Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 26. Cindy Bachop on figuring out how to give yourself the permission to pause

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26. Cindy Bachop on figuring out how to give yourself the permission to pause · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

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  We can bring our best selves and it's because we've given
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  ourselves permission to pause. Then if you show up as your best
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  self, that's when we change the world and pause that is our
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  topic for today's episode. Hello, I'm Andrea bar.
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  I'm your host of the all figured out podcast and if you've been
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  following along here for a bit, you know, that it's no secret
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  that I aim to support and serve. All you high-performing working,
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  parents out there we Usually talk about setting big goals,
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  crushing them how to push boundaries and limits being the
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  most organized version of yourself and that sort of thing.
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  Today, we're going to be exploring and tackling all of
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  that. But actually through a lens that
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  might sound counterintuitive to you and that is through pausing
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  more specifically, how and why to give yourself the permission
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  to pause leading Us in this charge is my guest for today,
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  Cindy back up, Cindy has had an incredible 30 plus Your career
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  where she is facilitated learning experiences of all
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  kinds in both the public and nonprofit, sectors.
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  She's the founder of Boom spiral facilitation where she's now
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  opened up her knowledge and gift for creating connection and
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  experiences to the general public versus just working
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  within organizations. And just only being able to
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  serve the folks who were in the organization that she worked in
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  one of the ways that she does this now is through workshops
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  for women who want to reduce overwhelm and create new habits
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  to feel calm. And vibrant interviewing Cindy
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  was akin to just getting a great big hug.
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  That's the best way I could describe it.
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  She is equal parts, sweet calming and Incredibly well
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  researched in her approach. So she's just the whole package
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  deal and I actually don't want to spoil any more about what we
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  get into in this conversation. So just tuned in, have a cup of
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  tea or something common go on a really nice walk outside and
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  just let yourself connect to exploring.
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  Why you Give yourself the permission to pause.
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  You're listening to the all figured out podcast.
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  I'm your host Aundrea bar. As a career coach for parents, a
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  mom, an entrepreneur. And someone who spent ten plus
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  years in the corporate world, I still don't have it all figured
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  out and maybe you don't. Either this podcast, I'll share
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  tools and strategies that I use as my clients and in the many
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  areas where I don't have things figured out.
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  I'll be bringing you some amazing guest experts to help us
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  fill in the gaps. So tune in each week as we
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  explore how to make career and life decisions that truly work
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  for you, your family and your big goals.
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  Let's make moves. Cindy back up.
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  Thank you so much for joining me on the all figured out podcast.
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  I was just telling you how excited I am to speak with you
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  today. I think that our audience is
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  going to get just infinite amounts of value and wisdom from
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  what you have to say. So thank you for agreeing to
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  come on the show, but if you hungry, I've been looking so
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  forward to this and I am absolutely honored to be
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  invited. So thank you for having me.
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  Oh my goodness. Okay, well, let's get into it
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  for the audience to get to know you.
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  You have a really cool story. Could you share with us too?
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  Bit about the career and I'll even throw in the Life Journey
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  because we know they're one in the same that led you to become
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  so inspired to do the work that you do and specifically around,
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  you know, granting oneself the permission to pause.
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  How did you get into that? Mmm, that's a great question.
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  So I my career Journey actually started with a bike, a box and a
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  suitcase if we want to go all the way back to the beginning.
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  I I was a graduate of the Commerce program at the
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  University of Alberta and lived in Edmonton.
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  And at that time, the economy was in a downturn and I had
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  aspirations to move to Victoria and I had a dad who was a real
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  enabler and he said, okay let's get you out there.
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  I had a total of eight hundred dollars to my name and had this
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  idea I was going to move to another city and He worked in a
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  distribution center in Edmonton, had a very best friend who was a
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  truck driver and used to do the route from Edmonton to Vancouver
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  in an 18-wheel truck. And then I've got my first start
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  in into the BC economy by loading myself.
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  My bike, my box of my suitcase up on an 18-wheel truck taking
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  the two-day Journey out to Vancouver had it Friend bring me
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  over to Victoria. Haven't looked back since.
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  And at that time, I took the first step I could get which was
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  in working on reception desk at a hotel, making minimum wage and
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  about five weeks into that. I'm like, I can't afford to stay
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  here. I can't afford my rent.
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  I can't afford the cost of living.
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  And so I decided I was going to land myself a job with the
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  public service. Here in Victoria because I done
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  an internship at the Alberta public service and thought I had
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  related experience. So I had the names of some
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  people to follow up with and try and reach out and contact.
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  And there was one director who worked in the exact line of work
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  that I had experienced in. And so I knocked on the door and
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  tried to get in and he was very busy and you can see one of my
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  staff members but I'm too busy to meet with you and I met One
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  of his staff members learned a whole bunch about the priority
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  projects, they were working on went back.
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  Try to meet with the executive director and he said no his
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  secretary was was the gatekeeper and no, I'm sorry, he's in
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  meetings and I said, okay, that's great.
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  I'll wait and I stayed in that reception area and waited until
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  he came out from his from his meeting that he was in.
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  He saw me sitting there had a good chuckle invited me in.
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  We sat and talked for 45 minutes because now I had all this
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  information about the priority project from speaking with his
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  staff and landed the job. And so from that point on my
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  career really was primarily with the DC public service and I
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  think a lot of people don't realize this but when you're in
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  the public service, it is one employer.
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  But the Eternity for variety is fantastic.
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  And so I had a varied and very interesting career working
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  mainly in the policy area, and working everything, from
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  economic policy, to education policy to purchasing policy to
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  sport policy, Arts policy. It was a fantastic journey of a
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  career. And one of the threads that Move
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  throughout the experience was Whenever there was an
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  opportunity to lead a meeting or to gain some experience in how
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  to design experiences for people specifically learning
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  experiences or a planning journey.
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  I was always the first to kind of put my hand up to take on
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  that added task and more and more, Iris.
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  Leave feedback that this was something that that added value
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  to the organization. And so, from that point forward,
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  I started to find opportunities for myself and so many of the
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  jobs that I had over the course of my career were not jobs that
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  I applied for so much, as problems that I could offer to
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  be a solution for. And so that's kind of in a
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  nutshell. The Ernie.
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  I was on the parallel life Journey, was that of a single
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  individual, starting my career, and then going through the
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  Journey of meeting the love of my life, we got married, we
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  started a family and I began the Journey of Being a career public
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  servant and managing what? I believed to be my most
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  important job which is to raise our two young girls with my
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  husband. And that was when I really
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  started to feel the challenges of Playing by the rules in a
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  workplace that was predominantly built or on a model of kind of a
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  post-war era. Were assuming everyone in the
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  workplace is male, and they've got a wife at home making their
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  dinner. And if you're going to come into
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  this, workplace, you need to play by these rules.
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  Leave the other parts of yourself at the door and just be
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  an employee while you're here. And I found that that That was a
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  real challenge because there were so many other parts of me
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  pulling at me for my attention. Whether it was my role, as a
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  parent or my role, as a support to aging parents, all of those
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  roles and but being a good employee that I was, I pulled up
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  my bootstraps and played by the rules and and Did what I
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  expected. I was did, what I thought was
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  expected of me in the workplace and eventually over time, it all
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  came to a head. And what I found was that I was
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  experiencing a unique type of stress that since that time,
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  I've been able to put a name to it and it was called pipey
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  stress which is very common to women and it's the Stress of
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  trying to be everyone. Everything to everyone all at
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  the same time, with all of those roles that we play.
