumped him, you know, just a little small chest bump, give him a thing.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: He backed a little bit.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Look here, old man, don't hurt yourself before we get started.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Oh man, oh man.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I said, That's why when I beat you this year, I'm gonna turn around and blow a kiss at you.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, to get like the kiss of death.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm gonna do, the kiss of death.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Kiss of death to him.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's what my plan in my head.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: I saw it like it was like it was already happening, like I bam! Got up on him, I looked out my side view and my left, because he's gonna be the left side of me.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Look at my peripheral vision, my left, and I wasn't gonna see him.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And when I didn't see him, I was gonna turn around and go give him kisses, kisses goodbye as he eats my smoke.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but um apparently he he he had another vision in his head, but we're gonna talk about the vision he had in his head.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So we out there scratching now.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: You I know y'all most of anybody, if you didn't see, go look at some of the NFL Columbine videos.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we get ready.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we about to run the four-yard dash at NFL Columbine.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm scratching my arm, rolling my shoulder, take my my left arm, I put it across my side there, get my right arm, put it across the side, then I take my arms up, I scratch my head, then I do the bend and reach, you know, touch my toes, get my hammies scratched out.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you know, you don't want to hurt your hammies.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want him to, I don't want to pull a hamstring while I'm beating him, you know.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want to make sure that he understands that I beat him fair and square.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: So he won't say, if I so if I if he do beat me, I'll have to put a star next to that beat because I would hurt.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't want to use that old man excuse.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I got hurt, okay?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get hurt.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna just I'll make sure I'm gonna get hurt because I'm gonna beat him.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was gonna be the end of that.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna get beat.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, let me get back to the story.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we lined up, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: After we done talked trash, Tom he said, Oh man, you ain't ready for this.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is the year I'm gonna beat you.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna feel the smoke.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, whatever.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I say, you're gonna see the back of my back.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: That was what you're gonna do.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I say, I'm sorry I didn't get a shirt so you can see my face in the back.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I can go, like I say, the kiss of death.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's what that's my plan.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's my plan in my head.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we get down.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: So my daughter is on the right side of the road out there.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, like I said, I bought her a camera.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, she she got her phone, but I bought her a gimbal for her phone so she can film this glorious day, so that we can make sure that we have it and I can wind it back and show him how bad he got beat.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so and at the end is my cousin with his camera phone, and he had a little tripod ready for the race.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so we get there.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: We done marked up the four-yard line.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: We ready to go.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I get down in my 40-yard stance.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if y'all know before yesterday, now I took my my my left leg, my right leg back, put my left leg on the line, like close line, put my hand, my right hand down the ground, and have my other hand up in the air, and I wave my other hand, you know, that make sure I can feel the wind behind me, right?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Get my wind wind calculations right.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: I should have just took my tongue, put up in the air and feel the wind, which direction the wind going, so I can make sure I can cut the wind when I'm beating them, okay?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we start.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: My arm gets down there.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: My arm say, on your mark, get set, go.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, poof, I take out like a jackrabbit, okay?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, at this time I only took three steps.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Three steps.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm in about second gear right now.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm getting my focus ready, my arms are pumping, and like I said, what I'm gonna do as I'm running, as I'm pumping my arm, I'm gonna look at my left side of my peripheral vision and make sure I see him.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm pumping my arms.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: So as my left arm goes up and my right arm come back up, I look at my peripheral vision.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I see that cat right next to me.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: He's pumping.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's coming for me.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: He's pumping hard.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I like, oh man, he must have been training this year.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: He done come out of that little star.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: He he's he's on my back.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: He's right there.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: He's like right there on the side of me.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I could see him out the left side of my peripheral vision.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I said, okay, he knew what I'm about to do.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I was in second gear.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: He knew I'm about to shift down and get in the third gear.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then once I get a third gear, it's gonna be that separation that we're gonna get.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get that separation between each other so that when I look again at my left side, my ear, because like I said, I'm a four-yard dash, short.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta make sure I get it out and get my thing.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sitting there looking at my left eye for revision, and as he sees me about to pump harder, bam, I feel something hard hit my left leg.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, as I feel it hit my left leg, it takes me off my balance because I'm going, like I said, I'm about to shift in third gear.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm shifting third gear, I'm about to get it and go.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: But as I shift in third gear, I'm shifting, I'm falling forward.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Mari and I told you earlier, we're running on cement.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So as we run that cement, I realize I need to tuck and roll.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: My right hand hits the ground first.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: As my right hand hit, it folds on the pressure.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then my elbow hit, and my elbow hit, and I come down on my right shoulder, hit my right shoulder, and boom, I start to roll.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I knew he tripped me.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: He knew he tripped me, but he didn't say nothing.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you the sad part about this whole thing.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: That cat didn't even stop.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: He kept running.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because he was for sure.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Even though he tripped me, he was still gonna beat me.