Latest / Dear Chelsea / Learning the Hard Way with Meghan Trainor

Transcript

Learning the Hard Way with Meghan Trainor · Dear Chelsea

0:01
Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine. Oh hello Chelsea. How are you? I have
0:07
Speaker 1: to tell you something? Actually, don't answer that. I have
0:11
Speaker 1: had a lot of people come up to me on planes.
0:15
Speaker 1: I'm not joking referencing my disgust for bare feet and
0:20
Speaker 1: the hard boiled egg thing. There was a woman, a
0:23
Speaker 1: flight attendant who was like, I can't believe that you
0:27
Speaker 1: allow the woman that co hosts the podcast with you
0:30
Speaker 1: to continue on after what she said about traveling with
0:33
Speaker 1: hard boiled eggs in a ziplock bag. She thought I
0:36
Speaker 1: should cut ties with you. That's how serious of an offense.
0:41
Speaker 1: Somebody who flies through the air for a living takes
0:44
Speaker 1: your hard boiled eggs. Just so you know, it's basically
0:48
Speaker 1: what you've been doing, this assaulting people. I know you
0:51
Speaker 1: know what I Actually someone wrote in to our email
0:55
Speaker 1: and she basically said she was like, I was awoken
0:59
Speaker 1: from a nap by the smell of hard boiled eggs
1:01
Speaker 1: on a plane, and I thought, of you. I thought
1:04
Speaker 1: there can't be someone else's bringing hard boiled eggs on
1:06
Speaker 1: a plane, but sure enough, there she was. But she
1:09
Speaker 1: like said it in a way that was like, but
1:11
Speaker 1: I love you, I I can't even look at hard
1:14
Speaker 1: boiled eggs the same. Like now, if I see there
1:17
Speaker 1: was like a there's We were at some studio and
1:19
Speaker 1: there was all these snacks and I was trying to
1:21
Speaker 1: eat healthy and I was like, I don't want this.
1:23
Speaker 1: I don't want that. And there's a hard boiled egg
1:25
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm like, if I were mad
1:27
Speaker 1: at you, I would be eating you. But I am.
1:29
Speaker 1: I'm still not over it. So well, you know what,
1:32
Speaker 1: I have at least changed one part of my life.
1:35
Speaker 1: I think I'm committed to using ricotta and my lasagna
1:38
Speaker 1: from now on. Yeah. I think that was also a
1:41
Speaker 1: major misfire to Thank god MATEO set you straight. Thank
1:44
Speaker 1: god he said someone straight, you know what I mean,
1:46
Speaker 1: because he's not setting a lot of people straight. He
1:49
Speaker 1: would make if I were a guy, I would want
1:51
Speaker 1: to have sex with him me too, you know what
1:54
Speaker 1: I mean. There's a woman I want to have sex. Yeah,
1:56
Speaker 1: it's you don't have atracted to him? Actually yeah he
1:59
Speaker 1: had else. Well, I have a follow up, a very
2:05
Speaker 1: important follow up from a recent caller. So we remember
2:09
Speaker 1: Sandra who called in on our Caller Daddy episode just
2:13
Speaker 1: last week, and she was going to Thailand with the
2:17
Speaker 1: boyfriend who had been like hiring escorts. But it was
2:20
Speaker 1: before they were together, so you know we talked to
2:22
Speaker 1: her about right, but oh yeah, yeah, yeah, escorts, right,
2:25
Speaker 1: I remember this, Yes, so Sandra says, Hi, Chelsea, I
2:31
Speaker 1: just wanted to follow up after our call with some
2:33
Speaker 1: updates or I guess just the one. I'm continuing to
2:36
Speaker 1: work with my therapist on my trust issues and keep
2:39
Speaker 1: all of your voices in my head that I cannot
2:41
Speaker 1: look at his things if I want a real and
2:43
Speaker 1: healthy relationship. And I expressed to him how his past
2:46
Speaker 1: made me feel insecure. But I will work on that
2:48
Speaker 1: and work on my trust. I went on the trip
2:50
Speaker 1: to Thailand, and something felt off the entire time. He
2:54
Speaker 1: had started smoking weed again, even though he was sober,
2:57
Speaker 1: and the trip was hard because there was a major disconnect,
3:00
Speaker 1: sinking feeling that he was not telling me something. It
3:03
Speaker 1: turns out he was indeed cheating on me, going to
3:06
Speaker 1: erotic massage parlors before I got there, and even while
3:10
Speaker 1: I was there. Yeah, he did not tell me willingly. Yes,
3:15
Speaker 1: it's because I found his Google map history going to
3:17
Speaker 1: these locations. I believe he would never have told me
3:20
Speaker 1: the truth if I had not found that history. So
3:22
Speaker 1: she snooped again and found out. Yeah, well, if you're
3:26
Speaker 1: snooping and you do find something, you can't argue with
3:28
Speaker 1: that because that's exactly what you were looking for. So
3:32
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that that happens to you. And I guess, so, snoop,
3:36
Speaker 1: if you ever really strong, like, what's our what's our messaging? Here?
3:40
Speaker 1: I dated a guy who looked through my ship and
3:42
Speaker 1: I'm not up to anything, and sure enough, whatever he
3:45
Speaker 1: found he made into something that was nothing. And anyone
3:48
Speaker 1: who listens to this podcast knows that I'm not a
3:50
Speaker 1: person that would even I would never do that. I
3:53
Speaker 1: don't have the energy for one relationship, never mind fucking two.
3:57
Speaker 1: So that's where I've come from on that philosophy of
4:01
Speaker 1: phone checking. I've also been the girl that does that,
4:04
Speaker 1: as we discussed it during that episode, and I didn't
4:06
Speaker 1: like the way that felt either. But listen, I guess
4:09
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say about it, because women
4:11
Speaker 1: are just gonna fucking keep checking people's phones and men
4:14
Speaker 1: who are paranoid, and we'll not just paranoid, but you
4:17
Speaker 1: know they're going to do it too, I guess. And
4:20
Speaker 1: you know she goes on to say like she knows
4:22
Speaker 1: that she has some issues to work through with that.
4:24
Speaker 1: But I would also argue that you're attracting people that
4:27
Speaker 1: are like this, and that's the bigger issue. You knew
4:30
Speaker 1: deep within that this was the wrong person before you
4:34
Speaker 1: found that out. No, but I agree, you know, it's
4:37
Speaker 1: like she continues to say, like she's got some stuff
4:39
Speaker 1: to work on, She's going to keep working on that.
4:41
Speaker 1: She's glad in this instance she did. But she hopes
4:44
Speaker 1: to find somebody who like she doesn't have to feel
4:46
Speaker 1: like and that's it with that guy, Like, no, no
4:49
Speaker 1: more anything, sandals all done? What's gross? Pre Just don't cheat.
4:55
Speaker 1: Just break up. Don't cheat, you're not married. Why are
4:57
Speaker 1: you cheating? Exactly? Just break up and go be with
5:01
Speaker 1: the other fucking go be with the tie massus is.
5:03
Speaker 1: If that's what you want to be with, exactly, you
5:05
Speaker 1: get married and then you cheap. That's everyone knows. That's
5:08
Speaker 1: how it goes. Yeah. Okay, So our guest today is
5:11
Speaker 1: a singer. She has a very big song out that
5:14
Speaker 1: everyone is trying to dance too well. Most people are
5:16
Speaker 1: doing it effectively. I'm pretty much the only one who
5:18
Speaker 1: can't do this dance. Her song is called made You
5:21
Speaker 1: Look This was her fourth studio album, and she just
5:24
Speaker 1: launched the second season of her podcast, which is called
5:27
Speaker 1: Working on It, which she co hosts with her brother
5:29
Speaker 1: Ryan Trainer. So please welcome Megan Trainer. Hi, Megan Trainer.
5:35
Speaker 1: Oh so exciting and in person meet and greet in Paris,
5:38
Speaker 1: and look at I'm on the show. I know exist Guiding.
5:41
Speaker 1: I mean, we've of course met before a couple of times. Yeah,
5:44
Speaker 1: this is Catherine, our producer. Hi. How are you? Thanks
5:48
Speaker 1: ting me? Oh my god, thanks. I love you, Megan Trainer.
5:51
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for your success that you're having right now.
5:55
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the last time we saw each
5:57
Speaker 1: other we talked about the music industry a little bit,
6:00
Speaker 1: and I remember you're telling me something like, even though
6:03
Speaker 1: you can be really well known, you sometimes don't feel
6:06
Speaker 1: like you're in the mix. You said something along those lines, Well, yeah,
6:10
Speaker 1: I never feel famous, and like I don't feel like
6:12
Speaker 1: I keep I feel like I always have to keep
6:15
Speaker 1: proving myself. And it's been almost like ten years and
6:17
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know that. Yeah, it is hard.
6:20
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people probably feel that way.
6:22
Speaker 1: And I think, just like a hard critic on myself
6:25
Speaker 1: to get my parents. Yeah, like in what way it's
6:28
Speaker 1: Give me an example, Like when I was writing this
6:31
Speaker 1: new album, every song I had, I would I would
6:33
Speaker 1: approach it I gotta be better at my self talk
6:35
Speaker 1: and self love, but I would play like made you
6:38
Speaker 1: look this big hit. I sang it to my brother
6:40
Speaker 1: and my older brother and was like is this trash?
