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THE ROYAL MIC BY ZACHERY WILLAMS · DA CREW Podcast

• 1:00
  Speaker 1: H m.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Hm.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Hey you guys, Hey you guys, say you guys.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Mane this sounds still going.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: I think this sounds gentlemen.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I have your attention please. The show starts in ten line.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? The
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: show starts in ten line eight, seven, six, five, four
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: three two one go.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Hey you guys. It's your boy master Zachary all his.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: One thing two man, it is the Royal Night. Man.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: I hope y'all have been doing great, because I have
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: been doing great at this moment, checking out the Vice,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: the reviving with Chilling.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I had a great weekend. I helped you too.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your royal mic man. I have a special guests.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: We went to the same school, graduate the same class.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: She is amazing.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: She is everything in the book. We're gonna bring her
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: right along. We're not gonna take her too long. We're
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: gonna bring on Tranessa right now. We speak, hold on
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: and are we We're gonna.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: There we go. How you doing it?
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: I am doing great. I cannot complain. I'm just happy
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: to be here. I'm just happy to be here.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: How you doing, girl? I am doing okay. Girl has
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: been a long, long, long day. Soul girl, thank you.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: I just want to say thank you for just making
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: free time coming on the Royal Mic. As you know,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: we we we I would say this, this is your room, assay,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: that's minds.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: We gather here.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: You know, as you know, we're gonna talk about mental health.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: We're gonna talk about life.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: We're gonna talk life.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: Life has been longer. But before we get started, tell
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: the listeners about yourself. Let's get an introduction about you girl.
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: Okay, my name is Jenessa Wingo. I go by Jenessa Guil.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: That's my first and middle name. I have no pseuitonyms,
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: no stage names, just Jenessa Gil That's me. I'm twenty
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: eight years old. I went to Landum High School. I
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: graduated in twenty fifteen. I then to Vorhees where I
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: met mer Dack and I graduated in twenty nineteen with
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: him with my master my bachelor's in accounting. I am
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: currently pursuing my master's in accounting at Straighter University. But
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: I love my HBCU. I missed for He's just love it.
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: It was it was a ball. I haven't been back
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: since I graduated, but I need to make a trip
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: to a homecoming or something. But back to me. I
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: am an accounts fable specialists for PCA. I love it.
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: It is my job is a nonprofit. It is where
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: help meets hope and we do just that. We do
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: utility assistance, we do housing assistants. I love it. I
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: love watching us help the community. I've been on the
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: receiving end, so I just I love it. I love
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: everything about my job. Currently, I have two children. They
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: are sixteen months apart. My oldest is three, my youngest
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: is two. I love it. I love motherhood. I love it.
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: It's been It's a crazy journey. Is awesome.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: It's so awesome speaking of motherhood. Like, let's let's talk
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: about motherhood. Like, like you said, you have two beautiful
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: kids right now, Like like from not having kids and
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: having kids now, like what goes through your mind?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: You know what? What makes you happy having your kids
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: around now in these days?
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: So, before I had kids, I thought I was gonna
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: be the fun auntie, the drunk untie, the rich auntie.
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: I didn't think that kids was in my books. I
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: didn't think that was in my But I did settle
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: down and we do have a family now and it's crazy.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: It's absolutely crazy. Like the whole experience of being pregnant
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: was a journey. For sure. Before I was pregnant, I
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: was ninety eight pounds for both of my pregnancies. Right
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: before I had both of my boys, I was one
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: hundred and eighty six pounds, so I and when you're pregnant,
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: you're only supposed to gain forty max and that's one
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: pound a week. But baby, listen, I spread like butta,
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: I was just it was just crazy. I was big, big,
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: super big house big, hou was really big. But then
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: once I had them, it was crazy because you know,
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: you have this thing called pregnancy brain when you're pregnant
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: and you just you know, forget everything, all this and that.
