Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Behind the Glamour: Taylor Hill on Beauty, Modeling, and Self-Worth

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Behind the Glamour: Taylor Hill on Beauty, Modeling, and Self-Worth · QUESTION EVERYTHING

0:04
Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
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Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests
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1:02
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1:03
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Speaker 1: It really helps, and email it to me and maybe
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Speaker 1: we could chat. Okay, we have a great episode today,
2:37
Speaker 1: so I don't want to blab on and today feels
2:41
Speaker 1: like it's in the pocket of the name of the
2:43
Speaker 1: podcast pretty smart. Sometimes, as a culture, I think we're
2:49
Speaker 1: fascinated by supermodels. Yeah, maybe the glamour of it, but
2:53
Speaker 1: really I think it's because we assume that they don't
2:55
Speaker 1: experience the same insecurities that.
2:57
Speaker 2: We do right, wrong, so wrong.
3:03
Speaker 1: And I wouldn't have known that until about a few
3:05
Speaker 1: years ago when I interviewed a Victoria's Secret model who
3:08
Speaker 1: shared something super surprising. She said that she believed that
3:12
Speaker 1: once she was cast, she'd never feel ugly again, but
3:16
Speaker 1: in reality, she said she'd never felt more insecure in
3:19
Speaker 1: her life. And that conversation made me reflect deeply on
3:24
Speaker 1: the concept of beauty because we often hear that phrase
3:27
Speaker 1: beauty is power, and so we assume that these supermodels
3:31
Speaker 1: just wield power, right, and maybe on a superficial or
3:35
Speaker 1: transactional level, yeah, maybe it can be powerful. But the
3:39
Speaker 1: question that came to my mind is if we reject
3:42
Speaker 1: that notion, which I really do because I've personally experienced
3:47
Speaker 1: so much power from other things, The question is where
3:51
Speaker 1: does your power come from? And I want you to
3:54
Speaker 1: keep that question in mind today as I introduced the
3:58
Speaker 1: podcast and as we have this conversation, that question is
4:03
Speaker 1: something I've honestly been thinking about since twenty ten when
4:06
Speaker 1: I watched Raquel Welch on the Oprah Winfrey Show. If
4:10
Speaker 1: you're not familiar with her, for more than forty years,
4:12
Speaker 1: Raquel was one of America's most famous sex symbols. People
4:16
Speaker 1: became obsessed with her appearance after one million years BC,
4:21
Speaker 1: much like the public fixation on Kim Kardashian today, to
4:23
Speaker 1: be honest, so it was really impactful when Raquel Welch
4:27
Speaker 1: shared this reflective moment on the Oprah Show when she
4:30
Speaker 1: realized for the first time that people weren't looking her
4:33
Speaker 1: way like they used to. In the interview, she described
4:38
Speaker 1: sitting at this restaurant and walking through to her table
4:41
Speaker 1: and noticing that nobody's heads turned. That the usual attention
4:45
Speaker 1: she was so accustomed to stemming from her beauty and
4:48
Speaker 1: her status had faded, And this realization was so poignant
4:52
Speaker 1: and humbling, and it forced her to ask herself where
4:56
Speaker 1: her self image stemmed from.
4:58
Speaker 2: Raquel's story was a power orful.
5:00
Speaker 1: Reminder that true beauty comes from self confidence and a
5:03
Speaker 1: strong self worth.
5:06
Speaker 2: We know that, but what does that really mean? Right?
5:09
Speaker 2: You want to hear something cool.
5:10
Speaker 1: All of the studies that I've ever read say that
5:13
Speaker 1: women's self image and confidence and self worth actually increases
5:17
Speaker 1: with age, And this idea of self worth is something
5:20
Speaker 1: I've personally been reflecting on in recent months. I've always
5:24
Speaker 1: considered myself confident. I don't know if that sounds weird
5:28
Speaker 1: to say, but I have. And so I started to
5:30
Speaker 1: ask myself, why was I struggling to put a fair
5:34
Speaker 1: price on my time and my skills? Why was I
5:38
Speaker 1: having a hard time with boundaries, mostly saying no to
5:41
Speaker 1: people who wanted my time when I didn't even have
5:43
Speaker 1: enough time for myself. And if I'm being super honest,
5:48
Speaker 1: I think in the past I've stayed in relationships that
5:50
Speaker 1: really weren't for me, maybe even accepting the I don't
5:55
Speaker 1: want to say bare minimum, but just like accepting a
5:58
Speaker 1: relationship that wasn't at the level that I wanted it
6:02
Speaker 1: to be at. And I started thinking, were those things
6:06
Speaker 1: and indicator of a lack of confidence? Was I not
6:09
Speaker 1: as confident as I thought I was? And then it
6:12
Speaker 1: hit me. Confidence or self esteem is about how you
6:15
Speaker 1: feel about yourself, but self worth is about what you
6:19
Speaker 1: believe you deserve. And so while my self esteem may
6:23
Speaker 1: be okay, my self worth that is something I had
6:29
Speaker 1: to dig into deeper. That's why I'm so excited to
6:34
Speaker 1: speak with Taylor Hill today, because supermodels have long been
6:37
Speaker 1: seen as the ultimate symbols of beauty and power and glamour,
6:42
Speaker 1: from the Big Six of the nineties like Naomi Campbell
6:44
Speaker 1: and Kate Moss to Giselle Bunschen I never know how
6:48
Speaker 1: to pronounce her name and Kendall Jenner, but we often
6:52
Speaker 1: reduce them to just that images of perfection without exploring
6:57
Speaker 1: the depth and complexity of their stories. And if you're
7:00
Speaker 1: thinking supermodels, really, Danielle.
7:03
Speaker 2: I get it.
7:04
Speaker 1: But I think one of the most interesting parts of
7:06
Speaker 1: feminism is exploring all women's stories, including those in spaces
7:12
Speaker 1: we might not expect. So today, what if we look
7:15
Speaker 1: beyond the surface. What if we recognize that being a
7:17
Speaker 1: supermodel isn't just about confidence or sex appeal, but about
7:21
Speaker 1: navigating an industry that places immense pressure on women to
7:25
Speaker 1: meet impossible standards, a world that both glorifies and objectifies
7:30
Speaker 1: them at the same time. Today, Taylor Hill, a supermodel,
7:34
Speaker 1: fashion icon, and businesswoman, takes us behind the glossy photos
7:39
Speaker 1: and the runway lights. While her career might seem like
7:42
Speaker 1: a fairy tale, being scouted at fourteen and becoming a
7:45
Speaker 1: Victoria's Secret model by nineteen, The reality is more complex.
7:50
Speaker 1: Taylor's journey is one of sacrifice, perseverance, and navigating an
7:54
Speaker 1: industry that can make even the most beautiful women feel invisible.
7:58
Speaker 3: I definitely I felt different. I was really tall, I
8:03
Speaker 3: was really thin. I didn't have like a typical high
8:07
Speaker 3: school boys ideal pretty girl aesthetic. I was a gangly
8:16
Speaker 3: and you know, taller than all the boys. So I
8:19
Speaker 3: didn't feel beautiful. Not because boys made me feel bad,
8:23
Speaker 3: they just didn't even know I existed.
8:25
Speaker 1: In our conversation today, Taylor shares how she reclaimed her
8:29
Speaker 1: power and self worth in an industry that often tries
8:32
Speaker 1: to define women on its own terms. She talks about
8:35
Speaker 1: the hard work, the luck, and the timing that helped
8:38
Speaker 1: shape her career, and most importantly, the boundaries she set
8:42
Speaker 1: for herself along the way.
8:44
Speaker 3: I grew up in fashion. My self image and self
8:48
Speaker 3: worth was something that I taught myself and practiced with
8:52
Speaker 3: myself because I don't think you should let your job
8:56
Speaker 3: or what you do for a living teach that to you.
8:59
Speaker 3: I think you should always keep that outside of what
9:02
Speaker 3: you're doing. And I always love keeping those two things separate.
9:05
Speaker 2: I was really taken by that.
9:08
Speaker 1: So Taylor invites us to go beyond the surface to
9:11
Speaker 1: see the strength it takes to thrive in an industry
9:14
Speaker 1: built on looks. She shares her perspective on beauty, how
9:18
Speaker 1: she's navigated loss and grief, and how her journey towards
9:21
Speaker 1: self love has opened new opportunities.
9:28
Speaker 2: Taylor Hill, Welcome to Pretty Smart.
9:31
Speaker 3: Thanks for having me. So you grew up.
9:33
Speaker 1: Riding horses, biking outdoors, learning about you. I would have
9:40
Speaker 1: never thought that Taylor would have ended up in fashion.
9:44
Speaker 1: What would fourteen year old Taylor be most surprised about
9:47
Speaker 1: your life today?