6:43
Speaker 1: Like is this terrible? Or is this good? You know,
6:45
Speaker 1: instead of being like I've had this idea, you know,
6:48
Speaker 1: I start right away with like I think I stuck
6:50
Speaker 1: it writing. And if you don't have like a radio
6:53
Speaker 1: hit for a long time, you can get in your
6:54
Speaker 1: head of like, well it must be me. I think
6:56
Speaker 1: I'm trash you know. Yeah, absolutely, I can totally relate
6:59
Speaker 1: to that feel. You have to always make yourself relevant,
7:02
Speaker 1: which is a lame way to describe its. Ever, and
7:06
Speaker 1: you're only as good as like, you know, when you
7:07
Speaker 1: have success, it's like it dims so quickly. You're like that.
7:14
Speaker 1: So it's it's nice to be back in the spotlight.
7:17
Speaker 1: I know, I know, as you could and you could
7:19
Speaker 1: actually dance for a white woman like you have. I
7:23
Speaker 1: mean this is coming from someone Listen. I tried to
7:25
Speaker 1: fucking rehearse that song. On the road. I was on
7:28
Speaker 1: a tour with my opener, my security guard and then
7:31
Speaker 1: another one of us. I'm so uncoordinated and I don't
7:34
Speaker 1: have any rhythm. It's I'm cursed with some Jewish disease
7:37
Speaker 1: that I have. That's song. When I saw it, I
7:40
Speaker 1: was like, that's what I could do. I could do that.
7:41
Speaker 1: I could do that dance. And we tried several times
7:44
Speaker 1: and then finally it became sad. No, that took me
7:46
Speaker 1: three days to learn. Three days three d Yeah, but
7:50
Speaker 1: when you do it, you can move things like I
7:52
Speaker 1: now I got it, Like, yeah, you have Yeah. I
7:55
Speaker 1: always wanted to dance, but I was a girl in
7:57
Speaker 1: middle school, like at the school dances, that was like
8:00
Speaker 1: sitting by myself in the corner, like I can't go
8:01
Speaker 1: on dance and runt of people, you know, really, And
8:03
Speaker 1: then in high school you could like drink a little bit,
8:06
Speaker 1: and then you're like drinking. There's always somebody said drink.
8:10
Speaker 1: But I took like three weeks off of drinking recently
8:13
Speaker 1: because I was hosting the Critics Choice Awards and by
8:16
Speaker 1: the way, oh, thank you, thank you, and then my
8:19
Speaker 1: publicist goes, Chelsea, you should know alcoholics because maybe you
8:22
Speaker 1: should just stick with it. I was like, go fund yourself.
8:25
Speaker 1: I'm not. Alcohol is my support system. It is my buddy. Now, okay,
8:30
Speaker 1: your life has changed a lot in the last couple
8:32
Speaker 1: of years because you had a baby, the cutest little baby.
8:35
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's adorable. Tell me about that, that
8:38
Speaker 1: kind of change in your life with your husband. Well,
8:40
Speaker 1: how long have you been married now? What does he
8:42
Speaker 1: say behind you? Four years? Four years? And when did
8:46
Speaker 1: you have your baby? When do we have the baby?
8:50
Speaker 1: He's almost two, he's almost two in Februarian. So you've
8:53
Speaker 1: got a real handle on things that are happening. I'm
8:56
Speaker 1: peeking and I'm diving. And tell me about how that's
8:58
Speaker 1: changed your life. Becoming a white I'm becoming a mom
9:01
Speaker 1: just the best. Yeah, it's so. It's I was one
9:03
Speaker 1: of those like I've always wanted to. I had baby
9:06
Speaker 1: dolls instead of Barbie dolls. I had babies when I
9:09
Speaker 1: was young, and I was like, I will be a
9:11
Speaker 1: mother of twelve, you know, that was my goal. And
9:13
Speaker 1: my mom had three of us. I'm one of three,
9:16
Speaker 1: so I know I want a bunch of kids. I
9:17
Speaker 1: know I want like four. I'm gonna try for four.
9:20
Speaker 1: But that sounds loud, you know, but it's it's been
9:22
Speaker 1: the best. And I always thought that I would settle
9:24
Speaker 1: for some loser and like fix him later. But I
9:27
Speaker 1: got me a man's who like massages my feet and
9:31
Speaker 1: takes care of me and like worships the ground I
9:34
Speaker 1: step on. And I didn't know that existed, you know,
9:37
Speaker 1: but it exists. He's still like opens every door I
9:40
Speaker 1: walked through and like carries my gallon of water for
9:43
Speaker 1: me and makes me breakfast. I got so lucky. That's awesome. One.
9:50
Speaker 1: It feels like you win when you fall in love, right,
9:52
Speaker 1: like like, oh my god, I get this too, on
9:54
Speaker 1: top of everything else, right like, I get this lucky.
9:57
Speaker 1: Something's going on, you know. That's where we're at in life. Now.
10:00
Speaker 1: Where is that accent from? That's like underneath, No, we're
10:04
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm Massachusetts. Like my bros. They're like, oh, bro,
10:08
Speaker 1: Like we talked like this. You know. It's like we
10:10
Speaker 1: go to Long Island, but we don't. It's very much. Um,
10:14
Speaker 1: nobody actually knows it. But it's Nick Kroll on his
10:17
Speaker 1: TV show that he had back in the day, The
10:20
Speaker 1: Croll Show. It was our favorite thing to watch and
10:23
Speaker 1: he had a skit with They were like, these brawls
10:25
Speaker 1: that sound like my brothers when they talk, and they're like,
10:27
Speaker 1: let's bounce. These gals brawl. So we talk like that
10:30
Speaker 1: a lot. I don't have sisters. Oh you don't. You
10:33
Speaker 1: have two brothers and you're the are you the youngest
10:35
Speaker 1: in the middle middle? So I was attacked by either side. Yeah,
10:41
Speaker 1: but your one brother lives out here to do both.
10:43
Speaker 1: They both live in my house. One just turned thirty
10:48
Speaker 1: ones about turn and I'll never let them leave. That's
10:51
Speaker 1: really funny. I had my brother lived in my house
10:53
Speaker 1: and he did leave because I had to tell him
10:55
Speaker 1: to get out. He lived with me for about he
10:57
Speaker 1: was Roy. He lives with me for a while. Then
11:00
Speaker 1: one morning I walked in my kitchen and this girl
11:01
Speaker 1: was like, can we get can we take a picture?
11:05
Speaker 1: Came out of his bedroom and I'm in my bathrobe
11:07
Speaker 1: and I was like, hey, Roy, this is so inappropriate,
11:10
Speaker 1: and he's like what, I go, if you're bringing people home,
11:12
Speaker 1: like you have to make sure that, hey, they're not
11:14
Speaker 1: coming home to meet me, I can't be the thing.
11:17
Speaker 1: And he goes, well, whatever I have to do to
11:19
Speaker 1: get him there, And then I was like Oh. I
11:22
Speaker 1: was like, Roy, you got to get out of here.
11:24
Speaker 1: I only had like a few of those where my
11:26
Speaker 1: brother would bring home thoughts when he was drinking um
11:28
Speaker 1: and he'd be like, who's this um? And they like
11:32
Speaker 1: one girl took a video of the entire backyard and
11:35
Speaker 1: then tagged me, and I was like, she's dead to us,
11:37
Speaker 1: and he was like, yeah, she's dead to us. But
11:39
Speaker 1: he's good at he only brings home girls now that
11:42
Speaker 1: he knows will be cool kind of. And my younger
11:45
Speaker 1: brother just learned that less in the hard way. He
11:47
Speaker 1: started dating online and the girls would say, I'm a musician,
11:50
Speaker 1: and I was like, uh, like, it's not gonna work.
11:53
Speaker 1: And he was like, well, I told her I'd bring
11:54
Speaker 1: her to the studio and this is my basement in
11:56
Speaker 1: my house. I have a child. And he had to
11:59
Speaker 1: understand why that was wrong. So I had to teach
12:01
Speaker 1: them some stuff. But now my younger brother's dating a
12:03
Speaker 1: great girl and my older brother is still single. As followed,
12:08
Speaker 1: we can try and pimp him out a little later.
12:10
Speaker 1: So and your mom were really tight. I remember meeting
12:13
Speaker 1: her a couple of times when I've met you before.
12:15
Speaker 1: Is she really involved in your career. Yeah, she would
12:18
Speaker 1: have come today. She packed my lunch and she's my assistant.
12:20
Speaker 1: She would have come today, but it's a tight room.
12:22
Speaker 1: So she was like, I'll stay back, and I was like,
12:24
Speaker 1: thanks for your sacrifice. She's just so lovely and so
12:27
Speaker 1: selfless and is the best person. And I don't I
12:30
Speaker 1: never liked having an assistant that was like a different
12:32
Speaker 1: person or I would like fall in love with them
12:34
Speaker 1: and make them my best friend forever. And for my mom,
12:37
Speaker 1: it's just she did all that stuff anyways, you know,
12:39
Speaker 1: she always took care of me. Anyways. I was like,
12:41
Speaker 1: it's kind of like an assistant is your mother in anyways,
12:44
Speaker 1: my housekeepers like my mom or nanny. She's my name. Yeah,
12:51
Speaker 1: it's nice that you have your family so close by,
12:53
Speaker 1: because so how old were you when you moved out here,
12:57
Speaker 1: like eighteen nineteen and was just so intimidating and scary.