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  So I did add a certain point in my career with everything that
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  was going on and several life events.
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  I reached a point burnout, I could not manage all of those
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  roles in an environment that expected me to.
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  We show up with one and so I with the support of several
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  caregivers finally gave myself permission to step away, take
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  leave from work. And that was the start of a
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  whole new Learning Journey for me, where I really explored,
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  what was that disconnect between?
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  Who I am fully as a mom and Lloyd partner, a daughter, a
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  sister, a neighbor, all of those roles, why was there?
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  Such a disconnect in this area of my career where I was trying
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  to establish myself and be successful.
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  So there is a whole that Learning Journey that takes
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  place from there, but I'll pause here and just invite Any
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  questions or there's anything. That's not clear.
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  No, that's a that's a beautiful story.
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  Cindy, thank you for sharing that because I think there's
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  people who are on all parts of their Journey who are listening
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  and I am sure resonate with you know each and every aspect in
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  some way of the journey that you've been on.
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  Wow I'm I'm just sitting here thinking about, you know, the
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  wisdom that you're that, you're being able to share.
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  And I guess the first question that comes to mind would be.
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  Would you do anything? And if you were to go back to
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  that person who was realizing something, doesn't feel great
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  here, I feel like I'm starting to juggle, you know, that moment
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  where you said you pulled up, your bootstraps went back into
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  the organization, you were the good employee, would you change
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  anything or would you give advice to anybody?
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  Who might be in entering into that phase right now?
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  Such a great question because I think that brings me to the Crux
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  of why I've chosen to do this work now and the The, the
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  workshop series that I deliver, which is called permission to
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  pause, is exactly that. It's me, looking back at, who I
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  was in, especially during those active parenting years and
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  saying to anyone coming behind me, let me share this journey so
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  that you can learn from my experience, you can help move
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  the dial and a bald, the workplace.
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  So that it Is more holistic and welcoming and healthy for all of
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  us and that is not gender-specific whatsoever.
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  I mean, I come to this through the lens as a working mom.
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  But anything you do to evolve that workplace to be more
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  inclusive, is, is going to be beneficial for all of us.
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  I have Goosebumps. I think I had this just light
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  bulb that went off around. How often?
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  I post questions in this platform or just a life about,
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  you know, what can you do to make your own life better?
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  Or how could I do this to make my life better by what you were
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  just saying, as well as the work that you're doing is also for
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  our community? Like if we're all in the
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  workflow, if a bunch of us are in the workforce right now or
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  you're listening and you're in the workforce, guess ask the
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  question around. What can you do to make the
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  current situation better for yourself?
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  Of course but also how can you be then transcending that to
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  your Leaks to the workplace. Like, how can we be evolving
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  this? So we don't keep having to
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  isolate and solve this little problem.
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  Just for me like, that's a huge, huge such a good point, ondrea
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  and the interesting point, and I certainly believe this after my
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  Learning Journey that I've been on, is that in order to make
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  that difference for the others, in our community, it starts with
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  us and it really starts with if we don't give ourselves Elves
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  permission to pause. There's actually more at stake
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  than we realize, there's more at stake for us and our own
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  well-being. And we've heard a lot about that
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  during covid. I think to the point where
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  people are like, yeah, self-care, I get it, but if we
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  really dig deeper under it, it is first about taking care of
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  ourselves. Secondly, it's about modeling
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  that or our families for the people in our Circles of
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  influence to Them permission to pause because they see you doing
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  it. And then when we bring that
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  permission to ourselves and really take care of ourselves,
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  we then are actually bringing our best selves to anything.
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  We're passionate about, whether it's our careers, where we
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  volunteer again, contributing to our community, even as we show
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  up as parents, we can bring our best selves.
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  Eggs and it's because we've given ourselves permission to
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  pause. Then if you show up as your best
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  self, that's when we change the world, that's when you see
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  people stepping into their full zone of Genius, bringing their
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  gifts to serve the world but it all starts because they gave
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  themselves permission to pause and I really truly believe that
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  I have. I have seen it in so many people
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  in my Communities. I feel like I'm on that Journey
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  myself every time I'm grinding on something that's very
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  difficult. And I stop and say, wait a
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  minute, this flies in the face of what I'm trying to share with
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  other people, and I do pause, I end up showing up in such a
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  better way. I have so much more flow in the
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  things that I, you know, turn my attention to, I get so much.
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  Much inspiration, and creativity all from that permission to
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  pause. And I can talk a little bit more
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  actually about the science behind that, it's quite yes.
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  Okay, what is it? I mean, it sounds like it's on
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  the nose permission Applause. We know has something to do with
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  pausing. I love that.
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  You said yeah, everyone's like self-care.
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  Yeah, I got it, but dig into it for me.
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  What is it? What does it mean to you?
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  How does it work? The science.
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  I mean, I know you've got just we could talk for probably hours
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  on this. Give me the skinny.
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  Yeah. So, what's interesting is just
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  going back to that type East, rest that I had reference, as I
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  said, earlier, I was kind of struggling, like why, why is
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  this not working for me? Like why, as a, as a mom and a
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  daughter, like think of all the rules that any one of us plays
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  at any given time and it finally got a name when I came across a
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  book that was written A long time ago.
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  Now, I think it was written in the 80s by a researcher.
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  By the name of Harriet breaker, she's a psychologist and she did
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  research on stress responses and she was looking at the
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  difference in stress responses between the genders between male
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  and female. And, again, I'll just put the
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  caveat in here that this was research, that was done in the
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  70s and 80s when most research was on that gender, binary
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  model. So, I am quoting the research
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  and also acknowledging that we don't have a lot of research yet
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  on the gender identity Spectrum. But Harriet Breakers, research
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  was actually looking at the definitions of our our stress
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  response in terms of the type, A type B.
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  And I don't know if you've heard reference to that but definitely
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  it was based on a male Search cohort that was really examined.
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  During in that post-war, 1950s 1960s era when men were coming
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  back from the battlefield, they got all the jobs women that went
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  back to the home, making roles at that time.
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  And so there was very little research that was done on women.
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  And particularly their stress response.
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  So, Harry breaker would interview men and interview
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  women about the stress. They were experiencing and how
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  they responded to it. And what she realized is that
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  women have a very unique response, which she titled Type
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  e stress. And it is that stress related to
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  trying to be everything to everyone all at the same time.
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  And the best description for this is dr.
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  Breaker would ask a male participant in her study?
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  How's it going? And his response would be based
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  generally on the situation he was in or the situation.
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  He was talking about at the time.
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  So if he were asked, how's it going?
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  And he was at work and he had just gotten a promotion, but
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  things are falling apart at home in the bay.
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  Baby had been up all night with colic, his answer would be
• 20:25
  great, things are going great, because he's looking at it in
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  through the lens of that particular role he's in at that
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  moment. When dr.
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  Breaker asked females, the female respondents, how's it
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  going? Almost universally.
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  They would answer with a response that reflected how
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  their entire life was balanced. So they would be thinking about
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  all of their roles at the same time if you can, imagine that
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  all of those roles would be little pie pieces on a plate.
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  And if that plate were being balanced on a skinny little
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  pedestal, like imagine a chopstick.