9:49
Speaker 3: I mean probably every single aspect of it. I knew
9:54
Speaker 3: obviously what fashion was and models, and you know, I'm
9:58
Speaker 3: from Colorado, so Ralph Lauren was a really big deal,
10:02
Speaker 3: a huge designer that everybody in Colorado knew who that was.
10:05
Speaker 3: But I didn't really understand as a whole the concept
10:10
Speaker 3: of fashion. I didn't know that that was something that
10:12
Speaker 3: I would ever do, that it was something that was
10:14
Speaker 3: possible for me to do. I didn't even know how
10:18
Speaker 3: to access the fashion industry. So when I was scouted
10:23
Speaker 3: and kind of thrown into it all. I kind of
10:25
Speaker 3: look back on who I was when I was fourteen
10:28
Speaker 3: and think, how did I get here?
10:32
Speaker 1: So you mentioned being scouted at fourteen. From what it
10:35
Speaker 1: sounds like your life changed so quickly. Yeah, what happened,
10:38
Speaker 1: It did, but it didn't. It's kind of interesting because
10:42
Speaker 1: everything takes time. So sometimes it feels when I'm telling
10:46
Speaker 1: the story of my career that it happened overnight and
10:49
Speaker 1: I went from middle of nowhere, Colorado to fashion shows
10:54
Speaker 1: in New York the next day.
10:55
Speaker 3: But it wasn't really like that at all. It took years.
10:58
Speaker 3: I was definitely scouted and things started moving and changing quickly.
11:02
Speaker 3: But I moved to New York when I was seventeen,
11:06
Speaker 3: and before that, I was just kind of booking direct
11:08
Speaker 3: jobs from my town in Colorado and going to school
11:12
Speaker 3: and flying to La New York Paris, which is like crazy.
11:16
Speaker 3: But it was definitely a time of building and getting
11:20
Speaker 3: images from my book and gaining experience and going on
11:24
Speaker 3: castings and meeting photographers and stylists and editors of magazines
11:30
Speaker 3: and casting directors for big projects. So it really took time.
11:35
Speaker 3: So it really felt like my career started blossoming and
11:41
Speaker 3: blooming by the time I turned eighteen, So it was
11:44
Speaker 3: four years of hard work, dedication, traveling, and you know,
11:49
Speaker 3: booking one thing after the other for my life to
11:52
Speaker 3: feel like, oh my god, it's so different now when.
11:55
Speaker 1: I talk to people that have careers in high school,
11:58
Speaker 1: it's fifty to fifty. Some people are like, everyone was
12:01
Speaker 1: really supportive and nice, and some people say it was brutal,
12:05
Speaker 1: and people like other kids are so mean, what was
12:07
Speaker 1: it like for you?
12:09
Speaker 3: For me, because I'm from the middle of nowhere, I
12:12
Speaker 3: feel like people didn't understand what I was doing. It's
12:15
Speaker 3: not like I was an actor on a TV sow
12:17
Speaker 3: that they watched every day, right. I was a model
12:20
Speaker 3: in fashion campaigns that they didn't understand or they had
12:23
Speaker 3: never seen or heard of that brand before point. So
12:27
Speaker 3: I feel like what I was doing was very niche
12:30
Speaker 3: and kind of easy to hide where people didn't really know.
12:33
Speaker 3: They just thought Taylor misses a lot of school, she's
12:35
Speaker 3: like a model, whatever that means. We never see any
12:38
Speaker 3: of her works. So also, it was very I feel
12:42
Speaker 3: like I always tried to be low key because I
12:46
Speaker 3: did not like attention. I was very shy. I had,
12:51
Speaker 3: you know, my four or five friends, and I really
12:54
Speaker 3: loved them. They were great, and you know, my friends
12:57
Speaker 3: in school were awesome, but I didn't have a lot
13:00
Speaker 3: of them, And yeah, I liked that. I prefer it
13:03
Speaker 3: that way.
13:03
Speaker 2: Are you still like that?
13:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm still like that. I don't have like a
13:07
Speaker 3: huge friend group. I have amazing friends that I love,
13:10
Speaker 3: and I feel like I have quite a few, Like
13:13
Speaker 3: I do feel like I personally have a lot of friends,
13:15
Speaker 3: but maybe it's not like twenty thirty people, you know.
13:19
Speaker 3: So for me, I felt still pretty normal when I
13:23
Speaker 3: was in school because I think my job, it was
13:26
Speaker 3: kind of not something that was sort of in your
13:29
Speaker 3: face where everything changes and the next thing you know,
13:31
Speaker 3: you're famous and you're on a TV show and the
13:36
Speaker 3: kids in your school are watching you on the TV show.
13:38
Speaker 3: Like that didn't really happen to me. So I feel
13:40
Speaker 3: like I kind of kept a really good mix and
13:42
Speaker 3: a really good balance of both. Yeah.
13:44
Speaker 1: I read or actually I saw in another interview that
13:47
Speaker 1: you did that you felt ugly as a kid.
13:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one can believe you felt ugly. What was that?
13:54
Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like a lot of teenagers
13:57
Speaker 3: maybe go through the space. Yeah, they just feel awkward
14:00
Speaker 3: in their body. And just uncomfortable in who they are.
14:04
Speaker 3: And I definitely felt different. I was really tall, I
14:09
Speaker 3: was really thin. I didn't have like a typical high
14:13
Speaker 3: school boys ideal, like pretty girl aesthetic. I don't know
14:21
Speaker 3: what the word is, but I was like gangly and
14:23
Speaker 3: you know, taller than all the boys. So I didn't
14:26
Speaker 3: feel beautiful. Not because boys made me feel bad. They
14:30
Speaker 3: just didn't even know I existed, you know what I mean.
14:33
Speaker 3: That's just the way it was. No one was mean
14:36
Speaker 3: to me like, no one was. It wasn't like that.
14:38
Speaker 3: It was just because I felt uncomfortable because I was like,
14:40
Speaker 3: I don't I'm too tall. I'm taller than all of them.
14:43
Speaker 3: There's no way they're gonna like me. So I didn't
14:44
Speaker 3: put myself out there and I didn't get like actual
14:48
Speaker 3: confirmation if that was true or not. It was just
14:50
Speaker 3: something that I started believing in my head because I
14:53
Speaker 3: felt uncomfortable.
14:55
Speaker 2: So do you remember when you started feeling not ugly?
14:59
Speaker 3: When I started modeling, it really helped me with my
15:02
Speaker 3: self confidence. I feel like some people tell a different
15:06
Speaker 3: story of the modeling industry, but I think for me,
15:09
Speaker 3: my personal experience was that it was really helpful and
15:13
Speaker 3: being on sets with adults and hair and makeup people
15:18
Speaker 3: and stylists and photographers saying you're so beautiful changed the
15:24
Speaker 3: way I thought about myself. At first, I didn't believe it.
15:27
Speaker 3: I was like, there's no way they think I'm actually beautiful,
15:30
Speaker 3: Like that's crazy. I've never had attention before. I didn't
15:34
Speaker 3: really want it. I didn't know how to do anything
15:39
Speaker 3: or act to receive it. So when they started telling
15:43
Speaker 3: me you're really beautiful or this image is so beautiful,
15:46
Speaker 3: I was like, really with me. So for me at fourteen,
15:53
Speaker 3: having to start, you know, doing all these different being
15:58
Speaker 3: in all these different scenarios and being around adults and
16:01
Speaker 3: being on a set, you have to sort of fake
16:03
Speaker 3: it till you make it in the sense of confidence.
16:07
Speaker 3: So I started pretending like I was confident, and then
16:12
Speaker 3: it slowly started becoming true because that's cool. I got
16:15
Speaker 3: positive reinforcement from people around me and people supporting me
16:19
Speaker 3: on sets, and I think they understood that I was
16:22
Speaker 3: really young, and there was a lot of maybe over
16:24
Speaker 3: encouragement that I got that if I was older I
16:27
Speaker 3: maybe wouldn't have received because they're like, oh my god,
16:29
Speaker 3: she's so cute. She's like fifteen right, so we have
16:32
Speaker 3: to make her feel excited, and they would play like
16:36
Speaker 3: you know, Selena Gomez and like teen pop music for
16:39
Speaker 3: me on set and like make me feel a part
16:42
Speaker 3: of it. I guess. So for me, amazing. It helped
16:44
Speaker 3: me feel start feeling okay, maybe I am beautiful.
16:48
Speaker 2: Did you ever feel like commodified in any way?
16:53
Speaker 3: And no, because maybe I was just really young and
16:56
Speaker 3: I didn't really understand that or know what that looks
17:00
Speaker 3: like or meant. But I also feel like I was
17:02
Speaker 3: pretty protected because my mom came with me everywhere, so
17:06
Speaker 3: I think that she set a really good boundary with
17:08
Speaker 3: people around me and was always on set, always watching,
17:11
Speaker 3: always making sure I felt comfortable and like I was okay.
