Latest / Reality TV Cringe / 143: Shooting The Messenger - The Valley: Doubting Doute (S1 E3)

Transcript

143: Shooting The Messenger - The Valley: Doubting Doute (S1 E3) · Reality TV Cringe

0:10
Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Cringe. I am one of your hosts,
0:14
Delia here with my real tight homegirl and my daughter in law Beatrice.
0:20
What was up everybody else? We are here gathered tonight to talk about the
0:26
Valley Season one, episode three, and I got some shit to say on
0:31
my heart. She's triggered about this. Jesse Lally guy. Yeah. Oh,
0:35
but we'll get into it. Before we do, we want to give
0:38
you the disclaimer. We got to tell you every time Honey had your wife
0:41
and had your kids. This is a politically incorrect podcast. We say bad
0:46
words, We have our own opinions. Sometimes they're great, sometimes they're not.
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And so if you're thought for all wolf, you might want to find
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1:00
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on YouTube and helps us to attract more raccoons. Yeah, into the dumpster.
1:32
Yeah, so thank you in advance. Thank you. Okay, so
1:36
before we get into the episode, I have to ask you, do you
1:38
have any major takeaways or thoughts about what you watched. Everybody sucks, everybody's
1:44
a liar, everybody gossips, everybody's fake. That's my takeaway, just like
1:49
VBR. Are you enjoying it though? Yeah, I'm like you, Oh,
1:52
it's like juicy. I'm just saying like everybody's a liar because it's fucking
1:55
la. If you have to choose between the Valley and VPR in terms of
2:00
entertainment, which one do you like more? So far VPR, but only
2:02
because of like scanned of all, because I think that's just like crazy and
2:07
just intense. Like I'm waiting for Valley to kind of get to that level
2:09
because i feel like I foresee, am I fake psychic prediction that it's going
2:14
to get crazy? Yeah, especially with like the impending breakups and stuff like
2:17
that. Like I'm excited for that and it's already popping off in episode three,
2:22
So I'm like Okay, give me more of this. Okay, Yeah,
2:25
Well my takeaway is that I actually don't think everybody's a liar. I
2:30
think Kristin is telling the truth. And what I mean specifically is I think
2:35
she's telling the truth that Zach told her that Janet told Jasmine that Michelle was
2:40
a Republican slash racist slash homophobe. Like, I think that actually was said
2:47
to Kristin, and I think she's telling the truth about it. Now,
2:51
did she commit a social faux pas by like bringing it up at a party
2:55
at Michelle's house? Absolutely, it was inappropriate. She didn't need to say
3:00
that. Also, if Zach is one of your very best friends, why
3:04
are you throwing him under the bus. It doesn't make sense, right,
3:06
But that's Kristin for you. Yeah. I think Janet called her crazy Kristin
3:10
tonight, and she can get triggered and she can act inappropriately, Yet I
3:15
think she's telling the truth. Secondly, one of my major thoughts was about
3:21
Zach's hair, because I don't know what's happening. He seems like a young
3:24
man, so it doesn't seem to me that he would like have a two
3:28
pay full on but it kind of looks like a two pey, looks like
3:32
a rug right on the top of his head. Girl. I don't know
3:35
if it's a twopey or hair plugs or what, but I'm like, dude,
3:38
your hairline is not here. No, what is that like right at
3:40
the top of your eyebrows. It's so stiff, It's like, what are
3:44
you doing? Yeah, well, maybe he has like really thick, curly
3:46
hair and he's just trying to tame it into submission. But I'm just like,
3:51
it is bizarre. It looks like it's fake. It looks like it's
3:53
a tube. Yeah, and he's a young man, he don't need a
3:55
tube. Well, maybe he's balding. My dad went bald at twenty time.
4:00
Really, yeah, he went bo so sometimes, but my dad owned
4:03
it, like he's like, I'm just gonna shave my fucking head, right,
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And he's just been a ball guy ever since. I respect that,
4:08
Yeah, and everybody loves him for it and there's nothing wrong with it.
4:11
But like then you have the opposite end of the spectrum with these other guys
4:14
like Zach and Cody Brown, who are so insecure about losing they can can
4:19
the illusion of hair. Yeah, it's really bad Zach, I'm cringing.
4:24
I know, I don't know what's going on. So those were my primary
4:27
thoughts. Let's get into the episode. Let's get into a bitch. Will
4:30
we start with Jackson Britney Market, because right at the top of the bitch,
4:35
I gotta be a bit. I'm a bitch, You're a bitch.
4:38
Everybody's a bitch. Okay, all right, Jackson and Brittany are at the
4:42
Farmer's Market and they're already talking shit about the night before the girls' night.
4:46
So, like, this is my only critique of this episode. I'm like,
4:48
why couldn't we have seen the footage a hundred percon Like we know the
4:55
cameras were there, Yeah, they were filming the entire night, Like,
4:59
why wouldn't they have shown us the entire arcument? I feel robbed me too.
5:04
It doesn't make any sense from like a production standpoint, Yeah, that
5:09
you wouldn't show this huge fucking fight and with Zach screaming in the kitchen,
5:13
right he didn't say that? Like, why didn't we get to see any
5:16
of that except in a flashback? That makes no sense. It makes absolutely
5:19
no sense because didn't they say to be continued Like wasn't it like a whole
5:24
thing. So I'm like, okay, So now we're at the farmer's market
5:27
with Jackson Brittany acting all suburbian and get with their baby or whatever getting tomatoes,
5:31
Like okay, it was completely weird. I thought we would pick up
5:35
right where we left off, still at the party, and I'm really disappointed
5:39
that we didn't. I know, we just get the recaps from Jackson Brittany
5:43
in their own voices, Like right, Jax talks about Guys Night and being
5:46
like, yeah, fucking Luke popped off on me because I brought Kristen's X,
5:49
like he's just being all pissed off about it, and then Brittany's like,
5:54
yeah, I told Kristen that you brought her ex over and she popped
5:59
off and freaked out. And this is where Brittany kind of recaps the night
6:02
before where she's talking about this big old rumor that or this big old bomb
6:06
that Kristin dropped off, which is Kristin shouting, well, Janet telled me
6:13
or Zach Janet and Zach told me that Michelle's a racist Republican or something like
6:17
that, and then Zach's like, I never said that and that's where we
6:23
saw that review that we didn't get to see the footage of Thank You Bravo.