13:02
Speaker 1: I lived in Nashville for a year and I wrote
13:05
Speaker 1: all about that base there, and then at exactly a year,
13:07
Speaker 1: they were like, hey, you have to move out of
13:09
Speaker 1: Nashville and go to l A. And and I would
13:12
Speaker 1: come out here like when I was eighteen for a
13:14
Speaker 1: little weeks at a time for songwriting trips and I'd
13:17
Speaker 1: stay at a hotel. That stuff was scary for sure,
13:20
Speaker 1: which there's like a community like I wish I was there.
13:28
Speaker 1: I was in the motails, I was in the spooky
13:30
Speaker 1: places are like Airbnb is that I shouldn't have been in.
13:33
Speaker 1: But I had like an older friend who could drink
13:36
Speaker 1: and I was under age, so we would walk to
13:37
Speaker 1: a liquor store and she would get it and there's
13:40
Speaker 1: like a guy just as the joker. And I was like,
13:42
Speaker 1: this is where I'm gonna die, Like this is having
13:43
Speaker 1: to die in l A And nineteen years old, I
13:46
Speaker 1: called my mom. I was like, this is it. I'm
13:47
Speaker 1: about to get married. But I lived. And how was
13:52
Speaker 1: your entree into the music industry, Like what was your
13:55
Speaker 1: first big First of all, are you still with the
13:57
Speaker 1: same label that you were when you are? Oh that's
14:00
Speaker 1: a success story. Well you're trapped, you know what I mean?
14:03
Speaker 1: Love them though they're great, They're so great. I love them,
14:08
Speaker 1: but I'm on my have five albums, so I'm like
14:10
Speaker 1: about to start my fifth one eventually, you know. So
14:13
Speaker 1: I got one mower with them, and Christmas don't count.
14:16
Speaker 1: It doesn't count. But yeah, they're they're great. And I
14:21
Speaker 1: when I wrote Base, like l a Read was at
14:23
Speaker 1: the I was at Epic Records at the time, and
14:25
Speaker 1: he signed me and was like this is gonna be huge,
14:28
Speaker 1: and I was like and I was like a baby songwriter.
14:31
Speaker 1: And when people signed me as a songwriter, I took
14:33
Speaker 1: that as like I was insecure about my looks and
14:35
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, that confirmed it. They think I
14:37
Speaker 1: should be behind the scenes, like writing songs for the
14:39
Speaker 1: pop stars. And then when l a Read saw me
14:42
Speaker 1: and was like, well, I need whoever singing this song
14:44
Speaker 1: to just sing the song. And I was like hello,
14:46
Speaker 1: and he was like that face he said that to me.
14:49
Speaker 1: I was like this face was like yeah. I was
14:51
Speaker 1: like okay, and then I just like held on type
14:55
Speaker 1: for dear life and was like I've always wanted to
14:57
Speaker 1: be a pop star, but I didn't know anyone would
14:58
Speaker 1: believe in me, and I just held on and faked
15:01
Speaker 1: it till I made it. You know, Wow, how great
15:04
Speaker 1: of a story is that? Every day I'm like, well,
15:06
Speaker 1: funk am I doing here? Everybody feels that way too.
15:10
Speaker 1: I'm like, who's confident? People are always going to be
15:14
Speaker 1: You're so confident. I'm like if I'm so confident. I
15:16
Speaker 1: don't feel that confident. I just you know. They're like, yeah,
15:19
Speaker 1: they're like, you write these anthems, you're so calm, like
15:21
Speaker 1: they're for me, is like my therapy, like a girl.
15:25
Speaker 1: And how do you know when a song is going
15:26
Speaker 1: to hit? Like, like when do you find out that
15:28
Speaker 1: a song is? How long does it take before you
15:31
Speaker 1: know that it's gonna skyrocket the way it has? For
15:34
Speaker 1: this last song, your most recent I always asked because
15:36
Speaker 1: I was signed to a company that had big country writers,
15:39
Speaker 1: and I always asked them like, how do you know
15:41
Speaker 1: it's a hit, And they're like, oh, you never know.
15:43
Speaker 1: Like I thought Bass was my least best song out
15:45
Speaker 1: of everything. I was like, the all of the base one,
15:48
Speaker 1: that's the one they like. My parents were like this
15:49
Speaker 1: song out of all the other pop songs you have,
15:52
Speaker 1: but that one. I remember the music video came out
15:55
Speaker 1: and I was so embarrassed in my high school friends
15:56
Speaker 1: would see me like in address because I wear all
15:58
Speaker 1: black and I'm like in hoodies, and I was like,
16:00
Speaker 1: oh my god, they're gonna make fun of me. And
16:02
Speaker 1: then when it hit twenty thousand views, I was like,
16:06
Speaker 1: well that was fast and then it's started to get
16:09
Speaker 1: up to a million and I was like, oh, like
16:11
Speaker 1: a million people have seen this, and then Justin Bieber
16:14
Speaker 1: did a remix of it, and I called my brother
16:16
Speaker 1: who was in Florida and college, and I was like,
16:18
Speaker 1: you gotta drop out, bro, Like it's over. We gotta
16:21
Speaker 1: move to l A like we're so famous now, Bro,
16:24
Speaker 1: it's done. But like nowadays, with TikTok, this song made
16:30
Speaker 1: you look. We were looking at the numbers of how
16:32
Speaker 1: many people made a video to that song, and once
16:35
Speaker 1: it got to like a hundred thousand remakes, were like, oh,
16:38
Speaker 1: we got something. And then now it's at like millions.
16:42
Speaker 1: What is it? Pepe? He'll tell you behind if you
16:44
Speaker 1: ask three point four three people people have made a
16:50
Speaker 1: video to that song, Oh my god. And so we're
16:52
Speaker 1: like you, that's when you're good, when you're peeking on TikTok. Yeah, yeah,
16:59
Speaker 1: that's good. Well, con aratulations on that success fun for you, right,
17:03
Speaker 1: and you so deserve it because you're so normal. I
17:06
Speaker 1: like that about you. Everyone says that about you. I mean, well,
17:08
Speaker 1: not everybody, but the people we have in common. Whenever
17:11
Speaker 1: I say something about you, know how much I like you.
17:13
Speaker 1: Everyone's like she's just so normal and down to earth,
17:16
Speaker 1: and you know you are. You're a good girl. So
17:19
Speaker 1: on this podcast. Okay, get ready, Megan, this is where
17:21
Speaker 1: your life skills are going to come into play. Okay.
17:24
Speaker 1: People are calling and they're some people are fucked up
17:27
Speaker 1: and then help and we need to give it to them, right,
17:30
Speaker 1: and this is the way we give back charity. I
17:33
Speaker 1: love this. Yes, yes, I actually did pick some especially
17:38
Speaker 1: funked up ones for you, Megan, because I know you're
17:40
Speaker 1: like honest and real and so I'm honest and really
17:43
Speaker 1: I'll tell you about my anal fishes. I'll do anything
17:47
Speaker 1: fisher an fisher currently yeah, yeah, I didn't know if
17:53
Speaker 1: you said fish. I didn't know if that was something.
17:54
Speaker 1: I didn't know about an anal fish. It's a slice
17:59
Speaker 1: of myne. I recently had somebody telling me about their
18:02
Speaker 1: anal fissure. It's a thing. Yeah, And I didn't know
18:05
Speaker 1: the thing until I have a lot of game managers
18:06
Speaker 1: and they were like, girl, let me tell you. And
18:08
Speaker 1: I was like, right, this thing is crazy. From having
18:11
Speaker 1: a baby, I guess so, but I didn't push out mine.
18:13
Speaker 1: I got c section. No, I think it's my hard
18:17
Speaker 1: poops and I asked a doctor and she was like,
18:19
Speaker 1: I was like, I eat really clean, Like I'm healthier
18:22
Speaker 1: than ever. I drank a gown of water. She's like,
18:23
Speaker 1: I wish it was as simple as change your diet.
18:26
Speaker 1: She's like, some people just have hard poops and have
18:28
Speaker 1: to live off a mirror lax and so I'm a
18:29
Speaker 1: mirror lax bitch. Now really, yeah, nothing works for you
18:33
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom. It makes it soft unless
18:35
Speaker 1: I have like burning Indian hot food. You know, have
18:38
Speaker 1: you ever tried magnesium? Oh? Three? Do you know what?
18:41
Speaker 1: I used? The pop magnesium. I'll try that when three
18:44
Speaker 1: is like a game changer for me. Magnesium And everyone's
18:46
Speaker 1: like I've heard that lately. It's like if you do
18:50
Speaker 1: four of those a night. I did this once on
18:52
Speaker 1: Instagram and I can't tell you how many people are like,
18:54
Speaker 1: you don't understand. You changed my poop game. And actually
18:57
Speaker 1: I only used it for a period of time and
18:59
Speaker 1: I don't you it anymore and it's still working. Okay,
19:03
Speaker 1: I'm going to send it to you. Okay, so should
19:06
Speaker 1: we take a quick break and we'll be right back.
