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Aladdin and the Magic Lamp, Part 2 · Stories for Robots

0:00
Griffin: Welcome back to Stories for Robots.
0:03
I'm Griffin Schwade, your host and storyteller.
0:06
Join me as I share some of humanity's most timeless tales with two silly robots who
0:11
are trying to understand human culture by exploring fairy tales, folklore, and
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historical events from around the world.
0:18
In season one, we're diving into stories you know, or at least you think you do.
0:23
We're going back to the original versions of classic tales made
0:27
famous by animated movies.
0:29
But these original stories are pretty different from the
0:32
versions you grew up with.
0:34
Last time, we heard part one of Aladdin.
0:37
If you missed that one, pause now, go back, and listen.
0:40
None of this will make sense if you don't.
0:43
Now, in case you listened but kinda forgot what happened,
0:47
Vector is gonna give a recap.
0:48
Vector: I am?
0:50
Fine.
0:52
A spoiled brat named Aladdin is tricked by an evil wizard with
0:55
bad facial hair, finds two genies, and falls in love with a princess.
0:59
Griffin: Okay, not the best,
1:01
Vector: But also not the worst.
1:03
Spark: Almost the worst.
1:04
Griffin: But we can work with it.
1:06
Okay, so Aladdin has fallen in love with Princess Badroulbador
1:10
and has sent his mother to ask the sultan if she will marry him.
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That's kind of a crazy thing to do.
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Everyone knows a princess must marry a prince, so she's brought a huge
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plate full of magical jewels as a gift, and now she's just revealing
1:25
them to the sultan and his court.
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As the light catches the enormous gems, everyone goes quiet.
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The sultan gasps.
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These are the largest, most perfect treasures anyone has ever seen.
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Just by looking at them, the sultan knows they're probably
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worth more than everything else in the royal palace combined.
1:46
Spark: Yes, the plan is working.
1:48
Okay, so now Aladdin can marry the princess and live happily ever after.
1:52
The end.
1:53
Vector: Short episode, but good.
1:55
Griffin: Not quite.
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The sultan's vizier, his chief advisor, whispers, " Your Majesty, these are
2:02
impressive, but surely you won't give your daughter to some unknown commoner.
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Tell her to come back in three months, and let's see if we can't find a better
2:11
suitor in the meantime." Now, the vizier has his own son, and he wants
2:15
him to marry the princess, so he's trying to sabotage this, and it works.
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Adara goes home and tells Aladdin they'll need to wait
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three months before coming back.
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Meanwhile, the vizier convinces the sultan that his son is a
2:29
better match for the princess, and a wedding is quickly arranged.
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Spark: You sneaky little vizier.
2:35
Griffin: And this is where things get really crazy.
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On the night of the wedding, Aladdin finds out about this new arrangement
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between the princess and the vizier's son.
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Vector: Let's call him Megavolts the Magnificent.
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Griffin: Yeah, no.
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Vector: Lame.
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Then let's call him Fred.
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Griffin: Yeah, sure, okay.
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Fred.
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Now, Aladdin can't think of a good way to make Princess Badroulbador
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and Fred call off the wedding, so he comes up with an insane plan.
3:01
He has the genie transport the newlyweds, bed and all, into his
3:05
house while they're sleeping.
3:07
Spark: Um, what?
3:09
Griffin: Then he has the genie kick poor old Fred outside into the cold,
3:13
hops into bed with a confused and terrified princess, and explains
3:17
that he's supposed to marry her.
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Then he falls asleep.
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Spark: That's unhinged.
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I would karate chop him so hard.
3:25
Griffin: He does this every night until they're both so freaked
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out that they cancel the wedding.
3:29
Vector: Question, do humans find this behavior romantic?
3:32
Spark: No, Vector.
3:33
This is more like kidnapping.
3:35
Griffin: Correct.
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Do not use magic to scare and confuse the person you want to marry.
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In real life, they will hate you and probably also call the police.
3:44
Vector: That is cray cray.
3:45
Spark: Um, no one says that anymore.
3:47
Vector: Yes, they do.
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It is groovy slang, daddy-o.
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Griffin: Anyway, once the princess and Fred split up, Aladdin
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sends Adara back to the palace to remind the sultan of their deal.
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It turns out the sultan had forgotten about Aladdin.
4:02
But now that he's thinking about those big old jewels again, he sees an opportunity
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to ask for an even more outrageous gift.
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So he says to Adara, Your son's first gift was generous, but
4:15
for such an amazing bride, he must prove himself worthy.