6:26
So, yeah, Brittany and Jack's are trying to set up the conflict
6:30
that they know is coming up, and Jack's like, yeah, Kristen shouldn't
6:35
have said that. Brittany agrees, and they just feel like puppeteers to me,
6:40
right, you just feel like they're on the outskirts trying to make different
6:43
scenes happen. Yeah, And I'm really not interested in them at all this
6:46
season. I really don't like Britney. I don't know why she's riding so
6:49
hard for Jacks. I know that's her husband, but his behavior is so
6:55
bad it is indefensible. And yet here comes Britney on our bullshit every time
7:00
time, defending this asshole, and she'll throw Kristin under the bus in order
7:02
to do so. Yeah. So I'm yeah, that's my that's my thought
7:06
about that scene. I didn't like either of them, me neither. And
7:10
I'm like, why are you producing the show? For the producers? Yeah,
7:13
like it's very interesting to me. I don't you remember like in the
7:15
aughts, I know you were much younger, but like we had shows like
7:18
America's Next Top Model, which absolutely was toxic. We had shows like Bad
7:24
Girls Club, We had shows like fucking Flavor of Love. We had all
7:27
these shows that were so much like more authentic, yeah and organic, And
7:33
even though they were preposterous and they were definitely bottom of the barrel people in
7:40
different scenarios, I enjoyed them much more too, because we're seeing actual reactions
7:44
to things that are happening and the cameras are picking them up. This just
7:47
feels cobbled together, put together for some kind of a show. Yeah,
7:51
because they want money. It just feels like that to me. Like for
7:55
Brittany and Jacks, if they're the ones like producing all of this and they're
7:58
the headliners of it, I'm like, are you all hurting for money and
8:01
you want to be like VPR because you can't go back on VPR because you're
8:03
losers. Well, I thought maybe they were doing well because I thought,
8:07
wow, Jacks bought this bar in Studio City, but then we learned that
8:11
he didn't put any money into it. He's got investors, he just got
8:16
the name. So yeah, I'm just there. I don't think they're doing
8:18
that great for money, and I think they're absolutely looking for opportunities in television,
8:22
clout Goblin. That's why they're trying so hard to manufacture drama to make
8:28
it interesting. And I mean, granted, this drama that they're manufacturing is
8:33
kind of interesting because it starts off right off the bat. So then after
8:37
the Farmer's Market, we get over to Michelle and Jesse's house, and this
8:43
is where Michelle's like, I can't believe Kristen is such a bitch that she
8:46
would say that I'm a Republican and that I'm racist, because I mean,
8:50
first of all, if I'm a Republican, who cares. Second of all,
8:52
I'm not fucking racist. She's like first generation Persian and Persian. So
8:56
it's like she's like, I'm not fucking racist. It's stupid. And Jesse's
9:00
like, yeah, it's fucking bullshit. And then this is where Michelle calls
9:03
Janet because Kristen said Janet said that Michelle was a Republican and racist. So
9:09
she's like, I'm gonna call Janet and confirm right whether or not this was
9:13
true, right, And so Janet's like, I never said that. I
9:18
never said the word racist. I never would. I wouldn't be your friend
9:22
if you were a racist. This is just Kristin Doty doing the fuck shit
9:26
that Kristin always does. And now I have a real problem with Kristin,
9:31
but I was watching her, I was watching Janet on the phone on the
9:35
FaceTime, and you know, I got a vibe that check. I was
9:37
just like, I feel like you talked some shit. Actually, maybe didn't
9:41
use the word racist, maybe you didn't use the word homophobe, but like,
9:46
I'm feeling that you actually did some of that shit. And I also
9:50
feel like she knew before the call came in that they were going to be
9:54
talking about this, so she had prepared herself so she wasn't caught off guard.
9:58
Yeah, she's a lawyer's wife. She knows how to fucking mitigate and
10:03
turn it around so that she's not in trouble. But I'm like, I
10:05
think you were spreading some shit. And I think when we talk about the
10:09
fact that Kristin didn't say the shit, that Kristen is actually friends with Michelle
10:15
at this point. She didn't start the rumors. It was somebody else.
10:18
I think what Kristin really did wrong in terms of Michelle and Jesse is that
10:22
she said this on camera. Yeah, so now you created a thing.
10:26
Now you called their reputation into question, and they're going to have to defend
10:31
themselves. Like I think if Kristin would have said this without cameras, it
10:35
wouldn't have been this huge of a deal for Michelle. No, not at
10:37
all. Yeah, if it was just in the social circles and it was
10:41
just gossiping in whatever in a game of telephone, like everybody's referring it to,
10:45
then fine. But it was on camera. Although we didn't get to
10:48
see it all. We just got to see the flashback. I'm still salty
10:50
about it. Yeah, but yeah, it's very interesting how this gets out
10:54
and it's such a big accusation to all these people in LA of course,
10:58
because they're in this like very liberal social scene where that is like so taboo.
11:03
I mean later Zach calls it and he's like, it's social suicide if
11:07
you are a Republican, if you're outed as that, and I'm like,
11:09
yeah, that's true because it's fucking LA, right. But yeah, very
11:13
interesting scene with her calling Janet and Jane's like, no, I never said
11:18
that. Well we hear a bit more of an explanation from Janet, which
11:24
corroborates my hunch. Yeah, there was something that was said. Yeah,
11:28
she just tries to flush it out in a little bit of a different way.
