Latest / Stuck No More Voices / Elana van Deventer: Guiding Faith Driven Women to Business Transformation Part 1

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Elana van Deventer: Guiding Faith Driven Women to Business Transformation Part 1 · Stuck No More Voices

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, I'm so glad you could join us.
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: It is Unleashing Kingdom Voices.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by Millionaire Momentum three keys to momentum save money, grow yourself and build wealth and impact.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: There's a three minute video.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'd love to you to see it's in the show notes of this episode.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: So I'll tell you this is gonna be a fun one.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Who knows what's gonna happen?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: My guest is a neuropsychophacilitator under Dr Caroline Leif.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: She's an amazing author, she is a business coach you may not be on Instagram and she is a speaker.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: So you please help.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: And I gotta say one other thing she's really good at.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: She's a good launderer, cause I had a real bad tomato sauce on this shirt.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: She got it out.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: So you please help me.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Welcome my dear friend Alana Vendaventer.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: I managed to get a state out of your shirt, because I'm still struggling to get a state out of my shirt.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Well, where is it?
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know you can see it yeah.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: You're like are you sure, t?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like it's a miracle.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've worn it since I had it with you either.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: It's like, look at that, that's a miracle.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: It's my favorite shirt too, by the way.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Alana, so glad to have you here.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: My goodness, it's been a while to get you on here, but I think it's worth the wait.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: So y'all you know Dr Caroline Leis.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Well, alana's got amazing success with the neuropsychophacilitator.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: But I think, alana, we gotta go to the story.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: The story tells the journey and I think you know when you tell your story, I think it gives hope to so many.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: So this is what I always say, alana I say, go back to your childhood.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: What did you like to do when you played?
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: And then I'm like well, some people have problems.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: You had a brain injury and now here you are a brain surgeon.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, not really, yeah.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: So take us back a little and I may interrupt you because I'm so excited to hear this story, but I wanna hear some more.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Isn't that how amazing God is, those areas that we once felt disqualified, and that he goes in those landmines and he restore and he makes it landmarks.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: So it's like you said I had a childhood brain injury.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I had to learn to walk and talk at a young age again and that just stuck with me.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: That really just became my limit in what I'm supposed to, or not just supposed to what I'm allowed to.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: I think that's a better description of the limit that I placed on myself.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: What am I allowed to do?
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: What am I allowed to dream and want for my own life?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: And so that really that happened at a young age and I was labeled stupid and school, and I remember, and it's just again, god, he just placed my mind.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: The fact that I'm able to speak in front of people is just how he's able to renew what was not lost, but because that's a worldly view.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: But he's able to renew and to rewire and restore and revive.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: More than anything else, he's able to revive from the inside out the fact that I'm able to speak in front of people way before I.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: In English.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: She's just like in language.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: English is my name English.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: She can speak in front of crowds, in front of you as a speaker, and then wonder why did that just still?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I just fascinated by that.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I think the very first time I met you, jessica Short was doing this.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Yes, lord, collective, and this is how God just connects people.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: And that was January, probably about a year ago, and they had all these speakers and Alana came on and instantly she captured my heart.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: So it wasn't till like I was just followed her.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: You know how we do on Instagram and then I won a contest and I got to have one hour one to one.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: It was like after she was over, it's like whatever you have, give it to me, so she goes.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: You know she's in Canada.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: She does have been person, but look, what does God do, man, that's so cool.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: So now you had a teacher that really slammed you in.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Fifth was a fifth grade.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Tell us about it was in.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Now I go back into.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you also had standards prior to grades.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Did you have that?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I don't remember, it's too long ago.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: So, from South Africa, born the race South African, immigrated to Canada over six years ago.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: We had back in the days we used to I don't know anyone else that remember the days we were with standard one, standard two.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: So, I always have to think of like.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I almost have to like do that whole thing in my, in my mind, but it was great and I remember I was struggling and that's what I absolutely despise labeling because labeling is disabling, removes hope.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: And I remember I was struggling with math and and he labeled me as stupid and I will never, anywhere in life.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: And that was it, and I took it on as.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: And it's not even.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I have no resentment towards him or feel that he.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: He was just basically affirming what I already believed about myself.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Here Again, after our life hits in the direction of our most dominant thoughts and we will always receive evidence of what we believe as truth.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: So he was just giving me evidence of what I already believed about myself.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, my, excuse me, but please take out a notebook, or if you're listening to the podcast, you might have to stop.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Every time she talks I'm like where's my computer?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I record, or so I can record, so I can get a nice sound.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: So so you, you always say evidence of what you believe.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, determines your thought.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: We will always receive evidence of what we believe as truth.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Our life hits in the direction of our most dominant thoughts.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Wow, my most dominant thoughts was after 40 years, I was able to rewire and renew my mind, and but it was.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I'm not enough.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not capable.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: And this one hit hard.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I'm not deserving.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Oh geez, and so that I had evidence of 40 years of my life.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Wow, you tried, you were very earnest to try and create things and do things, but it wasn't till the.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: The neuropsych program is kind of like, kind of like fee, like a glove, but before you had that glove you had some.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Really what happened?