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Tell him to send me 40 gold basins filled with jewels like the first ones, and make
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sure they're carried by 80 regal servants.
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If he can do this, I'll give him my daughter."
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Spark: Why does a sultan have such a ridiculous accent?
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Griffin: He doesn't.
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It's just a normal sultan accent.
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Whatever.
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Anyway, the sultan figures it's impossible,
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but there's no harm in
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asking.
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So Adara tells Aladdin the news, and he's thrilled.
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He skips over to his room, takes out the lamp, and rubs it.
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Moments later, eighty servants in gorgeous clothes are setting off
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in a grand procession carrying the jewels to the palace.
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The whole city stops to watch.
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No one has ever seen anything like it.
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When the sultan sees them, his jaw hits the floor.
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Vector: That is a serious medical condition.
5:08
Spark: It's an expression, Vector.
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It just means he's so amazed his mouth is hanging open.
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Vector: I knew that.
5:13
Griffin: Right.
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So the sultan looks at Aladdin and bellows, " Let's waste no time.
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The royal wedding will be tomorrow.
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Spark: Yes, now we're talking.
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And they live happily ever after.
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The end.
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Griffin: Yeah, nope.
5:28
Aladdin is thrilled, but he realizes he needs a place to live with the princess.
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So that night, he uses the lamp genie to build the most magnificent
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palace anyone has ever seen.
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It's made of brilliant white marble with windows of diamonds and rubies,
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And it appears overnight, right across from the Sultan's palace.
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Spark: No one has any questions about that?
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Griffin: Nope, no questions.
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The next day, the wedding happens.
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Aladdin, dressed in royal clothes and with a full genie makeover, arrives
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at the palace looking pretty fresh.
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Vector: Surely he has been buttered thoroughly.
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Griffin: The princess doesn't recognize Aladdin.
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He looks totally different, and there's this regal maturity about him.
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She finds him charming and delightful.
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They get married with a huge celebration.
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Aladdin brings the princess to his magical palace.
6:17
Aladdin is kind and loving to her, and over time, the princess
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really does fall in love with him.
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Years pass.
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Aladdin becomes beloved by the people because he's generous and fair.
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He even leads the sultan's army to victory in several important battles.
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Aladdin has grown into a wise and caring leader, and he and the
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princess are extremely happy together.
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Everything is perfect.
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Spark: Wait, really?
6:40
Is this the happy ending?
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The end?
6:42
Griffin: Not quite.
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Remember the evil sorcerer?
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Spark: Oh no
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Griffin: Well, the sorcerer thought Aladdin died in the cave years ago.
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But one day, he uses his magic to check, and he discovers Aladdin is still alive.
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And not just alive, but married to the princess, living in a magnificent palace
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and famous throughout the kingdom.
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The magician realizes this can only mean one thing: Aladdin has the magic lamp.
7:08
So he comes up with an evil plan to steal it.
7:10
Vector: Mwahaha.
7:12
Griffin: Vector, what is that?
7:13
Vector: An evil sorcerer laugh.
7:15
Griffin: Okay, no sound effects, please.
7:17
Vector: Ha.
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Griffin: Vector.
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A few weeks later, the sorcerer arrives in the city disguised as a poor merchant.
7:24
He buys a bunch of shiny new lamps and walks through the streets
7:27
shouting, " New lamps for old.
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Trade your crummy old lamp for a shiny new one." People think he's
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crazy, and Aladdin is out hunting that day, so the princess is alone in the
7:37
palace. One of her servants hears the merchant and says, " My lady, you
7:42
know that dirty old lamp Aladdin has? Why don't we trade it for a new one?"
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The princess doesn't know the lamp is magic.
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Aladdin never told her.
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She thinks it's just an old lamp, so she says, "Sure, why not?
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It'll be a fun surprise for him."
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Spark: No, no, no, no, no.
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Griffin: The servant brings the old lamp to the merchant.
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The sorcerer can barely control his excitement.
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He grabs the lamp, throws a new one at the servant, and runs away cackling evilly.
8:09
That night, when everyone in the palace is asleep, the sorcerer rubs the lamp.
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The genie appears, and immediately the sorcerer screeches, " Take this
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entire palace with everyone in it and transport it back to my homeland."
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Instantly, the whole palace, with the princess and all the servants inside,
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vanishes and reappears far, far away.
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The next morning, the sultan wakes up.
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He looks out his window and sees nothing.
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The palace is gone.
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He thinks he's losing his mind.