11:31
But we'll get there when we get there. Yes, we will get
11:31
there. And then we have Luke and Kristen in her new apartment, which
11:35
is down the hall. It's only seventy three dollars more a month, but
11:39
it's like way bigger, way more luxurious. It's so great whatever they're moving
11:43
into it. And then they start talking about what happened at the girls and
11:46
the guys' nights. Luke's like, yeah, I mean, at least Jack's
11:52
pulled me aside to tell me he was bringing your dough boy ex boyfriend over
11:56
there, but it was still a bit of a blind side. It was
11:58
still pretty fucked up. And then Kristen's like, yeah, I feel really
12:01
bad about saying what I said about Michelle at the girls' night because now it's
12:07
caused this whole big old thing. I don't want to make Michelle feel like
12:09
I'm putting her under the bus or throwing out of the bus. I'm like,
12:13
well, you kind of are, yeah, like a little bit,
12:15
and Logan's like, yeah, I mean you just don't want to weaponize things
12:18
that people tell you, because like that's not the right thing to do with
12:22
your friends. And we have Kristin admitting that she did weaponize it, but
12:26
that she was triggered and so she was just like throwing things out because she
12:31
was so upset, But like, that's no excuse. So Kristin does seem
12:33
to acknowledge that she was wrong. But at the same time, it appears
12:37
that both Luke and Kristen validate that this shit was said to them, not
12:43
just Kristin. It was said to them by Zach right, which I think
12:48
is important because if it were just Kristin who heard it from Zach, then
12:52
it's much easier to call her a total liar. But with somebody like Luke,
12:54
who kind of seems like a hay seed, who kind of seems like
12:58
he has a moral compass, yeah, I feel like it's harder to say
13:01
it was a lie. So I think we're going to see some of that
13:03
going forward. I hope that we do. Oh yeah. And I think
13:05
this is also where in her interstitial, Kristen's interstitial, she says that there
13:09
was a lot of talking shit before production even started, and so now that
13:15
the cameras are on, everybody wants to put on a face and pretend like
13:18
none of that happened. But I'm honest and I'm gonna say it, which
13:22
I'm just like is interesting because I appreciate her honesty. But at the same
13:28
time, I'm like, Kristin, you know what kind of social g you're
13:30
in, right, Like, you know the kind of scene you're in.
13:33
All these people are fake as fuck, right, so they're not going to
13:35
take lightly for you to be spreading the actual truth and what they said about
13:39
each other on TV because they all got an image to maintain. You know,
13:43
what we didn't talk about was Janet's interstitials when she was talking to Michelle
13:48
because she was talking about her relationship with Kristin and how about a year ago
13:54
she had put a boundary down with Kristin because Kristin was bitching about her ex
13:58
boyfriend Alex and She's like, I can't do this anymore. Something happened.
14:01
I don't know what happened, but Jannat's like, yeah, we can't do
14:03
that anymore. And ever since then, according to Janet, Kristin has been
14:09
talking about her and kind of throwing her under the bus and then she talks
14:13
about the relationship that Kristin had with Alex, and she's like, you know,
14:16
I saw firsthand that Kristin did some shit to Alex, and Kristin even
14:22
admitted like, yeah, this was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.
14:26
But all of a sudden, once she meets Luke, oh, Alex is
14:30
a narcissist. He took advantage of me. He's this bad person, and
14:33
Janet straight up says, well, we were there, Yeah, that didn't
14:37
happen. So is that like normal for Kristen's behavior to like always victimize herself
14:43
and make everybody else out to be like I think so? I think so
14:48
kind of, And that kind of lent itself to this sort of sad feeling
14:52
that I have with Kristin, Like looking at her being forty now forty one
14:54
years old, and she's still trying to find a good relationship. She's trying
15:00
to build this life that she really wants, but she's still I think,
15:03
probably really toxic in relationships. She seems like she's still toxic, and I
15:09
think she needs therapy. Yeah, it seems like it. I mean,
15:11
even with all of this gossip stuff, it's like, Okay, Kristin social
15:16
Like you need to learn social cues a little bit and like not spread all
15:20
of this crap around of people saying whatever, Just let it play out the
15:22
way it's supposed to play out. You don't need to be like the truth
15:26
teller that's saying, oh, well, Zach told me this or Jane told
15:28
me that, Like it's just going to create more of a problem. You
15:31
know what I felt though, was like, cause I'm really well, I'm
15:37
no pen intended. I'm luke warm about Luke. I'm like, oh whatever,
15:41
Yeah, kind of basic white guy from Colorado. But I really love
15:46
how he's ride or Die, And even though Kristin was completely out of line,
15:50
he is standing ten to's down and he's going to stick up for her.
15:54
And then later when we get to the copery party, we see that
15:58
he is the first one to defend her and I love that. Yeah,
16:02
like even if she's fucked up, even if she's wrong, he's going to
16:03
protect her. And I think there's something really sweet about that. Do I
16:07
like toxic masculine? How your husband is? It's very masculinely, No,
16:14
let's fucking take this outside, Like, don't talk to her like that,
16:17
Like and Jesse says shut the fuck up to Kristin Wild and Luke's like,
16:21
okay, it is own, Lick stands Holan, Yeah, we are doing
16:25
this thing. Yeah, And of course Jesse doesn't because he's five four and
16:26
he doesn't want everybody to see the height differential between him and Luke. Sorry,
16:32
it's pretty much anyway. I know, I liked I liked Luke even
16:34
though Kristin was wrong. He was supportive. Yes, I liked it too.
16:38
And then we have Jax going to his bar that he owns, I
16:42
guess, but he doesn't invest any money into it. I don't know if
16:45
he owns it though. Like I'm really very curious about how it's structured.
16:49
He said he had three investors and he didn't put any money into it.
