Latest / Leadership From The Heart | Transformational Leadership Insights / The Generational Divide at Work | What If Nobody Is Wrong?
Transcript
- Romie Montpeirous: All right, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Leadership from the Heart. Today, this week's series is all about generations and the generations that we're seeing within leadership. And we're going to play devil's advocate a lot here today because I think it's important for us to see both the good and the not so great. Of every generation. And I'm a millennial, so we have some as well, as much as we would not like to admit that, I've been thinking about the generations as the baby boomers start to or have been exiting the workplace. And I think that we're starting to see the difference between the baby boomers and Gen Z a lot more as time continues to go on, right? And it's because There's such a difference between the two. And so therefore it is becoming a little bit louder. And every generation seems to believe that the generation coming after them doesn't understand work. They don't understand hard work. They expect too much. They don't respect authority. They want everything handed to them. And here's what I'm finding interesting. It's what if every generation said the same thing before? Because I remember growing up and hearing my parents and my grandparents say the same thing. And now here we are talking about Gen Z as if we didn't have the same ridicules that they are currently having. And some of us are the ones saying it, which is weird because we remember what it was like to be criticized. So it's interesting to me to hear us criticizing them now. But what if the things that the younger generations are asking for or demanding or not willing to do, you know, the flexibility, the balance, the meaningful work. The ability to say no when we didn't know that we could. What if we just didn't know that there were options? What if we just adopted them because our parents told us to? And I think we spent a lot of our younger years just adapting to what our parents said, right? They were our survival mechanism and we didn't know to have a voice, not the way that we do now. And so I don't think it was an option for us because I don't think we knew it was available. And so I think. The awareness that we have now is what could be triggering some of us. And so I want to talk about what every generation has learned and what generations may be missing and what can become possible when we stop seeing what separates us and start seeing what actually makes us one. Because the gen of the generational divide really isn't about age. And maybe the stories that we've inherited from the generation. prior to us is what has us in this mindset or in this program, is what I like to say. by the end of this conversation, you'll have a different way to interpret generational conflict and a practical approach to leading people whose expectations differ from your own. And younger people are entering leadership now. And it is going to be different. They're going to have way more empathy than The baby boomers had. And it's not, it's not because they didn't want to, it's just because it wasn't available. So I want to keep saying that. So here's what I've want you guys to imagine. Four employees are sitting in the same conference room table and they all want to succeed. They all want to be respected, but they have learned very different ways of earning respect, right? So the first person sitting at this table is a baby boomer. The lessons that they've learned or The lessons that they've inherited are loyalty, persistence, earning your place. A potential blind spot for them is equating commitment with time served. And we hear this, right? You got to put in the hours, you got to dedicate the time. And those things are true, but how much time? am I dedicating my entire life to this organization? And then when they need to make a cut, I'm the one getting cut, but I just dedicated my entire life. And that changes you. That changed me. I remember being laid off the first time and I thought, How could this be? I thought we cared about each other the same way, only to find out they're running a business. Okay, so I started to look at things a little differently and I started to treat the business like a business. And it doesn't mean I'm not gonna give my all. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to be the high performer that I am. It just means that now I understand this is business and it's not personal and therefore, It's okay to disappoint the business because it's just a business. sitting at this other sitting at the table, going back to that, is a Gen X. And what they've learned, what they've inherited is independence, resourcefulness, and figuring it out. A lot of sink or swim, right? The potential blind spot for them is reluctance to ask for help or to collaborate because they had to figure it out themselves. Next at this table is us, the millennials, the best. No, I'm just kidding. And The lessons that we learned or inherited are purpose, growth, and collaboration. Right. We our blind spot is expecting advancement before demonstrating readiness. And this is a real one, right? We always think we're ready. And I and I don't think it's ignorance. I do think that we've we just know we'll figure it out because we always have. and there are some growing pains that happen when you just jump in the pool before you're ready. Most of us learn how to swim by being thrown in. And figuring it out, so we figure life could be like that as well. And then here we have the Gen Zs also sitting at the same table. A work lesson some that some may have inherited are boundaries, transparency, flexibility. These are all things that we did not know were available, I think. but their potential blind spots are underestimating the value of experience and patience, right? They grew up in a world where everything is instant and therefore The patience is lacking. I also lack patience and I didn't grow up in that world, but I understand them, right? It's these cultural narratives, we have to examine them. They're not proven characteristics by any means. But if you were to talk to people within those generations collectively, that could be what we say, right? And there is some data, there is some sources that that will be in the show notes, but Imagine someone who spent 20 years earning the right to work from home, sitting across from someone who expects that flexibility on day one. One person might think, I had to earn that privilege, where the other one thinks, if I can just deliver the results, why should my physical location matter? Now, here's the real question: Are we disagreeing about work ethic, or are they disagreeing about what should be required and demonstrated? To have that, right? Neither person's perspective is automatically wrong or determines whether the arrangement works. The actual job requirements, the team needs, the customer experience, and the result must decide that type of work. But here we are having feelings about something, about a privilege or what we perceive as a privilege, because that's the way it was taught to us is that working from home is a privilege. That now we see that the younger generation is demanding it from day one. And we think that they think they're entitled only because we had to earn it. this is where in operations, the leaders have to be able to decipher what is and what isn't. And it's not just in operations, it's every department. But I work in operations, so I always talk about operations, right? And that's what makes people wonder whether or not. We're calling generational conflict actual conflict, or is it just an evolution of what people think that they're allowed to ask for? At the emotional center of this episode, I