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  However, balanced or unbalanced that entire plate was would be
• 21:19
  her answer. So if she got a promotion at
• 21:22
  work but baby been up all night, you get you get a response like
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  yeah. So so you know, kind of tired, I
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  got the promotion. She was able to hold an
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  awareness of all of those rules, which is very helpful in a lot
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  of situations, but it can also lead to Are our stress response,
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  our anxiety response. And so, so that is the science
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  behind my further pursuit to say, okay?
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  How how do women Manage that because years later there was
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  further study done by a gentleman by the name of dr.
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  Ayman and he did bring Imaging research on men and women and he
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  saw the same effect between men and women.
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  But saw that women's Brains are generally more active in this.
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  Prefrontal cortex area of the brain, don't ask me to explain
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  it further. I'm not a brain scientist.
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  But in effect, what he was saying is, yes, he was
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  validating here at Breakers work.
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  And he was saying, yes, women's ability generally to carry that,
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  awareness of all of those roles and the world around them is now
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  called diffuse thinking, I don't think they had that term in
• 22:58
  Harry Breakers, day diffuse thinking, Whereas, if you're
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  thinking about just one specific role or one specific Topic at a
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  time, it's targeted thinking to be clear, both genders can
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  operate in those different types of thinking.
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  It's just that be mailed. Generally have a greater
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  propensity to this diffuse thinking and what that means is
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  it actually gives us A little bit more, I won't say capability
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  because everybody's able to do this but it has a greater
• 23:41
  propensity for us to bring empathy to a situation to Value
• 23:49
  diversity. In situations were also able to
• 23:53
  bring a greater sense of what they call it what they called in
• 24:00
  the in the search sober second thought he's the bility to go.
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  Okay. Before you take that step, let's
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  just let's just take a minute and think about all the other
• 24:08
  factors and also a greater sense of collaboration because if
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  you're thinking of your world in terms of that plate you might
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  come to a boardroom table and go but voices are missing at this
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  table, you've got that broader awareness.
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  And again this is not to say that men or people of any other
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  gender identity don't have that. It's just that we have the
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  greater propensity for that diffuse thinking we can be
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  targeted and focused in our thinking.
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  It takes just a little bit more effort and energy but we're all
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  able to do it. And so, the reason why I
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  referred to these two areas of research is because this Is the
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  argument for why we need to give ourselves permission to pause.
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  Because when we don't, because we have that, that ability for
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  diffuse, awareness for women. It also means that we then have,
• 25:20
  if it goes, unchecked higher propensity for anxiety
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  depression and overwhelm. Because that's what happens when
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  we're carrying all of our roles, all of that information, all of
• 25:36
  our concern, about the climate well-being, and our community,
• 25:41
  and our workplace, it can overwhelm us.
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  And the way that we manage that is to give ourselves permission
• 25:51
  to pause, to pull back from it to regroup and to fill our cups
• 25:57
  Wow, that is really fascinating. So fascinating, how that
• 26:04
  research might have? I wonder if that research not
• 26:06
  that we would potentially, no, but I don't have that research.
• 26:08
  Had it in a different intention that now we're realizing has so
• 26:15
  much more meaning and value to, you know, back then it was like,
• 26:17
  oh, how are men and women different?
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  I imagine that was more, the scientific question being posed,
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  who knows. But now, you know, we understand
• 26:25
  so much more around the application.
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  And life is just potentially more busy, and we're more
• 26:30
  distracted. And and what a huge application
• 26:33
  that is to, oh my goodness, this, this world that we live
• 26:36
  in. What do you think prevents us,
• 26:38
  especially as working parents, what you think prevents us from
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  taking that pause one of the blockers the barriers because I
• 26:45
  think we all know what's important.
• 26:46
  You hear that, you know in sports you know we should all be
• 26:49
  like the athlete and we should have the day off and we know it.
• 26:52
  But what is it that really gets in the way?
• 26:54
  Mmm. That's a great question as well.
• 26:57
  And I think there's a whole bunch of sort of cultural
• 27:00
  conditioning behind it. And there's also some very
• 27:05
  interesting research coming out around ideas, like the human
• 27:10
  Giver syndrome where we tie our identity and our Worth to how
• 27:17
  much we give to others. How much we produce, you know,
• 27:22
  are we get so many signals in the Lace about our worth is
• 27:28
  based on our productivity. So if you feel like you're and
• 27:33
  this might not even be a conscious decision but we have
• 27:38
  been given so many social and cultural signals as we grow up.
• 27:44
  As we enter the workplace that on what is valued and what is
• 27:48
  not. I mean, in most workplaces, you
• 27:52
  see Awards being given to people who Get fasted for how many
• 27:58
  hours they worked. How?
• 28:00
  Many times they stayed and worked overtime.
• 28:03
  And there's great stories about how they worked through the
• 28:05
  weekend and meet that deadline. We celebrate that productivity
• 28:10
  and that work ethic. And so to tell ourselves that we
• 28:15
  have permission to step away from that.
• 28:19
  First of all, we on some level may very well be Read about our
• 28:26
  value, losing our value in in the dynamic, of our
• 28:33
  relationships with others. And I think also, as parents,
• 28:38
  because we are responsible for other like, literally other
• 28:42
  lives, there is this sense that it will all fall apart.
• 28:48
  If I step back, I know, I know from my own experience that
• 28:54
  there were times where, I should have made that decision to step
• 29:00
  back and take a moment to pause, but I really believed that my
• 29:05
  whole world was a house of cards.
• 29:07
  And if, if I were to step away, would it would crumble to the
• 29:11
  ground? Oh my goodness.
• 29:14
  What are some tactical examples of what a pause could look like
• 29:18
  like, what? Cause look like in everyday
• 29:21
  life, you know, letting out your gear that look like.
• 29:25
  Yeah, that's great. Eight.
• 29:28
  I think there's a couple layers to it.
• 29:29
  I love the the second part of your question in terms of
• 29:32
  planning out your year, but I think before we even get to
• 29:40
  planning out our year, it starts with planning our day planning,
• 29:48
  even the next few hours. And in the permission to pause
• 29:53
  course, I actually have a kind of a framework that we use and
• 30:01
  it is based back on that idea of the plate balancing on the
• 30:06
  skinny, little Pinnacle if, if we were to think of that plate
• 30:11
  and the skinny little Pinnacle being What we currently give
• 30:16
  ourselves as self-care, it's no longer sustainable.
• 30:21
  We can't keep having this Tippy plate, so the framework that
• 30:25
  have introduced it to say first of all.
• 30:29
  Take a hard look at the plate and can you make it smaller?
• 30:32
  Can you make the plate a saucer and there's some tools that can
• 30:37
  be used around that and it really starts to get it
• 30:41
  unpacking our beliefs around our own contribution, to something
• 30:47
  that we might have on our plate and our own expectations of
• 30:53
  perfectionism from ourselves. There's a lot tied behind What
• 30:59
  we think we have on our to-do list and there's exercises that
• 31:04
  we go through, in terms of creative delegation where you
• 31:07
  can delegate it off to someone else in a way that they will
• 31:11
  thank you for it and it's a real paradigm shift because we in our
• 31:17
  sort of protestant work, ethic culture.