17:14
Speaker 3: So for me, I didn't ever really feel like that.
17:17
Speaker 1: Part of me feels like it's because you were on
17:19
Speaker 1: your soul path too. Yeah, you know, like it's not
17:22
Speaker 1: for everybody, even though some people do it.
17:25
Speaker 2: And it was for you.
17:26
Speaker 3: I loved it. I felt comfortable as soon as I
17:30
Speaker 3: started doing it. And you know, people have asked me,
17:33
Speaker 3: you know, it makes no sense, it's not adding up.
17:36
Speaker 3: You say, you're really shy, and then who you are
17:38
Speaker 3: being a model, Like how is that possible. I honestly
17:41
Speaker 3: have no idea because for me, I felt like one
17:46
Speaker 3: side of me would turn off and another side would
17:48
Speaker 3: just light up. When I was on a set, I
17:51
Speaker 3: felt like, this is where I'm supposed to be, this
17:53
Speaker 3: is where I belong, this is what I meant to do,
17:55
Speaker 3: And I never had a feeling of why am I here?
18:00
Speaker 3: Why am I doing this? Maybe as I got older
18:02
Speaker 3: and I've been working really hard, and you always wonder
18:05
Speaker 3: am I doing the right thing? Or am I going
18:07
Speaker 3: to make it? When am I going to have my
18:10
Speaker 3: you know, big chance? Or when is it? When am
18:13
Speaker 3: I going to get past this stage and go to
18:14
Speaker 3: the next stage. And there's definitely a lot of that
18:17
Speaker 3: because in modeling it's it's still a creative field, so
18:21
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a lot of luck involved in
18:23
Speaker 3: a lot of it, and timing is everything. But I
18:26
Speaker 3: definitely had determination and I really wanted to do it
18:31
Speaker 3: and I was happy to be there, so kind of
18:34
Speaker 3: goes hand in hand.
18:35
Speaker 1: I really like hearing that, and I'm not just saying
18:39
Speaker 1: that to be corny. I haven't heard that story very much,
18:44
Speaker 1: and I think that's really cool. Yeah, what do you
18:47
Speaker 1: think the difference is between a good model and a
18:49
Speaker 1: great model.
18:50
Speaker 3: Oh, I've got to think about that. And one was
18:52
Speaker 3: ever asking that before. A good model is you're there,
18:56
Speaker 3: you're doing your job, you're showing up on time, you're
18:59
Speaker 3: getting the shots, and you're doing you know, what's required
19:03
Speaker 3: of you to be a model. But I think a
19:06
Speaker 3: great model is putting in effort and you know, collaborating
19:13
Speaker 3: making things better, or trying their hardest to make the
19:19
Speaker 3: day feel fun and creative and seamless.
19:26
Speaker 1: You know.
19:27
Speaker 3: I think what makes the great the supermodels, what I
19:32
Speaker 3: think makes them so incredible and so amazing, and why
19:36
Speaker 3: they're supermodels is because I've been in the industry for
19:40
Speaker 3: you know, fourteen years, and I've heard about all of them,
19:43
Speaker 3: and I know people who've worked with them for a
19:45
Speaker 3: really long time. And while I don't know them personally,
19:48
Speaker 3: I can say that people who do have personal accounts
19:51
Speaker 3: with them have nothing but positive things to say that
19:54
Speaker 3: they show up on time, they're there to do their job,
19:56
Speaker 3: They thank everyone when they leave. If they have an
19:59
Speaker 3: opinion about something or they're not comfortable with something, they
20:02
Speaker 3: say it, but they do it in a way that's respectful.
20:04
Speaker 3: They are really fun to be around. They love working
20:08
Speaker 3: with them on set. They love that they have all
20:10
Speaker 3: this energy and they're great models because you get in
20:13
Speaker 3: front of the camera and they know how.
20:14
Speaker 1: To do their job, like they know the lighting, they know, yeah,
20:19
Speaker 1: like how to make their body look fluid.
20:22
Speaker 2: Yeah.
20:22
Speaker 3: So I think that's what makes them so amazing and great.
20:27
Speaker 1: One of the things that I think about with modeling
20:30
Speaker 1: is like you are the nexus of energy on set.
20:34
Speaker 1: So if you come in and you're like a little
20:36
Speaker 1: sleepy that day, the photographer is not as inspired, thepas
20:40
Speaker 1: aren't as inspired.
20:41
Speaker 2: Like you have to show up and always be inspired.
20:44
Speaker 3: Always and be on and be you know, excited to
20:47
Speaker 3: be there and you know, make the day feel bright because.
20:53
Speaker 2: Like what happens when you're going through a breakup.
20:55
Speaker 3: It's not happening. Turn it off, not happening, put it away,
21:00
Speaker 3: and you're able to do that.
21:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, damn you can compartmentalize.
21:07
Speaker 3: Yeah. I just also I just feel like I don't
21:10
Speaker 3: know any better. You know, when you've been doing it
21:12
Speaker 3: so long and that's all you know and that's all
21:14
Speaker 3: you know how to do, then that's just kind of
21:16
Speaker 3: what you have to do.
21:17
Speaker 1: As somebody who didn't feel beautiful and then came into
21:22
Speaker 1: the modeling world and started feeling beautiful.
21:27
Speaker 2: How do you think about it now? How do you
21:28
Speaker 2: think about beauty now?
21:29
Speaker 1: Because from the outside it seems like a lot of
21:32
Speaker 1: pressure because like the average woman walks around and feels
21:36
Speaker 1: like their beauty is part of their value, but in
21:39
Speaker 1: modeling it really is.
21:43
Speaker 3: It's literally the currency of my job is how you look. Yeah,
21:48
Speaker 3: I think it's another compartmentalizing thing. We just kind of
21:52
Speaker 3: have to put it to the side and say, it's
21:55
Speaker 3: not about me. It's not about it's sure it's sometimes
22:00
Speaker 3: about how I look, for sure, but it's not about
22:04
Speaker 3: like how I look, you know what I mean, It's
22:06
Speaker 3: about what they want me to look like? Can I
22:10
Speaker 3: do that for them? Am I able to transform in
22:14
Speaker 3: their eyes into some sort of vision in their head?
22:19
Speaker 3: I don't think it has anything to do with a
22:22
Speaker 3: negative attributes to how you are perceived. I think it's
22:28
Speaker 3: just it's literally could literally just be she's not blonde. Yeah,
22:34
Speaker 3: It's just like something simple like that. And that's why, right,
22:39
Speaker 3: So you have to sort of separate your physical self
22:43
Speaker 3: and in your modeling career from your physical self in
22:45
Speaker 3: your everyday life because they're not looking at you the
22:49
Speaker 3: way you think they are. I think it's very much like,
22:53
Speaker 3: very separate, and it also has nothing to do with
22:56
Speaker 3: who you are, because I know that obviously I've gotten
23:00
Speaker 3: this opportunity and I get to walk in those stores
23:02
Speaker 3: because people like the way that I look. But I
23:05
Speaker 3: think that I'm still here and I get to continue
23:08
Speaker 3: to do it. I do as my job because people
23:11
Speaker 3: like who I am and I've made great friendships. I
23:15
Speaker 3: have amazing relationships, and it's sort of just like doing
23:18
Speaker 3: any other job where you create connections and build a network.
23:21
Speaker 3: And if you leave one opportunity and you know that
23:25
Speaker 3: your old boss is here, you might be in more
23:27
Speaker 3: of a position to get that job because they worked
23:31
Speaker 3: with you at your last job. But in the beginning,
23:34
Speaker 3: instead of it being about your resume, for sure, it's
23:36
Speaker 3: about how you look. My physical self is my hi,
23:41
Speaker 3: here I am, Here's my resume, And then I can
23:44
Speaker 3: continue to keep booking because I kind of get to
23:46
Speaker 3: grow and expand off of that.
23:48
Speaker 1: So you turn eighteen and you book the victorious Secret
23:52
Speaker 1: Angel job, and at that time that.
23:55
Speaker 2: Was the job. Oh yeah, there was no other job.
23:58
Speaker 1: That was it. I'm so excited to hear that in
24:01
Speaker 1: your audition. It was your authenticity that won them over.
24:05
Speaker 1: Can you tell that story?
24:06
Speaker 3: So I went in really early. They have three days
24:10
Speaker 3: of castings, and I was there on the first day
24:13
Speaker 3: and I had to go in at ten am, which
24:16
Speaker 3: was when it started, and I had to leave two
24:20
Speaker 3: hours later to go here to lax for a shoot
24:24
Speaker 3: in California, and that was my only slot to do
24:29
Speaker 3: the casting. So I was the first one there on
24:32
Speaker 3: the first day. It was literally me. I walked in
24:34
Speaker 3: and there was no one else there.
