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155. INSOMNIA · The Shift Podcast

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  Welcome to The Shift podcast where you get to hear life
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  coaching tools that will help you make small or big shifts in
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  your life, feel better doing it, and learn to create the life you
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  love with confidence. You will also get to hear
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  interviews with some of my clients who've utilized life
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  coaching to help them manage their mind and create really big
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  things for themselves. Come find out how you can be
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  intentional about your thinking, feel better every day, and
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  create anything you want in life.
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  And come join us inside The Shift.
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  Hey guys, welcome to episode 155 of The Shift podcast.
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  I'm titling the name of this podcast episode, Insomnia.
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  And this week I just felt really compelled to talk to you guys
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  about what I've been struggling with and what's been going on my
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  head in my head and the process I've been like walking myself
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  through as I'm struggling with insomnia and what I've been
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  talking to my coach about. And so I can just like kind of
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  just you guys can have a inside view of how I handle obstacles
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  and how I deal with my feelings around those and how I bring
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  myself back into a higher value cycle in them.
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  So because I think sometimes we look at our coaches or we look
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  at people and we're like, they're not struggling with
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  anything. It's just, so I thought it would
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  be really worthwhile for you guys to see into my brain a
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  little bit of how I process some of these emotions and how I
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  process some things that I am struggling with.
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  So I'm going to talk to you about insomnia a little bit this
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  week. And usually I have like points
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  of what I'm going to talk about, but I only have 3 little words
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  written down today. So I'm going to try to stay on
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  track and just be really honest with you about my thought
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  process as I've been working through not sleeping at night.
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  So this started about, gosh, a week ago now, I guess about a
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  week and a half ago, I came off of this awesome trip to Fiji and
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  Australia. It's a 16 hour time difference.
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  I've been so good honestly in my life of flipping back into days
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  and nights because I worked night shift for all the years
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  that I was a nurse and if I wasn't working night shift I was
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  working 24 hour shifts. 7 years of that as a flight nurse.
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  So I really kind of knew how to navigate. 1, being able to go on
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  very little sleep and still function and then two, just like
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  flipping myself back into the day and I felt like I was always
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  really good at that. But what happened post this trip
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  is we we're 16 hours ahead there.
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  We flew all night long and then we came back and I decided even
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  though I was up for like 30 hours, I'm just going to nap
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  because it was already afternoon time here.
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  And I decided I'm just going to nap for two hours.
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  And then I'm going to get up and try to go to sleep that night
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  because I'm going to be so exhausted.
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  So I did that. Meanwhile, my husband and my
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  daughter, they continued to sleep throughout the day and it
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  took them a couple days to flip back in, but I did sleep really
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  well that night. But then I got up at like 3:00
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  AM the next morning. And then since then like 8 days
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  past this, what has happened is I have been completely fine
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  during the day. In fact I haven't even been
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  tired during the day. I've been normal and functioning
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  and then at night I have not been able to sleep until like
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  3:00 or 4:00 AM and I've been get only getting like 3 or 4
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  hours of sleep. And I'm noticing a little bit it
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  is kind of getting to me and then I'm overthinking how much
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  I'm not sleeping and then I'm asking myself it might be a
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  little bit neurotic. And I know that some of you guys
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  listening can totally already relate to what I'm talking about
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  because I know I have some shift workers here and I know I have
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  some night shift workers here. And I know sleeping at night is
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  hard for some of you guys. So I'm going to take you through
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  this big obstacle that I've been facing of insomnia and how I've
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  been kind of like working myself through it to bring myself back
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  up. So the first thing when I really
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  noticed that this was a problem last week is I noticed that my
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  brain was spinning in confusion and overwhelm a lot more than
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  normal. Now, usually this does happen to
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  me, but I'm able to bring myself out of it so quickly.
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  So when I recognized it about day four that I was starting to
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  spin in a little bit of confusion, indulging in
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  overwhelm and indulging and worrying, I told myself, I know
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  that I do not make big decisions when I am tired or when I am in
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  confused or spinning or overwhelmed.
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  So I just told myself last week, I'm not going to make any big
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  decisions. If I haven't made any decision
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  by this point, I'm not going to make any big decisions this
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  week. So that was step one.
