Latest / The Psychic Explorer / My First Mediumship Reading 🔮

Transcript

My First Mediumship Reading 🔮 · The Psychic Explorer

0:08
Hello, I'm Matt and I think I'm a psychic medium.
0:16
I've always been interested in the paranormal
0:18
and the spooky and although I've been open to
0:20
it, I've also tried to err on the skeptical side.
0:24
After all, I didn't think I had had any experiences
0:27
and I certainly never thought it would have any
0:29
impact on my life. But that was then. Now I want
0:40
to explore where this gift will take me. In my
0:44
podcast I'll be exploring the challenges of discovering
0:47
a spiritual gift, the long path of development
0:49
and how this new page of my life is affecting
0:52
relationships with friends, family and myself.
0:58
So I invite you to join me as I explore my psychic
1:01
and spiritual journey as my inner skeptic and
1:04
inner medium go head -to -head in The Psychic
1:07
Explorer. Hello, I'm Matt and welcome to my podcast,
1:20
The Psychic Explorer. Thank you so much for coming
1:22
back to me for my third episode. I'll be absolutely
1:25
honest with you, last night I spent about three
1:27
hours recording this and I spent all day thinking
1:31
about it and I just had this gut feeling that
1:34
it's just not right. It just was not right. I
1:36
came downstairs and my other half said to me,
1:38
how did that go? And I said, oh, I felt really
1:42
flat of something that just did not sing about
1:45
it. So I thought, right, let's just start again.
1:48
Let's not spend a whole three hours recording
1:51
about 20 minutes of audio. Instead, let's just
1:54
try and get out in as few takes as possible.
1:57
At the end of the day, it's less editing for
1:59
me and hopefully more fluid for you guys. Last
2:04
week, I spoke about how me and my sister went
2:07
to the spiritual awareness course and how that
2:11
developed into Circle. and how that allowed me
2:15
to begin to develop my abilities. It allowed
2:19
me to question myself in a safe space. It also
2:22
allowed me to get, and I'm so sorry, I listened
2:25
to the last episode a few times and I am amazed
2:28
at the amount of times that I said the word validation.
2:31
Rather than red car, yellow car, I should have
2:34
renamed it validation. So if you picked up on
2:37
that, I'm really sorry. I'm new at this, I'm
2:41
learning as I go, so just bear with me, please.
2:46
But at the course, I was able to get that confirmation,
2:50
there you go, a new word, that confirmation from
2:53
the sitters I was reading for that there was
2:56
something going on. Things were being confirmed
2:59
within Circle and outside of Circle as well.
3:04
And I was starting to believe more in myself.
3:08
But there was always that niggle. There's always
3:09
that question in the back of my mind saying,
3:11
is this real or am I just making all this up?
3:14
And in this episode, I want to talk about my
3:17
very first reading that I did outside of circle.
3:20
It was for a family member. And I'll talk about
3:22
all the pitfalls that comes with that. But it
3:26
was a really good experience. So I had been attending
3:30
this course, which had eventually turned into
3:32
a regular circle every Tuesday evening for two
3:35
hours. people from the original course some of
3:39
those stayed some went they stepped back some
3:43
new people joined us in the in the circle and
3:46
these two hours on a Tuesday evening became really
3:49
important to me it became a space where I could
3:52
experiment it became a space where I could get
3:55
things wrong but I still found myself in this
3:59
constant battle between what I was saying the
4:02
confirmation of what the city was saying and
4:06
what my skeptical brain was saying. And that
4:08
still happens today. I'm still never 100 % sure
4:12
that this is not just me making all this up.
4:15
And if I'm honest, I don't think that should
4:17
change because I think the moment that you become
4:19
that sure of yourself is the moment that you
4:21
become the medium who stands up in front of everyone
4:24
and tells you that your grandmother is speaking
4:27
Spanish to you. And I don't want to be that.
4:30
I never want to be that. cocky I never want to
4:33
be that arrogant that egotistical so I always
4:36
hold that grain of skepticism there to hold my
4:40
ego in check and to remain humble and with that
4:44
being said by this time we had been introduced
4:47
to a number of different factors and a number
4:50
of different ideas things like oracle and tarot
4:55
cards which I still use I really like them, actually.