24:37
Speaker 1: You don't ever want to be the first one because
24:38
Speaker 1: you feel like they forget it, they.
24:40
Speaker 3: Forget about you. Yeah, And here I was being like, oh,
24:42
Speaker 3: first one, They're never gonna remember me. And I just
24:47
Speaker 3: kind of went in there and I was really nervous,
24:49
Speaker 3: but I had to go, you know, I had places
24:51
Speaker 3: to be. I had to go to the airport. I'm
24:53
Speaker 3: thinking about the next thing, and I think because maybe
24:56
Speaker 3: my head was in the place of I'm not going
25:00
Speaker 3: to think too much about this because I'm stressed about
25:04
Speaker 3: getting there. I kind of feel like I was really
25:07
Speaker 3: present and kind of dropped a lot of the anticipation,
25:11
Speaker 3: like am I going to be good enough? And also
25:13
Speaker 3: I had been casting for runway shows for four years
25:16
Speaker 3: before I did The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, So even
25:19
Speaker 3: though it's a little bit of a different casting process,
25:22
Speaker 3: I was used to a version of that process. You
25:26
Speaker 3: walk in there and sure, it's really intimidating. There's four
25:28
Speaker 3: people at a table lined up in front of you,
25:31
Speaker 3: and yeah, another four to six people behind them there,
25:35
Speaker 3: and they're all watching you, and there's a big camera
25:37
Speaker 3: filming you, and you're just like, oh gosh. But I
25:40
Speaker 3: just kind of went in and did my thing. And
25:44
Speaker 3: you know, the advice I got from agents and other
25:46
Speaker 3: friends and people who've done the casting before is that
25:49
Speaker 3: they're looking for your personality. This is the only situation
25:53
Speaker 3: in modeling if you've been in fashion where they don't
25:57
Speaker 3: really they're not here for the blue steel catwalk. They
25:59
Speaker 3: don't care about how fast you walk, how edgy you look.
26:02
Speaker 3: It's not about that for them. It's about they want
26:06
Speaker 3: to feel like they know you.
26:08
Speaker 1: Wow.
26:08
Speaker 3: And I walked in and I was obviously really nervous,
26:11
Speaker 3: but I was kind of in this place of like,
26:12
Speaker 3: I gotta go. And they were asking me some questions
26:16
Speaker 3: like where are you from? And I was just laughing,
26:18
Speaker 3: and then I think I said the F word at
26:20
Speaker 3: one point and then I was like, oh no, I
26:23
Speaker 3: just said the F word and said that out loud.
26:26
Speaker 3: And I just feel like, because I was myself in
26:30
Speaker 3: that moment, which was an accident, it was what made
26:34
Speaker 3: them maybe remember me and stick out in their minds.
26:36
Speaker 3: So I booked it on my first try, probably because
26:39
Speaker 3: I was just acting like a complete idiot.
26:44
Speaker 1: So I've heard you say that you kind of call
26:46
Speaker 1: this like your naivete that you feel like you went
26:49
Speaker 1: in and because of that you booked this job. I'm
26:53
Speaker 1: wondering if now that you're more seasoned, you can still
26:57
Speaker 1: summon that, or do you feel like you want differently now.
27:01
Speaker 3: I definitely so happy. I think that's just maybe a
27:06
Speaker 3: part of who I am where I just feel like, oh, hello.
27:10
Speaker 2: Like here, I am happy to be here.
27:12
Speaker 3: I know, I'm just here. Really, I don't know how
27:14
Speaker 3: I got here. I just I don't know. I just
27:17
Speaker 3: feel like I still haven't lost that, and I it's
27:20
Speaker 3: beautiful modeling. As I said before, it's so much about
27:24
Speaker 3: luck and timing, so you can't be in control. It's
27:29
Speaker 3: so out of my control, it's crazy. So what else
27:33
Speaker 3: can you do except for just be like so cool,
27:35
Speaker 3: I'm in the room. I made it this far, and
27:39
Speaker 3: then everything after that, I was like, well, whatever, how
27:42
Speaker 3: much Delulu is involved one of the most of it's
27:45
Speaker 3: delusion all. I mean, I am delusional, I think too.
27:49
Speaker 3: I just like in terms of my career, not in
27:52
Speaker 3: everything I do. I'm obviously I like having a plan
27:55
Speaker 3: and I think about things. I'm I know, I'm a
27:57
Speaker 3: smart person, but I just like sometimes she just kept
28:00
Speaker 3: to like throw it all out the window and let
28:02
Speaker 3: it go and just be a delusional for the day.
28:05
Speaker 1: I think you have to to achieve anything great, you
28:08
Speaker 1: have to believe you can.
28:09
Speaker 2: It's part of it. Yep, Okay, this is not on
28:13
Speaker 2: my cards. But I am very curious.
28:15
Speaker 1: You're a Victoria's Secret Fashion Model.
28:19
Speaker 2: What's dating?
28:20
Speaker 3: Like?
28:21
Speaker 1: Like every man wants to date a Victoria's Secret Fashion Model.
28:24
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I never really dated. I had
28:28
Speaker 3: one boyfriend from eighteen to twenty three. Oh wow, and
28:32
Speaker 3: then I met my husband not shortly after. I think
28:37
Speaker 3: I'm a what's the word a? I guess mysterial monogamist?
28:42
Speaker 3: Is that like a thing?
28:43
Speaker 2: I am?
28:43
Speaker 3: Someon I'm trying to say so. I just kind of
28:46
Speaker 3: feel uncomfortable with people that I don't know very well.
28:50
Speaker 3: And I feel like I've always been like that. I
28:52
Speaker 3: don't have that many friends. I loved my four five
28:55
Speaker 3: friends in school. They're amazing and they were my friends,
28:58
Speaker 3: and I was like, I like you, so I'll talk
29:01
Speaker 3: to you. And I just feel like, you know, again,
29:05
Speaker 3: maybe I was just kind of naive and like delusional
29:07
Speaker 3: and I didn't really pay attention to that because I
29:10
Speaker 3: had a boyfriend, so I was like, well, I'm with
29:11
Speaker 3: this person, so I'm just gonna I'm wak with you.
29:14
Speaker 1: So like nothing ever felt tempting to you, Like it
29:16
Speaker 1: was never like cause I'm sure not to be weird,
29:19
Speaker 1: but I feel like there were like probably famous people
29:22
Speaker 1: in your dms, like you know, like it never felt tempting.
29:26
Speaker 3: No, because I'm like, it's still a stranger in like
29:29
Speaker 3: stranger danger. I always get nervous meeting new people for
29:33
Speaker 3: the first time, and you know, especially men, because I
29:37
Speaker 3: feel like I never really had a lot of interaction
29:41
Speaker 3: or experience in school, and I always felt a little
29:45
Speaker 3: shy or closed off or you know, if I fell
29:50
Speaker 3: in love with someone, then that just became my whole
29:53
Speaker 3: world and my person. Maybe it's there's probably a lot
29:57
Speaker 3: of prose to it and maybe a lot of cons
29:59
Speaker 3: to it, but worked, I'm fine. I like where I'm at.
30:02
Speaker 2: I guess I liked that you were always true to yourself.
30:05
Speaker 3: Yeah.
30:06
Speaker 1: Was it hard to deal with the male attention from
30:08
Speaker 1: that time sometimes?
30:10
Speaker 3: But I didn't really feel it that much because I
30:13
Speaker 3: think a lot of surprisingly, a lot of my following
30:16
Speaker 3: and you know, people like fan base, I guess were
30:21
Speaker 3: young girls and young women. That's cool, and that was
30:24
Speaker 3: really cool, and that felt really good that they liked
30:28
Speaker 3: me and wanted to watch me and follow me, and
30:32
Speaker 3: that felt really exciting to me. So when there was
30:36
Speaker 3: like an odd, odd ball, you know, male kind of gaze,
30:41
Speaker 3: I would just kind of like dodge left.
30:44
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, and you knew how to dodge it.
30:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe not really to the best of my ability,
30:49
Speaker 3: but I was kind of like, okay, Okay. Bye.
30:53
Speaker 1: So I interviewed Victoria's Secret Model a few years ago,
30:57
Speaker 1: and she said to me that she thought that when
31:01
Speaker 1: she got cast for the VS Fashion Show that she
31:04
Speaker 1: would never feel ugly again in her life. And she
31:08
Speaker 1: said from that day forward, she never felt more insecure.
31:11
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I know that was not your experience. I'm
31:14
Speaker 1: curious what it was like being in that.
31:18
Speaker 2: Group of women.
31:19
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's a lot of insecurity, are there is?