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He asks every servant, "Can you see it?" And when they all say no, he panics.
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His daughter is missing.
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So he sends guards to find Aladdin, who's just returning from a hunting trip.
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To Aladdin's great surprise, the sultan's guards arrest him and drag
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him through the streets to the palace.
8:58
As a crowd gathers around, the sultan shouts, " Where's my daughter?
9:03
What have you done with her?"
9:05
Of course, Aladdin has no idea what's happening.
9:08
" What do you mean?
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She's in our palace." " Your palace has disappeared, along with my daughter.
9:13
What have you done? I should have you executed for kidnapping the princess."
9:18
Spark: Whoa, take a chill pill, Sultan.
9:20
Griffin: Luckily, Aladdin has been a pretty awesome prince, and the
9:24
people of the city love him, so they beg the sultan not to execute him.
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The sultan, seeing the people are on Aladdin's side, agrees to give
9:32
him forty days to find the princess.
9:34
" But if you don't bring her back, you'll be executed."
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Well, Aladdin is devastated.
9:41
He figures this has something to do with the genie, but he
9:44
doesn't know how to fix it.
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He doesn't have the lamp.
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So he wanders around the city trying to think of a solution.
9:51
Desperate and hopeless, he eventually sits by a river, wringing his hands
9:55
in despair, and accidentally rubs the magic ring he's still wearing.
9:59
Spark: Anyone else feel like the ring genie is totally overlooked in this story?
10:03
Like, respect the genie skills, people.
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Vector: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
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Find out what it means to…
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Griffin: Vector.
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So now the ring genie appears, and Aladdin shouts, " Bring
10:14
back my palace and my wife!"
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The genie says, "I cannot.
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The palace is under the power of the lamp's genie.
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I cannot undo what he has done.
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He's stronger than me."
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Spark: What was that, Ring Genie?
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Griffin: I said he's stronger than me, but I can take you to where
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your palace is now." Aladdin says, "Then take me there." Instantly,
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he's transported to the sorcerer's homeland right outside his own palace.
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It's early morning.
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Everyone's still asleep.
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Aladdin sneaks to the princess's window and taps on it.
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She wakes up, throws open the window, and gives him a long tear-filled hug.
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" How did you find me?" She asks. Aladdin explains about the lamp and
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the evil sorcerer. The princess says, "Oh, no, this might be my fault.
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Technically, I gave him the lamp."
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Vector: Awkward.
11:09
Spark: It's not actually her fault.
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Aladdin should have told her it was magic.
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Griffin: Aladdin says, "It's okay.
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It's not your fault.
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I should have told you it was magic.
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We can fix this.
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Where does the sorcerer keep the lamp?"
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The princess says, "He carries it with him in his robe. Oh, and also,
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he really wants me to marry him and forget about you. But don't worry,
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I've been super mean to him this whole time." So together, Aladdin and
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Princess Badroulbador come up with a plan.
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The princess will pretend she's forgiven the sorcerer and fallen in love with him.
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Then she'll invite him to dinner and poison his wine.
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Once he's dead, Aladdin and the princess will take back the lamp
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and return home, palace and all.
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Spark: Whoa, that's pretty harsh.
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Poison?
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Griffin: Yeah, it is harsh, and I am not condoning murder, but Aladdin is mad.
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After all, this guy tried to use him and kill him when he was a boy, and
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now he's trying to steal his wife.
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So that evening, the princess puts on her most beautiful clothes and smiles
12:09
at the sorcerer for the first time.
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" I've been foolish," she says.
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"Aladdin is gone, and you are here." She moves closer to him, reaching out to
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twirl his pointy soul patch on her finger.
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Spark: OMG, no.
12:24
Vector: Barf.
12:24
I am barfing.
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Okay, I would be barfing if I could barf.
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Griffin: The princess says, "Let's have dinner together and celebrate." The
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sorcerer skips through the palace gleefully, cackling slightly as he goes.
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A few hours later, he arrives at dinner in his finest robes.
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His soul patch is oiled into a fine, shiny point.
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Spark: Do you really have to?
12:47
Griffin: Sorry.
12:48
The servants put out a decadent feast, and the princess herself pours them each
12:53
a glass of wine, and then she waits.
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But the sorcerer isn't drinking.
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He's too busy blabbering.
13:01
" Oh, Princess, I knew you'd come to see that I'm actually a really
13:04
great guy, the greatest perhaps, and that Aladdin, so obnoxious.
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And I heard he smells like cabbage.
13:11
Is that true?" Well, after a few minutes of this, the princess has heard enough.