4:58
They are a good inspiration for when you are
5:00
about to go into a reading of some sort. Then
5:05
there was psychometry where you read the object.
5:08
There was also reading of photographs and psychometry
5:11
in the photographs. I don't know. It works for
5:16
me. It does work. But I do find that I tend to
5:20
read the photo and I read the object quite literally.
5:24
I look at when was the photo taken? Did the person
5:28
in the photo look well groomed? Are they male?
5:30
Are they female? Are they smiling? Are they looking
5:32
unhappy? Is the object that you're holding expensive?
5:36
Is it a watch for a guy? Is it a watch for a
5:40
woman? Those sort of things that you can see
5:43
give your mind clues as to where to go down,
5:48
avenues to go down to. And although I had come
5:50
out with absolutely random things, I remember
5:53
really one person's photo and it was of their
5:57
mother and I had got that much and I'd seen this
6:01
woman walking down this really well -kept street
6:04
and the feeling of pride that this woman was
6:07
able to live on such a street was so strong to
6:11
me I was able to hear the sound of her heels
6:14
on the pavement I knew that she was pushing a
6:17
pram. I could see the telephone box on the end
6:21
of the road. And I also knew that with this pride
6:24
of where she lived, there was also an awareness
6:26
that although the family had a garage, they couldn't
6:29
afford a car and she still had to use the bus
6:31
to get to places. And all of this was right.
6:36
So there's no way I could get all that from a
6:39
photo unless there was some other energy tapping
6:41
into me. But. I knew from the photo that this
6:46
woman was probably around in the 1940s and 1950s.
6:51
I knew from her dress the type of social class
6:54
she would have come from. Again, those clues,
6:56
they started to build stories and pictures and
6:59
I like to try and go in absolutely blind so that
7:04
when I come out with things, I know that they
7:08
are 100 % genuine and there's no way I could
7:11
know these things. So this was November last
7:16
year so bonfire night and for those outside of
7:19
the UK that's the 5th of November where traditionally
7:23
there are fireworks and bonfires all over the
7:27
place and it's a really lovely way to celebrate
7:29
the beginning of autumn everyone goes out with
7:33
their sparklers and they go to watch a bonfire
7:36
and there's normally lots and lots of firework
7:40
displays everywhere so it's quite noisy But it's
7:43
a real celebration and I love it because by then
7:45
the weather is cold and crisp and there's nothing
7:48
quite like warming yourself by a Massive fire
7:51
in the middle of a field. It's just it's brilliant.
7:53
It's a great tradition. So my other half's cousin
7:56
was coming to visit us She's coming with her
7:59
daughters and for the purpose of this podcast.
8:01
I'll call her Sarah I knew that she'd be open
8:05
to this sort of thing although I knew that her
8:08
dad and my other half's neutral family would
8:12
not be on board with it so I was quite nervous
8:16
so I told her and it was awkward at first but
8:20
straight away she told me that she believed me
8:23
and almost as quick as she told me that she believed
8:27
me she told me that she wanted me to read her
8:30
suddenly I became really nervous because I was
8:34
still skeptical of it I was really aware that
8:38
I was getting things right in the circle but
8:42
What if I really was making it up? The people
8:45
at circle were wanting it to be true. It was
8:48
biased they were going there because they believed
8:53
in this and I was still 60 40 maybe 65 35 There
9:01
was still that grain of doubt in my mind. I'm
9:03
very aware that when I went to circle on a Tuesday
9:06
evening I was in an echo chamber where if things
9:10
were wrong we were encouraged to look past that
9:12
and focus on what we got right. The danger with
9:16
a circle is that if the individuals who go want
9:19
it enough there's possibility that they will
9:21
make it fit. I did want it but not at the expense
9:25
of my dignity and I certainly didn't want my
9:27
worst nightmare to come true the idea that people
9:29
thought I was joining a cult blindly. So all
9:34
these Worries and nerves came rushing to the
9:38
forefront and plus she was family I'd known Sarah
9:42
for by this stage 17 years. I knew all the family
9:46
members Even though many of them had passed in
9:49
before I had met my other half I still had done
9:53
a lot of research into the family tree. I Had
9:57
visited places in the country where they lived.