• 31:21
  We've been led to believe that if you can't do it by yourself,
• 31:25
  you must be failing. And if You ask for help, it's a
• 31:31
  weakness and there's so much of that behind what feels like they
• 31:36
  heavy load on our plate. So we spend and these are fun
• 31:40
  playful activities that we do in community to bring your plate
• 31:44
  down from that overloaded size to a manageable saucer-like,
• 31:49
  really looking at what can only be offloaded.
• 31:52
  And one of the other aspects of that is flexing are receiving
• 31:56
  muscle because in this, Culture where we're valued for doing
• 32:01
  things on our own and this goes back to when we were in school.
• 32:05
  I mean, if you got someone to help you with your homework,
• 32:09
  that was cheating not collaboration, that was
• 32:11
  cheating. So we really, we really have to
• 32:16
  undo a lot of subtle messages and generally speaking as women
• 32:24
  were not good at receiving help. And we can unpack that on
• 32:28
  another podcast but I think that also gets into how hard we often
• 32:35
  have to work and kind of a workplace and an economy that's
• 32:40
  been driven by a male-dominated lens women often have to work
• 32:45
  twice as hard to take up their rightful space and to achieve
• 32:51
  the goals that they've set for themselves.
• 32:53
  And so it's very Difficult often for us to ask for help and when
• 33:02
  it gets offered for us to actually receive it.
• 33:06
  And so in permission to pause, we practice that we practice
• 33:11
  rewiring our nervous system to receive and it's it's absolutely
• 33:17
  delightful and it's super fun. Oh my goodness.
• 33:22
  So I'm sorry. Go ahead.
• 33:23
  No, go ahead. No, no, I was gonna say it just
• 33:26
  sounds like Like, you know, the word that comes up as you're
• 33:28
  saying, that just sounds like Community is something that
• 33:32
  would be, what would be the word intention for us to start to
• 33:37
  really think about or just lean on?
• 33:40
  Could you tell me more about that?
• 33:42
  I know this is something that you're passionate about to and,
• 33:44
  you know, build during building and nurturing Community.
• 33:47
  How does that support us? How do you do that in this world
• 33:50
  room? Pretty isolated?
• 33:52
  Mmm, that's a great question. And that's the third component
• 33:56
  of the Of the framework. So the first being take the
• 33:59
  plate down to a saucer. The second is don't try and
• 34:05
  balance that saucer on a skinny little Pinnacle.
• 34:09
  Put a really deep and wide cup, underneath answer.
• 34:14
  And the cup is to represent all of the delightful things that we
• 34:19
  can do for ourselves in the course of a day.
• 34:23
  And we need to fill that cup all the time and draw draw from it,
• 34:27
  and fill it again. And so again, we go through some
• 34:31
  fun playful exercises in the program around, how do we fill
• 34:37
  that? How do we get back in touch with
• 34:40
  our younger? Selves knew exactly what sounded
• 34:43
  like, a fun thing to do. Or knew exactly how to fill
• 34:48
  their day with fun and pleasure and thus, feel energized.
• 34:51
  And so we do some playful activities and we also explore
• 34:55
  where the That'll leaks in that cup.
• 34:59
  You know the maybe the the social media that is draining
• 35:04
  our energy more than we think in the name of community or the
• 35:10
  toxic conversations we have that are too difficult for us right
• 35:15
  now and we may need to step back.
• 35:17
  There's all kinds of subtle drains on our energy and then
• 35:21
  the third component to the model is finding that support of Unity
• 35:27
  finding it, nurturing it building it out and there are
• 35:31
  tools in the program. Again around.
• 35:36
  Changing the narrative, changing the things we talk about
• 35:39
  changing, how we talk about things in our lives.
• 35:43
  Changing, how we talk about stress changing, how we talk
• 35:50
  about, what might be perceived as a failure.
• 35:54
  Is something that you tried failure, or is it just research
• 35:58
  and you got some good data and now you're going to move on to
• 36:01
  do something else with that data.
• 36:03
  You know, there's lots of ways that we can change our mindset.
• 36:07
  So, yeah, it's about finding that community that we can
• 36:13
  trust. And also, to show up, in a way
• 36:16
  that signals to others, that they can trust us, and I provide
• 36:22
  some again sometime. Rules and strategies on how to
• 36:26
  change those conversations. Mmm.
• 36:29
  Something I've been thinking about recently is just around
• 36:32
  the word Community. I'm in a business group is
• 36:34
  escapes Collective. Shout out to our host Danny.
• 36:37
  We've who runs a beautiful Community there and she's so
• 36:41
  passionate about talking about building community and working
• 36:45
  in community especially for us entrepreneurs something.
• 36:47
  I've been thinking about what that is just around, how I think
• 36:50
  my hang-up with the word Community previously, Was around
• 36:55
  my belief. This is not, this was just what
• 36:57
  maybe I was conditioned to believe or just what I always
• 37:00
  thought was that there was this elusive quote-unquote community
• 37:04
  that I should be looking for like one community that I should
• 37:08
  be looking forward to be a part of and as somebody who I'm not
• 37:13
  intensely faith-based, I don't I don't have a church or, you
• 37:16
  know, one church that I go to or I wouldn't say that.
• 37:18
  I'm just one thing. You know, another episode we
• 37:21
  talked about was being a multipotentialite.
• 37:22
  I have a lot of different Passions.
• 37:24
  I've always had a lot of different friend groups and and
• 37:28
  so that always made me nervous around like, am I doing this
• 37:31
  community thing, right? So what do you think about that
• 37:33
  and about building? Like I'm starting to think about
• 37:36
  it as my own Community who might not know each other but this is
• 37:41
  my Foundation. What have you noticed when
• 37:43
  you're facilitating these groups and people building kind of
• 37:46
  their own communities, am I onto something or is it should I be
• 37:49
  looking for that one group? I think you're totally on this
• 37:53
  something and it's, I'm so glad you brought this up.
• 37:58
  My personal belief and I am still on this Learning Journey.
• 38:02
  Myself is that we are personally responsible to build the exact
• 38:09
  community that meets our needs. And that I would say would be
• 38:15
  very rare if at all possible to expect that when in community
• 38:21
  can do that for us and it's interesting because that's
• 38:27
  related to the healing Journey that I had.
• 38:31
  When I did take leave from work and was really at a point of
• 38:39
  complete burn out, I was absolutely exhausted.
• 38:44
  My adrenal system was shot. My cortisol levels were off the
• 38:48
  map. I was spent And I really needed
• 38:53
  to start back from scratch and the idea was shared with me a
• 38:59
  building my own health round table and I loved that idea
• 39:05
  because it in itself is a community.
• 39:08
  And my health Round Table will look different than your health
• 39:11
  round table and help in the broadest sense of the world
• 39:16
  word. Like where, where is the
• 39:19
  community? I can go to for help.
• 39:21
  Healthy movement. Where's the community?
• 39:24
  I can go to for, for my, you know, mental well-being, where
• 39:30
  is the practitioner? That will support me with this
• 39:33
  specific aspect of my health. And it took me a full year to
• 39:38
  and a lot of trial and error to build out that Health round
• 39:42
  table. And I really think that it's
• 39:45
  important for us to do that with our other communities as well.
• 39:51
  I think that is Unbelievable, that is unbelievable, wisdom.
• 39:56
  My husband and I have talked about this a lot he went through
• 39:59
  medical. I'm at a really big Medical
• 40:01
  Health journey and we talked so much about how it can't be a
• 40:05
  one-size-fits-all, like, you have to build it out for
• 40:08
  yourself and it has to be integrated.