16:53
All it is is his namesake, So I wonder, like, does that
16:56
mean he gets some sort of a kickback or is to get a portion kind
17:00
of like Tom Tom which is Lisa vander Pump's bar, which is Tom sand
17:06
of all Tom Schwartz's namesake. I think they put in ten percent in order
17:10
to have some ownership. I just wonder like how it's all working. You
17:14
know, I'm always very fascinated by the coins. Oh yeah. But when
17:17
this dude was like, oh yeah, I don't know, and I don't
17:19
own anything or I haven't invested anything or whatever he said, He's like,
17:23
but I gotta help interview employees for it, And I'm like, really right,
17:29
I think maybe what he brings to the table is cameras and now a
17:33
show. And also he's obviously been on VPR and so they're hoping that they
17:37
can leverage his celebrity in order to open the bar and be successful. Which
17:42
I hear that like it's open and unlike something about her. Yeahs I hear
17:48
that it's open and that it's kind of a fun bar to go to.
17:51
Well that's good for them, I guess. Yeah, I'm sure he hired
17:53
all of the busty bartenders that they interviewed. That woman who walks in,
18:00
I mean, go for go. I mean it's just fine. But like
18:03
on the heels of that other like strictly business woman who walks in was like
18:07
her portfolios and like all of her credentials and this is my certificate, this
18:11
is everything you need. But she probably doesn't fit their physical idea of what
18:15
they want. Yeah, so they want hot brunette chicks, right, they're
18:18
never gonna hire her. So then I guess saw hot brunette chick comes in
18:22
and makes them a lemon drop and they like it and they're like, yeah,
18:23
it's so amazing. You've got the look, you got the tattoos,
18:26
the dark hair. It's great, right, And I'm sure Jack's fucked her
18:30
later. I'm sure I like try to, like he's just like kind of
18:33
alluding to that and it is interstitial. She's like, oh, yeah,
18:36
you know, they're pretty, and like this one girl walked in with no
18:37
bron I'm like, yeah, but I noticed when he was talking to the
18:41
girl with no bra, like he wouldn't look at her. He was looking
18:42
up at the ceiling like he was trying to do what I think he thinks
18:47
is the right thing. Yeah, sure, by not ogling her. So
18:49
maybe he's trying to be a good husband. I don't know how any I
18:53
feel like he's cheating on Brittany. Okay, night, all right, and
19:00
have Brittany and Kristin going to get chat. Yeah, and they're talking about
19:04
the whole Republican racist debucle I was kind of surprised that they didn't have shit
19:10
to hash out between them and it was Brittany and Kristin that were actually in
19:15
the argument, and we didn't see any of the resolution of that. But
19:18
they didn't even mention they didn't must have gotten over it, I guess.
19:22
I mean, they didn't even talk about Kristin didn't even talk about why she
19:26
was upset with Brittany in the first place, for defending Jack's for inviting her
19:30
ex boyfriend when Luke was there. It's just like so weird. I don't
19:34
know what the editing is, very bizarre. I hope they don't continue that.
19:37
Yeah, throughout the series, but whatever, they talk about it,
19:41
and this is where they're talking about the whole rumor in general, and Christen's
19:45
like, yeah, I mean this is what I was told it was alluded
19:48
to. Maybe I shouldn't have like blurted it out. I feel bad about
19:52
it, and Pretty's like, yeah, like I understand your intentions or whatever.
19:55
And then Kristin at some point is like, well, let me call
19:56
Zak and confront him, and so that she puts it one speaker and it's
20:00
like, can you tell me and confirm because Brittany's here that you told me
20:07
that Michelle was republican and racist and he's like, no, I never said
20:10
racist. I said Republican. Yeah, it's like that did happen, but
20:14
I never said racist. And then we have some weird interstitial with Zach talking
20:18
about how Kristin is pulling out all these balls from the lottery, Like I
20:22
think what he's trying to say is that she's taking information from several conversations and
20:29
coming up with a conclusion about the spirit of what was said, right,
20:33
Like he didn't know how to actually say that, but it sounds like the
20:36
problem is you though you're the one relaying all of these various and sundry conversations
20:40
to Kristin and then getting upset because she's drawing a conclusion and sharing it,
20:45
right, And you guys know what you're insinuating, Like even if you didn't
20:48
say the words racist or homophobic or whatever, you know what you're doing when
20:53
you're saying shit like they're Republican and that the don't say gay bill when we
20:59
get into that, like they know what they're doing with that, and so
21:03
they're being kind of manipulative. And I don't trust Janet at all. Oh
21:07
no, neither. She's very shady. And I don't trust Zach either.
21:10
He's gossiping about all this shit and getting mad because it's getting out. It's
21:15
like, okay, did she getting that? I think he's deflecting. I
21:17
don't even think he's mad. I feeling he's just so mortified that everybody's finding
21:22
out that he's gossiping about everybody there. But that's probably what they love about
21:26
him. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. I just thought that was
21:29
interesting. And then we have a scene with Jesse and Michelle go into some
21:33
life coach or therapy or something, which I thought was interesting because they're kind
21:37
of talking about their relationship, yes, their problems and their marriage because Jesse's
21:42
a fucking piece of shit. Yes, oh my gosh. Well, and
21:45
she's talking about how he's really hard on her, and we see that and
21:49
they actually even flash back to I think she's making him an espresso or a
21:53
coffee and he's like, don't put too many don't put too much milk in
21:57
that, and she's like okay, and she's making coffee. She gives it
22:00
to him and he's like, there's too much milk in that. I have
22:03
to dump this out. Like the tone in which he's speaking to her after
22:07
she's making something for him and bringing something for him. I'm just like Jesus
22:11
Christ soften, I know, be a little nice, be a little kind.
