Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / FOCUS: Do Your Future Self a Favour

Transcript

FOCUS: Do Your Future Self a Favour · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I am so big on this concept of doing your
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: future self a favor. And the reason I'm so big
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: on this concept is because we think about our future
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: selves all the time, but we often don't do our
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: future selves a favor, even when we're feeling really driven
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and really motivated. For example, most of the time, when
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: we're about to set a goal for ourselves or a
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: new habit or a new routine, we think, on Monday,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: that's it, I'm going to book a gym class. Every
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: single day. I'm going at six am, bang bang bang bang,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: or from Sunday onwards, I'm going to prep all my meals.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: And not only am I going to prep those meals,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: but they're the fucking meals that I'm going to be
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: eating Monday through to Friday. That's what I'm doing. So
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: we plan all this shit for the self of next week,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: for the self of next month, and it's so easy
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: to do that from the comfort of this beautiful meal
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: that you're having your cut. Most of the time when
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: we make these plans, we're currently indulging in something that
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: we're not planning on doing for our future self. So often,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: and this is like typical of my mother and my aunties.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: They'll be eating cake, eating cake, shoving it in their face,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: saying we're cutting out sugar for the next month. This
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: is the last one to know how easy it is
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: when you're currently satisfying a temptation or a craving to
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: then make these plans for the future. It's so easy
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: because you're also semi you know, you're thinking, oh, you know,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling like I'm eating more than I really even
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: need to be. I'm feeling like I've just really shoved
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: my face with sugar. I probably could have easily had
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: fart half, but I'm gonna empower myself by saying that
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: for the next week, I'm not even gonna touch sugar.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: It's a lie that we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: this lie all the time. We do this to ourselves constantly,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: yet it never works. And the weird thing is that
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: we fall for it again and again and again. It's
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: like we are just suckers for this specific kind of
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: failure unishment. Okay, so in reverse, I want you to
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: actually do your future self a favor instead of saying
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do anything right now to action this,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: but my future self is going to action it because
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: for some weird reason, my future self is going to
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: be a more driven, motivated, less tempted version of myself,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: which is not the reality. Instead, turn it around and
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: you think, what can I do right now? What action
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: could I do now today that will serve my future self.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: You are turning the tables around. You are reversing it. Okay, So,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: no matter where you are in the day, whether it's
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: the morning, whether it's nighttime, no matter how busy you are,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: you can always do something for your future self. And
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I would love for you to take this concept with
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: you into almost every single day off your life, because
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: there's always something you can do, always something. For example,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: if you are somebody that takes the trash, ties the
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: knot and puts it at the front door, and then
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: every morning the next morning you're like, oh fuck, I
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: want to put something in the bin, but there's no bag.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: There's no like bag in the bin. You then have
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: to go and fucking grab a bag. That could be
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: the favor that you do for you tomorrow self. Don't
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: build it up to be this massive thing. You start small,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: and when you do that favor enough, it becomes a habit,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: It becomes a ritual and you can't even find them
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: not doing it because you feel weird. Okay, so that's
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the beauty of doing these favors for your future self. Alternatively,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: you could be doing something a lot more. Let's say
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: that you're someone like my mum and auntie who are saying,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: that's it, I'm gonna cut out this whatever. If you're
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: the kind of person who is like, I really want
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: to eat healthy, I really want to X y Z.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: But then the moment you eat one quote unquote bad
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: food or whatever you want to call it, a tree
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: to sugary thing, whatever you consider it to me, I
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: mean personally, I don't like to categorize foods as good, bad, whatever.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I don't like to put too much emotion towards foods.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: But that's an whole nother story. If you're in that situation,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: a lot of people will have one thing that they
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: have labeled as bad in their mind, and they think, well,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: the days of right off now, so I might as
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: well just fill up the day with as much bad
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: shit as possible. Might as well sicken myself so that way,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: tomorrow I'm disgusted at my actions of today, and I'm
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: more likely to eat healthy. That's what a lot of
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: people do. What you could do as an alternative is
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: if you start the day and you end up, you know,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: eating something that wasn't your intended idea for the start
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: of the day. Is to say, I'm going to do
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: my tomorrow self, my future self a favor, and the
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: meal prep that I thought I was going to start tomorrow,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna start today and I'm gonna have one of
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: those meals for dinner, for example, Or even though I've
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: normally would blow the rest of the day away, I'm
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: gonna go and do a yoga class, you know, really
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: feel good about myself, really feel good within my body,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: and not feel like I have to punish myself because
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I just ate this one thing which I have loaded
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: so much emotion onto. For example. Another thing you could
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: do is make that one fucking phone call that you've
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: been dreading all week, or setting up this is me,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I'm taking a leaf out of my own book today.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Right now, I'm going to set up that you know,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: toll payment tag, so that way I do my future
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: self a favor. So every time I go through a
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: toll I'm not thinking, fuck, I'm gonna get a fine
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: because I didn't do the tag. Little shit like that.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: It's the tiniest things. But at the start of the day,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: you want to think, how can I do with my
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: future self a favor? And then at the end of
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: the day, I want you to note down what that
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: thing was, and if there's nothing, get the fuck out
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: of bed and just put your outfit together for the
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: following day. Doesn't have to be your workout. You don't
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: have to be working out, just your outfit for the
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: day of tomorrow. So that way you get one little
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: task out of the way. You've done yourself that little favor.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: You've made your day just that little bit easier. You
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: set up the outfit, you put your shoes out. It's