31:24
Speaker 3: I mean, for me, I loved it. Some of my
31:28
Speaker 3: closest friends still to this day are the women that
31:31
Speaker 3: I worked with in Victoria's Secret. Yeah, and I feel
31:36
Speaker 3: like my experience was completely different. I think maybe a
31:40
Speaker 3: lot of it had to do with the timing of
31:43
Speaker 3: how old I was and the timing in which I
31:45
Speaker 3: was stepping into Victoria's Secret, because I came in twenty
31:49
Speaker 3: fourteen and I was eighteen, and a lot of the
31:53
Speaker 3: women who were there were either in their late twenties
31:56
Speaker 3: and early thirties or mid twenties. So I was definitely
32:00
Speaker 3: the youngest one there. And I think I was probably
32:02
Speaker 3: the most annoying one there because I was so excited
32:07
Speaker 3: that I was there. I was like, Oh my god,
32:10
Speaker 3: it's you, it's you, it's you. Oh. I love all
32:12
Speaker 3: of you. And I think because I kind of came
32:15
Speaker 3: in with this energy of just like this little kid,
32:19
Speaker 3: I felt like I was everybody's little sister, and they
32:23
Speaker 3: made me feel like that. They made me feel like
32:27
Speaker 3: they would watch out for me, take care of me
32:29
Speaker 3: make sure I was okay and check in and be
32:33
Speaker 3: like you're good over there, and I'd be like, oh,
32:35
Speaker 3: I'm doing great. So I feel like everybody's experience is
32:39
Speaker 3: different and completely valid. But that was my personal amasis
32:43
Speaker 3: and how I went into it. I felt like these
32:47
Speaker 3: are amazing women. I was just in awe of them
32:50
Speaker 3: every single day and on every single set. Instead of
32:53
Speaker 3: maybe if I had gone in and felt like I
32:58
Speaker 3: was being compared to them or compared myself, things would
33:01
Speaker 3: have taken a much different road. I think because I
33:04
Speaker 3: was genuinely so in awe with them. I felt motivated
33:10
Speaker 3: by them, inspired by them, and they were I felt
33:13
Speaker 3: like they were teaching me a lot of things and
33:15
Speaker 3: showing me kind of the ropes and being like my
33:20
Speaker 3: big sisters kind of in a way.
33:22
Speaker 1: Well, I know you always look to Giselle, and you
33:25
Speaker 1: joined your agency IMG because of her, right because of her?
33:28
Speaker 2: Did you get to meet her during the VS?
33:30
Speaker 3: She was out of the she was already moved on
33:35
Speaker 3: and upwards by the time I came in there, so
33:38
Speaker 3: she wasn't a part of the choice secret anymore. But
33:40
Speaker 3: I did meet her once at a party and she
33:44
Speaker 3: was really nice and I was like, Oh, I read
33:46
Speaker 3: your book.
33:47
Speaker 2: Why do you love her? Like, out of all the models,
33:49
Speaker 2: what was it about her?
33:51
Speaker 3: I just think because she has something about her. She
33:55
Speaker 3: has this drive. I read her book, I've you know,
33:59
Speaker 3: I know her st I think that she's incredible. She
34:04
Speaker 3: works so hard, and she came from nowhere and a
34:09
Speaker 3: small town and worked her way up, was walking a
34:12
Speaker 3: hundred shows a season, and she was just it's incredible
34:17
Speaker 3: to see her her career trajectory, how where she went
34:23
Speaker 3: and where she is now, and she still has so
34:26
Speaker 3: much more to do and so much more career ahead
34:29
Speaker 3: of her. I think I really respect her, especially as
34:32
Speaker 3: a businesswoman. As a person, you never hear anything bad
34:35
Speaker 3: about her. She's fun to work with. She apparently loves
34:38
Speaker 3: dancing as an crazy person. No, like she's gonna be
34:42
Speaker 3: like this girl and it was way too much about me.
34:45
Speaker 2: I think it means you're a student.
34:46
Speaker 3: I just love like, I love that about her. I
34:49
Speaker 3: love hearing that she's a pleasure on set to work with.
34:52
Speaker 3: She's fun, she dances, and she's just having the best time.
34:56
Speaker 3: I think that's such an incredible reputation to have, and yeah,
35:00
Speaker 3: hopefully someday collect similar ones.
35:03
Speaker 1: Okay, So the Jay Shaddy interview that you did, Yeah,
35:07
Speaker 1: you said the grass is always greener, the tall, thin
35:11
Speaker 1: girls strive to be something else, and vice versa. What
35:14
Speaker 1: did VS teach you about self image?
35:17
Speaker 3: It's a loaded question. It did teach me a lot,
35:21
Speaker 3: but I think I also learned a lot on my own.
35:24
Speaker 3: I just sort of outside of that. I think for me,
35:30
Speaker 3: I loved doing Victoria's Secret. I loved being a part
35:33
Speaker 3: of it. I had a really great time, and for me,
35:35
Speaker 3: it was a really positive experience, and I think it
35:39
Speaker 3: taught me a lot about confidence and feeling beautiful. And
35:45
Speaker 3: I loved my picture being taken like that. I loved
35:48
Speaker 3: feeling like that, the hair blowing, the beautiful hair and makeup.
35:52
Speaker 3: It was my best of friends, like doing my hair
35:55
Speaker 3: and makeup on those days. So you felt or I
35:57
Speaker 3: felt like the best possible version of myself, and I
36:03
Speaker 3: loved it. I loved the glamour. I loved the Maybe
36:06
Speaker 3: i'm I have rose colored glasses, but to me, it
36:09
Speaker 3: was really just so sparkly this memory I have and
36:13
Speaker 3: I look back on those types with a lot of joy.
36:15
Speaker 3: But I also think that for me, because I grew
36:19
Speaker 3: up in the industry, and I grew up in fashion.
36:22
Speaker 3: My self image and self worth was something that I
36:26
Speaker 3: taught myself and practiced with myself because I don't think
36:30
Speaker 3: you should let your job or what you do for
36:32
Speaker 3: a living teach that to you. I think you should
36:35
Speaker 3: always keep that outside of what you're doing. And I
36:38
Speaker 3: always love keeping those two things separate. This is my
36:41
Speaker 3: personal self, this is who I am, These are my boundaries,
36:44
Speaker 3: This is how I think about myself and the respect
36:49
Speaker 3: I want to have for me other people to have
36:53
Speaker 3: for me in my personal life and in my career.
36:56
Speaker 3: But I would never let my business or my job
37:00
Speaker 3: teach me those things.
37:02
Speaker 2: That's so well said.
37:03
Speaker 1: It was really beautiful because I think, particularly as women,
37:08
Speaker 1: we get so many messages that we let other people, yeah,
37:13
Speaker 1: tell us who we are a lot.
37:14
Speaker 3: I think I also have a lot of lot. I
37:17
Speaker 3: have to thank my parents a lot for that mentality,
37:19
Speaker 3: because they did raise me to always, you know, stand
37:24
Speaker 3: up for yourself, know you who you are, always be
37:26
Speaker 3: yourself y. You know, they kept me grounded, They kept
37:30
Speaker 3: me true to who I am and seeing that it
37:34
Speaker 3: doesn't matter what people say about you. And you know,
37:36
Speaker 3: there was definitely days where I really wanted to book
37:38
Speaker 3: a job and I didn't, and I would just cry
37:40
Speaker 3: and cry and cry to my mom and she would
37:42
Speaker 3: be like, it wasn't meant to be. There's a reason
37:45
Speaker 3: you didn't book those things. You have to believe that
37:48
Speaker 3: if this is what you want to do and you
37:50
Speaker 3: want to pursue this and this is going to be
37:52
Speaker 3: your career and you love what you're doing, that everything
37:55
Speaker 3: will come. So you didn't book that because who knows why. Really,
38:00
Speaker 3: this mentality was really instilled in me that I define
38:04
Speaker 3: who I am. I say how I look at myself,
38:07
Speaker 3: how I feel about myself, not them, not that my job,
38:12
Speaker 3: not a man, myself.
38:14
Speaker 1: So I think a lot of people say, like, beauty
38:17
Speaker 1: is power.
38:18
Speaker 2: Where does your power come from?
38:20
Speaker 3: Hopefully? My heart a very emotional person, and I can
38:27
Speaker 3: what's the word is it? EmPATH? Is that what people
38:30
Speaker 3: are like? I feel other people's emotions too, and I
38:34
Speaker 3: think that's a powerful thing. So I never really excelled
38:39
Speaker 3: in school or as traditional education, but I feel like
38:42
Speaker 3: I really excel in sort of understanding people or feeling
38:48
Speaker 3: other people's emotions and sort of being able to not
38:53
Speaker 3: like change myself, but like a just the way things
38:57
Speaker 3: go based off of what the vibe I'm getting.
39:00
Speaker 1: To say, it's true, Like I actually think it's like
39:03
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence.
39:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, like read the room.
39:07
Speaker 1: Okay, you chopped your hair into a pixie cut almost
39:10
Speaker 1: a year ago September.
39:12
Speaker 3: Yep.
39:13
Speaker 1: Tell me how this happened, because as a model, that's
39:15
Speaker 1: a really big decision.
39:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. But I also feel like it was the
39:20
Speaker 3: right time because I had had the same haircut for.
39:25
Speaker 2: Forever my whole career, and you weren't going through anything.
39:29
Speaker 3: No, No, I've only chopped my hair when I was
39:31
Speaker 3: going through some maybe I was going through something. I mean, yes,
39:35
Speaker 3: and no, I was really I've always really wanted to
39:38
Speaker 3: do it, like always, and I knew one day I would,
39:41
Speaker 3: And I think the timing of it just so happened,
39:43
Speaker 3: like it was after I lost my dog Tate, and
39:47
Speaker 3: I had just gotten married, and I think it was
39:49
Speaker 3: just a lot of things lining up for me in
39:52
Speaker 3: the universe where I was like, this is something that
39:54
Speaker 3: I've always really wanted to do. I'm ready for a
39:56
Speaker 3: fresh start. I'm ready for something to visually to find
40:00
Speaker 3: another chapter of my life. So snip, snip.
40:04
Speaker 1: So I love that you mentioned Tate because your company
40:08
Speaker 1: now is Tate and Tita.
40:09
Speaker 3: You're so cute and putting it there for me.
40:11
Speaker 2: I love it. It's such a happy bag with the dog.
40:15
Speaker 2: That's him, that's Tate.
40:16
Speaker 3: Yeah.
40:17
Speaker 1: So I actually really love your tagline that it's for
40:20
Speaker 1: your for people and pets.
40:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, what does that mean?
40:23
Speaker 3: I think for me, it means because they give so
40:27
Speaker 3: much to you that when you're taking care of them,
40:30
Speaker 3: it's really it's a it's a relationship. It's for the
40:32
Speaker 3: two of you. And being able to help people help
40:36
Speaker 3: their pets is something that I think as a company
40:38
Speaker 3: would really strive to do. And being there and support
40:42
Speaker 3: for people who have pets is I think something that
40:46
Speaker 3: I personally felt was lacking in the in the pet
40:49
Speaker 3: space and in the industry. There's not a lot of
40:51
Speaker 3: clarification on why are you buying these things? What makes
40:55
Speaker 3: these products good? Why is this better for your for
40:58
Speaker 3: your dog than this thing, or you know. I just
41:01
Speaker 3: I had to do a lot of that research on
41:03
Speaker 3: my own when I had to, and we especially when
41:06
Speaker 3: we were going through his battle with cancer, it was
41:10
Speaker 3: a lot of just oh my god, I'm overwhelmed and
41:12
Speaker 3: not really knowing what to do and having to figure
41:14
Speaker 3: it out for ourselves. So I think, you know, my
41:18
Speaker 3: mission and drive is to just make it really comprehensive
41:22
Speaker 3: for people, because you know, you're the one doing the
41:26
Speaker 3: research and taking care of them. So make stuff that's
41:30
Speaker 3: under like that people can understand, so that they know
41:33
Speaker 3: why they're taking care of their pets better.
41:36
Speaker 2: So I've never had a pet.
41:39
Speaker 1: Oh No, in my whole life in thirty three years,
41:41
Speaker 1: I've never had a pet. So I've never asked somebody this.
41:46
Speaker 1: I'm curious, what did that relationship give you? Like, why
41:51
Speaker 1: do people love their pets so much? What was it?
41:54
Speaker 3: It's something that I feel like is really difficult to articulate,
41:58
Speaker 3: but I always try my best. I think, for me,
42:02
Speaker 3: the relationship and love that you get from a pet,
42:07
Speaker 3: no matter what it is, if it's a cat, a turtle,
42:11
Speaker 3: a dog, a chicken, a snake, I don't it doesn't matter.
42:15
Speaker 3: I think that animals have such a pure love. They
42:23
Speaker 3: have such an amazing consciousness that feels almost innocent or
42:29
Speaker 3: a childlike before the world gets involved, before society gets involved,
42:35
Speaker 3: before expectation gets involved, like what we deal with as
42:38
Speaker 3: human beings. I don't think that animals have that. They
42:42
Speaker 3: don't think about what am I going to get from
42:46
Speaker 3: this or what's this relationship mean for me? I think
42:49
Speaker 3: that I think human nature is a little bit to
42:52
Speaker 3: be self centered or selfish or introspective instead of thinking
42:58
Speaker 3: of others. I think that's something that we have to
43:00
Speaker 3: strive to do every day, is to think outside of
43:02
Speaker 3: ourselves and think about others. But having a pet, or
43:06
Speaker 3: me having Tate, I felt like every single day I
43:10
Speaker 3: was thinking about someone other than myself. How is Tate
43:13
Speaker 3: doing today? What does he need? I have to wake
43:16
Speaker 3: up in the morning and make his food, take him
43:19
Speaker 3: for a walk, make sure he is enough water. I'm
43:21
Speaker 3: doing a tasts every single day to take care of
43:24
Speaker 3: something where their only goal or only thing that matters
43:31
Speaker 3: to them in their life is me and his love
43:34
Speaker 3: for me. And it's such a It really taught me
43:41
Speaker 3: unconditional love because no matter what I did, how bad
43:47
Speaker 3: of a day I had, you know, if I was
43:50
Speaker 3: in a bad mood, if I was in a great mood,
43:51
Speaker 3: if I was what I felt like, the worst mom
43:54
Speaker 3: in the world, he loved me no matter what. He
43:57
Speaker 3: looked at me the same way every single day. Oh
44:00
Speaker 3: my gosh, I love you. I'm so excited your home,
44:03
Speaker 3: and he portrayed that love to me in his own
44:05
Speaker 3: special little way. And I feel like we really did
44:08
Speaker 3: have a very special secret language that nobody else understood.
44:12
Speaker 3: Like I could look at him and say things and
44:15
Speaker 3: move a certain way. He knew exactly what I needed
44:18
Speaker 3: and what that meant. And I've never had that, not
44:21
Speaker 3: with another person, not with another animal. I feel like
44:24
Speaker 3: he was, in a really weird way, sort of a
44:26
Speaker 3: soulmate and someone that I feel like I must have
44:29
Speaker 3: known in a past life that came back to me
44:32
Speaker 3: in this current form. And I was just so connected
44:35
Speaker 3: to him. Wow. And I don't know how to explain
44:37
Speaker 3: any other way than that.
44:40
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine, because I know this company was
44:42
Speaker 1: born out of the grief of Tape passing too, and
44:45
Speaker 1: now that you're explaining it to me, it hurts.
44:49
Speaker 2: It hurts me. I can't imagine what it was like
44:51
Speaker 2: when he passed.
44:52
Speaker 3: It was very difficult. But you know, it's also something
44:55
Speaker 3: that you understand because when you have a past, you
45:00
Speaker 3: know that they're not going to be with you forever. Yeah,
45:02
Speaker 3: they're with you for a certain amount of time in life,
45:06
Speaker 3: and I do think that they're there for a reason,
45:09
Speaker 3: and they're there when you need them the most or
45:11
Speaker 3: the things that you need them the most for. And
45:14
Speaker 3: he was there for me in times when I would
45:17
Speaker 3: be probably a completely different person and my life could
45:21
Speaker 3: have gone a very different direction if it wasn't for him.
45:23
Speaker 3: I have a question you don't have to answer if
45:25
Speaker 3: you don't want to. When you say you needed Tate
45:28
Speaker 3: the most, what did you mean. I was going through
45:31
Speaker 3: a lot of things during this time in my life.
45:36
Speaker 3: Probably the biggest one that I have shared is that
45:39
Speaker 3: I had a miscarriage three years ago, and that was
45:42
Speaker 3: one of the hardest things that I ever went through,
45:45
Speaker 3: regardless of you know, probably a lot of other things
45:48
Speaker 3: that were difficult. Tate was with me for nine years,
45:51
Speaker 3: and throughout that time I was growing up. I was
45:55
Speaker 3: eighteen to twenty twenty seven when I lost so he
46:01
Speaker 3: was with me for formative years when I was going
46:03
Speaker 3: through probably the most that you go through as a
46:06
Speaker 3: young woman. So he saw all that change, all that growth,
46:10
Speaker 3: and he was just a constant and a consistent person
46:14
Speaker 3: in my life. And when I lost my pregnancy, it
46:17
Speaker 3: was a really crazy time because it was in twenty
46:21
Speaker 3: twenty one, so there was still a lot of COVID restrictions,
46:24
Speaker 3: and my husband is English and he couldn't come to
46:28
Speaker 3: the US without quarantining in a green zone for two weeks. WHOA.