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  One thing that I want to offer you guys is when you know that
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  you're suffering from either being tired or you're spinning
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  or you're an overwhelm or you're having like this really big
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  reaction to something, decide that you're not going to make
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  any big decisions. That will just take a lot off
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  your plate. When I decided that, I was like,
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  OK, I'm just going to go through the motions right now and I'm
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  not going to make any big decisions.
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  So that was #1 what I told myself that I wanted to do #2
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  one thing that I have really, really been practicing is at the
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  point where I, it was like day three and I was like, this is
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  not going to go away for a while.
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  One thing that I've been practicing on a daily since then
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  is just connect to what you need.
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  So I've been asking myself in the small moments, what is it
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  that I need in this moment? What is it that I need in this
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  very hour? And sometimes it's been OK,
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  maybe I need to drink a little bit caffeine.
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  Sometimes it's been OK. You need to go on a 2, two mile
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  walk. That's usually what I try to do
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  every day. Sometimes it's like you need to
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  just go out and get some sunshine.
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  You need to drink some more water.
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  You need to nourish yourself by eating good food.
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  And then the second part to this is not only like connecting to
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  what you need and asking yourself what you need, but also
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  being willing to follow through with whatever that action is.
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  So I know when I'm spinning and overwhelm and confusion, I'm
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  always trying to fulfill everybody else's needs.
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  I noticed last week I was really trying to fulfill my kids needs
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  and their feelings and my husband and my friends and my
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  family. And I'm not usually, I don't
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  usually go into a people pleaser, but I noticed doing
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  that a little bit. So that's where I've like kind
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  of made the plan when I'm in the state or a state where I know
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  it's not normal for me, I just have to connect to what I need.
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  And it's very simple. It's just asking yourself, what
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  do I need in this moment? And then being willing to follow
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  through with whatever that action is that it tells you.
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  First, the last piece of this that I wanted to share with you
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  guys as I navigate it, some insomnia and this struggle right
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  now is being willing to ask for help.
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  I think vulnerability is a big thing and sometimes when we're
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  in this state of not knowing and knowing that we're not like in a
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  really valuable state for ourselves, asking for help is
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  the hardest thing that we can do.
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  I think sometimes that's really difficult for people who I know
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  can relate to that or people like me.
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  And so the third thing that I really lean into is I ask for
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  help. So today I'm going to give you a
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  little view of what I talked to my one-on-one coach with.
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  So shout out to Claire if she was listening.
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  Claire's my mindset coach. I meet with her every week for
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  an hour, one-on-one with her. And I told her, listen, Clara,
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  these are my set of circumstances.
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  I said I have a lot of hard things going on this year.
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  I have a couple kids moving out. I have one coming home back into
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  the country. Then I got to move him to school
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  and I was just listing out like all of these hard things that I
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  have going on. And she's like, OK, she goes.
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  So what is this story that you want to keep?
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  Do you want to keep the story that for the next year, you want
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  to trudge up this uphill climb on the bicycle, pedaling really
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  hard with this heavy backpack, and it'd be hard.
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  Do you want to keep that story? And I'm like, oh, I did not even
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  realize that I was telling myself, this is going to be
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  hard. This is my circumstances, this
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  is going to be hard. And saying it over and over and
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  over again and pedaling uphill. She goes, you can choose to keep
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  that story if you want, but time's going to pass anyway.
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  And all these things are going to happen.
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  So what is the story that you want to have?
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  And I was like, oh, the story I want to have is one of being
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  empowered, one of being like, yeah, I can do hard things, and
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  hard things are there for me and I am willing to go through the
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  hard. And then we just started this,
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  like, rampage of why I desire to do the hard thing, why I desire
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  to not pedal uphill anymore, why I desire to let go of that
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  story, and why I desire to be the person who does that.
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  And I started out with the simple thought of asking myself,
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  why do I desire to do these things and have the at and, and
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  do the hard. And I started out with the
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  thought of most people aren't willing to feel the hard, but I
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  am. And then that led me to, I'm
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  willing to feel the emotion. And then I signed up for this.
