Latest / The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler / The Brutal Truth about Time Management No Mom Wants to Hear

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The Brutal Truth about Time Management No Mom Wants to Hear · The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler

• 0:00
  So I have some bad news about time management.
• 0:04
  You see, it's not really a thing.
• 0:06
  You can't manage time.
• 0:09
  There's nothing that you can do that will make today any longer
• 0:16
  than it already is or any shorter.
• 0:19
  You can't save three hours on Monday and move it over to Thursday.
• 0:24
  You can't negotiate with the clock and ask for an extra 90 minutes because
• 0:28
  everyone needed you all at once.
• 0:30
  Time just keeps moving.
• 0:34
  So what we call time management is not time management at all.
• 0:41
  Any effective time management is actually self-management
• 0:48
  What you can manage is your own attention, your own choices, your own expectations
• 0:56
  Do you follow the plan you made?
• 0:59
  Do you do the things on your daily card?
• 1:02
  Or do you spend 45 minutes avoiding what you know you should do while
• 1:07
  telling yourself that you just don't have enough time to do it?
• 1:11
  Blaming our problem with time, blaming our ineffectiveness or our feelings of
• 1:19
  being too busy on needing better time management makes it sound like we have
• 1:27
  a problem with a planner or a schedule, something that's external to us that will
• 1:33
  kind of suddenly make everything work.
• 1:37
  But recognizing what I actually need is better self-management
• 1:42
  means practicing self-control
• 1:46
  And as Christian moms, we have to recognize the truth.
• 1:51
  God has given us enough time to do the work that He has called us to do.
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  So complaining that we don't have enough time is actually
• 2:00
  complaining against God Himself
• 2:03
  God has given us everything we need to do what He has called us to do.
• 2:09
  That's reality
• 2:11
  Not, now he hasn't given us everything that, so that we can accomplish all
• 2:16
  that we could potentially accomplish.
• 2:20
  Not everything that someone else accomplishes, not everything that we
• 2:24
  imagine that we probably should be doing, but what he's actually given
• 2:30
  us to do, each one of us in particular
• 2:34
  So when the hours just don't add up, we have to be honest with
• 2:40
  ourselves and ask, "What am I trying to do that does not belong here?"
• 2:46
  And there might be things that we need to cut out of our schedules or
• 2:49
  out of our expectations, but we also need to be brutally honest about
• 2:55
  how much time we are dawdling away
• 3:00
  And implementing a different schedule or setting up a different
• 3:04
  planner will not fix that
• 3:08
  In order to fix our own dawdling and distraction, we have to have
• 3:12
  the self-awareness to recognize it when it's happening, 'cause it's
• 3:17
  not like we're scheduling that in.
• 3:19
  It just happens.
• 3:20
  So we have to be aware when it happens, and then we have to have the
• 3:24
  self-control and self-discipline to turn away from it, to repent of it, and
• 3:31
  choose the harder, more important, more meaningful work that's in front of us.
• 3:37
  And of course, that doesn't mean never resting.
• 3:40
  We should have planned and perhaps spontaneous times of actual rest.
• 3:47
  But actual rest is not avoidance or coping or distraction And so we need the
• 3:55
  self-awareness and the self-discipline to recognize the difference
• 4:01
  And we also need to stop telling ourselves that we are trying to get everything done.
• 4:07
  That's the wrong goal.
• 4:09
  It just doesn't work in homemaking.
• 4:11
  There is no status ever in a home where everything is done because
• 4:17
  the job of a homemaker is managing life, and life is always happening.
• 4:22
  Life is ongoing and continuous.
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  And so, like, catching up, it doesn't really mean anything.
• 4:30
  It sounds good, but it is this unreachable, unattainable goal
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  that if we don't allow ourselves to rest until we have caught up or
• 4:41
  gotten everything done, then we're never going to sit down and rest
• 4:47
  The self-control and the self-management we need to have good time management is
• 4:54
  actually the ability to work when it is time to work, to rest when it is time
• 5:01
  to rest, to sit down with our family at dinner and enjoy that time without
• 5:07
  letting the ticker tape to-do list play in our head, to be present on the couch.