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: You were in South Africa still and you just got like a modeling signed up, and then what happened?
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, so there's a, there's a gap between, like I grew up, I didn't go and study.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: There wasn't one of, I was not capable, so I'm not even going to apply for anything.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Financially we also couldn't afford it, so I didn't go study.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I had a eating disorder.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: I ended up.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: I was always, I remember, growing up.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: I just want to backtrack a little bit.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Something else that we can do for each other as well.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: That's very honoring.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: We always based a real focus regarding external, and so when we come in someone, it would be oh you look beautiful tea, look at you.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: And what happens is I don't, we can't be serious.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: There's always freedom and joy, so good for brains, joyful noise, yes, but what?
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: What happens is?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I grew up and I remember we were introduced as we.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: I'm one of three sister, three girls, my.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: We were introduced as the clever one.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: That was my oldest sister and I was the pretty one, and then my youngest sister.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: She was just the crazy one and she was always speak her mouth, speak of mind.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Sorry, no, I understand, yes.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: And so we were introduced like that and for me my identity was shaped by an external validation.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: So I was always searching for that compliment, because if I had it, then I felt enough If I didn't, I went back to that belief that I'm not enough.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: And so I was always striving, always searching and always feeling lost and this disconnect.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: And so, at the end of the day, striving very hard, working my way in, I got signed as a model and I thought, wow, this is my purpose, this is what I was made for as I'm.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: That's now I've arrived.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: Yes, I've arrived, yes, and I did not.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I've never felt so lost when I did at this time.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Now, what happened after that I got there was beautiful events that you got invited to, yeah, constant striving and asking to be seen and validated.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: And, oh man, you, you look.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: So look at these photos.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: You look stunning, you look beautiful, again, based on the external Right.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: So what happened is, when we immigrated from South Africa to Canada, that was all gone, oh, wow.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, I was in the small town, which I still question why people would stay there, because it's one in the middle of the way back and thunder, it's extremely cold.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: We arrive in winter minus 50.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Wow, I've never realized that vitamin D is so necessary in one's life.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: What I did when I lived there.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: And so we arrived and everything that I felt was what I was made for and my identity was stripped away and to the extent where I felt like I've got nothing left unseen, unheard, unloved and forgotten.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: And freezing to death.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I've traveled one week with the college where you had to plug your cars in to keep them, and I like one week and I'm like I'm never.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I've never been back.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: It's just too cold Right about right around where you were.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I thought about that recently.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I can't wait to get back home.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: So, when you were doing the modeling.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Is that where some of the eating disorder happened, or was it just a continuation?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: It was actually prior.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: It was prior to that event.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I was constantly comparing myself to others, and if you have a belief that I'm not enough, then you will never come, never measure up.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: So I hit Tom Okay.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: So I was not.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I was at my skinniest and I wanted to be skinnier.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, To me I was not enough.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I ended up eating disorder.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Also, something that I realized when I done my own near cycle is that these beliefs were even showing up in my relationships.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Oh really my friendships.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Wow, I almost rejected people before they could reject me because one I was not enough.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, I was not deserving of anything.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Wow, Can I interject there?