10:00
I had interviewed family members about their
10:02
personalities what they liked, what they didn't
10:05
like. So I was really aware that actually if
10:10
I were to bring through the mutual grandparents
10:13
for my other half and Sarah, then who's to say
10:18
it wasn't coming from my brain? But I wanted
10:21
to test myself. I wanted to see what else came
10:23
through because there was still family members
10:25
who I was not aware of. I was not aware of Sarah's
10:28
mum's side of the family. I was not aware of
10:31
the fathers of Sarah's daughter's family. I knew
10:35
that they came from a Mediterranean country.
10:37
I knew that the girls were bilingual. That stuff
10:41
I knew, but I didn't know anything about the
10:44
family, about the dynamics. So I thought, what
10:49
a way to test myself. So I took myself upstairs
10:51
and I meditated for 10 minutes. Nothing too deep.
10:55
I can even remember thinking, I can't meditate.
10:58
I know they're downstairs. I'm too nervous. I'm
11:00
too worried. What if I fall flat on my face?
11:03
But I shut my eyes and I just kept myself quiet
11:07
for 10 minutes before I came back down. And when
11:11
I came back down, I sat at the dining room table.
11:14
Sarah and her daughter were there and my other
11:18
half was mulling around in the kitchen. And we
11:22
began. And I closed my eyes because back then,
11:26
I could only do a reading if I had my eyes shut
11:29
so tight that I almost gave myself a headache.
11:32
And it was nothing psychic, it was nothing spooky,
11:34
it was purely that I had my eyes shut so tight
11:38
that I would give myself tension headaches. And
11:42
I was sat there in the dining room with them
11:45
watching me and I know that my other half said
11:47
to me afterwards, oh, that was really weird to
11:50
see you do that. Not weird as in, cool weird
11:53
as in, that just looks odd, like to see you.
11:56
sat at the dining room table talking about things
11:59
with your eyes shut it was just very bizarre
12:03
for him to see which and I totally get like it
12:06
was totally out of character he had never seen
12:08
me do that before it was not something that he
12:10
was ever used to or ever thought that he would
12:12
become used to I sat there and I waited for someone
12:16
to come and it wasn't long before I felt the
12:20
impression of a grandmother And I was able to
12:24
describe the personality, I was able to describe
12:27
the relationship between Sarah and her grandmother.
12:31
I was able to talk about all this, but again,
12:32
this was stuff that I knew already. It was things
12:35
that Sarah was confirming for me, but I was very
12:39
well aware that I knew all this. So was this
12:42
my brain? Was this something else? It felt like
12:45
it was something else, but I was aware of all
12:47
this stuff already. and then I started to describe
12:51
physical things things like her slippers and
12:55
it sounds really round and really odd but I was
12:59
able to describe the type of slippers the color
13:02
of the slippers and as soon as I described those
13:05
Sarah was saying to me oh wow yes I remember
13:08
them that is accurate yes and that was interesting
13:13
but again my mind was saying to myself well you're
13:17
describing your slippers which Most grandparents
13:20
would have had in the late 80s, early 90s. That's
13:26
not a stretch to think that that's just your
13:28
imagination filling in the blanks. But then I
13:32
was placed in a kitchen. Suddenly I was in a
13:34
kitchen in this property which I had never been
13:37
to. Because again, this grandparent had died
13:39
way before I was ever on the scene. And the house
13:42
had been demolished decades ago. Like I couldn't
13:46
I knew I wouldn't even know what sort of house
13:48
it was and suddenly I was in this kitchen and
13:53
I knew it was decorated in the style of the 1970s
13:58
and there was yellow vinyl everywhere all the
14:02
surfaces all the kitchen cabinets was all covered
14:05
in like a yellowy greeny vinyl material and she
14:09
said oh my god Matt it was that was the color
14:12
of the kitchen It was this violently yellowy
14:14
green colour. And I think even around the half
14:17
it was like, hmm, that's weird. You wouldn't
14:20
know that. But by that stage I was in my head.
