Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / Placebex
Transcript
- 0:02SPEAKER_01: Finally, I can enjoy walks in the country again.
- 0:06SPEAKER_01: Thanks to Placebex.
- 0:08SPEAKER_01: Placebex, designed to make you feel better about any situation.
- 0:12SPEAKER_01: For any reason.
- 0:13SPEAKER_01: I used to hate the morning commute coming out here and getting stuck.
- 0:16SPEAKER_01: Now I love coming out here and just sitting.
- 0:19SPEAKER_01: It's so relaxing.
- 0:20SPEAKER_01: Placebex, designed to make you feel better about anything.
- 0:25SPEAKER_01: Placebex contains nothing that could be considered harmful.
- 0:28SPEAKER_01: In fact, Placebex contains nothing at all, other than cornstarch.
- 0:32SPEAKER_01: Placebex is designed to do absolutely nothing at all, while making you think that it is.
- 0:39SPEAKER_01: Any positive medical results are completely coincidental.
- 0:42SPEAKER_01: Frequent or prolonged use could result in stupor, boredom, ignorance of reality, anti-vaccine ideation, belief that life was better in the 10th century, addiction to television, appreciation of Rick Astley recordings, and death.
- 0:56SPEAKER_01: Do not use placebex if you are in a coma or expect to be.
- 0:59SPEAKER_01: Some patients have gained weight and lost brain cells in clinical studies, not to be used by those with cornstarch allergies or who live in southern New Jersey.
- 1:08SPEAKER_01: May cause drowsiness, or not.
- 1:10SPEAKER_01: Has been linked to certain political ideas, but the makers of placebex make no specific candidate endorsements other than those we have previously bought under the provisions of federal election law.
- 1:20SPEAKER_01: Do not use placebex if you are a methamphetamine user.
- 1:23SPEAKER_01: Just don't.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: Before placebox, I had pain all the time.
- 1:28SPEAKER_00: Now I just have pain most of the time.
- 1:31SPEAKER_01: Placebox can be expensive, so ask your doctor about the placebox affordability program.
- 1:36SPEAKER_01: It might make your placebix prescription as low as$350 a week.
- 1:41SPEAKER_01: I used to be an old and bitter man.
- 1:44SPEAKER_01: I still am.
- 1:46SPEAKER_01: But now I'm good with that.
- 1:48SPEAKER_01: Thank you, placebox.
- 1:50SPEAKER_01: Ask your doctor if placebix is right for you.
- 1:53SPEAKER_01: Placebox, new from Pharma Brute.
- 1:56SPEAKER_01: It does nothing.
- 1:57SPEAKER_01: And sometimes nothing is exactly what you need.