19:08
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Okay, we're taking a quick break and
19:15
Speaker 1: we're back amazing, Megan, you're living for that life. We
19:20
Speaker 1: just look so good now. It looks like Powder from
19:23
Speaker 1: the movie Powder. It's like we try to get you
19:25
Speaker 1: almost blown out, and then you're just like you can't
19:27
Speaker 1: see any flows. It's great. It's almost like when I
19:30
Speaker 1: try to explain it to straight men for music videos.
19:33
Speaker 1: I'm like Kardashian, like Mariah Carry like I want you
19:36
Speaker 1: to be like, is she there? Is she not there?
19:38
Speaker 1: Like a clear Okay, that's what I want. Well, we're
19:43
Speaker 1: gonna start with a collar today, ladies. Are you ready
19:46
Speaker 1: for this? Okay, I'm ready. We're ready a stop most
19:48
Speaker 1: Alista's my first collar is Anne, she says. Dear Chelsea,
19:52
Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven years old and at that exciting time
19:55
Speaker 1: of my life where it seems like all my friends
19:57
Speaker 1: are getting married. I'm planning a pretty big sing myself,
20:00
Speaker 1: and I've already invited all my college friends and their
20:03
Speaker 1: significant others. The problem is, I met my friend's boyfriend
20:07
Speaker 1: for the first time at a wedding recently, and to
20:09
Speaker 1: say he left a bad impression on me would be
20:11
Speaker 1: an understatement. He got drunk to the point of being
20:14
Speaker 1: cut off from the bar and was yelling profanities to
20:17
Speaker 1: our friend and several bridesmaids, calling them bitches, among other things.
20:22
Speaker 1: At all. I also learned that this is not the
20:25
Speaker 1: first time he's behaved like this during a night out.
20:29
Speaker 1: My friend ended the night in tears, embarrassed over her
20:31
Speaker 1: boyfriend's behavior and swears he is the nicest guy until
20:35
Speaker 1: he drinks too much. She sees it as an innocent mistake,
20:38
Speaker 1: but I see it as a consistent pattern of abuse
20:41
Speaker 1: when he drinks. My fiance and mom have both told
20:44
Speaker 1: me that I should uninvite him to our wedding if
20:46
Speaker 1: there's a risk of him becoming angry over drinking or
20:49
Speaker 1: picking fights with other guests. I do agree with them,
20:52
Speaker 1: but I also think it could be possible for him
20:54
Speaker 1: to clean up his act before our wedding next summer.
20:56
Speaker 1: How do I bring up my concerns about his behavior
20:59
Speaker 1: to my friend with damaging our years long friendship? Sincerely, Anne, Hi, Hi, Anne, Hi?
21:06
Speaker 1: How are you guys? This is our special guest, Megan
21:09
Speaker 1: Trainers here today. Oh my gosh, Hi Megan. Okay, So
21:15
Speaker 1: is that the first time you've seen him act like that?
21:17
Speaker 1: That's actually the first time I've ever met him, So Yeah,
21:21
Speaker 1: that's the first time I've seen him act like that,
21:24
Speaker 1: and according to my other friends who actually live in
21:26
Speaker 1: the same city as her, this is like common, so
21:30
Speaker 1: that made me super uncomfortable. And are you going to
21:33
Speaker 1: see him at all before the wedding? Are do you? Guys?
21:35
Speaker 1: The only trip that I will is if I visit
21:39
Speaker 1: my hometown, or maybe he'll come to like another friend's
21:43
Speaker 1: wedding that's before mine. There's like a ton of us
21:45
Speaker 1: getting married all within the next year, so it's possible,
21:49
Speaker 1: but I don't usually like see this group of friends
21:52
Speaker 1: unless we all get together in a big group, so
21:55
Speaker 1: most likely not. I feel like you can't judge somebody
21:58
Speaker 1: on one interaction, of matter what anyone else is telling you.
22:01
Speaker 1: If it happens twice, you absolutely have carte blanche to
22:04
Speaker 1: be like, No, I've seen him twice and he's a
22:07
Speaker 1: hot mess two times, but on one interaction. I just
22:10
Speaker 1: really don't think it's fair to judge somebody because anybody
22:12
Speaker 1: could be having the worst situation. I know you've heard
22:15
Speaker 1: that he acted like that, but you didn't witness it yourself. Yeah, totally.
22:19
Speaker 1: You've heard that he's done that multiple times. Yeah, Like
22:23
Speaker 1: there was one of my friends who was also at
22:25
Speaker 1: the wedding. She said, oh, yeah, there was another time
22:27
Speaker 1: where we were out and unprovoked, he just called me ugly,
22:30
Speaker 1: like out of the blue. He was like, you're really
22:32
Speaker 1: effing ugly. So it's just like things like that that.
22:35
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want any negative energy. I want
22:39
Speaker 1: to be called ugly at your wedding. Why why not?
22:43
Speaker 1: I don't want my friends to be called ugly at
22:45
Speaker 1: my wedding. I don't care. I don't care what he
22:46
Speaker 1: thinks about me. Well, I mean, you can always have
22:49
Speaker 1: him removed from the wedding if he acts like an asshole,
22:52
Speaker 1: I mean calling women bitches? Is I have more of
22:54
Speaker 1: a problem with that than him being drunk, you know
22:55
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like that's kind of the grossest s
22:57
Speaker 1: part because there were other like a lot of the boyfriends,
23:01
Speaker 1: to be unfair, like a lot of them were drinking heavily.
23:05
Speaker 1: So but I can forgive stupid behavior. It's when you're
23:09
Speaker 1: being an absolute asshole to women and like being disrespectful
23:13
Speaker 1: that made me really uncomfortable. And then my friend was
23:17
Speaker 1: in tears on the shuttle ride home because she was like,
23:20
Speaker 1: he always does this, and then he says he's gonna stop,
23:23
Speaker 1: and then it happens again like months later. So it
23:26
Speaker 1: was like coming from her first hand, that's what made
23:28
Speaker 1: me like, really sad, Okay, I think dude's got a problem. Yeah,
23:33
Speaker 1: when you can't control your booze like that multiple times,
23:36
Speaker 1: there's an issue. Also, I just want you to know
23:39
Speaker 1: I got married, I did all that, and it was like,
23:41
Speaker 1: who do I invite? Who do I'm not I'm gonna
23:43
Speaker 1: make I'm gonna hurt people, funk all that. This is
23:45
Speaker 1: your wedding. If you hear another incident happens, you're allowed
23:49
Speaker 1: the day before to be like that's okay, I would
23:52
Speaker 1: I don't want him to come because I heard of that.
23:55
Speaker 1: You know you can keep him invited this whole time,
23:57
Speaker 1: and if you hear one more thing, I say, buck it,
24:00
Speaker 1: your wedding, your rules. Who cares? Why any wants to bailings? Yeah,
24:04
Speaker 1: I know. That's one of the hardest things I've had
24:08
Speaker 1: with planning a wedding is making sure that I don't
24:11
Speaker 1: kiss other people, not kiss other people off. But I'm
24:14
Speaker 1: a people blazer. I want my parents to be happy,
24:16
Speaker 1: friends to be happy. I want to have a good time,
24:18
Speaker 1: so that's been a challenge to navigate with such a
24:22
Speaker 1: big guest list, and I wish we could just nukea
24:24
Speaker 1: and alope, it'll make you crazy. I had like a
24:28
Speaker 1: hundred people because it was my backyard and I couldn't
24:29
Speaker 1: fit that many people. So I had to say no
24:31
Speaker 1: to a lot of people. And I'll tell you what,
24:34
Speaker 1: nobody was mad or they didn't tell me to my face.
24:37
Speaker 1: So in my head, I'm like, we slayd that. But
24:39
Speaker 1: I let you know, I cut so many people off. Yeah,
24:43
Speaker 1: you can't really say to anyone, well, I mean if
24:46
Speaker 1: it's your friend, but you can't really say why didn't
24:48
Speaker 1: you invite me to your wedding? Yeah, someone someone didn't
24:53
Speaker 1: say that to me, and I was like, I've said that.
24:56
Speaker 1: I got over it, So what are you thinking now?
24:59
Speaker 1: After talk you to ask what do you think? I mean?
25:01
Speaker 1: When this first happened, I was very in the mind
25:04
Speaker 1: of like because my fiance actually couldn't come to this wedding.
25:07
Speaker 1: So I was telling him all about it the next day.
25:09
Speaker 1: And he has a problematic friend who we actually who's
25:12
Speaker 1: like a way closer friend that we decided not to
25:15
Speaker 1: invite because of his behavior. So he was like, well,
25:18
Speaker 1: you know, we've decided to nix this person. This guy
25:22
Speaker 1: was being really rude to like all your friends. I
25:24
Speaker 1: think we should cut him off. So at first I'm like, Okay,
25:27
Speaker 1: I think I agree with you. After letting the dust settle,
25:30
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I just want to
25:32
Speaker 1: let it ride and just hope for the best. So
25:35
Speaker 1: that's kind of where I was at even before this call.