46:32
Speaker 3: So we were not seeing each other consistently. It was
46:36
Speaker 3: really every couple of months. So we would be apart
46:39
Speaker 3: for two months and then he would quarantine and then
46:41
Speaker 3: we would be together, and he would stay as long
46:43
Speaker 3: as he could, but he was on a tourist visa,
46:45
Speaker 3: which is ninety days, so he didn't ever want to
46:49
Speaker 3: mess with the US government and overstay or get too
46:53
Speaker 3: close to his time in the States. So we did
46:56
Speaker 3: spend a lot of time apart together, and it was
46:58
Speaker 3: a really difficult time for us because my industry was
47:01
Speaker 3: just starting to pick back up again, so being able
47:03
Speaker 3: to take jobs when I got when I could was
47:07
Speaker 3: really important to me. So it was a time when
47:08
Speaker 3: I was prioritizing that, and it was very difficult for
47:11
Speaker 3: us to always find a way to get to each
47:14
Speaker 3: other and be together. And when I found out I
47:17
Speaker 3: was pregnant, he had just left and he had already
47:22
Speaker 3: done close to his ninety days and he had He's like,
47:26
Speaker 3: I'm going to wait in another country for two weeks
47:29
Speaker 3: before I can get to you. It just tried to
47:31
Speaker 3: come to me. So I was looking every possible way
47:34
Speaker 3: that I could to get to him, and it's very difficult.
47:36
Speaker 3: I didn't have any work there, so I was trying
47:39
Speaker 3: to get like a special visa and do all this stuff.
47:41
Speaker 3: And it took some time, and I had to wait
47:44
Speaker 3: until I had a couple of doctor's appointments before I
47:47
Speaker 3: could even get to him because my doctor was in
47:50
Speaker 3: the US, so I had to It was just it
47:53
Speaker 3: just feels so vulnerable too. It was very difficult because
47:56
Speaker 3: we couldn't physically be together, and wow, I didn't know.
48:00
Speaker 3: By the time I did manage to figure out how
48:02
Speaker 3: to get to where he was, I was at home alone.
48:06
Speaker 3: It was, you know, a couple of days before my
48:08
Speaker 3: flight to his home, and I started bleeding and I ultimately,
48:14
Speaker 3: you know, miscarried that night at like three o'clock in
48:18
Speaker 3: the morning. And I was alone. But the only one
48:23
Speaker 3: who was physically able to be there for me was Tate.
48:26
Speaker 3: And it was just he just you know, they know,
48:29
Speaker 3: and the way he just kind of laid with me
48:32
Speaker 3: and like I almost even though I was holding him,
48:36
Speaker 3: I felt like he was holding me. Yeah, And it
48:38
Speaker 3: was just like that physical contact that I felt like
48:41
Speaker 3: I was lacking so much because it was heartbreaking for
48:46
Speaker 3: both my husband and I that we couldn't be together.
48:49
Speaker 3: I knew it was really hard on him that all
48:51
Speaker 3: he wanted to do was hold me when he knew
48:54
Speaker 3: that this was happening, and he stayed up on the
48:55
Speaker 3: phone with me all night long. And I know that
48:57
Speaker 3: it was like probably one of the most difficult things
48:59
Speaker 3: he's ever facing his life. So yeah, I know that
49:02
Speaker 3: he was always really grateful for Tate for at least
49:05
Speaker 3: being able to be there for me.
49:06
Speaker 2: So thanks for sharing that.
49:09
Speaker 1: And you have a new dog named Salem, right, Okay,
49:12
Speaker 1: I love that you got a German Shepherd.
49:13
Speaker 2: Yes, you got a smart dog. He's very smart. Why
49:17
Speaker 2: did you choose a German Shepherd?
49:19
Speaker 3: So my story with Salem is really random. I was
49:23
Speaker 3: volunteering at a shelter with the rescue organization that I
49:27
Speaker 3: work with, and I wasn't going to go because Tate
49:30
Speaker 3: had just passed, Yeah, and I was feeling all sorts
49:34
Speaker 3: of things about being around puppies and dogs, and I
49:37
Speaker 3: was like, maybe I'm too vulnerable. What if I make
49:39
Speaker 3: a bad decision or something. I don't know. I was
49:43
Speaker 3: just like, ah, nervous, and I just ended up going anyway.
49:46
Speaker 3: And my dog Salem was there in the shelter, yeah,
49:49
Speaker 3: and I don't know, I was very very drawn to him.
49:52
Speaker 3: He was like six months old probably, and he was
49:55
Speaker 3: just gorgeous. He's all black. He has these huge ears
49:59
Speaker 3: and this like really long, perfect nose, and he has
50:02
Speaker 3: these really sweet eyes. It was probably. He has a
50:06
Speaker 3: really sweet, like kind of dorky face, like he makes
50:10
Speaker 3: these little like he does.
50:12
Speaker 2: I saw it in your photos.
50:14
Speaker 3: These eyes all the time. He's sweet, you know. And
50:18
Speaker 3: there was probably, you know, upwards of two hundred and
50:21
Speaker 3: fifty dogs in this shelter when I was there, and
50:25
Speaker 3: you know, I went around and I met every single one,
50:28
Speaker 3: but I kept going back and standing in front of
50:31
Speaker 3: Salem's little house, in this little house with a green
50:34
Speaker 3: lawn and a plastic pool, and I was just like
50:37
Speaker 3: standing in front of his little house and I was
50:39
Speaker 3: like staring at him always. I was like, I love him.
50:43
Speaker 3: I was there for like three days and doing some work,
50:46
Speaker 3: and the volunteering is like mostly just cleaning up poo poos,
50:50
Speaker 3: which is fine, it's fun.
50:54
Speaker 2: It's a part of it.
50:56
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, it's their dogs. It's worth
50:58
Speaker 3: it cute and they come from hard backgrounds and anything
51:03
Speaker 3: to make him feel happy and safe and clean, so
51:06
Speaker 3: or it's like giving puppies baths and like it's really cute.
51:08
Speaker 3: So it was fun and I by like the second day,
51:13
Speaker 3: i was speaking with the director of the organization. I'm like,
51:17
Speaker 3: I really love this dog. He's so cute, he's so sweet.
51:19
Speaker 3: And she was like, well, do you want to spend
51:21
Speaker 3: some alone time with him? And you know, my husband's like,
51:24
Speaker 3: don't do it, just spend alone time with him. I
51:28
Speaker 3: was like, sure, I would love to spend alone time
51:30
Speaker 3: with him. So she takes him out of his little
51:32
Speaker 3: house and like puts us in another little house and
51:34
Speaker 3: we're just kind of in there. We get to be alone.
51:36
Speaker 3: I'm telling you. As soon as I get in there
51:38
Speaker 3: with him, he just like sighs and leans on me
51:43
Speaker 3: and he just kind of like relaxes into me, and
51:46
Speaker 3: I just like I'm like hold, like holding him again.
51:50
Speaker 3: He's like this big bob. Still he's massive, but he
51:53
Speaker 3: just felt so small at that moment and he just
51:56
Speaker 3: like leaned into me and I felt really comfortable and
52:01
Speaker 3: I felt immediately connected with him.
52:03
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
52:04
Speaker 3: I don't know. I just couldn't stop thinking about him.
52:07
Speaker 3: And I spoke with the adoption agency, you know, call them,
52:11
Speaker 3: and I'm like, how's he doing? Like I just want
52:13
Speaker 3: to check in. I really loved him. They were like,
52:15
Speaker 3: he's doing really well. Do you can come say hi
52:17
Speaker 3: and consume it if you want? And yeah, I just
52:21
Speaker 3: I was like, I feel like we're not done it
52:23
Speaker 3: with each other yet.
52:24
Speaker 2: Beautiful.
52:25
Speaker 1: Okay, we haven't held up the bag yet. Hold it up.
52:31
Speaker 2: Okay.
52:31
Speaker 1: So Tate and Taylor, you went from fashion to founder.
52:35
Speaker 1: How does it feel to be a founder?
52:37
Speaker 3: It feels really good because I'm doing something that I
52:40
Speaker 3: really love, Yeah, and I have such a huge passion
52:45
Speaker 3: for and I feel like it's something that I get
52:48
Speaker 3: to put a lot of energy into that I'm doing
52:51
Speaker 3: something and building something for myself and something that I
52:55
Speaker 3: really love to do and support causes and you know,
52:58
Speaker 3: businesses that I really believe in. And it's really been
53:02
Speaker 3: the most fun ever because, you know, coming from modeling
53:06
Speaker 3: and fashion, which is such a fun and crazy different worlds,
53:09
Speaker 3: going stepping into entrepreneurship and especially in the pet space,
53:13
Speaker 3: a whole other industry and a whole other field from
53:15
Speaker 3: what I'm used to. It's been really really exciting, and
53:19
Speaker 3: I just I love being able to learn by doing.