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: But once you have your child, your your brain realters
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: itself to where you bond with your child, so you
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: don't think logically, you're just thinking emotionally for like two
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: years after you have your children. Your child, my first born,
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: I breastfed for fourteen months, so that was a different. Yeah,
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: that was crazy too. Being food I do not recommend
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: it was it was really crazy. Like we were connected
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: so much, so like I knew every time he was hungry,
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: even when I wasn't around, and it didn't matter like
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: if I was getting.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Full or not.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: It was just like I could feel him like I
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: would text. I would text my fiance and be like, hey,
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: is the boys hungry or something? And he would be
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: it's like, yeah, he started crying. He's crying right now.
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: Oh he just did this, And it's like I would
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: feel it, but I'm nowhere near him, but it's just
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: like I would feel it too. It was It's crazy
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: like when mothers say like, that's my heart outside my body,
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: they really mean it, because it's just a crazy connection
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: that you really can't you can't put a finger on it.
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: You just you know you're willing and willing, ready and
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: able to take it however far it needs to go
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: for your kids.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: So I have a question for you.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Did you ever deal with depression or poor model depression
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: as female calls it.
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: Yes, So, the the depression you don't know you're in it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: It's a functional depression. You have no idea you're in it.
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: You have no idea you're going through it. One day
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: you just you realize like, wait, I'm not just a mom,
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: I'm a person too. And then when you have that
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: thought like because at first, once you have your kid,
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: your kids, everything, your kids everything, you don't you don't
• 9:47
  Speaker 5: care how you look like. You know when people be like, oh,
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: I can look a mess, but my kid look good.
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: Ant wrong.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: If you love.
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: Yourself, you'll look good too. You just like you love
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: your kid, You're gonna make sure your kid dressed up.
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: You're gonna make sure you're dressed up too. But you
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: don't know that until you realize, like, wait, I'm more
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: than a mom. Once you have that thought, then the
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: depression's over, but it takes you a while to get there.
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: I didn't have that thought until my firstborn was born
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: in March of twenty twenty two, and I didn't realize
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: that I had the postpartum depression until July twenty twenty four.
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: So I had no idea I was depressed. I was
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: just I was getting up for work, work and creating routines,
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: staying to the routines, doing the things that I was
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: supposed to do as a mother, as a person. But
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: it just was like I was doing it because that's
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: what I was supposed to do, Like I wasn't doing
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: it because I wanted to. I was just doing it
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: because it was like, Okay, I have to make money,
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: I have to take care. I gotta drop them off
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: at daycare, I gotta pick them up. It wasn't like
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: a I want to do this. Like now that I'm
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: not depressed, obviously, you know, I'm back on the scene.
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: I'm back on social media. I was off of social
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: medias for a long time. Didn't post my kids for
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: a really long time. I actually didn't start posting my
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: kids until this year, and my oldest is born two thousand.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: Somebody doing donuts to nakodasac you know, no biggie biggie.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: So like being a mom, you know you you kind
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: of have to druggle everything, you know, career, Like you said,
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: you know, dig care to pick them up, you gotta
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: feed them. You know, you gotta self care. So how
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: did you manage not to lose yourself and all of that?
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: You know, you you got to take care of yourself
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: because if you don't take care of yourself, you know
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: your kids will see it, your kids will feed off
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: of it.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: So how did you handle it?
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: Routines, you set the tone from the time you start
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: your day. We start our day with mister b good
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: morning song. That's the tone for a good positive day.
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: They know. Routines keeps everybody grounded, It keeps us moving smoothly, effortlessly,
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: and the transitions will because a lot of people don't realize,
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: like when you have a kid, you know, you have
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: a little human like people people just be like, oh,
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: I want a baby, Oh I got baby fever. Oh
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: babies are so cute, Like okay, but do you realize,
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: like you're having to You're gonna have this little thing
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: and it's not even gonna know how to use its limbs.
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: It's not gonna know how to pick its neck, up,
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: its hands, nothing. All its knows is to make how
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: to produce sound to let you know it's crying. It
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: don't even know how to let you know what it wants.
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: It don't even know what it wants, gotta pee, just peed,
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: don't know anything. They're just literally here and we have
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: to teach them everything, Like you have to teach them huddle,
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: wash your face, brush your teeth, regular, you know, regular
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: everyday activities. You have to teach them, and then you
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: have to teach them to be productive, good, well behaved
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: citizens of America, Like.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: You can't just well behaved citizen like well be here, Yeah, Like.