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Because I was chubby when I was little and so I was, you know, and then I moved a lot.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: But I'll never forget my junior year in college.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I finally found some Christian friends and I remember pulling up to the dorm to go hang out with them and I'm like, they like me Even though I'm chubby, they like me.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: So they did that kind of not enough.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: It can play really heavy in relationships, good or bad.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: It will, because you will receive evidence of it.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I remember my if I think back of some of my past relationships, I was always the one being dropped.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's tough man.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: I was the one that again just receiving evidence of that.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I'm not enough.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: So he's leaving.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Wow, and it's almost like you're manifesting it in a way.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I was going to say you kind of, after you start feeling like you're not enough, you start manifesting characteristics where the person that you maybe like or love, and all of a sudden they're like whoa, something's.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: It's like an energy, like oh, there's some bad energy coming from there.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I don't usually talk about energy, but that's the first thing I thought and neither, but it is.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: It's really what it is, because that thought creates your behaviors.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: So the energy I think what you're referring to is how you behave.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, because that's influenced your environments.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Sure, if you have that thought, your thoughts create your emotions.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: So how you are feeling, which is a messenger, I know now it's, it's a valuable guide messenger to address the behind the because, why, which is your thought, but you will then your emotions.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: If you don't take your thoughts, get this, you will behave because it's from your emotions.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Emotions are in our bodies for 60 to 90 seconds and if you stay in that, you're actually choosing to stay in it.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: So behavior will show up because it's driven by emotions, and then you basically just affirming your thought.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: So it's like a cycle.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so the energy which you're referring to is we have actually mirror neurons, right when we, when we treat ourselves in a certain way, we actually teach others and show others how to treat us.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's good.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I never thought of it that way.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: So then your neurons and your stuff came to cold Canada.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: What happened there?
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: So what happened is I was.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: It was just a dying downward spiral.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Darrell was my husband, was always working.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: We obviously he was.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I was a mom's they don't mom at that stage and he was at the mine.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: He's a mining engineer and so new country he's finding his feet.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: He's also trying to figure out how things work and he worked a lot and I was alone in the house cleaning.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: All of a sudden I had to clean.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: So another thing that side Africans are not used to and what we are so, so blessed.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, we have people working in our houses, okay, people working in our gardens, and so I had someone I still love her and I speak to her as much as possible.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I had someone in the house that helped me to raise my kids and also she did all the cleaning, she did all the washing I have and she they became family partner and the misty in the house became family for us and our support system and and so I was removed from from having Someone with me in the house.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: But not just that.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: I went from feeling seen and valued and worthy and yeah that to now cleaning toilets.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a tough one.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, some people are happy just to be a mom, but it's like some people, yeah, they're blessed to be a mom, but they know there's more in them.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: So I hate if I, if I offend in you, I'm sorry I.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I, I love that you're saying that, because I accept I was exactly where someone might be Now, okay, hey what.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I realize, is because I can remember my saying to myself you are just, you are just a mom, you are just Cleaning the house, you are just.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: And that word was really over generalization on my side.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: And what happened is, when I started my own healing journey, I realized that we have this, this, this Believe that was created, that we have one purpose and if we miss it it's gone.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: No, so it's like a one.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: You have one opportunity.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: And I felt like remember before, I felt like that was my purpose.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, it might super for me, it was like my identity was lit late and in it.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: So I I want to just say this for someone that is a mom and feels like I I made for more, but I'm just a mom.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I also don't like that saying that you are my yeah, because it feeds into, but believe that I'm not enough.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I also want to say that nothing can infiltrate, impact, diminish your enoughness because of Jesus, it's done.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: It's not something that you have to strive for To, to earn, to deserve, because of Jesus.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: It's done at your inheritance that you can get to.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: You get to choose to live from daily, knowing that it's done.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: So your purpose, our purpose, is not Besides loving God and loving others.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: That's our main purpose.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: The vocational, our calling, looks different.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: So what I realized when I was just a mom, that was my purpose in that season, okay, but in that season it was my purpose Now, when I can see the value and how I was able to serve my kids, hmm, I see it now, but when I was in it, I was struggling with mental health issues and depression and I was Silenced by guilt and shame because you for me, I believe you can't love God and still struggle.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, Wow.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: And so I didn't ask for help, because that was just an indication.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Believing enough, I don't have enough faith.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Jeez, I'm not just a mom.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I remember I retired after 13 half years as a radio announcer and it was devastating.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like I'm just a mom.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: These are, but, but that, I mean, was like I knew there was more, but just a mom.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: And I remember Chiding myself saying Teresa, now being a mom is Is you need to now pay attention to your kids?