14:24
This grandmother was coming through and she was
14:27
saying stuff that was all pretty generic. She
14:29
was proud of what Sarah was doing, where she
14:31
was in life and where she was going. It was all
14:34
very lovey -dovey, all very nice. Sarah was convinced,
14:39
but I was in the same situation. I was not so
14:42
sure. Sarah had taken something from her grandmother's
14:46
house soon after she had died and she'd asked
14:50
me what that item was and she said that she was
14:53
willing her grandmother to bring it through to
14:55
me but you know for the life of me I could not
14:57
I was saying all these random objects and even
15:01
afterwards I would message her and say oh was
15:04
it this was it that was it this watch was it
15:06
a brooch and it'll be no no no and to this day
15:10
I have no idea what it is And I thought that
15:13
was really interesting because it seems that
15:16
the answers to specific questions, when I try
15:20
and get those answers, I'm wrong on them. But
15:23
the feelings that I was getting around random
15:25
stuff tended to be right. And I don't know why
15:28
that is. I don't know why the information I get
15:30
through is so random. There doesn't seem to be
15:31
any control that I can put out there to the information
15:36
that comes in. And I've heard other psychic mediums
15:38
say this as well. when they ask a specific question,
15:42
they might get a general sense, but it's very
15:44
rare that they can get a specific answer. And
15:48
I do want that. I do want to develop that. I
15:49
want to try and be that specific psychic to prove
15:53
that I'm not a charlatan, to prove that I'm not
15:56
a fraud. And I'm hoping that will come with practice.
16:00
The more readings you do, the more accurate you
16:02
become. So, you know, time and more readings,
16:05
hopefully that will improve. Hey guys, it's Matt
16:21
here. I really hope you're enjoying this episode
16:24
so far. If you are, you could really help me
16:28
out by rating it either on Spotify or Apple podcasts
16:33
or whatever platform it is that you are listening
16:35
to this on. Or if you want to reach out to me,
16:40
you can find me on Instagram, Facebook or threads.
16:44
I'd love for you to say hi. You can find me at
16:48
The .psychic .explorer Right, that's all the
16:57
admin done for now. So let's get back to Sarah's
17:00
reading. Enjoy guys! Sarah asked me to do another
17:07
reading for her to see if there was anything
17:09
else there. So I sat back in the chair and I
17:13
closed my eyes again. And straight away, I could
17:17
feel a grandfather presence. Now, this wasn't
17:20
grandfatherly to Sarah. This was grandfatherly
17:23
to her daughter who was also in the room. And
17:25
I asked if it was okay to proceed with this.
17:28
And Sarah and her daughter said, yep, fine. You
17:31
know, I want to know what coming through. I want
17:32
to know what he has to say. The connection this
17:35
time was way stronger. So much stronger. It was
17:38
just coming through. Whereas her grandmother
17:41
was on dial -up. This presence that I felt was
17:48
broadband speed. It was like coming through fast
17:50
and it was coming through really strong. There
17:54
was a kitchen and I could see where everything
17:58
in that kitchen was placed. I could see the clock
18:00
on the wall. I could see the dining room table
18:03
and I was surprised at how much smaller it would
18:05
have been because if you'd have asked me... Normally
18:07
in the daytime I would have thought this kitchen
18:10
table would have been huge but in my mind's eye
18:12
this kitchen table was tiny it was really small
18:14
but there were loads of people and there was
18:16
noise and there was chatter and this woman was
18:20
milling around in the background and she was
18:22
fussing around all the children and making sure
18:24
that everyone was fed there was this big pot
18:26
on the stove and it was boiling away with this
18:30
sauce or this this thing that was being cooked
18:32
and I was able to describe all the different
18:36
elements of this kitchen and because I had my
18:39
eyes closed I couldn't see Sarah or her daughter
18:42
but all I heard was yeah carry on yes that's
18:46
right keep keep going which gave me the encouragement
18:49
that okay I was on the right track this broadband
18:51
download that I was getting was was correct so
18:55
I continued and I felt that this grandfather
18:59
was winking at Sarah as Sarah had her daughter
19:03
on her lap and was bouncing her up and down on
19:05
her knee and this grandfather was winking at
19:08
Sarah in a way that was accepting and saying
19:13
well done I'm really proud that you are here
19:15
and that you are fitting in even if you don't
19:18
speak the language fluently yet you are making
19:20
efforts you are putting yourself out there you
19:25
are trying to fit in with us and that effort
19:27
is really appreciated And I was describing this.