• 40:11
  And I also think about the fact that I have, so, I have three
• 40:14
  sisters And I've always shared people say, oh my gosh, what's
• 40:18
  that like or what was that? Like growing up, it was
• 40:20
  incredible, I had three different sisters to go to for
• 40:23
  three different things and I really do think about that in
• 40:26
  life now and how I have you don't learn this pregnancy.
• 40:30
  I have an acupuncturist that supports me in one way, I have
• 40:33
  like, you know, healers actual practitioners.
• 40:35
  But then I have the friend who I call to jam on entrepreneurial
• 40:39
  things because she's also an entrepreneur.
• 40:41
  I have the friend that I call when I'm in a really bad mood
• 40:43
  because she always lighten The mood, you know.
• 40:46
  So I just think that's such a beautiful sentiment around
• 40:49
  building your own healing or your health tribe, or Community,
• 40:53
  or whatever it is and individual to yourself.
• 40:57
  Oh, I think that's so that's so cool.
• 40:59
  And as I guess that's part of the permission, it's giving
• 41:01
  yourself the permission to invite these people into your
• 41:05
  life and to it's bold to though, like I think that sometimes we
• 41:10
  do kind of, we look for the, the tick tock hack, or we look for
• 41:13
  the Silver Bullet. We look for the one thing but
• 41:17
  like you said, like, there's no, I think that's such that's good
• 41:20
  permission for me to remember. There's no one Community.
• 41:22
  There's no one thing and I imagine have you experienced the
• 41:26
  fact that it's probably changed from that point in Burnout to
• 41:30
  what your team looks like. Now I imagine it's evolved
• 41:34
  absolutely, and that has been part of the journey as well.
• 41:39
  Which again strengthens the importance of the permission to
• 41:44
  pause because Was in pausing and a lot of us don't want to pause
• 41:50
  because inertia can be scary in. A lot of ways, we don't
• 41:55
  necessarily want to sit in Stillness and spend time with
• 41:59
  ourselves and our thoughts. But the permission to pause
• 42:04
  approach is really about, reconnecting with ourselves.
• 42:09
  Reconnecting what really likes us up and this doesn't have to
• 42:14
  be 0. Do I have to do a big, you know,
• 42:18
  Trek to, you know, Crystal Rica. Yeah.
• 42:23
  It doesn't have to be Eat. Pray Love.
• 42:24
  In fact, to see so much of permission to pause is about
• 42:30
  even reconnecting to our senses. Like what smells do I enjoy,
• 42:35
  what touch do I enjoy and bringing that into our everyday
• 42:40
  moments and Both of us would know and many of your listeners
• 42:45
  as parents, maybe sometimes, that's all you've got, is a
• 42:48
  moment. And so it's, it's about, you
• 42:53
  know, bringing that recognition that there are certain things
• 42:59
  that let you up and that you deserve them in this moment.
• 43:04
  And then, as you build out from that, then you start to Deeply,
• 43:11
  believe that you deserve. Certain positive experiences and
• 43:18
  then that starts to build out. So where is the community that
• 43:23
  will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
• 43:27
  And so through this process you start to find.
• 43:31
  As you said that boldness to stand up for yourself in
• 43:37
  whatever situation. You're Community you're in and
• 43:40
  start to ask yourself the question.
• 43:43
  Am I receiving? Saying what I deserve in this
• 43:46
  community, is there another community that might hold me
• 43:52
  more respectfully or offer me something more or challenged me
• 43:58
  in an area. I wish to be challenged and grow
• 44:01
  but you start to ask those really fundamental questions.
• 44:07
  From that place of, I'm very connected to myself.
• 44:10
  And what I need to light myself up and I owe it to this world
• 44:15
  and everyone around me to show up lit up because that's my
• 44:20
  contribution. Wow.
• 44:23
  And it's instead of saying, you know, I deserve better.
• 44:27
  And then the person saying okay, what can I do better?
• 44:29
  And you be like, well you just need to be better.
• 44:31
  It that's what I'm hearing from that is you need to be clear a
• 44:34
  bit more clear or pretty. Pretty damn clear about what it
• 44:37
  is. You need what fills your cup
• 44:41
  because everyone is so different and you know the example that
• 44:43
  comes to mind is work. I'm thinking about a couple of
• 44:46
  friends who as soon as this goes lives or maybe live or maybe
• 44:49
  even before I'm sending this episode to a few friends who it
• 44:52
  kills me to watch them in beautiful marriages and
• 44:55
  relationships but really toxic abusive relationships at work,
• 45:00
  mmm, that they deserve better. And sometimes I think it That
• 45:06
  while this is all I've ever known.
• 45:07
  This is all I've ever done. But getting clear on maybe it's
• 45:11
  pausing and what I hear is you know, getting really clear on
• 45:14
  what you deserve, what your boundaries are, what you need,
• 45:18
  that job may be perfect for somebody else.
• 45:20
  It actually might not be toxic to them, I might not sit in that
• 45:22
  same way but it could be harmful to you so much.
• 45:27
  Oh my gosh. There's so much there and so
• 45:29
  many Apple different applications for that too.
• 45:32
  Mhm. Yeah that's that's a perfect
• 45:35
  example and again Again. Being able to make those choices
• 45:40
  about do I stay, you know, what's my next step in my career
• 45:46
  move, the place to come from is, who am I?
• 45:52
  What, what lights me up? Why does that light me up?
• 45:55
  And then that often leads to some great conversations which
• 46:00
  has a career coach. I'm sure you know, if you can
• 46:03
  start from a deep knowledge and a deep connection to yourself
• 46:07
  and what light You are then it's easy to answer the questions of
• 46:11
  then what would I love to do? What would bring me joy as a
• 46:15
  career or a source of income. So it really it's and I really
• 46:21
  want to emphasize because I think often as parents, we hear
• 46:25
  the parallel like oh yes of course, like take care.
• 46:28
  You know, do yourself care because it's like the airplane
• 46:33
  analogy, put your oxygen mask on first before you put your child
• 46:37
  mask on. And there is a subtle
• 46:39
  distinction here that with permission to pause.
• 46:43
  The the emphasis is, don't wait for the Emergency, don't wait
• 46:51
  until your plane. In other words, your world is
• 46:55
  crashing down because your fuel tank is empty, and you have
• 47:00
  nothing left. To give permission to pause is
• 47:03
  really saying your energy. She is renewable.
• 47:10
  It's a renewable, energy source and you need a sustainable
• 47:14
  energy plan. It's it's that basic Oh my
• 47:20
  goodness, when you're talking when you said, when I said, oh,
• 47:23
  planning out your year, you're like, well, you have to start
• 47:25
  with the day because it's not doing any Eat.
• 47:27
  Pray Love once a year or every five years when you get burned
• 47:30
  out, it's the taking lunge. You even said, you know, kids
• 47:34
  are really good at this and the the total image that came to
• 47:36
  mind was asking a kid. Okay, so For Recess, you can go
• 47:40
  outside and play. Are you can stay inside and do
• 47:41
  your homework. I don't know what kids are like
• 47:43
  these days, but I was not staying inside.
• 47:46
  And doing my homework, I was out there.
• 47:48
  Making up the wildest most imaginative games.
• 47:51
  It's like intuitively kids just know that I need a mental break.