25:38
Speaker 1: I think that's maybe where I'm at. Just letting him come, Yeah,
25:42
Speaker 1: I need have till summer, right, And you can also
25:45
Speaker 1: if he is an asshole at the wedding. I mean,
25:46
Speaker 1: obviously this isn't an ideal situation, but you can have
25:49
Speaker 1: him removed. Then you don't have to have the conversation
25:52
Speaker 1: with her ever, because that happened. Yeah, And I think
25:56
Speaker 1: if you do decide to let him come and like
25:58
Speaker 1: not disinvite him, I think you need to make this
26:01
Speaker 1: someone else's assignment so it doesn't become your problem. So
26:05
Speaker 1: maybe there's a couple of really good guy friends who
26:06
Speaker 1: are like, look, we all know how he acted at
26:08
Speaker 1: SO and So's wedding. I need you two guys. If
26:11
Speaker 1: he's getting belligerent, tell whoever needs to be told to
26:14
Speaker 1: kick him out of the wedding, but don't let it
26:16
Speaker 1: be like people are coming to you being like, hey,
26:19
Speaker 1: somebody's being an asshole. Pre empt it. But I also
26:22
Speaker 1: feel like there's a lot of emotion coming up for
26:24
Speaker 1: you with this, and you might be sort of peeking
26:27
Speaker 1: out of the corner of your eye at what's going
26:29
Speaker 1: to happen. If you feel like you want to disinvite him,
26:32
Speaker 1: you can. These girls are right, it is your wedding,
26:35
Speaker 1: and then just send this to that friend. I was
26:40
Speaker 1: like having my fingers crossed that my friends aren't listening
26:42
Speaker 1: to this because I don't want to put two and
26:44
Speaker 1: two together. Well, somebody that you know will hear this
26:47
Speaker 1: and put two and two together. So there's no right. Okay,
26:52
Speaker 1: we're using a pseudony, but so you have all conflicting advice. Sorry,
26:59
Speaker 1: we suck. No, that's good. We have different perspectives. I
27:03
Speaker 1: don't think it's going to be a big deal, but
27:05
Speaker 1: I do think if he does something again before you know,
27:07
Speaker 1: if you hear that, you I think you have to
27:09
Speaker 1: witness it yourself. Everyone telling you information it's never accurate,
27:13
Speaker 1: and I'm sure your friends aren't lying to you. But
27:15
Speaker 1: I'm just like it's not fair to based on hearsay
27:18
Speaker 1: say that. I would say it's fair based on him
27:21
Speaker 1: calling women bitches for you to go, uh, sorry, but
27:24
Speaker 1: your boyfriend was calling women bitches. If you want to
27:27
Speaker 1: have the conversation, that's the opener. Yeah, And is there
27:30
Speaker 1: a way you could talk to your friend and be like, hey,
27:34
Speaker 1: maybe you guys have an agreement for my wedding that
27:36
Speaker 1: he just doesn't drink. Maybe he can have an edible
27:38
Speaker 1: beforehand or whatever, but maybe this isn't so. The day after,
27:45
Speaker 1: he actually did text me and a bunch of our
27:48
Speaker 1: other friends, and you could tell that. It was like
27:51
Speaker 1: my friend told him the next day, like, you did this,
27:54
Speaker 1: you need to apologize. So I never responded because I
27:57
Speaker 1: was gonna like, actually wait to see what you guys
28:00
Speaker 1: said and like think on it some more. But I
28:02
Speaker 1: think maybe responding to that might be a good way
28:05
Speaker 1: to open the conversation and engage how they're feeling. A
28:08
Speaker 1: couple of months after the fact, what was the text
28:10
Speaker 1: that he sent. It was basically like, Oh, I'm I
28:13
Speaker 1: just wanted to let you know I'm really sorry for
28:15
Speaker 1: the way I acted last night. I know that was
28:17
Speaker 1: like not a good impression, just stuff like that, and
28:20
Speaker 1: then saying that he loves my friend more than anything
28:23
Speaker 1: in the world, and like he didn't mean to hurt
28:25
Speaker 1: our feelings, but it wasn't owning what he did. It
28:29
Speaker 1: was just more it came off for as like my
28:32
Speaker 1: girlfriend told me to apologize, but he was honestly so
28:36
Speaker 1: drunk that I don't think he remembers doing. Yeah, maybe
28:40
Speaker 1: there's a conversation there, even directly with him and also
28:43
Speaker 1: maybe separately with your friend of like, hey, you know
28:46
Speaker 1: how much I love her. I'm so excited to have
28:49
Speaker 1: her at my wedding. And I know you guys are
28:51
Speaker 1: a couple of we want you to be there too.
28:52
Speaker 1: Maybe this is the time that you, like, don't drink
28:55
Speaker 1: if you want to do me a solid. I would
28:57
Speaker 1: really appreciate that. Yeah, I think that's a good a
29:00
Speaker 1: good point. And then you know, I still have your
29:03
Speaker 1: friends keep an eye on him. Yeah. I like that
29:06
Speaker 1: idea too. I thought a lot. And then I don't.
29:08
Speaker 1: Hopefully I don't have to hear about it exactly exactly.
29:13
Speaker 1: All right, Well, let us know what happens, and good luck. Okay,
29:16
Speaker 1: thank you guys, it was great to chat with you. Okay,
29:19
Speaker 1: take care bye. Okay, Well that was a confusing well
29:24
Speaker 1: mostly for yeah, sorry, I came in hot. He's a
29:28
Speaker 1: definitely that was good, but we just saw how different
29:32
Speaker 1: videos somehow You're like let him in. I was like,
29:36
Speaker 1: fucking well. Our next question comes from Shantal and this
29:42
Speaker 1: is just an email, so she won't be joining us.
29:44
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty six year old registered nurse.
29:47
Speaker 1: My depression started in my late teens, and I've been
29:50
Speaker 1: on antidepressants for three years now. Medication has completely changed
29:54
Speaker 1: my life in the last few years. I graduated from
29:57
Speaker 1: two universities with degrees, started my dream career during a pandemic,
30:01
Speaker 1: and met my fiancee. We're getting married in September and
30:05
Speaker 1: planned to start having children immediately after. My worry is
30:09
Speaker 1: that I will develop postpartum depression. I don't have much
30:12
Speaker 1: family history of mental illness, and my depression started when
30:15
Speaker 1: I started birth control pills, so I'm hoping it'll go
30:17
Speaker 1: away when I stop those. Although I'll have my baby
30:20
Speaker 1: to live for and to protect and love, I'm scared
30:23
Speaker 1: of being a failure. What should I do to prepare myself?
30:26
Speaker 1: Thank you? Shantal? WHOA wow? Did you think that for me,
30:33
Speaker 1: I sure did. Oh yes I did. Okay. What was
30:37
Speaker 1: she worried about, though, like being on her medication at
30:40
Speaker 1: the end. I think she's mostly worried about like continuing
30:43
Speaker 1: to have depression afterward postpartum depression, and yeah, I got
30:49
Speaker 1: it ready for it, okay. So I was never on
30:53
Speaker 1: antidepressants my whole life, and like, and my family is
30:57
Speaker 1: very uneducated about that stuff. So they were like a
31:00
Speaker 1: shame part for sure, in their Massachusetts old ways. And
31:03
Speaker 1: when I was like twenty two, when I started having
31:07
Speaker 1: a terrible chemical dip in my brain and had panic disorder,
31:11
Speaker 1: and it started with like my vocal surgeries and having
31:14
Speaker 1: to be silent for so long with your thoughts. And
31:16
Speaker 1: I had my boyfriend who's my husband now, so everything
31:19
Speaker 1: was great. I was like, I'm really happy, but I
31:21
Speaker 1: have a migraine and running diarrhea. What's wrong with my body?
31:24
Speaker 1: My chemicals are so flopped that I would go to
31:26
Speaker 1: the emergency room a couple of times thinking like, oh,
31:28
Speaker 1: I'm allergic to something because I can't fucking breathe. And
31:32
Speaker 1: finally was educated and learned like, oh, this is panic attacks,
31:36
Speaker 1: this is what everyone's been talking about, and this is
31:38
Speaker 1: my early twenties mount to breakdown. And it was wonderful
31:43
Speaker 1: because I figured it out. And I saw a psychiatrist
31:46
Speaker 1: who said, like, we can give you anti depressants and
31:48
Speaker 1: I was like, ah, man, no one in my family
31:50
Speaker 1: is on those. I don't know anything about those. I've
31:52
Speaker 1: just heard so much shame growing up of like you're
31:55
Speaker 1: on a pill. So I was like, please, I'm desperate
31:58
Speaker 1: for anything. And he told me how there's four different
32:01
Speaker 1: types and one might work for you and one might not.
32:04
Speaker 1: And I the first one I did worked and I like,
32:06
Speaker 1: it was like all the scary noise stopped and I
32:09
Speaker 1: was like yes, and it was the best. I'm on
32:12
Speaker 1: like the lowest. I'm on twenty milligrams of site tele abram.
32:15
Speaker 1: That's what I popped every night, and then um, it
32:18
Speaker 1: was amazing and I never never had a panic attack
32:21
Speaker 1: ever since. And I was like, I am cured. I
32:23
Speaker 1: take I've been on it for like over five years.
32:25
Speaker 1: A little bit cannot recommended enough. Then I was like,
32:27
Speaker 1: I want a baby. And I talked to my doctors
32:30
Speaker 1: and was like, what's the deal? Am I good? And
32:32
Speaker 1: all of my doctor said this one is safe. Don't
32:35
Speaker 1: take any of the heavy stuff, which I wasn't taking anyway,
32:37
Speaker 1: So it was fine. I was on like the lowest
32:40
Speaker 1: thing of ad Evan and I that was for emergencies.