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: Well, you gotta make sure your kid is well behaved, productive,
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: and just very well rounded. Cause a lot of even
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: parents they don't know to teach their kids that because
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: they're not really really well rounded. No shade is teeth
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: And I'm just saying. I'm saying like I had, I had,
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: I'm in therapy now, Like you have to continue to
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: better yourself. Everything is constantly improving. Like you can't be
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: still in one section and be like, oh, I'm good here, Like,
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: especially if you're a parent, you have to constantly continue
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: to evolve and get better and better so your kids
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: can see and you can teach your kids to be better.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: So like you say something like definitely generation you know,
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: you said something about, you know, teaching your kids how
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: to you know, be real rounded, because we want out.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: You want this generation that you have now to be
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: better than for who you are. You know, everybody everybody
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: in the world want their parents. They want the kids
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: to be better than who they are as today. So
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: what advice but you can give mothers who is listening
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: or who going to listen later on? What advice can
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: you give them?
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: You have to get in therapy, whatever you believe, like,
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: you have to be well rounded. You have to be
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: in physical shape, so work out. If you don't work
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: out a working out to your schedule, you have to
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: work out like our body needs it. Like you don't
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: want your body shutting down at twenty or thirty forty,
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: like you need to work out. Make sure you're doing
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: something physical for your body. Make sure you're doing something
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: for your mental health. Make sure you're doing something for
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: your spiritual health. Make sure you're a well rounded individual.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: So you can lead by example for your kids. And
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: it's never gonna stop because yeah, they might be toddlers now,
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: but they're gonna be teenagers one day. Then they gonna
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: be young adults. So you have to set the tone.
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: Even though you know sometimes people put they're all into kids,
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: they put their kids in therapy and make sure they
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: hit all those points, and then their kids just still
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: decide like this is what I'm gonna do, and this
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: is which way I'm gonna go, and at that point
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: you know you can handle that. Then it's not a guarantee.
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: There's no handbook really on if if I put my
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: kid in therapy, if I make sure my kid's working out.
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: If I make sure my kid's doing everything, I'm gonna
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: have the perfect citizen. It's like, I'm not saying that,
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: but I am saying it will help.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: I would say a lot of people, you know, especially
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: said therapy. A lot of people now these days, a
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: lot of kids, a lot of doubts down the days,
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: are going to therapy, are getting help, are getting the tools,
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: proper tools, how to deal with the emotion, how to
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: deal with anxiety, because I know for me it took
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: a long time to go see your therapy.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Even I don't see a therapist now because I don't
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: need therapy right now.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: But the tools when whatever was in therapy, the tools
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: that we I had, it teach me how to navigate
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: like cause you know life, it's time life have the upsidowms.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: You know, life will throw you something that you are
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: not even ready for. Oh yeah, it is not even
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: ready for it.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: And so go ahead.
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: I was gonna say, even like that, when you get
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: thrown stuff that you're not ready for, everything has a proper,
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: a proper process that it has to go through. When
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: you lose somebody, you need to go through grieving therapy.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: A lot of us don't and a lot of us
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: are one attitude away from snapping on somebody and losing
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: their freedom because now you just snap on some cause
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: you going through you know, you don't lost your mom.
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: For let's say you don't lost your mom, and now
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: you ain't did nothing to heal from that. You just
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: stuck in this mentality walking around all day think that
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: you're okay, and you're not. You haven't done any type
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: of healing. You haven't even started the grieving process. So
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: you know, those people in society, those people snap they
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: need like you know, you tell somebody have a good day,
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: and it's fucked your day, it's like dang, you know,
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: it's like dann, what happened was wrong? What you going through?
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: And a lot of the time just because we don't
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: even have compassion for people anymore too, Like if you
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: was to ask somebody what they going through when they
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: just snap at you, A lot of people don't do that.
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: We matching energies.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a person like that. I think you can't.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: You gotta you gotta be the difference or make the difference.