want you to think about or wonder how many people listening have had to work through their birthdays, missed family events, stayed late because the boss was still there, or said yes to something that they didn't have the capacity for. And it's not because they wanted to, but because that's what a good employee did. And then here comes somebody younger saying, actually I have a life outside of work and We all react because we think again they're entitled. But what if the part is that they're just setting a boundary? And boundaries are fine. We all we all agree that boundaries are good to set. We just didn't know we could set them with the employer. Right? And I want us to also explore the differences between value and sacrifice, especially the sacrifice that we're taught that proves our value. Right? Is commitment the same thing as availability? Is respect the same thing as unquestioning agreement? Is ambition the same thing of as constant advancement? And is professionalism the same thing as hiding your personal needs? Right? Sometimes the younger employee genuinely does not understand the experience required to exercise good judgment. This is where they can lean in on people with experience. And try to understand and be curious about their experience so that they can learn, right? We can acknowledge that those realities without dismissing the entire generation. They just need to learn. And we have to be open enough to teach. Sometimes I see, you know, older leaders dismissing the younger generation as if they have nothing to offer. I personally hated that when I was younger. And therefore will not do it to this generation. And I implore us not to, because they have to learn it. They don't have to go through what we went through, but they do have to learn it. And so I don't want you to leave the episode thinking that understanding people means eliminating the standard or eliminating the accountability, because it doesn't. I will never ever say that it does. That's not leadership, right? We still have to do things. But if an employee wants a more flexible schedule and their manager believes that by allowing it, it would create unfairness or reduce accountability, then We do have to look at the consequences of these actions or requests, because it is not just what's happening right now, it's what's happened in the past. Are we setting a precedent? There's so much that goes into allowing people to just do what they want to do. And I want to talk about, I know we talked about earlier the the differences in the generations, but in my experience, especially with baby boomers, what we're realizing is their leadership style differs greatly from mine. And theirs is more so of a used to be, not anymore, do as I say, not as I do. Right. And to them that was leadership. To them, I'm going to show you the right way to do it. I may not do it myself, but I'm going to tell you and show you the right way to do it. And that's the expectation I have of you. Where now we look at leaders and we're saying it's lead by example. Right. And baby boomers don't really understand their impact of the behavior that they have. And so they walk around unaware of how their again behavior is impacting, what they say is impacting, how they're moving is impacting. And everyone else around can see the impact, whether it be negative or positive, but they can't. There's just an awareness that is not there yet. And it's not every baby boomer, right? Just like there are some millennials that are like There are some Gen X that are like that that I coach. And so it is not a you're wrong, you've got it wrong, you've always had it wrong. It is more so of a respect and an understanding that every generation is evolving. And there has to be respect in that. There has to be respect in how we got here, which means you have to respect the people that got us here, right? Because they know things, they've been through things. We should learn their stories. Those are the origins of the things that we're enjoying right now. And and we have to embrace this new generation that's coming through. We have to be able to teach them the things that we think are needed to be able to take this and move forward. We have to be able to help them understand why certain things are important and question whether we still think they are important because. Just because they've always been important doesn't mean they're important now. Just because we've always done it this way doesn't mean we have to keep doing it that way, is is all I'm trying to say. Right. And in the gist of this entire episode, it is allowing us to question whether the things that we've done in the past are still relevant right now. And if they're not, do we have the courage to look at that and to change it? Or do we just keep it the same because we want to be fair or we want to be equitable? And those things matter, but I think that there's a bridge. I think that there's a way to get from there to here. And if we don't start adapting to this change, it's gonna hit us hard and it's gonna force us to change. And then we're gonna be lopsided because the pendulum always swings to one side unless we're able to absorb this impact and move it slowly and guide it embrace it and and move with it. And so I am guilty of dismissing older generations myself. I feel like I was never understood and therefore I didn't want to understand. And I'm happy to say that I'm taking a different tone, a different tune to that as I get older and continue to be successful in my career. And Now I want to know more about how we got here and what they had to go through to get us here. Because I think it's something that we should stand on, right? I think it's something that we should honor. I think that I want to know more because I want them to feel understood as well. Because maybe they didn't feel understood. And so they didn't know how to help people feel understood. But now as we continue and millennials are creating, well, Gen X created. The Gen Z, or maybe the Millennials created Gen Z. I'm not really sure. I haven't done research, but maybe that's why the Gen Z generation has a voice, because Gen X didn't feel like they did. And I know the Millennials didn't, because when somebody was talking, you were quiet. When adults were in the room, you weren't to be seen. And all of those things have an impact on how we lead, on how we see the world, and how we operate. Everybody has a lens that they're seeing the world through. And it's the lens of their own experiences and programs. And so I say all that to say maybe we give the baby boomers a stage to tell us what happened. And we thank them as they continue to exit and and retire and live a different life. And I'm so happy for them. I love to see people retire with life left to live. it is a goal, a dream, right? to have. And perhaps we can carry the torch and do it a little bit differently while we continue to try to understand the new generation and where they're going with it and help them understand just how far they can take this and not be an anchor in their movement, but a cheerleader where needed and a guide where needed and a consultant where needed. And a leader where needed. And so I say all that to end this episode with a thank you to everyone that came before. Thank you for building. I know it wasn't easy. I can only imagine that it wasn't easy. I know we talk a lot of shit and frown upon the thoughts, the archaic thoughts. And it still means a lot. And your legacy will remain. And we will make sure to carry that and do better with it and hand it off to the next generation when it's their turn and watch what they do with it. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And I'll see you next week on another episode of Leadership from the Heart. Thanks a lot. Bye.