• 47:55
  I've been sitting in this classroom all morning and when
• 47:58
  do we do that? When do we take?
• 47:59
  I think you remember those coloring books that became
• 48:01
  really popular. A couple of years ago.
• 48:03
  Yeah, it was almost like this, like commercialized version of
• 48:07
  like structured play. Like, okay, let's play and, and
• 48:11
  I think that's, that's great. But there is something there
• 48:14
  around following your intuition and stop stifling it and
• 48:18
  stopped. I don't know, I know I could
• 48:20
  watch TV tonight for an hour but I should be doing this work
• 48:25
  because given take, you know, sometimes doing the work will
• 48:27
  make you feel better. And I don't want to negate that
• 48:29
  I'm probably have some work. I'm gonna do tonight because I
• 48:31
  feel inspired to do so, but in those moments where you're like,
• 48:34
  no, I'm drained. I'm spent go take a recess
• 48:37
  Winos. Hallelujah, after this for
• 48:42
  Cindy, and I are both going to go take a recess.
• 48:45
  Absolutely, there's so much that we We can explore that, you were
• 48:50
  hitting on there, again. I think it's a perfect
• 48:53
  illustration of this and I'll put this in air quotes, you
• 48:58
  know, the Protestant work ethic. But that's really the belief
• 49:01
  system behind our North American capitalistic economy, which is,
• 49:08
  you know, your your value as a human being is based on your
• 49:13
  productivity. And and so, we grow up with
• 49:19
  these messages about, you can go out and play.
• 49:21
  After you've done your homework, you can have dessert after
• 49:25
  you've eaten your vegetables, but like, why, you know, I if I
• 49:32
  were to go and play and then come and do my homework, I
• 49:35
  probably be more focused more energized and get it done in
• 49:37
  half the time and that's the messages we need to rewire for
• 49:43
  ourselves as adults. Because it will put us in our
• 49:47
  flow. It will mean, we're working
• 49:49
  smart, not hard because I will guarantee you.
• 49:52
  It will take you less time to do something.
• 49:54
  If you take that recess and come back, I I know that from lived
• 49:59
  experience, hard lesson, you know, you have to keep trying it
• 50:03
  and keep trying it and believe that you can do it.
• 50:06
  And and I think that's the other go a little sickly but that's
• 50:10
  the part of community. That's super important.
• 50:13
  You need someone or a group of people who are saying yes,
• 50:18
  ondrea take that recess. Because the rest of the world is
• 50:22
  going to be telling you know you shouldn't you know, there's a
• 50:26
  whole bunch of should that'll come in.
• 50:27
  Oh, I should just get through this.
• 50:29
  I should just power through. I should meet the deadline and
• 50:33
  you need a community that's going to counterbalance.
• 50:36
  That message because it'll it'll be bombarded with it and and
• 50:40
  this is why we're not just talking about that kind of
• 50:45
  mainstream self-care like, oh yeah, I you know, I had a hot
• 50:49
  bath great but you're going to go back out and you're going to
• 50:52
  get bombarded by the messages, telling you, how hard you should
• 50:57
  work and how your worth is, only tied up and how productive you
• 51:01
  can be. And you need a community saying,
• 51:03
  uh, what if we challenge that, what if we It on its head, you
• 51:08
  know? And so so that's an important
• 51:11
  aspect and back to your example of the kids and the recess, I
• 51:18
  heard an interesting podcast the other day and it was talking
• 51:23
  about how we need to rehumanize our own bodies because in the
• 51:28
  workplace were structured to be these productive.
• 51:34
  Automatron 's that show up exactly the same way and give
• 51:37
  the exact same amount of productivity every day day in
• 51:40
  and day out, not affected by any other factors.
• 51:44
  And we soon forget to listen to the simple basic signals that
• 51:49
  our bodies give us like, I need to go to the bathroom.
• 51:53
  I haven't eaten. I haven't had enough water
• 51:58
  today. Like I know I've been Been in
• 52:00
  situations where I will override that I will ignore those signals
• 52:05
  and so, so much of this is about really coming back and starting
• 52:11
  from that fundamental connection to ourselves and our bodies and
• 52:16
  what we need to you know not only be lit up but to function.
• 52:21
  Well we lose that. How do we lose that?
• 52:24
  Yeah. And it's like so it's so noisy.
• 52:26
  It's like when you're we've all had those days and especially
• 52:29
  you know in Corporate career is our even entrepreneurship.
• 52:33
  Are you have those days where it just feels like the music is
• 52:35
  playing so loud that you can't even hear the cues.
• 52:39
  And so, tying it back to your permission to pause, it just
• 52:42
  sounds like, I want to turn the music down a little bit, a
• 52:44
  couple times a day. Or, you know, when you're like,
• 52:48
  it's probably around lunchtime. Like doesn't matter when you
• 52:50
  actually eat lunch, but it's nice to know that around 12:00
• 52:54
  chair, maybe check in, with yourself to be like, am I
• 52:56
  hungry? Yes, I'm starving because you
• 52:58
  turn the music down a little bit.
• 53:00
  Yeah. That's there's something.
• 53:01
  There's something there. And it's, yeah.
• 53:03
  And there's, oh my gosh, you know, that tangent.
• 53:05
  We could also go on would just be to corporate Wellness
• 53:07
  programs that exist. But then this weird
• 53:10
  juxtaposition between the companies that are also tracking
• 53:12
  their employees. Like over the pandemic, they
• 53:14
  were like, proved me your productivity but here are all
• 53:18
  the corporate Wellness programs were offering.
• 53:20
  And, you know, it's just all my gosh.
• 53:22
  There's there's a lot of work to be done, a lot of operates.
• 53:24
  Exactly. And we'll, and I say, like,
• 53:26
  here's the corporate wellness program, sign up for it.
• 53:30
  And it's over your lunch hour. Yeah, right.
• 53:33
  So it's like, give something up for this as opposed to.
• 53:37
  Here's the corporate wellness program and it takes place
• 53:40
  during the work day because we value you, as a human being and
• 53:44
  want to invest in your well-being.
• 53:47
  Yes. Okay.
• 53:49
  So to Pivot a little bit, I want to use myself as a human case
• 53:51
  study and selfishly ask you from your perspective, as a mom of
• 53:56
  two, I purposely times this episodes that it was Actually
• 54:00
  going to are. So this is a few weeks before,
• 54:02
  this is actually happening, but this is airing the week that I
• 54:06
  should be having a baby and we'll be taking myself my first
• 54:10
  entrepreneurial maternity leave. So I have worked with my coach.
• 54:14
  I've done a lot of the internal work.
• 54:16
  Now, I am a coach, I, you know, I'm like, just gearing up
• 54:19
  getting all my tools. Ready to like, take this
• 54:21
  maternity, leave to give myself the permission to pause.
• 54:25
  I worry that I won't stay true to that.
• 54:28
  Pat, do you have any advice for me?
• 54:30
  The how to commit to and take that pause.
• 54:33
  And what to remind myself of those moments where I like, but
• 54:36
  I should be doing even if it's not going back to work.
• 54:38
  But I should be making beef stroganoff or I should be making
• 54:42
  fresh bread because I have the time like what are some some
• 54:46
  watch out there. Some tips that you may be given
• 54:48
  have for me to allow myself that time.
• 54:52
  I love that you're thinking about this already as you
• 54:57
  prepare for your maternity leave from your business.