22:15
And the life coach is even saying like, you've got to learn how
22:18
to give some warmth. Yeah, give some kindness so that she can respond
22:22
to you, because evidently Michelle has not been attracted to Jesse for three years
22:27
and nine months, which is when I think she conceived her daughter Isabella,
22:30
And she doesn't validate or confirm that. She says it's been a long time
22:34
though, yeah, and then in his interstitial he's like, well, yeah,
22:40
I watched porn Hub yesterday. That's what sex. I guess that's what
22:41
sex is. Yeah, you're such a piece of shit, implying they never
22:45
have sex. Yes, he's not fulfilled, and he just seems like really
22:51
terrible, like as a partner and as a father, Like I feel like
22:53
she's every single day regretting hooking up with him. Oh yeah, because maybe
22:57
he can provide a home near the Chateau Marmont. Who the fuck cares if
23:03
your galley kitchen also has your washer and dryer, like whatever, lady,
23:07
But there's nothing underneath, no nothing, And I mean I think she's I
23:11
can't remember if she said it to the life coach slash therapist or if she
23:15
said it in her interstitial. She was talking about how like everything for Jesse
23:18
has to be fucking perfect and everything is about an image and he wants their
23:22
house to be pristine and not even look like they have kids, And I'm
23:26
like, that's fucking toxic as hell, and I knew I kind of picked
23:30
up on that the last two episodes when he's just like talking about they're show
23:33
too normal, like the house near shops, also yelling at her when she's
23:37
doing laundry and trying to do things around the house and telling her how to
23:40
do it although he won't do it himself. Right. He's so fucking pretentious
23:45
and critical and it's all about his image, and it's all about their business.
23:48
It's all about the money, and it's like so ridiculous. Why do
23:51
you have a fucking kid with this beautiful woman by the way, who's way
23:53
out of your leave because he's expecting her to take on absolutely everything, the
23:59
emotional load and all of the physical labor that is associated with the home.
24:02
Because she's talking about in this session with a life coach like I'm lonely,
24:06
Yeah, I don't get to talk to adults much less my partner. So
24:08
he's never home. He's out and he's selling houses, he's probably schmoozing,
24:14
going to bars, restaurants, talking to people at night, and she's alone
24:17
taking care of Isabella. And then when he is home, this is the
24:19
guy that he is. He's yelling at her about the amount of milk that
24:22
he puts in his coffee that he can make the fuck for himself, or
24:26
yelling at her about like not having everything together for her little party. Like
24:30
he's just always yelling at her always. Why would she stay with him again?
24:36
I just have to Can we have the conversation? Like Jesse, it's
24:40
twenty twenty four, We've all had a lot of information about how to be
24:44
kinder and gentler with our fellow brother and sister. Don't you know that the
24:48
cameras are on my guy? Don't you know that they're picking up in your
24:51
house and you're saying this shit to your wife on camera. How do you
24:55
think that's going to affect your business? How do you think that's going to
24:57
affect your reputation? Yeah? Don't you I know that you are on the
25:00
verge of being canceled and then I don't know where I saw this, Maybe
25:03
it was on the reddits, or maybe I heard this in an after show,
25:07
but it seems that Jesse said some weird wax shit in a group chat
25:14
with all of these people about something really derogatory, and it's going to come
25:18
out this season. Y. Yeah, so this is his nature. To
25:22
me, It's like, if you're truly a narcissist and your nature is to
25:26
be poisonous, like, wouldn't you want to mask, wouldn't you want to
25:30
try and sell yourself as somebody different? But he doesn't give a fuck.
25:33
He doesn't care who sees him to be the asshole that he is. Well,
25:37
and I don't even think he thinks he's an asshole, because in the
25:40
life coaching thing, when the guy's telling him, yeah, be softer to
25:44
your wife, be nice to your wife, He's like, well, at
25:45
what point is it too much? Like if I'm being the nice guy for
25:49
two months and I'm still not getting fucked and I'm still not getting my dick
25:53
sucked, then what's the point, right? And the life coach is like,
25:57
dude, that's the problem. You're too attached to the result and this
26:02
is all transactional, right, and that's he doesn't see that. He's like,
26:04
oh, okay, I guess, but like he's not taking that to
26:08
heart because he just thinks, Okay, well, no, I gotta do
26:11
more shit to get what I want. Why can't I just get my dick
26:15
sucked? Why can't my wife just be the wife that I needed to be,
26:17
which is perfect in every fucking way, doesn't talk, doesn't do anything,
26:21
doesn't backtalk me, and just always fucks me. I just kind of
26:25
I'm like perplexed and flu mixed because I can't imagine a forty year old without
26:30
like rudimentary emotional intelligence to understand like how to be a better person in this
26:34
world. But like, I think some people don't give a shit about being
26:38
good people in this world. Yep, you know. I think the reason
26:41
that I expected is because the people I surround myself with personally are good people.
26:47
So it just it's it. It fucking surprises me to see a piece
26:49
of shit like that, just putting it all on front streets. I know,
26:52
mom, bravo, baby, I know. I'm like, you don't
26:55
understand. You are going to be so hated. I went up on his
26:57
Instagram. He's only got like thirty t two hundred followers, much loser,
27:02
by the way, yeah, much less than us, And people just in
27:04
his comments already calling him out. Oh my god, you're never gonna work
27:08
again, dude. Get the fuck off my TV. Dude, Oh you
27:12
suck my This is the very beginning of what is going to happen to you,
27:17
Jesse. And it couldn't have happened to a nicer person. I mean,
27:19
karma's a bit, that's right. Good lord. Then we have Janet
27:25
and Jason at their home, and I thought this was kind of cute,
27:27
just this moment where Janet walks into his office or whatever and she's like,
27:32
the baby's craving McDonald I'm ordering it. And he's like, we have food
27:34
at home, and she's like, I don't care, I need McDonald I
27:37
heard the baby seek to me on a psychic level and say we're hungry for
27:41
McDonald's. I thought that was cute. Yeah, it was the only redeeming
27:45
part of uh Janet, because I think she's a gossip in ho. Yeah,
27:49
but then she kind of clarifies on their whole like conversation about Kristen being
27:56
Republican slash racist slash homophobe. I think she's telling it to Jason where she's
28:00
like saying, what was it? It was something about the don't say gay
28:06
laws. Yeah, she was talking about a conversation that she was having with
28:11
Michelle, and Michelle said that the don't say gay law protects children, and
28:18
the way Janet is spinning it, she was just like, oh no,
28:21
no, that's not what it is. And so she tried to have some
28:23
sort of a conversation with Michelle at the time about that, but then subsequently
28:30
had a conversation in addition with Jasmine, who is a person of color and
28:33
also a bisexical and so she mentioned to Jasmine, hey, you know,
28:40
this is kind of what her viewpoint is about that, and so maybe if
28:42
she brings it up to you, it could be a teachable moment. I
28:45
doubt it. I really doubt that that's how that came out. Janet.