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: You got to. You can't say like, oh, I I
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: don't like when people, you know, people just flip out
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: on somebody or whatever. That's why I'm in therapy. I
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: learn how to deal with my emotions. I learn how
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: to understand what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: that way, and how to continue forward and not necessarily
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: mess my day up, mess somebody else's day up. You know,
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: walk around mad because one thing may be mad. I
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: just talk through Okay, well why am I mad? Okay?
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: Or why do you feel that way? Okay? Well what
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: do you need to do to not feel this way again? Okay?
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: And then I'm done with it. I'm not basking in
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: it walking around mad. Now I'm mad all day every day.
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: It's like you gotta really heal, and it's all a process.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: I think for that, I think a lot of people,
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: like somebody in the comments saying like okay, want to
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: ask to the way in facts, cause you never know
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: what a person is going through, and first of all,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: you might go off on the wrong person, and then
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: that's the same energy and y'all y'all fighting.
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: Right exactly because you never know how far is somebody
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: willing to take it. Like you can look at me
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: and be like, dang, she's positive. She promote positivity. She did,
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: she dies, She don't ever judge. She always see the
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: good in people, which I do, I promise you I do,
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: but right positive, not plussy, don't disrespect me. We're gonna
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: have to take it there, you know, like we don't
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: really have to do it, and we ain't even got
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: to do that, you know, Like I want to help you, like,
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: let's help each other. Like I feel like one of
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: the biggest things in society is where we don't know
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: how to use other people. That's why I'm starting my
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: podcast because I feel like people really do need people.
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: You need to know that it's okay go through what
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: you're going through, like if somebody else has went through it,
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: that you're not the only one, you know. And I
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: feel like in societ we don't really give everybody that
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: grace anymore. We don't.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: I think on top of that, I think it starts
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: with even when our friends, because our friends, you know,
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: we go with our friends go through a lot of things.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: You know, we don't give our friends grace, even people
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: like you said grace and the fact that it's like
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: why she laugh or why she bring this attitude for
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: you never know what is going through you don't never
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: know like, and that's what saying.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I tell people who I work that, good morning, how
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: you doing?
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: Because for me at my job, I am I will laugh,
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: I will smile, like I'll bring them the good energy
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: when I come with not an attitude when I'm coming,
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: like if I don't see anything, like the whole room
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: will literally turn and be like, what is wrong with you?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: And it'd be like, and I can't help people like nothing,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I'm doing fine. It'd be like you're lying.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and my energy feels and I hate that my
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: energy he feeds off other people energy.
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: That's a bad thing for me because I don't like
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: I don't even though I feel a bad I don't
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: want you to feel bad. I don't want like the
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: whole like the whole room got turned down because I
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: have an attitude. Yeah, you you are definitely right on grace.
• 21:19
  Speaker 6: So in your point of life, like what defines you,
• 21:26
  Speaker 6: like in point of your life defines you as the
• 21:29
  Speaker 6: person as today as you look back on your life
• 21:32
  Speaker 6: as a child, as a teenager, you know, as a
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: young adult, you know, as a mother, what defines you
• 21:39
  Speaker 6: as today?
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: I would say so last July July twenty third, twenty four,
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: my grandmother passed away. And my grandmother was an amazing woman,
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: Like I did community work with her all my life.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: We didn't mills on wheels where we were taking hot
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: meals to people who couldn't leave their home. We volunteered
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: at this place called Operation Hope. We volunteered at this
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: place called Hospice Born. We volunteered at hospice where we
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: would just take the patient stuff. And she was a
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: woman of God. She was very honest with everybody, and
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: she didn't have to cush you out to be honest
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: with you. She's like, this is her truth, and you
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: know if you don't agree with it, then you know
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: that's you going right. Like I unsaid what I had
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: to say, And when I was saying remarks at my
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: grandmother's funeral and I was explaining to everybody what type
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: of woman she was, that's when I realized, that's what
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: type of woman I want to be. And I have
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: since then. I started working for a nonprofit like I
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: was saying though, where we helped the community, and I
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: feel like numbers and helping I feel like those things
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: really define me, like who I am as a person.