• 55:00
  I think already you're ahead of the game because you're aware of
• 55:05
  it. And as you said earlier, you
• 55:07
  bringing that intention, which is so much a part of the game.
• 55:13
  And before I give any advice, I guess, what I'm curious is about
• 55:18
  is where do you think the biggest challenge?
• 55:22
  This will be for you. As a true facilitator.
• 55:30
  You know what I think it's my it's a good.
• 55:33
  It's a it's actually comes from a really positive place.
• 55:35
  It's my excitement and my, my zest for life.
• 55:39
  Like I think that is a super power.
• 55:40
  I have is I have a job to be like, I really enjoy life and I
• 55:44
  get so excited. Like this conversation makes me
• 55:47
  so excited and the work I'm doing makes me so excited,
• 55:52
  making bread, makes it, you know, I'm just as in.
• 55:55
  Yes, I'm an excitable person. So I think that the That my, you
• 55:59
  know. Yeah, my worrier or whatever is
• 56:02
  kind of around the. Like I get really.
• 56:04
  I also know that when I pause I get really inspired which can
• 56:08
  then turn into additional items on my I guess to-do list and,
• 56:14
  and that sort of thing. So, as I'm saying that, I'm
• 56:18
  definitely an external thinker. I wonder if there's a better
• 56:21
  way, is there a way to channel that, and to kind of go back to
• 56:24
  an episode, I did, but Taylor Aller, which I'll link in the
• 56:27
  show notes. On making a knot right now list.
• 56:30
  So maybe that's one thing I could do.
• 56:32
  Would be when I get excited like that.
• 56:35
  Maybe it's putting it on my not. Right.
• 56:36
  Maybe it's just putting it on a list letting it live somewhere,
• 56:40
  okay? That could be one idea.
• 56:41
  I love that and I caught your Taylor Fowler episode, which I
• 56:45
  thought was fantastic and I love that not right now list.
• 56:49
  Yeah, I'm going to adopt that as well.
• 56:51
  I can so relate to your multi passion.
• 56:58
  Excitement. I'm very much the same, and I
• 56:59
  think that's probably why I felt like I had this plate.
• 57:04
  That was overflowing with my roles, my desires, my
• 57:09
  aspirations, my goals, my commitments, my obligations,
• 57:13
  it's the way I live. And so again, God bless notion.
• 57:20
  There's where I put all of my, you know, just just the lists
• 57:24
  and then the list of the list and the list and the list.
• 57:27
  Notion. Okay, I'm going to look into
• 57:29
  that lot of good to we love that.
• 57:31
  Hey, yeah, it's you can get a free version and it was actually
• 57:37
  one of my daughter's. It introduced me to it.
• 57:39
  And you can make it look so aesthetic.
• 57:42
  But I just find even the act of putting those great ideas and
• 57:46
  Inspirations in a place then just lightens your mental energy
• 57:52
  because it definitely is. It does tax your mental energy
• 57:55
  to try and hang on to all that great.
• 57:57
  Action. And what I'm hearing from you
• 58:03
  again, I think because I can so relate to the experience is
• 58:08
  there's no shortage of inspiration and ideas and things
• 58:14
  that you enjoy doing. And and I certainly feel the
• 58:17
  same way the overwhelm. For me, often came from wanting
• 58:24
  to do them all all at the same time and to a certain Certain
• 58:28
  degree of perfection that was off the charts, you know, again,
• 58:35
  because I was sort of raised that, if you're going to do
• 58:38
  something, do it. Well, you know, give 110%.
• 58:42
  And so one of the tools that we talked about in permission to
• 58:46
  pause is if you're good at something, if it comes to you
• 58:52
  naturally, and it's a passion of yours.
• 58:56
  Your 80% is going to show up as a hundred and ten percent for
• 59:01
  someone else. So if you're doing something for
• 59:04
  someone and you're like, oh but I really care about them about
• 59:09
  what I'm doing, I'm going to give 110% Your 80% will land the
• 59:17
  same way for them and that gives you at least 20% to put in your
• 59:22
  reserve tank. Whoa, so so that's that's
• 59:28
  something to just be aware of it definitely applies in the
• 59:34
  workplace but it applies for anything that we bring our full
• 59:37
  passion to and often in terms of what we want to do for others.
• 59:43
  Yes. Oh my goodness, I love that
• 59:45
  visual to like I was literally picturing, picturing 20 cents,
• 59:48
  two dimes and not that, I don't want the last time I use cash
• 59:51
  but putting that 20 cents in the piggy bank or okay, this is
• 59:56
  another weird example. I love analogies but member they
• 59:58
  were said, interact program here in Canada where it was like save
• 1:00:02
  the rest. I think they still have that
• 1:00:03
  where they'll Roundup. You know a bill that you pay it
• 1:00:06
  like the gas station or whatever and you look save the rest.
• 1:00:10
  I I'm going to think about that a lot.
• 1:00:12
  I think that's a huge. Take away for me or probably
• 1:00:14
  anybody else listening around the like, one of that.
• 1:00:18
  Can you save knowing that your 80% is excellent and not just
• 1:00:22
  okay. Now I'm now I'm on a total
• 1:00:25
  tangent but I think my issue with people saying like you know
• 1:00:28
  80% is good and it's good enough for us someone who's High
• 1:00:31
  achiever, it's kind of like yeah.
• 1:00:34
  But sometimes you want to do 100%.
• 1:00:35
  However what you just said is no no but the perception of your
• 1:00:39
  80% to others looks like over 100.
• 1:00:43
  And that is a very interesting reframe.
• 1:00:46
  I have never thought about it that way and I think it's really
• 1:00:50
  important that this isn't smoke and mirrors and this isn't
• 1:00:54
  trying to Hoodwink someone that you're only giving them your
• 1:00:57
  80%. It's they don't know how to do
• 1:01:01
  what you're doing as well as you do.
• 1:01:03
  Otherwise, they wouldn't have asked like they've come to you,
• 1:01:07
  or you've offered because it's something you're good at, and
• 1:01:10
  you're passionate about and some The point really is it will be
• 1:01:15
  received as 110 percent or more because it will more than meet
• 1:01:22
  their need. And that those two dimes, the
• 1:01:26
  20%, I love the visual, the two dimes that is the contribution
• 1:01:32
  to your sustainable energy plan. So that's where that's the cup
• 1:01:38
  in in the, you know, the framework that I share that.
• 1:01:43
  The cup that holds your energy that you place your saucer on
• 1:01:49
  top of and your saucer is no longer unstable because you've
• 1:01:53
  always you're always feeling that tank.
• 1:01:56
  And it's it's really about building resilience.
• 1:02:01
  So that if something comes out you out of left field, like a
• 1:02:05
  medical emergency, as we talked about earlier, it's not going to
• 1:02:10
  topple that cup or the plate. On top because it's so solid and
• 1:02:15
  it's not empty and that's the analogy.
• 1:02:20
  Wow, it's like sand like really. It's a weighted, it's weighted
• 1:02:24
  down. I can see that you can tell, I'm
• 1:02:26
  very visual, I love love, love that visual that is, so that is
• 1:02:31
  fascinating. Well, you figured out a heck of
• 1:02:34
  a lot in your lifetime, but Cindy, what are you still trying
• 1:02:37
  to figure out in all this? You know, I think it gets back
• 1:02:43
  to a question. You asked earlier on this in
• 1:02:48
  this conversation, which is, you know, like how do you plot your
• 1:02:52
  year, which I don't want to lose that question that you ask,
• 1:02:56
  because I think it's a really important one.