28:48
Yeah, I'm not buying that for a minute. But she's liked so maybe
28:51
if she mentions it's to you, now you have the information and maybe you
28:53
can teach her, because that's what Jasmine wants to do, is perpetually teaching
28:57
people about fucking homest sexuality and bisexuality. Just go out and fucking learn on
29:02
your own, any right, going off on a diet dribe. But I
29:06
didn't believe her version of that conversation. I think the version of the conversation
29:11
probably happened with Michelle where Michelle said something like that that don't say gay bill
29:15
or whatever out of Florida. But then I think Janet took that and then
29:19
conflated and assigned a lot of impressions to that and passed it on to Jasmine.
29:27
And it was Jasmine who then talked to Zach about it, who was
29:32
also a member of the LGBTQ community, and then it got to Kristen.
29:40
So I don't believe Jasmine. I think Jasmine heard it from Janet in a
29:42
fucked up way, and I think Zach heard it from Jasmine in a fucked
29:45
up way too. I agree. And even Janet in this interstitial or whatever
29:52
she's saying like it's Kristin's fault, she conflated it. She's insinuating what I
29:56
meant, and that's not what I said. It's like, no, that's
29:59
what I'm saying earlier, Like she knew what she was saying when she said
30:02
that shit to Jasmine. Of like, oh, that don't say gay Bill.
30:04
This is what Michelle said, Like you knew what you were doing with
30:07
that, Like, I don't buy that for a minute. And she's setting
30:11
Jasmine up to say, well, of course she didn't say that, because
30:14
Jasmine knows that she went to Zach and talked shit too, and so Zach
30:18
is also incentivized to say, absolutely not, we never said that when they
30:21
did. When Janet, I think, really did bring that energy yep,
30:23
to the conversations that she had, She's the one who's responsible for spreading it.
30:29
It gets to Kristin, she's a dummy. She blurts it out.
30:33
But now Kristin's going to have to bear the brunt, and Janet gets to
30:34
sit there and say, I'm disgusted that you said that. That's so wicked,
30:38
Janet, you one hundred percent implied that, honey, Yeah, one
30:42
thousand percent. And all of this is leading up to the Capri dinner,
30:47
and we have like a little scene with Jesse and Michelle talking about the Capri
30:52
dinner and he's like, it's a sophisticated get together because everybody goes to Capri
30:56
and summers. I'm like, shut the fuck out, God, he's so
31:00
fucking pretentious, like the worst kind of like well off rich person where you
31:04
just are doing it for probably not that well off though, like trying to
31:07
come off as if he's rich but probably not that rich. Yes. Yeah,
31:12
And even Michelle calls him out. She's like, stop calling it sophisticated,
31:17
because I think she calls it a party, and he's like, it's
31:18
not a fucking party, it's sophisticated. I'm like, oh my, She's
31:22
like, you don't have to say the word though. Let it just be
31:26
that it's fine. Don't have to describe it endlessly as that. People will
31:30
pick it up if it's actually sophisticated. But by the time we get to
31:33
the sophisticated party, like everybody's eating off of a buffet and serving themselves.
31:37
And so I'm like, is this sophisticated in a house that looks like every
31:41
other fucking house in the hills in La. I'm sick of these big white
31:45
boxes, all of which look the same. Yes. God, these people
31:48
are so self congratulatory. We're in this beautiful, sophisticated home. I'm like,
31:52
you guys are clown I know, Jesus, clown guys are losers.
31:57
I just can't with it. So once we get to the Capri dinner,
32:01
I think it's Jasmine, her girlfriend, Melissa, and Zach that are on
32:07
the way, and that's when we find out she's best sexicle and she's been
32:09
with Melissa eating her box for three years. Grand gate cos I was not
32:15
called. I was not expecting. I was like, hey, good for
32:17
you girls, that's great. And then they're wearing linen I don't either,
32:22
trying to dress into the Italian theme and sophisticated. They all arrive in their
32:28
beautiful dresses and outfits, and I think Kristen goes up to Michelle kind of
32:34
in the beginning and she's like, hey, you look beautiful, and Kristen
32:37
is obviously tentative and concerned because obviously something terrible happened at Michelle's house, and
32:43
so she's apologizing and Michelle is not super receptive to that, and Kristen says,
32:49
hey, can we go talk and Michelle's like, yeah, maybe later,
32:52
not right now. So she's giving her the cold shoulder, she's icing
32:55
her out, and she's she's pretty pissed off, and I mean, I
32:59
get it because it's her reputation that's being called to question, and she doesn't
33:02
like that this is being outed like this because I don't know about you,
33:07
but maybe Michelle is a little bit Republican. Maybe she is a little bit
33:12
like center, you know, Rye or whatever, and maybe she didn't want
33:15
that to get out because I mean, if she's saying any I don't know,
33:17
I'm not insinuating anything she says she's not a Republican, or are we
33:21
casting judgments about either, or we don't talk on this podcast. I don't
33:25
give a shit. It's just she's very defensive about it. And I understand
33:30
it because, like Zach said, being a Republican in LA is social suicide
33:34
and it's like really taboo and like you better hide forever under the rocks if
33:38
you are an actual Republican. So it's just like I get it. But
33:42
she's a little too defensive, is what I'm trying to say. She is
33:45
defensive, but it also feels to me like she knows what's going to happen
33:49
at the dinner, so she doesn't really have to have a meaningful conversation with
33:52
Kristin because she's already setting Kristin up for the confrontation that's going to come.