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: And luckily, working at this nonprofit, I'm able to mix
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: them both together. But I would definitely say my grandmother
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: is like her. Her legacy is I guess what I
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: would say defines me right now because I want to
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: uphold her legacy. I want to be exact everything that
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: I explain to everybody else of what she was. I
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: want to be. I want somebody when I passed, I
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: want somebody to be saying the same exact stuff I
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: said about her about me.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: And I think some people like especially with me, I
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: say I'll get I think it takes a lot of
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: people who to find who I am as today, like
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: it took a whole village to raise me, not just
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: like one person. And the only thing I would say
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: for me personally that even though I'm a joking, even
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: though I laugh, even though I I do a lot
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: of things in life, nobody can never tell me that.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: I never feel I never give up in life. Yeah,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: and you know I always try to find ways to
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: make sure it is done into my way, not nobody
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: else's way, because you.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Can't tell me.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: You can tell me no, but eventually somebody's going to
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: tell me yes, right, or if nobody tell me.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm gonna make my own way.
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: Right, I am just like that. We bet on ourselves.
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: We don't take no for an answer. We just adjust
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: so we can complete the mission because we know what
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: we're capable of. Whether other people know what we're capable
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: of or not, that's on them. We can show them.
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: But it's never we have to prove something. It's never that.
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: It never gives that, it gives. I'm doing what I
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: want to do. This is the path that I want
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: to go go down. This is the accomplishments that I
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: want to accomplish, and I'm getting. You know, we know
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: what timeline we want our lives on, and everybody else
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: around they watching it. They either with us or gainst
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: us on the way or on our team. You know
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: what I'm saying, Like, it's not I'm the same as
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: that way. I feel every single word you said I felt.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: I think it's just the fact that a lot of
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: people try to down prayer us are kind of be
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: like why she doing this, or probably envious or jealous
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: or just I feel sorry for you.
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: Like no, See, that's the other thing that I fit.
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: While I feel like people need people because I've never
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: been jealous of someone. I am always inspired. Everybody inspire me.
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: There is not one single person that I see that
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: I ever see something and be like, oh my god,
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: why does she have that? And I don't I be
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: like damn, what am I have to do to get at?
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: Like it ain't never, It's like I'm always I'm always
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: inspired and encouraged, like, Okay, she do it, I can
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: do it too, Like okay, Like well, me wanted to
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: go back to get my masters. I was like, okay,
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: there's no I can do it. I got two small kids,
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: I'm working myer in my career already for my bachelor's.
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: I can't go get my master's too. Then I met
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: my friend Shi kena shout out to her, and she
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: was like, girl, I took my final for my masters
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: the couple of hours before I gave birth to my youngest.
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: I was like, huh, I said what. She was like, yeah, girl,
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: I had she had two kids already and she was
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: having her third one and she still secured her masters.
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: I was like, I have no excuses. I was instantly
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: inspired and guess what I did well? Ill then signed
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: up for school. Guess what I'm in school? Dude? Like
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: you can't just see somebody and be like, oh I
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: can never get that, or oh I wish y'all had
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: that like make away. That's why I was just talking about,
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: like I don't like when people stay still like you can.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: You can't stay in one spot. You can't be comfortable.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: You have to you have to stretch, you have to
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: expand you have to do more always and I always advance.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Why we have to advance, and it's the fact that
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: stagnant And that's how we talked about stagnant being earlier.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: You know, I feel like in my career I'm stagnant,
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: and I just I feel like I'm in this little
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: funk like it's about to shift, and I don't know
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: how it's gonna shift. It's gonna shift, and a lot
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: of people is not gonna like how it shifts.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: It's gonna depend on my like my friendship. I don't know,
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: it's gonna depend on my family.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: It's going to do a lot of things because a
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: lot of people don't know that when people started to shift,
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: things start moving right. People not expect us to move
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: a certain way. That's why I like having a conversation
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: with you. It's just like you know what you want,
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: you do know what you want.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: And honestly, I've always known, like I always knew I
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: wanted to be an accountant, you know, like how that's
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: like a great area for people when they go to college,
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: they'd be like, oh, and then they change majors, they changed.
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: I was like, I want to go to college to
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: be an accountant, Like I already knew that, and I
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: just didn't know where I was gonna go, but I
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: knew what I wanted to do. And then when I
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: was in college, I had a great time.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Oh girl, we had a great time.