• 1:02:58
  And that's where my learning is. Right now, I am turning my
• 1:03:04
  attention to learning how to live in sync with the seasons.
• 1:03:11
  Because there's a permission in that as well.
• 1:03:14
  Which, for example, while this podcast is being recorded, we're
• 1:03:20
  in the middle of winter. I think you've got snow on the
• 1:03:23
  ground where you are. I've got a gray cold rainy day
• 1:03:27
  here. And it's important for us to to
• 1:03:31
  again, pause long enough to look around and be connected to the
• 1:03:38
  natural world and realize that That for us right now, in this
• 1:03:43
  part of the world, at this time of the year, most living things
• 1:03:49
  are resting and they're even composting.
• 1:03:53
  They're shedding. What they no longer need the
• 1:03:56
  leaves or the, you know, the whatever Parts get shed in the
• 1:04:04
  quiet, winter months and there is so much nourishment.
• 1:04:11
  And energy that is quietly being built underground.
• 1:04:16
  Without any of us seeing in order to nurture, a more active
• 1:04:23
  and outward-facing spring season to come.
• 1:04:27
  And I am learning more and more about how nourishing that is for
• 1:04:32
  us to be in sync with the seasons.
• 1:04:35
  And there's a permission component to it as well.
• 1:04:39
  So, when It's the middle of winter and it's a gray rainy day
• 1:04:43
  outside. And I feel I'm plugging into my
• 1:04:47
  body and I'm feeling like, okay, what I really want to do is rest
• 1:04:51
  but the shoulds come in, you should do this.
• 1:04:53
  You should meet that deadline should get this finished.
• 1:04:57
  It's the ability to I guess it's another tool to reach for it to
• 1:05:01
  say. It might be the best thing for
• 1:05:04
  me to do right now to step away and rest because the natural
• 1:05:11
  World is telling me to do that, so that's that I don't say.
• 1:05:16
  I had that figured out. I would love to get to a place
• 1:05:20
  where I run my business on a seasonal basis, so that it is in
• 1:05:26
  sync with the season. It gives me a down time, it
• 1:05:31
  gives me a time of sort of planting and, you know, little
• 1:05:36
  seedlings and that would be that inspiration stage at the year
• 1:05:40
  and then there's a At a time of the year where I reap the
• 1:05:44
  benefits of that creativity inspiration.
• 1:05:46
  And that's the Harvest. So, you know, and and also
• 1:05:49
  there's a releasing time and allowing things to fall away,
• 1:05:54
  that no longer serve me. So, that's my Learning Journey.
• 1:05:59
  Ah, that's so cool. It sounds like a pot like really
• 1:06:01
  taking an applying applying everything that you've learned
• 1:06:04
  and experienced. I think that's so beautiful.
• 1:06:07
  A lot of what a good Next Step. We'll have to have you on.
• 1:06:09
  I want to hear more about that because We were chatting about
• 1:06:12
  that over the winter solstice with I guess.
• 1:06:14
  I had Chantal Russell and we should talk about that as well
• 1:06:17
  and it's so fascinating. And I don't think it's Boo.
• 1:06:20
  Boo, and hey, maybe even if it is whatever, you know, I think
• 1:06:23
  there's there's magic there. That's really cool.
• 1:06:26
  And it sounds like you have so much going on with your
• 1:06:29
  permission to pause program. Tell me what you have coming up
• 1:06:31
  in your business and where everybody can find you as well.
• 1:06:35
  Mmm, thank you so people can find me on my website.
• 1:06:39
  Boom, spiral facilitation. Dot-com and on Instagram at boom
• 1:06:44
  spiral facilitation. I'm also at on LinkedIn, Cindy,
• 1:06:48
  back up. And just a quick reference to
• 1:06:54
  the name of the company. Boom.
• 1:06:55
  Spiral people ask me questions about it all the time, but it
• 1:06:59
  was a it's a word that's made up and it's a word that came to me
• 1:07:03
  at an event when someone was talking about the literal
• 1:07:07
  explosion of magic that happens when a And facilitator, ignites
• 1:07:14
  the energy and creativity and wisdom of the collective group.
• 1:07:19
  And it ignites something that takes everyone higher.
• 1:07:23
  And so that's where that that name came from.
• 1:07:26
  And, and on that note, that's really where my focus is now,
• 1:07:31
  I'm offering permission to pause as a workshop series.
• 1:07:35
  I've been offering it online and I'm super excited that it will
• 1:07:40
  be offered in person very soon as well.
• 1:07:43
  And it's in that Spirit of community and really finding the
• 1:07:48
  magic and the connection and the support that that I think we're
• 1:07:54
  all trying to plug back into in this post covid era.
• 1:07:57
  And the other aspect of my business is to support other
• 1:08:02
  entrepreneurs who want to build those communities for
• 1:08:06
  themselves, whether they're offering webinars or in person
• 1:08:10
  learning Trinity's or keynote presentations.
• 1:08:13
  I'll be offering planning services to help those hosts
• 1:08:19
  ensure that they have the most engaging and inclusive
• 1:08:25
  experience for their participants.
• 1:08:26
  So I'll be inviting entrepreneurs to bring their
• 1:08:30
  content to me. They'll be the content experts
• 1:08:34
  and I'll work with them to shape up a container and a flow to the
• 1:08:40
  extremities. Experience, that will make it a
• 1:08:44
  memorable experience for their participants.
• 1:08:47
  So my goodness. Well, I wish that when I was in
• 1:08:51
  the corporate world, I knew about you, whenever we are
• 1:08:53
  sourcing facilitators and and what not.
• 1:08:55
  But I just have a feeling we'll be working together in the
• 1:08:58
  future. Probably not.
• 1:08:59
  So not so distant future because I just love the work you do.
• 1:09:03
  I love your message, you are equal ground, equal parts of
• 1:09:07
  head and heart. You're so incredibly smart, but
• 1:09:09
  you have this heart and intention behind and everything
• 1:09:11
  you do. So thank you for showing up as
• 1:09:13
  you do. Thank you so much for joining on
• 1:09:16
  this podcast. I teared up a couple times,
• 1:09:19
  there's just so much. I think there's there's truly
• 1:09:22
  there's just so much wisdom here so I really appreciate it and I
• 1:09:25
  know the audience will as well Andrea.
• 1:09:27
  It has been an absolute honor and a pleasure to be here.
• 1:09:30
  Thank you for inviting me. Thank you for listening.
• 1:09:34
  You can access all resources mentioned in this episode via my
• 1:09:37
  website andreea bar.com / podcast and let's chat on
• 1:09:41
  Instagram. I'm at andreea bar coaching and
• 1:09:43
  I reply to every DM. I get if you loved this episode,
• 1:09:47
  don't forget to quickly hit that button on your podcast app to
• 1:09:50
  give me a five star rating and drop in and review.
• 1:09:53
  It would truly mean the world and if you're like me and love
• 1:09:57
  to share things that you love, send this episode to a friend
• 1:10:00
  who you think would appreciate this topic.
• 1:10:02
  Thanks again for listening and I'll chat with you next week.
• 1:10:02
  Thanks again for listening and I'll chat with you next week.