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10 Terribly Bungled Crimes · Stuff You Should Know

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  Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.
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  Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to Stuff you should know
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  Speaker 1: from How Stuff Works dot Com? Stuff you should know
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  Speaker 1: is brought to you by Visa. We all have things
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  Speaker 1: we like to think about online fraud. Shouldn't do one
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  Speaker 1: of them, because with every purchase, PISA prevents to texts
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  Speaker 1: and resolves online fraud safe Secure Visa. Hi, and welcome
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  Speaker 1: to the podcast. Josh and Chuck Here Josh Clark and
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  Speaker 1: Charles Bryant, Paris, staff writers for How Stuff Works dot Com.
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  Speaker 1: What up, Chuck? What up? Josh? How's it going? It's
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  Speaker 1: going good man, t G. I f we record these
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  Speaker 1: on Friday. People might not know that. It's a great
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  Speaker 1: way to finish out our week. And I'm happy to
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  Speaker 1: be here. So Chuck here. Telling me about a video
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  Speaker 1: you saw it recently? Uh, something about a guy falling
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  Speaker 1: through the ceiling. Did you see that on YouTube? I did.
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  Speaker 1: I saw it on the YouTube. It's it's a really
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  Speaker 1: good one. It's a bungled crime. This guy was robbing
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  Speaker 1: a liquor store and he snuck in and they had
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  Speaker 1: video cameras outside that captured him going in through the
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  Speaker 1: roof and then a video capture inside this showed this
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  Speaker 1: guy falling through the ceiling. Was there a star wipe
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  Speaker 1: when they went from camera? They should have done that,
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  Speaker 1: but he fell through the ceiling, and um, you know,
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  Speaker 1: I was gathering up some cash or whatever he could find,
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  Speaker 1: and then he realized that he couldn't get out, so
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  Speaker 1: then and you know it's it's a timelap steal. It
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  Speaker 1: shows him over time, he gets a ladder and he
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  Speaker 1: puts the ladder in there, and then he can't. He's
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  Speaker 1: it's still too high to get back through. And then
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  Speaker 1: the last shot of this video is a classic. It
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  Speaker 1: shows this guy, uh, basically just sit down and smoke
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  Speaker 1: a cigarette until the cops come. That's beautiful. Yeah, Chuck
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  Speaker 1: always has the best viral videos. He's always sending stuff out,
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  Speaker 1: you know, to everybody, to everyone's delight. But you know,
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  Speaker 1: that guy sitting there with a smoking a cigarette, waiting,
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  Speaker 1: you know, resigned to his fate, waiting for the cops
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  Speaker 1: to show up, reminds me of an article I wrote
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  Speaker 1: called the ten Terribly Bungled Crimes. Right. These are great,
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  Speaker 1: they really are. I think everyone likes hearing stories, kind
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  Speaker 1: of like the Darwin Awards, except of the criminal nature.
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  Speaker 1: That's exactly right. Um, Now, you know there's plenty of great,
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  Speaker 1: great heights that were pulled off, right, like Luftons. I
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  Speaker 1: know you're a good Fellas fan, right, Yeah, and that
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  Speaker 1: was Jimmy right, the liftonsa highest which was in I
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  Speaker 1: think like five eight million bucks. Yeah, And I went
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  Speaker 1: on to uh the Department of Labor, Department of Statistics,
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  Speaker 1: one of the one of them has a website inflation calculator,
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  Speaker 1: and I calculated it. There was still there was twenty
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  Speaker 1: million dollars in two thousand eight dollars, which is nothing
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  Speaker 1: compared to what some guys did in two thousand and six.
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  Speaker 1: And Great Britain. I think they made off with ninety
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  Speaker 1: two million dollars. And I don't think all of them
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  Speaker 1: were caught either. That's that's a quite a heist. So
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  Speaker 1: these are like at the high end of the spectrum.