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: nice to feel organized. It's nice to wake up thinking
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad my old self did that for me today.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: That is so awesome of me. All right now, your
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: future self also is any version of yourself that is
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: in front of where you are. So for the purpose
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: of today's episode, I want to break those things into
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I want to break it down into two categories. Okay,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: So there is the very near future self, okay, and
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: that is the you of tonight, the U of next week, okay,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: pretty much like in the next couple of days. That's
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: that's like putting the outfit out for tomorrow. That is,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: you know, the meal prep that's vacuuming tonight so that
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: tomorrow you don't have to do it. Shit like that
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: little task that you can take away from the future
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: self and do it now if you have the capacity.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: That's version one. The other one, the other version is
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: your further future self. Like we're talking six to like
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: eighteen months from today. The kind of version of you
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: that if you were to start a habit today, or
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: a hobby or learning a skill where you can system obviously,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: and you're doing it regularly, like five days out of
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: seven or you know, three days out of five whatever,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: that in a six to eighteen month timeframe, you would
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: really start to see some big changes. You would really
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: start to see achievements, you would really start to reap
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: some rewards, you'd see growth in these areas. That's what
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I mean about more of a long term future self,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: where if you were to implement these little daily things,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: when you were to look back after eighteen months, you'd
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: be like, fuck, look at the difference that I've made.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Look at the difference that that time has made right.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: So ideally, and this is a little task for you,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: you can just pick one of them, but I would
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: love if you have the capacity, which most of us do,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: to do one for each category every single day. Okay,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: one for the short term future you do that time
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: little task for tomorrow, and one for the long term
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: future you So that is where you're working on a habit,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: a ritual, a skill, something where you're seeing long term
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: growth where there isn't like a cap at the end
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: of it, where you can exponentially continue growing. And that's
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: why I always think like learning a kind of skill
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: is really good for that because you can always improve
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: it a skill no matter where you are, no matter
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: how good you are. And that's why I love to choose, like,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: you know, a language or an instrument, or a dance
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: or drawing, whatever it is, but something that you can
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: be working towards, or even something more like more linked
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: to your career doesn't have to be a hobby. Okay. Now,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: to implement all of this, what I personally do and
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I want you guys to use as well, is I
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: say a little statement to myself because we all have
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: this little moment of like that initial umph, that initial
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: drive to get up and do something, and we are
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: so good at then pausing and thing oh later, we
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: you know where you think, well, I could do that
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: right now. That is when you should be jumping up
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: and doing it, but we're always intercepting it with like, oh,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: but actually that's really unpleasant because it means that I've
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: got to put my shoes on. It means that I
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: have to go outside. Is it going to be old outside?
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Do we need to put a jacket? Too much of it?
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Not gonna do it? Not going to do it today,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: so my tomorrow self can do it. That interception of
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: negative thoughts is going to continue to happen. So to
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: think that it's not gonna happen is, you know, kind
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: of being naive when you already know yourself so well.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: So instead of that, ideally you want to implement the
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: five second rule that mel Robins always talks out. But
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: if you're not implementing that five second rule and you're
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: not jumping up the moment you think I've got to
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: do that, and you start talking yourself out of it.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: What I said to myself once I've started that little
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: conversation back and forth like, nah, nah, I'll do it later,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: and I justify why I should do it later. I
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: then stop and I ask myself what am I telling
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: my future self by not doing this thing right now?
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: And then I think, fuck that my future self will
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: be so annoyed at me and so disappointed. Sometimes I
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: look at myself and I look at the past, and
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I think, ah, why didn't you just do that fucking
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: thing now? I've got too much to do today, Or
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: why didn't you just when you were doing nothing and
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: you want even enjoying your spare time, you're just sitting
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: scrolling on your phone. Why wasn't that the time that
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: you were practicing the guitar, or were you know, doing
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: joy lingo learning a language. It's frustrating, And all you
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: have to do is put yourself right now in a
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: position when you're annoyed at your past self and not
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: taking action on something. Remember that emotion, and that is
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: the emotion that you have to think about when you're
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: asking yourself, what will it mean to my future self
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: if I do not take action on this thing right now? Okay?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And more often than not, you're gonna think it's not
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: worth it to not take action on this thing. It's
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: such a simple task. Just do it, or do ten
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: percent of that task. Do something, and then the moment
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: you've gone and done that tak and you sit back down.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: You will always always feel better for having done it.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: You never regret doing a task that's going to help
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: your future self. Ever, you never regret taking the rubbish
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: out ever. Right, it's just annoying when you're doing it,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: but it feels good. It feels good to have a
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: tidy home. It feels good have worked towards something that
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: makes your space cleaner, something that helps you grow, something
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: that helps you learn, something that makes you healthier, fitter, happier, calmer. Okay,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: so that is what I want you to focus on today.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: You're going to do your future self a favor. You're
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: going to think about category A and category B. Ideally
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: you're going to do one from each category, and when
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: all else fails, you're gonna then intercept it and ask yourself,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: what will it mean to my future self if I
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: don't take action on this task, and then watch yourself
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: go and take action. Amasa. I hope you guys enjoyed
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: today's pep talk. As always, please remember becond to yourself,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: become to your brand. Don't take shit from anyone, and
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: especially don't take shit from yourself. Dot cold