53:21
Speaker 3: I'm definitely a doer. I have to see it. I'm
53:24
Speaker 3: a visual learner. I like seeing things and knowing where
53:27
Speaker 3: they go, knowing how it's going to look, and then
53:28
Speaker 3: kind of going and changing and building from there. So
53:32
Speaker 3: being able to do and Taylor, the way that we've
53:34
Speaker 3: done it has been really exciting and just kind of
53:37
Speaker 3: a cool new way to express myself.
53:40
Speaker 1: Have you taken any of the skill sets you've learned
53:43
Speaker 1: as a founder into modeling.
53:45
Speaker 3: I think definitely. I mean I have a huge appreciation
53:48
Speaker 3: for people. I mean I always have felt that way.
53:50
Speaker 3: I think what it takes to build a collection, do
53:54
Speaker 3: the design, create the show, produce the show, hire the models,
53:59
Speaker 3: and you know, from start to finish, sort of plan
54:03
Speaker 3: out these pictures or fashion shows that we see that
54:07
Speaker 3: maybe just seem like a little blip, but it's a
54:09
Speaker 3: lot of time and a lot of energy and a
54:11
Speaker 3: lot of work goes into it. Yeah, and they plan
54:14
Speaker 3: it for a year if not more, and all we
54:17
Speaker 3: see is just an image for you know, six months
54:20
Speaker 3: to a year. But it's something that they've poured their
54:22
Speaker 3: heart and soul into for a year. Yeah, so kind
54:25
Speaker 3: of seeing more of the nitty gritty background work of
54:29
Speaker 3: what all that looks like behind even just I used
54:34
Speaker 3: to be a fit model and they make the clothes
54:35
Speaker 3: on me, so I did see that aspect of it.
54:37
Speaker 2: But that helps.
54:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, now I'm seeing like a whole other side the
54:41
Speaker 3: I'm just like, it's amazing what people are capable of.
54:44
Speaker 2: Would you ever start your own fashion line?
54:47
Speaker 3: I don't know, never say never. Yeah, it would be
54:50
Speaker 3: fun for sure. I just I love dogs so much.
54:53
Speaker 3: I think I'm going to kind of like stick to
54:54
Speaker 3: that for a little bit.
54:55
Speaker 1: But okay, so at the beginning of our conversation talked
55:00
Speaker 1: about how you were. You called it your naivete but
55:04
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, like, unapologetically yourself. How are you
55:09
Speaker 1: unapologetically yourself?
55:11
Speaker 2: Now?
55:12
Speaker 3: I think I kind of am a little bit better
55:15
Speaker 3: at saying what I want, what I like, what I
55:17
Speaker 3: don't like, But I always try to be respectful with
55:20
Speaker 3: all of that. But I definitely think that when you're younger,
55:22
Speaker 3: you're a little bit more nervous to say, you know,
55:25
Speaker 3: oh I don't like this, or maybe we should do
55:29
Speaker 3: it this way, or correcting people if they're wrong. I
55:32
Speaker 3: always kind of got nervous to do that confrontation. Never
55:35
Speaker 3: really liked that. Now I feel like I'm a little
55:37
Speaker 3: bit better at being able to confront a problem or
55:41
Speaker 3: if I have an issue with something good for you.
55:43
Speaker 3: I don't say it in a mean way, but I
55:45
Speaker 3: do say no, thank you, yeah, thank you.
55:49
Speaker 1: Okay, some rapid fire ready best makeup tip you picked
55:53
Speaker 1: up in your years in front of the camera.
55:55
Speaker 3: The most interesting one I learned was heating a curling
56:00
Speaker 3: elash curller with a hair dryer and then curling your
56:02
Speaker 3: eyelashes with that, because it makes it really go up
56:05
Speaker 3: and stay longer, especially if you're doing fake eyelashes and
56:08
Speaker 3: curling the fake eyelashes with the glue. It kind of
56:12
Speaker 3: like remounts the glue and really gets them to like
56:15
Speaker 3: set up. I've seen people do that on me. It
56:17
Speaker 3: was really nerve wracking because I was like hot near
56:20
Speaker 3: my eye, but they touch it to their hand and
56:22
Speaker 3: like it's like yeah, breast milk. When they like heat
56:25
Speaker 3: it up and like test it and it's like warm
56:30
Speaker 3: and it like really goes up. Ooh.
56:32
Speaker 1: I've never heard that one, thank you for that one
56:35
Speaker 1: thing every every woman should try once pilates.
56:39
Speaker 3: It's so hard.
56:41
Speaker 2: Something in your life that you have and tried that
56:43
Speaker 2: you want to do.
56:44
Speaker 3: I want to jump out of a helicopter on my snowboard.
56:47
Speaker 3: I'm sorry what I think it's called hell skiing?
56:51
Speaker 2: Yes it is. You want to do that?
56:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like on my snowboard?
56:55
Speaker 2: Are you a daredevil?
56:56
Speaker 3: Not really, but that sounds really fun and cool.
57:00
Speaker 2: My Okay, what are you most looking forward to this
57:04
Speaker 2: next year?
57:05
Speaker 3: I'm most looking forward to seeing where my business goes
57:08
Speaker 3: and grows and seeing how it kind of changes and evolves,
57:11
Speaker 3: because it really does, and it moves quick and it's
57:13
Speaker 3: like a child and you're just like the next thing.
57:15
Speaker 3: You know, You're like, how did I do this? So
57:17
Speaker 3: I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.
57:19
Speaker 1: What is one Tatan Taylor product that you would point
57:22
Speaker 1: and everybody too as a starting point.
57:24
Speaker 3: I would say my favorite thing that we have on
57:26
Speaker 3: the website right now that is kind of a product
57:30
Speaker 3: that you don't really know you need but you're glad
57:31
Speaker 3: you have it is we have this paw cleaner from
57:35
Speaker 3: a brand called Dandelion, and it's really interesting because it's
57:37
Speaker 3: sort of like a hand sanitizer for their pause, And
57:40
Speaker 3: I really love it. Living in New York, walking my
57:42
Speaker 3: dog around the city before we go back into the apartment,
57:45
Speaker 3: we just do this, and so it's you don't have
57:47
Speaker 3: to rinse it or wash it off their pause. You
57:50
Speaker 3: just like literally like a hand sanitizer and if you
57:53
Speaker 3: want to take a towel and just kind of like
57:56
Speaker 3: like wipe it down from there. I think it's genius,
57:59
Speaker 3: and it's that I didn't really think of, and then
58:02
Speaker 3: as I'm using it, I'm like, oh, I didn't even
58:05
Speaker 3: know I needed this.
58:05
Speaker 2: That's a brilliant process.
58:07
Speaker 3: It's brilliant, and it's an amazing brand. She's a really
58:09
Speaker 3: cool founder.
58:10
Speaker 2: Too cool.
58:12
Speaker 1: Okay, a book that you've read, something that you think
58:14
Speaker 1: everybody should read.
58:15
Speaker 3: A book that always stands out to me that I
58:17
Speaker 3: do tell people to read is one called Many Lives,
58:20
Speaker 3: Many Masters. It's not a new book, and it's a
58:23
Speaker 3: really good book. And I think you feel that way
58:25
Speaker 3: about dogs, yes, and I feel like that about people.
58:28
Speaker 3: And I just feel like, if you've gone through grief
58:31
Speaker 3: or loss, it's a great book because it kind of
58:34
Speaker 3: talks about how you have many lives and many connections,
58:37
Speaker 3: and I do believe that when they're gone, they're not
58:40
Speaker 3: really gone. And I think it's an amazing book and
58:44
Speaker 3: someone people should read it.
58:46
Speaker 2: I am so with you.
58:48
Speaker 1: Okay, grab that deck of cards, please the question everything
58:51
Speaker 1: deck and pick a card which everyone is called to you.
58:59
Speaker 3: Okay, what's your superpower? Vulnerability?
59:04
Speaker 2: Yeah? I love that one. Okay, Taylor. The smartest decision
59:08
Speaker 2: you've ever made.
59:09
Speaker 3: Moving to New York getting a dog when I shouldn't
59:12
Speaker 3: have Yeah, because you were traveling. Yeah, I was eighteen
59:15
Speaker 3: like I was. Yeah, No, I shouldn't have gotten one,
59:19
Speaker 3: but I did, and it was the bust thing I
59:20
Speaker 3: ever did. And I moved to New York. Who does that?
59:24
Speaker 1: You do?
59:24
Speaker 3: I did? It was great.
59:25
Speaker 2: I love it.
59:31
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day.
59:34
Speaker 1: To have a good day.
59:35
Speaker 2: I'll see you next week.