33:57
I believe personally that she's already talked to Jen and I already talked to Jasmine,
34:00
and they're going to as a group confront Kristin. This is the takedown
34:06
of Kristen, and Michelle is a part of it, so that's why she's
34:08
being cold. So then everybody sits down for this beautiful, sophisticated dinner that
34:15
they all had to serve themselves, and fairly quickly the issue pops off because
34:21
I think Kristin can hear Janet and Brittany talking shit across the table, and
34:25
I think she says something like is this really appropriate to be discussing at dinner?
34:30
And then Janet just starts popping off, and she's like, well,
34:31
why don't we just talk about this because apparently at a party where I was
34:36
not things were attributed to me and I didn't actually say them. And Michelle's
34:40
like, yeah, let's just talk about it in public since we were talking
34:44
about it in public before. And so this is where Janet says, I
34:49
heard that you told Michelle that I called her a racist and a Republican,
34:55
and Kristin immediately says, that's not from me, that's from Zach. Zach
35:00
like I never said that, and it lies. And then Kristin like was
35:04
shocked because that's supposed to be like one of her very best friends yea,
35:07
And if Zach actually said that to her in that moment, he should have
35:12
owned it. But because he didn't, Janet goes on to say, I
35:15
don't believe you, Kristin, because Jasmine said it didn't happen, and Zach
35:17
said it didn't happen, and I know I didn't say it, so I
35:21
think you're lying, and Kristen starts getting really upset. This is where Jesse
35:27
then starts to get involved, and he calls out Kristin for straight up lying.
35:32
He calls her a liar, and he's doing it in a very aggressive
35:37
way. Luke immediately is like, calm down, Yeah, like maybe you
35:40
can say the things that you want to say. We can have this conversation,
35:44
we can work it out, but like bring your energy all the way
35:45
down, and Jesse just says, don't tell me to fucking calm down in
35:50
my own house, okay, whatever, And then everybody's telling each other to
35:54
like shut the fuck up, and Luke's telling him to shut the fuck up.
35:57
He's telling Luke to shut the fuck up. And then at some point
35:59
though, so Jesse actually tells Kristin to shut the fuck up because Kristen's trying
36:04
to defend herself and trying to apologize a little bit. Right, Yeah,
36:08
actually I skipped right over that because after Janet said what she said, she's
36:12
like, yeah, let me take this opportunity to apologize, because I never
36:15
should have said any of that. It shouldn't have happened the way it did,
36:19
and I'm really sorry. But that's when Jesse calls her a liar,
36:22
and then him and Luke start going into it, and then he tells Kristin
36:25
to shut the fuck up when Kristin is trying to defend herself. And when
36:30
he tells Kristen to shut the fuck up, that's when Luke stands up and
36:35
right or wrong, And as I said, I feel like he's a basic
36:37
guy. But the fact that he's standing up and he's saying, let's take
36:40
this outside, you short, little fucking munchkin punk, let me show you
36:45
what's up outside, I think is respectable. Yeah, and Jesse says,
36:50
just sit down. He's not going to get up, he's not going to
36:52
fight. He's a pretty boy. He doesn't want to fight. Of course,
36:53
after that, I think we have Nia a little bit defending Kristen,
36:58
and in Nia's interstitial to the camera, she's like, she's trying to apologize.
37:02
Yeah, nobody's listening to her, nobody's giving her the benefit of the
37:06
doubt. To the table, Nia is saying like what everybody else is thinking,
37:10
which is this is the game of telephone. Obviously, Janet said something
37:15
to Jasmine, Jasmine said something to Zach, Zach said something to Kristen,
37:19
and by the time it got to Kristin it's been all distorted. But like
37:22
she's trying to apologize, but no, it's not good enough. And because
37:25
everybody's talking, this is when Jesse slams down his hand and he's like,
37:30
everybody, shut the fuck up and listen to Michelle. Yeah, like a
37:34
fucking loser. Yeah, he's so ridiculous, like at his sophisticated dinner,
37:37
fucking yeah, acting a fool like that, and he's like trying to do
37:42
it to like defend his wife, but it's like, no, you're being
37:45
an asshole. And then I think Michelle tries to say something because he's like,
37:49
shut the fuck up. Michelle's like, I'm not a racist, I'm
37:52
not a Republican or something. And then we have Jesse saying Kristen's ruining live,
37:59
trying to ruin their lives. Yeah, yes, and cuts off Michelle
38:00
as she's trying to talk. Though we toldbody to shut up so that she
38:05
could talk, Yes, and then he brings up Kristin being thrown off of
38:09
VPR for racism. Right, you're the race. Yeah, you know,
38:13
they were just that was in their back pocket. They were just waiting to
38:16
put that card on the table. And by the way, fair play,
38:22
I guess, because the fact of the matter is that Kristin was thrown off
38:25
of VPR for racist behavior. And I don't know if you know the story
38:30
of that. I don't know if we talked about I think we probably have
38:32
talked about it a little bit. Wasn't it something she said on social media
38:36
or something? No, Actually, her and Stossy, who used to be
38:38
on vander Pump Rules called the police on this girl name Faith, Oh okay,
38:45
and she's a person of color. And they called the police and they
38:49
tried to implicate her in some sort of a robbery or in some sort of
38:52
a theft, of course, which Faith had nothing to do. With and
38:55
also Faith was like former military served our country, was kind of a stand
39:00
up person, although she did sleep with Jax while Jacks was with Brittany,
39:04
so I mean, how stand up Bush she But they did it in a
39:07
way that put Faith at risk as a person of color, because police and
39:12
people of color, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So when
39:15
this all came out, which I think was shortly after George Floyd, I
39:19
think Faith came out to the media and said, oh, by the way,
39:22
this happened to me on vander Pump Rules, and it was absolutely racially
39:24
motivated. And then Stacy and Kristen were fired on the basis of racism.