32:43
Speaker 1: That was the same one you were already on. They
32:45
Speaker 1: said it was safe. Yeah my side, Tyler Bram was safe.
32:49
Speaker 1: My first O b g y N doctor said, oh,
32:53
Speaker 1: give her of those candies, and I wanted to stab
32:55
Speaker 1: him in the eye. I was like, you don't know
32:57
Speaker 1: what I went through all this, Like what do you
33:00
Speaker 1: mean throw them in the track? You? Like, I need
33:02
Speaker 1: a plan too if I have to get off them,
33:05
Speaker 1: to wean off them and figure out what's going on.
33:07
Speaker 1: When all my other doctor said it's safe, stay on
33:09
Speaker 1: it because a happy mama is happy baby, and I
33:13
Speaker 1: was so scared of like, dude, with my panic attacks
33:15
Speaker 1: come back, Like I got to get off these pills.
33:17
Speaker 1: But if they come back and I have postpartum depression
33:20
Speaker 1: like everyone else has, it's going to be extra worse
33:22
Speaker 1: for me, I feel like. And I stayed on my
33:25
Speaker 1: meds because all of my doctors cleared it and said
33:26
Speaker 1: it's fine. I got a new O b g y
33:28
Speaker 1: N because fun, that old guy, and she was so
33:32
Speaker 1: nice to me and was like, this is great. I
33:33
Speaker 1: stayed on it through my whole pregnancy and had an amazing,
33:36
Speaker 1: healthy pregnancy and gave birth to a perfect, beautiful boy,
33:40
Speaker 1: and stayed all my medicine after I had zero depression
33:44
Speaker 1: in my pregnancy. I had zero postpartum depression. And I
33:48
Speaker 1: couldn't recommend staying on it more if you're in a routine,
33:51
Speaker 1: in a system. It was everything for me. And I
33:54
Speaker 1: want to have another baby and I'm on the same
33:56
Speaker 1: exact dose. And I talked to my doctor like, yo,
33:59
Speaker 1: I'm trying to have an other baby. Are we good?
34:01
Speaker 1: He's like, we good. If you like you want to
34:03
Speaker 1: switch it up, we can. But I just love my
34:06
Speaker 1: little pills every night. I hear your sister, I mean
34:10
Speaker 1: I do. That's so great. Is this woman on antidepressants
34:14
Speaker 1: right now though she's on them? Yeah, And she said
34:17
Speaker 1: it was everything was great. Yeah. And also but also
34:20
Speaker 1: worrying about something that may not happen. It's like it's
34:23
Speaker 1: also suffering twice. Yes, there's no reason to suffer. There's
34:28
Speaker 1: no reason to worry or stress out all your doctors
34:31
Speaker 1: if everyone's clear, as are you good or exactly? And
34:35
Speaker 1: I think also if you do have any concerns about
34:37
Speaker 1: that or things getting bad, just being really consistent conversation
34:40
Speaker 1: with your doctor and be talking through it, get in therapy,
34:44
Speaker 1: whatever you need to do to sort of like smooth
34:46
Speaker 1: over that bump. If if in in fact you do
34:49
Speaker 1: get some postpartment right now too is they don't do it.
34:52
Speaker 1: I wish they did it at all your appointments when
34:54
Speaker 1: you're pregnant, but after you're pregnant and you have your baby,
34:56
Speaker 1: go to pediatrician's office. Every single appointment is a piece
35:00
Speaker 1: of paper for how's your kid doing? How do you
35:02
Speaker 1: feel about it? And there's a piece of paper just
35:04
Speaker 1: for mama, Mama, how you feeling? Like, oh my god,
35:07
Speaker 1: I was like when did this come out? A week ago?
35:12
Speaker 1: Literally this week? And I was like, this is so
35:15
Speaker 1: helpful and great, thank you for making me answer these questions. Well,
35:19
Speaker 1: so there you go, ask for help and also, don't
35:21
Speaker 1: worry about something before it happens. That is just so.
35:24
Speaker 1: I know. It's easier said than done, but you have
35:26
Speaker 1: to practice flipping your switch and flipping those thoughts into
35:29
Speaker 1: a positive thing. You know. Knocked up, Yeah, yeah, well
35:33
Speaker 1: she is knocked up, isn't she? Or she get trying
35:35
Speaker 1: to get try. She's gonna try soon. I thought she
35:37
Speaker 1: was very pregnant. Okay, yeah, well first get pregnant, way
35:40
Speaker 1: far down the road worrying about this, so yeah, yeah,
35:43
Speaker 1: he'll be a okay, I promise Yeah. Our next caller
35:51
Speaker 1: is Teresa. Teresa says, Dear Chelsea, I'm twenty eight. I
35:56
Speaker 1: went to your show in Kansas City and cried laughing.
35:59
Speaker 1: I wanted to thank you for of vulnerability and strength
36:01
Speaker 1: you gave when you spoke about your breakup on the
36:03
Speaker 1: We Can Do Hard Things podcast. I listened to it
36:05
Speaker 1: once when it came out and cried with you, and
36:07
Speaker 1: once again to get the confidence and encouragement to break
36:10
Speaker 1: up with my boyfriend of four years. Something I've struggled
36:14
Speaker 1: with the last few years has been knowing the difference
36:16
Speaker 1: between anxiety and intuition in my body. As I learned
36:20
Speaker 1: to differentiate the two, I finally came to understand what
36:23
Speaker 1: you meant when you said I wasn't going to abandon
36:25
Speaker 1: myself as a recovering people pleaser. I realized how often
36:29
Speaker 1: I was abandoning myself in my relationship. So thank you
36:32
Speaker 1: for planting this seed. My question has to do with
36:35
Speaker 1: moving on. I moved out of my excess home and
36:37
Speaker 1: now I am living in my parents basement, which feels
36:40
Speaker 1: like a total step backwards after being so independent. My
36:44
Speaker 1: impulse and tendency after a major loss is to sell everything,
36:47
Speaker 1: move to a new city, new job, new apartment, cut
36:50
Speaker 1: off my hair, and start over. So naturally, that's what
36:53
Speaker 1: I'm considering. I'm currently a nanny for a very stable
36:56
Speaker 1: and supportive family, but they live forty five minutes from
36:59
Speaker 1: my parents house. I feel confident I can get a
37:01
Speaker 1: job anywhere, and I have a brother in extended family
37:03
Speaker 1: in Georgia and friends in Florida who have both offered
37:06
Speaker 1: a place to stay so I can get on my feet.
37:08
Speaker 1: It feels like the perfect getaway. But am I too
37:11
Speaker 1: old to be running away and starting over? I have
37:13
Speaker 1: a stable support system here where I am, but I
37:16
Speaker 1: finally feel free, like this world is my oyster. I
37:19
Speaker 1: just don't want to make an impulsive decision. Please help, Teresa. Hi, Teresa, Teresa, dude,
37:25
Speaker 1: I forgot that they come in here and I'm like,
37:30
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, it's her Hill. This
37:34
Speaker 1: is Megan and Trainer. She's our guest today. So Hi,
37:39
Speaker 1: You're so cute. Look, are you too old that that
37:44
Speaker 1: that right there is? If you're saying that, the answer
37:46
Speaker 1: is no, No, it doesn't matter at all. Like, it's
37:51
Speaker 1: whatever you're feeling. When you have a good attitude towards
37:53
Speaker 1: it and you have excitement, that begets more excitement and
37:57
Speaker 1: more good vibes and more good attitude. So if you're
37:59
Speaker 1: already feel in that way, everything's gonna work out. It
38:01
Speaker 1: doesn't matter which decision you make, as long as your
38:04
Speaker 1: attitude is in the right place and you're optimistic and energized,
38:08
Speaker 1: you're hot, you're gorgeous. Yet Oh my god, those are
38:16
Speaker 1: I'm dying. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I think that's kind of
38:21
Speaker 1: my main thing. It's like I have I'm just at
38:23
Speaker 1: this work in a road where I know that it
38:25
Speaker 1: will be okay either way, but I just I don't
38:28
Speaker 1: want the fear of choosing the wrong thing to limit me.
38:33
Speaker 1: And I think that's what I keep doing, and I
38:35
Speaker 1: keep getting anxious about it, and then like prolonging it.
38:38
Speaker 1: I need to make a decision and do it, or
38:40
Speaker 1: else I am going to be stuck here in my
38:43
Speaker 1: baran space net forever. And that thought is really what's
38:47
Speaker 1: driving me crazy. Whatever decision you make is going to
38:49
Speaker 1: be the right one. It'll work out. I remember going
38:52
Speaker 1: on stage once and I was reading a chapter from
38:54
Speaker 1: one of my books. It was like for my book launch,
38:56
Speaker 1: and I was like, I just I can't starte which
38:58
Speaker 1: chapter two read? Which chapter to read? And one of
38:59
Speaker 1: my girlfriends goes, it doesn't matter, choose one and then
39:02
Speaker 1: that's the right one, and I'm like, oh, okay. But
39:06
Speaker 1: it was true because you just have to make a
39:08
Speaker 1: decision and then stick to it. So your choices are
39:09
Speaker 1: between what Florida and Georgia. You said, Well, if I
39:12
Speaker 1: keep nannying, then I could really go anywhere. There's this
39:15
Speaker 1: agency that I've been talking to and they have families
39:18
Speaker 1: from all over California and Georgia. Like, so I'd love
39:21
Speaker 1: to go somewhere where I already have family or friends established,
39:24
Speaker 1: just because it would be nice to have some sort
39:27
Speaker 1: of support there. But yeah, I could be anywhere, so
39:30
Speaker 1: because I could live in within any family. If I
39:33
Speaker 1: find a family that I could live with, get out
39:36
Speaker 1: of the Midwest for a little bit. Yeah, and don't
39:37
Speaker 1: go to Florida. Don't not go to Florida, Georgia. Yeah,
39:41
Speaker 1: go to Atlanta, or if you mentioned California. I mean everything.