19:33
And again, I was getting back. Yes, that's right.
19:36
Yes, that's spot on. Absolutely. Yes. I knew
19:42
what this grandfather had died of, but I didn't
19:45
know the details. Although I couldn't feel it
19:47
physically, I could feel how the blockage felt.
19:52
I could feel how the illness was making him feel.
19:58
Then I was shown a cut glass shot glass with
20:02
a brown liquid in it and I knew that this grandfather
20:06
liked the tipple. I knew that he enjoyed drinking
20:09
this liquid before each meal. And I said to Sarah,
20:14
I said, is that right? And all I got back was
20:16
a, mm -hmm. But I wasn't sure if it was a, yep,
20:20
you're absolutely right, mm -hmm. Or if it was
20:23
a, you're kind of close but not quite there,
20:27
mm -hmm. So I carried on and straight away I
20:31
was transported from the kitchen to the living
20:33
room I was very aware that I was sat in this
20:37
high back chair in the corner of the room Next
20:39
to me was this open fireplace and in front of
20:42
me was a children who are running around in circles
20:45
They were either running around or they were
20:47
on those tricycle bike things that kids have
20:50
and they were just going around and around and
20:53
around and I knew that at any minute I would
20:56
jump up and stop the kids from getting too close
20:59
to the fireplace. And I said to Sarah, I said,
21:02
does that sound familiar? And she gave off this
21:05
noise. And I wasn't too sure if it was a noise
21:08
that says, yes, you're spots on, or if it was
21:11
a noise that said, not quite there, as in like,
21:14
that sort of like questioning, but also confirming
21:20
noise. So I just went with it. Now I had not
21:23
noticed that I had crossed my legs and my foot
21:26
was now tapping but because there was a silence
21:29
I realized that my foot was tapping and I knew
21:32
that there should have been a slipper balancing
21:35
on the end of my toes and I said this I said
21:38
oh I'm tapping my feet and I should be playing
21:42
with a slipper or something at the end of my
21:44
toes and there was just silence and I opened
21:50
my eyes and both Sarah and her daughter had a
21:55
tear rolling down their cheeks and I was mortified
21:58
I was like oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't mean
22:00
to upset you please oh this is awful I'm so so
22:03
sorry I didn't mean this to be so bad for you
22:05
and they both said no Matt it's not it's really
22:08
nice it's really nice that we know that he's
22:11
here we know that he's looking after us we know
22:13
that all the things that you said prove that
22:16
he is here because you wouldn't know any of that
22:20
And they confirmed everything I said about the
22:22
kitchen, everything about the relationship. They
22:26
said that he did enjoy a tipple and it was bad
22:29
for him, but he kept drinking it anyway. The
22:32
way that he died, the passing. And then I described
22:35
the living room and I described the rooms in
22:39
detail that could not be argued that I would
22:43
have just guessed because everything I said they
22:46
said was right. And I think the clincher for
22:48
Sarah was that My foot was tapping and she said
22:52
to me, Matt, his foot tapped and he used to play
22:56
with his slippers by balancing them off the end
22:59
of his toes. And that's not something I would
23:02
know. There's no way in hell I would ever know
23:07
that. Sarah and her daughter could not understand
23:11
how I got such accurate information through.