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So as he runs across the fence line and people coming out to check on me, he's gonna turn around and put his hands up and say, Who else wants some of Hollywood Hulk?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: I like, did this cat just freestyle on me after he tripped me?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I forgot that skater name.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: If y'all can mind me in the comments who that skater is, like they carrion, I think it's carrying.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the lady come and hit her leg and bust her knee up.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: He carriaged me.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's what he did.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: He he did that skater thing back in the 80s and stuff.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: He he went there and took my leg out and made me trip just so he could win.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, like I tell you earlier, he might be coming in the comments and say, I'm lying, but that's what happened, okay?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: We were running, like I say, running, remember like a thing.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: I looked out my left foot vision, I looked for my left eye, peripheral vision, and he was there.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: He saw about the shift into third gear, and as the time about shifting to third gear, bam, he hit my left leg.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: When he hit my left leg, he knew my balance was off shipping.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I fell forward, like I say.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hand, elbow, shoulder back.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hand, elbow, shoulder back.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I roll.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: I roll.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that cat went cross the line, turned around, gonna put his hands up, talking about who else wants some of Hollywood Hulk.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like he did something.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: He cheated.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's what he did.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: He he did something, all right.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: He cheated me.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: And they're gonna come back and say, oh man, are you okay?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: I understand that smoke he was coughing on trip you up.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: He wasn't no smoke, you tripped me.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: If he wasn't my son, I would have beat him down that road.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I realize you can't beat your kids in the road.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Even though he's 20 now, he's a grown man.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I should have just beat him down that road after he done tripped me up.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: He knows he was wrong.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: You got to trip nobody up because you lose him.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to come out there and lose with grace.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I know I was talking trash to him all these years.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: He needs to suck that up.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: He ain't tripped me.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's what that final race was about.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: He ain't tripped me.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I say, he took my pride from me when he tripped me up.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: He ain't steal it.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: He could have been there.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then he he gonna get back and at the back of the line after he done passed the line, turn around, and go do his little celebration dance, talking about who else wants some of Hollywood Hulk.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Ain't nobody else want them a Hollywood Hulk.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: You ain't no Hollywood Hulk.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I know Ho Hogan cheated.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's besides the point.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: He shouldn't cheat on me.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: With family.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: You don't trip family in the road.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the problem is.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: But as I've realized I'm arguing about this, I said I got proof.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I got proof he tripped me.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter, I'll love her to death, okay?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Why do these kids do not do not charge their phone up these days?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: All that, I bought her the gimbal.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: The gimbal had external power, it had a cord that goes to from the the power thing to your phone to charge your phone up while you're recording.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Why then her phone went dead right as the race started?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: They ain't go hoops.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's why that's why I I know my sweet baby girl helped her brother cheat because she's gonna turn it off.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then my cousin that was supposed to be taping at the line at the back, he said, Oh man, as soon as I saw you fail, I ran to you, and as I run towards you, I hit my phone and then I turned around and catch my phone.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I was down there getting busted with the semen and stuff, and he worried about his phone more than he worried about me.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: The goddamn shenanigans.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that we kept, I'm gonna tell you like it is.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: We was on the line.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: We got started.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: My aunt said, oh yeah, Marsh it said, go.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: We jumped out, we were racing, he hit my left leg, tripped me up, I rolled, he kept running, then he beat me.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's a star against that asterisk because he he he didn't beat me.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Cheated.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what happened when you with the kids that cheat.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: He probably been cheating all, like I say, he he he probably been cheating for a while now.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: He plan this out.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Ain't no way.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: He thought about that from last I can say from last was called that.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: He thought about for a while.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what he was trying to do, beat me forever.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: But it's okay.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: I see how this.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not worried about him no more.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: He can cheat all he won.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, but that's my story.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm sticking to it.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: The cat cheated me.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Out of my race.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: But don't worry.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: This year, if I do race him, I'm gonna set my own video cameras.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna rail him.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, that's my rant.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna leave it alone.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I say, thank you for rocking with me with this episode.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: If your kids out there cheating you in your final race dance, or whatever sport you're playing with, if they didn't beat you fairly, that torch haven't been passed yet.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: They got to beat you fairly.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, make sure it happened.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I say, comments, shares, and top suggestions are always welcome.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Please comment.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know if your kids are cheating you out of your final race or your final hurry, and they're gonna turn around talking about who else wants some of Hollywood hope.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, it's alright.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get rid of it.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Unstriped the after 40, the podcast.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Unedit, unrehearse, real talk with real people.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let your kids trip you up while you're running.