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49: Monday Moment: Follow the Envy · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:00
  Tania: Happy Monday.
• 0:01
  Tania: This morning as I was scrolling social media, I noticed something interesting.
• 0:06
  Tania: A few times, I caught myself feeling envious, not of the people on luxury vacation or those with seemingly perfect beach bodies or anything like that.
• 0:17
  Tania: It was something else.
• 0:19
  Tania: I actually found myself envious of people who seemed completely comfortable being themselves.
• 0:25
  Tania: I'm talking about the people creating ridiculous videos.
• 0:28
  Tania: You know the ones where they're dancing all over the place or they're lip-syncing to songs, or even people who were clearly talking off the cuff judging by all the um's and ah's and rambly thoughts they were having.
• 0:43
  Tania: Basically, I was envious of the people doing things that would probably terrify me because of the possibility of judgment.
• 0:50
  Tania: And at first, I was tempted to judge myself for feeling envious.
• 0:56
  Tania: Envy is one of those emotions that I thought grateful people really shouldn't feel.
• 1:02
  Tania: But as I sat with it, it occurred to me that maybe envy isn't something to be ashamed of.
• 1:08
  Tania: Maybe it's simply information, information that can actually be pointing us towards something we want.
• 1:16
  Tania: And in this case, as I thought about those people dancing and singing for all the world to see, I realized that what I was truly envious of was a quality they seemed to possess, and that quality was freedom.
• 1:31
  Tania: Freedom to be seen, freedom to be silly, to be ridiculous, freedom to show up however they felt inspired to without apparently worrying about what everyone else might think.
• 1:44
  Tania: And that got me thinking, what if instead of judging ourselves when envy appears, we got curious?
• 1:51
  Tania: What if we asked,"What am I actually longing for here?" And then envy becomes something to listen to rather than avoid.
• 2:00
  Tania: And perhaps we can even thank it for showing us something we want more of in our lives, whether that be more confidence, more connection, more creativity, more adventure, more freedom.
• 2:14
  Tania: And to push the envelope a little further, not only do I want to cozy up next to envy to have it tell me the whispering desires of my soul, but the next time it shows up, I want to try something different.
• 2:29
  Tania: I want to silently bless the person who triggered it.
• 2:33
  Tania: May God bless them in their abundance, and may their example be a reminder to me that what I see in them is possible for me too.
• 2:44
  Tania: In effect, a double blessing.
• 2:47
  Tania: And it also takes the focus off the person, and it changes the conversation.
• 2:52
  Tania: Instead of, why do they get to have that, the question becomes, what is this showing me about what I want?
• 3:02
  Tania: Essentially making envy a signpost for what your heart may be longing for.
• 3:08
  Tania: So the next time envy shows up, instead of pushing it away, try following it.
• 3:14
  Tania: It might be telling you something important.
• 3:17
  Tania: Okay, have a great one.