23:16
Considering I was not able to get an accurate
23:18
idea of the object that Sarah had taken from
23:20
her grandmother's house soon after she had died,
23:23
yet I was able to bring through the kitchen,
23:27
I was able to bring through the way that he played
23:29
with his slippers, I was able to bring through
23:32
the living room, the fireplace, and the way that
23:34
the children used to play too close to that fireplace,
23:37
I got all that right. And Sarah's daughter looked
23:40
to me and said, How did you do that? How do you
23:43
do it? Like face in like complete and utter awe
23:46
as if it was magic. And I said, honestly, sweetheart,
23:50
I have no idea. It's just, these images just
23:53
come to my mind. And I think about this a lot.
23:57
You know, I sit with this and I think, how does
24:00
it work? And I'm reminded of something I've said
24:03
of my whole life that you'd be silly if you believe
24:06
100 % and you'd be equally as silly. to say no
24:11
it definitely doesn't exist and that's to do
24:13
with anything because no one knows everything
24:16
we just don't know what happens when we go fully
24:20
no one can tell you in full rich technicolor
24:23
what happens unless they've been there and very
24:26
few people have been there and come back to tell
24:28
the tale so i don't know how it works but all
24:32
i can describe it as is like psychic charades
24:36
i I get these impressions, I get these feelings,
24:40
I get these images in my head and sometimes I
24:42
hear things as well, not physically hear, but
24:45
I know the sound of someone's laugh. I can hear
24:50
blips of a word and it all builds into some sort
24:55
of message. It's down to me to interpret how
24:58
those elements come together and that's why I
25:02
describe it as psychic charades. or is it charades
25:05
i don't know depending on where you're from but
25:07
it's this psychic jigsaw puzzle that we have
25:12
to put together in our minds and that confirmation
25:15
that your sitter gives you yes no helps you to
25:18
know if you're in the right direction because
25:19
sometimes when you're saying something that's
25:21
a no you rephrase it in a way which doesn't make
25:26
it fit but because you've rephrased it and you've
25:29
reinterpreted that image or that feeling that
25:31
you've had suddenly it makes sense to that person
25:33
and it's the same image that's been presented
25:36
to you or the same word that's coming to you
25:38
or this feeling that's being impressed upon you
25:43
you describe it in a slightly different way and
25:46
suddenly it fits suddenly it makes sense to the
25:48
sitter and because these impressions are so subtle
25:52
At first, it was really hard for me to admit
25:56
that these things were what I was feeling and
25:59
they weren't just my mind. I knew there was a
26:01
different vibration to these impressions and
26:04
these images that I was being shown. But because
26:09
they are so subtle, at the beginning at least
26:11
they were so subtle, I really had to try and
26:15
get out of my own mind. And that's something
26:17
I'm still, you know, battle with and I think
26:19
anyone who does this. battles with it but it's
26:23
getting better it's getting there bit by bit
26:26
the more readings I do the stronger it comes
26:29
through to me the bandwidth of the broadband
26:32
is getting wider and wider and I'm wondering
26:35
when it might go to fiber I don't know we'll
26:37
see we'll see if it does but Going back to that
26:41
reading for Sarah and her daughter, I was sat
26:44
there and they were amazed by it. Sarah was convinced
26:47
by it. She was like, yes, you've definitely got
26:49
this. Everything you said about her daughter's
26:54
grandfather was spot on. She said most of the
26:57
things she said about my grandmother was spot
26:59
on too. But of course, because you know me and
27:01
because you know of the grandmother, it's difficult
27:05
to separate what you know and what you were getting
27:07
through. but she said because you were able to
27:10
bring through my daughter's grandfather so perfectly
27:13
then there's definitely something going on there.