39:31
And then Jax, who I think was peripherally involved in some way, was
39:36
not fired immediately, but I think a year later he was let go,
39:38
although they did not attribute that to racism directly, although the fandom knew that
39:44
that was part of the reason. Plus he's just a toxic asshole. So
39:46
this is something Kristin actually did. Yeah, okay, and so she paid
39:52
the price as far as she's concerned. She lost her job and she lost
39:54
her livelihood. And as Kristin is talking on the couch, she sort of
40:00
sharing how that all affected her, how she was canceled, how it was
40:05
the hardest time of her life, and you know, she doesn't want to
40:07
be labeled as anything much less as a racist, and the fact that her
40:13
friends are using the lowest time of her life in a moment like this is
40:17
really hurtful. Yeah. But I'm like, well, if you're gonna sit
40:21
at somebody's party and you're gonna bring up that this person who's hosting the party
40:24
was called a racist by somebody, yeah, you're opening the door right to
40:28
further critique on your nature and your behavior. Like how do you not know
40:31
that at forty years old, Kristen? Right, I mean, get it
40:35
together and like part that's why I said earlier in this episode, like how
40:37
do you not know the kind of friend groups that you're in already, like
40:40
and the kind of scene that you're in. All these people are gonna talk
40:44
shit about you. They're gonna throw you under the bus because you're not actually
40:46
their loyal friend, Like they don't give a fuck. I don't think anybody
40:50
actually gives a fuck about anybody. Same thing on VPR. It's kind of
40:52
like that same dynamic where everybody's out for their own selves. So I kind
40:59
of felt for a little bit because she's like sad because she's getting called out
41:01
for being canceled, and she's like, I thought I was over this,
41:04
and I've already apologized and I've paid the price and blah blah blah. But
41:07
at the same time, you fuck around and find out you opened your mouth.
41:10
You shouldn't have made that social faux pas. No, yeah, I
41:14
mean, but like you're creating an environment where that can happen to somebody else
41:19
exactly who doesn't, by all intents and purposes, deserve it, unlike you,
41:23
who actually did something objectively that was quite wrong and seemingly racially motivated.
41:29
So like, why, after you've been through it and allegedly learned from your
41:32
mistake, Like, why are you trying to drag somebody else into that situation?
41:36
Right? And Kristen is upset at this point, and she's concerned because
41:39
she doesn't know whether this is now going to open a can of worms.
41:44
Is this going to be an ongoing discussion throughout the first season of The Valley.
41:47
I'm sure that's what she's thinking. And she's worried about how this is
41:51
going to impact her and her reputation. Well, like you just said,
41:54
fuck around and find out you should just be the last person who should be
41:59
the bone collector or the bone carrier on issues of racism, right, kristin
42:04
exact period, point blank period. It should not come from you, Yep,
42:07
exactly. So those whole thing is a big old fucking mess. Yeah,
42:10
everybody's pissed off at each other for all of this. I wonder if
42:14
we'll see the resolution next episode, because it says to be continued. I
42:17
know, but that's what they said last time, and they didn't show us
42:20
the footage. I swear to god, if we have somebody going to a
42:22
fucking farmer's market or something in the next episode downloading us as to what happened
42:25
in the rest of that conversation, I'm gonna be met. I really just
42:29
want Jesse to be basically as just like Garrick friends seeking. I hate to
42:35
go there, but I just can't stand him so much. Easy's a misogynist.
42:39
I know, he's such an awful person to his wife. He's an
42:43
awful person to women. I know he's terrible. He's awful. He's just
42:46
an awful person. Yeah, Oh God, and I just really hate that
42:51
he's the one that's taking Kristen to task in a valid way. It should
42:53
be somebody else with integrity. But like we're here, whatever, why don't
42:58
we talk about it? It's the same show, Jack, So it's just
43:00
like it. Did you notice how quiet Jax was because and I say again,
43:05
I think Jax was peripherally involved in the situation or the incident that took
43:08
Kristin out for racism. Yep, he's got to get But he's also not
43:12
defending her at all because nobody cares about anybody. Is the only one I
43:16
know who's defending her. And like, even if Kristin was super out of
43:20
line, Like if we're in a social situation and somebody's getting dogpiled on,
43:24
yeah, I'm going to jump in. I don't even care if I don't
43:28
know you that much, right, I'm going to jump in and be like,
43:30
back the fuck off. Everybody being ridiculous, Right, Nina is the
43:34
only person besides Luke who does that for Kristin. Jacks has known Kristin longer
43:38
than anybody at that table I know, and they've shared a lot, including
43:43
their parts. He should have said something, Yeah, they should have but
43:47
this is La. These are fake ass people. Nobody cares about anybody not
43:52
going to say nothing. It was a big shit show. I know it
43:53
was a huge ash, but I enjoyed it me too. And we will
43:57
be back next to continue our cover of the valley. Is there any final
44:01
thought that you have for this episode? I just hope we get the resolution.
44:06
I just want to see the rest of the fights. That's all.
44:08
We do. See Michelle and Kristen fighting in a hallway. So I think
44:14
this issue is not going to be put to rest. I think it's going
44:15
to stay with us through the entire season. It's probably going to boil over
44:20
like it's just going to keep boiling throughout the season. And I think Janet
44:22
is just waiting for an opportunity to stick the knife in with Kristin, And
44:27
honestly, I think Kristin feels the same way about Janet. I don't think
44:30
Kristin likes Janet at all. Totally yeah, totally good stuff. That makes
44:35
for a great show. I know. For Raccoons, des An gosh,
44:39
well, is there anything else that we need to say to these beautiful raccoons?
44:44
Beatris Well, if you love our podcast, you on your favorite podcast
44:49
platform and leave us a glowing five star review. Thanks so much, it
44:52
really helps us girl the pod really appreciate it. And until next time when
44:57
we return with Seeking Sister Wife, which we covered the beginning of the week,
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which is really wild and wonderful. Please do not forget that we have
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nothing but love for you, and please bye bye Gays.