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  This is what it's like to be alive and I'm good at it.
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  And you guys, these are the thoughts that I used as a flight
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  nurse too, is, is these slots right here.
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  And So what I want to offer you is when you ask for help,
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  especially when you have a coach who can see things a little bit
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  differently than you, you realize all these beliefs are
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  there for you. You just haven't been willing to
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  access them yet. So what is the first belief that
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  I have to be willing to believe when it had to come to doing the
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  hard things instead of like this is going to be hard.
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  I, I chose to lean into why do I want to do the hard?
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  And then I just let the the emotion come and I let the the
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  answer slowly and freely come out of me.
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  And it was, most people aren't willing to feel the hard, but I
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  am. And then I just kept going with
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  my answer from there. And I think like some of you
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  guys are getting stuck in the wrong question because my
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  question I kept asking myself is why does this have to be hard?
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  Why does this have to be hard versus the question needs to be
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  like, why do I want to do the hard?
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  And so we also came to the thought of if I'm not going to
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  sleep for forever, long it takes for me to overcome this insomnia
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  and this jet lag, how do I want to navigate not sleeping?
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  And my answer is, I want to become the person who can just
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  do it. I want to become the person who
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  can navigate 3 hours of sleep. And hopefully, and I really do
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  believe it's not always going to be like this, but I know that I
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  can do it and I know I'm that person.
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  And so I want to offer you guys this three-step process that I
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  took myself through as I'm real time going through this
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  struggle. One, don't make any big
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  decisions when you know that you are struggling or you're facing
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  an obstacle that is going to require you to feel a deep
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  emotion. 2 Connect with what you need in the moment. 3 Be willing
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  to ask for help. That doesn't have to be a coach.
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  If it's a coach, great, because I think coaches can see things
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  that you can't. But be willing to ask a friend,
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  ask a family member, ask a coach, ask a therapist, be
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  willing to ask for help. And then when you can overcome
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  that struggle, which I really it was just a decision today to
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  decide. I no longer want to look at it
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  as an uphill climb. Like I want to let go of that
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  story. So now I'm just deciding I'm the
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  person who can do the hard. Then from that empowered place
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  of where I want to be, I'm going to make some big decisions.
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  And now I'm ready to, I'm ready to be like, hey, if I'm going to
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  have insomnia for as long as it needs to be here, I am ready to
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  from an empowered place, make some big decisions.
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  So I hope this was helpful for you guys as I like take you
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  through my process of how I navigate obstacles, how I
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  navigate struggles. I feel empowered you guys.
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  Now after really deciding, and this is taking practice.
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  I was talking to my flight prep Academy group today and I was
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  telling them the story of this and how I had to decide to make
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  this identity change. And the reason why I'm so good
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  at flipping when obstacles come up is because I practice it.
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  This is a muscle and a weight that I have practiced.
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  At first it took me a long time to ask myself the right
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  questions and then come up with the answers.
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  But now I can flip myself into a different identity because I
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  practice it for so long. So practice asking yourself the
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  right question. So instead of why does this have
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  to be hard for me, ask yourself how am I the person who can
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  handle the hard? Give yourself 50 reasons of why
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  and when you can become that person who becomes better at it,
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  it's going to come to a lot quicker.
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  You're going to be more practiced at it.
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  You're going to be able to flip it and go to empowered from
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  disempowered to empowered very quickly.
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  I hope that this was helpful this week talking to you real
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  time about a struggle that I'm facing.
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  And I want to invite you guys for those of you guys who are
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  ready to do this work to declutter your brain, manage
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  your mind, show up more confidently to this life and
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  feel alive. Come join us inside the shift.
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  This is the work that we are doing every week and every day
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  inside the community group chat. Join us inside the shift.
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  You can find the link in my bio and I'll see all of you guys
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  there. We'll see you next week.
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  Bye. If anything in this episode
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  sparked your interest in learning to manage your mind and
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  feel better to create confidence in your life, come join the
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  shift. We are an entire community that
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  meets together on a weekly basis with an ongoing group chat.
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  You can click on the link to join in the show notes or DM me
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  on Instagram. I hope to see all of you guys
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  inside.