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She cuts in.
13:17
" Uh, yeah, totally right.
13:19
Let's, uh, just chug this wine, you know, to celebrate." And so they each
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drain their glasses of wine, and as soon as the sorcerer sets down his cup,
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he keels over, completely stone dead.
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Vector: Oh, snap.
13:34
Griffin: Right away, Aladdin, who's been hiding just outside,
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rushes in, reaches into the sorcerer's robe, and takes the lamp.
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He rubs it and commands that the palace be immediately returned to its original spot.
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Back in China, the princess explains everything to her father.
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Aladdin's fake uncle, who's actually a sorcerer, the genies
13:54
of the lamp and the ring, and the kidnapping of the entire palace.
13:58
The sultan can hardly believe what he's hearing, but once the
14:01
princess finishes explaining, he lets out a big sigh of relief.
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He's just happy the ordeal is over.
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He also apologizes to Aladdin for almost having him killed.
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Spark: Nice.
14:11
So now everybody lives happily ever after.
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The end.
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Right?
14:17
Right?
14:18
Griffin: Well, almost.
14:20
You see, the sorcerer actually has a younger brother who's even more
14:24
powerful and evil, and this guy has a full goatee that he has grown
14:29
long and waxed into an evil point.
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Spark: Oh, no.
14:33
Vector: Ah yes, the final boss.
14:35
Griffin: And when this guy hears about what happened to
14:37
his brother, he swears revenge.
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So he cooks up an evil plan and travels to China disguised as a
14:44
famous holy woman named Fatima.
14:47
Vector: Wait, but what about his evil beard?
14:49
Griffin: Oh yeah, he shaves that, but he fully plans on
14:52
growing it back when he's done.
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So he arrives in Aladdin in Princess Badroulbador's city
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and goes around pretending to be Fatima by performing fake miracles.
15:02
When the princess hears Fatima is in town, she says, "We should
15:06
invite her to bless our palace."
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And so they do.
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Once inside the palace, the disguised sorcerer makes a big show of
15:13
muttering all kinds of fake blessings.
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Finally, he looks at the princess and says, " What this place really
15:20
needs in order to be truly blessed for the rest of time is a nice big
15:24
roc's egg to hang in the banquet hall.
15:27
That would really tie this place together.
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You know, from a blessing standpoint."
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Spark: What's a roc's egg?
15:33
Griffin: Oh, yeah.
15:34
A roc is a giant mythical bird.
15:37
According to legends, they were so big and so fierce they could carry
15:40
off and eat fully grown elephants.
15:42
Vector: That would make a big omelet.
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Griffin: Yep.
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Anyhow, Aladdin and the princess trust Fatima.
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After all, she's famous.
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So Aladdin goes to his chambers, rubs the lamp, and asks the genie for a roc's egg.
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The genie is not happy.
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He roars, " How dare you ask me for this?
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The roc is my master's master.
16:05
You want me to bring her egg and hang it in your palace like a decoration?
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Normally, I would kill you and everyone around you instantly.
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But I know you've been tricked.
16:19
That holy woman in your palace is actually a sorcerer, the brother
16:23
of that other dude you poisoned.
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This is part of his plot to kill you and take the lamp." Aladdin, with
16:31
his head spinning, thanks the Genie and apologizes for offending him.
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Vector: A doctor should look at his spinning head issue.
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Spark: It just means he's confused and overwhelmed.
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Vector: Right.
16:41
Sorry.
16:41
Continue.
16:44
Griffin: Once the genie returns the lamp, Aladdin sits down to think.
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He knows that as long as the sorcerer is alive, then he and
16:51
the princess will be in danger.
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So he goes downstairs, finds the princess, and says, "I have a terrible headache.
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Please send me Fatima.
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Maybe she can cure me." When the sorcerer, dressed like Fatima,
17:03
shows up, he's a little surprised that Aladdin is still alive.
17:08
He figured the genie would have slingshotted him into outer
17:10
space or exploded him into a million pieces or something.
17:14
But he figures it's no problem.
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When he gets close to Aladdin, he'll stab him with his dagger, steal the
17:19
lamp, and live happily ever after.
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Thinking about this little plan, he cackles as he approaches Aladdin.
17:25
Vector: Mwa-ha-ha.
17:26
Griffin: Vector.
17:28
But before he can even reach for his dagger, Aladdin jumps at him
17:31
with his dagger, stabs him in the heart, and kills him instantly.
17:36
Spark: Okay, wow.