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  Speaker 1: They're in like the ultra violet range down in the
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  Speaker 1: We'll say, yellows, right, are are the ones in this
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  Speaker 1: article ten terribly bungled crimes? Less? These folks, Yeah, they're
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  Speaker 1: just trying to to commit a crime and like everyone else,
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  Speaker 1: and it's just not working exactly and what what do
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  Speaker 1: you suspect is the reason why people engage in in
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  Speaker 1: these horribly bungled crimes. My my personal theories that unless
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  Speaker 1: you're a career criminal, unless you're one of those guys
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  Speaker 1: who pulls off a luftanza heist or in ninety two
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  Speaker 1: million dollar take or whatever, um, you're you're basically just lazy,
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  Speaker 1: which is why you're a criminal. I think most criminal
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  Speaker 1: acts are basically in a statement of laziness, trying to
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  Speaker 1: get something for nothing. So I mean like if if
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  Speaker 1: you're if you're just a burglar or whatever, and you're
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  Speaker 1: so so burglar hasn't been caught, you're generally lazy. If
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  Speaker 1: you are a bungling burglar, then you're the laziest of
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  Speaker 1: the laziest. You're incompetent, right, you're so lazy you don't
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  Speaker 1: even commit crimes regularly. Exactly. Well, I think we should
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  Speaker 1: dive right in and talk about some of these incompetent people. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: we'll talk about Chuck, what's your favorite out of these
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  Speaker 1: ten buggle crimes? And before warned, we don't have time
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  Speaker 1: to go over all ten, but you can read it
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  Speaker 1: on how stuff works dot com. Well, my favorite. Actually,
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  Speaker 1: I'll I'll give you my second favorite. We my my
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  Speaker 1: second favorite is this uh Atlanta, I'm sorry, not Atlanta,
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  Speaker 1: but Rochelle, Georgia. Woman, man, you took mine. Yeah, this
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  Speaker 1: is a good one. She bought some crack cocaine, which
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  Speaker 1: is a drug that people smoke to feel better about
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  Speaker 1: themselves and their surroundings. Right, and so she stole this
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  Speaker 1: crack and got home lit up, and I think she
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  Speaker 1: found out that it wasn't cracked. She thought it wasn't cracked,
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  Speaker 1: right because there was nothing happening. So, uh, the smart lady.
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  Speaker 1: We're not gonna say her name, you know, I don't
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  Speaker 1: think we can't. Well, it's in the article. Uh she called.
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  Speaker 1: She called the cops to come over to her house
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  Speaker 1: and help her get her money back for her drug purchase. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: and the police showed up and they said thanks, thanks
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  Speaker 1: for the easy caller. Right. Yeah, so that was that
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  Speaker 1: was my second favorite. I like that one too. That
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  Speaker 1: one's all right. I'll go with my second favorite then,
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  Speaker 1: because actually that was my first choke. Um. My my
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  Speaker 1: second favorite was the guy in Miami who was driving
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  Speaker 1: through an unnamed uh fast food chain. This is my
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  Speaker 1: favorite one. Awesome I got you back. Yes, okay. So, um,
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  Speaker 1: this guy is driving through it seems late at night.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know if he was on anything or drunk,
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  Speaker 1: or just maybe in a really bad mood. Um, he
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  Speaker 1: ordered some food. It came to like seven dollars and
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  Speaker 1: forty one cents or something like that. And when the
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  Speaker 1: person told him through the little box that that's how
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  Speaker 1: much it costs, he clearly told them that he was
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  Speaker 1: not going to pay more than dollars seventy five number one.
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  Speaker 1: Apparently that's all he thought it was worth. Number two. Coincidentally,
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  Speaker 1: that's all he had on him. So I love that
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  Speaker 1: this guy just thought that's all it's worth. You should
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  Speaker 1: only break even here on this transacting. I'm not even
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  Speaker 1: sure if that's breaking even with the you know, food
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  Speaker 1: costs these days. I think it would have been very
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  Speaker 1: much tilted in his favor. Don't kid yourself. I bet
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  Speaker 1: a number six is really worth about seventy five cents. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you're you're probably right, Sorry, Chuck com I get naive sometimes.
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  Speaker 1: So the back to the story. The guy, uh, the
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  Speaker 1: guy who decides that, um, he's not gonna pay more
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  Speaker 1: than dollars five. He tells him that they tell him no,
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  Speaker 1: you know, sorry, Bob. You know. They go back to
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  Speaker 1: putting the burger or whatever under the heat lamp, and
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  Speaker 1: he drives off, but he doesn't drive very far. He
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  Speaker 1: drives into a parking space. This is where he gets
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  Speaker 1: good and he um. He runs up to the drive
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  Speaker 1: through window on foot and brandishes a weapon when they
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  Speaker 1: come to the window, and he tells them that he
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  Speaker 1: wants their money. And apparently these were the baddest fast
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  Speaker 1: food employees around because they turn them down again, and
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  Speaker 1: in retaliation, just to save some face, the guy grabs
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  Speaker 1: a handful of catchup packets and runs off peels off
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  Speaker 1: into the Miami night. Uh yeah, so that one was
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  Speaker 1: That was my second favorite, tied tied with the woman
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  Speaker 1: from Rochelle, Georgia who wanted the police to get her
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  Speaker 1: money back for the crack. Right, that's a good one.