• 5:14
  If we're supposed to be reading to our children and that's what we are
• 5:18
  doing, we should be there in that moment enjoying it and not trying
• 5:23
  to mentally be two places at once.
• 5:26
  It's that mental attempt to be in one place and doing one thing while actually
• 5:35
  mentally keeping track of being and doing other things in other places that causes
• 5:42
  stress and anxiety and that sense of impending doom and dread for our lives.
• 5:49
  And if we write down the things that need to be done, choose our
• 5:53
  top three for the day, and then are present in the work that we are
• 5:57
  doing or the rest that we are having
• 6:00
  we can learn to love our life at home and recognize that our time has been well
• 6:06
  spent, even if not everything got done.
• 6:10
  Because we weren't trying to get everything done anyway.
• 6:12
  We were just continually doing the right next thing
• 6:16
  I just realized my light was weird.
• 6:18
  Sorry about that
• 6:20
  This is why in Convivial Circle, one of the things that we have ladies set up is
• 6:27
  not a perfect planner or perfect schedule where everything has its slot, and we
• 6:34
  just march through the day getting all the things done as if we're machines.
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  But we set up
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  A daily card where we pick the top three for the day.
• 6:45
  And I actually have a free training on that.
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  So after this episode, you can find a link to that free training called
• 6:52
  From Overwhelmed to Organized in the description of this episode.
• 6:57
  It's simplyconvivial.com/organized.
• 7:01
  On the daily card, we write our top three for the day, and it takes practice to be
• 7:06
  able to choose that, and that's a whole, like, lesson in itself, which is why
• 7:11
  you should do that free training next.
• 7:13
  But you choose your priorities for the day, and they are only three,
• 7:19
  and you have a morning and evening routine that - don't take all day.
• 7:23
  Your morning and evening routine are each just 15 minutes, and you've picked
• 7:29
  for your household those items that really help keep your home functional.
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  Not where everything gets done or stays done, but where you're
• 7:38
  continuing to manage and upkeep your house, keeping it functional and
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  moving along, not statically done
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  And then we also encourage you to set up a stopping time for the
• 7:52
  day, because there will always be more on the list that we could do.
• 7:59
  But just because there's more on the list that we could do doesn't mean
• 8:03
  that we should be doing it It's okay to just relax in the evening and enjoy the
• 8:10
  time in the home and with the family that you have been working for all day
• 8:16
  It's okay if we don't get - everything done
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  But so often our actual problem is that we make getting everything done
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  so complicated or so overwhelming, so big that we don't ever get started.
• 8:34
  We wait for the motivation or the right mood or the right caffeine mix.
• 8:40
  We wait for ideal conditions.
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  And in the meantime, until those ideal conditions come to finally
• 8:47
  knock it all out, clean everything, organize everything, get all the
• 8:52
  things done, we are browsing YouTube
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  Having ChatGPT make us new schedules
• 9:01
  Just scrolling on our phones, distracted and really avoiding the good work
• 9:09
  that's in front of us to do, because we don't even know how to get started.
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  But getting started isn't complicated, and we don't have to wait to get
• 9:18
  started until we know we can finish something perfectly or even well.
• 9:23
  We just get started.
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  This is why I really recommend using a timer.
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  Just set a timer for 10 minutes and do 10 minutes of something
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  that needs to be done in your home.
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  It will change your energy and your mood and your approach to your day, to
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  your home, to your work, and it will…
• 9:43
  And once we are moving, more seems possible than if we are sitting
• 9:50
  and just thinking about all that we could or should be doing.
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  We wanna move into action mode.
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  If we're going to use our time well, we have to be in action mode.
• 10:02
  So grab a timer, set it for 10 minutes Do something, anything that
• 10:08
  will make a difference in your home.
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  Notice that difference that you are making
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  And when you recognize that you are procrastinating, avoiding, distracted,
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  set the phone down and pick up that timer and set it for 10 minutes.
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  That's the kind of self-management that will increase the
• 10:29
  effectiveness of our time management