27:16
Simon was feeling very awkward because again
27:20
I just I look strange I look so bizarre he said
27:24
I was just sat there in our dining room with
27:28
my eyes scrunched up tight and my Hands were
27:33
going all over the place and I was saying this
27:35
random stuff So it just looked a bit strange
27:38
his partner of 17 years who's never shown any
27:42
Ability in this area is now claiming that he
27:46
can do it and demonstrating it and it looks really
27:48
strange I get it. No looks very bizarre The elements
27:53
that I did get wrong or the elements that I was
27:56
unsure of I found myself focusing on these I
28:01
couldn't just I mean as amazed as I was that
28:03
I got a lot of it right I really annoyed myself
28:08
and I guess I shouldn't be but I am annoyed at
28:12
myself that I didn't take the time to appreciate
28:14
how amazing it was that I got what I got right
28:17
because I focused on what I didn't get right
28:21
or what I couldn't get I started to really focus
28:24
on What did Sarah take from her grandmother's
28:27
house? I remember the a week or two afterwards
28:29
I would be sat in the living room and I'd just
28:31
be drawing after a meditation I'd be drawing
28:35
these objects and I'd be sending them through
28:37
to her on whatsapp and she'd be saying to me
28:39
No, no, no, that's not I just thought okay now
28:43
I'm in my head. I'm in my head and I'm guessing
28:46
and that took the joy out of it that took the
28:49
joy out of the amazement out of the confirmation
28:54
that actually what I was feeling was right. But
28:59
I am my own worst enemy. And again, going back
29:02
to what I said earlier on, it's about keeping
29:05
my ego in check. I do not want to be one of these
29:07
people who says, oh, I can do this, I can do
29:10
that. And then fall flat on my face or set my
29:16
expectations so high that I'm never actually
29:18
able to meet them. I'd rather under promise and
29:21
over deliver. than over promise and under deliver.
29:25
And that's always been my motto with everything
29:26
in life. Under promise, over deliver, much more
29:30
effective than the other way around. And I guess
29:34
part of that is because I don't want to be perceived
29:37
as a con artist. I had enough doubts going around
29:40
in my head to think that I was in Klaokukuland.
29:46
So that was my first reading outside of Circle.
29:49
I was really pleased with it. Again, I got caught
29:52
up in what I didn't get right and I got caught
29:55
up in the things that I was not accurate on.
29:59
But that's a lesson learned. I like to think
30:03
that when I bring things through now and they're
30:05
right, I get very excited and I focus on that.
30:09
But actually, if I'm honest with myself, that's
30:11
not quite true. I do strive for the accuracy.
30:18
But that's because I set my bar so high. And
30:20
I guess partly that's because I don't want to
30:22
be perceived as a con artist. I don't want to
30:24
be perceived as someone who says that he can
30:27
do this but actually can't. I learned a lot from
30:35
it. Looking back on it, it's something I should
30:39
be much prouder of than I think I have been.
30:44
And as I sit here, I want to reach back 12 months.
30:48
and grab that mat and say bloody well done you
30:52
know you gave that a go you tried you did that
30:56
and you succeeded more than you thought you did
30:59
there's no way in hell that you could have known
31:02
the things that you were talking about that grandfather
31:05
there's just none i never met him i never knew
31:08
him i heard very little about him apart from
31:10
his death i have no idea and That is a wonder.
31:16
That's amazing. And as I sit here, I'm really
31:20
very proud that I was able to do that. Because
31:23
that's... Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I am. I'm
31:27
really proud that I was able to face that nervousness
31:33
and to face my doubts and to do it. And it got
31:39
a good result. And there's a lesson for you.
31:42
Just go ahead and do it. Next time I'm gonna
31:48
be revisiting my childhood and I'm gonna be talking
31:51
about the things that I experienced which growing
31:56
up I've always just Swept under the carpet, but
32:00
now I look back and think Hmm. That was strange
32:04
Also some things in my adulthood as well. Not
32:08
as much nowhere near as much but there were things
32:11
which again I look back now and think hmm I recognize
32:15
that vibration. Thank you so much. Whoever you
32:22
are listening to my ramblings into the darkness,
32:25
I really appreciate the fact that you listen
32:28
to me. So get in touch. Let me know what you
32:31
think. Let me know what your experiences are.
32:34
As I talk to you, letting you know that you're
32:36
not alone, let me know that I'm not alone. I'm
32:40
open to other people out there who can... relate
32:43
to what i'm talking about and relate to what
32:45
i'm saying um thank you so much guys again so
32:49
i will be releasing the next one in about two
32:52
weeks look after yourselves and i'll see you
32:56
next time take care guys bye