39:45
Speaker 1: Moving to California is just a dream for anyone who's
39:48
Speaker 1: not from here. You just can't believe it when you
39:51
Speaker 1: get here. Yeah, and I have family there and one
39:53
Speaker 1: of my best friends lives there, so like, honestly, California
39:56
Speaker 1: would be ideal. But it's just I have to find
39:59
Speaker 1: the right fit it. And the timing is kind of
40:03
Speaker 1: important as well, just because the family that I work
40:05
Speaker 1: for now once ninety days and so like the timing
40:08
Speaker 1: of looking for something and then making the jump, it
40:11
Speaker 1: just it feels like it has to be perfect. But
40:14
Speaker 1: I think I just need to go for it and
40:16
Speaker 1: get it started. I guess, yeah, I think you need
40:19
Speaker 1: to take the plunge and just figure it out. Go
40:21
Speaker 1: to Atlanta or go to California. Just flip you literally
40:24
Speaker 1: flip a coindly. It's gonna be right, It's gonna be great. Yeah. Nowadays,
40:30
Speaker 1: when I'm deciding, like what job to take, like as
40:33
Speaker 1: a singer, I'm like, should I take this opportunity to
40:35
Speaker 1: be on this TV show? Like is that what I'm
40:37
Speaker 1: supposed to do with my career? Where am I going?
40:39
Speaker 1: I just, um, I think it was an Oprah or
40:42
Speaker 1: someone that was like, douche it that scares you. It
40:44
Speaker 1: probably wasn't, Oprah, but yeah, but I've been doing stuff
40:47
Speaker 1: that scares me, and it's been like my career is
40:50
Speaker 1: just going up up, like the scarier the thing is,
40:53
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, let's go. It's like the better for me. Okay,
40:56
Speaker 1: Well that's basically what this is. So and also it's
40:59
Speaker 1: it's also impressive that you got out of a relationship
41:01
Speaker 1: which forced you to move into your parents base. Met
41:04
Speaker 1: that's badass because you said you're sending to the universe
41:06
Speaker 1: that is not acceptable and you're elevating what's coming your way.
41:10
Speaker 1: So you're already winning. Yes, and you know, if you
41:14
Speaker 1: believe in all this stuff, that's your Saturn return. It's
41:18
Speaker 1: a time of change and upheaval and renewal in your life.
41:22
Speaker 1: So like, go have a fucking adventure. Yes, that's what
41:27
Speaker 1: it feels exciting for me, is the adventure. Like it
41:29
Speaker 1: is terrifying. I have my home base, which I'm really
41:33
Speaker 1: thankful for to be able to come home, but now
41:35
Speaker 1: I have like a place to keep all my stuff
41:37
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna peace out and see where life
41:40
Speaker 1: takes me because I don't have I mean like, I
41:43
Speaker 1: have good people that will support me through whatever. I
41:45
Speaker 1: always have a place to come back to. So yeah,
41:48
Speaker 1: I think I just needed that encouragement. So good, good, Well,
41:51
Speaker 1: I'm glad you got it. Yeah, thank you so much.
41:55
Speaker 1: You're so pretty doing the show. So they sent us
42:00
Speaker 1: a picture of your new boyfriend when you meet him
42:04
Speaker 1: under a palm tree somewhere put your days. Well that
42:13
Speaker 1: was easy, guys, we were all on that one with this. Well,
42:21
Speaker 1: so your Saturn return if you believe in all that,
42:23
Speaker 1: like astrology study, I love it. Are you witch? No?
42:27
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I wish I want to be a witch.
42:30
Speaker 1: I don't want to read all the books. I know
42:33
Speaker 1: it's a lot of study. It's a lot of study.
42:35
Speaker 1: So your Saturn return is a time in your life
42:37
Speaker 1: when Saturn is in the same astrological position as the
42:40
Speaker 1: moment you were born. So right around that time is
42:43
Speaker 1: when there's a lot of upheaval. There's a lot of change, renewal,
42:46
Speaker 1: a lot of times you have big life shifts like
42:49
Speaker 1: this break up, baby, you go came out. And thirty
42:55
Speaker 1: seven is also a year not Saturn returns, because how
42:58
Speaker 1: can Saturn return for your day? Every twenty seven years
43:01
Speaker 1: doesn't have to do its own thing. I think it's
43:04
Speaker 1: like wherever it was when you were born. You might
43:06
Speaker 1: not know this, but I'm an astrological wizard. Really yeah,
43:10
Speaker 1: I know pretty much everything about the solar system. I know, Megan,
43:14
Speaker 1: you and I need to do a little reading. No,
43:15
Speaker 1: I know you're talking about now the same. I am
43:20
Speaker 1: a very confused person. Okay, well, great mission accomplished. Good, Well,
43:29
Speaker 1: we have one more question. This question is from Mitchell.
43:32
Speaker 1: Mitchell is nineteen. That's kind of a harder one, he says. Hi, Chelsea,
43:37
Speaker 1: I'm a nineteen year old Gauge Ginger male, and I'm
43:39
Speaker 1: asking for your thoughts and advice on how to move
43:41
Speaker 1: forward from dealing with emotional abuse from kindergarten to sixth
43:45
Speaker 1: grade and sometime after that to start. I was born
43:48
Speaker 1: with anxiety, a learning disability, and Asperger syndrome. The earliest
43:52
Speaker 1: memories I have are from when I was six years
43:54
Speaker 1: old and in kindergarten. I remember my face being red
43:57
Speaker 1: hot and feeling scared and overwhelmed with embarrassment because my
44:01
Speaker 1: female teacher was pointing and talking out loud to me
44:04
Speaker 1: about how I didn't understand how to do whatever we
44:06
Speaker 1: were working on as much as the other kids did.
44:09
Speaker 1: After that, I remember sitting in a corner of a
44:11
Speaker 1: parent teacher conference and feeling very sad, not smart or
44:15
Speaker 1: normal at all, because my kindergarten teacher was talking about
44:18
Speaker 1: how I was not as smart as the other kids.
44:20
Speaker 1: From there on, things only got worse. Since I was
44:22
Speaker 1: a quiet, not smart, ginger kid, I got bullied and
44:25
Speaker 1: made fun of by my classmates. In particular, two girls
44:29
Speaker 1: bullied me from kindergarten till sixth grade. Today I still
44:32
Speaker 1: think about people joking about how gross it was I
44:34
Speaker 1: had ginger hair all over me and that nobody would
44:37
Speaker 1: ever love me. I was not as smart as the
44:39
Speaker 1: other kids, lonely, a loser, ugly, sad, had no friends,
44:43
Speaker 1: and of course there was name calling. I want to
44:45
Speaker 1: love myself, but I feel so scarred. So what are
44:48
Speaker 1: your thoughts on advice on how to love myself? Mitchell Mitchell?
44:53
Speaker 1: I already loved Mitchell. That breaks my heart because I'm
44:56
Speaker 1: going to have four ginger babies and like the ginger
44:59
Speaker 1: is a b Yeah, I do, and like redheads nowadays.
45:03
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but they are the
45:04
Speaker 1: most popular. I agree with that redheads have had a
45:08
Speaker 1: redheads are in vogue, so you're lucky because your timing
45:13
Speaker 1: couldn't be more perfect. And I will also say I've
45:18
Speaker 1: read a lot of emails that come into this show,
45:20
Speaker 1: and you're a very smart Mitchell, because it's one of
45:23
Speaker 1: the better written emails that I have seen. And I
45:26
Speaker 1: also believe Mitchell listen, I had a very tough time
45:28
Speaker 1: in elementary school and continue to have a tough time.
45:31
Speaker 1: And I mean, we've all been in a situation where
45:35
Speaker 1: we have been judged by others and it feels like shit,
45:39
Speaker 1: But that's not the situation you're in anymore. And if
45:42
Speaker 1: that does happen to you, it is so character building.
45:45
Speaker 1: So all you have to take away from that situation
45:47
Speaker 1: is strength, because A you survived it and b it's over,
45:52
Speaker 1: so you have like a whole opportunity for your new
45:55
Speaker 1: story to begin, and it should start today. You know
45:58
Speaker 1: that is the past. You can never affect the past.
46:01
Speaker 1: It's over. The more you focus on it, the bigger
46:03
Speaker 1: it gets. You have to move into the present moment
46:05
Speaker 1: and realize that you're not that little kid anymore. You're
46:07
Speaker 1: not defenseless, and no one's calling your names, and it's cool.