• 28:44
  Speaker 6: A lot of people, a lot.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: Of people counting me out because we was having such
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: a great time. You know, it was like, you know,
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: she ain't gonna graduate, she ain't gonna make it. Then
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: she Then I graduated, I'm talking about she. Then I graduated.
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: Then they like, oh, well, she ain't gonna not with it.
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: Then I moved to Atlanta, and now, well, you know,
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: it's always.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: It's always something they want to find excuse for any thing.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: The fact that when we prove them wrong.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: It's not the fact that like we hit we always
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: take people talking and moving in the brushes and the rush.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: But baby, we we lit's say we have something our heart.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: Nobody will get in our pathway. We are going to
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: a conscious no matter why. And if I tell them
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: all my friends, like, yo, I'm here with you, I
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: ain't leaving with you now. If you're not gonna hop
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: on this trend with me and go do's ride with me?
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Are you not gonna take advantage of what we are
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: doing here? But baby, we are in again. We are
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: in the wrong group.
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: Right, That's what That's what I had to realize. Like
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: before I started doing my TikTok, and once I realized,
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: like I have my voice, I need to use it.
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: I was in a lot of spaces where I wasn't
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: wanting it, I wasn't needed, I wasn't value, I wasn't appreciated.
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: So I didn't know, you know, I was just just
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: kind of stuck in a spot, like stuck in the
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: space where it's like, Okay, I'm not really around like
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: minded people. You know, life done changed. I got kids now,
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: like I want new different things. And then I had to,
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: you know, I had to change my space. I'm like,
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: I'm in the wrong space. And when I when I
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: got in the right space at Blossom, like I just
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: took over the room, like I'm like, this is a
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: space where I belong, this is where I'm appreciated, this
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: is where I'm wanted, this is where I'm needed, and
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: then that's where I'm thriving at. Like before, it's hard
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: if you when you change or when you know like Okay,
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: that's who I used to be, this who I am now,
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: or this is what direction I'm going. You you got
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: to say a lot of hard goodbyes to people like okay,
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: like we were best friends, but now you're okay with
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: saying in the same spot, or you want me to
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: do the You're holding me to the person I used
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: to be and you're not changing your reference point to now.
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: So it's like it's like sorry, my youngest was satifying,
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: but his uncle's here.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: Going okay, it's okay.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I got you, I got you.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Listen, it has been a great time. I'm telling you
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: when your friends and when your family don't understand what
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: you are about to do and did like I said
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: that jealousy, that envy are right, they can't be what you.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Want to do.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Baby, It's okay, I still love you, but baby, we
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: about to back off.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Our bags had on the trim.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: You gonna take a trip because if you're not gonna
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: join us, and you you want to be in this
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: little space that you're in, it is cool.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that, right do you?
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: But I'm not to take myself for me as you
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: blossom right now, I have to take myself and blossom
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: somewhere else.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: It's not me that I'm into my friendship with you.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it happens, but it's just the fact that I'm
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: ready to shift and you are at you are shifted.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: I'm about to go to another level, but you're not
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: prepared to go at right.
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: I was just I was I literally was just talking
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: about it because it's hard, like it's hard to want
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: more for somebody else, because that's ultimately what it is.
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: You're It's like, you're okay with being where you are,
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: and I want more for you. I want you to
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: be more because I'm going to be more. But if
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: you're okay right there, then that's fine. But I'm going
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: to be more. You know, I'm on the moor train,
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: You're on the stay where you are, And it's like,
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: like you said, It don't mean that you don't love
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: them anymore or anything. We just on two different paths,
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: paths on aligne. Like you know, we were we were
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: our past were work and now they're And it's.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, right, And the fact that a lot of people
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: need to realize it's okay to be okay.
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: And it's fine when people don't understand you. It's fine
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: when people start looking at you funny. It's fine when
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: people started to question you, why are you doing this?
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: It is fine because it's not meant for you. It's
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: not meant for everybody else around you. It's meant for
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: that person you and eventually me, myself and I. It
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: is meant for you. It's a gift for you. It's
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: something that you have to work with and it's something
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: that you it's dealt to you. Don't don't let don't
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: let that door close, right, And it's meant for you
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: because that might be the only door that's possible for
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: you to blossom, right.