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: What did I do?
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I went off into marketing and didn't pay attention.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: But you're right, I like how you said that it is a period and I know your kids.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: They're amazing kids, so at that period they needed a mom presence.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: But it wasn't the end of your journey, it's now, and that changes, like it's.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: If you think of Purpose and calling, it's two different things.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Our purpose is to love God and love others.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Our calling is the vehicle and it's seasons, and so the how it looks like will change as well, and God knows where we need it, where we need it the most.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: And so I now, after all these years, I can see how being a mom in that season was the biggest placing and the area I could serve and where it was most needed.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's cool to be able to look back and really OK.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: So what was the drive-in?
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: You, though, you always had it, but you're stuck in a cold place that you can barely move.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: So, and you still knew you had stuff in you, but what was that like?
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know how cold and lifeless, even just living in a cold, lifeless place.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: I heard someone on a podcast say I choose to live in San Diego because I know it's sunny, so I'm going to choose.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking, well, good for you, but some of us don't get to choose like that, so you didn't have any choice.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't have any choice.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: But I know now when I look back, I knew that that is where I was supposed to be planted.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: Wow, because I had to go through a process of being removed and being.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: My roots were not where it was supposed to be.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: And so, when I always refer to it as my unearthing, what almost unearthed me if I can create this vision or visual behind it God had to unearth me and plant me back in the soil, where it felt dark.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: It was back in the soil and where it was removed from all the Was the trappings of modeling the noise and the external.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he had to literally put you in the dark, lonely place.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: You now can say that was your unearthing, but maybe someone's listening and saying I am in the darkest of place right now.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know what's up from down.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: So testimony in Hebrew means do it again.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: So continue with your journey, because it's a powerful one.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I and I see them.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: I see them because I was there and I know it is a very, very you feel.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: I think that these two things that happens there is a disconnect, that happens in isolation and it is a dark place and it feels like there's no hope.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: What also happens is we look at the psychology of the installment.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: When we look at the psychology of the installment of hope, OK, this something that happens when we suffer with mental, like maybe it's anxiety or depression For me it was depression and it was to the end where I was almost in my own life, like I was suicidal.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: And what happens when we, in this dark place, we it's.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: They've done a study on kamikaze pilots and they were wondering why were some of them, why did some of them follow through with the mission?
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: And those that didn't, what?
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: What was the difference?
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: It was one thing that stood out that happened.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Why they didn't follow through was they?
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Was an action of them lifting their heads.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Wow, moment, wow.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: That is the installment of hope.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: What happens when we suffer with mental issues and depression?
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Our heads are down.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, we are ruminating, it's over and over.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: And that's the kamikaze pilots as well.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: As they focus on their missions.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Their heads are down.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: They're focusing on the target and they have.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: They're trying to say these things over and over themselves, but those that didn't follow through lifted their heads.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Wow, and all of a sudden they realize that these are tomorrow and there is something bigger than themselves, that their lives is worth living.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's so powerful.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I can think of my times of depression and I got a man.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: My head was always down or someone would say you know, straighten up, theresa.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: You know I'm thinking.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Well, don't tell me to straighten up, you know, I'm just lost in the depression and the anxiety.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: And you know, there was a period of time where I felt like I had.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Every time I got up I felt like I had a monkey on my back and that's I mean.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: We're saying we know if you're listening live or recorded.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: We're saying we understand that feeling.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: But just that simple act, maybe, maybe your journey is going to lift your head in the morning and just, you know, go through the process of healing, but why don't you start with one thing and that's lifting your head?