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  Speaker 1: And you know, since you stole my favorite, I guess
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  Speaker 1: I'll just I'll pick out another one here. Um the
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  Speaker 1: guy in Phoenix, Arizona on the on the police chase. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: Oh he's good. I can understand his pain. Actually, he
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  Speaker 1: robbed a bank and a lot of bank robbers in here,
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  Speaker 1: and not very skilled bank robbers, and he was on
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  Speaker 1: a in a high pursuit, high speed pursuit by the cops,
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  Speaker 1: and uh decided to make a little detour and get
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  Speaker 1: a pack of smokes. So he whips it in a
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  Speaker 1: convenience store, goes in and actually tries to pay for him,
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  Speaker 1: which is kind of cool. He robbed a bank, but
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  Speaker 1: he won't robb the community stord. He tried to give
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  Speaker 1: him a twenty, like, here's twenty, just give me the
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  Speaker 1: package cigarette, and the guy gave him the pack of smokes.
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  Speaker 1: He went and jumped back in his car, and the
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  Speaker 1: chase resumed as if it was in the Yeah, the
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  Speaker 1: clerk apparently said he saw the guy drive off, and
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  Speaker 1: like thirty seconds later, this horde of police just driving past,
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  Speaker 1: and he figured out what was going on. Tell him
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  Speaker 1: the absolute worst part of that story, chuck cigarettes to kill. No,
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  Speaker 1: even worse than that. When they pulled the guy, or
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  Speaker 1: when they finally caught the guy, the pack of cigarettes
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  Speaker 1: was unopened. Hadn't even had a chance to smoke one
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  Speaker 1: of the cigarettes, and chances are you would have been
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  Speaker 1: caught anyway. But this, but at the very least he
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  Speaker 1: could have had a last cigarette exactly because you know,
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  Speaker 1: contrary to what they teach you on OZ, you can't
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  Speaker 1: smoke in prison. I thought they were, Uh, no, you're
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  Speaker 1: you're not supposed to smoke cigarettes and presents against the rules. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: so um, you know, Chuck. There were a couple that
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  Speaker 1: didn't make it in here. They bordered on the line
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  Speaker 1: of urban legend um that I wanted to share that
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  Speaker 1: I couldn't get really good source, uh, sources to site
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  Speaker 1: to back back these stories up, which you kind of
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  Speaker 1: need when you're when you're writing about these outlandish crimes. Uh.
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  Speaker 1: For one, the best source I could get was a
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  Speaker 1: it looked like some sort of monthly newsletter of a
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  Speaker 1: sheriff's department in Missouri or something. And I couldn't find
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  Speaker 1: any other verification for it. But I had heard it elsewhere.
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  Speaker 1: Um that a guy in Michigan supposedly goes into a
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  Speaker 1: convenience store robber right, um, and he is really drunk.
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  Speaker 1: He tells them that he wants all of their money
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  Speaker 1: and they say no, he didn't have a weapon, he
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  Speaker 1: didn't have a note even. He was just this loud,
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  Speaker 1: bullurgerent guy. And he told the I think a parent
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  Speaker 1: clerks that he was going to call the cops if
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  Speaker 1: they didn't give him the money. So he calls the cops,
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  Speaker 1: and the cops show up and arrest him on the spot.
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  Speaker 1: But backfired, Yeah, backfired terribly. And I think this guy
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  Speaker 1: was too drunk to even resign himself to his fate.
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  Speaker 1: And you know, sit down and smoke a cigarette. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you know, guy's like that should get a break. I agree.
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  Speaker 1: I agree at the very least, not a baton to
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  Speaker 1: the head. But you should read all about this stuff.
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  Speaker 1: We haven't even correct the service what we talked about
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  Speaker 1: like three maybe at least seven more for you to
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: go read and ten terribly bungled crimes on how stuff
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  Speaker 1: works dot com and stick around to find out what
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Star Wars character poses as a dr pepper bottle on
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  Speaker 1: safe secure visa? So, Chuck, do you know the answer? Answer?
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  Speaker 1: I do not know. Well, I can tell you it's
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  Speaker 1: ably played by one Mr Billy Dee Williams. Yes, um,
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  Speaker 1: now it's Lando. Dr Pepper is the character's name. There's
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  Speaker 1: little known video. Um, and you can find that video
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