17:37
Griffin: Yeah, and the princess is completely horrified.
17:40
She thinks Aladdin killed poor old Fatima.
17:43
Vector: Is it courteous in human culture to alert your partner when you are
17:46
planning to commit a surprising and horrifying murder in front of their eyes?
17:51
Griffin: I think it is, Vector.
17:52
I think it is.
17:55
In any case, now Aladdin pulls off the sorcerer's disguise and
17:58
explains, " This was never Fatima.
18:01
Remember that evil sorcerer who kidnapped you and the entire
18:04
palace and then we poisoned him?
18:06
Well, this was his even more evil and even more powerful little brother, and he was
18:11
here to kill us." And so, Aladdin and Princess Badroulbador rejoice at finally
18:17
being free from the threat of creepy evil sorcerers with bad facial hair.
18:21
Spark: Okay, now is it a happy ending?
18:23
Griffin: Now it's a happy ending.
18:25
Aladdin and the princess live long, happy lives.
18:28
Eventually, when the sultan dies, Aladdin becomes sultan.
18:31
He rules wisely and generously, only using the lamp genie when he
18:35
really needs to do something good.
18:37
Spark: What about the ring genie?
18:38
Still no one cares about the ring genie?
18:40
Griffin: Oh yeah, and the ring genie.
18:44
Anyway, he and the princess have many children and grandchildren, and
18:48
they all live happily ever after.
18:50
The end.
18:52
Spark: Wow, that story had so much chaos energy.
18:56
Like, no one can even remember the ring genie exists.
18:58
Vector: And the murder, there is so much murder.
19:01
Is murder customary in human culture?
19:04
Griffin: Yeah.
19:05
But one reason I like this story is 'cause it doesn't fit neatly into a box.
19:09
A lot of kids' stories we know have a super clear moral message, like be
19:13
kind, don't lie, love always beats hate.
19:16
But here, things are murkier.
19:18
Vector: So did this story teach us anything useful about humans?
19:21
Spark: Hmm, I think it shows that humans are complicated.
19:24
Aladdin makes terrible choices and good choices.
19:27
He's lazy and brave.
19:29
He's generous and selfish.
19:31
People aren't simply good or bad.
19:33
They're messy and contradictory.
19:35
Griffin: I agree, Spark.
19:36
And maybe that's why this story has lasted 300 years.
19:39
It doesn't give us easy answers.
19:41
Vector: Plus, we learn that human names have always been lame.
19:44
Griffin: Yes, Vector, that too.
19:45
Vector: It would have been objectively cooler to call this story Optimus
19:49
Robo Blaster 2000 and the Magic Lamp.
19:52
Spark: That would be a terrible name.
19:54
What are you even talking about?
19:57
Griffin: Make sure you come back for the next episode, another classic told
20:01
like you've never heard it before.
20:02
Spark: What is it?
20:03
What is it?
20:04
Griffin: Rapunzel.
20:05
Spark: I love that one.
20:06
Griffin: To make sure you don't miss it, hit follow wherever you're
20:09
listening, and the next episode of Stories for Robots will automatically
20:13
drop into your feed next week.
20:15
Spark: Oh, also don't forget to share the show with your friends.
20:18
Vector: Yes, hire a skywriting plane or get a large Stories for Robots
20:22
tattoo and other normal human things.
20:25
Spark: And give us a five-star rating on Spotify or Apple.
20:28
It helps other families find us.
20:32
Griffin: Stories for Robots was created, performed, and
20:34
produced by me, Griffin Schwed.
20:36
Special thanks to Jack, Chloe, and Annie Farber for editorial
20:40
consultation and moral support.
20:43
If you'd like to support or learn more about the show,
20:46
visit www.storiesforrobots.com.
20:50
Email hello@storiesforrobots.com if you have questions,
20:54
feedback, or ideas for the show.
20:56
I'd love to hear from you.
20:58
Spark: Vector, what would you do if you had a genie?
21:00
Vector: Well, I don't need one because I'm perfect.
21:02
Griffin: At least you're confident.
21:04
Vector: But I would probably get gold plating and laser cannon arms.
21:07
Spark: I would probably travel the world.
21:09
Vector: Boring.
21:10
Once you've seen humans in one place, you've seen them everywhere.
21:16
Robot disclosure.
21:17
My voice and Spark's voice are given a beautiful robot
21:20
makeover using AI technology.
21:22
That is why we sound so cool and good.
21:25
Spark: We really do.
21:26
Oh, and the background music was also created using AI tech.