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Just lifting your head and choosing.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I remember the day where I planned to take my own life, where I was sitting on the ground and there was a moment of total surrender, where I was like this is done, I'm done.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: And I remember and only now that I've been through my own healing process, I this thing stands out to me, it becomes there's some meaning that I've seen and those little moments where there was actually these hope pockets and things that happened.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Because that moment I just when I was like God, I just, if you really exist, then I need you now more than ever.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: And I know now that when that moment where I just fell back my head because there was a couch, the bed sorry, it was actually my bedroom when I fell back remember exactly the scene I was sitting on the floor and I fell back, just like I'm done, in that moment, you know, when you fall back, your head just lifts, wow, and I can't say that it was a light bulb moment and all of a sudden I was skipping out of the room and I was like life is a joy.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: I can't, it doesn't happen.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: It was a journey, yeah, and what happens when we actually allow ourselves to feel, feeling is healing.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I mean, jesus had all these.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I actually wanna look for this.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: I saw this quote during the week and I was like this is so powerful Because Jesus showed us all these emotions.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, but there's something that happened.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: I know I grew up with this belief that emotions are bad, and if you wrote positive emotions, then you were full of yourself.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: We always had to suppress and keep it in.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: And what happens is it causes emotional congestion, yeah, and that leads to minor and major illnesses because it needs to come out.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: So if we allow our emotions to guide us and become these valuable messengers which God intended it for, we can actually there's nothing that can't be healed if we use our minds the way that God intended it us.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: So when we allow ourselves to use valuable, valuable guides that's within us, able to heal from the root, so good, and we get to the because why are we feeling away and why we're behaving the way, and so we're able to renew our minds.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: But I had to decide.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I had to make a choice.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Everything is a choice.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Right, everything is a choice.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: So you were just choosing daily just to wake up.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: You were in that iceberg and all of a sudden some area code came across your mind.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Tell us about that.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: So while I was it was actually during, I must say, during COVID was when my healing started, Praise God.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: It was a.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: The isolation was also a big thing there, and I really here's what happens, and I actually just shared on social media the lights in the Lord and that was one thing that I was choosing to do.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: One thing I was looking for things that I can be grateful for.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Wow, when I say I was choosing to look for things to be grateful for, when we one of the things.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Another one is rejoice, rejoice, okay, when we rejoice despite the circumstances.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Now, when I say things didn't, it wasn't evidence, external evidence of Things, because it was still the same.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Right, I felt I was still in the same situation.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: I still stayed in the same job, still in the same house.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Darrell was still working, I was still with the kids, everything stayed the same.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: But when we rejoice, despite the circumstances, okay, I'm secretes, neuro transmitters that help us cope.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: No, if you ask me, what is something that someone can start doing now?
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm, choosing to rejoice.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: I was just being on worship music and dancing my cheeks off In the Lord.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: This circumstances, some fires.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: What I want is probably Was I was choosing and game with choice is so powerful because that's our mind.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: In action, we think we feel like choose, yeah, and I was choosing to look for things to be grateful for, and the same thing I did was I was Plugging into the vine.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: I love your, your, the vine dresser.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was plugging into the vine daily that season, in in covert, during covert, god gave me a vision.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, and the vision I still have it.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: I printed it out.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: It meant nothing to me and the moment I was just like, okay, I'll just we'll, it's just all done to this.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: This is a promise.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know, it doesn't make sense, but I know who knows what this means, and so I printed it out.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: It was a tree, ah, and the tree had the roots interesting a brain Unbelievable and I printed it out.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: I had no idea what it meant in that season.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: I was holding on to it unbelievable.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: And what happened is I eventually created the revive method because I felt like that's what happened in my life.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, this story of revival continues.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: We're gonna go on to part two coming up this Thursday.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: You don't want to miss it the drama, the testimony and the revival to find her voice.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Part two of a lot of random enter coming up Thursday on unleashing kingdom voices.