46:10
Speaker 1: To be a redhead now, agreed. And you know what,
46:13
Speaker 1: just because some people are not into redheads, other people
46:15
Speaker 1: are very into redheads, like very specifically. Yeah, I dated
46:21
Speaker 1: a redhead who had an incredible, incredible penis and I
46:25
Speaker 1: don't throwat the around they're humongous. Is it? Is it
46:29
Speaker 1: a redhead thing? It's a redhead? Oh my god? Well
46:31
Speaker 1: there you go. You redheads have the biggest penis is
46:34
Speaker 1: problem solved. It's a weird thing, but that's a thing.
46:37
Speaker 1: It's that see, yes, that's like I don't think they're pretty,
46:42
Speaker 1: but his is like god, but like the big one. Right,
46:46
Speaker 1: So you see, you get different gifts. Everybody gets different gifts.
46:49
Speaker 1: And know you're hung Oh my god, yeah you big yeah,
46:53
Speaker 1: basic red and big red dick energy. I love how
46:57
Speaker 1: Chelsea's like, move on to the presence now. But if
47:00
Speaker 1: there's something that was really traumatic, My brother just did
47:03
Speaker 1: trauma therapy. It's different than like regular therapy. He met
47:07
Speaker 1: with a trauma specialized therapist that went back. He had
47:11
Speaker 1: a slumber party when he was like in elementary school
47:14
Speaker 1: that bucked him up for a year. It was one night,
47:16
Speaker 1: but that one night really destroyed him and he I
47:21
Speaker 1: tried to be like, go to therapy, go to therapy,
47:22
Speaker 1: and he refused, and finally Dr Drew came on our
47:26
Speaker 1: podcast working on a PUD and told him like, oh,
47:29
Speaker 1: why don't you try trauma therapy? And he did that
47:32
Speaker 1: and he came home and was like, you're right. I
47:34
Speaker 1: really needed that. Like that changed, and he's been like
47:37
Speaker 1: so much happier ever since. Yeah, yeah, should I come back?
47:45
Speaker 1: I mean I lived down the street like you. Oh
47:49
Speaker 1: my god, I'm here and mom can come next time.
47:53
Speaker 1: Mama should be so happy herself. She needs her screen time.
48:00
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Yes? Yeah, no, I agree,
48:03
Speaker 1: grab some therapy, some e M d R. I don't
48:06
Speaker 1: know if that's what your brother did, but I know
48:07
Speaker 1: that's been really helpful. He did specific experiences. Yeah, well, Chelsea,
48:13
Speaker 1: anything you want to add to that, Yeah, I would
48:15
Speaker 1: just say what I said earlier, like if it was bullying,
48:18
Speaker 1: which is what I experienced. I mean, I once had
48:20
Speaker 1: a girl called me on the phone and she's like,
48:22
Speaker 1: don't come go to school tomorrow because we're gonna fucking
48:24
Speaker 1: kick your ass. And I was like, oh fuck. And
48:27
Speaker 1: they were older girls and they tormented me. I mean
48:30
Speaker 1: I kind of deserved it because I was also a tormentor,
48:33
Speaker 1: so it was a reciprocal situation. But if it was
48:36
Speaker 1: like that what I've experienced, which was name calling, Like
48:39
Speaker 1: they used to call me a dog because I looked
48:40
Speaker 1: up with a senior boy. So the senior girls hated me.
48:44
Speaker 1: And then and I walked down this hall and they
48:48
Speaker 1: would bark at me and call me a dog. They're like,
48:50
Speaker 1: you're so ugly. Woof, woof, woof, And they would follow
48:53
Speaker 1: me from class to class, to the point where my
48:55
Speaker 1: my girlfriend wouldn't even walk down the hall with me
48:57
Speaker 1: because they didn't want to get the abuse either. So,
49:00
Speaker 1: like that stuff was tortuous, but I am so strong
49:04
Speaker 1: because of it, Like no one fucks with me anymore.
49:07
Speaker 1: I know exactly what to do and that won't ever happen.
49:09
Speaker 1: And again, so also take that attitude with you. You know,
49:12
Speaker 1: people who go through stuff like that, it's to build character.
49:15
Speaker 1: You know, you have to make a good thing out
49:16
Speaker 1: of a bad thing, can't fo me? Now? Oh, well,
49:21
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we'll be right back
49:24
Speaker 1: to wrap up with Megan and Chelsea. Hey, we're back,
49:31
Speaker 1: We're back it. Well, Megan, is there any advice you
49:35
Speaker 1: would like to request Meg. Yes, I thought about this
49:39
Speaker 1: long and hard. I just want you to help me
49:42
Speaker 1: with your secrets on how you refuse to age like.
49:47
Speaker 1: I want to do everything. I want to put everything
49:50
Speaker 1: in my body that you put in your body. I
49:52
Speaker 1: will get well. My babies sore, they're real. I'm positive.
49:56
Speaker 1: Do you want to touch them? They're real? Don't know?
49:57
Speaker 1: There's no oh, there's so I know. I know I
50:02
Speaker 1: nothing fake in now. I don't have fake boobs. I
50:04
Speaker 1: don't have anything fake really what I do. But but
50:10
Speaker 1: I I know, I know, But I do like everything
50:12
Speaker 1: I can possibly do to keep my face and skin
50:16
Speaker 1: smooth and soft. And I'll give you I know you
50:20
Speaker 1: we know what. I don't even drink that much water.
50:23
Speaker 1: I mean, can you imagine how great it would be
50:24
Speaker 1: if I did drink water. I have to put like
50:27
Speaker 1: electrolyte flavors in my water to drink it, because water
50:30
Speaker 1: to be so fucking boring. But I'll give you a
50:33
Speaker 1: whole list. I do tens of stuff. And you know
50:35
Speaker 1: who I go to the who the best facialist is doctor.
50:37
Speaker 1: I've never been to a facialist. Really, to wait till
50:41
Speaker 1: you go to this woman. I go to this facialist,
50:43
Speaker 1: Dr Nigma, and she literally you get a facial and
50:46
Speaker 1: your face is lifted for like a week. And so
50:49
Speaker 1: I just go to her. Whatever I'll get. I'll give
50:51
Speaker 1: you a comprehensive list. You're young, so you don't have
50:53
Speaker 1: to start up doing I want to freeze here this
50:56
Speaker 1: forever this. Yeah right, we'll just make sure you don't
51:00
Speaker 1: get don't ever get a fun tan. That is the
51:03
Speaker 1: you know that, No, I don't you need like hats
51:05
Speaker 1: that go around the sun is your son and the
51:07
Speaker 1: devil I know start there. And because I didn't realize,
51:12
Speaker 1: I didn't learn learn about taking care of my skin
51:14
Speaker 1: until I was probably thirty five years old. That's bullshit.
51:17
Speaker 1: So there's a lot you can do. And literally, like
51:20
Speaker 1: basically what you want to do is rip your skin
51:22
Speaker 1: off once a year so that it has to recover. Yeah,
51:26
Speaker 1: you do a peel or some crazy where you have
51:29
Speaker 1: to like literally can't be seen for like, you know,
51:31
Speaker 1: a week, but it makes your skin come in baby baby,
51:35
Speaker 1: baby soft. It looks so good. Thank you, thanks for
51:38
Speaker 1: noticing God, Like, what one thing you want to ask
51:43
Speaker 1: you and n A d you guys, that's the new thing.
51:45
Speaker 1: I inject myself every day with N A D and
51:47
Speaker 1: that's a youth molecule and it's been proven it's no,
51:51
Speaker 1: I'm not joking. I have a peptide and I injected
51:53
Speaker 1: every day every morning. You can get drips or you injected,
51:56
Speaker 1: and it's the youth molecule which reverses or stops the
52:00
Speaker 1: aging process of yourselves and has been proven to also
52:03
Speaker 1: reverse the aging. Also text me that. Yeah, absolutely, I'll
52:06
Speaker 1: text you all of it. I have no secrets. I
52:08
Speaker 1: want to share it with the I want everyone to
52:09
Speaker 1: look have beautiful skin. Yeah, Chelsea, this is what I
52:12
Speaker 1: appreciate about you, because you're not like I just need
52:14
Speaker 1: a really good cream. Like No, I know everyone's so
52:17
Speaker 1: full of ship. I want the truth. I knew you
52:21
Speaker 1: would tell me. Okay, well, i'll make that list when
52:23
Speaker 1: I get home. Megan, you've been a delightful guess as usual.
52:26
Speaker 1: Congrats on everything. I just love you and I'm just
52:29
Speaker 1: happy for you. Take you. I love you so much. Day.
52:32
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. I hope I helped anybody you did.
52:36
Speaker 1: And for those of you who haven't seen my special
52:38
Speaker 1: on Netflix, it's out. Revolution is out and it's streaming
52:43
Speaker 1: and I am announcing a new tour called the Little
52:47
Speaker 1: Big Bitch Tour. I am starting again in April. I
52:51
Speaker 1: announced a bunch of cities, so it's on my Instagram
52:54
Speaker 1: and my website and whatever. But yes, I'm going back
52:58
Speaker 1: on the road and form us. I have a whole
53:01
Speaker 1: new show and a whole new thing, and I'm gonna
53:03
Speaker 1: go to our again. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea,
53:06
Speaker 1: just send us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at
53:09
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Dere Chelsea is a production of I
53:13
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law,
53:17
Speaker 1: and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.