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: And see, And that's the thing too, It's just like
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: I said when I was in that box, you gotta
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: know what area where you're appreciated, where you're wanted, where
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: you're needed and then you start to become so confident
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: you can't you can't deny the progression that you've made.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: Like you might have been one person or at one
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: spot in your life. Now you're at a different spot
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: in your life, and it's just like, okay, I'm not
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: you know, I'm not in the right spot. And then
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: you move to like, for instance, for me, for TikTok,
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: I've only been on TikTok since July thirteenth. But the
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: purpose of me going on TikTok was I wanted to
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: expand my vocabulary. You know, I'm from spot very South Carolina.
• 35:01
  Speaker 5: I sound country, I know I do. I try my
• 35:04
  Speaker 5: best not to. I try to pronounce all my words correctly.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: I try to sound like water. I do not want
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: to have an accent. I don't want you to hear
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: where I'm I don't want you to hear my voice
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: and know where I'm from. I don't like that. I
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: don't want that. I don't want to sound like I'm
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: from the South. So I, you know, started posting a
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: vocabulary word today. And here we are at September fifteenth,
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: and I have expanded on there like I'm obviously I
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: have met my crowd like the people that they love
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: either they love my vibe. They follow me, they want
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: to just learn a word. They follow me, but they
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: let me know too, Like they message me and they
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: say like I love seeing, Like a lot of the
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: compliments that I get they say, I love seeing. You
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: put a different narrative on black women. A lot of people.
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: A lot of people see black women, they automatically think uneducated,
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: all this, all this, all this and that, but you
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: come to my page or shut shaking shaking ass is
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: what a lot of people say. Or provocative clothing. Just
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: want to be seen. And I do want to be seen,
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: but just not my body, Like I don't want to
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: be lusted over. I want to be seen from my mind.
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: I want to be seeing the difference that I make.
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: I don't want to be seen for oh look, you know,
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: she thicker than a snicker. I don't want that kind
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: of attention, you know, I want I want me, my
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: mental to make a difference in that to be seen.
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: And it has been being seen, and it's so nice.
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: It's so nice. It's just like, wow, thank you for
• 36:40
  Speaker 5: seeing me. I'll be saying that all the time, like
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: that's one of my safe responses because it's just like
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: I really feel seen, I feel valued, I feel cherished,
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: like thank you, And it's just from being on TikTok.
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: It's like I'm in the right room I'm supposed to
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: be in and my own page posting, and the people
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: come to me and they appreciate me, and it's nice.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: All rights, girl, and it's powered to people. Girl, it's
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: great to talk to you.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you girls, y'all just got a little taste.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: I have a little taste girl.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Because when we come back on my other network, Black Canvas, Girl,
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: we are going to dive in deep for her and
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: I have another guess what her.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: We're gonna check that out September.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: And also girl, any advice anything you want to let
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: to know the people know who are listening now, Like
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: what you got coming out where you're doing, how big
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: a value?
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, okay. So I am on TikTok at Jenessa
• 37:46
  Speaker 5: dot Gil. I am on YouTube at JG with jg
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: I am on Instagram as jg W. But it's all
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: felled out a little complicated. It's j gee double like
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: two and then you like y owe you. So those
• 38:11
  Speaker 5: are my panhandles. I will be starting a podcast. It's
• 38:16
  Speaker 5: called Just Guidance with Jenessa Gale Me and that is
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: going to be on Halloween. I'm going to be premiering
• 38:26
  Speaker 5: it and I will be back with mister Zach on
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: the thirtieth.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir, check it out, man listen. Thank you so much.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: Thank you for my listeners who have been listening. I
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: have read the comments throughout all social media. I appreciate it.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: If you are want more of her, check out Black
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: Canvas Septemy thirtieth on Belly Nation Online Radio, where I
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: will be.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: At at nine thirty. Thank you, and I love y'all.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Y'all have a great mind. And this astor royal mic, this.
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: M H.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I will text you m